#yes even today I still forget they're supposed to be the same person

[ssaraexposs]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHINICHI KUDO (& CONAN EDOGAWA)

[lilahisntsadanymore]

Engaged to an Italian man and carrying a secret pregnancy, Y/n must decide when and how to reveal the news to her notorious family.

The reader pronouns: she/her

Pairings: the Shelby family x shelby!reader x OC (faceclaim Lorenzo Zurzolo)

Words count: 2.4k

Tw: mentions of death, pregnancy, italian written by me (but there are english translations)

Additional inf.: Y/n's mother, was made up by me as well

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

A Shelby Surprise

Now that the vendetta with Changrettas was over, everyone could take a breath. Finally all the stress was gone and for once the Shelby family wasn't in trouble. They hoped it would stay this way.

The stress was gone, but not for Y/n, Arthur's daughter. What nobody expected coming, she fell in love. What was so unfortunate about this? The man was Italian.

If it happened a few years earlier or a few years later maybe that would have been alright. But not right now when the memory of vendetta was still crystal clear.

The man Y/n fell in love with wasn't a Changretta, but she supposed it wouldn't matter to her family. As long as the vendetta was still a fresh topic, he would be a bad man in their eyes.

As if the problem wasn't big enough, Y/n got pregnant. The man knew about it and wanted to be present in the kid's life, he even proposed to Y/n. But the challange was to tell Y/n's family about it.

So there she was - calling each family member, inviting them for a little 'party'. Y/n had no experience in this stuff, so she considered it the best way, telling everyone at the same time when they're gathered together.

"It'll be fine," Y/n's fiance said, squeezing her hand lightly. "What's the worst that could happen? Will they murder me?" He laughed.

"You really didn't know what you're signing up for when you fucked a Shelby, did you?"

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

"Non voglio dirgli della gravidanza,"* Y/n paced around the living room, waiting for the guests to arrive. "What if we only tell them about our engagement?"

*I don't want to tell them about the pregnancy

"Non possiamo, cara mia. La noteranno prima o poi."**

**we can't, my dear. They'll notice it sooner or later.

Right after those words, the sound of knocking filled the room.

Y/n took a deep breath. "Hide upstairs, Nicco. I'll call for you when it's the right time."

The man walked in the direction she instructed as she herself went to open the door.

The Shelby clan. In front of Y/n's doors. Waiting to be let inside. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to tell everyone in the same time.

Despite her running heartbeat, Y/n tried to stay calm as she greeted each person that entered her house.

Something was off when Y/n hugged aunt Polly. The woman eyed her up and down. Did she know? Most likely. She sensed it when Lizzie was pregnant, so why wouldn't she now?

"You probably wonder why we've gathered here today." Y/n spoke, her gesturing more intense than ever. She tried to make her voice sound as light and free of stress as possible, but it was a difficult thing to do due to the anxious feeling in her stomach. Either the stress or the baby inside was making Y/n want to puke right there.

"Yes, we'd love to know." Polly said, a faint smile on her face.

Everyone had their eyes glued to Y/n. Ada watched the girl with worry, as well as Linda who treated Y/n as her own, Polly was fighting the smile from completely ruling on her face, Finn looked extremely confused, Tommy lit up a cigarette.

"Are you in trouble?" Arthur asked eventually.

"Yes and no." That answer didn't clear up anything.

"What do you mean?"

A nervous laugh escaped Y/n's mouth. "Do you remember mum? My mum, your wife, who died many years ago?"

Arthur nodded confusedly. How could he not remember her? He would never forget that amazing woman, who gave him love, hope and a beautiful daughter and then passed away too soon.

"I remember Georgia." Arthur didn't want to talk about her. Years passed and now he had Linda, but the wound caused by his first wife's death was still open.

"Dad, her name was Giorgia. She was Italian, don't try to rewrite that story. The reason why I'm reminding you about it is..." Y/n hesitated fr the last time, "I hope you'll understand my situation."

The times were different back when Arthur and Giorgia were together. Back then, she was just a simple girl who moved to England from Italy and fell in love with a man from Birmingham. There wasn't any vendetta, so their relationship wasn't such a sensitive topic, but nevertheless Y/n hoped her father would understand.

"Can you stop the charade?" Tommy chimed in impatiently.

Y/n nodded. "Niccolò, come here!"

The tall, brownhaired man walked down into the living room. He was dressed in a white shirt, black trousers and elegant black shoes.

"Everyone, this is Niccolò. Niccolò, this is my family."

Everyone eyed the man. Tommy and Arthur were especially suspicious about him.

Niccolò shook hands with each Shelby, taking the time to introduce himself better and get to know everyone.

When the man lastly got to Arthur and Tommy, they refused to shake hands with him, their arms remaining crossed on his chest.

Arthur looked at his daughter. "Why are you introducing him to us?"

"Seriously?" Y/n sighed. "Dad, are you this clueless?"

"Yes, Arthur, are you this clueless?" Polly asked with a full smile on her face now.

Arthur wasn't clueless. He suspected, he knew, but he didn't want it to be the truth.

"Niccolò is my fiance."

The room fell almost silent, if it wasn't for Finn's coughing. He choked on the air and smoke, he was lighting up a cigarette when Y/n broke the news. Finn was her uncle, but they were rather like siblings to each other, because Y/n was even a few years older than Finn.

"He's your what?" Arthur asked.

"Fiance. I'm sorry I haven't told you before, but I was afraid of your reaction."

"An Italian, eh?" Tommy interrogated, shifting his gaze to Niccolò. "Who are your parents? What do they do?"

Y/n added, "O digli il tuo cognome e lo scoprirà entro domani."***

***or say your last name and he'll find it all out by tomorrow

Niccolò smirked and the girl's comment, but then turned back to being serious. "They moved to this country before I was born. My father died in the war, but my mother has a flower shop in London."

"A flower shop?" Arthur raised an eyebrow. "That's interesting."

"I see what you're doing," Y/n said, "Nicco has nothing to do with the Changrettas."

"It's just funny how he appears in your life exactly when-"

"Yes, vendetta, I know. Can we talk in private, dad?"

Arthur and his daughter walked out of the room into a small kitchen. Y/n leaned on the kitchen counter.

"Can you stop?"

"Stop what?" Arthur asked. "I'm just trying to get to know my future son-in-law."

"Can you do it without making it seem like you're looking for a correlation between him and the Changrettas?"

"I don't want him to hurt you. Or any of us. Isn't it any suspicious to you?"

"It's a stupid coincidence!"

Arthur sighed, looking at his daughter with a mixture of concern and skepticism. "Y/n, you know how things are around here. We've been through hell with the Changrettas, and now you bring an Italian man into our lives. You can't expect me not to be cautious."

"I understand, but he's not connected to the Changrettas in any way. I wouldn't put our family in danger like that," Y/n pleaded.

Arthur rubbed his forehead, contemplating the situation. "You could have at least given us a heads up. This is a lot to take in all at once."

He was trying his best to remain calm. The old Arthur would've bursted out of the house a long time ago, but now he was in control of his emotions.

A lot to take at once. Prepare for more, then, Y/n thought.

"I know, dad, but I was scared. Exactly because of that. I'm sorry, but we really do love each other."

"Just promise me, if anything feels wrong, you'll let me know. I don't want you keeping secrets."

"I promise, dad. I won't keep secrets. I want us to be a family, including Niccolò."

Arthur forced a smile. "Alright, let's go back out there. I'll try my best to keep an open mind, for your sake."

Poor Niccolò was left alone with the Shelbys. It was a weight off his shoulders when Y/n was back in the room.

Everyone looked at Arthur curiously. He spoke. "We'll give it a chance. But you," he pointed at Niccolò, "hurt her, and there won't be a place on earth you can hide from us."

Niccolò nodded respectfully. "I understand, sir."

"Can we all just enjoy the evening and celebrate this occasion that is our engagement?" Y/n asked cheerfully.

The atmosphere felt lighter, the family peacefully continued the gathering. Most of them wanted to trust Niccolò and give him a chance.

Arthur and Thomas kept a close eye on Niccolò throughout the night. Their suspicions weren't easy to put to rest, but for Y/n's sake they chose to keep their mouths shut this one time.

After dinner Y/n and Niccolò managed to talk to Finn alone. Y/n decided that the pregnancy would be too much for just one evening and all her fiance could do was accept it. However, they trusted Finn with this information.

"Finn, we have to tell you something." Y/n said after she made sure everyone else is busy.

"Oh no, another big news?" Finn whined. "I don't know if this family can handle more tonight."

"That's why we wanted to talk to you alone," Niccolò pointed out, "it's a secret."

Y/n added, "A secret just for you, Finn. The mission is to keep it until we can tell the others. You understand, soldier?"

"Alright, I guess." Finn agreed with a curious expression on his face. "You didn't kill anybody, did you?"

"No, of course we didn't."

"Quite the opposite," Niccolò added with a chuckle. "Y/n is pregnant."

Finn raised his eyebrow and joked. ""Engaged and having a baby... You didn't waste any time, did you?"

"Proposing is the right action to make once you knock somebody up," Nicco chuckled, "but seriously, it was actually planned."

Y/n giggled, "Life comes at you fast, Finn. Engaged and having a baby. We wanted to share the news with you first."

"Besides it'd be a lot to handle in one evening." Niccolò grinned. "We'll make the announcement in the right time."

Finn shook his head in disbelief, "I can't believe you decided to put so much pressure on me!" He laughed. "Am I supposed to lie to Tommy and Arthur?"

"Like you haven't lied to them before." Y/n pointed out sarcastically. "They aren't going to ask you any questions."

As they headed back to join the family, Finn couldn't help but wear a mischievous grin. The rest of the Shelbys continued their celebration oblivious to the news.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

A few days later, aunt Polly paid a visit to Y/n and Niccolò, surprising the both of them. Despite the surprise, they couldn't not let her inside.

"I need to talk to Y/n," the woman said, "it's a ladies business. Be so kind, Niccolò, and find something to do for the next... half an hour."

Niccolò raised an eyebrow at the request but decided not to push it. "Alright, take your time, ladies." He grabbed his coat, a pack of cigarettes and walked outside.

Polly and Y/n settled into the living room, the air heavy with curiosity. Polly took a moment, eyeing Y/n.

"I know you're hiding something," the woman said, lighting up a cigarette, "and I wanna hear it from you. I'm giving you a chance here."

"Am I hiding anything?" Y/n tried to convinvnce Polly that she was wrong. But she knew the woman has been a little different recently.

Tommy and Michael thought she's starting to go crazy or maybe it's the alcohol that she seemed to be drinking a bit more often, but Polly knew she had been blessed. Blessed with the gift of contacting spirits, predicting certain things.

"Let's start from here. Are you keeping it?"

Y/n's eyes widened. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm not gonna tell your father if you don't want me to. I was in your shoes once. I know a place, we will go there and-"

"Yes, I'm keeping it."

Polly smiled widely. "That's wonderful. Would you like to know if it's a boy or a girl?"

"We want it to be a surprise. Besides I don't think it's safe to do... whatever magic you do on a pregnant woman."

"It's not magic, my dear. You can't read cards or tea leaves for a pregnant woman, but I just sense it's a-"

"A surprise. Please, please, please, I really don't wanna find out yet."

"Alright... and now, why didn't you tell us? Any of us?"

"Wasn't that a little bit too much in too little time?" Y/n scratched the back of her neck nervously. "Didn't wanna add to the chaos."

Y/n decided to not mention the fact that Finn actually knew about it.

Aunt Polly studied Y/n for a moment before nodding approvingly. "Well, love, you've made your bed, now you have to lie in it. But I'm not here to scold you. I just want to make sure you're ready for what's coming."

"I know it won't be easy, but I'm ready. I have a husband, almost. I have a house. We can make it."

"Remember, you also have us. Me and Ada can certainly help you with the baby. I'm sure Linda will also love this new little Shelby."

"The baby isn't going to be a Shelby... I'll go with Nicco's last name."

Polly leaned back, taking a thoughtful drag from her cigarette. "Fair enough. But remember, secrets have a way of coming out, especially in this family. And when they do, it's usually in the most dramatic way possible."

"I'll tell the rest of the family soon... can you come with me to dad and Tommy? I'm a bit scared to tell them..."

"Of course, love. There's nothing you should be afraid of, you're a grown woman. When your mother was your age, you were running barefoot in my backyard."

Y/n smiled at the comment. "Thank you, Aunt Polly. I appreciate your support."

Polly stood up, stubbing out her cigarette. She gave Y/n a hug before heading to the door. "Now, take care of yourself and that little surprise of yours. And let me know when you're ready for me to do whatever 'magic' you think I do."

As Polly left, Y/n couldn't help but be grateful for the unexpected ally in her corner. She suddenly felt much more confident.

[azaliyas]

Hi! I saw this cute tik tok where Alhaitham is autistic and his weighted blanket was being washed so he was very grumpy snd couldn’t fall asleep so like kaveh decided to lay on top of him to try and emulate the blanket.

If it’s ok can you do that but alhaitham x reader, romantic and established relationship? Sorry if it’s confusing 😭

summary : alhaitham is a man of simple requests and simple needs, but when they're not met, like his precious blanket not being on him for the night, it can become quite the problem. luckily for him you, his amazing lover, have a solution that he will gladly enjoy (but he will never admit it).

word count : [ to be added later ]

genre : fluff.

cw / tw : none.

characters : alhaitham.

note : omg me?? posting?? what a rare occasion 💀 yes i'm not dead and i'm still writing! i just forget to post '^' anyway anon i'm sorry for the delay 😭 you have the right to bonk me if you want, i deserve it anyway ;-; this idea was so cute tho, i need to see that tiktok even if i don't ship haikaveh lol // i have more pieces ready they just need proofreading (if i can find the will to, otherwise to hell with that :D). on a serious note 1) i didn't understand much about weighted blankets so if this piece is off eeeeehhhh i tried 2) internet said that habibti was the right word, but if habibi is the one let me know please! hope you can enjoy this, sorry my sporadic appearances 🫠❤️

a few years into your relationship with alhaitham you learned quite the number of curious facts about the scribe that many didn't know — not because alhaitham kept them a secret, but only because of his reserved personality that didn't make him open up to the first person that was in front of him.

the scribe liked his coffee burning hot with no sugar and just a little sip of milk, enjoying it sitting at the same spot of the kitchen table every morning. he also liked working out mostly in the evening and take a shower right after. alhaitham loved sleeping on your chest, the sound of your heartbeat a comforting lullaby.

speaking of sleeping habits, alhaitham could only sleep with his weighted blanket wrapped around his body. because of this, the scribe was very attentive in washing it during the day so it would be dry for the evening. that was one of the first things you taught yourself to do in order to help your boyfriend, a gesture that had the dendro user fall harder for you.

at least, that's what you succeeded to do until today. the rain didn't allow the blanket to dry during the whole day, and so by the evening it was still dump. impossible to let it be used, even when you had hung out the blanket before starting cooking dinner for tonight. by the time you and alhaitham had to turn in for the night, it was still wet. and cold. defeated, you had to put the weighted blanket aside.

you found alhaitham standing near the mattress in your shared bedroom, pyjama on and ready to crash the bed and fall asleep. that was, but his blanket was amiss.

your groan came out sounding more like a whine noticing this scene. you cursed the rain while scrambling your thoughts trying to find a solution.

«it's fine.» alhaitham said, turning on his feet to look at you. you knew he was lying.

«it's not! how are you supposed to fall asleep without your blanket?!» you whined again, a sound of exasperation leaving your throat right after.

«i can put more blankets on top of each other. it's not a problem.» your boyfriend rebutted, walking toward the wardrobe.

alhaitham pulled out some blankets and started laying them on the bed one after the other. deep down the scribe knew it wasn't the exact same thing, but a weighted blanket had its purpose in the deep-pressure touch that brought calmness and comfort. and that deep-pressure touch was given by the heavy weight. by logic, more blankets on top of each other had to be enough heavy.

but for once in his life, alhaitham was wrong. it was a weird feeling, but not as weird as tossing around back and forth, incapable of sleeping for more than five minutes before waking up again. his movements and his grumbling had you waking up.

you turned on your side and faced your boyfriend, just in time to meet his gaze. he furrowed his brows as soon as he noticed you staring at him.

«sorry for waking you up.» he murmured, annoyance clear in his voice. not at you, of course, but at his incapacity of falling asleep.

you looked at him, eyes focused, and alhaitham knew you were thinking hard about something, but what that something was he didn't know.

without a word you dragged yourself on top of alhaitham, who laid on his back as you took place on his chest, your blanket wrapping around both your bodies. your head rested in the crook of his neck, your hands gently pressed on his chest, right above where his heart was.

«habibti... what are you doing?» alhaitham looked at you like you just grew a second head on your shoulders.

«well, the comfort of a weighted blanket is in its weight, right?» you asked, raising your head to look at him. alhaitham slowly nodded. «hence my position: i will act as your blanket for the night.»

to say the scribe was flabbergasted was an euphemism. he didn't mind your wonderful mind and colorful ideas, after all it was one of the reasons why he fell in love with you, but sometimes he couldn't help but wonder if you the hamster running on your wheel wasn't actually high on something.

«it doesn't make sense.» he rebutted.

«this is where you're wrong, haitham. it does. weighted blankets have their purpose in their weight, that brings comfort thanks to the fact they mimic a hug, helping you release serotonin and dopamine, hormones that soothe you and help you sleep.»

you concluded your explanation with a satisfied smile, chin resting on your knuckles while you looked at your speechless boyfriend. it was a very rare occurrence to leave the scribe without anything to say, and almost all of the times it was because of you.

sighing and subtly rolling his eyes, alhaitham decided at last to try your idea and sleep like that — although, your chest was a much better pillow than the feather ones his head was currently laying on.

...

oh what a delight was to see your boyfriend's stunned face the next morning, the heaviness of sleep still clinging to his god-touched features as he was blinking away from the sun rays pouring from the window.

«don't.» he grumbled.

your smile turned into a knowing smirk.

«told ya!» you happily chimed.

© azaliyas 2023 do not copy repost translate or feed to ai

[sachermorte]

hi roland

i noticed you use a forearm crutch and i wanted to ask for some advice, if that’s okay with you

i just got my very first forearm crutch (and mobility aid in general) today and um. it’s very scary to use it in public :’)) i just wanted to ask if you have any advice on how to give less of a fuck about people staring and judging, and how to feel more confident with using it in public

thank you :’)))

Servus, Anon, you caught me just coming back from the gym. I'm happy to talk about this before I go jump in the shower and pretend I don't exist for twenty minutes.

I've been using some flavor of mobility aid since I was around eighteen years old, so let's just round it up and call it a full decade. I started with a cane, had to upgrade to two forearm crutches three years in, and knocked myself back down to just one crutch around three or four years ago. I've been carrying around a giant metal pole for so long I don't really remember what it felt like to go without it, so I suppose I really am the best person to ask.

This is long. Table of contents provided here, cut to follow.

On Judgment

On Theater

On Discrimination

1. On Judgment

The first point I want to impress upon you is that people really, earnestly, don't give nearly as much of a fuck about you as you think they do. People are inherently self-centered. This isn't the same thing as selfish, mind you. People can be good and generous and kind while still being fundamentally self-centered. That's the price of admission for being an individual. People live in their own bodies and deal with their own problems and primarily concern themselves with their own affairs. They might look at you, but that's because the way that the human brain works is that it wants to take in new pieces of information. A young person with a mobility aid is "unusual", so they're just filing it away in their endless filing cabinet of Things That Exist On Planet Earth. It's no huge drama.

To continue on a slightly different angle, the therapist-esque "no one's judging you I promise!!! do YOU go out on the street and judge people on what they look like?" never worked on me because yes, actually, I do. I think people are out here dressed tragically and with bad haircuts and with the most hideous shoes I've ever seen, and I think it very often. But here's the thing: I see someone, I judge wholeheartedly, and then immediately move on. Any given person occupies less than two full seconds in my consciousness before I go back to what I was doing and forget about them literally forever. This is how random, shitty, petty judgments happen. These people are irrelevant to your life and your story. You will almost certainly never speak to them on the subject*. If people think about you at all, it won't even be unkind. It'll be "Oh, I wonder what's going on there. Anyway." I promise. Kerry Weaver used a forearm crutch on nine seasons of ER before it was explained, and people dealt with it just fine.

I suppose I'm lucky in that I live in Vienna. You would be hard-pressed in Vienna to get anyone to give a shit about you and what you're doing if you were shot in the street. I consider this one of the best things about the city. I've known people who only very delicately broached the subject of my crutch after knowing me for over two years. And it was when I was already complaining about my hip joint. "Ah, that's why you have the crutch, I suppose." "How very right you are." "Anyway, you were saying?" I've had multiple people mention that they forget I even have it. It just melds into their map of what Roland looks like. Doesn't even warrant thinking about. The one time I had a stranger ask me about it was three years ago, and it was a little kid. I told him it was because I never ate my vegetables. I laughed. His dad laughed. Everyone moved on. Aside from that, it only comes up if someone asks me if I might like to take their seat on public transportation (I might, indeed), or someone offering to let me use the staff elevator or waving me through a priority queue. Nobody cares.

*If you live in America, the last paragraph is unfortunately not applicable. I've experienced the height of rudeness in America. People grabbing me to ask me questions, people literally laying hands on me to pray without permission. I once had someone pull out one of my earbuds to ask me what was wrong with me. You are allowed to shout at these people. The best way to get rid of them is to make an absolute scene. I wholeheartedly advocate for tactically losing your shit. Also, your crutch was practically formulated in a lab to be good at hitting people. Consider thoroughly.

2. On Theater

Even taking all of this into account, though, having a mobility aid is new for you, and new things are frequently scary. This brings me to my very favorite tactic for navigating the world: delusion. When I have to do something I'm not used to doing, or go somewhere I'm unaccustomed to, my first thought is always "what character am I playing while I'm there?" I recently started going to the gym and always dress as Favoriten-chic as I can get with my present wardrobe. When I have to file an important piece of paperwork, I dress very respectably in gray and black. When I was at my job in the garderobe last year around a bunch of ÖVP-Wähler, I dressed mostly in vintage menswear.

What kind of characters exist in the greater public consciousness that often use canes or staves? Aristocracy is and always has been my mask of choice. You, however, might choose a swashbuckler. A Tolkien-esque wizard or someone living in The Shire. A knight. A monk. An outdoorsman. Partaker of organized crime. Jay Gatsby roaring 20s billionaire. Whatever you choose is going to be your cover until you feel like your crutch is an extension of your body and you don't need the pretense anymore. You're cosplaying. It might take a few months. A few years. You might decide you like your persona so much you never take it off. That's also fine.

Again, I live in Vienna, and people stare at you here. It's just a thing. It's culturally accepted. Half the time we're not even staring at you. We're staring through you. Einfach nur ins Narrenkastl schaun. But because I dress the way I do and move the way I do through the world, if people are staring at me, the last reason I'm going to even think about is the crutch. It's usually the outfit.

Also, that point earlier about people being fundamentally self-centered? I'm so absurdly self-absorbed it's a miracle I can even see where I'm going. I've had friends, multiple times, go "those people were STARING at you" and I honest to God did not even notice. Not even a little bit. When I have company I'm too wrapped up in saying outrageous shit. When I'm alone I always have headphones in. My leitmotiv is inescapable. Which really only helps to reinforce the vibe I'm pushing out all the time.

3. On Discrimination

If you wanted me to write that no one would treat you any differently, I'm sorry to say that that's not the case. Don't get me wrong, there are many benefits, both physical and social. Your pain will go down significantly, that's for sure. You'll be able to walk faster. You'll be able to be out longer, and experience more things. I personally get to use Cripple Privilege to get out of anything I don't want to do. I almost always get a seat on public transportation, even during rush hour. I can press-gang friends into carting shit around for me. Just yesterday I had help carting two vintage hardwood and leather dining chairs from the third to the tenth. I did not carry either of the chairs. I just trotted along and chattered everyone's ear off.

But people do tend to make assumptions about what you are and aren't capable of. The extreme praise when I started going to the gym didn't really sit right with me, and I'm not going to bother saying anything about it because what's the point? In the minds of other people, they're being supportive, not condescending. Your dating pool will shrink significantly, because again, people make assumptions about what you are and aren't capable of, and often just don't want to date a disabled person. If your partner is okay with it, their family likely won't be. My ex's family said some HORRIBLE things to and about me about how I was "dragging him down" and "forcing him to take care of me". He didn't defend me. This was the least of many, many problems with that entire relationship, but I still found it incredibly unpleasant. My issues in my love life aren't solely due to my condition, so don't fall into despair prematurely, but I can't pretend that it isn't a contributing factor.

After that relationship ended, I wound up cutting out most of our former mutual friends, not only because of their lack of support, but due to them constantly posting those pastel uwu "you're so valid!!!" positivity and (mis)information posts surrounding disabilities, which felt incredibly infantilizing and condescending. Again, I'm sure they would insist they were being supportive. If I ever see another one of those posts again it'll be too soon.

In any case. You will live a long, meaningful, fruitful life. And the crutch will be a part of you. For now. For a while. Maybe forever. That's okay. That's fine. Maybe in ten years you'll be just as jaded and nonchalant about the whole business like I am now. That doesn't make your apprehension about the situation any less real. But I'm telling you now that the life you want always lies on the other side of a massive pain in the ass.

You'll muddle through somehow, with alternating bouts of clumsiness and grace. We all do, after all.

[tarjapearce]

LMAOOOO, I think someone's lurking here, Miss T (aside from us readers).

Right after I submitted that ask, they made another statement (still bs by the way) and have suddenly mentioned you and provided "evidence". They're fumbling so BADDDD LMAO it's just so funny.

The fact that they still haven't acknowledged you and their obvious copying from your story. Instead, they said their story was inspired by another story entirely. Took them two bs statements before even mentioning that, and you as well. Then they act surprised when receiving backlash after being a literal fucking liar. 💀

Like what the other OP has said, it's seriously not that hard to apologize and admit your mistakes. But I guess liars will always be cowards. The audacity though LMAO. The shameless behavior of their plagiarism when they're an artist themselves.

Still, we love you Miss T. I look forward to seeing more of your great works! Let's just move past the negativity (had them blocked just now LOL). Don't forget to take breaks! Thank you so much for continuing to work hard. We love you! 💜💕

Thanks dear! And yeah, consciousness when you're guilty is a bitch.

The only thing I do envy from them is the seemingly vast time they use for harassing and commenting.

They might've gained some sympathizers with their sad stories, and I might've lost some readers over there because of it. But, 🤷🏻‍♀️. Meh.

I've got like 3-4 mails today, with the same sort of content but "different" people. feeding my proof bank even more. I like to keep myself well informed in these topics, so I asked a lawyer friend of mine to take a look at the situation.

He just laughed at how shameless it all was. Even agreed that the comments are just a low tactic of leaving me as the bad guy cause they know what they've done, You know, typical people passing as innocent when they get caught redhanded, and naturally they'll hang up in a sensitive topic such as being a trans person and misgendering and harassment as a way to 'dirty' my supposed credibility and reputation. My friend made emphasis on the chapter 4 of their story. Where mostly of the plagiarism happens. And yes. It is plagiarism no matter what the comments on A03 say.

What I'll do? Keep writing and focusing on things that actually matter to me, cause I wanna improve my skills and keep making stories for my favorite arachnid papasito until I move to another productive activity ✨.

Thanks for your support so far ❤️✨.

[ask-theredcrown]

*The daily note.... It's late today. Is that a bad thing? The note itself is fine, as always... It's still impossible to tell where these are coming from. Maybe this person is above you? Maybe they're... Using some sort of magic? Maybe it's best not to ask... It's fine though, atleast you have someone to... Relate too... Probably... "Before I was sent here" was on the last note. Maybe you could ask about that again... Though, like you said. You can't find him in your realm. All of this is just a big mess of confusion, really. Anyways, I'll stop talking. The note is what you're after. I'm just a narrator after all.*

*We always have tomorrow anyways... Now... The note.*

"Heeyyyy, Nari, my friend! Hope you're still doing good while I'm writing this.

I'm doing alright, I'm growing in power by the day. I might be able to send another note to you too, so we can have a bit longer of a conversation... If thats what we call this. You know the drill by now, incase you forgot, just talk. I can hear you just fine through this paper. Magic is weird, isn't it?

Escaping is going to be easier too, if I just keep waiting, keep gaining power, this all of this would be better.

Anyways, back to you. I've been listening to you conversate with those... Shadow's. "Anons" I believe they're called. Telling you something about a Kallamar? And you spoke of them being your sibling? I'm guessing they're somewhat protective of you. Do they think you're dead, too? Reminds me of Him. Your siblings do atleast.

I saw that Lamb you speak of. He seems cute. Or she? I could not tell from here. Enlighten me will you? Despite this, I like them. They could be useful to me... Possibly. Worry not, I dont need a vessel. You wouldn't understand."

*The page has to be flipped.*

"Today I'll be able to send you another note. So ask me a question, I need something to talk about. It's restoring my sanity... Ha. Ironic.

Oh and before I forget, maybe get that Lamb to get one of his followers, or I guess they're your followers too but whatever. Get them to find a cemetery in darkwood. Let them embrace the warmth and their new h o m e . I need their bodies for their energy, and power...

Anyways, like I said. Ask me something if you wish, and get that Lamb to send someone out. I need power too, you can't hog it all."

*The signature is the same. Just a dash, and a small drawing of a tombstone. This time, with a crown drawing next to it. It's similar to the crown on Lambs head, just the eye is dark grey...*

@tomb-the-god

"As always, I am doing perfectly fine. A relapse here and there, but nothing much for someone who has been doing this for millenia."

"I assume we can call this a conversation, just not a conventional one. I am glad to hear that you are good, and growing in power. That is a mutual goal of ours, if I am allowed to say that."

"Shadows, souls, whatever you wish to call them, they talk to me, and sometimes, I talk to them too. At first I believed that they were pigments of my imagination only, and thaat I was finally coming to madness. But apparently not, they are real and each one has their own conscience. Sometimes they can be a little too... Weird. But I have become used to them now."

Narinder finishes reading the letter, putting it down and closing his eyes.

"Kallamar, yes.. He is my brother, one of the nasty bugs that put me in this place... He knows I am alive, hoping and praying every day that I don't wake up again in the same realm as him... As for the Lamb, my vessel, they are not a man, nor a woman, but I will ask you take your eyes off of them, I will not permit distractions upon them."

"A question? Hm, I suppose I have one, yes. I still do not understand your situation. Dead? Alive? Do you even know where you are? Are you able to see, even?"

[shmowder]

Twyrin is a bop, it's like the Alone in the Town from Silent Hill 2 of Patho 2. When those sad clown noises kicked in in Haruspex Is All Alone... I really like that one.

My favorites from P2 are Useless Science (Victor + Yulia's houses), Deep Dreaming (Maria + Saburov's (I think?) houses), Childhood Grave (Nutshell), Doctor's Dead, and Mourning of the Gone (I have no idea when these two play), along with most of the Theodor Bastard tracks.

Love love love the contrast between yandere Yulia, Victor, and Aglaya. Your characterization feels right for all of them; they're so distinct from each other but I love em all <3

The meta elements of the game are something I haven't given much thought to and I hope they're explored more in P1! Like I know technically the game is a play - Aglaya, Mark, Tragedians will address you the player, everyone's an actor, but I know there's SO much more to it that I just kinda gloss over.

Finished P2 today!! It was great. I had stacks of leftover eggs. Big Vlad said I have the heart of a dove. I found Clara less annoying this time, hooray. The conversations you have with the kids on Day 10 😭💔 I remember the last few days being emotional but wow. Both of the main endings make me sad, as I'm sure they're supposed to. That being said, Diurnal 4ever. Now, onto the Marble Nest.

Did you know there are lizards carved in to the stair railings of the Broken Heart? It's cute because Peter Stamatin's animal is a monitor lizard :)

I'm not really in the Pathologic fandom either lmao. Just someone who likes x readers who also liked playing P2 and found your blog at the best possible time and now I may have a hyperfixation and I'm genuinely excited to play P1, wonky graphics and all :) I understand where you're coming from with not wanting to get canon, fanon, and your own opinions muddled up ^^

-

Competent reader who already is an established, independent person in the world! Ooh I can see why you're fixated on the sword one... I like the idea of a healer who works with the Dogheads. I'm fond of the cannon one, too. Generally reader who nebulously exists to be loved by [character] is my lifeblood, you know, just a projection of the idealized self or whatever. But when the reader really feels like a fully formed person - well, it might limit the projection possibilities but it allows you to better explore *why* the character is interested in them to begin with. <- Not meant to be negative btw, I'm just getting tired and forgetting how to craft sentences 😅

What you said about noticing your anons' style and reading between the lines to determine what they might like is so genuinely sweet I am just 🥹🥹 I'm so glad you think it's fun! Somehow you managed to read my mind with Mea Columba despite me not even telling you it was my request until you were done already but truly it was like that fic was beaming directly into my soul or something <33

Don't worry, I don't feel pressured ^^ Thank you, though, and same to you of course! I don't want you to feel pressured, either. I can see this becoming an endless circle of not wanting each other to feel pressured 😂

🐿️ anon

Oh useless science is absolutely amazing! I like pathologic's tendency to subtly poke fun at its own characters in the soundtrack or environment design. It's both cruel and so delicious.

I'm happy you enjoyed the Yandere HC! I tried to give each of them their distinct vibes. Yes they are characters who have a lot in common and call be grouped under the umbrella term of "seemingly cold and smart" but they are still so different.

Each of them holds contrasting principles, value different traits and views life and other people through contradicting lenses.

Aglaya searches for the meaning of life in every nook and cranny, takes all possible answers into consideration no matter how small.

Victor is part of something bigger than himself, bigger than humanity even and thinks the meaning of life should be shaped and scouplted.

While Yulia views it as more of a string of fate situations, life is simply a long series of coincidents. Reality branching with every decision you make and this thing called free-will is simply your mind coping with living in a reality out of your own control.

-

I'm lucky to have had someone like you stumble into my blog <3 You really do make the game more fun for me and I got to explore so many different sides and scenarios because of you. I enjoy these talks and hearing about your thoughts.

Woo congrats on finishing P2! Eggs are really the miracle of life aren't they? forget the polyhedron, it is the eggs which solved the famine! And omfg big vlad comment is kinda 👀 that man is really a romantic at heart isn't he.

And yes I do hope you'll enjoy P1! Once the wonky graphics become the new norm, you'll get as attached to them as P2 characters- God P1 Aspity makes me want to steal her out of the game and keep her safe in my pocket for eternity.

-

I didn't actually know about the lizards but once you mentioned it, I started seeing them everywhere! This is the bar stairs railing picture you attached:

But you also can notice a lizard in Andrey's concept art too! on the fan he's carrying around.

Andrey's symbolic animal is the shark so the lizard here is definitely meant just for Peter. You don't even find the lizard in Peter's own concept art, showing his loss of identity maybe? Or how Andrey's keeping his memory alive.

It is a little sad, how much more important Peter is to Andrey than the other way around. One will always care for the other more.

A lizard and a shark, how uniquely beautiful.

Talking about siblings, Capella has the butterfly while Vlad the younger has the bear. Maria has the cobra while Khan has the hedgehog.

-

Yeah, the more specific a reader gets, the less inclusive they become. However, sometimes that makes them even more popular amongst reader in a surprising turn.

Maybe because it builds a story better? Like they are still a blank state in some areas but giving them one gimmick makes them stand out and pull in people who wanted to see that gimmick explored.

Think of how much of an interesting dynamic a Doctor Reader would be with Daniil or an army general reader with Aglaya.

A kin reader with the Rubin or a bartender with Andrey. What if we just throw Daniil out the window and make the bachelor role a reader insert then have it be Reader x Victor or Reader x Artemy?

The detailed ideas I previously described started as simple concepts too, one gimmick, one trait and a blank state reader. Then I filled in the blanks the more I thought about it because it was fantasy for the sake of fantasy at the time.

If I ever turn them into legit readers I'd clean them up and remove some parts. Simplify their concepts as much as possible so there is room for other people to add in their own detials.

The dogheads reader started bc I wanted a character that carries a cool sword around and thought "hey khan likes sword maybe he will let them into the polyhedron" Then it spiraled into a noble knight reader who tries to remain chivalrous but prefers the past to the future unlike the utopians.

The herbbride x reader was because I wanted to smooch a herb bride pls let pls :"(((

A plague doctor reader who is actually equipped to deal with plagues and has the cool bird mask and everything rather than having Daniil improvise.

Detective reader is a favourite, they're more of a noir Detective and a drunk loser? Think Harry from Disco elysium but a younger version who is still more put together and eager to solve crime.

-

I'm happy you liked Mea Columba <33 I enjoyed writing it and exploring that side of Victor.

[moronic-validity]

Idea based on posessive winter! WK can control the ice people right? So what if he slowly turns simon into ice? Or coat him in frost so he can control him!?

Well, it took me a week, but I finally came up with an idea!

18+ and this one has dub/noncon (I was gonna clarify it as them having a free use relationship, but I couldn't find a place to just sprinkle that in)

Okay so I have a spin on this!

Let's say Simon still desperately wanted the powers of the crown.

He only wanted to put it on for a moment, he wanted to see what it was like to have the powers without the madness.

Winter was asleep, he'd never know.

Simon picked up the crown on the bedside table and placed it on his head.

It was only for a moment.

The frost spread quickly, covering every inch of his body in a cold that seemed to burn like fire.

Winter awoke hours later and the first thing he saw was his Simon, frozen in place with a look of peace, his fingers still ghosting along the edges of the crown resting on his head.

He clicked his tongue.

"Oh Si, you should've known not to play with things that don't belong to you," Winter shook his head, " You can set my crown down now, thank you."

Simon's arms moved with their own agency, removing the crown from his head, and placing it back on the bedside table.

Winter laid back on the bed, trying to decide what he wanted to do now.

"Simon, this frost will only last as long as you had the crown on. Do you know how long you were wearing it?"

Simon didn't respond.

"Oh yes, I always forget they can't respond when they're like this…Right, well, I suppose I should explain to you what's happening, I'm sure you're terrified, aren't you?"

He waited, almost as if he was waiting for Simon to respond.

"Well, let me ease your anxiety my fellow Petrikov, what you're experiencing is a safety feature on the crown. It's one I added myself you know, it took me years to figure out I could program something like this!" He smiled, basking in his own invention, then continued, "It renders wearers other than myself as harmless as, well, a snowman. Though I did wonder if it would effect you, considering we are the same person."

Winter looked to Simon, awaiting a response of any kind.

"Right, well it looks like you had it on for some time, hm?"

He didn't have any plans for today, but this did have him coming up with new and interesting plans.

"Well, let's see how well this works," he tilted his head as he considered all the possibilities, "Simon, take off your shirt."

Simon had no way to tell Winter he was still present in his mind as he pulled off the white shirt he always wore to bed.

Winter stood up and traced along the scars on his chest.

"You know Simon, I have never gotten a look at these… they truly did heal marvelously, though I suppose they did have an abundance of time to fade."

Simon wanted to laugh, it had been over a thousand years, and even though he spent the bulk of that time as the Ice King, they did still have plenty of time to fade.

"Remove your shorts."

He wanted to fight back, but his body moved without his consent, removing the only piece of clothing covering him.

Winter walked around him, carefully studying every inch.

"You have always been an impressive man Simon, I don't know why you're always so bashful, never letting me look at you too long like this," He dragged a finger down Simon's spine, "We have the same body after all, you don't have anything I haven't seen before."

He removed his own shorts and laid on the bed, his cock stood at attention, resting against his stomach.

"Benefits of the crown," Winter thought for a moment before motioning for Simon to come closer, "I want you to ride me."

Simon's body moved of it's own accord, he positioned himself above Winter, and carefully eased himself down on his cock.

He wanted to whine or squirm, but he couldn't make a sound or slow his motions.

He was never good at riding, Glob knows Betty had tried to teach him, somehow though, his body seemed to know what to do.

Winter rested his hands on Simon's frost covered hips and began fucking up into him.

The unchanging look of peace on his lover's face was taken almost as a challenge, as if he could fuck Simon out of the magic induced stupor.

He found himself unable to finish.

He had dreamt of being able to do this, but it wasn't nearly as fun without the warmth or the little noises of pleasure Simon was known to make.

Winter grew bored.

"Go and lay down, I'm sure the frost will be wearing off any moment now."

Simon's body obeyed, laying on top of his covers.

Winter opened his mouth to clarify the command, but stopped himself, instead choosing to go back to bed, hopeful his Simon would be back by the time he woke up.

Then they could continue what they started.

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

okay, I'm going to need you to all listen, because it seems like some people don't understand:

I could not, and I truly do mean could not, conceivably have less fucking interest in litigating who "counts" as ace or aro.

you like to have sex for reasons that don't involve attraction? you feel like romance best describes the type of relationship you're in even though you also identify as aro? you enjoy consuming content about either of the above? cool. you have every right to.

but here's the thing I think you're all forgetting: you outnumber me.

statistically, both within the ace/aro communities and outside of them, people with an interest in sex and/or romance, no matter how vague or theoretical that interest may be, will always outnumber people without an interest in sex and/or romance. you definitely fucking outnumber people without an interest in either one. the group of people that I'm a part of (averse-to-repulsed aroaces) is a teeny, tiny minority within the queer community. we probably do not even make up one percent. I think I know and have had personal conversations with, what, two of them?

listen, when I first found the words "asexual" and "aromantic" it felt like a promise of freedom. it felt like finally, in the haze of "these are your teen years and you're supposed to experiment" coming from the secular world and "keep yourself pure in mind and body so your future husband can enjoy you :)" coming from the christian world, someone was FINALLY saying "yes, it's okay to say no, and it's okay to keep saying no forever if that's what you want."

like, I know for a fucking fact that if 14 year old me had encountered the ace community I see today, where it's expected that you're sex-favorable and kinky and write smutty fanfic all the time and if you're not then that's okay, you can just hand out water bottles at the orgy, I'd have been terrified. I'd have run away from it as far and as fast as possible. and I just worry about people like the person I was coming into the aro and ace communities and still seeing the same oppressive forces that they came to these communities to get away from. and I'm trying to be that voice of "hey, it's okay that you don't want what everyone's saying you should want, it's okay if you never want it, and anyone who's telling you that you should want it is fucking wrong." and that's not an attack on anyone who does want it. what's happening here is that I'm waving a flag and hoping others will see it and realize they're not alone. but some of you are really working hard to see my flag as a gun.

[aoyama-division]

ARB Birthday Special: Tomi Chōten

~~ August 14th ~~

"It’s all about the money."

Login Lines:

"...Yes, yes, I'll be sure to attend your party later this week. Thank you ever so much for your time. *sighs* How I detest the fact that I have to appease these sycophants. They are all the same: they simply wish to be seen with me, or they want something from me. *sighs* What's next on the agenda, Hino-san?"

"Hmm... 'prepare for my birthday celebration'? ...Hino-san, did you purposely leave this off my calendar so I wouldn't know today is my day of birth? ...You wanted me to see this last since I'll have the rest of the day free? ...Very well, I'll accept this, but please give me some notice next time."

Voice Lines:

*Sighs* "Maybe I should have kept quiet about today being my birthday. It seems every time it comes around, more and more people try to bring me meaningless gifts in an attempt to gain my favor. And they're all of low-quality too. But considering they are all commoners, my expectations weren't very high to begin with."

"...Still, I suppose there's something to be said for gifts that come from the heart instead of being bought off of a shelf from a store just because it's convenient. I can't even recall the last time my parents gave me a gift that wasn't just money or some expensive piece of jewelry. The only person in my family who actually gave me something of actual worth was my brot... gah! Why am I remembering useless things like this?!"

"My parents are planning a large party for my birthday, as they do every time my birthday rolls around. I'd ask if it were possible to just have a small one, but I'd just be wasting my breath. They'd give me the same speech they always give about how important it is to 'make a good impression' or 'uphold the Chōten legacy'. Different day, same thing..."

"Thank you, Karada. I'm glad to see you've stopped by. ...Yes, it's hard to believe we've associated with each other for such a long time. Honestly, I'm glad I decided to speak with you. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have gotten to know you. You are... a good friend. ...Yes, I do mean that."

"And what is this now? ...A phone screen magnifier? For viewing my phone up close? ...And pray tell, why exactly would I need this? If I want to watch movies, that is what my 64-inch flat screen is for. ...Very well, I'll accept it. I suppose it would be good to use when I'm FaceTiming someone."

"Ah, Luis. For the second time in a year, you've actually made it out for my birthday. Keep this up, and I may start to think that you actually value me. ...Ha, so you aren't able to stop Karada from dragging you out of your restaurant? Aren't you older and taller than him? Sorry, but I don't buy that excuse."

"Fine, I'll keep my comments to myself in exchange for the gift that you've graciously bought for me. So, what is it? A... food smoker? ...Luis, are you sure you didn't buy this for yourself? Did you forget that I have chefs cook for me? Why would I ever use this? ...It can also be used for cocktails? ...Fine, I'll give it a try. But FYI, if I don't like this thing, I'm giving it to my head chef."

Karada Lines:

"Happy birthday, Tomi! Man, I tell you, I can't believe we've only known each other for only seven years! It feels so much longer! ...Yeah man, I'm glad you spoke to me too! You're a good guy, despite what anyone else says and thinks. ...Aww! Thanks, Tomi! That means a lot to me, man!"

"Here's your birthday gift! I'll admit, I had trouble finding something good, but I saw this in a catalog and realized it would be good for you. It's a phone screen magnifier for viewing your phone screen up close. Pretty nifty, huh? ...Well, I mean you may not want to use your TV all the time. And it's not just for videos, you can also use it when you're browsing the Internet or something. Great, glad you like it, man! Happy birthday again!"

Luis Lines:

"Yeah yeah, happy birthday, Tomi. ...Oh, don't get a big head. You're not that important to me. I'm only here because of Karada. Honestly, if he hadn't reminded me that today was your birthday, I would have forgotten. ...Keep running off at your mouth, and I'll take this gift I bought you back with me. Your choice."

"Good. So... here. It's a food smoker. You use it to blow out smoke onto food and drinks to give it a nice aroma. ...It's not just for your food, smartass. I just said you can also use it for your drinks, like cocktails. ...Fine, whatever. I gave you a gift, which means I'm done. Now, I'm heading out. Happy birthday or whatever, you ungrateful ass."

[silktherambler]

This is why I get mad when people have the nerve to turn around and look at me and say I'm judgmental when they're doing things that aren't right and I'm calling it out

The first time I was ever called judgmental slightly to my face but not really to my face cuz the person texted that but then didn't want to have a conversation but anyway

She said that I was judgmental because she asked me about a situation that she was in, where she definitely did wrong and she asked me if I thought she was wrong and I told her straight up yes

First of all if you didn't want that answer you shouldn't have asked me, cuz me of all people I'm going to tell you what I'm looking at

Second of all, if you continuously kept bouncing back and forth between your ex-boyfriend and now your new ex-boyfriend who is also supposed to be close friends with your ex-boyfriend, then yes you're in the wrong what are you talking about

If he did it to you you would have ran around the school calling him a dirty dick nigga

So why are you booing me? I'm right (😭 H.B)

So when it came to this situation it's like I feel like the person trying to make it seem like I'm judgmental because a year went by and I wasn't able to talk to them about why I felt upset

First of all they're truly not a good listener cuz I did try and talk about this, and they told me they kept saying things like oh well I was going through a lot and there was a lot happening in my life

Once again, that doesn't have anything to do with me the same way all the issues that you threw me into the middle of didn't have anything to do with me and I'm trying to get an understanding of why I was even in it in the first place

Today was the first time I got a real answer which was I don't know how to give you an explanation for something I don't even know how to explain to myself nor do I understand why I did those things

And what she doesn't realize is that's all I wanted

Cuz that's what true accountability is, just tell me that you don't know why you did what you did for real and you're still trying to figure it out yourself

Telling me oh I was going through a lot and I had a lot happening and life was hard for me is an excuse because you don't have many friends that threw you in the middle of their problems the way you did us

All of that is excuses, cuz you're you're giving me the runaround instead of just telling me straight up why you did what you did or if you don't know why you did what you did

And the problem with people pleasers, hello cuz I'm one of them, so I understand it to a degree but at the same time I'm not condoning a gotdamn thing. That's why I tend to be honest I'm like here's the thing I can understand where you're coming from but that doesn't mean I have to support it nor tell you that you're in the right especially if you not

They believe that if they say sorry, due to them always apologizing in their adolescence, they believe that if they always say sorry its supposed to fix the issue cuz that's what made people get off their back

But you forget that you're talking to A person that knows the suffering art of people pleasing as well which means I know the difference between somebody saying sorry to just not feel the scary energy of somebody else's frustration or annoyance

Compared to you coming through on some bravery and just telling people what happened and why it happened

Taking some accountability do look like oh okay I wanted to change myself, because I realize what I'm doing is hurting people

But that's literally just you deciding to not be a bad person anymore

That's you deciding to change your actions

Taking full accountability means talking to the people that you hurt and really getting to the bottom of that and figuring out how you can fix it

Accountability is not just change, it's understanding what caused the riff so you understand what is going to be a boundary or a distance marker for people, and yourself

And when they say to you hey this is something that's a problem for me or hey this is something where I feel still a little uncomfortable, to then talk about yourself and what you've gone through

It's selfish

The fact that she literally was like oh we're talking about the fact that I lied but what about the things that you've done afterwards like when you didn't want to talk to me or something I don't even know what she was talking about for real because I'm like anything that I have done to you has never been as bad as the situations that you have dragged me in and out of, there is no genuine comparison here, if you want to talk about situations that you feel like I put you in by maybe not talking to you and avoiding you then that's a conversation that's kind of different from you lied about who you were,

Like screw us not being in the same lane, we're not even driving the same kind of vehicle, you're in a van and I'm on a bike

That's why I don't want to talk because all you going to do is deflect and then you have the nerve to ask me if I ever put myself in your shoes

No because I've never gone behind my father's back and married somebody when I said that it was only for a certain purpose and then decide that when that same man that I married wasn't the man that I thought he was going to be decided to throw a bunch of stories into the air to manipulate him and also let my friends get in the mix of that and for years did not tell them at any point in time that any of these things were lies until we graduated

I've never felt a need to manipulate people to that degree

There's a lot of attention that I didn't get either and granted we don't come from the same lives and we also don't come from the same mindset and our situations are genuinely different in terms of our upbringing but I didn't have the perfect upbringing either but one thing I was taught was compassion and consideration for other people feelings emotions and decisions even if I don't like it

So where you learned to manipulate in order to feel comfortable I learned how to isolate in order to feel comfortable so we're not the same and we never going to be the same, no matter even if I were to try and put myself in your shoes I can never understand you because I believe in free will

You sit there and you talk about how God understands your heart and God knows how you really are but God also gives free will and he understands free will which means people are free to do what they want look at things how they want move how they want react how they want and etc

How you choose to do those things impacts you more than it impacts other people

To the Free Will in this is that I don't have to forgive you right away especially when you didn't tell me the truth right away

So continuously trying to pressure me into thinking that forgiveness means letting go,

I mean I guess that's okay because I let go of this a while ago

[purplesurveys]

1767

Have you had more hot or cold drinks today? More of cold. I will say though(!!!) I've recently...turned a shift towards hot coffee? Like this is not bad at all??? I've been having hot mugs all week long and it may very well grow to become a new habit of mine.

What's a name you like that's similar to yours? There aren't a lot of names that bear a similarity to Robyn per se, but in the sense that it's unisex I am generally a fan of such names – like Stevie, Frankie, Dylan, Billie/Billy...

Where did you get the last plate/bowl you ate with from? I don't know, these were the plates we've had from the day we moved in here. I'm guessing they were bought by my parents at some mall.

How's your mental health today? It is very stable and I can tell you it's because I don't have to think about work until Friday.

What bands and artists did you listen to when you were a teenager? Mainly Paramore, but there was a lot of punk rock in there as well. Rancid, H2O, The Bouncing Souls, Against Me!, The Misfits...I don't listen to them nearly as much anymore but I'll always have a soft spot for each of them and for that phase in my life.

Do your feelings get hurt easily? Yes, I'm quite sensitive.

What sort of restaurant did you last eat at? Well it was a Chili's, so. American and a bit of Mexican in there if I understood their concept correctly lol? Anyway, it was my first time eating there too and tbh I had had a high standard because of its price range, only to not be impressed. Why is it even so expensive there? They serve exactly the same stuff you'd find everywhere else.

Do you have a friend who's always sending you TikTok videos? Do you actually watch them? Kata used to send me TikTok videos until she stopped because I never was on the app, lol. Angela would still send me some occasionally, though.

Have you ever seen a cougar in the wild? Never.

Will you attend a wedding in the next 3 months? Unless I get an invitation from today, no.

Are you good at following instructions? They have to be written/printed out otherwise I'd forget instantly.

What's your backyard or outdoor area like? It's clean and plain, but we don't really do things there. We prefer to entertain guests in the living room or at the rooftop.

Do you like your boss? (or your last boss if you don't currently have one) Bea has always been a fantastic superior and mentor to me from the day I stepped in the workplace, which is why I'm gutted that she's leaving any day now. My personal work morale has been low ever since she announced the news and I still haven't figured out how I'm supposed to manage everything and everyone once she's actually out the door.

When was the last time you took a selfie? Does it count if it's a mirror selfie? I took a few ones at the salon earlier this afternoon when I was getting my hair dyed.

What did you have for breakfast yesterday? Fried rice with egg and ham bits.

What do you do to entertain yourself on a long flight or journey? I would download several YouTube videos in advance so I can watch them while offline.

Where are you right now? I'm at the rooftop but I literally am gonna pack up and go back to my room after this question because holy fuck does my back hurt.

Have you ever done a hearing test? Continued a whole day after. I don't think I have.

Do you hate small talk? Depends on how it goes. I'm pretty good with small talk but you can only do so much if the other person is too shy or is stingy with their responses. If I sense that they're not into conversing then I stop.

What's the hottest temperature your current town/city has ever had? There's no confirmed record for the hottest temperature in my city. I'm gonna guess somewhere between 40-45ºC though as summers can get brutal.

What programs/applications do you currently have open on the device you're using right now? I have Chrome, Spotify, and Notes.

How many steps per day do you do, generally? Hahahaha. I work from home and don't exercise so the average is less than 100 a day, embarrassingly enough. It's a different story when I get the chance to be outside because I do like to catch up on my steps; for days like those I would average anywhere between 8,000 to 10,000.

Have you had any snacks today? Yeah I had a couple bags of my favorite sweet corn chips. It's not as bad as it sounds – the bags are *really* tiny so that's why I had to have two of them lol.

Did you have any exchange students at your high school or university and did you become friends with them? We probably had batches of them come and go in college but I never did recognize them. My university has a huge population and it would've been impossible to know every single student.

What's the next thing you'll tick off your to-do list? It's a holiday tomorrow but I need to do a bit of work here and there just so I'm not completely stacked by Friday.

Have you ever had a chia pet? No.

What's your favourite sandwich filling? Pulled pork.

Do you have any nieces or nephews? Nopes.

What was the last reason you saw a doctor? Dog bite.

Do you use light mode or dark mode on your phone? It's been on dark mode for as long as I've had it.

[yandereloversblog]

Hey hey hey! How u doing today, well I hope ur doing great , anyway ik ur not rlly taking any request rn but I'm just gonna send u this request and leave it on ur inbox cuz I might forget abt this 💀 anyway and I'm sorry in advance if this is confusing cuz English isn't rlly my first language 😔

Can I request a introverted darling with goldie and lefty? Yk the shy, quiet type, the one who hates crowds, timid, doesn't rlly have that much friends maybe about 1-3, and the one who easily gets flustered. But when u get to know them or be their s/o, they'll be more open and sweet type ykwim

Anyway ur free to do this if u want ^^ have a nice day 😋

𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄!𝐆𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐲, 𝐋𝐞𝐟𝐭𝐲

╰┈➤ . . . 𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭: 𝙸𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝙳𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚜 𝚞𝚙 𝚐𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖

╰┈➤ . . . 𝐅𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦: 𝙵𝙽𝙰𝙵 1, 𝙵𝙽𝙰𝙵 6: 𝙿𝚒𝚣𝚣𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚊 𝚂𝚒𝚖𝚞𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚛

╰┈➤ . . . 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫: 𝙶𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚗 𝙵𝚛𝚎𝚍𝚍𝚢, 𝙻𝚎𝚏𝚝𝚢

╰┈➤ . . . 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙱𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛, 𝚄𝚗𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚝𝚑𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚃𝚘𝚡𝚒𝚌 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚜𝚎𝚝, 𝙼𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚙𝚞𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝙱𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛, 𝙼𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚞𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛, 𝙾𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗

╰┈➤ . . . 𝐓𝐲𝐩𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜

I feel indebted to you because of the memes you've sent me XD- Also these will kinda be short- I'm still not used to Lefty but Goldie sir-

Also do you like my new set up? Yes I had to make new borders and everything during a dinner out with my family

-> 𝐆𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐲

He doesn't either!

This man is silently celebrating in his mind when he finds out you don't like big crowds.

But unlike you he just hates everyone-

You both took a while to approach each other but Goldie did it first because he knew you wouldn't try it first.

"They're annoying, and they never stop talking either, get on my nerve..."

A lot of quiet, comfortable sessions where neither of you say anything but it usually happens if you cuddle, Goldie just let's you mess with his hair/fur.

I can say you're lucky Goldie let's you have the friends you have, they're just about the right amount -though he'd prefer if you only had him-

If one of them messes up and hurts you in any way he's killing them.

When you finally open up to him and act so sweetly Goldie falls for you all over again.

"Are they really that important?... I know you don't like them hun, they kept forcing you to go out."

His hugs are tighter, more kisses, -more overwhelming presence, no alone time; just Goldie time- gonna cling to you.

In return Goldie might get a bit more overwhelming than before because you're being so sweet to him.

Gonna start to seriously stalk you, keep an eye on the friends you have to make sure they're not doing anything he disapproves of.

Please don't deny Goldie any affection, he'll get angry instead of upset because he's starting to think he has a claim over you.

The more time you spend with Goldie = Goldie going more delusional that you're his possession.

"You don't need anybody else but me Darling, I'm the only person that should matter to you."

Lefty's really happy how you talk to him in a more timid and lower tone of voice because loud sounds might make him act out.

-> 𝐋𝐞𝐟𝐭𝐲

He's an introvert too, will probably go to you because you'll stay quiet and let him rest.

It's gonna be a routine of him visiting your spot and just resting there until he finally talks to you.

Lefty likes spending time with you because you don't offer anyone else to join you.

Even after he glitches out and starts acting out during a show he just might calm down when he remembers he's suppose to meet you again today.

"Again at the same time today, right? Remembr to be alone."

Immediately gets jealous when someone talks to you. Why are they there?

Lefty's so used to being alone with you that even the sight of other people near you makes him annoyed and jealous.

The first time it happened, Lefty killed that person once you were gone.

The second time it happens, your friend was left in a coma.

He would've killed more if you didn't open up to him because you acted so sweet to him.

"They keep disappearing? So what... You should only like me..."

Actually made him feel a little guilty for the victim but he got over it when you gave him a hug and maybe some kisses.

You have no idea what's going on and Lefty will make sure it continues like that.

"How about we go somewhere else? I don't want anybody to see and bother us okay? I want to stay alone with you..."

[differentkettleoffishalltogether]

#1 Fan [Part 1/2]

Summary: Spencer knows he’s seen his new neighbor somewhere before.

A/N: This was a blurb request from my sideblog that got completely out of hand so here she is as a full fic! (We’re gonna pretend like I know how OnlyFans works)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Category: Fluff & Smut 

Warnings/Includes: smut, graphic descriptions of sexual acts, masturbation (male & female), voyeurism(?), please let me know if there’s anything I’ve missed!

Word count: 2.9k

Request: “Blurb about basically the same fic as the other one except she just moved in and he recognizes her as the person he subs to on OF. She’s describing her hot neighbor- and yeah” from @thatsonezesty13​

Masterlist

Read Part 2 Here

The first time Spencer sees her in the lobby grabbing her mail he thinks he’s in a dream. Or maybe he’s seeing things. For a second he’s terrified that he’s having a hyper-realistic, yet somehow mundane, wet dream.

He’s been subscribed to her for a while. To be honest once he’d found her account he didn’t have much of a need to subscribe to anyone else. She was almost tailor made for him, it was sort of scary.

So when he saw her that day, and she smiled at him, giving him a small wave as she passed him in the hall, his heart all but stopped.

That night he checked her page. He compared the pictures of the sweet girl in the hall with the ones in front of him. The photos where she was wearing next to nothing, or sometimes nothing at all. The ones where she had her fingers inside of her panties, or her mouth.

He ended up spiraling that evening, partially forgetting why he was even looking in the first place. Until he was watching videos of her, fucking into herself with a toy until she was squirting onto her bedsheets.

The following morning when he woke up he tried to convince himself that it wasn’t her. How could it be? And if it was, would he have to stop looking? Something felt a bit perverted about that.

So he pushed the thoughts from his head. And that lasted all of 10 seconds because there was a knock on his front door. When he opened it up it was her standing there, the girl from the mailboxes, and the girl from the videos. He knew they were one and the same, who was he kidding?

“Hi!” She sticks out her hand to introduce herself, “I think I saw you the other day, I’ve just moved into the building, Y/N.”

He knows her name already, well he knows her first name, and part of him’s a little surprised it’s not fake.

He takes a moment to consider her hand, he wouldn’t usually shake a strangers hand like this but for some reason he didn’t feel like she was a stranger. The real reason her didn’t want to shake her hand was because of all the things he’d pictured her doing with them. Touching herself, touching him.

But he’s hesitated for too long, so he takes her hand, shaking it gently, “Spencer, Dr. Spencer Reid. Nice to— uh, meet you” he has to force his breaths out or they might not come. Looking at her up close, in person, she was too beautiful. And he already thought that about her pictures.

“Well it’s nice to meet you, I always like to know the folks in my building. And especially you if we’re gonna be neighbors”

“Neighbors?” He tries to stop his eyes from popping out of his head but she doesn’t seem to notice. She just nods happily.

“Yup, I’m right on the other side of that wall” she points to her right and giggles, “knock if you need me” she jokes but Spencer’s breathing stops entirely and he can only nod.

“So um, if you wanted to hang out or anything you know where to find me” she smiles at him and starts to head back to her apartment.

He’s not sure what’s come over him, but it feels like adrenaline is coursing through his entire body as he speaks.

“I’m free right now if you’re not busy?” He asks before she can get too far away but she shakes her head.

“I’ve actually gotta head out for a bit but if you’re free tomorrow do you wanna come over and see my place. I’m sure it’s probably the exact same as yours but—”

“Yes!— I mean, um, yeah, that sounds nice, cool” she laughs at him a little, probably at his eagerness, or maybe at the way he’s blushing, he can feel the heat radiating from his cheeks.

“See you then Spencer, Dr. Spencer Reid” she giggles and he’s smitten already.

— —

He’s pretty much counting down the seconds until the following evening. His mind is completely restless, he’s got no idea what to wear or how to act, or what to say.

She was just so pretty, he could barely have a 2 minute conversation with her in the hallway. How was he supposed to hang out with her for an evening.

She slips a note under his door the following afternoon:

I’m on my way out but I should be back around 8! See you then x

He wishes he didn’t stare at the little ‘x’ on the note for quite so long but he couldn’t help it. Even her handwriting was cute.

He doesn’t want to think about why he knows her already but he can’t help it. He decides that he’s not going to look at her page again, taking a cold shower as part of his preparation for that evening before agonizing over what to wear.

He settles on a purple sweater and he already feels like he’s made the wrong call somehow as he’s knocking on her door at 8pm on the dot.

“Well aren’t you punctual” she smiles at him as she pulls open the door. His stomach drops when he realizes that he recognizes the little dress she’s wearing. He’s seen her take it off before. He tries to steady his breathing but it doesn’t work super well so he just waves hello as she ushers him inside.

“I guess you got my note then” she smiles and he smiles back.

“Yeah, your— um— handwriting is really nice” he wants to slap himself in the face. What kind of complement was that?

“Thank you?” she giggles at him, “no ones ever said that before, you’re a bit of an oddball” she points him to the sofa so he sits.

When she comes to sit next to him she’s holding a bottle of wine and two glasses and he has to stop his eyes from bulging out of his head.

“Would you like a glass?” She asks and he nods his head, it probably wasn’t a great idea, but neither was any of this. She hands him a glass of wine and takes the seat next to him on the couch, turning to face him as she tucks her legs up under herself.

“So Spencer Reid, what kind of doctor are you?” she asks as she takes a sip from her own glass.

“I’m—um— I work at the FBI actually, I— I’m a profiler” he’s already conscious that he doesn’t want to bore her by harping on about work, or by rambling like he does right before people usually roll their eyes. But she doesn’t, she leans in.

“That’s so cool, well it sounds like it is anyway? Does that mean you read people or something?” her eyes look like they're after lighting up and she's smiling at him encouraging.

“Y-Yeah? It’s sort of like reading people I guess. We catch killers by getting inside their heads in a way, trying to figure out why they’re doing what they’re doing, and hopefully what they’re gonna do next so that we can stop it. It’s a little more complicated than that, but that’s the gist” he’s smiling now too, the way she’s looking at him makes him feel like he’s actually doing a sort of good job not embarrassing himself.

“So you said my handwriting was nice” she says, gears clearly turning, “Can you read anything about me from that?” she looks like she's challenging him, if he didn’t know better he might call it flirting.

“Well actually graphology—sorry— handwriting analysis has been deemed a pseudoscience by most, the validity of handwriting as evidence in court has always been dubious and many of the techniques used today are the same as those employed in Renaissance England.” he rambles but she’s still engaged when he stops speaking.

“So you’re smart smart, huh?” she smiles at him, and he nods.

“I don’t believe intelligence can be neatly quantified but I do have an IQ of 187” he feels paradoxically stupid saying that, it feels like bragging or something and he already wants to take it back.

“Wow, a doctor with an IQ of 187” she takes a second to mull it over, “What are you doing hanging out with the likes of me?” she jokes, but his eyebrows knit together, he had no idea what she did, other than that thing he knew she did.

“I wouldn't sell yourself short like that, what do you do?” he asks her, at the very least it’ll stop him from spiraling.

“I work in a vintage bookstore, the one two blocks over?” She motions behind her as she tells him, and he knows it well, in fact he spends so much time there that he’s shocked he’d never seen her before.

“You work there? I’m there all the time, how have I never noticed you before?” she chuckles at him.

“I’ve only just started, I just moved in, remember?” and he wants to slap himself again, something about being around such a pretty face slashed that impressive IQ in half.

They spend another while and the rest of the bottle of wine getting to know each other before Spencer has to call it a night. Part of him wished that she was boring, or rude, or hated him, then maybe he’d be able to quell his infatuation. But this just made it worse, now that he knew her, now that he had spoken to her and she was so sweet, so smart, so funny, and still so damn pretty. He was absolutely fucked.

— —

He swears to himself that the wont look at her page again. Now that he knew her and he liked her more than he even did before, it felt like a real invasion. Part of him still felt bad about it in general, like he should've told her right away, been up front. But the moment for that had already passed so this was his next best plan.

Until he returns home the following Friday. He’s exhausted when he crawls into bed but he’s still somehow restless, the gears still turning in is brain. So he does what he always does when he wants to forget about everything else in the world.

His muscle memory opens it up, and he’s on her page before he even realizes he's done it. And she’s posted a few new videos this week. He wishes he had better willpower, or any willpower at all, but he can’t seem to stop himself from clicking on one.

It begins with her kneeling on her bed, wearing lingerie he’d seen before, it was baby pink and it was one of his favorites. She starts by dipping her fingers into her panties, teasing herself as little moans toppled from her lips. Then she started talking.

“I’m gonna tell you guys about a little dream I had last night, well, I’ve been having it all week really” she continues to tease herself a little, her other hand coming up to grab her breast over her soft pink bra as she speaks. Her voice is smooth and perfect, if he only had the audio he’d still be turned on right now.

“It goes like this. I’m lying in this bed right here, doing something a little like this, when there’s a knock at my front door. When I get up to answer it he’s there, with his shaggy brown hair, and his huge doe eyes, and he’s got these lips that are just so fuckin’ pink. I want them all over me. He comes inside and he grabs me with those huge hands of his and he pulls me right into him before he kisses me.” she moans a little as her fingers brush right up against her clit, but Spencer’s vision has almost gone blurry.

He’s not sure he’s even breathing when she starts talking again. “Then I lead him to my bedroom, and I get him out of those clothes. He dresses like an english teacher and I wish I didn’t find it so fuckin’ hot. Sometimes in the fantasy I take his cock in my mouth, I suck him off until he’s whimpering. Other times I can’t wait, I just need him to fuck me right away.” she takes off her panties then, leaving them to one side, while she grabs a toy from her bedside table.

“I like to fuck myself with this, but all week I’ve just been imagining that it’s him. He’s just so pretty, I know his cock has to be too. I want to know what it feels like when he’s buried inside me, so fuckin’ deep” she continues to fuck herself with the toy, and he’s tuned back in now, he’s achingly hard without even noticing, his hand wrapping around his cock as he pictures the other side of that fantasy.

It doesn’t take long before he's releasing, spilling all over his hand in tandem with the video. She takes a moment to relax, steadying out her breathing before she speaks to the camera again.

“I think I have a crush guys” she gasps out, “I moved, and I think I’ve got a crush on my fuckin’ neighbor already”

Not that he needed any more confirmation, but those words hit him like a fucking train.

It’s already midnight, it’s not so late that he couldn’t go over there, but it sort of is late enough that he shouldn’t. He really can’t bring himself to care though, getting out of bed and cleaning himself up he decides to ride this uncharacteristically confident wave as far as it’ll take him.

He’s knocking on her door before he’s had a chance to second guess himself. When she answers she’s in a little robe, it’s ivory and satin, and he recognizes it too. He doesn’t say anything, neither does she. They just look at each other for a little too long, eyes taking each other in. He wants to lean in and kiss her, just like in her fantasy, but he’s not that guy.

“Hi” he breathes out instead, “I know it’s late, sorry, I shouldn’t be here—but I— I just wanna say” he pauses to take in a labored breath, “I like you a lot and I think you’re really pretty and funny and smart and would you wanna go out sometime? With me? Maybe?” he doesn't realize he’s closed this eyes until he’s got to pry them back open.

“Well that’s not how the fantasy was supposed to go” she giggles, her eyelashes fluttering as she looks up at him and the blush that’s steadily spreading up his face and neck.

“What do you— I don’t— what?” he’s stammering, doing a god awful job of playing dumb.

“In my video, you were just supposed to kiss me. This isn’t as sexy but it is a hell of a lot better”

“I don’t— I’m not—” he can’t get a sentence out, he’s got no idea what’s happening right now.

“It’s alright Dr. 187, I know it’s you” some part of him genuinely wants to throw up. Why did he think that would be an innocuous username. He was the stupidest genius alive.

“I’m sorry, I should've told you. I had no idea how, I just never thought— how could I have known you’d move in next door to me? And that you’d be even prettier in person but you’d be so cool too” he’s got to cut himself off before he really starts apologetically rambling.

“Spencer stop. It’s fine. I make that content for people to enjoy, you’ve got nothing to feel guilty about. I made that video because I wanted you to see it, that was intentional.” she reaches out and places a hand on his shoulder, and it’s more comforting than it has any right to be.

“Was that—your fantasy—the uh the video—were you telling the truth?” he can feel his heart absolutely racing in his chest as he waits for the answer. And she breaks out in a huge smile, nodding up at him.

“Every word.” he doesn’t let himself overthink it this time, he just leans right in, pressing his lips to hers. It’s soft and gentle, a sweet kiss rather than a heated one, it’s not just infatuation, there are feelings behind it now. He can feel her lips smiling against his own and his heart’s fit to burst now.

When they break apart she looks giddy with excitement, her hands come down to the little bow that holds her robe closed, toying with the ends of the tie. “I’m actually about to make a video now if you’d like to see behind the scenes?” she asks and his breath gets stuck in his throat.

“Fuck” he rasps, “You’ve got no idea how much I want to do that” he pauses, scolding himself in his head already, “But I think I wanna take you to dinner first, if you still want that?”

She’s grinning at him again, “I still really want that, tomorrow night?”

“Tomorrow night.”

-- --

Comments, reblogs, and tags are always appreciated, I love you all x

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Read Part 2 Here

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[btsxmalereaders]

♡ Meant To Be

Pairing: Hwang Hyunjin x male reader

Fluff ♡ | Requested

Word Count: 2,8k

Masterlist

Don't forget to vote on whosfan and stream

"Aren't you even a little curious about it?"

You've heard this question thousands of times already; yet, the answer for it has never changed.

"No, not really." You shrug while your friend stares at you in disbelief. "Why do you ask knowing my answer?"

"I just had the hope that you changed your mind," Jeonghan says. "You know, out of everyone in our group of friends, you're the only one who hasn't found their soulmate."

You take one last sip of your tea and sigh, "And you're telling me this to make me feel bad?"

"No! It's just... I thought that would make you feel at least curious of the person whose name is written on your wrist ever since forever."

Your eyes immediately go to your wrist, and your other hand covers the name with your sleeve.

"And I still don't get your habit of covering it, as if you don't want us to know." He laughs. "Are you trying to ignore it and expect to find them like people picture it on dramas?"

Inevitably, you roll your eyes, "I don't know what to tell you. I just think that if we're really meant to meet, then it's gonna happen... someday. I'm in no rush."

Jeonghan nods in understanding, "I guess you're right."

"I am always right." You chuckle. "Now keep telling me about Injae, how is it going with her?"

That's exactly the way you would always dissociated yourself from the topic every time you were asked about it. It wasn't something you really cared about, unlike to your friends. You were happy with the way things are right now.

"... we are taking things slow, and it's all going great. I am really happy about it." He puts on a goofy smile and his ears and cheeks quickly covers in a tinted pink.

"Aw, my little Jeonghan is in love, who would've thought?"

"Shut up, who said anything about love?" He tries to act cool, but he's still smiling and feeling nervous.

"Please," You scoff. "That smile tells me you're head over heels about her. And the way your eyes shine whenever you talk about her? Seems like love to me."

"Ha, ha, ha, you really like to make fun of me, don't you?" He sarcastically blurts. "I am dying to see how you're gonna be once you meet your soulmate. "

"Mmh, we'll see about that..."

Just when you're about to continue reading your textbook, your phone buzzes over the table. You already got distracted by talking to Jeonghan when you both were supposed to be studying for the upcoming exams, but you decide to read the messages you received.

"What's better, keep studying or going out to grab lunch with Sihwan?" You throw the question in the air, to which your friend hums.

"Your friend that works at JYP entertainment?" You nod. "I mean, anything is better than studying for socials, so if I were you, I would go."

"You say that because you want to bump into an idol, don't you?"

"If you meet Twice, could you ask them to  autograph something for me?" He says with a pout, making you laugh.

"I am not that lucky." You say and quickly start gathering your belongings to put them on your backpack. "You're meeting Injae later, right? I'll catch you up at the dorm?"

"Sure, I'll see you later."

With that being said, you start walking to the building. Even when your friend has invited you a couple of times already, you couldn't help but feel nervous. That weird feeling in your stomach and the tingling in your skin, like chills. Trying to ignore it, you pass by a nearby restaurant and order Sihwan's favorite food, carrying the bags carefully until you reach the entrance of the building.

After a few messages letting him know you're already there and a few more minutes of waiting, your friend greets you with a smile and a pat on your back, helping you with the bags in your hands and guiding you to the elevator. Unusual, but you don't say anything about it.

"I have more work than usual today, I hope you don't mind eating in my studio."

"You won't get in trouble?" You ask, feeling concerned,  but he only denies with his head as he presses a button.

"Don't worry, it's fine."

You silently follow him, trying to not look at anyone in the eyes when you walk through the hall, all the way to the studio. Anyway, no one seems to be aware that you are a regular college student. Lots of people work in there and it's hard to keep track of everyone in there.

"Come in, seriously, it's okay." He chuckles by seeing how you look around and slowly walk inside. "I've been working on the melody and guide for a new group these past hours."

The door is closed and Sihwan sits on the office chair and signals the sofa behind it for you to do the same.

"You brought food from that new restaurant down the street? Sweet." He says and opens the bag, placing the food containers on the wooden table between you two. "I've been starving."

"Working for a new group, you said?" You ask with interest, grabbing what you ordered for yourself and start eating as well.

Sihwan nods, "A girl group, they've been working hard and will debut soon, I hope you can listen to them."

"I am kinda old school, but for you I can do it, I guess..."

You two continue having a conversation about music and how you've been doing at college while sharing food. The last time you met with him was a couple of months ago, so the conversation keeps going for a while until he decides it's time to go back to work.

"Well, in that case I'll leave you. I've got to go back to study too." You say as you stand up and clean the desk.

"Mmh, okay. Thanks for this, how about we go have dinner next week? It's gonna be on me."

"Sounds great to me. Text me the details later?"

"Sure thing." He promises and smiles. "You know how to get back, right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. See you!"

As soon as you step out of the studio, you look around to make sure no one is walking in the hall, so you almost run to the elevator, not expecting that someone would bump into you as they exit one of the offices.

You fall to the ground and start apologizing immediately, feeling embarrassed.

"I am so sorry, I didn't see you." You hear them saying.

"No, I am sorry, I shouldn't have ran here." You say, and as you try to stand up, they're extending their hand to you to help you up.

You take the help and do a reverence as a thank you and clean the invisible dust on your clothing, and as you're about to walk to the elevator, their voice stops you.

"Y/N L/N?"

You stop on your tracks and finally have the courage to stare at them in the eye and realize that it's a guy, and a very handsome one, you must add. Your legs tremble at the sight, clearly stunned by seeing someone so good-looking. Your immediate thought is that he's an idol or trainee.

"Uh, do we know each ot-?"

Your question is interrupted as he shows you his wrist, and that's when you see it clearly. Your name tattoed on his skin.

"I am Hwang Hyunjin... your soulmate."

You're at the loss of words. The only thing you can do is get lost in his eyes staring back at you, looking for whatever to say, but the situation feels unreal. It's like your body is frozen.

"Hey, Hyunjin, is everything okay out there?" A third voice coming from the office brings you back down to earth.

"I am sorry, I gotta go." You quickly say the second he is distracted, running as fast as your legs allow it and get in the elevator, pressing the bottons and seeing him run in the hall one last time before the doors finally close.

You exit the building and walk to the bus stop, looking back from time to time only to realise that Hyunjin has not followed you. With your heart beating like crazy and your hands shaking you get to text Jeonghan to let him know you were on your way back to the apartment and that you had big news. He was definitely not going to believe it.

"Ow! What was that for?" You groan as Jeonghan grabbed a pillow and threw it to you.

"You just ran away?!"

"I panicked, okay? You can't put the blame on me for that!"

"With all due respect, you're an idiot." He sighs. "You met your soulmate and just ran, oh god... What are you going to do?"

"Uhh... nothing?"

Jeonghan grabs the pillow again just to throw it at you, but your hands stop him.

"Okay, okay, I'll do something about it. I'll go see him again!"

"That's a big lie, you say that as if I don't know you." He rolls his eyes.

"Yes, I am a coward. I don't know what should I do, help me." You say with a pout.

"Your friend? He may know him, don't you think?" He states as if it's so obvious.

"Ooh, you're right! I am going to have dinner with him next week, I can ask him..."

"See? It's like the universe is conspiring for you to meet again... Properly meet, I mean."

You stop listening to him as he starts complaining and making fun of the way you reacted earlier.  Your mind is now finding a good way to reach out to him.

"...And I could finally finish that song." Sihwan says with a grin and takes a sip of his beverage. "I was practically isolated and had no proper human contact for a while, so thanks to our talk and delicious food I could finish in no time after that."

You giggle, "Really? Then I am happy I could be helpful, don't forget to add me on the credits."

He laughs at the joke and continues talking, "You didn't get caught on your way out, right?"

"Well... about that."

"Wait, are you serious? Did you get in trouble?" He asks, concerned.

"No, no! It's just that... Do- do you know Hwang Hyunjin?"

It's now or never.

Sihwan seems to think about it for a second, feeling confused. "Yeah, I mean, our team is not working with them, but I've talked to him and his group a couple of times. Why? You ran into him?"

"Yeah, but also..." You lift the sleeve of your shirt, letting him see the name written on your skin.

"No way! Really?" He says with a big smile. "Hell, congratulations! How- wait, why don't you look happy about it?"

"Because I panicked and ran away before I could say something to him." You say and hide your face behind your hands out of frustration. "I need your help, hyung."

"Okay," He chuckles. "Of course, what can I do to help?"

You sigh and take out a folded paper from the pocket of your ripped jeans, looking at it for a second before handling it to your friend. "Could you give this to him?"

Sihwan takes it and nods. "Of course, I'll give it to him as soon as I can."

Now all you have to do is wait.

You plop down in the sofa and stare at the screen of your phone for the millionth time today, feeling hopeless at this point. It has been one week since you asked Sihwan to give that letter to Hyunjin, and ever since, you couldn't help but wait for a message from him, or even a call, despite you don't knowing what would you even say.

"Hmm, you haven't heard anything from him?" Jeonghan asks and sits next to you. You deny with your head and sigh. "Maybe he's busy. I heard his group is going to do a comeback soon."

"A what, now?" You ask, and your friends looks as you in disbelief.

"Don't tell me you haven't looked up for him on internet. I mean, he was in JYPE for a reason."

"Uhh..."

"Oh my god, I swear you are..." He doesn't finish his premise. Instead, he takes the phone from your hands and looks up for his name on the web. "Stray Kids, you didn't look up for him? I can't believe this, are you even on social media?"

"Shut up, let me see this."

You quickly read their information, going directly to the names and pictures of the members, quickly finding Hyunjin and realizing your friend is right. How come you didn't think of it?

"Oh yeah, here says they're releasing an album in a few days..."

"Told you." He murmurs. "Are you still going to wait for him to text you?"

"Do I have another option? I don't think I can go around the building just looking for him, even if I am with Sihwan."

"Hmm, you're right. I hope you can talk soon, though. Imagine this: you and Hyunjin together, we become friends and he gives me a tour in JYPE to meet Twice."

You roll your eyes and stand up, "You're being delusional. I'll go to sleep now, goodnight!"

"That's rude!" He groans and sees you walk away. "I hope you panick and run away again next time you see him!"

The next morning when you wake up, the first thing you do is check your phone, and your heart almost stops when you see a new message from an unknown number.

You go clean your face and take a deep breath to gather the courage you needed to finally read the long-awaited message.

With trembling hands you unlock your phone and click on the notification.

It was no surprise to see how easy was to talk with him. You two started talking on regular basis, when he was free from his schedule and when you weren't studying, which happened really late at nights.

Soon, those thousands of messages became frequent phone calls and videocalls that lasted hours, and to say that you both trusted each other with your lives was an understatement. You were still getting used to the idea that your soulmate was an idol; and it was weird to see him constantly on the internet, as of course you started following every other fan account you found on social media. Hyunjin, on the other hand, was trying to be very supportive of your studies and kept sending you messages of encouragement as well as listening to your ramblings about your career and complaints about your professors.

"So you've caught feelings for him, right? It was about time, Y/N" Jeonghan says with a shrug. "I know some soulmates only work as friends and all that, but it was pretty obvious to me that you'd end up in a romantic relationship."

"Really?"

He nods and smiles. "Of course! Are you going to ask him out?"

"I was planning to, but what if he doesn't feel the same? What if he just sees me as the friend type?"

Jeonghan hums. "Well, I think it's gonna be okay. You're soulmates for a reason, don't you think?"

You hesitate to grab your phone and open the message bar, typing a question and hoping things will go well after pressing the send button.

"Hyun, is it okay if I ask you out?

Like, on a date?"

A few minutes later you receive an answer,  needless to say, you didn't expect him to reply now, so you feel as if your heart is about to make a hole on your chest right now.

Hyun ♡

God, I was really hoping I wasn't the only one feeling this way.

Of course it's okay

I would love to go out on a date with you, Y/N ♡

You now feel at ease, the butterflies flying in your stomach and your body feeling so light as if you were floating. Is that how being in love feels like?

"He said he'd love to go on a date with me." You announce with a smile.

"See? There you go, my plan of meeting Twice soon is going awesome." He says and you give him a deathly glare. "I am kidding! But I have to say, who's smiling and blushing like a dumb right now?"

"Jeonghan!" You groan and grab a pillow to throw it at him, but he's quicker to stand up and walk away, still laughing.

Hyun ♡

Now you're not being shy, eh?

You won't run away from me when we meet?

You're the worst, you text back.

Hyun ♡

I may be

But I am your soulmate, so pretty much you can't get rid of me

He was right, but you were not intending to do that.

Because, now more than ever, you were sure things were meant to be this way. Right next to him forever.

[just-some-random-blogger]

Death By Bagel

NCT Culinary Student!Mark Lee x Fashion Design Student!Reader Summary: Mark makes a cake cause he's realized he can't lose you to some f-boy. Word Count: 3k+ Warnings: Fluff, childhood au, college au, slowish burn, slight cursing, reallllly fluffy, some broksi-dude action, typos sksksksks, etc.

R E Q U E S T my friend: mark lee, slow burn, friends to lovers

A/N: I wrote a fic that already had like 1k+ word then I LOST IT (i think i deleted it) thus this. It took me 10 years to write this msmsmkskskks. PLEASE TUMBLR IS MESSING WITH ME AND MIXED UP THE ORDER OF SOME OF THE DIALOGUE

“As a doctor, I don’t think you should be doing that,” Mark says, not even bothering to look at his patient seated rudely on the floor. Oop, he’s lying down now.

Mark huffs and looks up from the clay block he was molding on his tray, “YOU’RE SO UNPROFESSIONAL!”

Mark’s mother nearly spits out her coffee upon hearing the words of his five-year-old son. Her husband snorts, “He got that from you.”

The woman throws a look at the man and was supposed to give a snarky retort, up until the sound of the doorbell ringing. She grins from ear-to-ear and dashes to get the door.

When she comes back to the living room, she’s accompanies by another woman and a tiny version of her.

“Markie! Say hello to your Auntie!” Mark’s mom calls.

Mark from the carpeted floor looks up and blinks, examining the stranger-woman and its human-ling. Mark turns to his father who was sat on the couch and receives a nod of approval almost. Mark purses his lips and waves at the woman.

The woman waves back and then crouches down to the little girl, “Baby, say hello to Mark.”

Unwilling, she shakes her head.

“Aw come on, baby. Don’t be shy. Mark over there is a really sweet boy. I knew him when he was in his mommy’s tummy, just like Mark’s mom knew you when you were in mine. You’re the same age so you’ll get along just fine.”

With the unnecessary explanation that gave no justification to the scene whatsoever out of the way, the girl was fooled into peeping up, “Hi, Mark.”

“Hello,” Mark says, not particularly interested, as his patient was still in the midst of dying in his office. He turned to his stuffed toy called Mr. Lion and attempted to stand him up once more.

At this point, the girl makes her way to Mark.

“We’ll be back in two hours, honey. Keep an eye on the children,” Mrs. Lee tells his husband who had been occupied with TV the entire time.

“Yeah. I got this,” he smiles to his wife then goes back to watching.

The bumble bee clad figure sat down to Mark in blue and watched him play.

Mark ignored her for a few seconds, needing to assert all efforts on standing that dumb toy up. Once successful, Mark turns to her, “Do you play doctors?”

Mark was then met with the same lack on enthusiasm. She hums, “I like playing baker doctor.”

All at once, Mark gasps, “ME TOO!”

It was unbeknownst to the children it was oddly specific and the chance of this happening was pretty slim.

And in a blink of an eye, excited giggles erupt in the room, as if they had been having so much fun before this scene. It was here and there the two would become best friends to the very end.

... so I guess it means the reckoning is upon us.

“MARK LEE I SWEAR TO THE FU--” “WHAT! WHAT!?” Mark laughs.

"YOU ATE MY BAGEL! AGAIN!" I growl in a loud whisper, throwing the wrapper at him and his flat head before he could think to dodge it while he annoyingly laughs.

"I asked if I could have it though!" he says, fully knowing his sins.

I glared at him and say lowly, "I thought you were referring to my notes, bread for brains."

Mark snorts loud enough for our teacher to wake up from his nap. Once the class notices, we all pretend to be doing something productive and Mark plays it off with a cough.

"Mr. Lee." Mr. Kim says sternly, clicking his tongue, blinking his eyes rapidly.

Mark finishes coughing and turns to our seated professor, "Yes sir."

"Don't go to school if you're sick and going to cause a racket with your coughing."

Mark nods firmly and Mr. Kim closes his eyes again, mumbling, "page 65 is due tomorrow."

The entire class grumbles. Mark beside me scoffs and makes a face, "Yeah, yeah, Doyoung."

I turn to him and elbow his side.

"Whatever," Mark shakes his head, "professor bunny-teeth won't hear me."

Once class ended, we both get our things and head out for lunch. We walk to our canteen, fussing over assignments, deciding we should do it together later in our mutually free period.

I groan and narow your eyes at him as we have an argument over how he hasn't finished the essay for English, "That's not the point."

"Yo Mark!" a voice calls from afar. Mark and I turn, looking for the voice, and I spot the dimpled senior, Jung Jaehyun, in a table with the rest of his squad.

I nudge Mark and point at the pale guy seated by the corner.

Mark throws him a smile and waves. I follow closely behind him as he walks over to the table. "We're going to sit with them?" I say in some sort of gasp.

"Yeah." Mark replies simply, not bothering to turn to me, "they're cool."

I knit my brows at that and nod, "Yeah I know. But I'm not cute today."

Mark stops in his tracks and throws me a confused look, "what?"

"I didn't put any make-up on today, also I'm pretty sure there's a visible stain somewhere on my jacket, I just don't remember where."

Mark scrunches his face up again, even more confused. "What? How do you... forget a stai-- that's not the point. Why do you wanna look cute today?" He scoffs and continues lowly, "hardly as if you ever look cute."

I let out an annoyed groan and punch Mark's shoulder. "Like when you panicked when Seulgi came over and asked for notes."

Mark openes his mouth, "That is so not the same! Jaehyun's a fuck bo-"

"Just shut up already," I snap and shove him forward so he'd continue walking. "Let's not keep him waiting," I add and mumble, "also I know. Dong Sicheng however is very cute."

Mark chuckles, "he's dated every girl on the dance team."

"Okay, maybe not that cute."

"Ya, Mark," Jaehyun grins and greets the said person with a high-five and chest bump. He turns to me and speaks my name with a smile. I smile back politely and wave.

I'm about to sit next to Sicheng, but Mark shoves me and so I end up sitting on the other side of the bench table with Jaehyun. I turn to Jaehyun with a small, non-awkward smile and shoot Mark a glare. He seems unbothered though.

"So, you up for a round later?" Jaehyun asks Mark.

Mark talks over me, "you know it, dude."

Jaehyun flashes his dimple smile all the stupid girls fall for. I'm only half falling for it cause I'm only half stupid. He raises his brows, "you bought the dough, right?"

This makes me knit my brows.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really did this time," Mark mumbles quickly. "It's my turn anyway."

Jaehyun gives an off look, "that's literally what you said last time bro."

"Yo, no for real. It's in my bag, if you wanna check."

Jaehyun shakes his head when Mark begins to scramble for it, "no, Lee, it's good. We wouldn't want you friend to get dirty."

Is it just me or do you feel slimey all of a sudden?

Jaehyun then gives me a somewhat, somehow sincere smile, "so. I hear you're in fashion design."

I give a soft chuckle, "yeah. That's me."

"I could tell from a mile away. Mark looks horrible next to your getup."

I look down at my sweater and ripped jeans. Mark exclaims in protest, "shut the hell up, Jae."

I give a soft smile at Jaehyun, "don't know where that comes from but thanks I guess."

Jaehyun chuckles, "I'm kidding," he eyes Mark, "I saw your Fashion Design pin on your bag when you sat down."

"Oooohhhh, haha, okay, that makes sense."

"Ya, Jeff," Sicheng calls for Jaehyun, "it's almost time."

Jaehyun turns to his friend and nods. He turns back to me and Mark, "well, it's nice to meet you. Mark won't put a sock in it even if I beg. See you around, fashionista."

He stands and slaps Mark's back, "see ya later, broski."

"Yeah, bruh," Mark replies.

Once it's just Mark and I, I snap at him and blurt out in a whisper yell, "YOU'RE ON BROSKI LEVEL WITH JUNG JAEHYUN?!"

Mark gives me a weird face, "bruh, I think he calls the principal broski, for real."

I smack Mark, making him whine, "you know what I'm talking about, Mark! And what, are you doing drugs?!?"

He shakes his head in confusion, "Wait, what!? Who the hell told you that?"

"Uhhhhh you were talking about dough and showing up later. Sounds like you owe him money for drugs, Mark."

"??? In what universe did we even mention drugs?? Does this," he slaps his face, "look like a face of a drug addict to you?"

"A gullible idiot maybe."

Mark's jaw drops, "oh wow, okay. I'm done with this conversation." He proceeds to stand attempt to walk away. I scoff, "not on my watch bitch."

Like the true idiot that he is, Mark begins to legit run away from me, like a criminal who stole my cookies. It's embarrassing that he, a man much taller than I, could not even outrun me. I suppose I should be grateful, but this just fortifies my thoughts of him being an idiot even more.

But okay... I wasn't actually expecting this... like... Mark and Jaehyun... like... actually baking bread after school with dough Mark premade at home. Also, uh, Jaehyun looks super cute in an apron that I'm having a mental breakdown. And what's new, so does Mark.

"I can't believe you thought I was a drug dealer," Jaehyun says in a soft pout as he rolls out dough on the marble counter of his friggin large kitchen in his friggin large house. Like dang, I knew he was rich, but he's like Rich™ Rich. Rich with a golden diamond encrusted Rolex watch rich that's in a glass display rich-- wtf.

Mark wheezes in his telltale high pitched laugh as he opens a pack of unsweetened chocolate pellets, "she thought dough was some sort of metaphor or something."

"Cute," they say at the same time. Mark turns to Jaehyun in slight surprise and Jaehyun turns to me. I roll my eyes, though I feel my neck burn. I avert my attention to the scene I was sketching on my pad, Jaehyun and Mark baking croissants. I clear my throat, "I'm just making use of the single braincell between us, cause if he doesn't die falling down the stairs, he's gonna pull some idiotic stuff like baking with Jung Jaehyun."

Oddly, it's Mark that reacts to that with a, "hey!"

Jaehyun rubs his chin on his shoulder, "I also can't believe you think so little of me.'

I break a sweat but decide to answer honestly, "... ... ... You have a reputation."

"Of being a fuck boy?"

Mark loudly transfers the chocolates into a metal bowl, making the two of us snap at him. Mark makes a face, "oh gosh, sorry."

Jaehyun sighs, "well. I admit I get around, but that's only because I get dumped every time."

I raise a brow.

Jaehyun purses his lips, "nah, let's not make this weird. The croissants will be flat."

"Dude," Mark turns to him, "that's literally only because you messed up the recipe."

Jaehyun grits his teeth, "no. It's because Kun's a little teacher's pet and sabotaged me so he could get the best grade."

"No, but like Kun is really nice, he helped me with the fold techinique."

Jaehyun scoffs, "He stole me vanilla extract, Mark. Who does that?!"

"No, listen, he's cool, like, for real--"

"No, you listen, he's a little shit and--"

The two begin to bicker like a married couple, and I begin to draw inspiration form the scene to design some random sketches of wedding dresses.

I look back to the two and still can't get over the fact that I learned Jaehyun was a culinary arts major with my best friend, and that I was currently in the Jung's boojie home because I thought Mark was buying drugs from him. Not what I was expecting at all my day to go like, but I'm not mad this is how it went.

"No, no, no, no," Jaehyun says. He turns to me and points, "let's just get an outside opinion. Babe, what's your favorite color?"

"BABE?!" Mark barks.

I take a moment to reply. I blink slowly, "uhh... pink?"

Jaehyun bites his lower lip and claps his flour covered hands, "Right. Pink croissants it is."

Mark shoots him a glare and turns to me, back to Jaehyun, "she has a name."

Jaehyun nods, "yeah, and she wants pink croissants."

Mark makes a face and Jaehyun examines it, chuckling under his breath. "Wah, you two are something, huh."

No one really responds.

We began to always eat lunch with Jaehyun and his friends. It's funny cause I realized Jaehyun, although I still firmly believed he was out to get nasty with every other girl he sees, he was actually just like Mark. A total loser with a love for cooking.

"Hey," Mark says with a snippy tone.

I give him a look and suddenly receive a paper bag to my face. Mark sits on his chair next to me, as per usual. I smell the thing before I realize what it is. It's a freshly baked bagel. I perk up and smile, "Aw, you baked me a bagel?"

Mark raises his upper lip, "no. Jaehyun did."

I knit my brows, "what? Why?"

Mark narrows his brows, "do you, like, like him?"

I give him a look. I take a bite of the bagel, making Mark look at me in disbelief. I answer, "You do know I only hang with him cause you do, right?"

"Then why'd you eat the bagel then?"

"Uh, a number of reasons. 1) it's a bagel, 2) free food, 3) I'm starving, 4) it smells amazingggg."

Mark does a face, "fair. I've been meaning to ask how he does his seasoning for a while now too." He releases a breath, "and anyway, I'm pretty sure he made a bagel cause I told him you liked them. Never talking about you to him anymore though."

I look at him, "why do you talk about me so much to him anyway?"

"Uh because you're amazing," Mark says instinctively.

I feel my heart skip at that. I coo and place my hands on my chest, "wait that's really sweet."

Mark looks at me. His face begin to shift, "too bad it's a lie- haha."

I give him a look and rebut, "jerk."

"Loser."

As quickly as I found out about Jaehyun being Mark's friend, that's about as quickly as I found out he didn't like hanging out with him anymore. It's kind of a shame I never got to go back to his boojie house.

There was this one encounter I had with Jaehyun though... which was a little weird, not gonna lie.

He was waiting for me outside my Tailoring class, smiling and waving when he saw me. I Reluctantly reciprocated and walked over to him.

He releases a breath, "I've been waiting for about 20 minutes for you. I didn't know when your class would end."

I raise my brows, "you could have asked?"

"Well I would need your number for that, and that would have ruined the surprise," he pulled out a brown paper bag, reminiscing the same one Mark chucked at my face.

"I made you two this time," he smiles.

I take a moment to reply, "you don't have to make me bagels, Jaehyun."

He grabs my hand, "yeah, but I want something out of ya," he places the bagels in my hand. He proceeds to lead us off and we begin to walk down the hall.

Truth be told, it's a little scary that his ulterior motive is up in the air. Jaehyun places his hands in his pockets, "I like your dress, by the way."

I smile, "thanks. I made it."

He smiles and nods, "right. That makes sense as to why it suits you well."

I can't help but blush at that, and simultaneously feel conscious when I realize a bunch of girls in my course are looking at me and Jaehyun as we strut down the hall.

"So, what did you want, Jaehyun?"

"Well, I clearly wanted to ask you out."

"..."

"..."

Jaehyun smiles and give a soft laugh, "is it so ground breaking?"

"... Uh..."

He sniggers, "hey, you can say no. I mean I hope you don't but you can." Jaehyun leans in and raises his hands, "I won't like it, but a man should take rejection from a lady well."

I turn to him as he straightens up. I turn to the bagels he made me and bring it back to him. He laughs, "no, I made them for you really. It's not poisoned, in fact it's made with love."

I visibly react to that, which makes Jaehyun wheeze. I can't help but laugh back, "that was hella tacky."

"Worth a shot though," he says. "Good luck with Mark."

I look at him with silence and he chuckles, "ya, you can't fool me."

I'm about to retort but then Jaehyun gets called by one of the frats dudes I identify as Johnny Seo. Jaehyun does a curtsy and clicks his tongue, "see ya later babez."

"You know, I would have said yes if you didn't do stuff like that."

Jaehyun purses his lips, "no you wouldn't."

I shrug, "worth a shot though."

Jaehyun places a hand on his chest, dramatically calling, "Uh, rejection hurts, man."

Yeah, I never went to Jaehyun's boojie house ever again.

Silver lining though was Mark's dorm smelled equally as nice because of all the food he cooks, although it came with a whiff of axe body spray from his roommate, Lucas. It's cool though, he was almost never around for me to smell it in its whole intensity.

"Aite," Mark calls from his side of the dorm. I perk up from the two seater dining table they had and turn to Mark who was covering the cake he was making for his finals.

"Don't, like, peek, okay. I want you to see the cake all at once and give me your honest reaction to it. Please, like, all my lives kinda depend on it."

"How many lives do you have?"

"9, I'm pretty sure."

I stand from my seat, "not you faking your life as a cat, but get it I guess."

Mark raises a hand at me as I walk over, "can you not, I'm high-key panicking right now."

"Over what? You literally made a box of donuts for your midterms and it looked better than Misty Mreme! I'm sure your cake is hot."

"It was in the minifridge for a day. I mean it barely fit cause of all of Lucas' mountain dew."

I groan, "just show me it, Mark Lee!"

Mark whined and dashes over to me, grabbing my shoulders, "okay, but like, don't be mean about it. I swear, I might cry."

I give a sound and fake cough, "it's ugly."

Mark doesn't respond to that particular jab, "I'm serioussss. Please be kind, okay?"

I look at Mark's nervous face and give a soft pout, "Markie, please, not that I think it would be ugly, but I promise you don't have to be nervous about my reaction."

He isn't soothed by that, but he does release a sigh, "okay. So for context, Mr. Moon wanted the cake to be one or two tiers, but I went with one, cause there aint no way I'm going to the other side of the campus to freeze a two tiered cake. Then, the theme was something from your childhood, so, I, uh, thought this was fitting. The exam is 60 percent decoration, 40 percent taste by the way."

Mark gives me a hesitant look, but steps way for me to see it. I then see a heart shaped, medium sized cake in my favorite pastel pink color. By the top there's a little boy on the floor playing with a toy oven set and little girl in a bumble bee dress, holding a stethoscope. At the bottom of the cake, there were jelly letters spelling out, "I like you."

I cup my cheeks at the sight of it and feel my eyes start to well at the sentiment.

Wait... was this really happening?

Mark heaves in and out, "okay, so like when Jaehyun began to like hit on you, that sucked pretty hard because he's known for getting girls and I thought maybe he'd get you too and I got panicky. Anyway, I....... have liked you since we were kids... And... I know you probably don't feel the same way but I have to try, you know.... Yolo."

My feel my tears retract from what I hear. I rub my eyes. I turn to Mark and find his nervous face. "Did you just say yolo in your confession, Mark?"

He looks like he's about to throw up.

I can't help but chuckle and pout, "dude..."

I prolong the moment. Mark gets even more nervous as he repeats softly, "dude..."

"We could have dated in grade school all this time."

It takes a moment to register in his head.

Like, a really long moment.

I sigh, "Mark! I like you too, dummy."

He freezes and blinks. His face begins to burn. He breaks into a soft smile, "nice."

I break into a laugh.

"... Uh... So... Can I like... Kiss you?"

I snort and feel my own cheeks begin to burn, "I think you should refrigerate your cake first."

Mark snaps out of this trance, "oh shoot, you-" I give him a quick peck on the lips.

He is dumbfounded.

I feel butterflies go wild in my stomach.

"I'll wait over there for when you've fixed that."

Mark watches as I walk away, "yooo.... That's not fair though."