#yes i know i have the same jack headcanon as like 90% of the fandom

[libra-cant-just-dance]

Got distracted while making my icon for this blog so here, have some headcanon pride flags for my faves because cringe culture is dead and I can do whatever I want

[keagan-ashleigh]

Ooooh damn, I just watched the finale (couldn't watch it live, had to wait a little bit, that's why I wasn't on Tumblr yesterday and today, I know better than login in when they're is an absolute certainty to get spoiled). I am such a mess right know, I am crying my heart out for real, sobbing and sobbing.

Sure it wasn't exactly the ending I was hoping for. But it's okay. I was telling it the other day my hope about getting a destiel happy ending was actually real low because I am disillusioned and Jensen's acting in episode 18 screamed that it was a definite goodbye to Castiel, his tears and lack of fire reaction he always had when Sam or Cas died and was fighting to get them back, it was just so solemn, it was telling "this time there is no defying death", so that's really what was getting my hope low. And at some point I saw Misha's post saying something around the lines of "you did that guys", I knew he wasn't in the episode, so I made my peace with not having my ideal ending before hitting play.

I expected Dean to die (just not like that, to be honest) because Jensen told that he wasn't feeling ok with his ending and knowing the context about lgbt representation (I didn't think they were going to give us a canon destiel, I was hoping for it but I know most shows don't do that and that Supernatural wasn't going to be different on that end) I sort of knew it wasn't to be Dean and Castiel flying away, the only logical and probable explanation was that Dean died. But I did wanted Castiel to just be there, if not on earth then in heaven. I didn't even mind if they weren't going to be romantically together, I just wanted them to be together. They didn't. They didn't go the extra mile, but I know how it is, despite great show being more inclusive I know there is so little shows willing to go that extra mile, so no, I wasn't expecting it, I was hoping that maybe, you know.

I wanted so much more than such a fast ending for him and for Castiel, it was disappointing on that point, yet I feel like it's ok. I wasn't even expecting the show to make Castiel speak of his love for Dean, to make him gay, they delivered more than I was hoping for just a week ago. It's not perfect, it's not ideal, but it's ok. They still ended it the way that was right for Dean and Sam, the first being at peace with himself and the world, feeling loved and deserving of happiness, the ultimate happiness that is heaven, with the certainty of an eternity spent with the people he loved, minus Cas (but I will headcanon them reuniting cause if he helped reshape heaven that means that he is ok, that Jack brought him back from the empty), resting at last, him the soldier who could never stop fighting, it fits him well that in the end he stopped, because it was right; the latter having the life he dreamed of, with normalcy, a family, a dog, a steady and fufilling life, before finding back his brother in heaven.

I understand what Jensen meant. It doesn't feel right at first, no he can't go like that, so fast, so miserably, but then it feels appropriate and respectful of who the character had been for 15 seasons. He deserved heaven, he deserved rest, he deserved self love. Sam deserved a life. We never hoped for less for those characters, so yes we may feel robbed because we didn't imagined it like this. But it was nonetheless beautiful and right.

The finale felt not epic, no big fight, not a super dramatic way of dying in comparison to every over death they got us used to in this show, but they did got an epic finale in episode 19, this was way more intimate and I think it's exactly what it needed to be.

I just wished they went the extra mile with Cas, I wish they just brought him back. My only disappointment was that they didn't bring him back at all. But I can't complain because him finding happiness in loving and sacrificing for Dean was in character, even though it would have been better if he could have just been around more. Being with humans, with Sam and Dean, then being a father for Jack, taught him so much about love, he learned to be free, to stand for himself and for the ones he love, so, it's not actually the worst way to end his character arc. I know people are disappointed, I understand why, I am not 100% happy I this ending either,but it was a logical end for his character, if not the perfect ending for him. It still makes sense, no matter how wrong it does feel from our perspective.

So, in the end, I am not disappointed. I am not angry at them for not making destiel canon. They actually gave way more than what I was ever hoping for with that show and with television in general.

They changed the game. If I am not mistaking destiel is the first ship that was so iconic that if you ask people to tell you about fandom and shipping Supernatural and destiel pop into minds, I personally can't think of any ship prior to the show that has been so visible in and outside the realm of fandom, perhaps in Star Trek, but at the time fandoms were a discreet thing, it wasn't at the same level of visibility. They changed the fandom experience, fans and cast, outside and inside the show by acknowledging fandom and paying it their respect, they changed the fandom experience.

They left an imprint because the fandom has been so important that it gave the very loud and clear message "this is what we want, we want you to make efforts to give a better representation". I'm not saying it is just spn that has had this impact, this wouldn't be fair to all the other shows that were making efforts, I don't know all of them but this is the first time that a gay ship is so iconic that you know about it even if you don't even watch the show. I remember what tv shows looked like around 2005, I was 17 back then, there was that dynamic het hero and het love interest and even though shows were progressing, they weren't flirting that much with the idea of two male leads being in a romantic dynamic and they weren't giving two shits about their fandom and about acknowledging their importance and the importance of their work to enrich the whole experience. SPN went the extra mile for that period's standard, that is something we can't brush away.

That doesn't mean we can't criticise the queerbaiting, of course not, it doesn't mean we got to praise it no matter what, I don't say they were perfect, they weren't and they are to blame on some levels, that just means that no matter what, Supernatural changed the dynamic in television. Shipping existed before but never before was it so much vocal and present outside the secrecy of fandoms. We owe them to recognize the good they indeed did. They really did way more than 90% of the shows out there, especially from shows that started around mid 00's, in terms of representation and in terms of allowing fandom, and especially fanwork, to be respected. I'm not saying we owe only to Supernatural the fact that more and more shows give us better representation and respect, I am saying that they had a significative influence. We have to look at what was television and fandom before to really see what drastically changed thanks to that show and some others.

They didn't go all the way to making it canon but they did something spectacular in delivering a bit of what we were asking for. I wasn't expecting them to ever acknowledging destiel on screen at all. They did. And I was gobsmacked because I never thought they would. They have turned some of the queerbaiting into foreshadowing, and that my dudes is huge. Yes there is job to do to get rid of the kill your gays and making more than half of the ship canon, but they've set a standard. From such an iconic show to make that step is sending a message. I know other shows have canon gay ships, maybe Supernatural showrunners got inspired by them, but despite the fact I love those show dearly and passionately we have to recognize they aren't having the same cultural imprint that Supernatural is having.

This is in the end let's say, not satisfying because they could have been even more progressive and even more right to the characters, but it is progress, and it is right to the characters. And I am happy for it. I am not mad. This is not meaningless.

I can't express how thankful I am for this show that has been such a comfort in my life, a show that has introduced me to the world of fandoms, a show that has brought me so much joy and relief from life, a show that has been there to give me a sense of being part of a community, a show that has introduced me to the concept of shipping, a show that has actually taught me a lot about bisexuality and introduced to the lgbt community, a show that taught me about deserving love and to be true to myself, a show that has inspired me as a writer, as a person, a show that has held my hand for 15 long years. I can't be mad. I can't feel resentment because my ship isn't canon, because in the end they told me it was right to write my own story about the characters and that I was right to believe in it. I can't be mad at this ending even though I wished it was different, because it still is a respectful goodbye, and it feels like they told me "that's okay". I can go now. I can turn this page and start to write another one. They have changed me, they have helped me become the person I am today, I learned so much through those characters.

I owe them a thank you, a billions of thank yous, not a "you could have done better".

So, that is how I feel. I understand people are unhappy and it is important that we address what is wrong with it, but I think we should be grateful for everything they did delivered during those 15 years, and they delivered... so much.

[sternenteile]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

tagged by:  @battleshell​  ;  we all care blue, u do, i do, we all do tagging:  holy shit my whole dash because exorbitantly long memes are the BEST. i aint even sarcastic when i say that, i love this kind of shit. u GOTTA do it.

my muse is:  canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. [ he is in two fandoms, in fact. he is both a fan-favorite from super mario rpg, the very first in the line of mario rpgs we’ve gotten over the years, and a pretty popular smash bros. request. he even got a mii costume in 4 and a spirit in ultimate as a result of the love. he’s very beloved, to the point that i’d, even as a geno fan myself, deem him a bit overrated. why? b/c where is all the love for all the other smrpg characters!!! they are all good. i love them all. ]

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. [ i mean ?? i’ve met and seen many people who have/had crushes on geno so ??????? but i don’t think it’s like. that. ghfskjhgsg??? ]

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. [ oh yes, he is undeniably very strong, both in personality and in battle. he is often seen as the level-headed straight man of the party in smrpg (which, in the case of my geno, is... semi-applicable LMAO), a star spirit with unwavering bravery and confidence. his in-battle stats are also pretty crazy, favoring geno as a glass cannon and enemy sweeper. he is also the only character in the game to have a move that will insta-kill any enemy besides bosses. well, and exor. idk why exor, but there ya go. needless to say, pretty much everyone in the fandom agrees that geno is a powerful mfer. why wouldn’t a literal, living star be? ]

Are they underrated?  YES / NO / IDK. [ as i mentioned before, there is no shortage of him being underrated in the fanbase. i’d even say he’s a little overrated. some people treat smrpg as ‘that game with geno in it’ rather than everything else it has going for it. i love star boye as much as the next gal, but pls appreciate smrpg as a whole. it’s such a vibrant game with a colorful world of characters to love. ]

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO. [ he is actually, completely central to the plot. the subtitle of smrpg is legend of the seven stars, which directly relates to geno’s core mission: to find the seven star pieces and restore star road. the rest of the gang had different ambitions, but they all ended up banding together over geno’s objective. one could argue he mostly is the exposition-granter and could be replaced with anyone else, but i feel he’s irreplaceable. smrpg would be so different without him, like it or not. ]

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. [ i wouldn’t say he is the protagonist, obviously, as that is very much mario’s spot. that being said, he is a pretty obvious deuteragonist for smrpg, given how much the plot revolves around him. he’s relevant to mario, for sure, as well as peach, mallow, and bowser. he’s relevant to many characters beyond them. he represents the fight for everyone’s wishes to be able to come true. he’s, uh... very relevant rofl. ]

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. [ the star spirits are somewhat known in the mario universe as entities capable of granting wishes, kinda like fabled gods with a tinge more evidence and reality to them. geno himself isn’t a known name, not like the seven star spirits of star haven, but his people are decently known. he, however, is not. ]

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. [ he is basically the epitome of ‘good’ until you overthink star society like i do lol. not all wishes can be granted, what constitutes as a ‘good wish’ is subjective, why some good wishes still can’t be granted anyway, etc. it puts him more towards neutral good with a dash of lawful and an undercurrent of chaotic, given his rebellion against his superiors. ]

How strictly do you follow canon?  —  i mean, it isn’t hard to be strict to mario canon when there isn’t that much of a foundation to work with anyway lol. it’s all rather simplistic until you get into the nitty gritty of it ??? that said, geno is built on a lot of headcanon. like, a lot a lot. star society and its rules for star spirits of his kind, his relationship with rosalina (a matronly figure), his relationship with the seven star spirits, the fleshing-out of his basic personality traits shown in smrpg, etc.? headcanon upon headcanon.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  a star possessing the form of a children’s toy, like toy story but with more cosmic pew-pew. a chill and sassy guy still learning the ways of how earth (and other planets) work on a more intimate level, meaning there will be lots of adorkable moments as this curious one makes discoveries. sometimes attempts to innovate with what he learns to be ‘ahead of the curve’, leading to interesting results. (he likes to sip bubble tea, but replace the tapioca pearls with star bits. good result. mopping a counter-top because it would be ‘more efficient’? not-so-good result, got him lots of stares.) straight outta the 90′s, so be ready some of that rad 90′s slang and know-how from back in the day. (what do u mean they’re bringing back dunkaroos? that’d mean they stOPPED MAKING THEM?!?) very intrigued with new technology, became stuck to his smartphone upon discovering them, fell into the time-sink that is animal videos on youtube. he’s humble and likes to relax, have a good time, and relax w/ the squad. video games, netflix binges, the whole nine yards, he’s gotchu. he is a hell of a fighter and loves to fight, as well. help him push his abilities, and he’ll help you with yours.  likes being a little shit for fun, only to an extent (harmless moments of impishness, not serious, hurtful pranks). has a sense of humor that is easy to tickle, even with stupid dad jokes and classic puns. the brother-friend that will fire lasers at ur enemies for u. likes to play violin. cute. super cutie. v. tiny in his star form. almost five whole feet of sparkly, twinkly fun. likes super soakers.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  despite intrigue to learn more about the world around him, there is only so much that he does know. societal norms are often beyond him, and there are just so, so many earth hobbies he is not aware of. without handing him a bone, it makes him a little more limited than someone who’s more savvy. he is prime slice-of-life material, but that may also make things rather dull in an rp without an extra twist to spice things up. (thankfully, his being a total SNOT sometimes helps with that.) in canon and strictly in canon, geno doesn’t really have much personality, something that this geno has plenty more fleshed out. a good chunk of fandom finds him to be incredibly boring and droll, to which i personally disagree, as there are little things in smrpg that hint towards him having more to explore.

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  funnily enough, seeing smash bros. fandom railing on geno fans + hyping him up all at the same time made me revisit smrpg after having only played it as a teenager. i expected geno to be a boring slate of nothing like fandom often portrays him, but i found that i was terribly wrong. with a newfound perspective on him, noting little details that defied my expectations for this li’l guy, i decided to give him a geno whirl and see what kind of expansion i could do with his character. the amount of lore i came up with him and started wondering about piled on and on and on, and i realized that he had so much more potential than what nintendo and square properly tapped into. (some of it is also a matter of being timely, though, meaning later mario materials such as rosalina, star haven, etc.) i wanted to flex out that potential and see how much i could fill this little doll up with, and lo and behold, i rp him today with extensive amounts of development poured into him with love. to put it simply, there was so much untapped potential that i wanted to share with the world, to show geno the love and in-depth exploration that he deserved, to show that he was more than what he was given.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  chattering about mario lore with pals, whether it relates to geno or not, reading, watching shows or videos that remind me of him, learning more about cosmology and the universe we live in (and boy, i’ve learned a lot of neat stuff!), revisiting my childhood (the 90′s) since it’s very geno-appropriate, drawing The Boye, literally anything to do with playing, watching, or doing ANYTHING with smrpg/paper mario 64/smg1&2, and probs a lot more. i’ve got a lot of fuel in me for this guy lol.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? [ on one hand, of course i hope that i do! on the other hand, i mean... nintendo and square don’t do jack for him, so i think almost anyone can do him more justice than they have, lbr. it’s... not hard... :’) ]

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / SORT OF? [ ok i gotta just copy-paste what blue said in her response because my god, she nailed it: “you know when you have a concept and in your own mind you can see it clearly, without fuzziness or confusion, but you can’t seem to put it clearly into words without it turning into an essay because you need to connect all the other points that’s in the single concept you envisioned? yea.” basically, this but in spades, because i have a huge amount of headcanon and lore that i’ve either not gotten around to writing about yet or am purposefully staving off (wink wink). i have written a lot for him, though! it’s just... comparatively so little to what all i’ve thought up over-time. ]

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO [ not! often! enough!!! ]

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO [ all i know is fine dining, breathing, and adorkable starman. ]

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / SORT OF? [ funny enough, i’m pretty damn confident in my portrayal, albeit still very modest. i mean, i am at least confident that i give depth to a character that had so little, and i feel like geno is just... real. (not literally ofc i mean like, he FEELS realistic.) he’s got character perks, character flaws, strengths, weaknesses, personal issues, ongoing obstacles, relatable themes where appropriate, interests, knowledge (or lack thereof), daily routines... i could go on. if nothing else, i at least feel good about trying to make geno feel less like some exposition character and more like a person. considering he wants to achieve personhood that most of his kind never gets to find, it’s oddly poetic lmao. ]

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO. [ eehhhhh. i mean, i guess it’s fiiiIIINE, but i often feel like i lack a certain pizzazz, something that’ll keep people interested and intrigued with what i write, giving enough material for them to adequately bounce back. on the same token, i like to babble with my prose, so i often worry about going on and on and on way too much. stale, quantity over quality, substance-less writing is what i fuss over the most. ;; ]

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. / SORTA. [ sensitive to empathy and other peoples’ emotions, yes. i’m an insanely empathetic person, and i have a lot of love to give. that said, with only few exceptions, i have a pretty iron-clad skin. sometimes, i daresay it’s to the point that i often misjudge what other people can take, and i feel i can end up being too harsh and forward. that being said, it is also a good thing at times. harsh or not, if i feel a certain way about something, i make that shit known and i make it known as loud as it necessarily should be. i don’t beat around the bush; rather, if i have a beef, i will make that beef known. consequently, if i have love to give, you damn well better be ready to swim in a pool of hearts and your favorite kind of cookie (if applicable). ]

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  as long as it isn’t complaints with lack of substance/reasoning, yes! even if i may not always agree and may take things with a grain of salt, i am insanely receptive to criticism, even over the pickiest things. it’s something i’ve grown used to due to prior rp venues being particularly harsh. i will never throw a fit or act like a child if there is something i could do better with geno. in fact, there always will be! i’m not perfect, and i love to hear about ways i can improve and do better. it’s paramount in a hobby like this.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  LET’S-A FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  sure, i’d love to know! it can make for some neat conversation!! c:

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  that’s a’ight. i’m sure there are things about my geno that won’t resonate with everyone, especially given he’s a very sentimental character for old fogies like me lol. as long as there is no disrespect thrown this way, it’s all good. this stuff is subjective, after all.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  oh, a lot of people really hate geno lol, but i’m guessing this means personal portrayal only. in such a case, i would be curious as to why, admittedly, but i acknowledge that i am not owed anyone’s reasoning. if they really, absolutely hate my geno, then it’s their prerogative, whether they want to give a reason why or not. again, it’s all good unless immaturity and disrespect rears its head. i won’t tolerate that and will ignore any such behavior.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  sure, it happens to the best of us!

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  i’d like to think that i am! i’ve often had people tell me that i’m very nice and mature, but of course, i have no right to say how i come off to other people. that is not in my territory to judge, only theirs. that being said, it’s not easy to upset me or anger me, and i’m more often willing to listen and pal around than not. i’m the living embodiment of (shrug). i am just (shrug).

[docholligay]

oathkeeper-of-tarth replied to your post “The Cat Came Back”

Omg finally… time to sink my teeth into this beauty… and FUCK the very first line, ahahah, the shrapnel talking, god, Ana, you disaster, ilu "It was a new Overwatch, her daughter’s Overwatch", the "cobbled-together Overwatch"... the best thing ever tbh. Bury me in found family feelings with these losers.

Thank you and YES, them all becoming some sort of loving, annoyed, but TOGETHER kind of a family is really important to me, this idea that these 5 weirdos (7 if you count jack and ana, and who knows how many eventually) try to make something, try to do something better than what came before, I am VERY into that. 

Lena, darling, would you like some popcorn?

Let’s be real though WE ARE ALL LENA OXTON IN THIS

This conversation, as well as the consideration of which language is spoken when, is everything, but "I certainly thought you could do that. But I did not think you could do that to me." just... *damn*.

Thank you!! With this conflict between Ana and Pharah, I was like, “Oh man, I have a golden opportunity here that i don’t normally get” Part of the reason I love overwatch is the wide diversity of the cast gives me a chance do to things with it that I don’t always get. And yes! I haven’t gotten to write as much about Pharah as I’d like, but the idea that she had so many complicated feelings about her mother, but always somehow, trusted that her mother loved her even if they didn’t get along? AND NOW??? THIS??? That’s my shit, gotta say. 

“Get out of my house, Ana Amari. The Shrike.” me at my laptop, very softly: holy shit

THANK!!!

That ending! Their Overwatch! There it issss! I am not being very articulate here but as much as I love the whole thing and the Amari Mama Drama, the way you’ve got the thread of the New Overwatch running through and tying together each of the segments is my favourite.

Thank you! It’s so important to me that Tracer and Pharah’s Overwatch is  something different, that THEY are different than the people that came before them, that they are BETTER. 

seolh replied to your post “The Cat Came Back”

And then Tracer being absolutely shocked and slamming the door in her face. But is it just shock at seeing Ana? Is there a moment of, "Ana is dead but I'm seeing her I can't be seeing her did my CA malfunction? I can't be lost in time not again not again." Or Tracer just thinking she's seen a ghost, because I totally believe that Tracer at least somewhat believes in ghosts.

Oh I think she does too. ANd yes ahaha, just being like, “WELP IT’S HAPPENED FINALLY CRACKED” and having to wait a few seconds before she looks out the door again. 

“Winston walked out of the kitchen into the living room, turned around, and walked right back into it.” LITERAL LOL . Pharah is so pissed and it's beautiful.  And Tracer watching the ‘show’ is amazing xD.  And Tracer watching the ‘show’ is amazing xD  Lena being THRILLED that the Amari-anger is not directed at her is so so good

Thank you!! I had so much fun writing the structure of this whole scene, with the really emotional parts and the really funny moment in the kitchen and with Lena

I absolutely love how conflicted and complicated Ana is and how angry Pharah is. And she is absolutely right to be furious. But seeing it from Ana’s side also makes it ache in the BEST WAY, because she made a very human decision and is having difficulty owning up to the fact that it was a bad decision.  It’s painful no matter which way you look at it and it’s DELICIOUS.

Yes!! I am, and will always be, “Ana Amari did a LOT of things wrong” but I also understand how hard it can be, and that’s why that whole line of “You make a decision for long enough, you decide the only thing to do is keep making it” like I GET IT, I just object to fandom generally letting her off the hook for it ahaha. 

AND THEN YOU FINISH OFF WITH PHARAH / MERCY FEELS AND I AM DYING.  God I love them SO MUCH and you write them SO WELL and now I have FEELINGS and aaaaahhhhh .  Mercy the healer who can't heal this hurt I love it SO MUCH. Healing is what she DOES, but her strong beautiful wife is CRYING and she can't fix it and NNNNGGGHHHH

Thank you!! I love writing Pharah/Mercy stuff because I always know you’ll love it, so I HAD to add them in this ahah. And yes, I feel like Pharah CRYING is some sort of defcon five situation, what the fuck do you even do? And Mercy would happily fucking pop Ana in the face right now if she got the chance because How dare!!!! She!!! (Maybe someday i will write Mercy trying to gather her courage to yell at ana ahaha) 

Also Lena is FABULOUS in this and the crunch of the potato chips is A+ (and then Winston saving her from certain death).

Winston is a solid 90% of Lena’s survival instinct ahaha

Also Pharah and her five parents is YES and Mercy reminding her of the good is good yes.  Also Pharah and her five parents is YES and Mercy reminding her of the good is good yes AND MERCY THE HEALER FIGHTING FOR PHARAH THE SOLDIER SO MUCH YES

Yes! Pharah being raising by five well-meaning people but basically SAM WAS THE BEST CHOICE HERE LBR is my fav headcanon in life, and Pharah having to deal with the fact that these people she loved so so much are EXTREMELY FLAWED, and the pain of that, A+. AND YES, Mercy is not a fighter by nature but for Pharah she can do ANYTHING. 

I feel like I have more to say that's actually comments and not screaming but the words won't come.  Not at all related to the double punch of FEELINGS because Amari drama and Pharah / Mercy. NOPE NOT AT ALL.

No this is my whole life and THANK YOU

"I speak Arabic as Fareeha does German: Badly, and for love.” This line is so sweet and makes me smile SO HARD.

Thank you! That line I wrote a long, long, time ago, not even knowing where I’d use it, but the idea of the two of them stumbling over each other’s languages FOR EACH OTHER was just too much for me. 

God the Pharah/Ana interactions are EXQUISITE it makes me ache in the best way

Thank you! I’ve been sitting on this a LONG TIME, I was really nervous about it? So I’ve been so pleased to see people enjoying it

I do enjoy how Jack is basically. Oh. *blinks* This is good.

At this point I think of jack as being a lonely fuck up, and does he even deserve to reach out to anyone, with the massive amount of mistakes he’s made? And then Ana is there, and she is an old friend, and she is ALSO a fuckup, and they have each other now. 

This doesn’t hit me in the same way that your Pharah / Mercy-focused fics do (nor did I expect it to) but it’s so INTERESTING and SO GOOD and there are still a massive boatload of FEELINGS and just YES

Thank you so much for liking it!!

[losingsiide-archive-blog]

eyyy so ya boi made it to 200!! i think these are still cool? who knows, i’m not hip with the kids. but i made this blog just a few months ago and hit 100 in a few weeks, and now i’m here. honestly coming back to rp after?? god knows how long?? was one of the few good decisions i’ve made. i mean, granted, i made plenty of bad ones afterwards ( skipping class to talk about headcanons, writing 2500+ words in a little under an hour, like 90% of the stuff that makes me cool ) but it was well worth it. i came into the sherlock rp community cautiously, honestly expecting to leave within two weeks, but i’ve made some really good friends who are incredibly important to me. i love them a lot you guys.

RAIN MARS INSERT SHITTY JOKE HERE,

so. i’ve talked about kacie a thousand times, i know i don’t have to. you guys know how much i love her. but i say it because it’s important. kacie and i built a friendship off of loving each other and rolling our eyes at everyone else; at the end of the day, she’s who i have. she’s my best friend, my soulmate, my partner in far too many bad decisions but all of my good ones, the only person who call my on my bullshit and encourages me to be my saltiest self in the same breath. for three years, i’ve gotten nothing but love and support from her. so please excuse my outward affection, all the appreciation posts, all the replies on her munday photos and every ooc post, how i yell about rain to people who don’t even know who kacie is, i’m just trying to make up for three years of her doing the same for me. nobody else can make me laugh like she does, the kind that leaves me gasping for air and smiling so hard my entire face hurts, and nobody else can make me go from angry and annoyed and frustrated to flopping over onto my bed and pressing my face into a pillow because her anger at whatever is bothering me, no matter how small or how little she knows about it, makes my chest hurt from all the love. so just, like, let me have this. even though she’s gonna read this and call me gay, and i’ll tell her i’m just gay for her, and she’ll send me a heart and i’ll send her one and know i made her smile, and that will be enough // @fxrechild​

MY ENGLAND MOM, MARTHA,

i guess i should probably start at the beginning. sophie was my first friend in the fandom. my rp blogs don’t last long without partners to write with. i get bored easily. so to everyone who likes my blog, everyone i met after sophie, you have her to thank for my being here. sophie let me rant to her about headcanons i had barely developed, back when i had even less of a grasp on sherlock than i do now. she was my rp partner, and then somewhere along the way she became a lot more than that. she’s a teacher. if there’s one thing i’ve learned in all my years, all sixteen of them ( guys help i’m so old ), it’s that teachers are very much born. it’s not an occupation, it’s a type of person. sophie just happens to be employed as a teacher as well as being one. i know i’m not making sense so let me explain: few people are capable of the warmth that sophie displays, and even fewer are capable of directing it towards someone so far away, and then, once you have that, you have to actually be able to teach something. for sophie, it’s how to care. sophie is, without a doubt, the first person i think of when someone says compassion or kindness or love. she’s there for me when i’m anxious, sad, upset, but she’s there for the good times too, for all the smiles and the laughter, and she never misses a beat. i said once that she was family and that still stands. some people are just too important to simply say ‘friend’ // @adler-thewoman​

MY ANGST QUEEN SUPREME,

i’m half-tempted to leave it at that, actually. i swear, allison has made cry as many times as she’s made me smile. allison is incredibly involved in her character. she understands abigail in a way that shocks me every day, but it makes her wonderful to talk to. her dedication to her character is, in short, absolutely beautiful to see. allison is absolutely beautiful to see in general. she’s chill as hell, which is great for days when i’m too tired to do much else but talk about sherlock and abigail being cute together. she doesn’t get nearly enough sleep but that’s okay; it means she’s always awake when i need her. allison is, in every respect, one of the best listeners i have ever had the pleasure of being friends with. whether it’s long-winded headcanons about our muses or just my irl problems, she’s here, ready to talk. and when i need time alone, she understands. i can’t explain how important that is. being able to listen, to understand, these are skills i’ve struggled with my whole life and allison makes it look easy. when i’ve had a long day and i want quiet, chill time, she’s who i go to. my gratitude for her patience and time can’t be expressed in words // @suumuxor​

MY ACTUAL IRL ANGEL,

i don’t actually write with jack all that much. jack isn’t someone i have to write with to maintain our friendship. there’s genuine affection here. when i come home, when i’m sad, when i wake up, he’s the person i go to. i couldn’t tell you why to save my life. i’ve tried a thousand times, written jack novels about why he means so much to me, but it’s the kind of thing i can’t put into words. but i’ll try one more time. half the time he’s making a joke, the other half he’s being one of the most affectionate people i’ve ever met. i can’t think of what i could have done to earn his singular love, so i assume he’s like that with everyone. as funny as he is, as much as he makes me laugh and roll my eyes in equal measure, it’s that ridiculously thoughtful, caring part that fascinates me. i still haven’t quite figured jack out, but i’m gonna. i guess until then, that’s my excuse to keep talking to him // @psychopatx

MY PERSONAL RAY OF SUNSHINE,

every day i call her my sunshine and every day she tells me i’m wrong. i wonder when she’s gonna figure out that i’ve never been so right about anything. zoe is an amazing person. incredibly strong and determined, intelligent as hell and passionate about what she does. she loves mary like i love her, and that’s saying a lot. even without knowing i’m in a bad mood or in a bad place, she cheers me up, and has never failed to do so. being around her is like being outside in the perfect weather in your favorite place. it’s impossible to not feel better when you talk to her. she’s such a beautiful person, insanely caring and always ready to help her friends. she cares so deeply for the people she chooses to surround herself with, and never fails to make me feel loved, which is hard to do. if i can be half of what she is to me, i’ll consider myself a success // @traiinedassassiin

&& MY PARTNER IN MY SLOW DESCENT TO HELL.

sometimes michelle is indistinguishable from john watson. i haven’t told her this yet, but sometimes she says things or does things and i sit back and wonder if that’s why she’s so good at writing him. here’s the thing about john watson: sherlock pulls a lot of bullshit. he does a lot of stupid things, he’s a ridiculous man with mood swings like hell, but john puts up with it. not only does he put up with it, he loves sherlock. and that’s a lot like michelle. i do a lot of ridiculous things. i get anxious for no reason, sad over small things, i have mood swings like hell, but michelle is right there. always calm, always telling me to talk to her about it instead of letting it get all bottled up. michelle is balancing on that thin line between caring and commanding, which can really throw me off sometimes when she tells me to talk to her and yes, i want to, but she’s also very hard to say no to in general. so maybe that’s why i keep writing sin and further cementing my place in hell. it’s here i have to point out that while writing this, michelle saw fit to send me absolute filth from a johnlock fic, so she’s going down with me. but back to my point. michelle is the most patient person i have met. she deals with me at my worst and somehow comes out of it still sane and wanting me around, and i don’t quite think i can express how important that is to me // @julietthotelwhiskey

and a note from the author. i have argued and will continue to argue that roleplaying is about one thing: people. it’s people who like writing, yes, but it’s people. we’ve all fallen into this odd little hobby together, so we may as well make friends. my bias list is short because it’s honest; the people above are people i genuinely care about, and i will continue caring about them as long as they allow me to, or as long as i am meant to, whichever comes last. i have five ( yeah, fuck kacie ) IM conversations open right now. little icons on the side of my dash and i can’t tell you how big my smile is when one of my friends messages me. so let yourself make ridiculously close friends through this dumb little hobby, because knowing that someone cares about you for you is one of the most rewarding things in life, far better than having good graphics or formatting or hell, even being the best writer.

that’s all, folks. <3

[francel]

rambling;

i have nothing good to post, so i thought it might be fun to compile some answers to various ffxiv- and rp-related memes and questionnaires i’ve done on my private accounts! please enjoy my screaming.

8. Is there a character that embodies your good traits, or traits you wish you had? Several characters? Which ones and what traits?

i wish i was handsome and suave like all my characters thanks

13. What’s something you’ve never thought about your character?

a certain someone recently decided to remind me that francel's house has no bathroom... and i had honestly never considered, in two whole years of playing him, where he goes to pee?

"do you mean poop" francel is a delicate maiden i will not consider this

(we figure there’s probably an outhouse... somewhere...)

3. What’s something that surprises you about your canon?

Wiltswys: You think me cold? Well, fie on what you think! I wanted something better than tilling salty fields and spilling small fry out the nets, and occasionally taking a passing sailor into my bed for more o' the same!

LISTEN THIS IS THE MOST VULGAR LINE IN THE GAME I SWEAR TO GOD

i have done this quest at least... 4 or 5 times now and it never fails to make me scream. and every time i do it i have to zoom in on her and look at her face because she is a really cute roe girl, so i wonder what her taste in sailors is...

19. Give me an appearance-related headcanon of your choice.

LAUGHS OK hmm what have i never said before...

i have definitely mentioned that i don’t think francel likes his appearance very much — he especially wishes he had lighter-colored eyes like stephanivien and aurvael...

i personally want to think that chlodebaimt looked very different from francel BUT, although i have never datamined the necrose knight (i really should), a friend of mine took screenshots and his eyes at least look like francel's eyes

...but they might very well have just used a generic house haillenarte knight model for that, so who knows what chlodebaimt looked like?

i also like to think that baurendouin (francel's father) persists in the belief that his youngest son will do great things because he at least superficially resembles driancoin de haillenarte (the haillenarte founder you see in the haldrath flashback scene). i mean, i doubt portraits of driancoin survived or anything, given the nondescript statues of thordan's knights, but i’m sure comments about him did?

"he was fair of face and fair of hair" idfk some shit like that

5. What do you hate about your canon?

i am always, ALWAYS so tired of hearing people complain about how “no one ever” treats the wol like they’re “a normal person” ah, yes no one no one ever has treated you nicely never mind the fact that people regularly apologize for turning to you in their hours of need, and for asking you to kill things, and you usually just dismiss their applogy no one!!! has ever!! been nice!! to the wol!! i know the entire arc of my francel writing career has been bitching about similar things but at least i find new ways to do it

ok wait i have to vent more about how people still persist in the NO ONE WAS NICE TO THE WOL BUT HAURCHEFAAANT!!!!! delusion like tataru fucking made you clothes recently IS THAT NOT THE ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF LOVE? YOU'VE FINALLY BEEN REWARDED WITH SOMETHING PHYSICAL AND TANGIBLE!! STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW YOU DON’T HAVE FRIENDS!!

24. What’s a song that reminds you of your character?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1B7VKiJhU_s “Dear Jack,” by Jack’s Mannequin.

lately, i’ve been listening to this... i don't like every part of this song, but lyrically, it is such a perfect francel song

dear jack, i write you as a friend dear jack, i write for fear the end is coming soon to you it's not so clear it's clear to me it's clear as glass

dear jack, wherever you are, hold tight wherever he is, shine light right there be strong i dare

i had songs for you i had all your music written out the words came when i heard you screaming i had plans for you until the plans fell through now there is no turning back, my dear jack

11. Something you like to look at.

i have complicated feelings about haurchefant these days, but sometimes i go and look at this mug and cry about his handwriting

like from a lore perspective i know he can't be writing in english because they write in eorzean but until then, my friend...

14. When writing for specific characters, is there anything you have to do to get in the specific mindset?

yes! but it depends on the character. for ramza... i either read shakespeare (for real — i have lifted quotes wholesale from hamlet and the tempest) and/or listen to "rather be" by clean bandit? seriously, that is my most strong ramza association... which is weird because the song and the game are like 20 years apart? or i listen to the FFT ost...

for francel i have a whole playlist, but most importantly i either go on twitter and look at wolchefant fanart or read bad wolchefant fanfic on ao3... (don’t judge me; it keeps the bitterness alive)

18. Is there anything you really wish you could do that you feel is outside your current ability? A concept that you wish you could pull off but are uncertain about?

UMMM... hmmmmmmm...

i dont know... i don’t really think any plots are outside of my current ability, but i admire my friends for being so consistent and on the ball with their dignified prose? i can be dignified too, but at some point i'll crash and start writing intensely silly tags

i would like to do more plots where francel is a badass for whatever reason, but that’s just wish fulfillment

17. Which character is the easiest to write? Why do you think that is?

francel is the easiest to write because he has the ugliest emotions

ramza is the hardest because he is always so virtuous

everyone else has varying levels of self control, but with francel i can usually succumb to base impulse reactions. i like his unguarded nature...

6. When writing a character, do you find it easier to work on their external or internal ticks first? oh, internal, definitely. i think my tags suffer from the fact that i often don’t describe what my characters are doing or what is around them? just... just assume on my behalf lmao.... so IF FRANCEL IS CAUGHT UP IN INTERNAL TL;DR there's a 90% chance he's doing that kicked-puppy stare at the floor

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you? XIV, hard mode: no Haurchefant/WoL.

LMAO THAT HARD MODE...

xiv's fandom has rarely "ruined" pairings for me, as in "i liked them before but i hate them now solely because of fandom"... that said, i think i kind of liked the idea of zephirin and aymeric as a rivalry ship, but i hate when fandom takes the "oMG ZEPH RAPED AYMERIC WHEN HE WAS HELD CAPTIVE" route...

i think this perception of zephirin as this horrible awful evil man comes from the fact that the information on the ward happened after the game was released, so... in the span of time between "zephirin killed haurchefant" and "wait actually zephirin is a virtuous man," people formed their opinions, you know?

but it's still really annoying, and to some degree the misconception persists...

i was also okay with guydelot and sanson at first, but i’m a little annoyed by them now, too... it’s not for any particular reason — i just think the fandom is annoying in the "THEY'RE SOOO MARRIED!! EVEN THE OTHER QUEST NPCS SAY THEY'RE LIKE A MARRIED COUPLE!! THEY’RE SO CANON!!!" way and i’m like Please Shut Up. that said, i guess it’s mostly jealousy because none of my pairings are ever canon, but whatever...

so i guess i'm going with zephirin/aymeric, guydelot/sanson... and oh btw like. urianger/moenbryda to a degree? i remember when the wind-up moenbryda item came out and the english item description was like "you don't want to know what urianger did to this" or something like that, like, i just took it as — like urianger probably dressed it up in a little maid outfit and had it serve him tea or something equally otaku-like?

but the entire fandom was like OMG HE JERKED OFF TO IT OR USED IT AS A SEX DOLL OR SOMETHING and i was like ... okay. like if that's how you're determined to see it, fine, but fandom always takes the worst possible interpretation of something i swear to god

13. Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

LAUGHS WELL I GUESS MY USUAL TIRADE: i don't think of haurchefant as the perfect cinnamon roll angel and actually he annoys me a little...

my friend just finished running coerthas quests on her balmung alt and like... even she commented on how brusque and condescending he seems to francel? and she has no reason to be tainted by my perception of him, it's just... it’s just that he is brusque and condescending.

back when i liked haurchefant/francel, i told myself that it was just how he acted in the heat of the moment and i was sure he was gentler later... but now we’ve seen so much of haurchefant that from the way he treats francel it really feels more to me like francel was just a friend of convenience. i don’t know. i’m bitter. maybe i’m just bitter because it’s easier to cope that way.

14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

um... well, i think everyone in the ffxiv fandom also agrees that the fandom is annoying...

something i sometimes worry about, but which is not exclusive to ffxiv, is like... people who rp wind up with such a different impression of things than people who just play the game? 

i'm not judging either side on this but... i have rp friends, and i observe the rp community on tumblr/balmung, and i also have friends that are just gamers? and you know, like. sometimes rpers get carried away and invent all these narratives, like i know some tumblr rpers had a bunch of "plots" where a murder mystery happened in ishgard and it was all full of like noble OCs and intrigue or something?

but my gamer friends will sometimes be like, “ishgard is so boring.” so they... see it differently? you wind up viewing the game differently based on what you do in it.

there's also the divide between the english version of the game and the rest of the world, which i bitch about a lot but

just as an example, in english the nobles of ishgard are kind of broadly characterized as being unintelligent and shallow and foppish, whereas the other versions of the game really take a much more neutral approach?

or well i can really only speak for the japanese, but in general the german and french versions of the game are loyal to the japanese, however, 2.0 content was often based on the english...

so, for example, 2.0 content was EN->FR, but ever since 3.0 most of the patches have been JP->EN/DE/FR

however, the EN version continues to make changes, whereas DE and FR don't really change many things!

so i worry a lot about the different perceptions people have of the game, and what that means, like, when i write fanfic...

does my interpretation of coerthas align with other peoples' interpretations of coerthas? probably not. that’s something that’s deeply distressing, as a writer and as someone who prefers to have control, but i don’t know...

17. Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen...

STARES INTO THE VOID it's it's too late for any of this

2 years ago i would have told you without hesitation that i wanted haurchefant to be alive and for him and francel to have eloped together, but now i just...

i've learned to play with the cards i've been dealt

[theunemployedrogue]

-rubs hands together- ok for the salty ask meme: 1, 3, 4, 5, 7, 9, 13, 19, 27

I’m gonna answer this for DA and V/L/D [v/l/d answers are censored to keep out of the tags bc the fandom can’t fuckin chill]

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

DA: I mean I do get it, but I’m not a fan of Dorian/Fenris. I don’t think its bad or anything, just not my jam since they haven’t interacted in canon.

V/L/D: L0t0r/L@nce…like, L0t0r hasn’t even been on the show yet, let alone interacted with anyone. I assume the ship came about due to two things: a) In the original show L0t0r was romantically interested in the Blue Lion’s pilot (Al/l/ura), and fans headcanon L@nce being the blue paladin as him being intended for the L0t0r romance subplot. b) L@nce is the fandom bicycle haha 

Also not a fan of Sh@t/t…M@tt’s had like 5 min of screen time so far…  

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion? 

DA: Yes, a few. There’s only so much vitriol and denial over a character’s flaws I can take.

V/L/D: Not yet. Thankfully the folks I follow that are involved with the fandom are chill and don’t hold extremist views or engage in discourse. I’m very wary of following new people in this fandom though.   

4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?

I honestly don’t have a notp for either fandom. It’s very, very hard for a pairing to earn notp status with me.

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

DA: No.

V/L/D: Y’all fuckers are tryin with kl@nce. I adore the pairing but the fact it’s associated with a/nt/is is a huge annoyance.

7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?

DA: @nd/ers discourse. Previously I really enjoyed his character and discussions surrounding his decisions, but I am just....so tired now. It’s been beaten to death. I wish people would just accept the fact not everyone is going to hold the same opinions and stop writing dissertation-long arguments (this goes for both sides).

V/L/D: I’m getting to the point I am starting to dislike my favorite character and pairing bc fellow fans are absolute shitlords in regards to characterization and they demonize the hell out of multishippers.

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

DA: Not an @list@ir fan. I don’t hate him, I just don’t understand why he’s such a popular character as I find him kinda bland.

V/L/D: Uhhhh I honestly like most of the characters? I guess M@tt is my least favorite tho, as he hasn’t had much screen time and his characterization is like 90% fanon interpretation at this point.

13. Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

DA: I personally believe Fenris truly has issues with alcohol abuse. I know a lot of fans vehemently refuse to believe he is an addict, but as someone who has suffered from addiction I see a lot of myself in him during the scenes he is drinking. To me he displays classic symptoms of a binge drinker. I don’t think he’s a drink-every-day alcoholic, but he’s def someone who cannot control himself on the occasions he does drink.

V/L/D: To preface this, L@nce is my fave.....but that boi is not a good leader or particularly smart. His strengths lie in the fact he is a jack-of-all-trades and emotionally intelligent (when he’s not screwing around), and I wish fans would stop trying to give him traits that are already present in other characters -- good leader? Shir0/Al/lu/ra. Awesome pilot? K3ith. Super smart? Hu//nk/P1dg/e. Let L@nce be a flawed character that still has room to grow.

19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

For both fandoms (and any fandom I’ve been in) -- the fucking discourse. Oh my god. Not everything has to be a gd moral dilemma... like I just wish people would stop that an/ti shit.

27. Least shippable character?

DA: Not sure honestly?

V/L/D: C0ran prolly. I like his character, but he’s such a dad figure I find it hard to ship him with any of the characters we currently know (aside from maybe Alf0r in the past).