#yes kissing felice was a questionable decision but felice also knew that he was hurting and clearly not in the right frame of mind

[catradoraism]

when edvin said wille was selfish this season and he couldn’t defend his actions i was expecting wille to do a lot worse??? there’s literally nothing he did this season that i wouldn’t call unjustifiable or selfish

[originalhybridloverfics]

Why Can’t We Be Like That Ch 19

A/N: This chapter is not Laurel friendly.

After leaving Felicity's, Oliver found himself at a rundown bar in the Glades. 

He couldn’t wrap his head around everything that was said between Felicity and him. 

He couldn’t believe that Felicity thought he was capable of wanting their child to die. He would never wish that on any child, let alone his own. 

He was far from perfect; he knew that, but still, that was not something he was capable of. 

He picked up the shot in front of him and downed it. He slammed the shot glass on the bar top with a line of empty shot glasses and raised his hand at the bartender for two more shots. 

The second they were placed in front of him, he downed the first, clutching the shot glass tightly in his hand. 

He shouldn’t have left Felicity. If he would've stayed, things would be different right now. 

Oliver knew in his bones he and Felicity would still be together. They would be married, and if they were lucky, they would have kids. 

If he had made better choices instead of listening to others. Instead of listening to Laurel. 

Instead of making the choice to walk away before Felicity could because he didn’t believe he would survive it. And look at what kind of person he had become because of the choices he made.

Someone who hurts her again and again. Repeatedly. 

He twisted their love into something that was near unrecognizable. 

He down another shot and cursed his decision to leave. Cursing his decision to leave, to listen to Laurel. Cursing his poor choices to leave the one person who meant more to him than he believed was possible. 

He thought..he believed that if he gave Felicity time that everything would be okay, she would be ready to talk. He didn’t think he was killing his relationship with her. 

He could remember clearly confiding in Diggle, Tommy, and Laurel after the funeral of his son. He was a mess, and he had no idea how he and Felicity were supposed to survive. 

While he had wanted Felicity to open up to him, he felt he couldn’t do the same. 

Felicity almost died. She lost her father and their son. How could what he was feeling possibly compare to the emotional and physical pain she was in?

He kept his pain to himself, he bottled it up and tried to talk to her, but she wouldn’t. She lashed out and pushed him away, and he let her. He thought it was better than unloading his pain on top of everything else she was dealing with already. 

Oliver downed another shot. 

God, everything got so mixed up, and he and Felicity got their wires crossed in a way that broke them. 

He thought that she wanted space from him, and he believed if he gave it to her and came back, she would be ready to talk to him, that they would be ready to talk through this and make it to the other side together. 

But everything blew up in his face. 

He shouldn’t have thought that the army would help him the way it did John. 

It made him a different man. In a lot of ways, he was even more selfish. He couldn’t see beyond what he wanted and what he was feeling. 

He felt like because he made it back home alive, he was entitled to having everything he wanted precisely how he wanted. Like the universe owed him that much. 

He was wrong. So wrong. How did he become this person? God, why did he leave? 

He wanted to go back and make a different choice. 

He shouldn’t have even discussed what was going on with him and Felicity with Laurel. He never should have listened to her when she told him the best thing he could do was take a step back from his relationship with Felicity and let her grieve on her own. Still, Laurel had insisted that Felicity needed the time to herself. Said that was what she would want if she was Felicity. 

He should not have listened to her. Felicity and Laurel couldn’t have been more different and wouldn’t have wanted the same things. 

He should have listened to Tommy. He should have been more patient, waited until Felicity was ready to talk, willing to let him in. He should have waited her out, showed her that she wasn’t in this alone. He should have shown her that while she lost her dad and they lost their son, she didn’t lose him, too. 

If he could go back and do things differently. He would do it all differently. 

If he could go back, he would have insisted they both not leave the house, spend the day watching Netflix and eating all the crazy foods she was craving. 

Maybe then, he wouldn’t be where he is now. 

He would be at home with Felicity and their son.

Regrets. That is all he has now. Maybe that’s all he will ever have. 

He reached over the bar and grabbed the whole bottle, slamming a hundred dollar bill on the bar top. 

He stumbled off his seat and found his way to an empty booth, planning on getting so drunk he couldn’t remember a thing the next morning. 

                                 ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ 

Roy let himself into his apartment, he wasn’t expecting to see Thea there, waiting for him. “What are you doing here?”

“Waiting for you.” Thea stood up from the couch. “Where have you been?!”

“Felicity’s.” Roy tossed his keys onto the coffee table. 

“Felicity’s? This late?”

Roy did not care for the tone of Thea’s voice. Doubtful and accusing. 

“Yes. I wanted to be there in case she needed someone to talk to.”

“If she actually wanted to talk to somebody, she would have done so by now,” Thea stated. “Felicity hasn’t moved past her grief. She needs a grief counselor.” 

Roy glared. “What she needs is a friend. Someone to listen, and you need to stop acting like you know how she feels.”   

“I understand that she has been through more than most,” Thea interjected. 

“You don’t understand because if you did, you wouldn’t be treating her the way you have. You don’t know what it's like to survive an accident that you wish you hadn’t. You don’t know what it’s like to bury your dad. You don’t know what it’s like to hold your dead baby in your arms. You don’t know what it’s like to have the person you love walk out on you and leave you alone to pick up the destroyed pieces of your life.” Roy's voice grew more vehement with every word he spoke. “Felicity has been through all of that, and she has survived with no help from the people in her life. None of us can possibly understand what she has been through.”

“And that excuses the way she treats my brother?!” Thea exclaimed. 

“This is not about your brother, Thea!” Roy exclaimed. “Not everything is about your family.”

“It’s about Felicity, and that means it also about my brother,” Thea argued.  

“Unbelievable. Just because it’s about Felicity doesn’t mean it’s about him. Why can’t you see that.”

“Maybe because I’m not trying to pretend Felicity is the only one who was hurt.”

“No, you just want to pretend like Oliver’s pain is all that matters." Roy scoffed.

“Of course, his pain matters. He’s my brother.” Thea glared.

“And Felicity is supposed to be your friend.”

Thea crossed her arms, pursing her lips. 

“What no comeback. No convenient defense for your brother?” Roy challenged. 

“I don’t need to defend my brother. He has done nothing wrong.”

Roy stared at Thea in disbelief. “You really believe that, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Thea answered. 

Roy shook his head. “I think you should go.”

Thea’s eyes widened. “You’re kicking me out?”

“I’m saying we need to take a break because right now, everything that comes out of your mouth rubs me the wrong way and makes me feel like I need to question everything.”

“I can’t believe this,” Thea exclaimed, she sent him a harsh glare. “Fine. You want a break from us. You got it.” 

Roy watched as she walked out, slamming the door behind her, and felt relief that she had left. 

How messed up was that. He couldn’t even look at the girl he loves without seeing how she turned on her friend just because she believed her brother could do no wrong in her eyes. 

                        ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Digg’s thumb over Felicity’s name on his contact, wanting to call her but not ready to face her. 

“Are you alright, Johnny? Can't sleep?” Lyla asked, rubbing his shoulders. 

“No, not really,” John answered, placing his hand's over hers. "I didn't know Felicity felt that way.

“What way?”

“That she blamed me.” 

“Johnny, Felicity, what she feels is complicated. I can’t imagine what it was like for her, but Oliver made a choice.”

“So did I,” John ran a hand down his face. “I know why I did what I did. Why I told Oliver to join the army. Back then, I told myself I was helping, but I wasn’t. When Felicity was younger, I made it my mission to protect her from everything. Hell, when she and Oliver first started dating, I wanted to protect her from him too because I didn’t want him to treat her the way he did every other girl who caught his eye." 

"Then, dad died, and she lost her baby." John instinctively placed his hand, protectively over Lyla's stomach. "I couldn’t protect her from that. I couldn’t save her from the pain she felt. The army had been an escape for me. I couldn’t help Felicity, but I thought maybe I could help Oliver. Maybe the army could do for him for what it did for me. I thought, with some time, Felicity would realize that now wasn’t the time for her to push Oliver away. That they should be leaning on each other, getting through the most painful experience, they would ever experience together. I thought it would make them stronger. I never intended it for it to destroy them.”

“Maybe you should be telling this to Felicity,” Lyla suggested. “Don’t lose your sister over not being able to talk to her. Tell her everything you just told me.”

John nodded. “I will. Just not tonight. I think she’s been ambushed enough for one night.” 

Lyla nodded, rubbing his arm, she pressed a kiss to his lips. Digg nodded, feeling his child beneath his palm. Knowing how easy such an innocent life can be taken, he was eternally grateful for the blessing he and Lyla were given. 

                      ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

The sound of Sara’s fist connecting over and again with the punching bag echoing through the otherwise empty gym. 

“Who are you picturing?” Nyssa asked. 

“Me,” Sara grunted as she slammed her fist into the bag. “I’ve been an awful friend.” 

“Why?”

“Why?” Sara repeated, turning to face her. 

“Why have you been an awful friend? I haven’t been able to understand the way you have treated Felicity.”

Sara hated the look of disappointment Nyssa was directing her way. “I don’t know.” 

“I think you do, and I think you’re too ashamed to admit it because your reasons are selfish and you know Felicity deserved better from her best friend. Better from you. You were supposed to be her rock, her pillar, and you weren’t. You left her on her own. I think that’s something you know you can’t take back, and you don’t know how to start making up for it.” 

“I think I lost her.” Sarah swallowed, eyes filling with tears. “I don’t think she’s ever going to forgive me.” 

“You’ll never know unless you admit to Felicity how you failed her and ask for her forgiveness. Make an effort to forget Oliver for five minutes, and be there for your best friend.” Nyssa advised. “Go from there, and you can start to be the kind of friend Felicity needs.” 

                                 ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Robert poured himself a drink as he listened to Moira going on about some excellent therapist that she believed could really help Felicity. 

“Moira enough,” he said finally. 

“What?”

“Felicity doesn’t need you recommending her a therapist. In fact, I don’t think she wants anything from us. Especially after today.” 

“She is a member of this family. She just needs to be reminded of this.” Moira argued. “It’s only a matter of time before Oliver and her move forward.”

“Did you not hear a word of what Felicity said.” Robert set his glass on his desk. “Or are you choosing to ignore it all because it doesn’t fit in your plan for Oliver. For our family. For the company.” 

“Everything I do is for this family. Felicity has just forgotten that.” 

“Felicity has forgotten anything," Robert argued. "She is doing what she believes she has to in order to protect herself from being caused any further pain by our son.” 

“Oliver would never hurt her.” Moira declared. 

“But he did.”

“Don’t start, Robert.” Moira's eyes narrowed warningly. 

“You and I both know Oliver never should have left. Running away to get shot at was never going to fix anything. He should have been by her side every step of the way even when it was hard, but that was always his problem, wasn't it?”

“What was?” The tone of her voice changed. 

“Running away when things become too hard, and you enable him to do it. Cleaning up his messes every chance you got meanwhile, I am doing everything I can to not let his choices ruin more than just this family.” 

“That’s ironic coming from you, Robert.”

“I don’t want him making my mistakes." Robert insisted, ignoring the jab. "I know my reasoning. What is yours?”

“I was protecting him.” 

“No, you were keeping him from learning from his mistakes, and that is not going to get him anywhere.” 

“And neither is the fact that his father doesn’t care.” Moira snapped, her usual calm demeanor gone.

“I care, but I can also admit when he was wrong. Can you?”

“How is doing what was best for him wrong?” Moira demanded, her gaze becoming flinty. 

“Because it was no longer just him anymore. He had Felicity to think about. Just because she lost the baby doesn’t change that.” 

“Do you honestly think it was easy for him to just leave?" Moira questioned. 

“I don’t care if it was easy. He shouldn’t have done it. I was never more disappointed in him then when he walked out on Felicity. They were building something, and he threw it all away when things got painful, and ever since, I have been trying to be there for Felicity for as much as she has allowed. Do you even know how decent she has been to us? She could have run us through the mud in the media, she could have gone to any reporter looking for dirt on this family, but she didn’t. She was better than any of us, and she continues to be better than us every single day. Showing up respect and consideration even when we least deserve it. I refuse to turn my back on her just because you can't see the mistakes our son had made. Felicity deserves more from Oliver and from us.”

“Robert, I know you love her like a daughter, but you cannot choose her over your own son.” 

“I am not choosing her over my son. I am being realistic about the situation. Felicity is vital to this family and our company. I will not alienate her. In fact, if Oliver doesn’t want to grow the hell up and take his place in this family, in the company, I am more than happy to offer it to Felicity.” 

“You can’t be serious,” Moira said appalled. 

“I am. You and I both know I’m getting older and I need to start grooming someone to take over for me. I know you want that to be Oliver, but he is not the one who can take this company to where it needs to be. If we're being honest, the person who should run QC when I step down is Felicity.” 

“Queen Consolidated is a family company.” Moira reminded him. “Felicity's last name is not Queen.” 

“No, it’s not, and I don’t care that it’s not. That girl will always be a member of this family to me. I understand that right now, she doesn’t want anything to do with us, but I will always believe that with absolute certainty.” 

Moira shook her head. “I’m not gonna stand here and keep arguing with you.”

“No one is stopping you from walking out of this room.” Robert waved a hand toward the door. 

Moira raised her chin, sending him a withering glare and walked out of the room without another word. Robert sat down behind his desk to finish his drink. 

                         ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

The road before Oliver blurred, and he rubbed at his eyes, realizing too late that he ran a red light. 

Horns blared, and he swerves to the right to avoid slamming into the car, driving over the curb before righting his vehicle. “Fuck.” 

He was barely back on the road before flashing lights shown in his rearview mirror, followed by the sound of sirens. 

Reluctantly he pulled over to the side of the road, watching through the side mirror as the officer got out of his vehicle and approached. 

“Sir, do you have any idea how many road laws you just broke?” the officer shined the light from his flashlight in Oliver's eyes.  

“I know it was an...an accident.” Oliver winced and tried not to slur his words. 

“Have you been drinking tonight, Mr. Queen?”

“Yes.” Oliver didn’t see the point in lying. “Honestly, I shouldn’t be driving with how much I had to drink.” 

“I’m gonna have to ask you to step out of the car, turn around and put your hands on top of the vehicle.” 

Oliver did as instructed, stumbling unsteadily out of his car. He turned around, placing his arms on the top of the vehicle.  

Oliver fought the urge to jerk back as the officer patted him down. 

He didn’t so much as flinch as the officer read him his rights and placed handcuffs on him. He said nothing as the officer urged him into the back of the squad car.

He stared out the window as the officer took him back to the police station. He couldn’t bring himself to care even a little bit that he was being arrested. 

He was barely in his cell 10 minutes before Detective Lance ushered him out and was putting him into an interrogation room. An angry scowl marred Lance's expression as he paced the small room. 

Oliver watched, growing annoyed with his pacing. “Are you going to pace all night? Because if you are, you could've just left me in my cell.”

“Shut up.” Lance whirled on him. “Do you realize you could have killed someone tonight? You should know better than anyone how easy it is to destroy people's lives when you get behind a wheel completely plastered.”

“Don’t!” Oliver’s eyes were flat. “I’m fully aware of what could’ve happened.”

“You’re-” Lance shook his head. “Are you trying to kill yourself?”

Oliver said nothing. He didn’t deny it. He had hit a new low tonight, and he just wanted it all to stop. He didn’t care how it stopped as long as he no longer felt the pain that his heart was always in. 

“Queen, getting yourself killed is not going to fix anything!” Lance snapped. “It’s not going to help you and Felicity. Do you want to cause her more pain? Do you think Felicity wants to lose you the way she lost her father and son? Don’t do that to her or yourself!” 

“What does it matter? All I have done is hurt her since I got back, and after speaking to her, I realize how much I've hurt her. What’s the point of being here if I hurt the one person who means more to me than anything!”

“Really? She means more to you than anything?” Lance challenged. 

“Yes, she does. I know I’ve done a terrible job of showing that, but she does.” 

“Than get your fucking act together. You want to show what Felicity means to you? Stop being stupid and selfish and an all-around Jackass. Be better.”

“I don’t know how.”

“You can start with not driving drunk and stop hurting her at every turn. I’ve seen that girl in enough pain to last me a lifetime. No one should have to go through what she has.” 

“I don’t mean to.” Oliver's face crumpled. “I hate that I’ve hurt her so badly.”

“That’s what happens when you abandon the people who love you.”

“I thought I was doing what she wanted. I thought she needed to take time to be alone.” 

“Speaking from a parent's perspective. She needed time, yes, but she also needed to know you were there. That you would be there when she was ready. She needed time to work through everything she was feeling so you could grieve together. I don’t know what made you think leaving was your only option because it was the last thing you should have done.”

Oliver’s stomach twisted with irritation. But not with Lance. The man was only being brutally honest. 

No, his irritation was at himself. At listening to people who had no clue what it meant to lose a child. To lose a piece of yourself. To Laurel, who didn’t know what it was like to lose anyone so suddenly. 

“Oliver, I understand you have regrets, but don’t let them consume you. Don’t be reckless. Don’t be another drunk asshole who ruins lives.”

Oliver swallowed tightly. the reality of what could’ve happened tonight had his stomach twisting. “It won’t happen again.”

“Good, 'cause this is the one and only pass you’re getting from me.” Lance placed his phone on the table. “Call someone to come and get you and remember to get your head out of your ass or remove yourself from Felicity's life. She deserves better.” 

Lance walked out with those parting words. 

Oliver reached for the phone. He thought about calling his parents, but he wasn’t ready to deal with his mom or Thea or face his father’s disappointment. 

He needed to talk to someone. Needed to speak to the person who he should have listened to from the start. 

Tommy. 

                      ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Laurel put her book down as Tommy's phone started buzzing. She looked at his sleeping form and pursed her lips. He hadn’t said a word to her. Not at dinner. Not when going to bed. Not one single word.  

The disappointment came off him in waves. The way he looked at her most of the night had her avoiding his gaze. 

Tommy's anger was silent, and it was worrisome when he was like that. However, she was thankful that Tommy seemed to be letting what happened today go. 

At least she hoped that was what he was doing. She hoped he wasn’t bottling it up, letting it fester into something toxic. 

Laurel reached for his phone and saw he had a call from her father coming in. Odd. 

She swiped her thumb across the answer icon and pressed the phone to her ear. “Dad?”

“Laurel,”

“Ollie?” her brow furrowed. “Why are you calling from my dad’s cell?”

“I got arrested for drunk driving. I was calling to see if Tommy would come to get me.”

“Of course. He will be there soon.”

“Okay.”

“Are you-” 

The phone clicked, she frowned, pulling the phone away. “Okay?”

She moved the covers off and climbed out of bed, careful not to disturb Tommy. She didn’t want to wake him and deal with his anger with her. 

She would just go and get Oliver herself. She didn’t mind being there for him in place of Tommy if that was what Oliver needed. 

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Laurel looked at Oliver for the fourth since he got in her car. 

She hadn’t wanted to stay long. Not with the way her father looked at her with disappointment. His promise that she and Sara were going to get breakfast with him in the morning so they all could talk, making her eye twitch. 

She had no doubt it was about Felicity, and she did not want to hear it. 

“Are you okay, Ollie?” she asked Oliver finally as they neared her and Tommy’s apartment, stopping at a red light.  

“I thought Tommy was going to be the one to come get me.”

“He was sleeping. I didn’t want to disturb him. You can sleep on our couch tonight. Sleep it off.”

Laurel looked at him again to see he was looking straight ahead. 

She frowned. Oliver appeared to be upset about something. 

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Laurel retrieved fresh sheets, a pillow, and a blanket from the linen closet and set it on the arm of the couch. “If you need anything, let me know.”

“I don’t need anything from you,” Oliver replied sharply. 

Laurel brow furrowed. “Ollie? What’s wrong?”

“That comment you made about my son was unnecessary and disgusting.” 

“Oliver, I didn’t mean anything by it.” Laurel protested, looking the picture of contrite. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you.”

“No, you weren’t trying to hurt me. You were trying to hurt Felicity. What you did today wasn’t about helping her. It was about you believing you’re better than her and you wanting to make sure everyone knew how superior you believe yourself to be, but you're not. You have never been better than Felicity.” 

“Ollie, you’re drunk. You’re not seeing things clearly.”

“Oh, but I am. Finally, I am seeing things clearer than I ever have.” Oliver's jaw clenched. “I see you.” 

“What are you getting at?” 

“Do you remember the day of the funeral? When you stop by the house?”

Laurel nodded, crossing her arms. Of course, she remembered. Oliver was barely holding it together. 

“Hi, I know, it’s late, but I brought you and Oliver some chicken casserole.” She brushed by Olivier, finding her way to the kitchen.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Oliver told her.

“Well, I know, Felicity can’t do anything right in the kitchen, and I figured you were in no state to cook.” she set the food on the counter. 

“Felicity does everything else, right.” Oliver was quick to defend his favorite person. 

Laurel turned around slowly and forced a smile. “Where is she?”

“In our room? She cried herself to sleep.” Oliver gripped the back of his neck, breathing deeply and blinked back tears. “She won’t even let me hold her. I know she’s in pain, and she’s hurting, but I just really need her.”

“Ollie,” Laurel moved around the counter and pulled his hands away from his neck. She didn’t let them go. “It sounds to me like Felicity only cares about herself. Right now. Maybe you should take time and go home.”

“She cares, and I'm already home.”

Laurel shook her head. “I mean the Queen mansion. With your family.”

Oliver took a step back from her. “Felicity is my family. She’s my home.”

Laurel bit back the retort on the tip of her tongue. Family was always there for you, and Felicity wasn’t. 

Instead, Laurel stepped into his space, her hands sliding up his arms, stopping at the top of his shoulders. “In her current state, she’s not in a place to be strong. I know you think that means you have to be strong for the both of you but you can’t." 

Laurel pulled him into her body, her arms going around him as she pressed against him. “She can’t be there for you right now, but I can. You need someone Ollie to help you through this. Let me help.”

Oliver gently pried her hands off him and walked around the counter, putting distance between them. “I don’t need anyone else. I need Felicity, and I need her to be okay. You want to help me then help me understand how I can help her?”

Laurel looked away from him as her stomach twisted, a dark feeling spreading over her. 

She turned back to him, trying to look as sympathetic as she could. “Sometimes when you suffer a loss this great. You need time alone to heal. If you try to force Felicity to let you be there, you could ruin what you have. Maybe what she needs is a break from your relationship.”

“What?” Oliver's eyes were wide with alarm. “I can’t do that. Felicity’s she’s everything I ever wanted. She matters more to me than I thought was possible. I can’t do that.” 

Laurel breathed deeply, not wanting to show her frustration. “This isn’t about you. It’s about what’s best for her, and if I was Felicity, I would want the time to grieve on my own. I’m not saying you end things for good. I’m just suggesting you take a step back from your relationship until your ready to start over and put this tragedy behind you.”

Oliver looked around the empty apartment, settling on a picture of Felicity in a sundress, smiling as she held her enlarged stomach. He wanted to see her that happy again. “You really think time apart will do her good?”

“I do.” Laurel moved around the counter again and embraced him. “Remember, if you need anything at all. I’m here. Day or night.”

Oliver nodded, once again removing her hands from him. “You should go.”

Laurel nodded. “I am sorry that you're hurting, Ollie.”

Oliver nodded but said nothing, and Laurel took it for the dismissal it was and let herself out. 

“You pretended to care about what I was feeling. What Felicity was going through, but you were only looking for a weak spot. You were like a vulture circling, waiting for our relationship to die so you can make your move. What makes it worse is that you were with Tommy.”

“It was not like that.” Laurel denied. “I wouldn't hurt Tommy like that.” 

“I believed that once but not after today. I am finally opening my eyes, and I see the way you look at me. How you have always looked at me. You look at me like I’m the answer to your every ambition, every dream. Even now, you look at me like you still love me, but I have never loved you the way you loved me.” Oliver knew he was being harsh, but he was done with people hurting Felicity himself included. 

If all he brought Felicity was pain, then he would do everything to make himself better, so he never hurt her again. However, first, he had to put out the torch Laurel was still carrying for him. He would not let her petty jealousy hurt Felicity further. 

Laurel’s eyes filled with tears. “Stop. Ollie just stop. Your twisting everything around to hurt me.”

“No, I'm being honest, and you can’t handle it. The truth is it was never going to be us, Laurel.”

“Us?” Laurel repeated. 

“It was never going to be Ollie and Laurel against the world,” Oliver said, his voice filled with absolute certainty. “It was never going to be you. Even if I never fell in love with Felicity, you were never going to be the one for me. Our entire relationship, I felt suffocated. I never would have willingly had a child with you, and I certainly never would have tied myself to you.”

“I don’t believe that.” Laurel shook her head. “You loved me. We were good together. If Felicity never caught your eye, we would have moved in together during college. You and I both know we would have gotten married." a smirk tugged at her lips. "You can’t say the same for you and Felicity.”

“I was going to ask her to marry me the day of the accident.”

“What?” The smirk was wiped away in an instant. 

“I still have the ring. I spent weeks planning the proposal. I spent months taking culinary classes, learning to cook, I practiced making souffles. I was going to put the ring in the icing. I was going to make her favorite dish. I had it all planned." 

Laurel clenched her fist, every word he spoke was like an insult.

"I had already booked a trip to Bali for us to celebrate before the baby came. I bought her a villa in Italy. One I still own to this day. Felicity always said she wondered what it was like to live there. I saved the ring shopping for last, I didn’t want the paparazzi to put pictures of me shopping all over the front pages before I got the chance to ask. So I waited till the day I was going to propose to buy it. I was going to make her as happy as it was humanly possible.”

Laurel shook her head; she didn’t want to hear any of this. 

“I never would have done a single one of those things for you because I have never loved you the way I love her.”

Laurel took a step back as if he had punched her. “I don’t believe you.”

Oliver shook his head. “Believe me or don’t but stay away from Felicity and never bring up my son again.” 

Laurel watched stunned as he headed for the door. “Where are you going?”

“Away from here. I can’t even stand to look at you right now.”

The door shut with a slam, and Laurel drew in a sharp breath, shaking her head in disbelief. She turned around to head back to her room but stopped short. 

Tommy stood in the doorway, his face unreadable. 

Laurel swallowed. “How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough. What the hell was that?”

“Oliver was brought in for drinking. I went and got him and brought him here to sleep it off.”

“He called you?” Tommy questioned.  

“No, he called you, but you were sleeping, and I didn’t want to wake you.” 

“Is that the real reason why you went by yourself to him?” Tommy asked. 

“What other reason would I have not to wake you?”

“Don’t pretend like I didn’t just hear the two of you arguing about the feelings you still have for him.” Tommy's eyes narrowed. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Tommy, I’m marrying you.”

“Why would you say yes to my proposal if you were still in love with him?” Tommy demanded. 

“I’m not still in love with him.”

“What I just heard says otherwise.” Tommy stepped forward, eyes hard. “Is the way you feel for him the reason why you have treated Felicity with such disregard?”

“I have been very courteous of her.” Laurel scoffed. “More than I should have to. The way she forced herself into our circle was appalling.”

“Forced? What the hell are you talking about? She never forced herself into our lives. Ollie has been in love with her since high school.” 

“No,” Laurel snapped suddenly vivid. “He loved me. Ollie and I were supposed to have it all. Not her. Not nerdy little Felicity, too smart for her own good. She was a nobody, Sara’s poor little friend, and then she stole Oliver from me.”

“Do you even hear yourself?” Tommy demanded. “When Oliver and Felicity started dating, you and he were already broken up, and Felicity was hesitant to even give Oliver a chance because of your history.”

“That didn’t last," Laurel exclaimed. "They were together without any regard to how I felt.”

“You were broken up. You’re acting like Ollie cheated on you with Felicity.”

“He did cheat on me!” Laurel cried angrily. 

“But never with Felicity." Tommy reminded her. "When he was with her, it was just her, no other girl ever entered the picture again.”

 “If he could be that way with her if he could be faithful and affectionate with her, why couldn’t he be that way with me?" Laurel's eyes filled with angry tears. "I was better than her. I was more popular, I had the better standing. She always said things that she shouldn’t, she's inappropriate, she tried to become a member of the Queen family. To climb to a higher station than she deserved. Felicity's nothing compared to me.”

“You,” Tommy looked at Laurel like he didn’t even know who she was. “Is that all that matters to you? Marrying into a respected family? Felicity has never once cared about any of that, but it’s clear you do. Tell me, were you ever in love with Oliver are just the idea of becoming a Queen?”

“I was everything Oliver could have wanted in a future wife. We were a perfect match, and he threw it all away for a woman who lost his baby and hates him.”

“God, you are so blind and delusional, why did I never see it?” Tommy shook his head. Was he so intent on finding something good and stable for himself that he ignored Laurel’s worst flaws? Refused to see what was now blatantly staring him in the face. 

The bitterness that sounded from Laurel, the fact that all she cared about was what she believed she deserved. 

“See what?” Laurel asked, sounding guarded. 

“Felicity doesn’t hate Oliver. Not really. You can tell yourself that all you want and convince there’s still a chance for Laurel and Ollie, A what if, but it’s a lie.” Tommy took a step back from her. “Felicity loves Oliver. She always will. He hurt her beyond what she thought was possible, and she might never forgive him. However, a person doesn’t have that kind of power over you if you didn’t love them beyond measure. I have no doubt Oliver and Felicity will work things out. It will be a long hard road, but nothing worth having is easy. All of the pain they have suffered will only make them stronger. If they can survive this and come back from it together, there is absolutely nothing that can keep them apart.”

“You can’t know that for certain,” Laurel argued, crossing her arms. 

“You’re right, I can’t, but what I do know is that we are done.”

“What?” Laurel's eyes widened. “Tommy!” 

Tommy moved away from her and slipped on his shoes. “The weddings off.”

“Tommy, you’re clearly upset and not thinking straight.” She reached for him, and he avoided her. “Let’s talk about this.”

Tommy grabbed his jacket, slipping it on. “There’s nothing to talk about. Not for the first time, I look at you, and I see someone I don’t even know. Someone I refuse to tie myself to for the rest of my life. You're not the person I thought you were. I can’t marry you. You're in love with Oliver, and you are always going to be.”

“Tommy, he doesn’t want to be with me!” Laurel exclaimed. 

Tommy jaw clenched, angry tears forming in his eyes. “You don’t even deny it.” 

“Oliver is always going to be the love of my life, even when he made it pretty clear I was never his.”

“I didn’t sign up to be a consolation prize.” Tommy ground out, grabbing his car keys and wallet, he turned to level her with a hard look. “I’m not going to settle for being anyone’s second choice. I won’t. I deserve more than that.”

Tears filled Laurel’s eyes. “Tommy, please!” 

Tommy ignored her cries, the door shut behind him. 

Laurel stood rooted to the floor, shocked that Tommy actually walked out on her. 

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Tommy struggled with himself, second-guessing his decision to leave. 

He had been building a life with Laurel. Now it was just gone and not because it was ripped away from him but because he realized the woman he was going to marry wasn’t someone he wanted to be with. Still, it hurt. 

The feelings he had for Laurel weren’t just magically gone, his love for her was still there, but it felt tainted. An ugly lie. Like none of it was real, and that was more painful than he wanted to admit. 

Did Laurel ever love him for him? Or was he just a placeholder all along? Was their entire relationship built on a lie? 

Tommy pulled up outside of Felicity’s place, contemplating going somewhere else for the night. He could go to a hotel or to Merlyn Manor, anywhere else. 

He wondered where Oliver went after he left his and Laurel’s. 

It was late. He should just go, check into a hotel. Felicity was more than likely in bed. 

He started the car back up but stopped seeing the kitchen light flickering on. 

He hesitated only a moment before taking the keys out of the ignition and walking up to Felicity’s door. 

If there was anyone who understood how hard it was to have the life you were building for yourself, just collapse with there being nothing you can do about it, it was Felicity. 

He ranged the doorbell two times and waited. 

“Tommy?” Felicity asked in surprise. “It’s late. Is something wrong?”

“Laurel and I got into this fight, and I couldn’t stay there. Do you think I can crash here for the night.”

“You’re always welcome here.” Felicity opened the door and let him inside. 

Tommy saw a light coming from the living room. Carly was curled on the loveseat, asleep. 

“She came to check on me after what happened earlier, and we had a little more to drink.”

“I’m sorry I didn't. I wasn’t sure what to say, and I didn’t want to make things worse.”

“It’s okay,” Felicity assured. “You can sleep on the couch.”

“Thanks, Smoak.” Tommy murmured. 

“I was just about to have some ice cream. Its always good to eat your feelings away with ice cream. Do you wanna try it.” 

Tommy nodded. “Sure.”

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Tommy accepted the bowl of ice cream, taking a seat at the counter. Felicity sat across from him with her own ice cream. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Felicity asked. “About you and Laurel?”

“No,” Tommy shook his head. Felicity didn’t need to hear all the awful things Laurel had said about her out of petty jealousy. He didn’t want her to be hurt further by his now ex-fiance. “Not tonight.” 

“If you change your mind, I’m here.”

Tommy smiled sadly. “I know, thank you.”

Felicity nodded and patted his arm. 

Tommy appreciated that she didn’t push for more. She was a good friend and a far better person than the villain Laurel believed her to be. 

A/N: If you like to read previous chapters you can find them here.

 https://archiveofourown.org/works/6073135/chapters/13919158

Tags: @mariestark​ @memcjo​

[smkkbert]

Time for a story - Truth being told

Previous (important!) chapter: Midnight City, Lone Gunman, Who are you?, Brothers in arms, Blood Debts, The ties that bind, More than a story

Author’s note: This is the last chapter that will be about the consequences after meeting Dominic. That being said, I finished writing chapter 380 (this is 375) today, and this is the result: 

6 scenes. 31 pages. 17227 words. 77483 characters (without blanks). 

Time for a story is really inspiring my muse right now.

I will also create another poll for you to suggest ideas for the last 100 chapters of the story soon. This story will end with its 500th chapter, and I already have a plan for some storylines, but there is still a lot of room for your ideas. Feel free to suggest them here, on twitter or Ao3 whenever you want. I will see what I can work into the plan. ;)

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

Oliver’s voice was lowered as he whispered those words into her ear. His breath ghosted over the side of her face, making her release a low sigh. Goosebumps of content spread down the length of her spine.

„No,“ Felicity replied honestly and leaned back against Oliver’s chest for a moment, “but I have to, right?”

Turning off the stream of water from the sink, Felicity turned around to Oliver and looked him straight in the eye. She wanted to know his true reaction and not hear what he thought she wanted to hear. If she looked at his face, she knew that he wouldn’t be able to lie to her. He wouldn’t even try to do so for her own best.

The moment Oliver’s eyes met hers, Felicity knew that she had made the right decision. She could see that he was feeling uncomfortably because the answer he thought she wanted to hear was not the same one he had to offer. This might be one of the rare cases where they were not agreeing on something.

“I am not sure that you have to,” Oliver replied, clearing his throat quietly. “Why would you have to tell your mother about his? Dominic is not going to be part of your lives anyway, so I guess that it would just hurt her to know that your father had a child with another woman before her.”

Narrowing her eyes at Oliver slightly, she cocked her head and took in his face thoroughly. As different as this situation actually was from what she and Oliver had been going through with William, there still were some undeniable parallels. After all, William had been a child that Oliver had fathered before he had met Felicity and build a family with her.

“So, if William had decided not to be part of your life, you wouldn’t have told me about him?”

Oliver already opened his mouth to reply. The moment, she perked up her eyebrows to make sure that he knew that she really wanted to know the truth here, Oliver pressed his lips together and rolled them into his mouth though.

“Oh my god,” Felicity whispered. “You really wouldn’t have told me.”

“I would have told you,” Oliver replied quickly and cleared his throat. “I might have just taken some more time.”

Felicity frowned. Since none of this had happened, she couldn’t really be mad at Oliver for it. He had considered not telling her about William in case he would have denied having contact with his father. William had agreed to getting to know his father though, so Oliver had told her about it. She knew that she could be mad at him nonetheless, but she didn’t see any good in it, so she would swallow the possible anger she could have felt and just be lucky that it hadn’t had happened.

“Why?” Felicity asked eventually. “Why would the fact that William didn’t want to be part of your life would have been different for you?”

Oliver pushed his hands into the pockets of his pants. He was obviously embarrassed by her question or by the answer he had to it, and it made Felicity stroke her hand up and down his chest comfortingly. She didn’t want him to blame himself for thinking that way or feel ashamed for it. She just wanted to understand him because that might actually help to make her understand why they thought so differently on this topic.

“If William didn’t want to be part of our lives, he wouldn’t have been part of our lives,” Oliver replied, shrugging his shoulders. His eyes gave away how sad he was thinking that his son might not want anything to do with them. “Why should I have put that weight on you?”

Felicity frowned. She understood where Oliver was coming from, but it only made her disagree more. She knew that he would have had his reasons that, to him, would have seemed logical, but they weren’t what she wanted.

“Because we love each other,” she told him. “I love you, and I want to know what’s burdening you even if it means that you put additional weight on me. One of the many reasons why marriages work and so much sense is because you share your burdens.”

“I know that,” Oliver replied with a low sigh, nodding his head. “I know that now.”

“Yeah?”

Oliver nodded his head. “Looking back now, I know that I had to tell you the truth. No matter how William would have decided, telling you had always been right. Even if he hadn’t wanted to be part of our life, telling you would have made him a part of our life nonetheless. He would have been with us even though he wasn’t really there.”

“That’s true.” Felicity stroked her hands up and down Oliver’s chest once more, cocking her head a little more. “If you learned about him now, what would you do?”

“Tell you either way,” Oliver replied without hesitation. “I know it’s a terrible thing to say, but I trust you even more now then I did back then. We already had two children when I leaned about William, so I should have already trusted you fully, but I realize now that I didn’t. I didn’t trust you as much as I should have done, and I am sorry for it.”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “You trust me now, and we still are together. That is all that should really matter. It is all that really matters. I will never be mad at you for anything you thought or felt in our past as long as you are being a hundred percent honest to me now.”

“I am,” Oliver vowed, and she didn’t doubt the truth of his words. “I am a hundred percent honest with you now.”

“Good,” Felicity replied and brushed her lips against his. “That is what I wanted to hear.”

Oliver tightened his arms around her waist for a moment and captured her lips with his once more. Felicity could almost see how relieved he was to have gotten those words off his chest. They had burned him for quite some time now.

When Oliver tightened his hold on her hips, Felicity looked at him. His eyes showed worry, and she knew that it was her plan to tell her mother about Dominic that made him worry. He didn’t want her to get into a fight with her mother, especially now that Dominic had declined to take a position in their life.

“I have to,” Felicity told Oliver with a sigh before he got anything to say. “For the first time in like forever, my mom and I are really getting along. I don’t want to lose that.”

Oliver nodded his head although he didn’t seem a hundred percent sure. He brushed his lips against the tip of her nose as he loved to do to make her smile, and it didn’t fail its usual reaction again. Felicity smiled, looking at him with all the love she got for him.

“I am going to clear the garden for you two to talk.”

“You are getting ice cream?”

“Hell, yes,” he replied with a chuckle. “Mint chocolate chip and Stracciatella for you I guess?”

“You know me so well.”

“Yes, I do.”

The sound of his voice left no room for interpretation. This was about much more than just ice cream. Oliver knew her by heart, so he understood where her need to tell her mother about Dominic was coming from even though he didn’t feel that it was necessary. That was how deep his love and his understanding for her went.

Hand in hand, they strolled out into the garden where Donna was playing with her grandchildren and Hawk. Felicity tightened her arms around Oliver’s waist, holding onto him for a moment as she watched the scene. Years ago, when she and her mother had still been so at odds and Oliver had denied himself and her the love they deserved, a moment like this would have been unthinkable. Felicity wouldn’t have thought that she had kids, and she had been sure that, even if she did have kids, her mother wouldn’t be involved in her or their life as she was now.

“Okay,” Oliver said eventually, rubbing his hand up and down Felicity’s arm encouragingly. “Everyone, whose last name is Queen and who is younger than twelve years old, gets into the car to grab ice cream right now.”

With cries of joys, the kids already ran into the house. They really didn’t have to be told twice when it came to ice cream. Felicity guessed that they were taking after her when it came to that.

“Chocolate and lemon for you?” Oliver asked, pointing at Donna.

She smiled. “I knew that my daughter made the right decision to get married to you.”

��His skills at getting ice cream really are wonderful,” Felicity agreed. “If it wasn’t for them, I am not sure our marriage would have worked out so well.”

“Well, I do have other skills that are quite important to point out,” Oliver mumbled and grinned when Felicity shot him a warning glance. “But I will keep those to myself.”

“Since you have given me five grandchildren, I am sure I know what skills we are talking about.” Donna noticed Felicity’s warning glance that was directed at her now and quickly cleared her throat. “But of course we won’t talk about that.”

Oliver kissed Felicity’s cheek and tightened his arms around her shoulders briefly before he tuned towards the door. Hawk was sitting there, waggling his tail nervously.

“You want to come with us?”

Hawk barked like he had understood exactly what Oliver had asked him. He jumped up at him excitedly and without touch Oliver with his paws, he licked his face.

“Then come on,” Oliver replied and nodded his head towards the house. “You come with us.”

Hawk didn’t even look back before he followed Oliver inside quickly, always keeping eye contact to make sure that Oliver knew he would be a good guy. Hawk really was a treasure. Bruce couldn’t have chosen any better dog for the family.

“I guess you have something to tell me?”

Donna’s question made Felicity turn her head towards her mother quickly. She smiled, cocking her head with the slightest shake of her head.

“Felicity, I am the one that raised you,” Donna told her with gentle voice, “so I do know that you find a way to make us share some time alone when you want to tell me something important.”

Felicity tried to smile, but she doubted that it showed on her lips. She was too nervous to actually manage a real smile. The facial expression had to look terrifying though her mother didn’t let it show if it was as bad as Felicity feared it was.

Donna stepped closer and grabbed Felicity’s hands. Looking at her daughter’s eyes intently, she squeezed her fingers. A little part of Felicity wondered if her mother had already been able to guess what had been on her daughter’s mind. The way she looked at her almost made her think so.

“Are you pregnant again?”

Obviously, she hadn’t.

“Since you came back from Gotham, I wondered if that was what was making you so distant,” she said with soft voice. “Are you pregnant again and suffering through another round of prenatal depression? If that is the case-“

“Mom,” Felicity interrupted Donna with firm voice, “I already have five kids.”

“So?” Donna asked. “It’s not like you are too old to have another baby, and I would be so happy to-“

“I am not having another baby,” Felicity said firmly, shaking her head. “I will never have another baby. Oliver and I took care of that. Snip snap.”

Donna perked up her eyebrows. “You got yourself sterilized?”

Felicity bit down on her tongue. The truth was that Oliver had been the one to get sterilized as a surgery like that was much easier on a man than it was on a woman. He had done the research on that and offered to do it while she had still been pregnant with Addie. Maybe her mother didn’t need all the details though.

“Kind of,” she just replied, clearing her throat. “I am not pregnant anyway.”

“Oh.” Donna stroked her fingertips through Felicity’s hair. “That’s sad.”

“Five kids, Mom,” Felicity pointed out once more, “and a puppy.”

At that, Donna chuckled. “Don’t worry. I know that I already got more than lucky with all the grandchildren I have. Besides, maybe with Laurel and Tommy’s wedding coming up, I will get another few grandchildren to spoil.”

“And you have Robbie.”

“That’s right.”

Donna smiled, thinking about all the grandchildren she had thanks to her daughter and Thea, who had just decided to make her the grandmother of her children too as her own parents as well as Roy’s were already dead. Donna was blessed when it came to grandchildren, and Felicity was almost sure that she would indeed have some more through the years. Even if Laurel and Tommy decided not to have kids, she was sure that Thea and Roy weren’t done yet.

“Now, why did you want to be alone with me?” Donna asked. “There has to be another reason, right?”

“There is,” Felicity agreed. “Maybe we should sit down.”

The moment Felicity asked her mother do so, she already regretted it. Donna’s smile faded from her lips. Pure panic was to be seen in her eyes instead. Without knowing what it was that Felicity wanted to tell her, she just assumed the worst.

“Are you sick?” she asked immediately. “How bad is it? Is it cancer? Have you been to a doctor, and have you gotten a second opinion on this because I could swear that it’s not always what they think it is. If you need a little more time off, you know what I will always take the kids, and I can take Hawk too, and if there is any way Quentin can help with the Arrow business, I am sure-“

“Dad had a child before me.”

Felicity’s words made her mother fall silent immediately. She was holding her breath, obviously shocked by what Felicity had just told her.

Biting down on her tongue, Felicity regretted that she had told her mother like this. It hadn’t been her plan to do it like that. She had wanted to sit her mother down and tell her about this in a quiet moment. With the ramble her mother had talked herself into, se hadn’t been able to keep quiet about it any longer though.

“What?” her mother asked eventually. “What did you just say?”

Felicity sighed. Taking her mother’s hand, she led her to the garden table and pushed her into one of the armchairs before she sat down next to her. She was holding both of her hands in hers, rubbing her thumbs over the back of her hands slowly.

“Before dad and you got together, he has been with another woman, and he fathered a child,” Felicity explained with low voice. “His name is Dominic Cole Cash.”

Donna nodded slowly, still trying to process the words. Obviously, she hadn’t known about this. It didn’t exactly surprise Felicity though as her dad just hadn’t been the most talkative person. She had been sure that he hadn’t told anyone about Dominic.

“How do you know that?”

“Dad wrote me a letter from Iron Height as a while ago,” Felicity explained, shrugging her shoulders. “He told me that he had a son who was older than me.”

“You sought for him?”

“No, not really,” Felicity replied, shaking her head. “I read that letter, but I decided that I don’t want to have anything to do with him. He wasn’t really my brother after all, at least not to me.”

“But?” Donna asked, sensing that there was a but coming.

“But I met him in Gotham City.” Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “He saved my life when one of his former friends went after my life.”

Donna’s hands tightened around Felicity’s fingers quickly, and she looked at her intensely. Felicity knew that her mother was worried, but she quickly shook her head.

“I am fine,” she replied, shaking her head slightly. “I wasn’t in any danger.”

That might not be exactly true, but Felicity guessed that it was better to lie to her mother in this case. She didn’t want he to be even more worried.

“So,” Donna asked, clearing her throat, “how is your half-brother?”

Devastated was the first word to come to Felicity’s mind, but she kept that to herself. She was almost sure that her mother would tell her that she had saved enough souls as it was. After all, Donna knew how much Felicity had worked to make sure that Oliver was getting better after all the trauma had gone through.

“He has been through a lot,” Felicity just explained evasively. “I think that his job hasn’t been easy on him. He thinks that it’s better for him to be alone.”

Felicity could almost see her mother releasing a breath of relief. She quickly combed her fingers through her daughter’s hair to distract both of them from the heaviness of Felicity’s words. A person who thought what it was better to be alone when he wasn’t a person who would usually be alone couldn’t be happy.

“Maybe it’s best that way, Honey,” Donna said softly. “You father has brought so much pain upon you, and I am not sure that his son would have done anything else.”

Felicity bit down on her tongue, not quite agreeing with her mother. She knew that she was a lot angrier with Noah than Felicity herself was. Maybe that was the reason why she just chose to think that his son would carry the same negative energy. Felicity wasn’t sure that it was fair as Dominic, as broken as he might have been, had seemed a lot nicer than their father.

“Would you be very disappointed if I told you that I would have liked him to be a part of our lives?”

Donna sighed. “Of course not. If you feel that he would have been a great addition to your life, I am sorry that he chose differently. It’s his loss though,”

Felicity nodded, knowing that her mother was probably right. She had a lot of love and happiness to offer. If Dominic chose not to take it, it was his decision. She couldn’t take it personal, and she couldn’t blame herself for it. She shouldn’t even pity herself for it.

Seeing the sadness in her daughter’s face, Donna wrapped her arms around Felicity and hugged her tightly for a moment. Felicity rested her face against her mother’s shoulder and breathed her in.

“You cannot save them all, Felicity,” Donna whispered. “As much as I know you would like to, you cannot save them all. Some people just don’t know what to do with the offer of being saved.”

Felicity sighed. She knew her mother was right, but it was still hard to accept.

* * *

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[hope-for-olicity]

Pregnant

Post 7x13 story dealing with Felicity’s thoughts about the unplanned pregnancy. Also available on AO3.

“Felicity, you are pregnant. Did you hear me?” Dr Schwartz voice rang hollow in her eye.

“Ahem, I heard you. Thanks for letting me know. I need to go now.” Felicity hung up without saying goodbye. Pregnant. She’s pregnant, Felicity looked down noticing already that her hand covered her stomach protectively.

Felicity quickly removed her hand, walked back over to finish saying goodbye to William. The child she couldn’t protect who was now leaving. As she and Oliver waved goodbye, she felt the tears streaming down her cheeks. Her son was going. Another person choosing to leave her. Of course, she wanted what was best for him, that didn’t make it hurt any less.

As the door closed on William and his grandparents, Felicity turned to Oliver knowing he would need her support as his son had just left them. As had become the norm, Oliver did not look at her. She had no idea what to do, how to help him. He kept her at bay lately and she was afraid to ask why. She had just gotten him home, she did not want to push him away. “Oliver,” she said tentatively as she reached out to him, maybe they could grieve together.

“I’m going to go out. Sorry, Felicity I just need to clear my mind. I’ll be back for dinner.” Oliver grabbed his coat headed out leaving her alone. Alone to grieve, alone with her thoughts.

Felicity’s first thought was I’ll get a glass of wine that will help. Then she remembered, nope that was an option anymore. She poured herself a glass of water. She put the glass on the kitchen counter without taking a sip. The tears were streaming down her face. His son is gone. Her husband is here but not here and she’s pregnant.

Felicity touched her stomach. If she was honest, this was not something she had ever seen for herself. Some girls dreamed of growing up getting married and having a family.  There is nothing wrong with that dream but Felicity never dreamt it for herself. She never in a million years thought she’d meet a man as wonderful as Oliver Queen. He changed her entire world. She loved him more than life itself. So it made perfect sense to marry him. As for children, she knew Oliver might want them. She said how he was with JJ, how he treated his sister, he was a natural nurturer. He was so good with William. Felicity, on the other hand, was never good with babies, she always thought she would break them and they didn’t like her, tended to cry when she held them. So if she ever thought of children with Oliver it was in the future, far distant future. After they retired from fighting crime.

Clearly, that’s not how it was going to be. She was pregnant now. She had never felt more alone. Diggle and she never talked, Curtis is moving away and she was never that close with Rene. She wished she had someone to talk to. Felicity had no idea how Oliver was going to react. She knew how Oliver before prison would react, now, she was a little nervous.

When Oliver came home from prison, he couldn’t get enough of her, nor she of him. Which must have been when this baby was conceived but in recent weeks it was like she barely existed. Would he be excited about the baby? Truthfully, she needed him to be excited. This baby deserved to have someone excited. Felicity feared this would just be another child she could not protect.

Felicity just felt tired. She lay down on the couch pulling the throw over herself, maybe she’d feel better when she woke.

→→→→→

Felicity woke hours later, the condo dark. Her first thought was no Oliver. She looked around for her phone saw it on the table in front of her. She picked up, squinting as the bright light hit her eyes. No text either.

Felicity: Hey, Oliver, are you heading home soon?

Felicity: I’m starting to get worried

Oliver: Sorry, got caught up with something at the precinct

Oliver: Not sure, when I’ll be back

So like Oliver to throw himself into work when he is upset. Felicity wished he’d come home but she couldn’t make it so.

She decided to order pizza for dinner. Pizza had cheese which is dairy, which is good for the baby, right?

→→→→→

Felicity waited until one in the morning until she finally gave up and went to bed alone. She cried herself to sleep, not even sure what she was crying about.

She woke a couple of hours later when she felt the bed dip and Oliver get in. “Hey, I missed you. Are you okay?”

“I will be. I have to be, right? Sorry, I’m tired. We’ll talk in the morning.” Oliver rolled on his side away from her.

“Okay, goodnight,” Felicity said softly holding back her tears.

→→→→→

Felicity awoke first the next morning. She’d slept in one of Oliver’s old t-shirts, she hauled on a pair of yoga pants as she made her way to the kitchen. Without thinking, she threw a k-cup in the Keurig, watched as her coffee brewed. She had just savoured her first sip when she remembered. She ran to the sink, spitting the coffee out. What was it about pregnant ladies and caffeine? She couldn’t remember, was it none or a little? She picked up her tablet to Google the answer. She was relieved she could probably have this one cup and be okay. She needed to book a follow-up appointment with Dr. Schwartz. She knew nothing about babies and pregnancies and she didn’t want to endanger the baby when it was in her body.

She looked at the time on her tablet almost eight-thirty, probably not to early to call Dr. Schwartz. Due to the multiple injuries her husband and team endured over the years, she had Dr. Schwartz’s direct number. She picked up on the first ring.

“Hi, it’s Felicity Smoak, sorry about yesterday, I was in shock. Would you have time to squeeze me in today? I have a few questions.” Felicity looked around the room for some reason worried Oliver would overhear the phone call. “You can fit me in an hour? I’ll be there. Thanks so much.”

Felicity dumped the rest of her coffee down the sink. Better to be safe than sorry, then quietly went into their bedroom. Trying to not to disturb her sleeping husband. She had just finished dressing when Oliver rolled over, looking at her. She sensed he’d been awake the moment she entered the room. “Going out?” He said groggily.

“Yes, I have a few errands. I’ll be back for lunch. Will you be here? If you want we can talk about William. Plan a trip to visit him?” Felicity tried so hard to keep the hope out of her voice. She loved Oliver so much and she knew he loved her despite his current actions. She knew she had to tell him and the longer she waited the more hurt he would be. And there had already been too much hurt.

“I should be here. I’ll make us lunch.” Oliver began to get out of bed.

“Alright, I’ll be back soon. She kissed his cheek, rushing out of the bedroom.” Truthfully, she missed him asking where she was going, what errands? But he had a lot on his mind these days.

→→→→→

Dr. Schwartz opened her office door. “Felicity, come on in.”

Felicity followed Dr. Schwartz inside shutting the door behind her.

“Have a seat,” the doctor gestured to the seat across from her desk.

“Thank you,” Felicity was nervous. She began to fidget. Which was crazy she’d known Dr. Schwartz for years. There was no need to be nervous. “Again, I’d like to apologize for hanging up on you yesterday. We were in the middle of a bit of a family crisis, William went to live with his grandparents and I was shocked.”

Dr. Schwartz looked at Felicity sympathetically, “Felicity, I accepted your apology this morning. I’m sorry to hear that William is gone. That must have been for upsetting for you and Oliver.”

“Yes, it’s best for him. He chose it. William deserves a normal life.” Felicity wiped a tear from her cheek. This was still a very raw topic for her.

Dr. Schwartz handed her a tissue. “I’m so sorry, again, Felicity. But I’m guessing you are here to talk about the pregnancy?”

Felicity nodded, pulling herself together.

“You are about a month along, which is why you may not have noticed, you may have just thought your period was late.”

Felicity nodded, “my periods have been irregular since Oliver went to prison. I thought it was stress.”

Dr. Schwartz nodded. “So, I take it this was unplanned? How do you feel about this pregnancy, Felicity?”

Felicity couldn’t help it, she burst into tears. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled.

Dr. Schwartz took her hand in comfort. “It’s okay, Felicity. You have been through a lot and this will be a big change. Have you told Oliver? Do you want to have the baby? You still have time to make decisions”

Felicity wiped her eyes, took a deep breath. “I haven’t told Oliver, I will today. I’m going to keep the baby. But I appreciate you telling me my options - I’m pro-choice.” Felicity gave the doctor a watery smile. “I guess, I really wanted to see you so I could find out how to keep our baby safe? Like can I drink coffee? Are there things I should avoid? I just want to protect our baby.”

Dr. Schwartz began typing on her laptop, Felicity heard the printer, printing behind her. The doctor handed Felicity the printed pages. “Here is a list of foods and drinks to eat and avoid. Also, a little information about the changes your body is going through at this time and some websites and books to check out. How are you feeling? Tired? Nauseous?”

Felicity took the pages from the doctor. “I am tired but there has been a lot going on. So, I don’t know if it’s related. Otherwise, I feel fine.”

“We should set up an appointment for your first ultrasound. I’ll write you a prescription for prenatal vitamins.” Dr. Schwartz printed off the prescription. “Here you go and Felicity if you have any questions. Please reach out to me.”

→→→→→

When Felicity got back to the condo, she was exhausted. Maybe this was a symptom. She touched her belly.

She opened the door, listened to her security system announce her arrival.

Oliver came rushing out of the bedroom. “I was just about to start lunch. Is there something you are craving?” Oliver walked past her into the kitchen, without looking at her. For some reason, it hurt more this time.

Felicity walked over to the kitchen, “Oliver, I need you to look at me.” She had been scared to say those words for a while but if they were going to have a baby, they were going to have to deal with what was going on with him.

Oliver turned to look at his wife. “What is wrong?”

Tagging some people who might be interested:

@mindramblingsfics @memcjo @mel-loves-all @wherethereissmoak @green-arrows-of-karamel @spaztronautwriter @wrldtravler @tdgal1 @vaelisamaza @oliverfel4 @lucyyh @swordandarrow @smoaking-greenarrow @it-was-a-red-heeler @miriam1779 @coal000 @blondeeoneexox @laurabelle2930 @allimariexf @onceuponarrow @swordandarrow @leuska

[jbuffyangel]

Unconditional Love: Arrow 7x09 Review (Elseworlds Part 2)

The crossover was only five minutes long. Wow! It went by so fast.

Source: whoeveryoulovethemost

(Fair warning: if you are a Fl*sh fan I wouldn’t read this.)

Let’s dig in…

Olicity

I watched a lot of insufferable bullshit to get two scenes, but they are really good scenes. I love y’all and this couple a lot. Suffering builds character as they say, so maybe I’ll ascend to heaven body and soul because I put up with The Fl*sh for an hour. I’m also being a little overly dramatic, but that’s just details.

We didn’t start out great though. Oliver, B*rry and K*ra show up in Star City and rather than tell Felicity directly what is going on, Oliver chooses to keep her out of the loop. He feels they have enough problems as it is and he doesn’t want to pile on. 

Sure, absolutely. Totally right call, Oliver. More lies are exactly what are required to fix your marriage. Since Felicity is angry about lying you should lie even more, so she trusts you again. Your logic is spectacular. I couldn’t be prouder.

I honestly had a very low bar as I sat down to watch the Arrow hour of the crossover. I just didn’t want to throw things at the television like I had the night before. I did not achieve my goal. The bar was much too high.

I don’t know why Arrow thinks they need to add drama on top of drama. The writers do this all the time particularly with Olicity. It’s not enough Oliver didn’t discuss going to prison with Felicity before he made a deal with the FBI. Nope! He has to make the same mistake again, so the characters are triggered to discuss it in the current episode. 

Lying about prison is plenty to work through. Oliver doesn’t need to lie again, so they can talk about lying. One asinine, disrespectful, they’ve-already-dealt-with-this-issue-in-previous-seasons problem at a time please.

Then, Cisco and Caitlin try to pass it off like Ir*s knew immediately B*rry wasn’t B*rry and, once again, this proves they are true soul mates. Felicity immediately feels terrible about herself and her relationship with Oliver because she didn’t realize her husband wasn’t her husband. Maybe their disconnection is even more serious than she realized.

IR*S DID NOT KNOW IMMEDIATELY. She spent the better part of an hour figuring it out. When she wasn’t pawing Oliver like a cat, she was throwing B*rry and Oliver in prison because she thought they were crazy. Oh by the way, one of them was her husband, so she knowingly threw her spouse in meta human jail. She very slowly and reluctantly began to believe them 20 minutes into the episode. Yeah, that’s right. I clocked it.

When B*rry (Gr*nt G*stin) tells her, “No matter what mask I am wearing I will always show you my true face,” and tries to hold her hand she does not grab back (as far as I could tell).

That was a hell of a line. Perfect time for some kissing, but Ir*s is more concerned about B*rry becoming Oliver. She couldn’t bring herself to return any affection from the man she believed was Oliver Queen. Sorry kids, this is not how I define “belief.” But you know soul mates.

Felicity does not spend anywhere near the same amount of time with B*rry and Oliver as Ir*s did. 

Source:  hollandrooden 

They show up in Star City, nobody tells Felicity what is going on, she leaves to work out the lightning problem with Curtis, and the trio heads off to Gotham City. 

Source:  hollandrooden

Felicity spent 30 seconds with Oliver and B*rry compared to Ir*s’ 20 minutes. Yes, I clocked it again. Maybe if Felicity was given the same amount of time then she would have figured it out too.

Nobody tells Caitlin and Cisco Felicity doesn’t know, so they accidentally tell her about the body swap. Of course, it’s totally insane Caitlin and Cisco assumed Felicity’s husband told her the friggin truth right? *bleeped for barrage of expletives*

Source:  hollandrooden

Felicity: It’s not every day that you find out your ex is your husband and vice versus.

Does B*rry count as an ex? I guess they had a mini date and she did wear that dress. 

Also there was kissing. Yeah, okay ex it is.

Caitlin tells Felicity she shouldn’t read too much into Ir*s immediately knowing B*rry wasn’t B*rry. (I agree, particularly since she didn’t know immediately.) Caitlin says Ir*s just has more experience with B*rry screwing things up. Okay, she didn’t really say it that way, but she should have. What Caitlin says is Ir*s has more experience with alternate realities.  She also shares how Team Fl*sh locked B*rry and Oliver up in jail when they tried to explain what happened.

Felicity: I appreciate you saying that but it’s just another excuse in a long list of excuses for Oliver’s behavior.

Felicity is tired and she should be. Oliver always has a reason for keeping her in the dark, but it doesn’t make it okay. Those reasons don’t excuse all the lying. What Felicity wants, what she has always wanted, is Oliver’s trust and respect.

Source:  oliverfelicitygifs

I really love this scene between Caitlin and Felicity because it captures the struggle of marriage so well. Your partner will hurt and disappoint you at some point. We marry imperfect people. A very large part of marriage is learning how to move past the anger and find forgiveness. 

There are aspects of my husband’s personality I don’t like, but I know will never change and vice versus. Unconditional love doesn’t require you agree with everything your partner does. It doesn’t mean you can’t be angry with your spouse. However, it does require loving your spouse in spite of the things you don’t like. Unconditional love requires acceptance.

Source:  unicornships

This is essentially what Caitlin is telling Felicity. Yes, they have pretty big problems right now, but the only way through it is love. You have to hold on to the love you have for your spouse and let it guide you through the times you don’t like them very much. It’s the only way bridge the anger and separation. This is how you find your way through a fraught relationship.

I am not as angry with Oliver over his lie about prison as I was about the William lie. I don’t believe Oliver’s intentions were to exclude Felicity from his life. I believe he was trying to protect her and, to some extent, himself. Oliver knew Felicity would convince him not to go to jail and at the time he didn’t see any other way. At the end of the day, his actions were heroic even though they hurt Felicity in the process.

However, Arrow has done an absolutely terrible job of explaining Oliver’s point of view. They’ve never allowed Oliver to verbalize his reasons or even offer an explanation for why he didn’t include Felicity in the decision. The viewers shouldn’t have to get their explanations via interviews with executive producers.

I know we’re all as tired as Felicity is with the lying. However, this isn’t just about Oliver lying. This is about what will never change in Oliver. He will always be the one to fall on the sword. His heroic actions will often be detrimental to his relationship with his wife because those actions require sacrifice. It requires Oliver to put other people and other things before his own happiness. His selflessness won’t always be what is best or healthiest for his marriage.

This is why it’s important they are hashing this out. Oliver hurt Felicity. He shouldn’t have excluded her from the decision, even if he was afraid she’d talk him out of it. Felicity needs to be part of these decisions, so it’s easier for her to deal with consequences. At least then she can feel like she has some control or say in her own life.

Source:  hollandrooden

While Oliver was away, Felicity had to become someone else. Oliver left Felicity to the wolves and she had to learn how to protect herself. She is exploring her concept of morality and justice. Something Oliver has done a million times. 

However, when Oliver returned home and saw firsthand how Felicity has changed, she wasn’t treated with the same respect, trust and unconditional love she’s shown Oliver all these years. Felicity encouraged Oliver to find another way, but she was never judgmental about it. Felicity believed in Oliver no matter what.

Felicity’s darkness still pales in comparison to Oliver’s. She may be exploring the moral grey, but it in no way compares to Oliver’s forays. Felicity was greeted with disbelief and, “This isn’t you,’ admonishments instead of understanding and love. 

As I said, I have no problem with Felicity owning a gun, but I didn’t agree with how she used the gun in “Unmasked.” Oliver may have cause to be concerned, but he wasn’t asking the right questions to help Felicity. He was focused on what she was doing rather than listening to what she had gone through. Felicity trusted Oliver even when he was dropping bodies on a weekly basis. His judgment felt like a lack of belief and trust, which he has never felt from her even in his darkest of moments.

After spending some time as B*rry All*n, Oliver realizes he may have overreacted a bit to the changes in his wife. 

His speech is monumentally important for several reasons. Oliver has acted like a supreme jackass for the better part of seven months. He lied, excluded Felicity from decisions in her own life, and then judged his wife for the decisions she made in his absence. Homeboy needed one hell of an apology. As I said in the Watchover podcast this is bases loaded, two outs, bottom of the ninth, and in the last game of the World Series. Oliver needed to man up and be the husband (and superhero) Felicity deserves.

As speeches go, this is a spectacular one. If you are a long time Arrow fan, then you know this another role shift for Oliver and Felicity. Typically, it is Felicity fixing problems with a grand speech. She’s the one who expounds on how long and how much she loves him. It doesn’t mean Oliver loves Felicity any less, but he is more quiet and simple in his declarations.

Source: oliverfelicitygifs 

Not this time. This is really the first time Oliver has tried to quantify his love for Felicity. Oliver finds the English language falls woefully short as he tries to explain how much he loves Felicity, . There isn’t truly a word for how much he feels for her.

Felicity is on edge when Oliver begins talking. He tells her everything will be okay and acknowledges people change. However, none of that eases her anxiety or anger. It’s only when Oliver reassures Felicity his love for her will never change that we see her relief. Oliver may be right about all the other stuff, but what hits home for Felicity is his unconditional love. We can see how worried she was that the person she is becoming is going to cost her Oliver. What Felicity really needed to hear was that could never happen.

It’s also one of the first times Oliver’s love declaration is focused on Felicity. I love his vows, both sets. 

However, when Oliver is telling Felicity how much he loves her in these moments he focuses on the impact she’s had on his life. It’s a lot about what Felicity’s love has done for him rather than what he feels only for her.

It’s not bad thing. It’s doesn’t make his vows any less powerful or amazing, because Felicity has had a life altering effect on Oliver. However, I don’t believe this was the kind of speech Oliver needed to make in this moment. He needed to focus only on Felicity and how he feels about her.

Source: oliverfelicitygifs

And Oliver does focus on Felicity. BIG TIME. His judgment is gone and in its place are respect, love and understanding. Change is not a bad thing. Oliver understands as life goes on both Felicity and he will become different people, but no matter who Felicity becomes Oliver will always love her. He marries every version of Felicity Smoak, now and forever.

Of course, we knew Felicity is the love of Oliver Queen’s life. Hearing him say the words is another thing entirely though. Oliver quantifies his love for Felicity just as she has done for him. 

Felicity made it clear she fell in love with Oliver the moment he walked into her office. I suspected as much, so I never tire of hearing Felicity say this.

I also believe it took Oliver longer. He didn’t know what to make of Felicity Smoak at first. 

She sparked something foreign, yet familiar inside of him. Oliver came alive again when he met Felicity, but he didn’t know what it meant until later. Oliver fell in love slowly and then all at once.

“Love of my life” puts a stamp on his relationship with Felicity in a way Oliver has never done before. There never was or ever could be another woman in Oliver’s life who he loves more than Felicity Smoak. 

The petty side of me is also gleeful because when LL used this same terminology Oliver greeted it with silence. 

There is a vast difference between love and in love. LL stands at one of the spectrum and Felicity Smoak the other. 

Source:  felicitysmoakdaily

There is only one worth living for though and this is what Oliver is declaring. Felicity will always be Oliver’s life no matter who Felicity becomes. He will always choose her.

Trust is Felicity’s love language. Apologies don’t mean as much as Oliver’s belief and trust. So, Oliver saying he loves every version of her, and will be with her no matter what, is exactly what Felicity needs to hear. Oliver is giving Felicity the same love, trust and belief she’s always given him. This is the kind of husband and superhero she deserves. 

If Felicity is going to continue to examine her morality, and I think she should, then Oliver needs to give her unconditional love so A) she has the freedom to explore a darker side and B) so he can pull her back if she crosses too many lines.

Source:  felicitysmoakdaily

Oliver and B*rry have not switched back yet. Felicity believes she’s married to Gr*nt G*stin and the man standing before her, Stephen Amell, is not Oliver Queen but B*rry All*n. However, as Oliver speaks and Felicity listens to his words and hears the emotion in his voice, she knows it is him. Felicity knows this is her Oliver.

Source: oliverxfelicity

She whispers a sweet and soft, “Hi,” in recognition of who he truly is and then Felicity kisses him. I love how soft hellos are Oliver and Felicity’s way of reconnecting and reassuring. What was there in the beginning is still here today. What is most important remains unchanged.

It doesn’t matter to Felicity what body Oliver is in (although this was a serious upgrade, let’s be real). She recognizes her husband anywhere. 

What I love even more is Felicity initiates the kiss. There is no reluctance or hesitation. Felicity embraces her husband and accepts everything about him, as he has with her. 

They are both becoming different people (Oliver quite literally at this moment), but the love that binds them remains intact and will for the rest of their lives.

HERE ENDETH THE CROSSOVER! 

Yeah, I’m not kidding. We could stop right here. I care about nothing else. Here’s another kissing gif. *munches on popcorn*

Source: oliverfelicitygifs

Flash Mitch Leary shows up and interrupts Oliver and Felicity’s much needed make out session though. Probably would have led to sex. 

Way to go Flash Mitch Leary!

Because I do. Screw you Flash Mitch Leary. 

Did you notice Felicity clung to Oliver even though he’s technically still in the wrong body? All we do is win fandom!

Source: oliverfelicitygifs

Mr. Let’s Lay off the Public Displays of Affection doesn’t seem to mind at all. Oliver has no problem with PDA. It just depends who he’s PDA-ing with.

There are a few smaller moments in the crossover which shows us the miracle Felicity Smoak has been for Oliver Queen’s life. Oliver and B*rry are comparing notes on all the ways they’ve over simplified each other’s lives. B*rry has underestimated all the pain Oliver has survived. Oliver believes B*rry’s life is easy.

Oliver: B*rry I always thought you had it easy. Sunshine and rainbows… everybody likes you.

Stephen’s reading of “everybody likes you” is spot on perfect. Oliver is a little envious of the way everyone just accepts B*rry. Through the entire crossover Oliver has been the odd man out. He even remarks, “I guess I’m running alone,” when Kara zips off with B*rry to Gotham. Everyone has been taking pot shots at Oliver and stripping him down to his most basic and unpopular attributes. He’s a dark and hopeless man who fuels his anger via a mask and calls it heroism.

This is not the Oliver we know or Felicity knows. She is one of the few people who took the time to look beyond the surface to see the deeply good man underneath. 

Felicity has always believed in Oliver’s light. She’s always seen the hero Oliver truly is and his ability to inspire hope. Her belief is what made Oliver believe. He became that man because Felicity Smoak loves him.

This is why the unconditional love they share with each other is so important. Even among “friends” Oliver is treated with condemnation and judgment. Felicity is a rare gift and Oliver knows it. So, he chooses to give her the same unconditional love she’s given him. Oliver experiences the loneliness of judgment and never wants Felicity to feel alone with him. This is how you bridge the gap and build a marriage which will last until “death do us part.”

Source: oliverfelicitygifs

The Trashing of Oliver Queen

The theme for this year’s crossover is “Trash Oliver Queen.” It was two hours of nonstop dragging. 

Source: stephen-amell

The only reprieve we are given is during the Arrow hour of the crossover. At least those writers somewhat understand his character. Let’s run down the comments shall we?

"Oliver's life is completely defined by anger and vengeance."

"Please don't become Oliver Queen."

“Deck him B*rry! What? He’s a jerk.”

“Oliver Queen, the man who channels his hubris and anger and calls it strength.”

“One time Oliver cheated on his girlfriend with her sister.”

There’s probably more, but that’s plenty. 

Ir*s spends the majority of The Fl*sh episode terrified she’s married to Oliver Queen or B*rry will become Oliver Queen. Since it is the female protagonist making all these statements about Oliver Queen, it is simply accepted as truth.

What’s worse is Oliver doesn’t act like our Oliver.  Ir*s says Oliver is defined by anger, so he has over the top temper tantrums. I’m not saying B*rry wasn’t insulted too. However, when Oliver gets his digs in at B*rry he’s yelling. B*rry refuses to engage and walks away. This reinforces everything Ir*s has said about Oliver. It feels like the writers are saying, “See? We’re right! He’s just a horrible, dark, muscle bound hulk of angry. Isn’t B*rry so much better?” It’s disgusting. This is character assassination. Plain and simple.

It is so bad it became distracting. I couldn’t appreciate some of the genuinely funny moments because I was too busy fuming. 

I mean, B*rry is telling K*ra how slutty Oliver was back in the day. 

Source:  olivergifs

Alright, this was a tiny bit funny, but why are we rehashing the Sarah/Oliver/Laurel debacle? IT WAS TEN YEARS AGO. 

This is all an effort cast Oliver in a terrible light, while K*ra and B*rry gloat over it because he’s Gandhi and she’s Mother Theresa. Here’s a hot tip: If you are trying to get Arrow fans to watch the other shows then don’t insult their favorite characters.

The Oliver being described in this year’s crossover hasn’t been around since Season 3. In fact, it feels like neither The Fl*sh nor S*pergirl writers watched an Arrow episode after 3x02. I am willing to acknowledge Oliver has some anger, but he has not been controlled by it or fueled by it for YEARS. I’m not talking a few episodes or a season. I’m talking actual years of character growth being ignored to write this bullshit. SEVEN YEARS to be exact.

Oliver is defined by the love he has for his wife, son, team and city. This is a man who is willing to sacrifice everything for the people and city he loves. If Oliver was merely fueled by anger and vengeance he would have been done or dead years ago.

In Defense of Oliver Queen

Oliver suffered unimaginable nightmares for five years. He was tortured. Every single person he ever loved either died for him or because of him. He could never fully trust anyone. He had to make life and death decisions every day. He had to forge himself into a weapon, strip himself of his humanity, to survive.

The process in which Oliver Queen became the Arrow and the process in which B*rry All*n became the Fl*sh are night and day. B*rry was struck by lightning. But Oliver? Oliver became the Arrow through sheer force of will. He worked for it, trained for it and bled for it.  His survival depended on it.

B*rry didn’t lose himself when he became The Fl*sh. Oliver had to stop being Oliver Queen. He had to stop trusting. He had to stop believing. He had to stop hoping. He had to stop caring. He had to stop loving. He had to stop being a person. It was the only way for him to survive.  Humanity was just another thing that could kill him.

And yet, despite everything Oliver suffered, he retained his goodness. He fought his way back from the depths of hell and held onto his humanity. He found a way to love and hope again. Oliver Queen is a miracle.

This incessant need The Fl*sh has to compare B*rry to Oliver is a foolhardy endeavor. There is no competition, but writers confident in their character don’t need to trash another one to feel superior. Maybe The Fl*sh has to insult Oliver Queen because deep down they believe their hero doesn’t measure up. It makes me wonder because I’ve never seen television writers treat the characters that launched their show so terribly – and yes I include Felicity and Diggle. Oliver is written as a violent monster, Felicity is a ditzy bimbo, and Diggle could care less B*rry erased his daughter. Every time I watch an Arrow character on The Fl*sh they are a stranger to me. 

I don’t know y’all. This all feels like a massive inferiority complex.

Arrow has clearly shown there is a light in Oliver Queen just as inspiring as B*rry All*n’s or Sup*rgirl’s.  Oliver has evolved far beyond the man who came home from Lian Yu. He isn’t Season 1 Oliver no matter how hard The Fl*sh and Sup*rgirl try to characterize him that way.

He has evolved far beyond dough. Oliver is a baked cookie Felicity gets to munch on and enjoy.

In fact, Oliver’s heroism is what inspired B*rry to become the friggin Fl*sh to begin with! 

Yeah, that’s right Fl*sh people. I am not letting you forget your fave is a spin off launched from ARROW. No matter how much you trash Oliver Queen it isn’t going to erase history. The DCTV universe became a success because Arrow is a success. This is like pretending Ironman had nothing to do with Marvel’s movie franchise. Give me a friggin break. RESPECT YOUR ELDERS.

We also have to deal with severe continuity issues. Ir*s tells Oliver (who she thinks is B*rry) about how angry Felicity is he cut a deal with the feds without discussing it with her. Oliver looks shocked to hear this. 

Source: oliverxfelicity

SHOCKED. 

Oliver knows Felicity is pissed about him going to prison. He’s known it for seven months. If Oliver forgot then it was explained to him again during the massive fight he had with Felicity about it last week. It is clear The Fl*sh writers have not watched a single episode of Arrow this year, which is just aggravating.

This is all evidence to Ir*s that Oliver is a horrible person and she is so grateful she married Rainbow Brite. There is absolutely no way she could be married to Oliver Queen. Listen, cutie why don’t you take your moral condemnation and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine?

I seem to recall Rainbow Brite, aka B*rry All*n, made the exact same decision a few seasons ago. Didn’t B*rry go into the speed force without discussing it with you? Sure he did. In fact, Mr. and Mrs. Gold Standard went to couple’s therapy over it.

If there’s a storyline on Arrow then chances are The Fl*sh has copied it. I would be careful with the examples of how awful Oliver Queen is because I can match you example for example with how awful B*rry All*n is. At least Oliver pays for his mistakes.

If these characters had said Oliver’s life is completely defined by anger and vengeance during the first crossover (and they did) I would have said this is an incomplete picture of him. However, I could understand why someone who just met Oliver would feel like it is true. But we’re in SEASON SEVEN of Arrow. These people have fought side by side together for four years.

Ir*s’ attitude towards Oliver doesn’t even make sense. She was at his friggin wedding while he was bursting with sunshine and moonbeams. Ir*s knows Oliver is a good man, so this is equally an assassination of her character as well. But what else is new on The Fl*sh?

Even B*rry’s reactions to Oliver’s interactions with Ir*s are insane. He tells Oliver not to touch Ir*s. When Oliver assures B*rry he hasn’t he responds with, “You thought about it.” 

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? NO HE HASN’T. All Oliver has wanted from the second he woke up was to go back to his own bed where his REAL wife is.

The one climbing Oliver like a tree is Ir*s. The fact Ir*s is attracted to him isn’t a surprise to Oliver. 

Source:  supercanaries

This is not a detail she’s kept quiet over the years, but is also not something Oliver has encouraged. 

He practically glued himself to Felicity anytime Ir*s came near him. 

Source:  supercanaries

Oliver is frozen with shock and horror she acted on it. This was not the face of a man who has “thought about it.” Take up your insecurities with your wife Bartholomew and leave Oliver out of it.

However, if we’re talking about who “thought about it” then I submit this as evidence.

Source:  amunetblack

Spot the difference? This is the face of a man who is clearly enjoying himself. If there’s anybody thinking about touching his friend’s wife then it’s B*rry. Not Oliver. I don’t think either of them “cheated” but what annoyed me is the only one we’re commenting on is Oliver. B*rry, you dated Oliver’s wife. You’ve had TWO non platonic kisses. You are lucky to be alive. So, let’s cool it with the accusations.

Frankly, this year’s crossover feels like a retreaded ground. This argument B*rry is light and Oliver is dark was one made in the first Arrow/Fl*sh crossover. Both men had to learn and appreciate the kind of hero the other was. All the lessons B*rry and Oliver are learning this year are ones they’ve already learned. Only this time B*rry and Oliver have to switch lives. This is what running out of ideas looks like.

I mean, come on y’all. They actually had a scene where B*rry is held hostage, but convinces Oliver not to kill Deegan because “there’s a better way.” 

Source: olivergifs

WE. DID. THIS. EXACT. SCENE. IN. SEASON. 2.

I cannot even with this nonsense. 

Oliver stopped killing in Season 6!!! But it’s because of B*rry Oliver decided to find another way.

 Unbelievable. 

Do I think Oliver is going back to “I’m full of darkness” during the regular Arrow season? No. I don’t. We’ll go back to our regularly scheduled programming. Oliver will be our Oliver, complete with all seven seasons of character growth, and acting like the man we know and love. What happened in the crossover is all ridiculousness to sell the crossover story, which is continuing into “Crisis on Infinite Earths” in the fall of 2019.

If you think I am overreacting to how The Fl*sh characterized Oliver’s character then I would simply ask you to flip it. How would you feel if Felicity was talking about B*rry the way Ir*s spoke about Oliver? How would you feel if all of B*rry’s mistakes were dragged? How would you feel if the other characters believed B*rry’s selfishness represents everything he is? How would you feel if Arrow ignored five years of B*rry’s character growth? How would you feel if the other characters responded to B*rry as anything other than the hero he is? How would you feel if this wasn’t the first time B*rry All*n was insulted guest starring on Arrow? Methinks you would have a problem with it.

I am a little disappointed in myself for being so surprised. This has been a problem on The Fl*sh for a very long time. This behavior never happens on Arrow, I might add. The Arrow writers do not insult and trash B*rry’s character, so Oliver can look morally superior. So, thank you “Elseworlds” for reminding me why I stopped watching The Fl*sh. The writers are incapable of being respectful towards the character that launched their show.

What Did Oliver Promise?

Oh Lord Oliver. Why do you have to be so damn heroic all the time? It is highly problematic.

Source:  olivergifs

I didn’t pay much attention to the plot, because the plot made no sense.

Source:  clevercloudpoetry

This was fine for hours one and two, but then crap actually started to matter during hour three.  

I couldn’t understand why people were freaking out online about what Oliver promised. If you’d like to hear my realization in real time then listen to the latest episode of Watchover.

Oliver: You said I’d past the test if I knew my true self. Well, my true self is filled with darkness, but B*rry and K*ra are different. They inspire hope. They inspire people because they are the best of us.

Did Oliver promise his life to the Monitor in exchange for those ungrateful twats, B*rry and K*ra? 

Source: @olivergifs​

You bet he did.

This is why they are trashing Oliver so much in this year’s crossover. Oliver will sacrifice his life and B*rry, K*ra & Co., will realize he was a true hero all along. 

I might have to start saying a rosary to get through this.

OR they could have simply treated Oliver like the hero he is and the plot in the crossover would have made sense. I’m just brainstorming here. Don’t want to get too crazy with the ideas.

Source:  someone-like-robsten

Yup. Oliver will be a hero because of B*rry kids.

Oliver is not so subtle alluding to exchanging his life for Barry’s, hence his “I’ll get there some day,” but the line irritates me because this whole crossover irritates me.

Arrow has been moving Oliver toward a more defined moral code. He’s becoming the light for Star City. However, everyone acting like there’s been no character growth in this man for the last 7 years simply to sell this “Oliver is going to die” storyline in the crossovers is pure madness.

This dovetails nicely into the flash forwards doesn’t it? Essentially “Elseworlds” confirms, or at least heavily hints, Oliver dies and everything goes to shit because of it in the future. Well played, Beth Schwartz.

Are they going to kill Oliver? Yes, but it won’t be permanent. I mean, just say it out loud with me and you’ll hear how ludicrous this sounds.

Oliver dies during the “Crisis of Infinite Earths” or sooner. Felicity raises their children on her own. Star City goes to hell in a hand basket in 20 years. Felicity becomes an evil super villain determined to destroy the city and then she’s murdered. 

HERE ENDETH THE SHOW.

No. Absolutely not. I reject all of this. This is what Arrow (and the crossovers) are telling us happened, but these are same people who said Oliver is all darkness. So pardon me if I find their word suspect.

I believe there’s a high likelihood Season 8 could be Arrow’s finale season. In the midst of all this trashing of Oliver Queen, there also seems to be a consistent “passing of the guard” mentality. B*rry and K*ra are the heroes the world needs and Oliver is a piece of crap that kills people with arrows. It’s all in an effort to disentangle the Arrowverse from Arrow and Oliver Queen. Then they re-center it around B*rry All*n.

If Season 8 is the final season then Arrow just spoiled how their show ends. Oliver dies. Everything goes to crap in the future, but then his band of legacy heroes save the city 20 years later. Is it possible? Sure, absolutely. A hero’s journey can end with death, but announcing it or heavily foreshadowing like this takes away the shock factor.

This is classic diversion and red herrings. The writers want the fans freaking out Oliver is going to die while they are doing something else entirely. This reminds me a bit of Season 4. Everyone was so busy worrying about Felicity dying, and the red herrings pointing to her death, that nobody was noticing how Arrow was setting up Laurel’s death at the same time.

Yes, they are setting up Oliver’s death. 

Source:  olivergifs

However, they also set up Oliver’s happy ending. 

He wants to hang up the hood and live in peace with his family. The point of the “Elseworlds” promise is for Oliver to sacrifice his happy ending so the world can have the true heroes like B*rry and K*ra fighting for it. However, Oliver sacrificing his happy ending proves he’s just as selfless a hero as they are. But balance I guess.

All the “Oliver is darkness” nonsense is so heavy handed too. When Arrow introduces plot lines like this so early on, basically telling us how it all ends, then I give it major side eye. If Season 8 is the finale season then they aren’t telling us how Arrow ends a year before the next crossover.

So what is “Crisis on Infinite Earths?” Here’s a link explaining it more in detail, but essentially an evil version of The Monitor begins destroying the multiverse. Let’s call him Satan Monitor. A bunch of superheroes die and there’s only one universe remaining at the end. Satan Monitor has a side kick named Psycho Pirate. This is the masked man talking to the professor in Arkham. “Crisis on Infinite Earths” is also when B*rry All*n disappears (which has been a major plot point on The Fl*sh) and Sup*rgirl dies in the comics. This is the sum total of my knowledge.

We are supposed to believe the Green Arrow sacrifices himself for the universe and this is the ending of Arrow. However, “Crisis on Infinite Earths” will air in the fall of 2019. This is the beginning of Arrow’s 8th Season. Not the end. The other crossovers have always aired in the winter. They are not killing Oliver Queen in the beginning of Season 8. Nope. Not happening.

The fact they are threatening to kill Oliver so early is good for us. We always want the premiere and mid season to be a shit show, so we can get a happier ending in the finale. Consider the last time Oliver “died.” 

Things worked out okay for him in the end. 

And yeah, that’s also my hang up. They’ve already written the perfect death scene for Oliver Queen. It aired four years ago. Been there. Done that.

The Monitor: Are you truly that eager to die? No, not eager, but willing. Ready to.

Oliver willing to sacrifice himself is not a shock. This is not a man who fears death. When Oliver returned to Starling City, he did not expect to survive. He thought he would come back, save the city, but die in the process as some kind of atonement for his sins. 

As the season progresses, Oliver’s humanity begins to return and he becomes more and more attached to those he loves. This creates a struggle for him because he does not expect to live. This is why he told Tommy as he died,

So, it’s tough for me to see death as the ending for Oliver Queen. Yes, it’s possible. I won’t deny that, but I feel it is the more unlikely scenario. Particularly since the writers are heavily hinting at Oliver’s death and want us to be worried about it.

David told a fan at HVFF San Jose the flash forwards are one of the possible futures and we’d understand more in the crossover. 

@callistawolf and I were so confused because this is directly opposite of what Beth had said in interviews. TV Guide said Beth, “…confirmed that this is a fixed future, so we don't need to worry about B*rry All*n (Gr*nt G*stin) turning up and resetting the timeline or anything.” 

However, went I looked back at her Collider interview that’s not exactly what she said. She merely confirmed this future is not connected to Legends and the characters don’t know what happens in the future.

Is this a fixed future that we’re seeing, or is there the possibility that they can change things?

SCHWARTZ: This is not connected to Legends. This is our own future. They don’t know what happens in the future. Legends is like that and The Flash is like that, but on Arrow, they don’t know. This is very much for the audience. They don’t know what’s happening to them, in the future. It’s better that they don’t know.

She dodged answering the “fixed future” portion of the question. I have yet to find an interview where Beth comments on permanency. Sorry, David. We were wrong to doubt you.

We’re thinking whatever happens to Oliver is fixed during next year’s crossover. Maybe Oliver dies in the Season 7 finale as a fulfillment of his promise. Whatever happens during “Crisis on Infinite Earths” could trigger a change in the flash forwards. Right now, they can kill Oliver and explore what Star City is like without the Green Arrow in the flash forwards. If Star City has gone to hell then obviously this proves the Green Arrow is needed in the world, because he is also a true and inspiring hero. Oliver ultimately survives “Crises on Infinite Earths” and is able to save his city in present day. Then we are given a totally different future.

How are they going to fix it? I have no idea. Superman was ushered off to his happy ending with a pregnant Lois. So, maybe he comes back and exchanges his life for Oliver’s. Not sure. I’m just spit balling here. There’s lots of X factors I can’t answer, but this gives the Arrow writers the chance to write both an unhappy and happy ending. We don’t have all the details worked out. Maybe Oliver dies during “Crisis on Infinite Earths” and is brought back another way. It’s totally possible Oliver promised something other than his life too. 

However, they want us to believe Oliver Queen is going to die so I wouldn’t expect to see him in the flash forwards any time soon. But it makes no sense to kill Oliver Queen at the end of Season 7 or the beginning or middle of Season 8, when we know Arrow still has a whole season to film and Stephen Amell is under contract. 

The big question is does Oliver tell Felicity what he promised? I want to say yes, but I’m not holding my breath. Oliver’s heroic actions tend to run counter to his happy life with Felicity. Do I imagine there’s a world in which Felicity will be okay with Oliver sacrificing himself for B*rry and K*ra? NO. It’s the same issue we had with the prison arc. I absolutely think Oliver should tell Felicity, but I just don’t have confidence he will at this point. Hopefully, I am wrong.

Stray Thoughts

Stephen Amell and Gr*nt G*stin have amazing chemistry. They are the perfect straight and funny man team. There are genuinely hilarious moments throughout the entire crossover, but most of the funny occurred during The Fl*sh hour. Stephen Amell truly cracked me up. I wish I could have enjoyed it more.

I'm still comfortable with my hot dog meets sperm description for Stephen in The Fl*sh suit.

Are B*rry's abs photoshopped too? I have questions.

"There's no way I could be married to Oliver Queen. I mean babe come on. He's not my type." This gag will never get old for me. I love it. 

Oliver going all alpha male around Superman is the realest thing about this crossover.  Source:olivergifs

“I think a night in jail would do them some good.” HAHAHA Bl*ck S*ren left Oliver in jail for the night. Classic.

Oliver’s pettiness over Batman will never not be funny. Source:  dailydcheroes

Kate Kane is awesome. Something about her suit bugs me though. Can’t figure out what. Source:  veronica-lodge

Joe Wilson is a scarier villain in the two minutes he had on screen than Diaz has been in a season and a half.

I like how Felicity refused to dumb her genius down for Diggle. He is so in the dog house with her. Source:  felicitysmoakgifs

Who is going to tell Sup*rgirl she is gay or bi? Because she is. There was a lot of flirting coming from Batwoman and K*ra D*nvers didn’t seem to mind at all. Don’t even get me started on her chemistry with Lena Luthor. So yeah. Somebody tell her. Facts are facts. I’m with you SuperCorp! Source:  amunetblack

If we’re talking Oliver’s worst fear I’d pick Adrian Chase over Malcolm Merlyn, but whatever. Nice to see you again John Barrowman.

I love how they showed how good Oliver is with computers. Nice moment of continuity from the Arrow pilot. Source:  oliverfelicitygifs

Arrow filmed a whole new opening with Gr*nt G*stin, but was Stephen Amell afforded the same on The Fl*sh? NOPE. It was weird.

I think Sup*rgirl got the shaft story wise. She spends all her time refereeing B*rry and Oliver. I think we could find better uses for her character.

Jimmy Olson has facial hair and nothing makes sense anymore.

Is Dante alive in this reality? If not, maybe don't bring him up B*rry.

Is Superman getting his own show too? This is a lot about Superman. (Superman proposes to Lois and they move to Argo to raise their love child.) Nope. Superman is not getting his own show.

I think if you can make your own diamonds you could go at least 4 carats Clark.

Disclaimer: Any gifs on the blog are not mine. If you would like a gif removed from my reviews, please message me. 7x09 gifs credited.

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[ruwithmeguys]

A wish for season 7, while I’m coherent (I’ll post stuff later):

I want to see Oliver and Felicity slowly unravelling each others layers again.

Think about it: he’s been through hell, right? But prison is different. For the very first time, Oliver has zero freedom of movement, even more so than when he was in Waller’s ‘employ’ or on Lain Yu. It doesn’t matter if all the inmates are found to be pathetic; it’s not a good place to be. There will be no conjugal visits. Nothing ‘good’ to be had here, ok? He’s 100% alone for the VERY first time because even in the past, there was always someone there. (This won’t be fixed in 7.01, I’m thinking more… 7.03/4 possibly, an arc for the prison and outside events and in time to visit Gotham where a chunk of the crossover is apparently taking place.)

Surrounded on all sides, think about that first night.

All the inmates shouting obscenities, all of them wanting a piece of the GA and Oliver… utterly defeated. Wretched. Strong. Black. Knowing that, as he stands there, Felicity is in their bedroom, alone, doing the exact same thing. He knows she’ll wait. He knows it’s no life but he NOW knows there’s also no life for her without him anyway.

He knows that he’s put a harsh task on her shoulders with William and he knows he’s missing EVERYTHING with them. Birthdays, events, simple moments, breakfasts, holidays –

He doesn’t realise it yet, but he won’t be there when she’s in trouble, when someone threatens her, when she gets hurt, when William is afraid.

It’ll hit him when he least expects it and it’ll be torture.

And very slowly, regret begins to seep in.

Maybe he’ll get brutalised (meta-human facility?): a lot of inmates would relish humiliating the GA (please do not do the unthinkable Beth (she won’t) – though I’m actually considering writing it in some way because I am flipping weird) but at the end of the day, what’ll stay with him is regret. In his eyes, he did the only thing available, but he’ll start to question the worth of it. Was it worth it?

And the hard layer he has to grow is unlike any other layer. Not like Russia or the island. This layer is like stone. Desolate.

Then there’s Felicity, who may eventually stop sleeping in a double bed because she’s so tired - so sick and hurting - of waking up and turning over, expecting to find Oliver next to her.

And it’s so much harder than she thought, being a child’s one source of security. But she does it, and she works and she helps the team try to progress after the events of 6.23 because they still need their Overwatch. She does it all, dodging Dig’s efforts to comfort her and Rene’s crappy jokes that fall flat, Curtis’s attempt at sympathy and Dinah’s… her silence. She visits Quentin’s grave and assures him it’ll all work out. She tries to work with BS, though she’s a reminder of everything.

It’s all salt.

Maybe it makes her harder.

Maybe she lashes out at the team for not being the ones in prison. Maybe she does the opposite.

Then something happens; someone gets hurt.

Then William has a problem he needs help with that makes the other situation more complicated. Maybe she fails with William somewhere on her learning curve.

Or she gets threatened. Hurt.

One thing, all the things, whatever.

And she has to lock herself up somewhere to royally sob her heart out because it hits her, after months, that he might never come home. She might never see him again.

Never have him touch her in reassurance, hold her when she’s buried in fears, be there when she’s weakest, or have him all to herself – something she never took for granted but got used to – on a quiet night. That she may never comfort him or sooth his nightmares away, never be the voice in his ear on the coms, never watch him be the hero she always saw on cameras as she opens doors and makes magic with her fingers for him and it’s a secret between them, the magic.

And suddenly saving the city doesn’t mean the same thing anymore, because it cost Oliver his life. Yes, it’s her mission too – just as it’s Dig’s, but what’s the point when Oliver (the hero who built the mission) is in prison because of it? And soon everything tastes a little skewed, a little less colourful, a little tasteless.

What is the point now?

Or maybe she just doesn’t face it.

Instead, she eventually gets used to sleeping alone, or in a chair, late nights at a desk, on the couch…

So does William.

And Oliver wonders if they’ve gotten used to his absence and quietly hates himself for feeling that. It’s the Queen’s Gambit all over again, except this time? It was deliberate and they all know he’s alive. It’s a forced life.

Then out of nowhere, he’s free again. Doesn’t matter if he breaks out, if he’s let out, freed, bargained- doesn’t matter.

Felicity’s there.

But there’s a wall between them.

It isn’t all that high and it doesn’t spell worst things to come. But it’s painful to touch and it’s honest and it’s so hard to look at.

So they do it slowly.

It starts after the hug, the kiss, the sex. The anger. The relief. The hurt. The need.

They have an argument. A whispered discussion. A heated moment. There’s tension – she’s hurt at how he made the decision and he knows she’s right but he’s hurt too. Half a year in jail is no picnic. He wants to talk about her sleeping habits, wants to discuss William and what he’s eating, how he’s living and it feels a little insulting even though it’s not; he’s just missed so much.

But they still stare at each other, hold each other in the night because he’s home. They’re still so grateful.

They have another argument – and maybe it’s another standalone episode, except there’s no avoidance or physical pain like 5.20. Just honesty.

And maybe it’s with a few tears and he’s not cried since the day he went to jail and neither has she because she’s had to be strong, alone, for William and THAT comes out and it’s like nails on skin.

And then it’s fine because they’re sorry and they’ve both said it all and they’re both naked and they’re eating whatever’s in the fridge as they sit on the cool kitchen floor of the house Felicity bought for them all, because she knew she’d get him out.

But she left the rooms undecorated for him to do. It’s like a welcome home gift.

And he tells her that it was too much to say. And when he returned, she wondered whether she could touch him and shout at him for fear he’d break.

And slowly, they peel back each other’s layers again; finding new things to be surprised about, new scars to own and it’s healing. Steadying.

Eventually, oddly, it makes them both brighter. Having come through the other side. Like, going through something bad, unscrewed their heads a bit and suddenly everything is a tad clearer. He jokes more and she suggests more and it’s full and heavy because, they know it could but this time… they take measures.

I want that; even a bit of that would make me happy.

Also, I’d expect another episode focused on them, if not more than one. Season 6 had a few.

[nightwitchwriter]

New Chapter

I’m sorry this took so long. The next two chapter were suppose to be in November. Writer’s block, procrastination and finals for school are my excuses.

Nick’s POV

It’s been a few weeks since Halloween. I haven’t seen Will since then. The last time I saw her was when those “vampires” dropped us off at her house. That’s when I woke up. Will’s parents, as well Maddy, were waiting, on the front porch, looking worried. Will’s eyes welled up with tears again, and ran towards her mother like a lost child. I nervously, walked towards them, with Will’s dad patting my shoulder in an attempt to comfort me. For some strange reason, the only thing on my mind was that I missed Heather’s party. Will’s parents confirmed that all three of my sisters were here, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I was lucky that my parents allowed us to stay over the night. I slept in the same bed as my sisters in the guest room, while Maddy stayed with Will. Mom picked us up the next morning, but I didn’t see Will as we left. Neither my sisters nor my parents knew what happened that night, and I figured that was for the best.

Monday came by unexpectedly quickly, considering I had only one day to realize what had happened over the weekend. I was so dazed, that I ended up late to school. Heather, of course, was upset that I didn’t come to her party, but a long kiss quickly shut her up. For the whole day, I felt so distant from my friends. Dylan had some suspicions, but luckily didn’t say anything. He’ll usually wait, until I tell him first. It's not like I can tell them what happened on Halloween night. Mainly for the reasons that Will made me promise not to and no one would believe me anyway. 

Will came back to school a few days later, but she avoided me, even when I made attempts to talk to her directly. When I did manage to stop and talk to her, it’ll get so awkward between us. It was until Friday, I made my decision to talk to Will. And that came in the form of Antonio Agostini. It was early in the morning on Friday the 13th, the unluckiest day of the year, when I started leaving for school. Now I didn’t believe in all the bad luck Friday the 13th supposedly gave, until I saw Antonio standing in front of my house.

“Hey there.” he greeted

The minute I saw him, I physically jumped back in fear, remembering what had happened on Halloween.

“Do you have a minute?”

I refused to move, too scared to say anything. How did he even know where I lived? Will doesn’t know, so he didn’t get it from her. Did he follow me? Does that mean the other vampires from that know where I live now too? Are they going to come after my family now?

“Relax. I just want to talk. I don’t have a lot of time anyway.”

That’s when I realized that he was out during the day.

“How are you here? Like during the day?” I questioned

“Well, we have this special sunscreen that lets us come during the day, but only for like 15 minutes.” he answered

And in that 15 minutes, he can kill me and my family. Just then, I hear my sisters coming towards the door. I tried to prevent them from coming out, but Felicity pushed the door open. I stumbled, but I grabbed Molly and Samantha, while Felicity was at arm's length of Antonio’s reach. She noticed that no one else was walking behind her.  

“Nick? What’s wrong?” she asked

“Felicity. Come over here. Now.” I ordered, trying to hide the fear in my voice.

Like a typical brat, she stuck her tongue out at me.

“Nah. No way. I am not going to be late because you’re going to get beaten up by another girl’s boyfriend.”

“He’s not!”

Ignoring me, she ran down the stairs towards the vampire. I hold my breath, fearing that he might grab her, but he just simply stepped out of the way as she ran by. 

“Nick! Hurry up!” she yelled

Molly and Samantha ran out of my hands, and ran past him as well, leaving only me left. Still unsure about what’s going to happen, I slowly walked up to him.

“What do you want?” I questioned

“Relax. If I wanted to attack you or kill you, I would have done so on Halloween, or when you least expect it. Plus, I only have like 15 min before this thing wears off. Will asked me to check you.” he stated

Will did?

“Yes, she did.”

“Holy crap! You can read my mind?!”

“Yes, vampires can do that. Moving on, she and her parents asked me to check on you to make sure you weren’t completely traumatized. Though I may be too late.”

“Then why didn’t Will or her parents come instead?” 

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe guilt? Fear? The fact that she experienced the same thing before, but worse?”

My eyes widen in realization. I did remember her about what she said about the Underworld and Limbo, but I assumed someone told her or she read it in a book. I didn’t realize that she went through the same thing I did, but worse.

“I’m… I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“Well, I assumed not. I’m just surprised you aren’t freaking out more. Most people not used to seeing creatures like me or other devi-humans, often end up borderline paranoid.”

“Well, maybe I’m one of the few with an open mind.” I laughed off, avoiding the fact that he wasn’t too far off.

Antonio looked surprised for a minute, then chuckled.

“Maybe you are. People like you are rare, even in these days.”

Antonio held out his hand, and after some hesitation, I slowly went over towards him and took his hand, shaking it as an unspoken agreement.

“It was nice meeting you, Nicholas. I’m glad my great, great, great-grandniece is friends with you.”

My eyes widened in shock when he said that. But before I could say anything, suddenly, his grip tightened a bit.

“But also being the male relative of her and with courtesy from a bygone era, let me tell you this: if you end up hurting her, either physically or emotionally, I will end you. You know the novel Cirque du Freak, right?”

After that, he let go and walked away, before a quick wave and then disappeared before my eyes. If it wasn’t for the fact that my hand still stung, or that Molly came back and asked me to help cross the street, I would have thought the whole thing as a scary illusion.

School just ended when I saw Maddy by her locker. Will wasn’t with her, and was using a walking stick.

“Maddy!” I called

She turned in my direction as I walked up to her. 

“Ah! Nick! Are you alright? Will’s mom told me what happened.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Where are your glasses?”

“They don’t work anymore. Will said the spell only lasts for the night.”

“Oh. Uh, I didn’t see you or Will when my sisters and I left. Is… she alright?”

“If by “she” you mean Will, then yes. She’s fine. But I’m still worried. I’ve never seen her like this before.”

“You too? I wondered what happened?”

“Well, Will’s mom said the same thing happened to her when she was younger, and it was really traumatic.”

“What happened?”

“You’ll have to ask her yourself.”

“What? N-no. I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“It doesn't look like she wants to talk to me. Besides, I don’t have her phone number or email.” Which is true. Despite all the time we spent together, and the Halloween incident, we still haven’t exchanged contact info.

“That’s true.” She thought for a minute, then spoke. “Why don’t you come by her house later on her birthday?”

“Birthday?”

“Yeah! It’s coming up soon, a few days away from Thanksgiving. So maybe you two can talk then?”

“Are you sure that’s alright? You know, for me to just come there?”

“It’s a birthday party. As long as you use wishing a happy birthday to someone as an excuse, its fine. Just bring a present, just in case.”

The way Maddy just explained her excuse to me made me feel bad for the people she probably used it on. She’s just as mischievous as Will. No wonder their friends.

As she turned to leave, I grabbed her hand.

“Wait!”

“What is it?”

“Um…” I nearly hesitated, before blurting out my question. “How do you cope?”

Maddy looked at me funny. 

“Excuse me?”

“I mean,... you just found your friend is an actual witch, as well as her family. We just found out that witches, demons, vampires and other spirits and monsters are actually real. We just spent Halloween night in another world! And she gave you temporary sight, which today would be impossible!”

“There is such a thing as laser eye surgery.”

“What I mean is… how are you not freaking out?”

Maddy didn’t say anything, but I guess she was thinking. Its hard to tell with her giving out her infamous blank stare.

“Hmm… I guess, its because I’m blind.”

“Huh?”

“I’ve been blind since I was born, so I don’t really have a concept of what things look like from another person’s perspective who can see. So I can’t see what makes something or someone scary. I have to see it through their actions and personality. So when I wore the glasses and saw what everyone looked like, I wasn’t scared, because I knew they weren’t scary. Just like Will told me.”

I looked at her while she smiled at me, impressed but…

“You know it doesn’t always work that way, right?”

“The point is, you can’t judge by appearance. You know the saying ‘appearances can be deceiving’, right?”

“We were attacked by actual vampires, did you forget that?”

“Hm, that is true. But turns out they were friends with the family. So you have nothing to worry about being attacked again.”

I groaned. I could tell she was trying to be helpful, but at the same time, it seems like she’s also ignoring my plight.

“Sooo…” Maddy leaned closer towards me in a playful tone. “Are you coming or not?”

I didn’t want this awkwardness to continue between us, so I nodded.

“Alright, I’ll come.”

“Yay! Be sure to get a present she’ll like!”

As she walked away, I thought about the situation I was walking myself into. I guess its best not to mention that I already met with one of her relatives that Will herself, probably does even know about. But still, if I go to that party, that means things might get awkward, and no one wants awkward at a party. 

Hmmmmm…..

What should I do?

[punchdrunkdoc]

5x20 aka:  Olicity heaven (with a bit of hell in the last 4 minutes)

It's official, season 5 of Arrow has started! It's a shame the season is so short (starting at 5x17 for some reason. Weird) but I'm enjoying it so far!

I'm only slightly kidding. There was very little about the previous 16 episodes of the show that remotely interested me, and I doubt I'll ever watch them in full; I saw all the 'best' parts in gif-form and short clips and that will do as far as I'm concerned. And you may think that disqualifies me from giving my opinion on the final 7 episodes of the season...but I'm going to anyway. Because what I have to say about 5x20 really only concerns one aspect of the show.

Olicity

This episode was amazing for us shippers. So many wonderful moments. And a few terrible ones as well, but I'll save them for last, lest I be accused of harshing people's buzz or being overly negative.

So first, the positives.

This is gonna be nothing groundbreaking. You've all seen the episode; you've posted and reblogged and tweeted the gifs, with all the appropriate accompanying squeeing. But let me break down my favs:

The flashback scenes were DELIGHTFUL! 

(gif by @just-me-and-the-tv) 

Tipsy Olicity was on my wish list for Arrow for ages (I ended up having to write my own scene to satisfy my desires) - its so clear that they're FRIENDS first and foremost. They enjoy spending time with each other, and basking in the other's actions and reactions. 

The whole salmon ladder sequence was a joy, from Oliver's earnest teaching technique to Felicity's babbles, then the slooooowwww slide she took down Oliver's body, to her initiating the kiss... 

(gif by @whoeveryoulovethemost)

And the kissing was uber-hot. I don't know if it's because we were deprived of new material and the old kissing gifs had become a bit too familiar, but man those kisses were on another level! You really felt  how much they'd missed each other's lips. How much sinking into those kisses was like coming home; so familiar, but with a new edge of longing and tempered joy.  

Perfectly captured in this moment, which was my favourite bit of the whole flashback:

(gifs by @ironstarkasm)

And when Oliver grabbed her and spun her around...I swear I gasped out loud thinking we were gonna see a whole 'nother dominant side to Oliver.  But we ended up with Felicity on top again, which felt really fitting. The girl really likes the view from up there!

I loved the present day interactions as well; so much harsher and layered with new pain and frustration, but still with that unshakeable core of love and respect. The EW recap said it best:

THIS is the Arrow I love to watch. Characters working together, supporting each other, facing conflict drawn from their differing view of the world - not from contrived plot points and 'shock value' moments. And, most importantly, confiding in each other:

(gif by @felicitys)

This moment was heartbreaking, not least because to Oliver it was almost a deathbed confession. He NEEDED her to understand where he was coming from. It was imperative that she knew that his apparent lack of trust was not because of her. It was because of him.

The concept and execution of this confession was beautiful; the content...that will be in the negative section.

For now, more positives. I loved the tension and physicality of the bunker sequence. The stunts were incredible - and it was obvious why SA was hitting the gym hard in the lead up to filming. The dude was hauling EBR all over the shop. My absolute favourite moment was after Felicity injects Oliver with adrenaline. SA's comic timing and delivery (something we don't get nearly enough of) was on point! Why aren’t there a million gifs of this! I can watch this on a loop!

And after is slightly crazy-eyed ‘Good’, he just matter-of-factly Oliver pulled Felicity on to his back. He would carry her to the ends of the earth if need be.

And she would sacrifice herself so he wouldn't need to:

(gif by @felicitys)

Goddam, this is how you OTP!

Which is why...I'm kinda bummed the episode was brought down from potential 'best episode ever' status by some questionable writing choices that have more to do with other episodes rather than 5x20.

First up, the issue of break ups and apologies. Oliver has still not uttered the words 'I'm sorry for lying and sneaking behind your back' to Felicity. I know some people in this fandom feel his actions and his vows in the fake wedding were an apology of sorts, but its not enough for me. And I doubt we'll ever hear him apologise properly at this point.

Because the party line of the show has always been that the lies themselves were merely symptomatic of bigger issues: trust and judgement.

Trust

Felicity feels that Oliver doesn't trust her. Oliver explained that the problem was never with her, it was with him. This is the content of that scene I eluded to above, when Oliver confesses his secret. It just feels like a convoluted leap in logic to me. Oliver's convinced he enjoys killing..ergo Felicity feels he doesn't trust her.

Oliver likes killing = Oliver is bad = Oliver is not deserving of love and trust. 

THIS logic I can understand (I don't agree with it, because Oliver is good and deserves all the happiness in the world), but I can see the thought progression. I don't understand how that equates to not being able to trust others.

Oliver likes killing = Oliver is bad = the team should not sacrifice their souls in his name = he doesn’t want Felicity going bad

Fine, this works for explaining his objections to Helix. But the scene after this confession immediately switched to the flashback where Felicity said:

(gif by @felicitys)

In the context of William, that explanation makes little sense.

Oliver likes killing = Oliver is bad = Oliver cannot trust himself = how can he trust others if he can't trust himself.  

Maybe this is what they're getting at?  Still feels a little flimsy. But that's Arrow-logic for you.

Judgement

When I first watched the scene in the hospital I was severely pissed that Felicity apologised (AGAIN) for the break up. In the flashback she apologised for walking instead of talking things out. This I can (grudgingly) understand.

But then she apologised for judging Oliver too harshly and holding him to a high standard she herself fell short of in S5. An understanding she gained by joining Helix.

Because joining Helix = morally questionable = difficult decision made for the right reasons, even if people get hurt =  the same as lying to your fiancee about your secret son.

Okay, Arrow. Fine. 

I'll accept your premise: Oliver didn’t tell Felicity about William because he enjoys killing and therefore doesn’t trust anyone...and Felicity broke up with him because she hadn’t yet joined Helix and therefore didn’t understand the difficult position lying points you in. 

I give in. 

It's done, you've addressed it (and retconned it to fit in nicely with your S5 arcs) and we should just move on. I’m willing to ignore all of that INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATING AND INFURIATING MESS OF A STORYLINE and just look forward to the reconciliation.

And I will...after one last point, which is more to do with the S5 writing disaster.

It was explicitly stated in 5x20 that Felicity's motivations for joining Helix and going hard for Prometheus...was because of Billy. This just felt like Wendy finally getting the chance to put her head canon on screen after giving interview after interview explaining Billy as the motivation for Felicity’s ‘dark arc’. It doesn’t matter that, until now, Billy was barely mentioned, and it was much more obvious to the viewer that Felicity was gunning for Prometheus because of OLIVER.

I would have LOVED to have seen a moment like this:

Oliver: I know you joined Helix because you wanted justice for Billy-

Felicity: No. I mean, yes. Maybe that was the start of it. But, Oliver...what Prometheus did to YOU - the kidnapping, the torture, the mind games...I was doing all this just as much for you. You've suffered enough over the past 10 years. You've sacrificed for everyone you love, I couldn't bear to see you in any more pain. And if I could stop Prometheus - by whatever means - I was going to do it. For you.

But no. It was all for Billy. The guy we didn't even see her meet, or know when that was, or how their relationship started, or what she liked about him (apart from being bland and nice)...Despite the flimsiness of that character, HE was her driving force.

The Billy-of-it-all, also leads on to my next gripe.

I STILL DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE POINT OF YOU, TINY-HANDS MAN!

Going into this episode, I posted some thoughts on the supposed intentions of the flashbacks, i.e. to explain the Olicity interactions in 5A. As I mentioned in that post, the success of 5x20 would depend on its ability to make sense of 5A....and I think it did the opposite. Don't get me wrong, I think the flashbacks worked, in terms of paralleling the present time (Felicity wasn't ready to talk, now she is; Felicity didn't understand why Oliver couldn't trust, now she does).

But they do NOT explain 5A. Because I still do not understand why Felicity was suddenly in an established relationship with another man. The flashbacks ended with Felicity basically saying she needed time before talking about the breakup, and Oliver said he would be waiting for her when she was ready. The only reason to bother talking about the reasons for the breakup would be to reunite! So this scene, to me, was Felicity very much leaving the door open to reconciliation.

Begin Rant:

Which makes her relationship with Billy (a handful of months later) so inexplicable! When/why/how did she decide she was just going to push aside her relationship with Oliver and try with someone else? And she KNEW he was waiting for her, so her incredulous ‘No!’ when he asked if she was keeping the door open for them in 5x05 was insensitive at best, when viewed in the context of 5x20.

Similarly, how does Oliver's 'I’m totally fine you’re seeing someone else’ make any sense given how they left things after Bunker!Sex:

He should have been PISSED! Because she never gave him the courtesy of telling him she was moving on. And waiting until she knew if it was 'real' is bullshit. The fact she started dating in the first place, even if only casually, was a MAJOR step that he deserved to know about.

I didn't understand 5x05 the first time, but figured Felicity wasn't obligated to tell Oliver anything because she firmly closed the door on him in 4x16. They were O.V.E.R.

But she opened that door during that flashback. And she knew Oliver was waiting on the doorstep.  

So why did she sneak out the back door and start fooling around with a cop? IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE! 

Plus this all gives credence to my assumption that 5x20 was never in the original plan. Otherwise, 5x05 would have been written differently, to incorporate the 5x20 FB dynamic better.

End rant.

So those are my thoughts. 

Well done if you reached the end - I did ramble on a bit, but I needed to vent. 

And it’s turned out to be therapeutic. I’ve since rewatched the ep after writing out all these grievances (and with my ‘giving in to the narrative’ frame of mindI) and it actually made the episode even more enjoyable! Arrow is never going to fix the mess they made, so I’m going with the out of sight, out of mind approach by just concentrating on the goodness to come.

Bring on the rest of the season!

[therewas-a-girl]

promeytheus replied to your post: would you believe that there are literally zero...

AhahhHhahahahabah. 

Can u believe every time I want to see a diggle meta it turns into an ota/olicity thing

Yes. yes i can believe that. easily. 

can you believe that i want to punch someone every time i hear him called Yoda. serious question here, but am i really the only one bothered by this. idk, its not teh name per se but just the feel of it. i cannot put it into words, but it bothers me cause it feels reductive. john is not the holder of some great truth and universal wisdom. he is a wise man, its tru, and very good at balancing his issues out, but i feel like every time someone calls him ‘yoda’ it nullifies those issues and therefore, his depth? 

idk its a weird feeling

Is it me, or is it not okay to want a meta that everything to do with diggle and not somehow be tied back to ota or felicity or oliver

it is not you. 

it most definitely is not fucking okay. it’s tiresome. its bothersome. if you wanna blather my ear off about ota and how important it is - and not mean it as an exclusionary term the way so many mean it -  then lets give all the characters involved their own importance and standing. diggle doesn't only matter when he’s propping up the other two white faves. like, please, he is his own person with his own life and i wanna talk about him a while and how he came to be this person, and where this wisdom in him comes from, and the sadness in him comes from and how come that he is so well balanced and how hard he tries, to look that way. if he fails, and breaks sometimes and how he puts himself back together. 

or if he’s not the type to do that at all!

maybe john is with himself the way he is with everything else. maybe he is the kind that feels conflicted and is in great pain and lost when he doesnt know what to do, how to solve a problem. but once he makes up his mind, that’s it. he will be unshakable from then on, and he will force everything to make sense because he has already decided and THAT is where this sense of certainty and security that he gives off comes from

but tho i have these thoughts i would love to compare them to other people’s. i would love ot hear more talk of john, of the workings of his mind, expand my own understanding of him. i cant do that if everything circles back to the two assholes in love he shares a tea with. 

or if you wanna play it like that, then make it an OT3 and we’ll all be happy. 

but no, that’s not okay is it?

Like ke where are my metas about his relationship with lyla and what it must be like to have a son but know he had a daughter.

Yes where? how did john and lyla fall in love? who fell first? why does john love her? why does she love him? as in, what are the traits that one is most drawn to in the other? what are the things that they appreciate the most? are attracted to the most? you have one of the greatest, best love stories of Arrow here - these people fell in love when they were at war. 

how did that fail them? how does it feel, when love fails you? how does it leave you? how does it change you? how did it change john and Lyla? what did they do differently the second time around? do they think about the mistakes they made, do they knowledge  them. how do they deal with the things that never change: their pov-s about the world, about right and wrong, means and the ends. how do they deal with their differing ideas on necessity and morality? at the end of the day they must agree with each other on at least a part of their worldviews. 

who is this man anyway? how does he like his coffee? what smells can’t he stand? is he the kind that does spring cleaning? who, between him and lyla, goes grocery shopping more often? how does he like to be kissed, touched? how do john and lyla prefer to fuck? these are all valid questions! who is the one between them with a real taste for pretty things (i think it’s john); who likes to go shopping for tickets? both, neither? who goes to war and comes back with souvenirs? what cant they stand about the other? the little bits of irritating habits? do they ever laugh about those? what does a fight between them look like?

how did it feel when John left for the army again? what did they talk about? what did lyla feel? what did john feel? how would it hurt them to see their marriage flounder so dangerously for the second time. they are both matter-of-fact people but they are both people who love with their whole hearts. how many times can the two same people break each other’s hearts? and yet they keep loving each other. i mean - come on! 

can john imagine having a daughter? he’s the realist, the practical person. to him a never-there daughter is imaginary. but he was still very upset when he learned what barry had done. does he think about her? does he talk to lyla about her? does this sara they have never met come up when tehy talk about having another child? does it scare them? 

Or about how he went from seeing Andy and literally was having hallucinations and then his story was just wrapped up.  Since his s/l was my favorite last season it disappointed me so much how his s/l this season played out. So much potential wasted.

OH ANDY. people talk about oliver’s sacrifices a lot but imagine for a moment of oliver had to kill thea with his own hands. because making a parallel with the white male fav is the best way to get ppl to stop and think, so yeah i went there. 

imagine sara having to kill laurel, felicity having to kill her mother. 

john was so shaken, so traumatized that he doubted his whole world. he didnt know what was right and wrong anymore and for a man who relies so much on those set definitions that is like having him continuously tumbling down a rabbit hole. 

he sought some steady ground in a structure that he knew, that he had relied on before: the military. he wanted the simplicity of being a soldier again. of not having to decide right and wrong, of just following orders. he wanted to detach himself from people he had failed, from the normal life he couldnt adjust to, from the every day responsibilities because how could be fulfill them when he couldn’t judge anything right. which is very important for someone like him. he needs a structure, clear lines that he needs to keep himself within. he believes those clear lines will keep him from making huge mistakes in judgment - he told this to oliver in s1 when oliver started fucking around with Helena and making excuses for her murderous streak. 

this is literally like when oliver went back to lian yu after season 1 man. 

the military failed him. he coudlnt rely on anyone thinking for him, making decisions for him. maybe it was also a kind of punishment though - going away. 

no, it was. he hated himself so much over what he’d done that Deadshot - a man he’d hated for years - came to keep him company. which means that john hated his own self about as much as he’d hated Deadshot. which means that he really wanted to give up. john diggle wanted to give up on himself, to find some kind of atonement. or maybe he was just so tired and didnt believe he was worth it. 

oliver got him out - john went back to his family. how did he and lyla reconnect? what did they talk about? how did he explain himself to lyla? did he? what exactly changed - how - in him, that he went from the man happy to rot in  a cell to the man that wanted to fight for himself. was being with his family what changed him? was the team? oliver? lyla? was feeling how loved and dear he was to everyone whose life he’d touched what brought him back to some semblance of the man he was?

these are all things worth discussing. 

[some1foundme]

Fic: Lost in the Memory

Title: Lost in the Memory

Author: Some1FoundMe

Summary: Oliver Queen returns to his home in Star City after a five year tour overseas, much to the delight of his friends and family. There’s just one small problem. The injury that effectively ended his military career also erased a part of his memory.  As he struggles to put together the missing pieces of his past, his connection to his best friend’s little sister becomes something he can’t avoid. Who is Felicity Merlyn and why can’t he seem to stay away from her?  Olicity AU, no Arrow, no island.

A/N: Another huge thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed.  I love hearing from all of you.  And to my beta, westernbeauty, again, thank you so much for all of your support!

Read on AO3 or ff.net. 

Chapter Eight

“Uncle Oliver!”

Felicity’s steps faltered as she watched Thea run up the walk and launch herself into Oliver’s arms. He caught her with ease, swinging her around and making her squeal.  When he set her on her feet again, he ruffled her hair playfully.

“Hey, kid, how was school?”

Thea shrugged, “It was okay. Do you wanna play Mario with me?”

Oliver shot her a quick look before crouching down to Thea’s level.  

“You should probably check with Aunt Felicity first.  I’m gonna guess you’ve got homework to do, right?”

Felicity had no doubt that the mention of homework had her niece rolling her eyes.  Thea had never been a big fan of school and doing schoolwork at home was one of her least favorite things.

“Uncle Oliver is right. You know the rule.  Homework first and then you can play your game.  Maybe he’ll stick around for dinner and you two can play for a while, okay?”

Thea bounced on her heels and grinned at Oliver.

“Will you?  Please Uncle Oliver?  Please?”

He nodded and stood, tugging a long curl.

“Sure, Thea.  But I need to talk to your aunt for a minute. Why don’t you go get started on your homework, okay?”

Appeased that he wasn’t going anywhere, Thea raced back to her for the key before letting herself into the house.  Felicity could only hope that her coat and shoes wouldn’t be in a pile just inside the door when they went inside.

“Do you want to go in? It’s pretty damn cold out here.”

He shook his head, “We should probably stay out here if that’s okay with you.  I just didn’t think you’d want Thea to…”

“It’s fine.  What’s up?”

Felicity moved up onto the porch and followed him as he went to the porch swing.  He sat and she hesitated for just a moment before sitting down next to him.  She was freezing, huddled down into her coat as much as possible, and she felt him shift nervously next to her.  

She braced herself for whatever it was that he had to say.  It was difficult to ignore the warmth that radiated from his body.  She longed to press herself into his side. They had spent more than one cool, autumn night wrapped around one another on the swing, keeping each other warm. It had been the place where he’d kissed her for the first time and the last place where he’d told her he loved her. She knew that he wasn’t aware of the swing’s significance.  There was no way that he could know how much of an affect sitting there with him was having on her heart.

“Is everything alright?” she asked when he’d been quiet for too long.

“Everything’s fine. At least, it’s as good as it’s going to get until my memory comes back.”

She swallowed hard, nodding.

“Okay.  Then… then what did you want to talk to me about?”

Oliver took a deep breath, his feet on the floor rocking the swing gently.

“I went to Coast City this week.  To see a specialist.”

“I know, Nyssa told Sara and Sara told me.”

He pulled the collar of his jacket up to protect his face from the icy wind and ducked his head.  

“He told me that the best thing for someone in my condition is to try to go about my life as normally as possible.  To just keep living the way that I had before the accident.  He thinks it’d be best if I try to pick up where I left off.  Even if I can’t exactly remember where that was before leaving for Iraq, he still suggested that I get back into my normal routine.”

Felicity stared at him and waited for him to continue.  When he lifted his head to search her face, her breath caught.

“I think – I think that I should be here.  With you and Thea.”

Felicity nodded slowly, “Oh… okay.  Um, what – what do your parents think about that?  I mean, your mom didn’t even want me to tell you about us.”

“It isn’t her decision to make,” he told her, shrugging, “The only opinion that matters to me right now is yours.  I know that it’s asking a lot, given everything, but I’d really like to be able to remember who I was before all of this and if being here with the two of your helps with that, then I want to be here.  I’d – I’d really like to come home.”

She took a stuttering breath and averted her eyes, looking out onto the snow covered yard.

It would be far too easy to say yes.  To give in without considering any of the consequences.  He belonged there with them, there was no question, but at the same time, she had to think about how Thea would feel.  She had to think about her own fragile emotions.  Having him there with them, in their home, would mean the world to her.  But it wouldn’t change anything until he did remember her.  He would simply be in closer proximity and Felicity feared that having him nearby would hurt more than it would help.

“I – I’m not sure how we’ll explain it to Thea,” she told him carefully, “And I’ve got to consider how she’ll feel having you’re here when she knows what’s going on. Everything’s – everything’s different now, you and I are different.  She’ll be able to pick up on that.”

“I understand.”

“And your parents… I don’t want them to hate me.  Things have been good for the last few years, we’ve had a good relationship and I don’t want you moving back in here to ruin that.  I don’t want to piss off your mother if I don’t have to.”

He chuckled, shaking his head.

“Please don’t worry about my mother.  She and I had a very strongly worded conversation about this.  She understands that it’s my life, my decision.  She knows that I’m here now, that I wanted to discuss it with you.  And she understands that the choice is yours, not hers.”

Felicity scrubbed at her face with her gloved hand and sighed.  She turned back to Oliver and found him watching her.

“Before I agree to this, I need you to tell me something.  Are you doing this because you feel obligated to be here?  In this house?  With me?  Because unless you actually want to be here, then – then I don’t think it’s the best idea. I don’t want you to think that you owe me anything.  If it turns out that you can’t ever remember me or what we had then –“

Her voice cracked and a lump formed in her throat.  She swallowed hard.  Oliver grabbed her hand, squeezing it tightly and pulling her closer.

“I’m sorry that I – God, I’m just sorry.  But you have to understand, I want to be here because I want to remember you.  I want to remember us.  I – I feel something when I’m here with you, something that I only feel with you.  Please, I really think that going back to the way things were could really help jog my memory.”

Tucked under Oliver’s arm, the heat of his body seeping into her, Felicity felt the ache that had settled in her bones begin to ease.  There wasn’t a question of how desperately she wanted him there with her, in their house and in their bed, but she knew that it wouldn’t be that simple.  There was one very large obstacle that they would have to overcome and Felicity hoped that she was about to make the right decision for all of them.

“O – Okay.  You can stay here.  I still think we should talk to Thea and just make sure she’s alright with it, but if it’ll help you heal, then you can move back in.”

They remained on the swing until the bitter cold chased them inside.  Felicity shed her coat and boots just inside the door, not at all surprised to find Thea’s on the floor as she’d suspected, and called up the stairs to her niece.

“Thea?  Are you doing your homework?”

“Yes, Aunt Felicity!”

She shook her head, hanging the coats on the rack near the door and heading for the kitchen.  Oliver followed after her, having left his coat on the hook beside hers.

“What’s it like?  The day to day with her?  Do you two have a routine?” he asked.

Felicity shrugged, “It’s pretty much the same day after day.  We’ve just gotten so used to it, you know?  It’s been us for five years, me and her, so yeah, there’s a routine. I pick her up from school at four and when we get home, she goes straight to homework mode.  While she’s doing that, I get dinner started. Usually she’ll finish her homework while I’m working on dinner and she likes to come and help when she can.  We always have dinner at the kitchen table. Unless it’s a special occasion, like movie night or something, and then we’ll camp out on the couch.  Um… I’m not always home for dinner.  I work the dinner shift at Verdant on the weekends, Friday and Saturday both most of the time, but I try to be home with her every other night.”

“Did you work today?” Oliver asked.

“Not today.  It’s my one day off this week.  But it’s nice because I’m the boss and I make the schedule. Plus, everyone on my staff is pretty accommodating.  I’m the only one with a kid so they’re all pretty willing to help out.”

“And where does she go on the weekends?”

Felicity pulled the ingredients for a chicken and stuffing casserole from the refrigerator and cabinets, moving about the kitchen on autopilot as Oliver took a seat at the island. She set up a cutting board and grabbed a knife from the block.  Tackling the onion first, she shrugged and answered his question.

“Sometimes to your parents, sometimes to the Lances.  It just depends.  She spends a lot of time with Nyssa and Sara, they’re her aunts, too.  But yeah, the weekends are kind of a struggle.”

She shot him a tentative smile and he returned it before she went back to dicing.

“Do you – do you ever think that maybe Tommy made a mistake leaving her with us?  That maybe she would’ve been better off with Laurel’s parents?”

The knife in her hand glanced off of the onion and the sudden burn in her fingertip confirmed what she’d already suspected.  She dropped the knife, letting it clatter against the countertop, and grabbed a paper towel off of the roll.

“Shit, Felicity, I’m sorry,” he mumbled, jumping up from his seat and rounding the counter to take her hand. He lifted her injured finger and examined the cut, “I – I didn’t mean it like that.  I just… I guess I just wondered if you ever thought about what your life would be like if you hadn’t become her mother at twenty-three.”

Oliver turned on the tap and guided her hand into the stream of water.

She sighed, “It’s fine, Oliver, really.  People have children much younger than twenty-three.  And … and we had this argument once.  Right after Tommy died.  It was via satellite phone but it was still an argument.”

Felicity stuck her finger in her mouth for just a second before drying her hands.  Oliver was looking at her curiously and she knew that he was waiting for her to explain.  She shrugged.

“When Tommy and Laurel had the paperwork drawn up that granted me guardianship if anything were to happen to them, it was before we were married.  It only listed me.  So after Tommy died, we had a very long and heated discussion about adopting her. About you adopting her.  I did question it.  We both did.  But in the end, we agreed.  She was happy here with me and neither of us wanted to disrupt that.”

Thea chose that moment to skip into the kitchen, slapping her homework folder down on the table.

“Done!”

“I’ll look it over in just a minute,” Felicity told her, “Let me get dinner in the oven first.”

“I’ll do it,” Oliver offered, glancing at her for permission, “If you don’t mind.”

Felicity smiled at his hopeful expression.  It was a simple request but it was a step in the right direction.  He was trying to slip back into normal life, to find his place in their lives specifically, and checking Thea’s homework was an easy way for him to find his footing.

“Yeah, of course, have at it.”

She watched as he sat beside Thea at the table and opened her folder.  They started with a math worksheet and as she listened to Oliver calmly explain where she’d made a few mistakes, Felicity went back to making dinner.

By the time she’d gotten the casserole in the oven, they’d moved on to spelling.

“Oh you know this one,” Oliver teased, “Spell military.”

Thea grinned brightly, “M-i-l-i-t-a-r-y.  Military.”

“Perfect.  How about independence.”

She paused and squeezed her eyes shut as if she were trying to picture the word in her head.  When she looked at Oliver again, she tried slowly.

“I-n-d-a-p-d-e-n-d-e-n-c-e?”

“Really close,” Oliver told her, “Try again.  Sound it out, okay?  In-de-pendence.”

She took a moment to think about it before giving it another try.

“I-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-c-e?”

“Exactly!”

Oliver grinned and gave her a high five, making her giggle.

Felicity washed her hands and loaded the dishwasher as they worked their way through the rest of the list.  By the time she joined them at the table, Thea’s homework had been put away and they were playing a game of tic-tac-toe on a scrap sheet of paper.  She watched them play two games – Oliver letting Thea win them both – interrupting before her niece could start a third.

“Sweetie, there’s something that Uncle Oliver and I want to talk to you about.”

Thea looked back and forth between the two of them, eyeing them critically.

“Does Uncle Oliver remember you now?” she asked eventually.

“No, hon-“

“I’m afraid not, sweetheart.  I wish that I did, but no.”

Warmth rushed to her cheeks as she cast a sidelong glance at Oliver.  He continued on as if he hadn’t noticed her staring.

“But we were wondering how you’d feel if I moved back in here.  With you and Aunt Felicity.  Would that be okay with you?”

Thea shrugged, “Married people are supposed to live together … you and Aunt Felicity are still married, right?”

Oliver looked over at her and they both nodded.

“Of course we are,” he assured her.

She shrugged again, “Okay.”

Oliver seemed surprised by Thea’s easy acceptance of the situation but the truth was, Felicity hadn’t expected her to put up much of a fight.  She had been fairly confident that her niece would be happy with the development.  She had already asked once why Oliver hadn’t come home to live with them and Felicity understood that not having him there with them was probably more confusing for her than having him at home.

“Are you gonna spend the night?” Thea asked, “Will you take me to school tomorrow?”

Felicity shook her head and they spoke at the same time.

“I’ll take you, Thea, it’s –“

“If that’s okay with –“

She and Oliver turned to one another and a sudden stretch of silence was drawn between them.

Felicity’s heart made its way into her throat.  She hadn’t anticipated that he would be there so soon.  They hadn’t really discussed the details of when he would move back in but she had assumed that he’d go back to his parents’ house for a night or two.  The prospect of having him under the same roof again, of having him sleeping in their home, stirred up the butterflies in her stomach.

“Do you… do you want to stay tonight?” she asked.

Oliver nodded, “If it’s alright with you…”

She swallowed hard, “Yeah.  That – that sounds good.”

“Good.”

Thea squirmed restlessly in her seat, the movement drawing their attention away from one another and back to her.  Felicity smiled. 

“Can Uncle Oliver and I play Mario now?” Thea asked.

When Felicity looked at Oliver again, she found that his eager smirk matched Thea’s.  She knew that she would forever be in trouble if the two of them continued to gang up on her.

She rolled her eyes.

“Fine but you’ve got less than an hour before dinner.”

[lageniuswannabe]

Back to Basics

New Story https://archiveofourown.org/works/14444499 

Summary:

This Fic will take place through the last two episodes sorry I have been late posting but I have had some health issues making life difficult hope you like it

......

HE’s down how the hell did this happen what the hell is going on? Where was he last? Felicity picked up her phone and called Lance. Hoping beyond hope he would pick up.

“Quentin, Oh thank God I need help something has happened and Oliver is passed out in the middle of the bunker floor. Do you know what happened?” Felicity waited and listened to his breathing.

“He was dosed with Vertigo and has been hallucinating said you wanted a separation. Do you need me to come to the Bunker?” Quentin asked Felicity

“Yes.” A prayer on her lips.

She took her coat off and rolled it up and placed it under his head. She texted Raisa making sure she would be at the apartment when William got home.

The doors to the elevator opened and Lance stepped off. “You Okay?”

“One minute he was talking the next he was on the floor. He wasn’t making any sense.” Felicity was a wreck.

All of a sudden Oliver jumps up he looks right through them and tells someone to ‘Shut the hell up’ and walks to the back of the bunker.

“Who dosed him? How?” Felicity turns to Quentin.

“Councilman working for Diaz. He said you told him to get out after he yelled at William. Then he said you came here saying that you should take some space.” Quentin looked at her.

“I never would. OMG what was that?” The doors at the back banged shut. He’s on the move but his suit is still here.” Felicity went to the back. “How long ago did he get dosed?”

“Just before he went home, something about a science fair.” Quentin told her.

Damn it where did he go Felicity looks around to see what has moved or what was missing. She rushes over to an empty container. “Dear God. He has his old suit.” Felicity ran back to her computers. His phone says he is moving fast toward SCPD. “Quentin I got to go. Can you call Raisa and make sure she is okay with William?”

“Where are you going?” He asked.

“To save my husband.”

………….

Arrow….

……..

Later at home after his talk with William

…….

“Oliver, I don’t understand this decision to go back to doing it alone. You told me and I quote, ‘I was never alone I always had you even when we weren’t together lterally in my ear ever second I was in the field’ end quote. It was one of the most wonderful things I ever heard you say. Why now?” Felicity looked at him and waited.

“I just feel like I need to do this on my own to prove not only to myself I still can but because when I am out there on my own I can concentrate on what I need to do and listen to my own gut instincts, which as you said kept me alive for all these years. I know it’s going to be scary but I need you to trust me on this.” Oliver reached out a hand to her, Felicity took it and hugged him tight.

“I just don’t know how well I am going to be at that. It became my crusade to Oliver. But I will step back however when you need your beautiful eccentric and talented hacker wife for something I reserve the right to say I told you so.” Felicity poked him in the chest.

“Okay, let’s go to bed tomorrow is going to be a long day.” Oliver pulled her to him.

“Okay but this discussion is tabled not ended.”

…….

Felicity although annoyed with Curtis does still have to work with him to get his chip marketable for the bio-engineering department of SQ Inc.

“How are you doing?” Curtis asked.

“I’m fine Curtis the Cyber security area is set up and we have 10 contracts with companies here and in Central and Hub Cities. I have also been discussing your project with Wayne Enterprises and he is very interested in helping us make it marketable so that not just the wealthy have access to it. Bruce is quite the character.” Felicity told him in a very even direct tone.

Curtis shuffled his shoes, “I realise I have been at fault for a lot of what has happened between me, you and Oliver and I am sorry. I guess I haven’t dealt with all my issues since Paul left and the whole exploding Island. I understand where you all were coming from I guess it hurt more because I have been with you guys well for two years and it hurt to think that you would think after all that time I could or would even think of betraying you especially since I volunteered myself for the team. I behaved badly, I’m sorry.”

“Oh Frack Curtis you are going to make me cry emotional pregnant woman here. I wish you had of said it that way from the beginning we might not be in this predicament. Frack Curtis.” Felicity reached for her friend and hugged him. “Let’s get some work done.”

“Shouldn’t you be in the bunker right now?” Curtis asked.

“Well, Oliver has been having a hard time reconciling a lot especially after the fight wth John and now he has decided to go back to basics. So I am going to concentrate on SQ Inc. and he is going on his own for a while.” Felicity passed around nervously jumping from one computer station to the next setting up tests for the chip.

They worked for a while like that with Felicity acting more nervous than Curtis had ever seen her. “Are you alright.”

“Yeah…. No…. I am fine… No worries here.” She choked on her words as she lied. “Okay yes I am going slightly crazy and worried like crazy but I promised Oliver I would let him do this for himself so I have to you know learn to work around it. So let’s get to work.”

They began working and had a conference call with the R&D department at Wayne enterprises when their tests were successful. Just then Curtis got an alert on his phone. “Turn on the TV it’s a news alert about Oliver and an exploding building.”

Channel 52 came up and showed an explosion and her husband was in the middle of it. “I got to go Curtis. Lock up please.”

…..

“Oh God, Oliver.” She whispered loudly hoping not to wake William up. She put the news on and pulled her tablet to her trying to track his Green Arrow boot signal. Nothing was coming up.

“Please. Come on,” Where are you? Just then behind her coming from their room.

“Hey you.”

“Oh my God,” Felicity gasped, throwing herself into his arms struggling to feel every inch of him.

“You okay?” he questioned.

Felicity took a deep breath. “I saw the explosion on the news,” Felicity voice was full of emotion. “And you were right in the middle of it.”

“Yeah,” Oliver replied, he pulled back to look at her. “I fired a grappling hook and flew, backwards, right out of there. I’m fine.”

There was this hint not caring lacing Oliver’s voice as he explained what had happened. This made Felicity look at him incredulously.

“Well, I’m not.” Frustration showing in her voice. “Worrying about you out here is,” her voice cracked. “Well, it’s completely different than worrying about you in the bunker.”

“Right, because in the bunker you feel like you can make a difference,” Oliver supplied, trying to sound as if he understood what she was trying to say.

“I can make a difference. I can,” Felicity insisted. Oliver opened his mouth, but she continued. “I can make a difference. I can deploy back up. I can… I don’t know. I can do something, but out here… I’m helpless out here.” Felicity trailed off, the emotions coursing through her body she tried to keep the tears at bay.

“You’re not helpless anywhere. Ever,” Oliver stated, his voice was sure and steady.

“What?” Came out more like a sob.

“And I’m not helpless either. Alright?” Oliver didn’t wait for a response. He turned and pointed behind him towards William’s room, who was sleeping. “I made a promise, to that guy in there: I would always come back.”

“Well, William made a good point, you coming back, it’s not always gonna be your decision,” Felicity bit out. Fear fading, being replaced by anger and frustration towards Oliver and the way he was brushing off her concerns.

“William does make good points. But I made the promise anyway,” Oliver continued. “I’m making the same promise to you. Right here and now. Felicity, I will always come back.”

Felicity reached out and kissed him if only to tell her he was actually standing there. She pulled him close in a hug and held him for a few minutes. Pulling out of the hug she looked up at him, he was smiling down at her smiling like he thought he won this argument. “Oliver I am not done discussing this. But I think we should go where there is no chance William will hear the rest he is already worried enough.” She grabbed his hand pulled him into their room closing the door behind him. “I believe in you and I believe that you will do your best to always come home to us yes. But now us is not just you and me and William even, it’s Silvia too.” She stood the rubbing her now getting very big belly at six almost seven months. “With the court case coming up and the FBI on this terror to put you behind bars and Diaz taking over everything. You have to understand that worrying about you outside the bunker is too much for even me. I ran here so fast in heels and pregnant and you couldn’t be concerned that I saw the news to even call me and say you were okay. ‘it may take DNA analysis to determine the fate of the Green Arrow’ That is what she said.”

“I get it I do I am sorry I had you worried Felicity, would it help if I promised to call you before any news alerts like that happen as soon as I am safe at the bunker?” Oliver asked as he rubbed her arms and looked down at her so sweetly.

“That would help yes but, I just wish I knew what the real motivations are behind this sudden go solo mission, because as you have said. ‘You were never alone that I was literally in your ear the whole time you were out in the field’ I get I wasn’t there from the beginning but I almost was I seem to recall a bullet laden laptop that was brought to me in the first month. Oliver, help me here, please?” Felicity grabbed his face so he was looking right at her.

“I used to take down guys like Diaz before breakfast Felicity. He was nothing back then, Nothing! I need to know I still can save my city. Five years of cleaning up these streets and in one year Star City has become overrun with these thugs like Diaz and I am 100% sure Black Siren is still in his corner and playing Quentin for a fool. I need to take him down and I need this to prove to myself that I do make the right calls I do know what I am doing out there. I know you believe in me. I know that here.” He pulled her hand down to his heart. “But since John left and said what he said. Here.” He placed her hand on his head. “Started to doubt it. I need this and I will try to remember that I need to communicate more with you but I want you to trust me in your bones that I will come back.” Oliver kissed the tips of her fingers holding both hands in his.

Felicity stood for a minute. “Okay, I get it. I understand but Oliver the second you feel like you need my help you call me don’t go and do anything crazy like last year with the Bratva.”

“This minute, part of me wants to talk to Anatoly and see if I can find the friend I lost in him but I will let you know if and when I try that.” He pulled her in for a kiss, then he knelt down and kissed her belly and with reverence made the same promise. “Silvia I promise that I will always come back. I love you baby girl so much and cannot wait to meet you.”

Felicity put her hand on his head to steady herself as the tears she was holding back broke free. Oliver stood and pulled her into his arms. They stood like that rocking back and forth him holding onto her as she let her emotions flow.