#yeah you can make fun of me because of the weed smoking gfs but you know

[heatwa-ves]

pls yap abt ur fave jojo part 🎤

yippeeeee ^_^ okay so from fav to least fav it's 5/6/4/2/3/1 to me 4 and 2 are interchangeable. I haven't finished part 6 yet I have only a few episodes left but I don't want it to be over so I keep putting off finishing it...

part 5 is my fav because I just love the main cast sososososososoooo much it's definitely the strongest main cast of any of the parts imo I find them all so interesting and compelling and it's hard to choose a fav (it's fugo tho. sobs dies etc) the relationships between the characters are so good as well...

also trish I LOVE trish. she's everything she's such an interesting character I do wish she had more moments like her first scenes where she's an annoying teen and I would've loveedddddd a scene where she lashes out at the rest of the cast and kind of hates them because of everything she's been through she's suddenly taken from her life and thrown into a world of violence and it's not fair and she should've been allowed to be mad about it!! she does have a lot of really good moments tho ofc the part where she awakens her stand and everything leading up to it (on that note spice girl should've been used more I can only think of maybe two instances where she was used??) and also another fav is in the cioccolata fight where she talks to narancia about bruno it's really nice characterisation for all of them + you see more of narancias blind faith in bruno that ultimately leads to his death. semi related naratrish is really cute guys . ... straight people rights.

another trish moment I am deeply obsessed with is the purple haze feedback bonus chapter which is her visiting brunos grave and speaking with his mother. makes me stupid emotional. her becoming a singer post canon is soooooooo important music is a pretty big theme in the relationships between the main cast most importantly in this case is when fugo says (roughly paraphrased) "how can you throw your life away for this girl you barely know, you don't even know what music she likes" (fun fact in phf fugo goes on to talk about how he's not too fond of women he hates his mother and he doesn't like trish 😭)

ANYWAYYY wait I'm gonna talk about music more because. I'm sick. so there's stuff like abbacchio having headphones on in the first scene we see him and narancia having a stereo on the boat and then ofc the torture dance... it's fun and silly but also it's like. they're just kids. sobs. music is their thing all the characters have a listed favourite artist all the stands are named after music!!! and then my fav part this scene in phf .

so yeah trish becoming a singer is both a connection with her mother because they used to sing together and connection with the people who died so she would have a chance to live and a chance to move from her father's influence and have a bright future. I do wonder if she stays in contact with the survivors post canon I like to think she does with mista at least. maybe not giorno at first because that's all too raw and also I think he would discourage contact between them for her safety but maybe eventually. also another trish scene I like (well. She's not actually present for it) is right before the finale where bruno is dying and he can't tell people apart and he talks to doppio thinking it's trish and he promises her she can stay in his house if she has nowhere to go because he knows he won't make it home and he never does and she wasn't even there to hear him say that to her. sobs. I saw a hc that post canon she gets a tattoo around her wrist of a zipper in memory and I really like that idea

also it's insane to me that she is the ONLY female character in part 5. What? Huh? jojo had never been good with women leading up to this but I thought we were finally getting somewhere with diu and reimi yukako tomoko shinobu aya yuyas three weed smoking gfs etc but no. we're back to one again. she's a really good character but still. One. sheila doesn't count she's not in the main part. how are none of la squadra women. I hate la squadra but I would've taken it. I would've hated diavolo slightly less if he was a woman. but no. just one. well the intelligent among us (me) will know and understand that mista is butch but well. araki doesn't know that. Ah well at least we get jolyne next part. Also I just found out apparently giorno was meant to be a girl but arakis editor made him change it.. sigh.

speaking of la squadra can I just express how much I hate them. they're so annoying the only one I can tolerate is illuso and that's because man in the mirror & purple haze is my absolute fav part of golden wind and also he's somewhat interesting in his relationship with sheila and then her relationship with fugo in that he killed the man she had her heart set on taking revenge on because he killed her sister and forced her down the path to the mafia. I can't stand risotto he looks like a tokyo ghoul reject and yet everyone on tumblr dot com wants his dick. why. where is the appeal. he pisses me offfff and also it doesn't help that his stand at least the way it appears in the anime makes me like physically uncomfortable which is a little bit embarrassing it's a really cool stand I just can't watch the episode without feeling sick . and his name is RISOTTO how can you want a man named risotto. that would kill the mood in bed so fucking fast you can't call him that 😭😭😭😭 anyway I hate him moving on. I also hate diavolo and doppio sorry guys they're annoying and diavolo pisses me off bc his hair looks like a dragon fruit . the torture time loop was cruel tho giorno . just put him out of his misery. his lace shirt thing is cute tho at the very least. so yeah my main issue with part 5 is aside from the main cast I really don't like any of the other characters wait no. scratch that. I like squalo and tiziano they're cute. I hate all the others tho. melone is the worst by far to me and it bothers me how many people like him. he shows up sexually assaults a woman and then dies there is nothing to like. wait I take that back there is one thing to like and it's the tadashi harada x jojo thing LOOK. melone is the last one but can we talk about bruno?????? Hello???????????????????? im obsessed

Anywayyyyy I talked about trish for a bit so now im gonna talk about the other characters hopefully this won't be too long but. well. I like to talk. can u believe I was gonna talk about some of my opinions on other parts on this post it would be so long 💀 my endless hatred for part 3 can be a topic for another time

first of all bruno 💖 sorry to anyone who was following me in november of last year I swear I'm not normally Like That he's just the exception. combination of that fuckass bob and titty window and . everything . anyway I calmed down now only because I got my fix by actually watching the show not hoping mutuals would take pity on me and rb art of him onto the dash. i was so excited to see him and his narrative exceeded my expectations by far. died and came back wrong??? walking corpse that is slowly decaying??? saviour complex????? forced to grow up too fast???? I love thinking about his life in the mafia pre fugo as well as the early days of his own team... his relationships with all the other characters are sooooo interesting to me especially giorno I've talked about them before here

I love sticky fingers it's soooo cool he should use it more for making severed.hands come out of random kids mouths like he did in episode one. let him be a fucking freak again. not a fan of the stand design tho sadly but I guess they can't all be winners 😓 I think it's the blue it kinda throws me off like that's notttt the vibes. but what do I know. also shoutout to the actual album sticky fingers it fucks hard and no I definitely did not start listening to it because I was sick over bruno that is not why I listened to it at all. (it totally is)

I also love abbacchio sm like acab but.. at least he's not a cop anymore. shoutout to suicidal characters always my favs . I don't really know how to talk about him without just going ouughghhj he makes me sick in the head. he joined passione to have something to die for.. and he ended up dying not for passione but for his own cause (well. bruno's cause but he's so devoted to bruno that he'd do anything. let's talk about "I only feel at ease when im with you". Hello? phf also implies he's straight which????? this is Mr "I only feel anything if I'm following the orders of men superior to me" we're talking about. bdsm could save him)

he's haunted by the ghost of his past and well without getting too into my interpretation of stands I think it would be so cool if pre passione moody blues isn't fully there yet but he can see her in the corner of his eye sometimes in the form of his dead partner. speaking of moody blues she's soooooo cool most fuckable stand by far. I mean what who said that. she has such an awesome ability I wish it was used more she's so interesting to me bc her ability is the literal manifestation of his inability to move on from the past I like to think about their relationship.. to me stands have varying levels of sentience randing from like. power outlet. to echoes act 3. and moody blues idk I think she has some level of sentience. i think she stands there looking creepy and wet to get her point across and it works. anyway my endless thoughts on stands is a topic for another time back to abbacchio.

it's canon that he's the most physically strong of the team I would love if he had some fights. before starting the show I had only seen his design a couple times and I was sooooo convinced he had a long black morticia addams ass dress and nothing compared to my disappointment when I realised it was a coat thing. the purple lipstick is everything. I think a lot about his life post police pre passione as well as early passione days. finally obligatory mention that I like bruabba but I think it's most fun if it's onesided. abbacchio is 1000000% in love with bruno like that's not even debatable but I don't think it's reciprocated 💖 actually this reminds me there's one araki interview where he's asked if abbacchio loves bruno and he says something along the lines of "NO???? THEYRE NOT LIKE THAT. dio is tho. did you know dio is bisexual did you know dio likes men. sexually. did you know dio has awesome gay sex. abbacchio is straight tho" I wish I could find it again because it's so funny to me

I love narancia. have I mentioned that I love narancia. I love narancia. what can I even say other than I love narancia. best character araki has ever made 10/10 no notes I sobbed when he died. going into the last few episodes I knew two people were gonna die and I knew one of them would be bruno and I was just hoping narancia wouldn't die. and then he did and I was inconsolable uaaagghhhhhh giorno growing flowers over him.... he just wanted to go home.... he wanted to see fugo again.... the scene with fugo where he thinks he sees aerosmith I'll kill myself AFGHHHH. the scene in venice where he can't decide whether to go or stay.... him realising the similarities between him and trish... his backstory... his character design... he's literally perfect. did u know I love him. what else can I even say.

now mista. well you see. um. read this . I just think he's neat. I love his relationship with fugo especially post canon like. they were friends!!! I think they were both closer to narancia than to eachother but regardless they were friends and then fugos "betrayal" not that it was a betrayal but to mista it felt like that. especially because he then lost his best friend and can't help but think if fugo was here maybe that wouldn't have happened. and I think fugo has the same feelings if he was there maybe they wouldn't have lost so many people. and this drives a huge rift into their relationship you can see how they are at the start of phf that's another scene I really like and I think it would take a really long time for them especially mista to be in a place where they can consider eachother friends again and even when they do it will never be the same as it once was. also the sex pistols are great I love them.

now giorno. yesterday on instagram I discovered that there's a sizable minority of people who think he's boring 😭 and I feel the need to defend him. he's literally my little brother I love him . he's such a funny character he's fifteen and a mafia boss and his dad is an evil semi immortal bisexual vampire and that's not even the weirdest member of his family. he wears hot pink heart cutout suits. he's fine with robbery and gang violence and murder but draws the line at drug use. he's so serious that it's silly. he's fifteen. boy why are you running italys criminal underworld go hand in your homework

but then he's also an incredibly tragic character he has never ever been close to anyone all he's known is loneliness. and you expect me not to burst into tears????? he wasn't even particularly close with any of passione they were friendly aside from abbacchio because abbacchio is a bitch ass hater who has nothing better to do than pick fights with teenagers (he should meet rohan.. worlds most insufferable yaoi. gay sex would fix everything wrong with both of them so idk maybe they could help eachother out but they would absolutely hate eachother. Anyway.) the closest he is with any of the others is bruno like I talked about earlier but again they only knew eachother for a week or so and their relationship is founded on and primarily revolves around a shared goal. I do picture him getting very close with fugo post canon I would've loved them to have more interactions in canon but the final scene of phf fed me well so I can't complain too much. their personalities work well together I think whether romantically or not they can be the companionship they both desperately need.

not the point but his mother is also a deeply fascinating character to me I wanna see inside her brain. there's her understandable frustration at the loss of her youth due to a child she never planned for and lack of a support system but that frustration leads to complete apathy towards her baby. I don't think she's deliberately malicious she just doesn't care. I don't think she ignores him all the time she probably has moments where she plays with him or shows him to her friends like aww look how cute my baby is but more often than not she leaves him completely alone and that apathy is just cruel. her lack of care then develops into her turning a blind eye to her husband abusing him which okay maybe she didn't notice at first but it gets to a point where you can't not notice. so she just ignores it and tells herself it's strong parenting or whatever and continues gallivanting around living her best life like she doesn't even have a kid. she's awful but I can understand what led her to this point. maam let me into your head I wanna examine it

back to giorno let's talk about gold experience. one of the most interesting abilities in the entire series to me and it's used in such versatile ways similar to crazy diamond which I really like. the ability to Literally Create Life is sooooo everything don't even get me started on religious motifs. in the first fight against bruno gold experience is used to imbue more life into him and iirc that ability is never used again which is a shame. araki loves doing interesting things in the first fight and never addressing them again. I'm looking at you kakyoin. anyway cool stand moving on

now fugo!! so before going into part 5 I had some level of knowledge of the characters from tumblr + friends but I didn't really know anything about him and as I watched he was just kinda there I had no real opinion other than thinking the strawberry theme was cute but then we got to man in the mirror and I was like oh shit. I see the vision. the scene in venice where he chooses to stay behind is soooo good but I was expecting for the whole second half that he would come back and I was really surprised that he didn't but in retrospect that was definitely a good choice even tho im sad we didn't see more of him. his final scene where it cuts to him alone in naples for a minute is sooooo agjghhjhn and then of course there's phf. we'll get to that

I read that araki initially intended for fugo to be a spy for diavolo and giorno would've had to kill him and while that's interesting I'm glad it's not what he went with I think what we actually got is so much more tragic because no one is really in the wrong? but they hurt eachother and fugo has to live with the fact that he lost his friends because he wasn't there and nothing will ever be the same. It will definitely be hard for him post canon especially without bruno because bruno was the first person aside from his grandmother who he was close to and he lost them both!!!! bruno is the one who saved him and bruno is the one who told him they can't survive outside of passione and bruno is the one who told him his loyalty is to passione first and foremost so the events in venice feel even worse to fugo it feels like bruno betrayed him rather than him betraying the rest of them. it's not that fugo doesn't care for the others because he's put himself at risk for them before (man in the mirror etc) but he's very intelligent and rational and when he's not angry he will evaluate the risks of a situation before acting. and here he just can't fathom why bruno and the others would throw everything they have away for a suicide mission to protect one random girl. and then when it's just him and narancia and he feels like shit but at least narancia is there except then he goes on his whole trish is me and I am trish thing and leaves too and fugo just has to watch the boat leave!!!! there's a part in phf which I have to quote because I reached image limit

.

"Thinking too much...that's why I couldn 't get on the boat! The thought surprised him. He couldn 't get on the boat. Not 'didn't', but 'couldn't.' Was it true? Had he actually wanted to get on the boat? Had he wanted to go with the others? Deep down? But if that's true... That didn't sound like him at all. Buccellati had scouted him, counted on him to stay calm, pick the logical option, minimize losses. No, wait...wait...

The wheels were spinning now. Why hadn't he been able to get on the boat? Because nobody had expected him to. Who hadn't expected him to? Buccellati. But Buccellati had told them to get on the boat... No. No, he didn't say that.

"I won't order you to come with me. I won't even wish for it." Those were his words. That's why Narancia had begged him to order him on board.

So I...took him at his word? Since it wasn't an order, I... Without direct orders, he was expected to chose the course with less peril. Take no unnecessary action until the next opportunity was made clear. Was that why he'd been frozen to the spot? He’d felt like he’d made up his own mind, but had he really been robotically conforming to the common sense drilled into his head since he was born?"

.

agh. explodes. another thing I find really interesting is how he used to take on orders privately that he knew would hurt bruno and then eventually got abbacchio to help and he's been doing this since he was what. fourteen? thirteen? bruno had been in the mafia almost six years at that point he's reached a point where he's mostly desensitized to murder so what sort of shit would he not be able to take mentally? it's that which fugo took upon himself to do at such a young age what the FUCK.

fugo is so compelling to me he's a kid who's been hurt so much by everyone in his life and he doesn't know how to cope with that and he's so angry at the world and he can't control how he reacts so he lashes out at everyone. he reminds me a bit of my oc rayaan they're both so traumatised and react with anger because what else can they do. except rayaan then has to come to terms with being gay and in love with his roommate slash best friend who is Not Interested and meanwhile all fugos friends die. anyway. his stand is the physical manifestation of his own anger and self loathing and no wonder he hates it!!! can't imagine the pain of your soul being laid bare in front of you and all it can do is hurt. I think he internalises that to a degree his hatred of purple haze reflects his hatred of himself and the world but to a greater level because this is all the worst parts of him. BUT!!!!! at the end of phf when he bites the virus capsule murolo says "Stands reflect the owner's personality, when there's a shift in the psyche, the stand changes too." and then there's this passage which is everything to me

.

"Purple Haze. His own alter ego. A reflection of his own mind. Another Pannacotta Fugo. It was staring at him.

And for the first time, Fugo stared back. Had its eyes always looked like this? He felt the eyes had been more lonely, before.

Or was that an emotion he’d forgotten somewhere along the way?

Like the bacteria that fill our world, existing without our help, rebuffing all attempts to get rid of them. Something you didn't want, but were, for some reason, certain you could never be free of. A shadow of conflicted emotion.

It looked down at him, and he looked up at it. When he could no longer believe anything, and had nowhere else to go, it would always be at his side. Neither of them said anything."

.

he's grown so much!!!!! Im stupid emotional rn I need to reread phf in full it's what got me so obsessed with fugo as a character it's sooooo good. the ending... fugo calling giorno giogio... this illustration... the chapter title being "the soldier in love" which of course is referencing trish's song but also you can't tell me that's not talking about fugo especially combined with the final lines???? "I am yours, our giogio" and "Half a step," he said. "If you can't take a step forward, then I'll step halfway to you. Everything hinges on your decision, but if grief anchors your feet, then let me share it."

and THIS LINE??? "Only one person could do something about that. You. Pannacotta Fugo - you were the only person who could do something about this threat. The only person who can change your stand is you." literally what the fuck. sobs dies etc. not to sound insane but I love fugo so much his growth as a person makes me sooooooo emotional. In his last fight in phf he goes "Sheila is me, her anger is my anger" and I think that's a really nice line to summarise his character growth he's now understanding what made narancia chase after the boat sheila is also someone he doesn't know well just like trish was but he decides to risk everything to protect and fight for her he's grown so much in such a short period of time. And I love him.

.

And with that I'm done!! I still have more to say of course but this is enough for now 💖 very quickly summary of my opinion on other parts

1. I'm gonna be honest all I remember about part 1 is it sent me and my friend down a rabbit hole of those thomas jefferson miku binder esque politician drawings.

2. I like joseph sorry everyone. caejose my world. araki doing gods work by putting them both in cute little crop tops half the time

3. part 3 pisses me off I have so much to say about it but that's a rant for another time. shoutout to holly kujo I luv her

4. I wasn't vibing with part 4 at first it's very slice of life which isn't my preferred genre but after kira shows up it gets REALLY good. I love josuke he's my baby brother fr. I love shinobu

6. jolyne save me FF save me jolyne save me FF save me etc. excited but also scared to finish it 💖

[rinhaler]

i was missing the plug! sukuna gossip nights

the weeding thing omg???? if toxic megumi is there i can picture him and his girlfriend making the whole thing about them like he's trying to break up the fight between yuuji and kuna by setting sukuna aside and trying to calm him down (just because he's a little bit stronger than yuuji and he doesn't what to see his friends getting hurt) and megumi's girl goes "so you are a girlfriends thief's apologist?? maybe you are stealing some girlfriends yourself??🤨🤨" and making a whole scene while the og reader is crying on her weeding dress trying to calm yuuji and apologize to him and everything is a mess

also what is ino doing while all of this is happening??

i love all of this looking like a tragic comedy, you and your anons make me so happy💞💞

-🧸

omg if toxic megumi is there he is not getting involved, he's taking the opportunity of his gf being distracted to scout out potential and then think of a way to have a fight with her later so he can go home with a new girl 😭

Tbh I can also imagine Ino slipping away to smoke bc he's STRESSED he'd be like yeah I'm not cut out for this drama let me just go... over... here... casually sneaking away to light up and try n relax bc the screaming and tears are entirely too much for him. And then when he gets back he's stoned as hell and finds the whole thing hilarious. (Sukuna might smack him).

NONNIES ARE SO FUN I LOVE CHATTING WITH U GUYS ABOUT THE LIL AU'S WE'VE MADE TOGETHER 🥺🥺🥺

[melismaticmadness]

FLAME

Request: “Charlie request-if your mind I with writing it where Charlie’s gf smokes and the people around him aren’t too sure she’s what he needs right now x”

I took this in an unexpected direction, this one is somewhat dark. If you want a story with a different ending, let me know! Hope you like this!

Description: angst, friendship, relationship drama

1745 Words

Warnings: dark, talks of addiction, smoking, language, relationship drama (the friends kinda get mean towards y/n, and so does Charlie. this is not a happy one. )

((I have never smoked or known someone who smoked, and the request was vague for what kind of smoker and what kind of story, so I just went off my instincts. If this is offensive in any way PLEASE let me know.))

Charlie Gillespie x Female Reader

“Hey,” Charlie said, running out of the house to meet me, “I wondered where you went.”

I gave a random guy at the party $3 bucks for a cig. I always had a lighter, so Charlie found me right as the flame was hitting my cigarette.

“Just needed a break, you know.” y/n said before inhaling.

“I would’ve come out with you. Nothing is happening in there.”

Blowing the smoke out of my mouth away from Charlie, I just shook my head.

“Char, I’m a big girl. I’ll just be a few more minutes.”

“Alright, alright. Stay under the light. I don’t like you out here in the dark alone.”

He ran back inside with his hands stuffed in his pockets. You get used to the chilly LA nights when you’ve been smoking for a long time.

Back inside, Charlie’s friends watched him as he walked in. He settled back on the couch and was watching the hockey game. Owen was the first to ask where y/n was even though he knew the answer. He didn’t have to say anything, he just gave Charlie a look.

“She’ll be right back.”

“She’s smoking?” Owen inquired.

“Yeah, but it’s just a cigarette. It’s not like she’s walking up and down the street with a blunt in her mouth,” Charlie spit the last few words out like daggers.

“Woah, calm down. I was just asking what she was doing..”

Charlie didn’t respond and just stared off into the TV screen until y/n came back inside. When the game was over Charlie said his goodbyes and we went back to my place.

***********************

Weeks went by and Charlie’s roommates were in the kitchen one morning, whispering before he was awake.

“Every time she comes over I can smell her before I can see her..How did they meet again?.. It’s not good for Charlie to get mixed up with someone like her so early in his career…I don’t want her over here anymore...”

“Morning, guys.”

“Ah, morning..” a chorus of greetings sounded off as Charlie came in for coffee.

“What’s everyone standing around for?”

“Can we talk to you for a sec?”

“Uh yeah sure..am I in trouble or something?” Charlie laughed as he took a sip.

“We were just talking about y/n...What do you guys, like, do together?”

“Guys, I know we’re close but I am not telling you that shit!”

“No, Charlie, seriously,” one roommate asked, “How do you guys spend your time just hanging out?”

“Why does it matter how we- we just hang out. Just like you and your girlfriend do,” Charlie’s roommates rolled their eyes, “Fine. We play video games or watch a movie or listen to music. Happy?”

“What is she doing when you’re just hanging out?”

“I don’t know guys, I think she’s doing the same thing since we’re together!”

“Charlie. Does she smoke every time you guys hang out?” his female roommate asked.

“Oh god, not this again.”

“You come home reeking man, sometimes the whole apartment smells like weed or smoke when you come home from her place. We just want to make sure you’re not getting mixed up in things you can’t get out of.”

“She’s not making me smoke with her! And if I remember, we’ve all smoked here more than a few times. Don’t fucking act like saints.”

“That’s not at all what we’re saying! We just are worried, man. You’re not the guy who is stoned all the time, and you’re not the guy to go any further than smoking like twice a year!”

“I am not talking about this anymore. We’re fine. If you don’t want her coming over here anymore- that’s fine. I’ll shower when I come back and that’s it.” Charlie was pissed. He took his mug and stomped back to his room.

Charlie could not believe the interrogation he just got. Y/n was not making him do anything, if he was smoking more it’s because he wanted to.

He put some music on and started playing guitar over the top of it. Charlie was just trying to drown out the voices in his head that were just making him worry about his relationship. Then his phone rang and it was Owen.

“Hey, Charlie.”

“Hey.”

“So I heard what just happened..”

“Oh god, now they’re sending you in for reinforcements. Jesus Christ.”

“They’re just worried about you. I am too a little.”

“What is there to fucking worry about?! It’s not like I’m showing up to work wasted or stoned out of my ass!”

“Not yet, but how many times have you gone to an audition or a meeting smelling like weed? And don’t say never, because Tori told me you showed up to a meeting with her and Paul and your eyes were bloodshot and you stunk.”

“ONE TIME! I overslept, we had a late night. I’m careful to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

“Char, that’s not the point! I don’t even know you when you’re with her! You’re not goofing off and being an asshole anymore, you’re too worried about how much she’s smoked or if she can’t smoke where we’re at, you’re worried about her when she bums a cig off someone and is outside alone!”

Owen let out a strangled breath and Charlie could tell that he had been holding that in for a while.

“O, I am fine. Don’t you want to be happy? She makes me happy.” Charlie pleaded.

“Dude, of course, I do, but I don’t want to lose the guy who became my best friend. I don’t want to see everything you’ve worked for go down the drain because she gets you in too deep.”

“I’m not doing anything you and I haven’t already done together.”

“I really hope that’s true, Char. It’s not my relationship, but I don’t think she’s good for you. Just looking out for you.”

“I’m still me! Trust me, things will get better.”

They said their goodbyes as the conversation came to a close. Charlie knew what he had to do now.

***********************

Charlie knocked on y/n’s door and was surprised when she opened her apartment door and people were there. He could smell what was going on from down the hall but wasn’t expecting to see others.

“Uh, sorry to show up like this. Can we talk for a sec?”

“Yeah, Yeah. You ok? Let’s go to my room.”

She plopped on the bed and reached over to her nightstand to light what was in her hand.

“Can you wait to do that? I wanna talk about something..”

“Okay..”

“Have we gone out when you haven’t smoked beforehand or while we’re out?”

“Uh yeah probably, why?”

“I was just thinking that I’m not sure you have...and talking to Owen just got me worried..”

“He’s worried about me smoking on our dates? Is this about the other night? I did not ask you to come outside after me.”

“No, it’s not. Well, not entirely. Lately, my roommates and Owen have been worried that all we do is smoke together and how it could mess me up..”

“Ouch, okay. I never make you smoke. Let’s make that clear. There have been many times when you don’t and I do.”

“See and even that’s what’s worrying me.. Do I even know you when you’re not stoned?”

“What the fuck, Charlie.”

“I came over today- It's fucking noon! You have a whole smoke session going! Have they been here all night??” Now he was yelling, partially because of the pent up anger of his conversations this morning and partially because she was not getting what he was saying.

“Yes, they have! WHY’S IT MATTER TO YOU?! You could have been here last night, but you had to ‘focus’ you said!”

“I can’t sleep here and go to a 9am appointment in the morning! I walk in smelling like a fucking pothead, y/n. This is my CAREER. I don’t get to sit home and smoke all day long! There are other things to do!”

“Other things, like work? I do work Charlie and fuck you for making me feel like I owe you an explanation for how I spend my free time.” Y/n threw a water bottle off the bed and hit a pillow to get some frustration out.

“GOD! That’s not what I’m trying to say!! UGH,” Charlie said, putting his face in his hands and sitting on the edge of the bed, “You can do whatever you want in your free time.”

“I know I can.”

“Are you willing to not smoke for a day? Can you not smoke for a day? A whole 24 hours, not just like not smoking for a few hours while we’re at an event.” Charlie was asking sincerely now. He needed to know.

“I probably can...lately I’ve been smoking every day, but I’m just stressed..”

“Will you be able to hold off for events? What if I’m invited to a premiere or what if the band goes on tour? Kids watch our show, you can’t stand by my side high.”

“Charlie, I’m not addicted to weed, if that’s what you’re asking,” Y/n said with an attitude.

“If you’re saying you’ve smoked every day for a while, then I definitely don’t know you sober. We’ve been together- what? 3 months? What happens when weed isn’t enough anymore?”

“I don’t know, Charlie! I’ll stop when it’s not enough! I’ll stop now, is that what you want to hear?! I am an adult and I can do what I want! Maybe I’ll try something different! You knew what this would be like, no one forced you into this!”

“You are so much more than who you show people. You don’t need to be high to have fun or relax or whatever feeling you’re chasing,” Charlie was wearing a blank expression now, “I’m sorry but maybe they were right. Maybe this isn’t good right now.”

Charlie turned, stormed out of the bedroom, and out the apartment door. Y/n chased after him but stopped at the apartment door. He was already out of sight.

He was out in front of her building when it all hit him at once, “FUCK!” He yelled to himself as he shoved his keys in his pocket and walked to his car.

Maybe he had just ruined the best thing to ever happen to him, or he got out just in time.

[prorevenge]

Mess with minors and my job? Lose your job and your boyfriend.

Tl;dr at the end because this is a doozy.

Alright circa 2014 I worked for a large movie theatre chain in a small Midwestern city. Job was pretty awesome outside of the shit pay and essentially no way to move up. I like to think I am good at my job and I try my hardest no matter where I work. In this particular situation I was one the most tenured employees at the theatre save for two other folks who had worked there part time on the side, and had full time jobs elsewhere.

So for the sake of this story I need to tell you about Jane (not actual name). Jane started working for the theatre 2 months before me. They worked elsewhere as a supervisor and was looking to move up at the theatre. Right after I started one of the managers left to work at a different theatre and the supervisor moved up. We had two managers, one general manager (basically the highest level at the theatre), and a supervisor which is a manager in training. (This is important.) Jane somehow got the supervisor position even though there was another person who essentially was promised the position due to their continued service at the theatre for almost 8 years. There were rumors about Jane sleeping with the GM when she started and this situation got them going again. I didn’t care too much because why would I, I am but a lowly peon in the corporate machine. Anyways Jane moved up and the tenured crew member left the company because they got screwed over.

Once Jane moved up we had a whole meeting about her moving up and how the theatre focuses on professionalism and ensuring no favoritism was happening. Specifically referencing how normal crew members shouldn’t fraternize outside of work with management.

Jane didn’t really listen to that though. She continued to hang out with the crew members who were mostly underage and would do various things like go drinking with minors, taking them to bars and buying them drinks or simply buying alcohol at a store and letting them drink at her house, I honestly have no issue with the drinking at home deal, just adding context, as well smoke weed with them and post pictures on Instagram. Oh yeah I forgot to mention Jane had a secret Instagram where they would post pictures of themselves with their friends from the theatre. They chose Instagram because none of their family or their boyfriend used Instagram and no one would know right?

Even more damning was her relationship with a 19 year old that worked at the theatre. She had a boyfriend who had been with her for years and honestly supported her for all intensive purposes. Not only did she have a 19 year old side piece, but also was messing around with a 17 year old. I even caught them messing around in the break room one time. She essentially threatened me with my job if I told anyone. Honestly she could’ve just told me to please be quiet and I would have just judged her silently.

Fast forward about a year or so and another one of the managers left for a new job. Jane obviously moved up and someone else took the supervisor position. Now I won’t go into too much detail, but despite my tenure and performance I was looked over for the promotion. A newer crew member who was really good friends with Jane got the position over me. This was confirmed by the other manager who let me know that Jane was definitely in good with the GM, who ultimately made the final decision. That being said I was beginning to sour and making minimum wage for years at a job that couldn’t give a shit about my efforts and continued performance. That being said I was preparing for an exit.

Before I get into my exit, it is important to note that Jane had and most likely still has a problem with me. I have talked about some issues I had with her, but I never escalated or even confronted her about anything she did to me up to this point. I honestly left it be. But I didn’t like her and the fact I didn’t like her or play along with her bullshit infuriated her. So much to the point where she made my life hell at the theatre. When she was a supervisor she didn’t have much power but when she became manager she began giving me shit shifts, convincing people that I was weird and to avoid me (I mean I am weird but not like avoid me weird), threatening me physically, threatening my job, her and her gang of misfit assholes also slashed my tires (I have no solid proof, but my car was parked in the employee lot and ya know only employees can get in), beyond that she also made fun of my girlfriend (my now wife) for having an invisible illness (MS), she would make her life hell because she had a disability and had some minor limitations. Add together all of this, plus my GF went off to college, plus getting looked over for the promotion, suffice it to say I found a new job.

I had a few close friends at the theatre including my now wife who I met while working there (silver lining right.) I had let a few of them know about the new job, but told them to keep it on the DL since it was still two weeks away. I had put my two weeks in with the GM and asked that he also keep it on the DL since Jane and her posse would fuck with me. I told him that I wanted to tell everyone myself so it kept him quiet.

Now the important thing about my new job is that it essentially paid me double my wages from the theatre. All of my friends were stoked for me, I was taking a job that would also have me making more than the managers at the theatre but also a job that put me on a better track in life. That being said with Jane and I butting heads on multiple occasions and her track record of messing with me, she decided to get one last attack on me. She started a rumor that I was just going to call out on all of my shifts the two weeks before my new job started.

With her last act of revenge in motion, the GM approached me and let me know that he wouldn’t be scheduling me the last two weeks. I tried to explain to him that the rumors were bullshit that I needed to work because it would be my only source of income. I told him that Jane started the rumor and I started to tell him all of the other stuff as well. He of course didn’t believe me and told me that Jane wouldn’t do what I was saying she would do. So it was her word vs mine. I contacted my new job who let me know that my start date was firm and that their budget wouldn’t allow me to start until two weeks later as originally planned. Now here I am essentially jobless for two weeks. Now I was upset, but I was also lucky. I was still living with family and didn’t have to pay rent, so I sucked it up and essentially told myself that I would just take a forced two week vacation. But Jane didn’t stop there. She escalated again by having one of her cronies call my new job and tell them that I got fired. I was luckily able to talk down my new boss by letting him know that this wasn’t the case that I put my two weeks in and everything else, but that was the last straw.

I left my last day at the theatre and while it was sad and I was upset that I wouldn’t be able to work out the last two weeks of my job that I had for years, I was focused and determined on revenge. Rule #1 of living a secret life and having a secret Instagram is not add every body and their mother to the page. I had a friend of a friend who also didn’t care for Jane let’s call them Joe. Joe and I had gone to high school together and briefly worked at the theatre together. He and Jane were part of the same group at the theatre until they had a small falling out. Nothing crazy but he wasn’t exactly happy with her. I talked to Joe and we discussed my issues with Jane over some lunch that I bought for him. (Food is the key to all revenge plots.) Once we ate and discussed my problems with Jane I asked for his help. I needed access to her Instagram. Ya know the secret one, showing her hanging out with underage employees, drinking alcohol and smoking weed with them, and also some mushy posts about her 19 year old boyfriend, as well as some moderately racy photos with her 17 year old fling. With very little discussion he gave me full access.

I took screenshots of essentially everything. We are talking 2-3 years worth of illicit and moderately illegal activity. More than enough to get her fired and to raise some questions in her relationship. I took the screenshots and I printed them on the most high quality paper/material that CVS had to offer. I also copied them too a few flash drives for good measure. I purchased two yellow padded envelopes (can never be too safe), and I filled them both with copies of all of the posts as well as a flash drive with additional copies. As well I included a note in each one for the appropriate parties.

One of the envelopes was taped to the back door of the theatre. There was somewhat of a blind spot so pulled into the parking lot from the rear and snuck around the corner mission impossible style to tape the envelope to the back door. On it was the GM’s name, as well in the letter I merely stated that one of their managers had a secret Instagram with a lot of damning evidence of not only favoritism, but also fraternizing with underage employees amongst other wrong doings. In the letter I also requested her immediate termination or the information would be provided to the district manager as well as our corporate office. I made sure to put it somewhere the GM would see on his morning sweep when he opened the theatre. The second folder and letter was delivered to her home by Joe. Joe agreed to this as I knew Jane’s schedule and had a good idea of when she would be gone and he knew where she lived from previous hang outs.

With both folders delivered it was only a matter of time. Before I knew it I was receiving death threats from Jane’s gang. All of them saying that they knew it was me and that Jane was going to come after me, that she never did anything to deserve this. It didn’t matter to me of course, I no longer worked there and would hopefully never have to deal with them again. From what I heard she was taken into the main office of the theatre and the GM let her have it. He ultimately had to fire her because there was very clear proof that she was in direct violation of many of the rules and conditions of her employment. As well her boyfriend with proof in hand kicked her out of his home.

Last I heard she moved farther north and hasn’t held down a solid job since. Her family didn’t want much to do with her once everything came out with her cheating on her boyfriend. Also the part about fooling around with a 17 year old tends not to sit well. In the end I started my new job without fail and moved on from that place. Haven’t see much of anyone from there since.

Tl;dr: Manager makes my life hell, continues to hang out and fool around with underage crew members, lives to regret it. Enjoy losing your job and your boyfriend.

(source) story by (/u/Ike09161995)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #344

“my whole existence is flawed”

Have you ever thought about becoming a crime scene investigator? No. Do you think you could win on Jeopardy? Not at all. What do you normally call your mother? (mommy, mom, mother, mum, etc.) Usually "Mom" or "Ma," sometimes "Mama." Does your significant other complain about the way you dress? I'm single, but I would never tolerate an s/o who complained about/told me how to dress. Like bye, fuck you. Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? Are you right now? No, thankfully. What would you do if a stranger smacked your ass and whistled? They're getting fucking punched. In the face. Do you know anyone who has died from cancer? Multiple people. Ever have to call the cops on someone? Not me personally, but my sister did while I was in the car with her due to a clearly drunk as fuck driver. Are you comfortable enough around your friends to change in front of them? Hell no, I avoid changing even in front of my mother. Have you ever dated someone in secret? Dated, no. But Joel and I were a secret. What’s something you really want right now, be honest? What I really want right now is a job. What are you listening to right now? A slowed-down with reverb version of "Closer" by In This Moment. It's p hot. Do you still have your tonsils? Yes. What confuses you most? Why terrible things can happen to the most undeserving of people. Have you ever been called a bad influence? Yes. Not like she was a good one whatsoever. What's the weirdest compliment you've ever received? I don't know, really. Have you ever thought you could 'save' someone? No. It's funny, apparently Jason thought I could "save" him, and would'ja look at that, he scarred me for life. Do you prefer weed or cigs? I've never smoked either, but at least weed has benefits, so. What do your parents say about smoking? Well, my dad smokes like a chimney, but he does tell my sisters and me to absolutely never start it. Mom is very firm about us not smoking. She'd probably be heartbroken if any of us started. Do like kissing with tongue or without? I mean, that depends on the mood as well as how serious we are. What show is hilarious to you? That '70s Show absolutely cracks me up. Who last made you upset? My Dad and stepmom, ranting about how the Covid vaccine is being forced on us and is dangerous. I'm very much for it and am getting it myself soon, so I was just like... shut the fuck up. I just kept my lips zipped, but by god did I want to say something. Does he/she usually upset you? I sometimes regret having my stepmom on Facebook because of her shitty political views, but she in general doesn't upset me. I love her, really. Dad doesn't upset me, really. What would your parents do if you got a tattoo? They don't care, especially knowing how much I love them. What is your favorite musical? None. Do you have any interest in visiting Japan? Yeah, though I don't think it's something I'd go out of my way to do. If I had the opportunity though, I'd surely go. I would love to take photos there, and it's this odd desire of mine to visit Aokigahara Forest and just walk along the "safe" paths and just... feel it. I don't want to find any bodies because I think that would shatter me, I just want to allow myself to like, drown in empathy for all those that left their lives in those trees. I feel like I'd cry a LOT, because I'd prefer to do it alone and just talk to whoever may be able to hear from wherever they are now, and just let them know they're not forgotten or abandoned and that they were never alone. This is honestly getting me really emotional so I'm moving onto the next question. But in summary, I feel like it could honestly be a life-changing experience. What is your favorite Japanese name? I like A LOT of Japanese names I've heard, but they're all evading me now. Do you ever listen to Jpop? No. Who do you go to for advice? Mom or Sara. Have you ever ran a cash register? Yeah, when I worked at the dollar store. Have you ever worked as a server? No. Did you collect Bratz dolls when you were younger? I didn't collect them, no, but I shared a few with my sister. Do you think your mom is attractive? I think my mom's beautiful. Her smile especially puts gold to shame. She actually kinda broke down the other day because she thought she was ugly, and it just broke my damn heart. Do you like the feeling in your stomach on a big drop on a roller coaster? I've never been on a roller coaster and don't plan to try one, but I reeeaaally don't like that feeling in any situation. What is your most severe allergy? Pollen. How and when were you baptized, if applicable? I was baptized as a baby the traditional Catholic way. Would you rather paint or carve a pumpkin? I think carving is more fun. Have you ever walked through a haunted house? One that was part of a Halloween attraction, yeah. What computer game did you used to play all the time? I played lots as a kid, but my favorite had to be I Spy: Spooky Mansion. My lil sis and I were obsessed. How do you feel about Motorhead? I don't love them, but I do enjoy some of their songs. I never thought Lemmy was that great of a vocalist, but I respect him as an artist and hope he rests in peace. What’s the weirdest way you’ve ever pulled a muscle? *shrugs* What’s your favorite symbol? (i.e. the pentagram, the cross, etc.) If we're talking only real-world symbols and not ones that only exist in fantasy media, I actually think the Satanic (no, not inverted) cross is a cool design. It has nothing to do with my stance on Satanism, I just think it's an appealing look. What methods are most effective for you when you’re trying to relax? If I REALLY need relaxation, just leave me alone and let my put on earplugs and just like, disappear from the real world for a bit. Would you rather date your opposite, your ‘twin’, or someone in between? Someone in-between, I think. More similar to me though would be preferred versus someone that's my opposite. How many videos do you have favorited on your YouTube account? I think I'm actually at the max? I think they just get replaced with newer ones by now. Do you know anyone who has carpal tunnel syndrome? Me, actually. My older sister does, too, and actually had surgery for it. Which do you prefer: M&M’s, Skittles, or Reese’s Pieces? Reese's Pieces, but I love all three. If you could be the sidekick of a superhero which superhero would you pick? If I was Spiderman's sidekick, could I throw webs and zing around like a monkey too? ;_; I think being Batman's sidekick would be pretty cool too, seeing as to my knowledge he's more about stealth, which would be fun to go along with. Do you think that you could ever win a food eating contest? No fucking way. They gross me the hell out. What is your favorite thing about the country you live in? How much freedom we have here. Although, it can definitely be abused, and some people do abuse it... Have you ever snuck somebody into your house? No. Have you ever snuck into somebody else’s house? No. Honestly, have you ever thrown garbage out of the window of a car? No, and you fucking repulse me if you do. It is not that challenging to hold onto your shit until you get out of the car and find a trashcan. Honestly, have you ever stuck gum under a table or desk? No, that shit is disgusting. Just get your lazy ass up and spit it out. Which would you find more menacing: dinosaurs or dragons? Well, considering dragons can, you know, breathe fire... Can you name three different kinds of dinosaurs? Spinosaurus, allosaurus, stegosaurus. What’s the name of the last person you kissed? Sara. Is your heart broken at the moment? Nah. Who’s the last guy you argued with? I don't know. I avoid arguing with guys to the absolute best of my ability because I'm terrified of making them mad. What about the last girl? My mom. Would you marry the last person you kissed? Not at this current time, but later down the road of us both building ourselves up, I possibly would. Who’s the last person that asked you out? Girt. Out of all of your exes, who treated you the best? Sara. Who is the person you have hurt the most? My damn self. Who is the person that has hurt you the most? Jason. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? It feels like it sometimes, but when it really comes down to it, no, I don't. Who was the last baby you held? My niece Emerson. Who’s the last guy to give you roses? Tyler. Did your parents do drugs when they were younger? My dad did quite a lot before us kids were born, apparently. I can guess pretty damn easily that Mom made him cut that shit out before having my sisters and me. Mom, to my knowledge, has never tried anything at all. Do you still talk to the person you lost your virginity to? No. Did you cry at your high school graduation? I remember I teared up slightly. What was the last non-papery substance you drew on? I have no idea. Do you ever name objects? (i.e. mp3 players, guitars, cars, etc.) No. What do you beat yourself up about the most? I'm 25 fucking years old and have never had a stable job or just felt "adult" in general. Which has hurt you more: friendship break-ups or bf/gf break-ups? The breakup with Jason, who was my boyfriend, so. What’s the most terrifying thing you’ve ever done? Gone to a mental hospital. The first time was so, so scary. What’s the highest fever you’ve ever had? I don't know. Have you ever been to the ER? Many times. Have you ever been mistreated by a cop? No. Have you ever experimented with any sort of witchcraft? No. Which animals are you afraid of? Some bugs and spiders, and whale sharks are a phobia of mine. I also find giant squid to be terrifying, but also very intriguing. Oh yeah, then there's my extreme aversion to maggots and similar larvae. Did you pray to God when you were a child? Usually. Mom raised us to, but some nights I slacked with it and just wanted to sleep. What is your favorite flavor of frosting? Maaan, don't make me choose. What color is your skin naturally? Very pale. Do you own a pocketknife, or any other kind of multi-tool? No. What was the last thing you took a video of? I have no idea. I have no recordings on my phone, so. Have you ever been somewhere where you didn’t fluently speak the local language? No. Have you ever had famous neighbors? No. Do you have any medication that you keep with you at all times? Yeah, one of my anxiety meds. What are some things a house would need to have for you to purchase it? Besides the very obvious, mine has to have a dishwasher. I. HATE. Washing dishes by hand. Do you own a pet spider? No, but I DESPERATELY want some tarantulas. :( I've tried convincing her, but Mom's very adamant about the fact I will NOT own one so long as I live with her. I also love jumping spiders and attempted to convince her about one of those versus a tarantula, but still, answer's a firm no, haha. Do you call your animals “baby names”? Well duh. Have you ever been stood up? No. Do you own a fishtank? No. Do you like the song “Barbie Girl”? God no. I'll sing it jokingly, though, because y'know, childhood and all. Do you own a feather boa? No. We did at one point, though. A hot pink one. Are you allergic to peanuts? No. Do you wear ribbons in your hair? No, my hair's too short for that. I never did, though. Do you use cheat codes on video games? I generally only use codes that you can actually earn in the game for like, new outfits or weapons in subsequent playthroughs. I won't use the kinds of codes that make you invulnerable and stuff, but rather just fun little cosmetics and such. Have you ever gone mudding on a fourwheeler? Ugh, no. I don't like getting dirty, so that is NOT my kind of fun. What is your favorite flavor Jolly Rancher? Watermelon. Have you ever played Dance Dance Revolution? Of course! We had the dance mat as kids and loved to play the games. What is the last thing you dropped? I don't really remember. Have you ever done the “Cupid Shuffle?” Yeah, at school dances and such. Do you know how to do the Soulja Boy dance? Haha omg, I did as a kid. My friend, sister, and I all learned it. How long has it been since you’ve eaten a Reese’s? My mom actually got me a Reese's egg for Easter, so not long ago at all.

[lovemesomesurveys]

[yoliebloop]

where was your last kiss? I think it was in his car. It was like 8 years ago, so my memory is a little foggy.

have you ever had that person hold you? Yes.

when was your last piercing? When I got my ears pierced as a baby.

Last kiss, when was it? Like I said, it was like 8 years ago.

Do you ever look at yourself and get angry? Yes. I’m really upset, disappointed, and disgusted with myself to be honest.

are you hiding something from the one you love? Nothing major.

can you tell the difference between coke and pepsi? I definitely can and Coke is better.

do you prefer weed or cig? I’ve smoked weed and at least there’s benefits to it, but I have no desire to ever smoke a cigarette.

what do your parents say about smoking? They support weed being legal because of the medicinal benefits, but as for cigarettes there’s no good from that.

do like kissing with tongue or without? I don’t mind a little tongue.

what's your favorite body spray? I don’t have one currently. It’s been awhile since I’ve used any body spray.

clear lip gloss or tinted? Tinted.

what show is hilarious to you? Hmm.

what's the worst thing about sex? I’m a virgin so I wouldn’t know.

have you ever thought you were pregnant? Nope.

when you were young did the word sex bother you? No.

what did your first crush look like? I vaguely remember now cause I was like 9 years old, but I’m pretty sure he had brown eyes and short brown hair.

is your body more curvy or flat? Flat.

current mood? Sick and tired of being sick and tired.

what kind of girls piss you off? People who are assholes in general piss me off. <<<

is ice cream in winter weird to eat? Nah. I drink hot coffee year round, which some people think I’m crazy for during the summer, so who am I to judge.

what's your least favorite holiday? Valentine’s Day.

if you’re having a boring day what do you usually do? I do the same things everyday.

do you turn to food when your upset? No.

is your bf/gf good with your parents? I’m single.

does chewing with someone's mouth open make your angry? Maaaaaaajor pet peeve.

what's something you hate about people? Closed-mindedness and people who are very judgmental and rude.

are you jealous of other girls? No. I am envious of some, though, like of their hair, looks, or body type. 

who last made you upset? I don’t recall who, but I’ve just been so frustrated, irritated, and upset with my health and how I’m feeling, as well as where I’m at in my life. I’m just so exhausted and don’t want to feel this way anymore.

does he/she usually upset you? I get upset about that stuff a lot.

who's more strict mom or dad? My parents aren’t strict, but my dad is definitely more overprotective.   what feature do you find pretty about yourself? Nothing.

I hate stuck up girls, do you? I dislike anyone who is stuck-up. <<<

do any of your friends have a nasty ego? I don’t have any friends, but I wouldn’t want a friend like that.

which smile face do you prefer? :)

does playboy make you sick? It’s not something I’ve had an interest in.

would you ever kiss a girl? No.

what about date, would you date a girl? No.

are blondes that hot? Some are, but I don’t think someone is hot just because they’re blonde.

can you remember your 4th grade teacher? Yes, he’s my favorite teacher.

what grade are you currently in? I’m done with school.

what do you usually buy/pack for lunch? --

do you think soda should be served at school? I was so upset that they removed the soda machines the year I got to high school haha. I thought it was cool to be able to get that at school.

why do you think farting is so gross to guys? I didn’t think guys typically found farting to be disgusting.

is burping gross? If you’re being loud and obnoxious about it.

do you stink right now? I just my smell my laundry detergent on my clothes.

ever watched YouTube makeup tutorials? Yeah.

are butterflies the cutest bug? Um, “cute” and “bug” don’t belong together in the same sentence unless you’re saying, “bugs aren’t cute.”

what tattoo would you get if you HAD to get one now? I’ve wanted to get “free bird” for several years.

are snakebites sexy? or over talked about? I used to think so back in my emo days.

last thing you drank? Water.

Favorite kind of gum? Minty kind only.

last song you heard? I don’t remember.

what are some of the lyrics? --

do you like M&M or Lil Wayne more? I like Eminem more. M&M, ha.

what do you think of hilter? Uh, he was a vile, evil piece of shit?

do dogs have feelings? They absolutely do.

are you afraid of snakes? YES.

favorite snack? I like to have cookies, muffins, donuts, brownies, cupcakes or Little Debbie snacks with coffee.

is Kool-Aid beautiful to you? Uh, I’ve never thought of it as being beautiful.

can you remember the last time you cried? Last night.

cocoa or coffee? Coffee, always.

7 forever or 51 forever? 51 forever.

ever seen the notebook? Nope.

"The Hills" do you think there acting or its real drama? Of course there’s acting involved. They hype things up and set things up to make certain things happen. 

ever got in a fist fight? Nope.

ever get a boob job? No.

what’s your biggest flaw? I have so many to choose from.

i hate when people say "i luv u" or "ily" do you? Not a fan either, personally.

do you think cussing is trashy? I don’t like when it’s done excessively.

all time favorite band? Linkin Park.

thongs are butt dental floss. ...

rather have your guy wear tightie whities or thong? How about boxers.

your thoughts on speedo's, i think it should be speed-NO's! I don’t care.

do you think chest hair is hot? (ew) No.

what about nipple hair (lol)? No. omg what would you do if your bestfriend had nipple hair, would u tell her? Uh, I wouldn’t know if they did and that’s not of my concern. Like why would I care? Also, I’m sure she’d be aware of it.

are popping zits fun? I don’t think it’s fun, but I do it. I have an awful picking habit.

is acne gross to you? Yes, it’s not a pleasant thing to have. 

can you count to 7,800,900,1. backwards? I would never even try.

anything bugging you? My head.

do you enjoy sneezing? No.

do you feel bad for bugs? always being killed cause they look weird:( No.

zebra print, do you like it? Nah.

belly ring or lip? Neither.

do you like septums? No.

what would your parents do if you got a tattoo? They wouldn’t care, but they’d be shocked if I actually got one cause they know how big of a baby I am, ha.

what about getting pregnant? They’d definitely be shocked to say the least about that.

are you on birth control? No, I don’t have a reason to be.

[stimmypaw]

stimmypaw reads the apprentice’s quest, a blog post

A big one, just a bunch of thoughts as I’m reading it, of course, lots of spoilers for the first book in the Warrior Cats series A Vision of Shadows. This will be covering just the first book tho, it’s all in the Read More, let’s gooooooo!!!!

Vision Of Shadows time

Lots of new cats!!! I don't remember these guys as kits or anything wrow!!! I like their names but itll take a while to get used to them

Also cant believe they printed stormcloud's dead name

Omg there's a cat named beepaw

I love these cats all of them so much im going 2 cry

All new names are perfect

I FORGOT HOW GORGEOUS THE CAT VIEW IN THE RECENT BOOKS WAS, LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT

I'm glad leafpool smokes weed

I love reading from Jayfeather's point of view, his grumpiness hasn't grown on me ever but thats just me, I still enjoy it lots he's great and its fun

Firestar and Leopardstar's characterizations are On Point i love it

OOF i feel so bad when jayfeather is mean to others, poor kestrelflight, I love those two

Lovely Jayfeather moments now its time for the first chapter

I like this duo! Also I didn't think I'd ever say this but shut up squirrelflight one can have fun AND learn with their mentors

Sparkkit sounds nice she makes jingling bell noises when she walks around

Alderkit is chadphobic /j

I can see Alderkit taking deep breaths to relax its rotating in my mind its beautiful

God this first chapter feels so good and comfortable, like eating noodles and chicken nuggets. I am so so deeply in love with it, its gorgeous!

Sparkkit is so perfect too, and Graystripe remembering Firestar aaaaaa

DUSTPELT SAID WHAT? PHDHAHAHHA OH NOOOO I don't remember their relationship much, must have been fun, I love young little creature squirrelflight I MISSED HER SO BAD WOW

I started reading the second chapter and died, I think ill take a break now 2 sleep heehhee

I love them describing twoleg stuff its always so fun and alien, like watching an animal planet show about funny sea creatures.

Also I have determined sparkpaw is my favorite, might be my favorite cat ever next to hollyleaf??? I really identify with her and also she's autistic i have decided that

Alderpaw baby noooo hhhh their mentor at least is trying to show its okay, he seems very emotionally distant so far and alderheart feels very emotionally needy, actually both of them do, did I mention I love Sparkpaw??? I might be imprinting myself 2 much on her

I love how like, its clear both of them are absolutely anxious and worried about others opinions on them, which is clearly something they got from being Firestar's grandkids, deputy kids and leader kids. And bramblestar too, I recall him being quite the anxious lad ahhah. Sparkpaw will be showing confidence and being loud but the second anyone isn't approving of her or she does something "wrong" she gets small and quiet, and she ended up setting a high bar for herself by being good at hunting and fighting so I'm curious to see how that will go. Also there's nothing wrong with being guided through a crowded place to meet others Sparkpaw!!! I bet the two of them would be stuck without not knowing how to talk to others had Needlepaw not shown up. I love them, my gf is mocking me saying I'm a Sparkpaw kinnie.

Apprentices will like learn about a thing and tell everyone about it all the time and assume its always true in every situation and thats valid I love kids like that. Also in my head Needlepaw kinda looks like a porcupine. Oh boo she's fatphobic >:(

I love apprentices they are so fun and silly, just making fun of the leaders like its nothing. The way they are clearly learning and absorving everything their warriors say and do like sponges its just ***chefs kiss***

Omg shadowclan is just full of 12 year olds help

And then the old person said "it sure is hard being old!" And everyone clapped

Shout-out to pretty Riverclan apprentice #481977 I love her

Leafpool: 👁👁

Alderpaw: I knew it im cursed and awful and terrible and I will never amount to anything

I wish the cats didn't seem to be giving up on him so easily though

Ah yes the classic thunderclan move "you suck, into the medicine hole you go"

The way sparkpaw changes the things she says and how she does when it isn't the status quo around her oooooooooooooyeaaaaaaa I love 1 autistic cat

Alderpaw considering your problems lesser than other cats won't help you deal with them better bro

I love Needlepaw's excitement about Alderpaw being a medicine cat apprentice, and her sarcasm, she feels like a preppy teenager

Ahhh this is so good, I am so thirsty for family moments like this, just Alderpaw bonding with grandma, I’ll definitely want to draw this one it’s so sweet.

Oh to be young and silly.

I really am enjoying like, Alderpaw’s struggles to seeing how he fits in the clan, how he fits in himself, how he wants to be seen and what he wants to be, it’s really good. I Am Engaged(tm) With This Plot.

SPARKPAW NOOOOOOO but also Yes I want her to be shown vulnerable and weak please 

POP, god watching this stuff always awful, the cats must have thought he broke her ahahah

Also, really great that they learned from Dovewing and now like leave choices and discussions about prophecies between adults

And plus Brambles seemed to take the time to explain stuff to him, seems he wont be going alone either the 1 thing is that he will be the only one knowing what the journey is really about, why though??? I didnt read Firestar's Quest or whatever why does Skyclan need to be secret??? Seems quite silly really!

YESSSS SANDSTORM GET HIS ASS FIGHT FIGHT LOVE THIS LOVE SANDSTORM

I could feel squirrelflight nearing explosion here, this was very fun, i wish they werent hiding this though!!!

The secret thing is showing to be a plot point so I am once again Very Engaged

Also, wonderful dialogue bit, someone asked Bramblestar why an Elder is going and:

Lovely perfect perfect

I miss you dovewing

SQUIRRELFLIGHT LOVE YOU

Oh boy this is it

Traveling book moment

Graystripe: Soooo you're excited to go on the journey to the old territories and Skyclan?

Sandstorm: Yes! It's been ages and-

Graystripe: I'm sure the tribe will love the visit too

Sandstorm, groaning: Oh noooo I forgot about how the tribe is in the way of every journeyyyyy noooooo they're such a racist caricature, please tell me you have a plan

Graystripe: Yes don't worry about it the writers forgot about the tribe in my comic book so you can just use the excuses i did to actively avoid it

Sandstorm: Oh thank Starclan

Sparkpaw's desperation to prove herself oof, her anxiety with understanding the prophecy, oh boy, and Alderpaw feeling too overwhelmed by the questions and not managing to talk!!!! I am so glad they are both autistic

Hoping "Being Leader" wont mean theyre putting nonsense responsibility on the apprentice again

Ah good Sandstorm is on the lead again, as she should, she should have been leader she would have been great

I can't believe Alderpaw thinks I look stupid and diseased :( /j

Everything about this twoleg scene was scandalous I loved it, Sparkpaw just toppled over a trash bag and they are eating from it, iconic, also did those twolegs throw out a whole turkey? Damn

Its not that Sparkpaw is freakishly good at hunting she is very hungry and constantly on the watch for things to eat

BRO Ive never been in a road where the drivers are this wild, throwing bottles out of the car????? Ive seen Fruit being thrown like once or twice, what the fuck!!! I'm glad they are going to wait until the morning to continue

Okay I was not expecting Needlepaw to show up this girl is chaotic I love her

ACTUALLY YEAH WHY DIDNT THEY TELL THE OTHER CLANS ABOUT THIS SINCE THE PROPHECY IS ABOUT ALL THE CLANS???

Needlepaw is like Rono from Bambi 2 if he wasnt a mean bully and thats very epic

Very curious character though, how come her mentor isnt teaching her the warrior code properly? Is that an issue with all apprentices?? Is the clan overwhelmed by 12 year olds and they won?

Having lots of fun trying to play the game "what animal are they describing this time" the erins made here, im glad they're in a farm. Worried about Sandstorm though :c

Fuck im worried about sandstorm a lot, her wound hurt on Me

Yeah water is good youre right sandstorm

Aw man I hope she's okay let her at least survive to meet skyclan please

NOOOOOOOO SANDSTORMA A AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Sandtteooonrjrbbbmmnnnnnnnnnn

I am so sad

Alderpaw denying it, Starclan shining upon their vigil, everything crushed me i cried

Alderpaw considers Nihilism

Haven't seen a cat thank starclan for prey in a while its

Oh look they time skipped a journey! They don't tend to do that thats nice

I'm so excited to be meeting The Skyclan that everyone in the fandom knows now

So far they seem kinda mean but thats most clans at first glance really

Okay somethings up

I uh have heard of Darktail pretty sure he's a bad guy so yeah something really bad happened to Skyclan

Am worried

Darktail sounds like an evil himbo* i may be enjoying him actually

*himbos are usually nice by default so he's just evil and stupid and strong

Does needletail know these cats already?????

Ah

Shit

Oh okay fuck

I've been quietly reading the rest because I am just concerned and I want them to be okay as quickly as possible

Waterfalls are a classic nice

Oh boy time for our unlikely duo of Alderpaw and Needlepaw to get out of a Mess!

I did not expect this to end up with the two of them journeying into parenthood, but I'm happy it did

Well actually I'm very unhappy theyre so lost and there's no sign of Skyclan I am very worried for everyone involved Sparkpaw must be feeling awful!

Twigkit is a great name

Yeah this ended terribly

Overall! Frigging loved it this book was GOOD and a great start for the series I am very excited to read the rest, SO WORRIED ABOUT SKYCLAN THO AAAA the characterizations were great the characters were great the pacing was fun and I didn't get bored once!

I think o only wish I had read this sooner really so I could look up others thoughts without getting heavily spoiled about the last books, I can watch a few videos already though thats a start ahhaha. But yeah it was great and it felt very good to read, haven't swallowed up a book so quickly in a very long time!!! Very happy I finally got my hands on this 💕💖💕💖💕💖 cant wait 2 start the next one

If you read all this, hope you had fun hahaha, ill be making more of these cus theyre fun and I like talking about warrior cats thats just my thing

Til next time

[nigelspookerjee]

CRY💀 Thoughts💜

“Current assignment? What assignment?!” Nancy, you’re jinxing yourself already

I still remember the first time I played this game and that feeling I got when the warning comes up on the screen before everything begins. Sp00py nostalgia vibes 👻

Ned: “Hey Henry, I’m worried about you, but not worried enough to get off my ass and check on you myself. Imma send my gf instead and then bitch at her a few games later about how I never get to go anywhere.”

Not even in the house two seconds and I’m already getting attacked. Renée and Henry are the worst hostesses ever and this vacation already blows.

Nancy, you are taking a drink from someone you don’t even know; it could literally be poisonous. But go ahead, chug it anyways

Actually, if Renée just poisoned Nancy now, it would have saved her a lot of trouble in the end. Game over. Roll credits!

Henry: “maybe I should call THEM and leave THEM on hold and see how THEY like it.” Me when I’m on the phone with any customer service representative from any company ever.

Henry definitely wore eyeliner, had an emo swoop, and listened to “Ohio is for Lovers” on repeat in his angsty teenage years. But I’m not judging because honestly...same

But Henry is hot af. Broody definitely works so fucking well for him

Henry: “I come across as a little needy sometimes.” Be needy to me, Henry. Be my stage five clinger. I don’t care. Suffocate me with your broody love.

“My parents died in a car crash when I was eight.” Nancy *thinking to herself*: “damn, I didn’t even get the chance to ask him what happened to his mother.”

Henry: “no offense but are you sure you didn’t just pass out from the heat and humidity and dream that you saw this skeleton dude?” No, but in a few games further down the line, I will hallucinate seeing a ghost due to carbon monoxide poisoning. Hahahaha forshadow af.

“What was in that concoction you gave me?” You are supposed to ask this before you take a drink from a stranger, Nancy.

I. HATE. SPIDERS. ANIMATED OR NOT.

I love this game so much. The setting, the atmosphere, music, characters, storyline, puzzles, EVERYTHING.

“Finding Fish by Bill Kessler” OF COURSE BILL AND HIS NORTHERN PIKE POPS UP ONCE MORE TO HAUNT ME *eye twitches ever so slightly*

Henry: “Do you always go digging in other peoples’ fire places?” Actually, yeah. That’s how I found out some poor sap of a homeless handyman was living in the basement of the house he was renovating lol

Bruno and the Bolet family as a whole are so fascinating and I must learn everything about them

Nancy just ate a whole bunch of candy from Renée’s stash and then proceeded to vomit all over her bedroom floor. *places newspaper on top of puke and slowly backs out of the room, whispering to herself*: “I was never here...”

Ned: “it’s about time you called!” “Call again, like soon.” Um, I listen to no one or no thing, u controlling piece of cardboard

Ugh, I love Bess so much. She’s such a precious, innocent bean.

Bess is the friend who gave into peer pressure in high school: “you wanna underage drink and smoke some weed?” “Absolutely, unequivocally no.” “Come on, it’ll be fun!” “Ahhhh...okay!!”

Lamont’s Lament: Part 1

*grits teeth* these motherfucking wasps around this mother fucking tree

Henry: “Don’t worry, we got plenty of food here, beds-“ CAN I SLEEP IN UR BED? I’LL BE THE BIG SPOON!

HOTCHKISS IS BACK. SWEET AS THE SMELL OF FRIED CHICKEN!

Poor Hotchkiss has early on-set Alzheimer’s and Nancy is shaming her for it

“Sorry ‘bout your loss.” “...my loss?” Nancy, you got so annoyed that Hotchkiss couldn’t remember your name, but you can’t even remember what you said just a minute ago..pot meet kettle¿

Yeah, scurry the fuck out of my way, you hairy eight-legged motherfucker and give me my damn key before I squash you with the bottom of my shoe run away screaming like a lil bitch

Great, time to talk to creepy Gilbert and cringe as he openly hits on a girl at least 30 years younger than him. There is no May-December romance going on here, buddy.

Thanks for the gumbo, Shorty, but it does not make up for the fact you attempted to murder my best friend. And no, she has not picked those vegetables for you yet

Okay, I just laughed my ass off. After eating spicy gumbo, Bess burped out fire. I had no idea she was a dragon

I played this goddamn skeeball machine so many times. The things I do for eyeballs and Easter Eggs.

Summer, Summer, Summer. Smh. Now I ain’t sayin she a gold digger...

Henry: “I bought her a bunch of CDs to keep her occupied while I was gone.” Yeah...Summer is just gonna sit in her room, listening to the CDs you bought for her on a loop, just waiting for you to get back...

YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN SUMMER. YOU DESERVE ME.

I love Iggy so much. Dressing him up is adorable af

🎶 Bernie with a tooth so sweet. Likes marshmallows but it’s you he’d love to eat🎶 (I sang this to the tune of Brigitte’s Ballad)

Renée: “oh my, I forgot to warn you about Bernie, didn’t I?” *grins evilly* Could you contain your excitement that I was almost devoured by a crocodile until I fucking walk away?

I actually like the cemetery scavenger hunt, a lot

I love how Iggy just huffs and dips the fuck out when you dress him up as a clown. “You get nothing for this. I ain’t coming back with anything. WHO’S THE CLOWN NOW?”

Lamont’s Lament: Part 2

I seriously feel for Lamont. All he wants to do is run his curio shop in peace, and here comes this blonde twister wreaking havoc all over his night

Someone give Bess a Xanax. Poor girl is gonna have a panic attack with all of the stuff Nancy is asking her to do

Infiltrating the Jolly Rogers meeting is definitely my favorite sequence in this game

Y WOULD U CALL ME WHEN U KNOW I’M AT THE MEETING UNDERCOVER, NANCY? Thx for almost killing me, ur bff xoxo

Yup, just toss the priceless skull up to Renée like it’s a freakin’ football. You are not on the same team here, Nan.

Bernie the Immortal crocodile. Who would have thought at the beginning of the game, we’d end up with this resolution.

Hahaha of course, Lamont is out in the swamp looking for Bernie. If anyone in this game deserves the skull, it’s deff him anyways.

One of my favorite games, ever. So happy I replayed it🖤

[magical-agatha]

0,1,3,4,7,8,9,10,13,15,19,21,25,27,33,36,39,44 for the nosey asks :)

0. Height: im 6'5 :O1. Virgin: yeah but not for much longer. gonna get rawed by my gf in a month or so :33. Do you smoke: ive tried a cigarette once, and smoked weed twice, and i actually used to enjoy the smell of cigarettes but now they make me want to puke.4. Do you drink: not in a while. i was developing an addiction so i have to avoid that stuff as much as i can.7. Have tattoos: no but i want a tonne.8. Want tattoos: yes very much. gonna get some dumb nonsense on my body permanently. a popuko on my butt, a heart on my right nip and a star on my left, a big L in gothic script on the back of my left hand, maybe 'L E F T' on the knuckles? idk. i want a tat of miku, like a MOM sailor tat but blue-green and it says CV-01 or MIKU. other stuff probably. i might get my right schlera tattooed bc that eye is useless so i might as well make it decorative. oh and a vriska tattoo on my back. because its very silly and a huge mistake.9. Got piercings: my lobes and top of my right ear.10. Want piercings: yes aaaa.. septum, right nipple, uhhhh.... lip probably. tempted to get my hen pierced lol. probably wont do that tho :p13. Biggest turn ons: well for starters i need a sincere emotional connection to be attracted to someone. otherwise uhhh... werewolves, hot girls with big dicks, butt stuff, cum, butts, sucking boobs, subbing and getting called a good girl. also denial is fun. so is prostate milking bc that makes you cum a tonne!15. Favourite movie: uhhhhhhhhhhhh..... hard to pin down. howls moving castle lately. or ponyo. hmm..19. A fact about your personality: uhhh... i want to be a cool robot girl and/or a slime girl21. What i most love about myself: hhhh.. i love my hair and my eyes and my hen and sometimes i like my voice and i like that i can write interesting and unique stuff. 25. Perfect date: uhhh.. any time spent with my gf @nukealyptus qualifies as perfect imo.27. A description of a person i like: the person reading this. you know who you are and how great you are.33. What words make me feel best about myself: i feel good when i share something i made and people like it.36. Where id like to live: with my gf in the city or near the city. in a biiiiiig house or warehouse39. My fave ice cream flavour: green tea, hazelnut, pistachio, and uhhhh.. mint44. A random fact about anything: hatsune miku is my mom. this is a fact.

[szopenhauer]

Would you consider yourself a good flirt?

What do you like better about yourself: your boobs or butt? neither?

Have you ever been homeless? not yet :x

Have you ever been to a palm reader? If so, what did they say? nah, I can learn myself

What’s your bra size? *shrug*

Is there anybody that you’re glad that they aren’t in your lives anymore? could say so

Has anybody ever fought somebody for you? verbally

What color do you wear most often? not sure

Are you more likely to take the blame, or blame somebody else? I blame myself even when I blame somebody else lol

Do you like your hair? wouldn’t say so

Do you find it irritating when people don’t trust you? why would they trust me or anybody actually?

Would you consider yourself a busy person? as for a person who doesn’t do anything in particular...

Do you hate your phone? sometimes it annoys me but it’s fine

What was the reason for your last hospital visit? I’ve been to ER because of allergy

Have you ever driven while under the influence? I don’t drive nor drink so...

Describe the earrings you’re wearing, if any. my ears aren’t pierced but if they were I would wear tiny hoops or some weird shit like this spider I bought for John and never gave her

Do you know anybody who is studying abroad? used to know some ppl who did

How well can you swim? I can’t

What aren’t you going to miss about summer? mosquitos

Have you ever been kayaking before? no and don’t wanna

Do you ever wish you could go back in time? it’s complicated

Can you reach your back with your arms? not some parts

What is your zodiac sign? Aquarius is my sun sign but Capricorn is my dominant sign

Have you ever played Pac-Man? I don’t recall

What is something that you lack? where should I start...

Have you ever been told that you have a nice boobs? my gf likes them 

When’s the last time you ate a Tic-Tac? ages ago and don’t miss them, completele forgot they exist

Do you own any knick knacks? shitload

Have you ever said that something is “whack”? doubt it

When’s the last time you felt attacked? today

Do you crack your knuckles? Any other parts of your body? omg no, I hate it!

What’s the last thing you had to make a stack of? pile of clothes?

Is it hard for you to keep track of things? hmm...

What’s the last thing you accidentally whacked a body part on? not sure what part of my body I banged last

What does your most recent backpack look like? recently used or bought?

Have you ever crawled through a window? I think so

Is there anything in your past that you’d like to try again? sigh...

Who was the last person to come to your house? Gosia visited me yesterday to pee XD

Do you like winter time? nooooo

Who do you not get along with? majority of society

Have you ever been around someone who was high? yup

Do you like where you live? meh

Are you a jealous person? might be

Do you wish someone would call you? absolutely not, I dread phonecalls, unless hospital then only if they have good news

Wouldn’t it be cool to be able to read minds? not all the time like Buffy had because I would go crazy

Do people ever spell your name wrong? they spell and write my surname wrong and sometimes they use different names than I have like Zosia or Kamila wtf

Is there anyone you want to fix things with? ...

Why do you do these surveys? why not? it’s fun

Where did you last go outside you’re house? second hand and local food store to buy bread

What is the point of violence? depends

Do you like horror movies better or comedy? black comedy :P

You could move somewhere else, would you? yes

Do you like calling or texting better? texting

Night out or night in? in

Do you sleep on your side, stomach, or back? definitely not on my back

Whens the next time you will see the person you like? we planned to meet today but we’ll see

How do you look right now? not as bad as I feel

What do you think of when you hear the word “meow”? my gf 

where do you see yourself in 5 years? dead

who is the first guy that pops in your head? my father

have you ever read the book “the perks of being a wallflower”? watched a movie, it was nice

do you get dessert normally while out to eat? nope

have you ever let a door slam on someones face on purpose? whaaaat?!

who was your first kiss? my current partner

is there somewhere you’re meant to be right now? not really, nah

name one childhood memory. personal

where is your childhood best friend now? dunno

have you moved in the past 2 years? I never moved in my entire life

how many rooms are in your house? 3

can you see anything red at this moment? hand mirror

do you look at the keyboard when you type? when I start typing 

have you ever dated someone to get someone else jealous? umm...

have you ever been used; and then tossed to the side? more than once

if you look to your left do you see a window? I do indeed

Where do you want to live when you are older?: my own apartment 

When was the last time you were sick?: I’m chronically ill, does that count?

What is the relationship between you and the last person you kissed?: we’re in a relationship

Name something you disliked about the day you had today?: my body is itchy, I have period, my plans got ruined, I’m anxious, it’s cold and my dad isn’t home so I miss him, I regret spending money etc etc etc

Have you had your birthday this year yet?: yeah

Would you ever tell your mom about the things you’ve done sexually?: not in details :x

Who was the last person you talked to last night in person before bed?: parent

Do you have clothes that belong to other people?: I don’t borrow clothes

If you have siblings, which one of you is going to be married first?: my sister is already married 

What would you name your future daughter?: I’m not having children but I have a whole list of my fav names :D

Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a bed?: I have

Angry at anyone?: just a tiny bit

Is there anyone you would do anything for?: not everything but a lot 

Does the last person you held hands with mean something to you?: yep

Is it hard to make you laugh?: to some, it also depends on the moment

Do you think any of your exes will eventually want to be with you again?: pfft

Is it okay to kiss people when you’re single?: *shrug*

Where is the person you last kissed at this moment?: doing her hair

Would you rather pierce your tongue or lip?: lip

Next time you will kiss someone?: today?

Something’s wrong. First person you go to?: parents?

Do you hate it when people smoke around you?: usually, most often

Have you ever broken someone’s heart?: it seems

Ever gotten yourself into a confusing situation?: that’s life

Do you have an attitude?: I guess

Do you know anybody whose last name is a color?: nope

Would you kiss someone to make your ex bf/gf mad?: I’m not single now but if I wasn’t... How was last night?: not good enough

Have you ever dyed your hair?: blue (grey), green, black, red

When someone says “we need to talk,” what runs through your mind?: oh shit oh damn oh fuck I’m screwed what’s going on - so anxious!

Do you know anyone that smokes weed?: used to know

Are your parents still together?: they are

What are you wearing on your feet?: socks and raccoon slippers

Is it awkward when you run into your ex?: would be not only awkward

Who do you blame for your bad mood today?: myself, God, my mom, my gf, maybe even president

Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed?: not yet

Do you remember names or faces better?: neither

Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/ girlfriend drinks?: kinda

Waiting for something?: more than one thing

You find out your ex is having a kid with someone you say?: stupid, gross

When’s the last time you were surprised? positively or negatively?

What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had? water

Your mom finds used condoms in your room, you tell her? -

Do you find smoking unattractive? the smell and taste and the fact it’s unhealthy and expensive habit

If you were granted one wish, what would you wish for? health for all, forever, not saying about injuries but diseases

Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? 100%

Whose bed were you on last? mine duh

When was the last time you changed in front of someone? this day

Last person you kissed, have you cried in front of them? 3 times and counting :x

Do you think the last person you kissed is nice? grrr

Could you go out in public looking like you do now? whatever

Do you believe exes can really ever be “just friends”? there’s a tiny possibility of that

Your ex wants you back? that’s why we’re together

Would you rather love one person or have many short relationships? 1 person

Ever dated someone cute with crappy personality? sadly

Do you want your ex to be happy, even if it means not being with you? I said that

What would happen if you had a baby with the last person you kissed? that would be a miracle as we’re both women

Would you prefer a kiss on the cheek or neck? neck

Would it hurt seeing the person you last kissed kissing someone else? that would be also disgusting

Do you have a member of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? dad

Has the last person you kissed, met your family? she knew my father but yesterday met my mom as well

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? my gf

You’re insanely drunk stumbling through the streets, slurring songs, who are you with? someone who made me drunk and will pay for it 

Do you like to cuddle? when in the mood for that

Do you know anyone who would just drop everything to come see you? not everything unless I was dying or smth

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t do? and I regret that

Is there someone you used to talk to every day that you don’t talk to at all? bunch of ppl

Can you have more than one best friend? yas

Are you starting to realize anything? this question bothers me somehow 

Do you hate it when people mispronounce your name? I’m used to it even tho it doesn’t happen that often

Think back to your most important relationship, was it all your fault it ended? it is still going on 

Do you think blondes are stupid, honestly? that ask, really? 

Can you get over people easily? yes and no

Where did you get the shirt you are wearing? second hand, it was in children’s section, whoops I have no boobs nor weight nor height

So, what do you want for your birthday? Jughead’s hat

If the last person you kissed tried to kiss you again, would you start kissing? obvi

Did you sleep alone last night? I did 

Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is okay? NO

Is there anyone who doesn’t like you because of something you didn’t do? many ppl

Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? I have 

How was your weekend? emotional?

Was your last kiss drunk or sober? sober

Do you think that you’re a good person? am not, I wish I was better

If you could seek revenge on someone would you? I’m not a revengeful person but I laugh when someone I don’t like is punished by life, sorry not sorry?

Do you like your best friend’s boyfriend/​girlfriend?​ my mom or myself? 

Ever been called heartless? smth similar

Can a boy and girl be friends without having feelings for each other? if they’re gay or family members

Are you able to get people to believe you when you are lying? I’m good at lying but I don’t like to lie

How many more minutes until you will next eat? soon Do you have to go to school and/or work today? no job and graduated

Have you read all of the Harry Potter books? not interested

Would you rather no heat in winter or no A/C in the summer? no A/C in the summer is way better

Do you do your own laundry? my mom helps me 

Have you ever read an entire book in one sitting? like twice

Have you ever seen your favorite band live? only Ania Rusowicz 

Do you drink water or soda more often? water, I don’t drink soda at all

Do you like cats?  they’re cool but don’t want to own one

Have you ever kissed someone whose name starts with M? my gf’s name starts with M :)

If forced to be one, would you rather be bulimic or anorexic? excuse me?... anorexic tho as I hate puking

Wasn’t Heath Ledger the best Joker there ever was? Nicholson was and I didn’t watch the last Joker movie yet with Phoenix

If you found out your friend was smoking weed, would you be disappointed? mhm

Do you find that people don’t really understand you? most of them, most of the time

Do you like the ocean? nah

Have you ever done something that you knew was wrong? I’m never sure?

Are you listening to music currently? am not

Do you read and believe your horoscope? for fun ;) but once in a long time

Does the news depress you? that’s why I avoid it

Can you resist temptation? more than most ppl I know

What do/did you normally get detentions for? other’s fault

Does your alarm clock actually awaken you? it didn’t today, my mom’s voice did when she came to inform me my alarm is yapping huehue

Ever think you might have seen a UFO? with my dad

Do you know anyone who DOESN’T have a cell phone? my niece because she’s 2 

Have you bought any CDs recently? too expensive and I have yt and spotify so why would I?

Do you type fast? very, I was best in school :3

How long are you usually in the shower for? half an hour

Do you know anyone who has their eyebrow pierced? I don’t

What was the last movie you watched? again or for the first time?

When is your birthday? 1st Feb

When did you last talk to your brother or sister? day ago

Have you done anything sexual in the past 12 hours? romantic

Did the last person you kiss have a tattoo? she doesn’t have one

Have you ever liked someone older than you? I thought so

What color are your eyes? hazel? Do you enjoy going through a car wash? never been so no idea

Ever called a person useless? I don’t think so Is there someone you wish you were still close with? grandma 

Did the last person you kiss have piercings? ears only

Do you like the snow? hate, only snowmen are nice but not Olaf from Frozen

Does it bother you when someone lies to you? usually, obviously

Was the last person you kissed cute? was

Have you ever been in trouble for something you honestly didn’t do? so many times When you trip, do you get embarrassed or just play it off? embarassed af

Would you consider yourself spoiled? in a way? Let’s test your memory, what color shirt were you wearing during your last kiss? white 

Have you ever kissed two people in one night? noooo

Do you still talk to the person you last kissed? not currently but in general we talk

How long does it take you to fall asleep at night? too long, like 2 hours 

What would your name be with just the first three letters? Zuz - cute

Where did you sleep last night? my own bed 

Who was the last person to be in your bedroom besides you? family member

Does anyone disgust you? some at all times, some during certain situations

What do you tend to drink a lot of? water

[thehalfworld]

Fanfic MST: Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen, a Twilight fanfic [part 8]

And here we are at the end. I hope you’ve all been enjoying the ride, because it’s about to get a whole lot weirder in this, the final chapter.

Warnings this time around: a whole lot of drug use, some underage drinking, DUI but it’s okay because Tiaa is a vampire, bestiality, and an attempted sexual assault. Also did I mention drug use? There’s a lot of drug use.

Recap: Tiaa met a panda bear named Snoofles on her way to school (please don’t think too hard about this) and learned that she can now talk to animals, among other abilities. Thanks to a vague new ability of hers, she accidentally made her mean classmate Lauren get struck by lightning while they were in a verbal spat. Edward finally decided to leave Bella for Tiaa and the two celebrated by having sex in the middle of the school. Bella walked in on them and got upset.

Chapter 1

Previous chapter

hey guys sory its been so long since an update, i hav been so busy latley. sooooo..i had a fight with my old beta but i have a new 1 now an she is helpin me byut she is on vacaton this wk and next so i promise i will sort the spellin mistaks out wen i can!

Did she refuse to beta your fic after you stole her poster of Gerard Way?

Chapter 8 - the Kidnap

I sat alone in the changes rooms, i was all most naked and looked awsome with my exotic lithely hair falling down over my face like a curtan of soft yellow cream with bits of purple in it but I didnt care how beautifull or eqxisite I was any more. 

Tiaa doesn’t care how beautiful she is, but she had to start the sentence off by reminding us all how beautiful she is. And that she looks awesome. And her hair is exotic.

Whatever that means.

Edward was gone. he had left to follow Bella to stop her from killin herself and i was SO mad. 

Wait, are you mad Edward is attempting to prevent Bella from committing suicide?

how coud he leave me like that after sayin bella was a cow and he didnt like her no more? 

That doesn’t mean he’s fine with letting her make attempts on her own life, Tiaa.

I was pissed! and the tears were falling down my face like a tepid summer rain of misery and woe. 

I love this goddamn sentence.

So i went home and skipped school and sat in my room in my black corset and leather panties and i smoked some drugs and started to weep. 

To be fair, this is a really solid stoner-goth aesthetic she has going.

…wait, hold up, leather panties? 

Leather panties?

dave came in and made a big smiley face.

He’s in a really good mood for someone whose brother was murdered hours ago.

"hi tiaa! I didnt no you were home! how was school today?" (he didnt notice i was smokin drugs he thougt my cigarete of pot was a chapstick)

Okay, for the sake of argument, I’ll buy that Dave visually mistook a spliff for chapstick… but can he not smell that she’s smoking weed?

"it sucks!my life sucks and i want to DIE!" i scremed and my eyes glitered with beauty.

Love how Tiaa is suicidal but still needs to make sure we know how pretty she is at all times. Reminds me of the bit in “My Immortal” where Enoby was flirting while sobbing.

"u teenagers and ur problems, LOL!" he said laughing a lot, and i knew he thougt i was just some silly kid wineing about homework and dumb boys and stuff. 

Well, replace “homework” with “getting raped by the relative of a caregiver, turning into a vampire, and accidentally seriously injuring a classmate” and Dave’s on the money.

he didnt no i had killed a man and lost the love off my life and had made lauren get hit by lighting and that all the kids at school thougt i was a freak becase my face and bodys were so diffrent from everyone elses.

Do I really need to tell this girl to stop humanizing her rapist? She killed him in self-defense! It was one hundred percent justified! C’mon, Tiaa, don’t be so hard on yourself.

Also, nobody cares about Lauren.

"dave your a good person but ur SO FUCKIN DUMB! YOU ASSHOLE!" i shouted at him and i threw my ashtray at his head WITHOUT TOUCHING IT (i could make stuff move when i was angry now...it was so weird! why did this have too happen to me!)

Well, yeah, that is weird, but I don’t get the woe-is-me attitude about it. Telekinesis is a really cool ability. Also, turns out Dave is literally so dumb that you can be an obvious nonhuman smoking weed in bed while screaming about wanting to die and he’ll take you for an ordinary teenage girl holding a tube of chapstick.

"haha, i guess your right" he laughed (he thougt i was joking, i wasnt spoiled or anythin) 

…so did the ashtray miss?

"its so nice havin you hear tiana, your so pretty. i swear your even prettier than before! 

I can’t help but feel that the amount Dave and Marie compliment Tiaa on her looks borders on inappropriate, considering she is sixteen and they are her foster parents. 

and i think your boobs hav grown!" 

Case in point.

"yeh i no they are like an E cup now" i said.

I guess it’s a good thing she’s a vampire, then, since I’m pretty sure vampires can’t get back problems.

Wait. Can vampires get high? Does being high feel different if you’re a vampire?

Dave smiled and patted me on the head and left.

That Dave!

I was so sick of bein treated like a kid and no one listenin to me that i got up and got dresed in a long black dress and took some pills (of drugs) and went out to the local nightclub which was called Pablo NIghtmare - it was a goth club were all the cool people went in forks. 

Listen, I don’t know Washington State, but in my neck of the woods small towns don’t have goth nightclubs. 

I love that she specified the pills were drugs, in case we thought they were sugar pills or something. 

bella probably had never even heard of it, LOL! 

If there is a goth nightclub in your small town, I guarantee you everyone has heard of it.

i met snoofles on the way and he came with me. 

You’re taking the panda out clubbing?

we went to the club and got drinks and started dancing to the heavy metal music. 

…I’m starting to get very confused about Snoofles. My initial impression was that he’s a regular panda bear, but Tiaa is able to communicate with him because she’s a vampire and can talk to all animals now. But I don’t think ordinary pandas go to clubs, get drinks, and dance to heavy metal music.

Although I’ve never met one, so I could be wrong.

ppl there stared at us cos i was so diffrerent looking and Snoofles was a panda, but we didnt care we were havin so much fun we were SO drunk and had taken a lot of drugs so my head was fuzzy like there was snow everywhere.

I adore the similes in this fic. No idea what Tiaa is on but I definitely know what the author means by feeling like there’s snow everywhere in your head.

"hi your called Tiana arent you? I am Jasper and I go to your school" said Jasper Cullen who was tall with blond curly hair like straw only soft and nice and not dry. 

So… not like straw, then.

he was tall. 

Yeah, you mentioned.

he was wearin a black pulover and red metal pointy shoes. (AN - haha, that descripton sounded beter in my head, OH WELL!)

No, it’s good, I dig it. Simple goth on top, bling on the bottom, may or may not be wearing pants? It’s a look.

"hey whatever" i said. "why arent you with that girl i all ways see you with?

"you mean my GF alice," he said and locked soddenly very sad and started to cry and bite down hard on his lips.

"what is wrong Jasper?" i said

"the problem is i dont love her like she loves me. i am gay, and thats wrong, and i feel so horible about it!" 

Of course he’s gay. Look at his outfit! Look at those shoes! I can’t even see him for real and my gaydar is going wild.

"theres nothing bad about bein gay u no" i said. 

"REALLY?" he sed, and looked chocked with his mouth open.

Good on Tiaa for being an ally. I love how Jasper reacts as though he’s never considered the possibility that his gayness might be alright. He’s a vampire too and has been alive for well over a century, so that’s a lot of internalized homophobia… but he’s also been around to witness the entire modern LGBT rights movement, so you’d think he might have gotten the “it’s okay to be gay” message before.

"yeah, its proper normal and Snoofles is gay and everything" i said and Snoofles waved and Jasper waves back. 

If you just got a bad feeling about what might happen next, trust your fucking instincts.

he smiled and we all stared dancing together and Jasper gave us some of his drugs.

I really wanna know what they’ve been taking, because even though Tiaa isn’t human I feel like anyone who can get high should have to worry about drug interactions. Weed and alcohol is fine, but aside from that I have no idea what the hell Tiaa is on except that she described it as “pills” and a lot of drugs that come in pill form do not play nice with alcohol. She probably isn’t going to fry her liver or anything like that given that she’s essentially undead, but I doubt she’s immune to having a bad trip.

we had a relay good time and jasper met another gay guy called Vince and we all got in Snoofleses car at the end of the night and i drove around while the others all had sex in the back of the car. 

A note: At this point in the story I quite literally had to stop the MST for a bit so I could pour myself a very stiff drink. 

The panda has a car. The panda is having a threesome with a vampire and a human in the back of his car while another vampire drives it. This is treated as normal because the panda and his two human(oid) sexual partners happen to all be gay.

Like, I’d normally feel pretty weird about the “promiscuous gay” stereotype being invoked, but I’m way too busy feeling weird that the author thinks it’s normal for gay guys to want to screw a panda because the panda happens to be gay too. Also, keep in mind Snoofles can only talk to Tiaa — the dudes he’s having sex with can’t understand him. I’m gonna say a panda who behaves like a human and owns a car is probably capable of consenting, but I still feel mighty weird about the idea that two dudes who perceive Snoofles as an ordinary, non-talking panda would want to have a threesome with him.

I guess the promiscuity aspect isn’t even bad considering how Tiaa and Edward have been acting with each other throughout the fic. The bestiality, though, I have trouble overlooking.

(i was drunk but cos i was a vampire it was ok to drive i had beter reflex than humans!)

Sure, but do you even know how to drive? In most states, it’s not legal to get a learner’s permit until you’re Tiaa’s age, so we’re not talking “experienced driver with superhuman reflexes,” we’re talking “superhuman reflexes, but on somebody who quite possibly has never sat in the driver’s seat of a car before.”

but soddenly somethin jumped into the road infront of us and i had to stop the car and get out. there was a man standin in the middle of the road he was tall and mussely and had black hair like the black feathers of a raven in the black darkness. 

But was his black hair like the black feathers of a black raven in the black darkness? I just want to be clear on the color.

he was good looking but he looked so angry i got out my samurai sword (i often have it with me!) but somone jammed up behind me and tore it from me, there were like ten people all grabbing my body in the darkness and they put a thing over my face so i coudnt see and they tied me up! 

Oh, of course, her samurai sword. Yep. Been with her the whole time.

Jasper Snoofles and Vince were too busy doing gay sex on each other to notice, i cud hear them grunting and humping and having orgasms on each other - it was so cute but now was SO not the time! 

She’s being attacked by a group of ten or more people, who have overpowered her, restrained her, and blindfolded her, in the middle of the road. Three people (well, a person, a vampire, and a panda) are present and they don’t notice this happening at all.

Like… I know they’re all intoxicated and, uh, otherwise occupied at the moment, but did they not at least pause to notice Tiaa slamming on the brakes to avoid colliding with a stranger in the road?

The men who had caught me took me away and somethin hit me over the head and i was unconshous.

when i awoken i found myself in a small dark room and the tall mussel man was in front of me. i was strip down to my underwear and i was chained to a chair with some metal chains and i coudnt move.

Tiaa has superhuman strength and reflexes. She has telekinetic abilities. She can affect objects and people by touching them. 

Yet she can’t get out of being chained to a chair?

I call BS.

"WHO ARE YOU YOU WANKY PERV!" i shoyted.

She sounds like Wheatley from “ITS MY LIFE!” now.

"I AM JACOB...THE WEREWOLF KING!" he yelled with his eyes rolling around in his face - he looked so mad and CRAZY!

Jacob’s a big dude who can turn into a wolf, but he’s also about fifteen and just learning about the whole werewolf thing, so I doubt he’d be “king” of anything. Also Tiaa could take him easy.

"NOOOOOOO!" I scremed and i try to broke myself free but i was under so many heavy chains so i looked into his wagging face insted.

I don’t know why she reacted so negatively to Jacob’s response. There is a longstanding vampire/werewolf feud in the Twilight universe, but Tiaa is very newly turned and shouldn’t know about any of that yet. Learning your kidnapper is a werewolf sucks, but if you’re already a vampire you’ve got an edge too.

"Watt do u want from me? why am i here?" i say and i started to cry.

"YOU MUST BE PUNISHED FOR WHAT YOU DID TO BELLA SWAN!" he shreeked and the drool was sloapping down his face just like rain only thick and foam-like. 

So… not like rain, then.

"YOU ARE A HALF-BREAD! 

I’ve got to change this blog’s name right away. I don’t know what I was thinking naming it “The Half-World” when I could have named it “The Half-Bread.”

Also, hold up — what did Tiaa do to Bella? Is this just about “stealing” Edward? Jacob and Edward aren’t exactly buddy-buddy, and if Bella’s single Jacob has a chance with her, so if anything I think he owes Tiaa a thank-you.

YOU SHOUD NEVER HAVE BEEN BORNE! YOUR FATHER WAS A VAMPIRE AND YOUR MOM WAS A WHITCH! ITS WEIRD AND WRONG AND NOW YOUVE BROKEN BELLAS HEART! HALF-BREAD! HALF-BREAD! HALF-BREAD!" 

Well, this really does speak for itself.

This dude was insane, he was so angery he was jumpin up and down. 

Sounds like my second-grade teacher. She was the daughter of a well-known Republican senator and she had to resign after she tied a kid to a chair with a jump rope. True story.

But something he said had caugt my attention .

Good job on the punctuation.

"What do u mean my mom was a whitch?" I said.

What do you think he meant, genius?

"MY FATHER USED TO NO HER! SHE LIVED HERE IN LA PUSH AND SHE WAS A WHITCH! SHE COUD MAKE FIRE COME FROM NOWERE AND CONTROLL THE WETHER AND TALK TO ANIMALS AND LOADS OF OTHER STUFF! SHE WAS A FREAK LIKE U!" 

I guess this does explain Tiaa’s extra powers, but, I have to say, I don’t think Jacob gets to criticize anyone else for being freaky when he can turn into a wolf.

Of corse! It all made sense now! 

It didn’t all make sense. There’s still an interspecies gay threesome that needs explaining.

I was so shocked I fainted,

and also got my periods and commas mixed up,

When i woke up Jacob was in front of me and he was NAKED! He was smilling in a proper creepy way and looked totaly weird like a greasy frog thing and his male genital item was not nice like edwards it was like a horible wet mushroom.

Honest to god I love these similes. 

he stroked my knee with it and i gapsed. whatt was he going to do to me! 

I think I have an idea, actually.

but sudenly before he coud come any closer the door of the room we were in burst open!

IT WAS EWDARD!

Here to save the day! And to end the fic, because this is it for “Forbiden Fruit”: BeckyMac666 left us all on a cliffhanger, so we’ll never know what happens.

I do genuinely love this fanfic. I love how it’s written, I love the similes, I love the purple prose and the melodramatic tone, and I love my girl Tiaa. It’s a truly fantastic badfic, and I’m happy I got to introduce others to it, too.

[defunctblogtobedeleted]

10/26/19 2:44am - Andi 6/?

I The breakup didn’t last very long. It kind of just fell into us being open again. And then we’d hang out again. And we just still had all these feelings together and stuff. 

Did we break up twice or three times? Jesus, man. This is really hard. Reliving a whole year is so daunting I can’t even begin to tell you. Especially since my primary goals during these days were  1. Learn how to do my new job as competently as possible. 2. Do as little work as possible so that you don’t fuck up and appear incompetent.  A little paradoxical, I know, but I Really didn’t want to fuck up some studies and get canned completely. I was still making more money than I had before but just turning down the optional work to get paid extra, so that was fine with me. 3. Become the best magic player ever. I was doing that a lot during the times that I could be doing optional work lmfao.

I really wasn’t interested in pursuing girls anyway. Andi and I were still snapchatting a lot I think. Like all the time, probably. We’d always just keep talking when we’d break up and then we’d want to hang out and then we’d want to fuck and it was a pretty natural progression with how beautiful and fun we were, yknow?

I remember being single for New Years Eve. I went up to see the gang in DC and Andi didn’t want to come with. It was pretty whack. She was always full of excuses why she didn’t want to make trips to see my friends.

I’m gonna speed up a little bit I think here because I think I’ve already covered some of this, but after New Years we decided to get back together. It was after this weird stint where she had been fucking my buddy Jared and I was cool with it but still hooking up with her, and everything turned out way better than expected, really. He couldn’t get off fucking her lolol, I think he said he kept imagining me being so cool with them hooking up and felt weird or something? I don’t know it doesn’t matter. But basically I was still the best sexy sex man and we still had feelings for each other and decided to get together but she wanted me to quit smoking. and I explained to her my life growing up with my parents and my friends and my family and that Everyone in my life smokes and that I thought it would be very hard to do. I told her I’d only smoke on special occasions to start and that I’d try to slough off.

Well instead I just had more special occasions. Going out with Brain and Jwilli to do karaoke? hell yeah that’s special. Seeing Jimmy for the first time in a few months? hella special. Going up to visit Tony and his girlfriend for the weekend in Richmond? Fuck yeah I’m smoking all weekend.

Eventually I started smoking like every day except when I was with her. Which, to be fair, was most days. I spent 4 days off and 3 days on work, and I only smoked to go to sleep Sometimes. 

But that must’ve been the end of the first time we broke up and then we broke up again before new years or something?

But Andi and I were on good terms and she offered to take me to the airport to go to Hawaii to visit my good buddy Jmell. I had a phenomenal time in Hawaii. I felt like I was really exploring the world on my own again, though I did have a bit of a fallback because I could text her a bit about what I was doing, and she was still hanging out in my twitch streams and stuff.

FUCK MAN. She was SO supportive with my twitch shit. And I was for her. We’d be in each other’s streams all the time to try to help each other out and keep each other company and shit. She really was precious when it came to nerdy shit.

Actually I can’t really get into the hawaii trip here, it ruins the flow. I’m gonna do that in the next post. But basically the bottom line of the story is that she saw how much fun I was having on my own and missed that about me and loved me and wanted me back. And I was happy being on my own and adventuring, but I missed her too and loved the comfort of being with her. 

I guess this is the bad part of the relationship though, because I do kind of feel like I allowing myself to stay in the doldrums a little when I was with her. My life kind of rotated around going to visit her. I did a little bit of cool shit here and there, like went to Tato’s wedding which I didn’t get a +1 to, pretty shitty.  But what I’m saying is the flip side of being content is that things aren’t that interesting. Not that I cared, I had a sexy sex monster always ready for me to give it to her. And she was kinky as hell, I could tell her about my tail fetish and everything and she was all about it. Unfortunately I didn’t really act on it a whole lot. I’m not sure why, maybe I was embarrassed or something, but we only had sex with our tails like twice. Maybe it was just so convenient that we could just pound out some good sex? Maybe I’m inherently a lazy person and she was kind of lazy too so it was just easier? I just didn’t want to push us out of our comfort zones I guess.

🎶 If I was being honest / 

As long as I could fuck three times a day and not skip a meal I’m good 🎶 

Life was fucking GOOD. I didn’t like that on a trip back from doing karaoke with Chi and his gf I showed her Frank Ocean and she seemed like she wasn’t really about it. lol that miffs me I love that fucking man more than anything. But you can’t love everything about a person? maybe?

But she made me happy to just eat candy again and love my life. And I love her for that.

But I guess it wasn’t really good for both of us? 

One of the last trips was to her family’s in PA. I wanted to go see my grandma for Easter and invited her to come along, but at the last minute she said that her mom was starting to get sick again and asked if I wouldn’t mind going to see her family instead. I thought that was fine, her mom having cancer sucks there’s not really anything you can do about it, and I liked her family they were pretty nice from the few times I’d met them. We went up and had a pretty good time. Went to a bar and drank a little and fucked in the car in a parking lot somewhere. We had finally worked out at least THAT problem with her PTSD, though I never really made much progress helping with any of her other mental health issues. I always joked around saying that she should just try to become happy like me and just power wash your brain with 4chan shit so that you could see the humor and happiness in just being alive, but she didn’t take kindly to that. Or to me telling her that she should fix it by taking acid trips like me either. 

Anyway, we didn’t really get into a fight but I think the final breaking moment in our relationship was that we were talking in the living room with her family. She had been preparing to move to a new apartment, we had gone around doing a bunch of apartment shopping the past couple weeks (much to my frustration, I was unhappy touring a bunch of places when I felt like she didn’t really care about my taste in the apartments she was looking at and more just wanted someone to accompany her, would do it but never wear anything better than sweatpants/pajamas as per usual), and had decided on a date that she’d move in. We had also talked about the weekend before, going out with Kailey and Manu and Christina and Pacos to celebrate Kailey’s birthday because she invited us to come hang out, and it was the first time we’d done anything together in a long time and Andi said she was down to come hang out with us. The conversation with her family consisted of her dad flying down to help her move, but that the new date of her move in would fall entirely on Kailey’s birthday party. I don’t know if it was a stipulation of her dad’s? Or if she had decided on that? She said she wanted more time to move? But I said well I can help you the next day and the days after and the day before but there’s no way I’m going to miss the party. She said we’re not going to talk about this right now and that was about the end of that conversation. Turns out we never really talked about it. I drove the whole way back, and we had an unrelated fight about weed consumption going to the lake which I do believe I already wrote about, and she broke up with me via text before she could move in.

I had a blast at Kailey’s party doing coke and shit but I ended up going home and sleeping instead of going to chapel hill to get more fucked up with them. I felt really awkward about where I was staying and whatnot but this story isn’t about that.

This story is the story of how we didn’t want to end up in a relationship together, and I fell in love, and how it just didn’t work out.

I don’t know what part of it made it not work out exactly. Maybe I thought she was something she wasn’t and just faked it until we made it and then we never really made it. 

But I did really enjoy it. And I miss talking to her. I really thought I could be so big a person that I could keep talking to her after breaking up and not become obsessed with seeing her face in snapchats and lust after her so much that I wasn’t just praying that we’d end up back together like every time before. 

Now I think I’m finally over missing her. It was a lot harder before I was getting laid consistently again, I guess. I do still miss sex with her, but I guess I miss sex with most people lmfao. I miss playing with her and her doggo. I think we could’ve been good friends if either of us had been able to show an inch of restraint and not just texting each other back and forth to oblivion.

But that’s not really who either of us were. We craved each other’s attention until I cut things off. It felt so good knowing someone wanted you so bad. 

RIP Andi <3 Hope you’re doing well bruh. 

[kdollmarie23]

Haven't done one of these in awhile

This could be fun or extremely sad 1: Name• keisha 2: Age • twenty freaking six 3: 3 Fears • spiders, car accident, heights 4: 3 things I love• animals, cosmetology, singing 5: 4 turns on• tattoos, androgyny, intelligence, manners, thighs. 6: 4 turns off• drugs, no sense of direction, mean, 7: My best friend• my cat and dog lol…. wow that sounds lame. 8: Sexual orientation• bisexual 9: My best first date• I’ll never tell 😽 10: How tall am I • 5'3" 11: What do I miss• free health insurance 12: What time was I born • midnight 13: Favorite color• green 14: Do I have a crush• yea 15: Favorite quote• idk 16: Favorite place• anywhere near the ocean 17: Favorite food• Thai 18: Do I use sarcasm• pretty much everything I say is sarcastic 19: What am I listening to right now• some weird ass movie on the tv. 20: First thing I notice in new person• their hair, what they’re wearing, and their smile. 21: Shoe size• 7 ½-8 22: Eye color• hazel brown/green lol 23: Hair color• right now it’s cool copper/ brown 24: Favorite style of clothing• feminine polished grunge 25: Ever done a prank call? Not since 8th grade 27: Meaning behind my URL• at one point I was loveable, and I also loved cupcakes 28: Favorite movie• dirty love and beaches 29: Favorite song• you’re not alone by Saosin 30: Favorite band• the used and knuckle puck 31: How I feel right now• mehhh 32: Someone I love• my girlfriend 33: My current relationship status• in a relationship 34: My relationship with my parents• complicated 35: Favorite holiday• Halloween 36: Tattoos and piercing i have• 7 tattoos, ear piercing and Monroe 37: Tattoos and piercing i want• nipples and lighthouse haha 38: The reason I joined Tumblr• to keep in touch Jainna, and find cool pictures for my myspace that no one else had back in middle school 😹 39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? I don’t hate her. 40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? Yea, my gf gets up way earlier than me and texts me “good morning” around the time I wake up. Haha it’s cute. 41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? That would be my boss, and heck no. 42: When did I last hold hands? I few minutes ago ❤ 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? It feels like it takes for freaking ever, I need a good 2-3 hours or else I look like a monster. 44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? Surprisingly yes! Although I wish I hadn’t because it’s fucking cold out. 45: Where am I right now? In my living room. 46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? I would be home and in bed If that were the case. I don’t trust anyone lol 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Loud 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Neither since I was 15. 49: Am I excited for anything? I’m excited for the two news jobs I just started. I am now a freaking talent director for a modelingagency lol and back to doing hair! 50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? No 51: How often do I wear a fake smile? Pretty much every day if I’m working hahaha 52: When was the last time I hugged someone? Today 53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? I unfortunately wouldn’t be shocked at this point. 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? Yes 55: What is something I disliked about today? I had a good day today. 56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Uhmm… I’d like to meet a pleiadian in human form, if they don’t exist, then I’d like to meet Britney Spears lol 57: What do I think about most? Lately my career path, family, and making my relationship work. 58: What’s my strangest talent? I can sing and do the splits! Hahaha is that strange enough? 59: Do I have any strange phobias? Fucking spiders…. ugh…. 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Both 61: What was the last lie I told? I have no idea, prolly that I wasn’t hungry or some shit lol 62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Video chatting is becoming a lot more fun, but phone if my hair isn’t done. 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Ghosts idk, aliens yes 64: Do I believe in magic? What kind? 65: Do I believe in luck? Idk I just broke a mirror so….. 66: What’s the weather like right now? Cold as fuck in march 67: What was the last book I’ve read? #GIRLBOSS 68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? Not really 69: Do I have any nicknames? Kiwi 70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? I have never really been injured by anything…. oh, actually, Dorothy from my 5th class kicked me in the shin while playing soccer in gym class and that felt awful…. like thinking back I can still feel it. Ouch. 71: Do I spend money or save it? I freaking LOVE spending money, but I know I need to save it because I’m an adult and I need to be responsible. 72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? Just tried, nope. 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? Oh yea 74: Favorite animal? Cats 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Going over notes for my new job 76: What do I think Satan’s last name is? Uhm idk 77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? I believe by nicko vega 78: How can you win my heart? I don’t have one anymore 79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? I don’t know, always laugh or some shit 80: What is my favorite word? Namaste 81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr? There is more to Tumblr than just my page and my newsfeed???!! Lol 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? Everyone should stop eating like shit because processed foods cause cancer and you need more veggies so go try some! 83: Do I have any relatives in jail? Idk 84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Wow what timing, I would be able to go invisible 85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? If I was attracted to them lol 86: What is my current desktop picture? My pets 87: Had sex? Well of course 88: Bought condoms? Yea, practicing safe sex is important. 89: Gotten pregnant? No 90: Failed a class? College class 91: Kissed a boy? Yeah 92: Kissed a girl? Yes yes yes, finally 93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Ya❤❤❤ 94: Had job? Yep 95: Left the house without my wallet? Prolly 96: Bullied someone on the internet? Lol yes 😞 sorry bout that 97: Had sex in public? Haha yea 98: Played on a sports team? Yes I was terrible 99: Smoked weed? Yea 100: Did drugs? No 101: Smoked cigarettes? Yes, I just quit yesterday 102: Drank alcohol? Yes 103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Multiple times, I love steak and burgers too much 104: Been overweight? I think I am now 105: Been underweight? Nope, I wish 106: Been to a wedding? Yes, I love weddings 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Today 108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Yes 109: Been outside my home country?Do the Bahamas count? 110: Gotten my heart broken? Unfortunately so 111: Been to a professional sports game?Like a legit football and hockey game, yes 112: Broken a bone? No 113: Cut myself?Ya 114: Been to prom? I actually went to 4 proms, 3 with the same guy and my senior prom with someone else 😸 I love dressing up. 115: Been in airplane?Yaaaaasssss 116: Fly by helicopter?No, but I've had sex in one .... secret never have I ever question! 117: What concerts have I been to?Omg sooo many! I love concerts 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? Oh yea 119: Learned another language?In the process 120: Wore make up?Everyday 121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? 16 lol 122: Had oral sex? I mean yea 123: Dyed my hair?Si 124: Voted in a presidential election?I did! I voted for Gary Johnson because there is no way in hell I was voting for Trump or Hillary 125: Rode in an ambulance?When I was six 126: Had a surgery?Tonsils removed 127: Met someone famous?Some band members and Delilah in NYC!!!! 128: Stalked someone on a social network?My secret crush 129: Peed outside?Only when I was camping or wasted 130: Been fishing? Yea, i suck at this, and deep sea fishing almost killed me.... I just like to lay out and tan and enjoy the scenery 131: Helped with charity?Yes, cuts for a cause and habitat for humanity 132: Been rejected by a crush? Yea, maybe I'm a weirdo, but now I have a gf so who cares 133: Broken a mirror? Yea I literally just broke one this week, and my week has been going great since, not gonna lie! 134: What do I want for birthday? A new car

[mi-vista]

fidelito__o

Well, here’s to another sleepless night lol

For some reason no matter how hard I have tried this past year, I have NOT been able to get Fidel out of my head. Every night, the same shit.

Ever since I wrote him that letter, actually.

Fidel is something special. I was asked today “what did you like about him? Like what made you like him so much?” That really got me thinking. I couldn’t even give a straight answer. I liked everything about him. The way he carries himself, his persona, his look on life, his mentality, his heart, his dick lol, even his big ass nose with the little mole on it. There wasn’t just one thing that I liked about him. I liked him plain and simple. I knew I liked him before we started having sex. I can tell you the exact moment I knew I wanted to fuck him too. We were just chillen laying in my bed. I was faced the other way “sleeping” and he was on the opposite side knocked out. A million nasty things were going through my mind just knowing he was right there next to me... I was wet. I was wet for freakin Fidel. I texted my friend something like “omg I’m like really wet over Fidel rn. I’m just laying here and I couldn’t help myself” I know, I’m nasty lol. Sue me.

Mind you (mini back story), when I first met Fidel ummmm he was an asshole. The first time I really ever hung out with him, he walked into the room and legit stated something like “Hey you guys my name is Fidel and I’m an asshole” so I mean, he kinda lived up to it. (I will give him that this was in high school and homeboy was like 16. But still lol.) There are some things that Fidel doesn’t really know that I remember about him. Like there was this one time we were hanging out at our mutual friends house (this was like around our junior year or something like that) and he openly bragged about having a girlfriend AND fucking some tutor from another school. I know that in that same relationship, his gf cheated on him as well. His most recent ex-girlfriend and his relationship was uuhhh how you say, toxic. Point of this is, he’s an asshole & sometimes I really do question myself but... hear me out.

I didn’t know Fidel at the time. I had never really had a meaningful conversation with him so he didn’t really impact me. Until 2017. Fidel and I have the same group of friends. Fidel’s best friend is actually my best friend as well; and we are our best friend’s, best friends (if that makes sense lol). To make it a little simpler, Fidel and I have the same best friend. Somewhere towards fall of the year 2016, he and I began conversating a bit more that we usually did. We started talking about music, artist, life, perspectives, aliens, politics, sex, the future, marriage, weed, acid, drugs, brainwashing, name it, we talked about it. If we hadn’t talked about it yet, that’s a conversation that awaits. Somehow it always felt like we were just in sync. Just always on the same page. Even when we weren’t, there wasn’t even an issue, we’d just discuss what we wanted and came to a solution. Thought there was one thing that we did have an issue speaking on... our feelings.

Like I said earlier, I knew I liked Fidel before we even started having sex. We were hanging out in my dads backyard one night just talking about life and smoking some weed. We’re we’re just kinda on the topics of ourselves & talking about our personality and the way we are. He looked at me and said something along the lines of “you know Yulissa you’re really cool” and I replied “you’re pretty freakin cool too Fidel” and we just kinda smiled at each other and continued with our conversations. In that time I sat there and thought to myself “damn I really like this dude.” I know so romantic, right lol. I’m a simple girl though, if I’m feeling you, I’m feeling you. It doesn’t have to be complicated. But boy did it get complicated.

In the span of about 7 months after actually befriending him, Fidel ended up renting out a room at my grandmas place. Our best friend was moving out of his place and Fidel wasn’t able to move out with them and it just so happen that there was a vacant room. If he didn’t end up living with at my grandmas house, he would have to move to Arizona. None of us wanted him to move out there, including himself. So he moved in and boy did we really get to know each other.

Fidel and I were just friends. We talked about the girls he was flirting with, we would talk about the guys that would flirt with me. I would even give him advice here and there on things he should say to get girls lol. Then one day, I just kinda started looking at him differently. It mostly started when we started following each other here on Tumblr. I would repost some kinky shit and he would like it and vice versa. Now we both were kinda playing this little “game” I guess. Mind you we would hang out a lot even before he moved in and we followed each other long before he moved in, so this little “game” had been going on for a little while now. One day he came over to my house and mentioned a couple of my kinky posts from tumblr to which I replied “mmm no, we don’t talk about tumblr *lol*” from then on, we never really talked about it but we both knew what’s up.

I specifically remember this one post that I think is what really took us to the next level. It was a picture post of a couple text messages. The person replying said “I don’t want to ruin our friendship but I really want to fuck you” to which the other text replied “Ruin it.” Fidel liked that repost of mine. From then on, it was on.

When Fidel moved in, I spent a lot of time upstairs. We would smoke, watch Netflix or Hulu off my chrome cast and just hang out. I got in this bad habit of falling asleep in his bed and waking up at like 6:00am and dragging my ass downstairs back to my bed. A few hours later either I would wake up to a good morning text or he’d wake up to a good morning text, we would get ourselves situated, hit the gym, grab some food to eat, shower, and go to work. We had our little routine. It was really nice 💕.

One night, as I normally did, I fell asleep in his bed. He was laying next to me and outta no where he just started playing with my hair. It felt good. He got up, went to the restroom & came back. I was like half awake & he asked me if I wanted to lay normally like horizontally on the bed. I agreed, layed down and got comfy. When I tell you, I don’t know what came over me. I do not know what came over me lol but I was just laying there, thinking a million nasty things that I wanted to do. So my ballsy ass starts lightly touching him. Stroking my fingers along his ribs, stomach, hips, pelvis, until I reached his dick and lightly started feeling on it. Boy did I like what I felt. He chuckled and said “I knew you were trying to play with me” I giggled and replied “I’m not just trying to play with you” he paused and we talked for a minute. He asked me what I was thinking and kinda what my intentions were. I just told him that I didn’t want to think. I just kinda wanted to do. I don’t really think he liked my response too much, but I didn’t want to scare him off with my feelings. I was pretty insecure about myself and I didn’t want him to know how deep my feelings for him really ran. A part of me also didn’t want to get hurt in the case that he didn’t feel the same. So I put up an emotional wall lol. What I REALLY wanted to say was something like “Idk I just really like you and I want to see where this goes” or even “You’re something different and I just want to show you how much I like you.” But that didn’t happen. So we ended up laying there for a minute he asked if I would just want to cuddle, I agreed and we layed there for a minute. Then I started playing with my tongue ring a little bit. Sliding it across my teeth. He then says “Maybe you could just taste me?” I asked if he was sure... he was sure lol. I sat up, pulled off his shorts, his boxers and licked his dick all over. In the midst of his moaning, I looked at him and said “I want you to fuck me,” “oh yeah?” He asks, I nodded yes. He lays me down, back on the bed, feet in the air, knees to my ears. He slides his dick into my wet pussy. I had never felt so good in my life. I could feel him, all of him. Stroking back and forth. Fuck he felt so good. My toes were curling, my guys we’re rearranging, my heart was pounding, my body temperature was rising, I was cumming. He had to cover my mouth just so I wouldn’t wake up the house. I was a loud one.

We finished, we got up and got ourselves situated. Before we started up, we set a couple of rules. I set the whole,

No kissing

No touching

No cuddling rules

He set the whole,

No spending the night

No falling in love rules

We accepted and continued on.

We had a good arrangement, I can’t really explain what happened after that. We had A LOT of fun and a lot of sex. This went on for a few months. In this time span, he was still texting other girls, flirting with other girls and I was texting and flirting with other guys as well. We were still playing this weird tumblr game. I was also kinda trying to send him some subtle messages on my blog to hint that I had feelings for him. It was a weird and bit confusing time. One day I just kinda had enough. We would have pretty good sex but I wasn’t able to totally open myself up sexually with him because of the fact that I wasn’t really like “his girl.” There were things that I wanted to do to and for him but we had set rules and boundaries. Also, Fidel was on the fence about moving back home to Arizona, so even if he did reciprocate those feelings, that would be a whole other conversation about a long distance relationship that I know I can’t have with him. With anyone really. I need my man to be within driving distance when I need him. So I ended the sex.

After already leaving the house, I had come back because I had forgotten something in my room. I knocked on his door and walked up, I told him that I needed to talk to him real quick. I asked him if he had feelings for me, he looked at me nervously, scratched the back of his head and replied uhh, no” I say “okay cool, just wanna make sure.” He questions me & I say to him, “I think we should end this.” He seemed confused and asked “end what?” I said, “the sex” he looked at me nervously, hand scratching the back of his head and calmly says “oh, why didn’t you just say that?” I explained that I didn’t really know how to say it and I have never been in a situation like this before. I just wanted to acknowledge his feelings and just wanted everything to be cool. I asked if we were good, he said we were good & we went back to being friends for a little, sorta.

He started fucking around with other girls after, still texting and flirting with other chicks. I was wildin out too, messing around with other guys, going on dates and stuff. But somewhere within all that there was still something between us.

I ended the sex for a handful of reasons.

1. He wasn’t my man

2. He was moving to Arizona

3. We were playing games

4. We both didn’t want a relationship in the beginning

5. I wanted to make sure my feelings were real for him even without the sex.

I remember the day I fell in love with Fidel as if it were yesterday. My mom and I had plans to spend the day in Rosarito, MX. I was thinking about inviting Fidel with us but I didn’t know if my mom wanted it to be like a mommy/daughter day or whatever so I didn’t mention it. My mom actually mentioned inviting him and I agreed and asked if he was busy that day. Fortunately, he was available. We picked him up and went off for the day. We get to Mexico, run some errands, drink some drinks, eat some good food, and somehow we end up on some campground in between Rosarito & Popotla. They have a bar there so Fidel and I get a drink. We’re getting a little tour of the camp ground and we drive up to these private fancy cabins they have on the highest part of the campground. We’re walking through the room and the guide says something in Spanish like “yeah there are fun things to do up here” i thought to myself “yeah this be a dope place to fuck” and then Fidel says out loud to himself “this would be a dope place to fuck” I looked back at him shocked and said “ I was literally thinking the same exact thing rn omg” and we just looked at each other and started giggling. We started walking back to the car and I just kinda stared at him for a moment. The sun was hitting his face right. He was holding that beer bottle pretty sexy like and in that moment I just felt so much love for that man. I looked at him and smiled, he smiled back. The rest of the day was just awesome. We were all listening and singing to Latino music and just having a great time. My mom dropped us off at my pops place and we sobered up, smoked a bowl and we’re just hanging there for a minute. It was quiet but like a comfortable quiet. Then he just started playing this really old, like 50’s love song. (Mind you, music was our thing. That was a way that we both expressed our emotions. Music was our emotional outlet) In my peripheral vision I could see him looking at me. I was really nervous and didn’t know what to do. So I did nothing. I starred downward and spun my phone back and forth. I will admit. In my mind, he just said that he loves me. A minute later he asks me if I am still down to hit the gym, I gladly say yes and we got to the gym.

About a week after that, we were in a weirder place. It’s like there was something that we needed to talk about but never did. I really wanted to talk about it tho. I couldn’t find the balls to do it. So I wrote him a letter.

Yes, there is physical proof out there of my love for Fidel *heavy sigh*

In the letter I explained to him pretty much everything that I explained in this post, give or take some stuff. I told him how much he truly meant to me, when I first realized I liked him, when I first realized I loved him, and how deep my love runs for him.

The letter was really more for me that it was for him. I had a history of bottling up my emotions, especially when it comes to guys that I am interested in or have feelings for. I tend to just keep them to myself and watch the guy I love be with another girl. I couldn’t do that this time though. I had to say something. So I folded up the letter put it in an envelope and left it on his chair in his room. To top it off, I have it to him on my 20th birthday. I know right. It’s my birthday and I’ll cry if I want to lol. Which I did.

He opened it.

We distanced ourselves from each other.

He picked a date to move back to Arizona.

September 21st, 2017 was our best friends 21st birthday gold theme party. I’m a procrastinator so I didn’t pick out my outfit til the day of. And when I tell y’all I looked GOOD I looked freakin good lol. I tweaked the color a little and threw on some Rose Gold pulled up to the party looking fly as fuck. When I walked into the party, I was like the highlight of the night lol everyone was coming up to me so excited to see me and what not. I kinda felt like a little celebrity lol. I look over to the beer pong tables and there’s Fidel playing beer pong with some rando girl. Instantly killed my mood. I didn’t even say hi to him cause I was being petty lol. Go play with you little gf *shrugs*. I was heated tho lol.

Quick backstory, there’s this dude that worked at 24 Hour Fitness with my best friend. His name is Max and Max is fine. Okay he is fine. Max and I had a little vibe going on, for a little while too but we never really got too into it lol.

Okay, continuing now.

I’m saying hi to everyone and I say what’s up to this guy Max. We’ve flirted here and there before and I have mention in front of Fidel and friends that he is fine and that he can get it lol but I wasn’t really all that serious. I mean he could but I’m not that easy haha. Anyway, I didn’t say hi to Fidel so once I got seated and comfortable he actually came up and said hi to me. Gave me a little kiss on the cheek talked for a sec then I did my own thing. At some point I ended up with my girly friend at the little buffet table of snacks they had out and I was up there munchin on some chips when Max approaches me. We start up a light conversation. Talking about him and how he’s doing. When Fidel RUDELY walked right in between Max and I in the midst of our conversation. Max & I looked at each other like “okay...” and continued the conversation. Throughout the night, Max and I were eyeing each other and talking it up here and there. By the end of the night, I was standing off on my own for a second and he approaches me again. Slides his hand behind my lower back and asks me what I’m going to be up to after the party. I look up and Fidel is right off the the side of us. Just kinda staring. I look at Max, respond with “nothing much, I need another drink though” I walked off, went it to the garage to grab another drink and contemplated on what my next move was. I walked back out and just stuck with my friend for the rest of the night lol. The night was ending and I’m saying my good byes to everyone. I run into Fidel and make sure he’s good with a ride home and if he wanted any food or anything. He’s good.

October 2017.

We’re at our best friends, family’s Halloween party. I finally pull up to the party, everyone hyped to see me lol. We have an awesome night partying being drunk. Shit pops off, Andre is wildin. We calm the beast down and it’s time for me and Fidel to head home. My mom finally picks us up and we’re heading back to the house. We’re almost home when Fidel asks me if I have a spare key to his room. Apparently he had left his at our friends house. I let him know I didn’t have it and he says “it’s okay, I’m not going to be staying the night at home anyway.” My heart dropped. I got quiet. We got home. I went inside and then decided I wanted to smoke a little bowl, so I went back outside and Fidel followed. I packed us a couple bowls. We smoked and he says “I got your letter”

He told me that my letter was “cute” and that he loves me just “not in that way” and that he cares a lot about me. I put my emotional wall up and told him that it’s okay and that I won’t make him feel bad for it. Which I never feel like I did. I told him the letter was mostly for me to finally be able to express my feelings instead of keeping them bottled up. He understood. I told him how much he truly meant to me. Even then, I didn’t get to say everything I wanted to but I did the best I could in the emotional state I was in. For fucks sake I was drunk off my ass and high as a fuckin kite. I was a mess lmao. Anyway, the chick that he’s spending the night with pulls up to pick him up. He goes inside to grab his things, comes back out. As I’m going inside he stops me, gives me the absolute biggest hug and says to me “I love you” I hug him tighter. We smile at each other and continue on. The next day, he packed all his shit and moved to Arizona.

Fin.

[galxpals]

10/14/17 - Fortune

let’s get down to business

the gals and I were ratchet as hell mid pre-drinking and pre-cl

I was lit ASF in Dina’s party room, but it died down when we were on the way to Fortune

was still pretty litty tho- just wasn't on everyone’s level :( 

Iggy, Nicole and I peeing behind a dumpster in an alley...classy 

saw Ace, Sayed, Ryan, Jordan and Gabby right before getting in line...why am I not surprised tho 🤷🏽‍♀️

found out from Kajol that Sangerth and Ammar were also coming out tonight...again, why am I not surprised tho

a huge s/o to my homegirl Celine for discounting the entrance fees for my girls, and covering my entrance fee 

f’real though, use. the. plugs. that. you. have.

split a champagne bottle for Dina with the girls because the best deserves the fricken best!! 

Iggy decided to kiss me, and then we decided to kiss everyone else...why is my drunk best friend like this..I just wanna know

Iggy’s ass also decided to have sex with a couch in one of the small rooms

I know I went with the girls but I was floating around the entire fuckin’ night don’t even ask how or why

after losing the girls when we were done dancing with Ace and them, I finally found the birthday boy Giel and met his gf Eizza 

right after I was walking around, I found Mik, who was with JD, Lucky, Manny and Celine found me and we all ended up in this little party room with our own DJ...LITTYYYYYYY AF

still didn’t know where tf any of the girls were but that’s fine 

found my girls again on the dance floor, saw Kajol dancing with Sayed (sure), Jordan grabbing my friends’ asses while his gf was right there (alright), and Ace grabbing me to dance with him.....huuuuh

apparently he told Kajol he’d make out with me if she made out with Sayed....u iz funny Ace 

ended up making out with Ryan later on that night...sick

one of Giel’s sweet af friends came up to me and said that I was beautiful, my heart is crying y’all

why and when did Sangerth and Ammar walk in can I just........ok

idk why we went in and out of the club 295893859023 times but that’s cool

right, cause Dina was tryna get on one of the bouncer’s dick

Iggy left early cause she had work so Dina and I took her outside til she caught a cab

Eric tried to help but realized Jordan, Ace, Gabby, Sayed and Ryan were all outside too so he bounced LOL

while we were waiting this group of German/Polish/Swiss boys were all up in Dina and I’s grill...not in a bad way, they were all so charming 

the moment Dina and I said we were cold, 3 of them were already taking off their jacket and trying to give it to us

CUTE AS FUCK OMG 😭

after Fortune was closed, Micelli, Dina and myself got a ride from Matteo and his friend...yup. 

sorry Matteo but how’s your gf? 🙃

night was an easy 10/10

- m.d.

WHORE WHORE WHORE

anyways...FORTUNE WHY NOT

MY BABY GIRL Dina’s birthday so we had too!

We pre-drank at her place, started off with cards against humanity and cider pong...THEN IT GOT RATCHET QUICK

EVERY GIRL WITH HER WINE BOTTLE

Lemme just say this, we dancing on butts off before the club and at the club!

We began figuring out how much money we would need, yenno...IF WE WANTED TO STOMP ON OUR EX.

....yeah ....turns out it’s $0.50

Yup

Took cute pics... the usual

Then we started to crank that three times from left to right

Anyways, we GOT SHITTERED

We head down to the club where May, Nicole and I puss in an alley. Girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.

Meet some guy named Marcus? Who is in love with Dina... k BYE

Smoked weed with some random dude.”SICK”

Get to the club to see Ace and Sayed.

AND BOY...did I hug them each for too long...yeah I did. Whoops #sorrynotsorry

Anyways, the club was lit.

Got that bottle of champagne for Dina

And after consuming that...I decided yo Twerk on that beautiful red couch

DECIDED that it was smart to initiate kissing all the girls ️

Like why do I always start this shit?

WE MET ERIC AGAIN

SIDE NOTE: we are getting in for free on my bday, and possibly getting a table :) thanks Eric and bless your soul. Even though I ain’t coming to that boat cruise you told me to come too.

So yeah danced had fun, lost the girls a couple times.

Met this random guy who claims he is celebrating his bday at fortune the same day I am.

Then he came up to me again while I was dancing with Sayed (my hands interlocked...with his idk why) and then Sayed goes ahead and pushes him away...lowkey thought a fight was about to go down. But he was just protecting me. Bless your kind soul SAYED!

Shortly after, noticed myself staying with Ace’s friends more.

Grinded with Gabby...

Had her SUPPOSED BF GRAB MY ASS, and come LOOKING FOR ME TO JOIN THEIR DANCE GROUP WHEN I TRIED TO LEAVE.

Heard Gabby trying to hook Ace and I up.. just because we danced together that night LIKE ALOT. LIKE WE GRINDED, but hey he is my friend. And it will always stay that way.

He touched my ass multiple times...but I mean again..JUST FRIENDS. I didn’t even care tbh.

Because after all that we decided to go pee in an alley together

#RAGHUSHO? #ACEISTHENEWYOU

Anyways, soon enough met up with my girls again, and called it a night.

Bless Eric and his kind soul for helping us flag a cab down. But then everyone else followed, so then Eric was like, “I think you got enough help here” LOL YEAH MY BAD.

I saw a cab and ran for life, forgetting to yell ...Bye. Dina saw and knew what was up. So that all panned out great.

AND TO TOP IT OFF my cab driver was LIT AF. Played all them old Elton John songs, and we sang our hearts home!!

10/10

- i.b.

[fuckit-shithappens]

1-85

1. Are looks important in a relationship? to me🤷🏽‍♀️2. Are relationships ever worth it? sometimes, not all the time 3. Are you a virgin? yeahh👌🏽4. Are you in a relationship? nah😂5. Are you in love? nahh 6. Are you single this year? 90% of the year7. Can you commit to one person? yes8. Describe your crush; they green, they’ve never broke my heart, they always there when i need them, they help me chill out & enjoy life, they smell bomb asf, i can smoke em🌬9. Describe your perfect mate; i’ve down this q a lot so i ain’t doin it10. Do you believe in love at first sight? nope11. Do you ever want to get married? i don’t wanna have papers involved or a wedding i just want rings & for us to both know that it’s us til the end, we ain’t gotta have papers or all that extra bullshit. no yes but not how everyone would originally get married12. Do you forgive betrayal? i dont13. Do you get jealous easily? nope14. Do you have a crush on anyone? ehh👀15. Do you have any piercings? yes my ears & my nose16. Do you have any tattoos? not yet 17. Do you like kissing in public? not really20. Do you shower every day? fuck yeah21. Do you think someone has feelings for you? yeee😬22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? prolly lmao23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? lmao yes, i don’t even “cheat” during the talkin stage. look at my loyalty 24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? nope25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year? i don’t care for it, so nah26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? yeahh27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you? yeah lol28. Have you ever been cheated on? yup🤣29. Have you ever cheated on someone? nah30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body? my stomach 31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? yaa🙄32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? yeahh33. Have you ever had sex with a man? hell nahh34. Have you ever had sex with a woman? yeth👅💦35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? indeed36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends? issa no37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? mm idk tbh38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? dude yeah...39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? nope lmao40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? what kinda gay shit no41. Have you had sex so far this year? haaa yeahhh🤙🏽42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? i can kiss for a long time👀 43. How long was your longest relationship? a year 😗44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? 3 girlfriends 45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013? imma say 1 46. How many times did you have sex last year? i didn’t count? 47. How old are you? 1748. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? ight lmao fuck you you ain’t shit anyway49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? 50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? ooo🙃 i’d prolly just look at her & be like we can talk about this but i’m not forgiving you yet so hold on to all that first51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? nah52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why? i’ve given up on a lot of people bc they don’t put equal effort for our friendships so i literally have like 2 people that i fuck w 53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? lmao yup54. Is there someone you will never forget? yessir55. Share a relationship story. 🤷🏽‍♀️56. State 8 facts about your body; 🤷🏽‍♀️57. Things you want to say to an ex; idk lol58. What are five ways to win your heart? make me laugh, understand my ways & accept them, play around w me, show you want me, & gimme attention without me having to ask for it59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!) 60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? 4 years61. What is the first thing you notice in someone? their vibe 62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? fuck me on kitchen counter & make me cum63. What is your definition of “having sex”? if you gay, eatin out or fingering or strap ons if that’s your cup of tea64. What is your definition of cheating? flirting, doing things you wouldn’t want me doing, kissing, holding hands, touching parts you ain’t suppose to, sending nudes or booty pics65. What is your favourite foreplay routine? 66. What is your favourite roleplay?67. What is your idea of the perfect date? idek lol 68. What is your sexual orientation? gay asf🏳️‍🌈🐱69. What turns you off? bad hygiene, messed up teeth, ugly attitude / personality, how you treat others70. What turns you on? good humor, silliness, lickin my neck, wanting me71. What was your kinkiest wet dream? yo mind ya business lol72. What words do you like to hear during sex? fuck, oh my god, my name 73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? bring me nuggies, some weed, & there company so we listen to music74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for? 75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? sent me 5 bags of mexico hot cheetos bc homegirl in love w them😂😍😩 76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? idek lmao77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? it don’t matter on the age it matters on the maturity78. What’s your dirtiest secret? i have one but then it wouldn’t be a secret anymore79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? i don’t remember?80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? thursday81. Who are five people you find attractive? salice rose, nicki manaj, kehlani, boo boo stewart82. Who is the last person you hugged? justice😂 (hope you have fun at work)83. Who was your first kiss with? my first gf84. Why did your last relationship fail? i wasn’t ready & i felt i outgrew her, she wasn’t good w communication & she didn’t show she wanted me 85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet? prolly after we met in person & i seen wussup