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clean-bands-dirty-stories · 4 years

Text

Normal ~ A.L.

A/n: Ah yes, this is going to be fun.

Request: “...Alec lightwood x male reader. Maybe the reader is mundane and shows Alec what it’s like being human for a day and then Alec shows him what it’s like being a shadow hunter. And maybe the whole time Alec is like o my word I love this kid...” by anon

Word Count: 5100+ (this is why it took me so long CHRIST I’m sorry)

MASTERLIST

You know, the thing that kept Mundanes seeing into the world of the Shadowhunters was a funny thing. It was supposed to always work, blocking humans from seeing monsters and those that hunted monsters. The problem was, nothing was perfect. Everyone made mistakes. Everything glitched from time to time.

I guess you could call Y/n a glitch.

The thing that kept humans from seeing things they shouldn't? It didn't work for Y/n.

When Y/n had first been seen facing down a vampire, it had seemed a little odd. The woman the vamp was going after seemed miffed that some dude was cutting in on her date, and everyone was confused. When they had killed the thing and Y/n had thanked them afterward, they'd all assumed he might have been like Clary - unaware of his Shadowhunter background somehow. But he had assured them he was human, and had proved it. Thankfully, since the plan had been to use a rune on him and if they had, he would have absolutely died.

Y/n was just immune to the magic that should have kept him far out of the knowing of what was really going on in the shadows of his town. Which left him unable to do anything, other than gather information and share it when he could. Y/n had no magic and no way to fight when he had no training or run protections, but he did have a talent for tricking monsters with their one weakness. He was human, and they were hungry.

Long story short: Y/n was really good at being bait, and he didn't mind it either.

Alec minded it a lot.

The two boys had gotten close pretty quickly. Alec refused to admit it, but Y/n was pretty charming. He had a nice smile and a contagious laugh, and a sort of lightness about him that was incredibly refreshing. It wasn't that he was untouched by darkness, or that he was fresh and innocent and waiting to be destroyed, like they all were before their line of living had ruined them. Y/n had been aware of monsters all his life, and being surrounded by people who could not see what he could see had landed him in either very near death situations, or mental hospitals a few times before he'd learned how to lie. He'd even been medicated really heavily a few times, but when that had done nothing, Y/n had come to terms that there was something going on that other people couldn't see. He had been in this business for a very long. No, Y/n was just the kind of person that refused to lose that inner child. He was soft and strong, and could make anyone smile and any situation bearable.

The way he made life so much more beautiful drew Alec in so aggressively, the Lightwood boy lost his breath every time.

Y/n was good at getting along with everyone else too. He wasn't good at much other than writing, leaving him to connect with Clary because of the similar vibes of their childhood, as well as their mutual passion for art. He and Simon bonded over poetry as well. Izzy enjoyed having someone who could keep up with her flirting, without it meaning anything or leading to something neither of them wanted. Even Jace was enjoying Y/n's presence when he proved that despite his lack of an ability to fight monsters and the such, Y/n WAS well trained in self defense. The two sparred while Y/n cracked jokes and made Jace laugh. Yeah, the blonde and brooding Jace was actually LAUGHING.

Having Y/n around was very refreshing.

So they all missed him a lot when he wasn't around.

Y/n attended college to chase am Arts History degree, and worked two jobs to keep himself afloat. The day Alec got permission to let Y/n move into the Institute was a great day for everyone. Now he was around a lot more- especially because now that he didn't have to pay rent, he could quit one of his jobs. In his free time, Y/n spent cleaning gear and learning how to hone his lame cooking skills. He wasn't great, but he was better than Izzy and was usually the only one with the energy to try it at the end of the day. When Hodge... went rogue, Y/n took charge of keeping up the Garden and learning all he could about how this world worked so he could take care of things and keep everything running smoothly. This left him spending most of his time in the library, reading up on history books.

One day though, Y/n needed Alec's help. Tensions between the two boys had risen almost to over spilling, but every time Y/n thought they were going somewhere, Alec stepped back. Y/n respected the boy's hesitance and never pushed, but the dragging was getting to everyone else. Izzy especially, who wanted the coolest mundane ever to get with her brother.

That wasn't why Y/n was bothering Alec now though. "Hey can I clean the glowing weapons things, or like... will those kill me?"

Alec couldn't help slip a small smile when he heard Y/n's voice. He turned around to see the boy coming in, a huge book in his hand but a confused look on his face. "Please tell me you're not talking about Seraph Blades."

"Those are the ones," Y/n confirmed without hesitation.

Alec shifted, raising an eyebrow. "They're just... fire."

"Well yes," Y/n drawled, rolling his eyes. "But the tubes. I mean, when they deactivate there's still something there, right? Doesn't that get covered in blood and stuff? Won't it getting all icky mess with the magic? And I've never seen any of them dirty. So do you guys have to clean them, or can I?"

That was very confusing to Alec. "Okay hold on. Have you never seen us kill a demon before?"

Y/n got rather sheepish then. "In my defense, I usually get in the way if I help, so I run unless there's someone in immediate danger. The last time, when I tried to help that girl, I almost got her, myself, AND Jace killed.

Alec flinched at the memory. "Jace is an idiot. Him jumping in when he did was his own fault."

"Wouldn't have been necessary if I wasn't provoking a damn vampire," Y/n mumbled.

"That girl probably would have died if you hadn't. We couldn't have attacked him with her there without chancing hurting her, or exposing ourselves. You saved her." Alec was ready to argue this, far too used to Jace's tendency to see the worst in himself despite the fact that he was actively a hero.

Y/n had to relent. "Fine, whatever. So, the blade?"

"Demons don't bleed," Alec explained. "They... well, it depends on the demons actually. Some turn to dust, or explode into fire. Some just kind of fade away. No need to clean blood off our weapons."

Y/n nodded, but obviously had a follow up question, so Alec waited for him to ask it. "Doesn't the dust get on your clothes? Does the fire ever burn you? Perhaps I should pick up some medical skills as well in case you guys come home hurt. Might make me more useful."

Alec rolled his eyes this time. "If you're seriously stuck on the idea of running this place instead of going out there and working in an art museum like you told Clary is your dream job, I won't stop you. That's not my decision to make." Y/n blushed, but Alec pretended not to see it. "However, if you're going to be one of us there are things you have to understand." He hesitated. "I want you to follow us around me around sometime. I can show you what it's like to be a Shadowhunter. You can even come on a mission if you want, but I want you to stay FAR out of danger, do you understand?"

"Yes sir." Y/n was grinning, and between that and what he had said, Alec felt his chest heat up with a weird emotion he refused to address. "When do we start?"

A soft chuckle came from Alec then. "How about tomorrow? I'll wake you up bright and early, so be prepared."

Y/n nodded eagerly, already walking backward - presumably to return the book so he could head to bed. "Great! See you tomorrow, Alec!" He turned around and jogged away then.

Alec couldn't help himself but appreciate the view as Y/n retreated down the hall. He heard someone clear their throat and looked over to see Clary, whose smirk was so wide it wiped the smile off of Alec's face. He turned away from her and moved toward his own room. What had he gotten himself into?

When Alec got to Y/n's room that morning, he was expecting to have to wake the other boy up. Unfortunately for him, when he opened the door, Y/n was already awake. And getting dressed. He wore the long, dark pants a lot of the guys around here wore when they weren't in Mundane clothes. He did not, however, have a shirt on. "Oh, good morning Alec," Y/n greeted brightly.

Alec almost exploded right there. Y/n wasn’t especially muscly, but he was rather lean. Y/n did a lot of walking, running, and casual work outs every once in a while before meeting the Shadowhunters. He knew self defense after all, and liked that the occasional work out filled him with energy after a while, even if it tired him out at first. Since joining the Institute though, Jace had enforced a daily workout. Some days Y/n got even more done when the two boys sparred, or when he had to move things around for research (those books were a lot heavier than they looked) or rearranged his room again because he liked to have a new layout every once in a while. Y/n had become the extra pair of hands everyone was excited to have. He was strong enough to spot for a lot of the other Shadowhunters even, leaving him in that comfortable middle between ripped and soft. He had angles and lines, but plenty of soft edges too. He looked like he could pick Alec up and then cuddle him just as easily. It was a body type that looked very good on the boy, and seeing him shirtless did things to Alec that should not have been being done.

It was then that Alec realized Y/n was talking to him. "I'm sorry, what?"

Y/n laughed, shaking his head in amusement. He put a shirt on, leaving Alec wondering if the boy knew what had left Alec so distracted. "I asked you what was first on the agenda today."

"Have you done your morning workout today yet?" Y/n shook his head. "Then that's where we'll start." And they did. Alec pushed himself further usual, and he knew he was doing it to show off to Y/n, but he also knew a little part of him wanted to outshine Y/n too. The boy kept up pretty well, and Alec didn't want to have a Mundane do better than him. After, they got breakfast, parted to shower, and then rejoined again to head to the sparring ring.

"You guys do a lot of training here," Y/n realized aloud.

Thankfully Alec had caught it, because he was super distracted by the way Y/n's wet hair shone under the lighting of the Institute, and the way it made his eyes look brighter. He didn't need to get caught for staring again. "Yeah. It takes up time, but it also keeps us ready for any surprise attacks, and prepared for nighttime hunts." Y/n nodded but didn't say anything else as they reached the rings. Alec grabbed two long staffs, passing one to Y/n as they stepped up to spar. Y/n knew what to do - he did it often with Jace. Alec was sure he'd claim victory over the Mundane.

Which left him rather speechless when Y/n pinned him. They were both out of breath and Y/n loomed over Alec, his feet planted and knees trapping Alec as the end of Y/n's staff rested threateningly against Alec's throat. "You're dead," Y/n joked.

Alec looked at Y/n with new eyes. What was with this guy? Why did Alec have to try so much harder to end up on top? Mundanes were like Clary and Simon, before they'd been trained. Alec could still remember how long both of them had lost time and time again to even the newest and youngest Shadowhunters. How could Y/n win against Alec? "How are you so good at fighting? I thought your thing was writing stories."

Y/n moved back, letting Alec go. He offered a hand and Alec took it. He was once again knocked breathless when Y/n hauled Alec to his feet without seeming to even struggle. "I'm stronger than I look. And... when I was younger, I didn't have shadowhunters and parabatai to have my back. I had to learn how to defend myself. Whether it was running from monsters, or making sure I didn't get pummeled by bigger kids who called me crazy and laughed at me because of the stories I supposedly made up..." He shrugged.

That didn't settle well in Alec's stomach. "I don't think any of us know what it's like to live like that. Clary doesn't remember, and the rest of us grew up with each other. I... I'm sorry, that's terrible."

There was a second when Alec saw the heaviness that Y/n hid so well in the boy's shoulders. Suddenly Alec was stunned by how someone so burdened by pain and sorrow could still radiate so much light and joy and comfort. How did Alec only now know that Y/n was capable of winning against even a well trained Shadowhunter, if he was really trying? Why was it such a shock that someone who grew up with deformed nightmares roaming around, would be able to kick some ass and defend himself? Alec realized then that Y/n made everyone feel safe. Y/n didn't seem able to hurt anyone, even if he wanted to. It made Y/n even more amazing that he was capable of defending someone if he had to, but chose not to in favor of making people feel safe around him. I dare say it made Alec feel even more safe.

Y/n sighed, and the moment passed. He was smiling again and Alec felt his heart swell with a feeling that terrified the dark haired boy. A feeling that also made him feel... really great too. "So what's next on the agenda, Lightwood?" "Jace will have our goal for tonight. Come on." Alec lead the way as they both headed to where Jace was. Alec explained the situation, and with Y/n's assurance he'd be plenty safe, Jace agreed. Y/n had been around a lot, and Alec was right - if he was up keeping the place, he had to know what being a Shadowhunter was actually like. After that had been settled, the trio headed to track down Izzy and Clary for the mission tonight.

"First thing first, Y/n's joining us tonight. He won't be getting involved, and will only be tagging along for educational purposes so he can know what he's dealing with as he gets more involved with how this place work, as well as the people in it," Jace began. Izzy and Clary both nodded, no arguments to be heard. "Okay, now down to business." Long story short, there were two demons who had teamed up and they had to kill it. Usual stuff.

Since when had demons and murder become Y/n's normal? Yikes.

The kill went rather smoothly, just like it was supposed to. It was a nice change from all the odd things that had been rocking everyone's world since Clary, Simon, and Y/n had joined the team. Very good for teaching as well. Y/n stayed back as promised, taking notes mentally and internalizing it. He thought about his thought earlier on how murder and demonic beings had at some point gone from nightmare to reality. Normal, even. For Shadowhunters, there was no shift. They grew up and lived a life where monsters were more than nightmare and you learned to kill from a young age. Perhaps it was fair, since they were bad guys surviving off of killing humans, but still. Alec knew how to kill Y/n. He probably could, if it was required or just if he wanted to. He could do it and he would get away with it too. Shadowhunters leave no trace and no Nephalim was going to care about Y/n being dead.

As the dark thought started to rise, Y/n pushed it down. As much as he seemed a bundle of effortless happiness and light, even he had his moments. He was just better at keeping them in check.

Everyone came home and got ready for bed as Y/n made food. He finished up before anyone came to eat so he killed time by making everyone's plate and putting them on the counter. When he was still alone, he sat on the counter and let himself get lost in thought. Just as he was, Clary popped into the room. "That smells amazing."

Y/n smiled. "I hope it tastes as good as it smells then." They both chuckled as Clary grabbed her plate and began to leave. "Going so soon?"

She nodded. "I have this... it's sort of um..." she seemed to be struggling. "Drawing. Can I show you later?" It was a habit she'd gotten from Y/n, losing her words when she was excited. She had been a little like that before being a Shadowhunter, when it came to art. Y/n fueled it again and set off her fire. She was more into art than ever and Y/n loved to see it, even if it meant one less person at the dinner table.

Y/n had been trying to have family dinners, but most of the time his efforts dissolved. Rarely did he get everyone. Usually he only managed to wrangle a few, and sometimes he ate alone. When a Clary left, it wasn't long before Simon and Izzy meandered in, lost in conversation about something. Y/n wasn't totally listening, as they were obviously midconversation and Y/n was lost as to what they‘d said up until now. They each grabbed a plate and headed out. Y/n sighed and watched them, but still said nothing.

Jace came next. "What did you think about the fight tonight?"

Y/n jumped and then chuckled. Jace gave a sort of guilty look. The blonde tended to hide his emotions, but when it came to Y/n he was always sorry to disturb the boy. Y/n had just seemed very pensive - nearly sad - and Jace hated the expression on Y/n's face. He was too used to the others who were trained to notice other people in the room even if they were quiet.

Quickly composing himself again, Y/n responded. "It was... cool, I guess. You guys are incredibly talented and there's something aesthetic about watching demons vaporize. It gave me a lot to think about."

"Like what?" Have asked, eyebrow cocked.

For a second Y/n hesitated but then Jace doned a prying look and Y/n was a terrible liar so he gave in. "You guys don't know what it's like to be human." Jace's expression darkened and Y/n flinched. "I mean, you have this angel blood that puts you above everyone else. You slay demons and purify the world and handle the boosting power of runes that any other creature would be destroyed by. You know what it's like to be angel. Except maybe the flying." The joke lifted Jace's mood a little. "But you don't know what it's like to... I mean, you're half human. But I can't imagine any of you getting jobs or going to high school. Being vulnerable without the protection of your runes and the insane immunity they grant you. I mean- like earlier, I realized that Alec could one hundred percent kill me if he wanted to, and he would get away with it. No human would know, and no Nephilim would care so-"

"Clary, Izzy, and I would care." Jace seemed to have not meant to say it out loud. But he had and it stopped Y/n short.

He felt cared for and it made him uncomfortable. Jace could sense that. "Well that's... not the point." He blushed. "But thank you."

Jace nodded, then moved on to spare Y/n. The other boy obviously wasn't used to having people care about him. It made Jace remember that Y/n's life had been really hard. Y/n had spent almost all his life alone. Sometimes it was easy to forget with how kind and loving Y/n was. He was used to taking care of other people but being taken care of? Yikes. "Does it bother you?"

Y/n immediately shook his head. "Not at all. I don't feel in danger, at least. I trust all of you guys and know that none of you want to kill me. It does bother me though that you don't get to experience that normalcy. I mean does anyone here bake just for fun? Or have hobbies outside killing literal demons?" Jace went to speak but Y/n cut him off. "Clary doesn't count, she wasn't raised a Shadowhunter." Jace's mouth closed and Y/n sighed. "I just wish more... safe things for you guys. More fun and laughing and loving and less sneaking around in the shadows and killing. Thinking like that all the time... living a life where you only survive and hide and kill. I can't imagine it does good things for your mental health."

"I'm in perfect health," Jace reassured Y/n.

Y/n rolled his eyes. "No you're-" He stopped, shaking his head. He hesitated, perking up when an idea occurred to him. "What if I incorporated a little humanity into how we run things here? We can have like arts and crafts rooms and encourage people to utilize the library and the garden for things other than just necessities. I can enforce family dinners and we can congregate and have awkward family dinner discussions like normal people."

Jace smiled. "That sounds really nice actually."

That encouraged Y/n a lot. "Perfect, I'll start tomorrow."

"Start what?" Two sets of eyes turned to see Alec coming in the room. His eyes lingered on Jace, who seemed to be light on fire by the eye contact, as he was instantly on his feet, grabbing his plate, and heading out.

"Y/n can explain. He has a really great idea." He paused, smiling wider. "I'll see you at dinner tomorrow." Then he headed out, leaving behind a grinning Y/n. Alec snagged the last two plates, setting one by Y/n and the other on the counter next to him. He then pulled up a chair, turning it backward so the back of the chair was against his chest as he sat down, beginning to eat on the counter rather than the table to keep Y/n company. "What was that?"

Another idea hit Y/n then. "I'm going to bring some goddamn humanity to this Institute. You're all half human and you act like that's a bad thing or something! I'll start with a crafting room, and then using the garden and library for fun stuff instead of just what we need. We'll have a calendar with birthdays and celebrate each one with a proper little get together. AND, we're having family dinners from here on. Spread the word."

The authority in Y/n's tone took Alec off guard. "Will do." He found himself smiling a little. "I show you what it's like to be a Shadowhunter and you took from it that we need to be more human?"

Y/n mulled that over for a second, rather than letting it go as the joke Alec had intended it to be. "I don't want to erase your angel half. I know what you do is important, and that you guys save people and stuff. But even though you do good things for others, none of you do anything for yourselves. Self care isn't just staying in shape and getting food and sleep and healing yourselves when you get hurt. Do you have any hobbies other than fighting, Alec?" The Lightwood boy considered before conceding that Y/n had a point. "You showed me how to be a Shadowhunter. Now let me show you what it's like to be human." Alec's smile grew. "Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow," Y/n agreed.

The day started the same, with Y/n respecting that Alec still had a routine and also that said routine was one some people carried as well. The waking up early and doing a morning workout, more than the killing demons and keeping vampires, werewolves, and fairies in check, but still.

Next, Y/n pulled him over to his laptop where he was going to online school. As Y/n worked, he answered questions about high school and even middle school. The more he talked the more Alec's face twisted in a bitter expression, like he'd bit into a lemon. Y/n busted up laughing when he got to math and Alec moved away from the screen as if it had offended him. "Not as glamorous as kicking ass and taking names and saving lives and shit, but it's cool. I guess."

Alec shook his head. "Is this... necessary?"

"I wouldn't go that far," Y/n snorted. "Do you use math like this? Ever?" Alec shook his head no. "And you're far more productive than most people who graduate college- and debt free!"

There was a moment where Alec seemed speechless. When he spoke again, it was slow. "This is kind of nice though. Easier to.. handle." He eyed the math page again. "No, I take that back. This is much scarier."

Y/n laughed at that. "Less deadly though. I get it." Alec smiled at him. It was so small it practically wasn't there, but it was, and it was sweet.

After a while, Y/n put his homework away. "That's not due for a while. Having to balance the human world and the shadow world was difficult at first so one night I pulled an all nighter and got weeks ahead on homework. My teachers were a little miffed since thy hadn't taught me the material yet, but easy ones like English were easy to swallow. Just, read a book and write an essay. You know?" Alec did nod knowingly at that. "My point is, we've had enough of this and don't have to finish it for tonight, so now is a good time for a break." He hummed to himself, thinking. "Do you guys have a TV here?" Alec rose his eyebrows. "That's what I thought. Come on we're going to go to my place."

So they did.

Alec had never been to Y/n's apartment before. Y/n had been clearing it out slowly, but there were still some thing here. Things that he couldn't take with him to the institute. Things like the fridge and the big furniture and, yes, the TV. It wasn't that he couldn't fit his bed and couches in the Institute, it was just that it would make it official if he did, and things still seemed to be up in the air for him.

"It's nice." It was perfectly clean and bright. The curtains were drawn to let the sun in and the walls were painted a light baby blue. The whole place made Alec relax his body. He sat on the very comfy couch and practically melted. There was just a sort of ambiance here that gave Alec the impression nothing bad could ever happen here. Which went against logic and reason and experience and training... but I guess that programming wasn't enough to fight the way the couch dipping with Y/n's weight, next to Alec, felt like... safety personified.

The two watched a few movies Alec had never seen or even heard of. Halfway through the Lion King, Alec felt his body lean into Y/n's. Without missing a beat Y/n shifted his arm so Alec could lean into in more, even rest his head on the other man's chest. Every time Y/n moved or laughed or spoke Alec didn't just hear it. He felt it. It was amazing.

All too soon, the sun was down and it was nighttime. "Do you want to watch another one, or should you be heading to bed soon?"

Surprise overtook Alec when he realized what time it was. His body was completely undone and his heart rate had evened out. He'd never been this calm in his life. "I'm surprised Jace hasn't come hunting me down."

That made Y/n smile. "I told him the plan for today. Told him that I was commandeering you and if he showed up to steal you tonight I'd kick his ass personally. I may be a Mundane but that won't stop me from finding a way to knock the blonde out of his hair." A jerking laugh bubbled from Alec then at the mental image of Y/n doing such a thing. "Yeah," Y/n agreed, chuckling along. "Took some convincing to get them to all take the night off. Jace argued, but as much as saving people is important, taking care of yourselves is just as important. And after you showed me what you guys do every single day... Holy shit."

Weird feelings began to twist in Alec's stomach. He could lie very well, about a lot of things. He could lie so convincingly that Jace would back off, and Izzy would let it go. He could lie to his mother to meet her ever demanding expectations. Unfortunately, he could only lie to himself for so long until his realist side kicked in and demanded him to accept what was.

He was in love with Y/n.

Well, shit.

"What are you thinking about over there?"

Alec felt his stomach flip. Double shit.

"Just... uh." He flinched at his sudden awkwardness. Y/n frowned, noticing it since they were so close. "I just want to thank you. The way you've thrown yourself into our lives and way of living and have done your best to keep everything going and then improve upon it? It's amazing. You work really hard to make life better for us."

Y/n swallowed, his face relaxed but his eyes intense. There was something in those eyes that was begging to be seen and known, but Alec was too scared to acknowledge it. What if Y/n could see through him and wanted to just be friends? What if Y/n was trying to be polite? But if that was the case, wouldn't he have pushed Alec away? Why was he pulling him closer?

Then they were kissing and it was all because of Y/n and Alec didn't have any doubts anymore.

When they parted again, Alec's mind was racing and Y/n's voice was soft. "I'll always be here Alec. All I want to do is make your life better and easier and more pleasant. You deserve it."

This time Alec kissed Y/n, and it lasted much longer and was much more intense. When they parted for the second time, Alec whispered, "Will you move in for real? I want you around all the time. I want you close and safe and I don't want you to go anywhere else. I don't want you to have to."

Y/n smiled. "Anything for you."

Male reader tags: @sheepfather

#alec lightwood #male reader #shadown hunters #x reader #imagine #alec lightwood x reader #alec lightwood imagine #shadow hunters x reader #shadow hunters imagine

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popculturebuffet · 4 years

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Scotrospective: Scott Pilgrim Vs the World (The Comic)

Hello, Hello, Hello scottaholics! And what a beautiful day it is: After decades lost in the lost woods, at least it had that catchy tune to keep it company, Scott Pilgrim Vs the World: The Game is FINALLY back and performing for you on all platforms!

Even Stadia, the platform most likely to disappear like this game did for a while! Cheap shots at the stadia aside as a huge fan of the franchise as a whole and of this game who played it back on the 360, and had since sold said 360 so I had no way to get it back or ever play the dlc packs. Seriously who didn’t want to play wallace but never got to? Everyone, everyone is the answer. But with those the entirety of what I consider to be the main cast is playable, it has online so you can beat up hipsters, guys in costumes and robots with your friends, it’s a good damn feeling. And since i’m in a celebratory mood, naturally i’m also feeling like a review. And since it just so happens the next volume up in my look at the comics is Vs the World, seriously I planned this review for this month without thinking to have it come out on the same day as the game until a week or two in, I felt there was no better way to celebrate the biggest day for Scott Pilgrim fans in some time.. and for Brian Lee O Malley as he’ll stop getting twitter asks about it. So with all the exposition taken care of LAST TIME, and the link right there if your curious, we can jump right in. On with the show!

After our opening titles, and yes this comic has opening titles, with Ramona sitting solmely in the rain.

And Scott caught in the title. The rain shot is real pretty by the way. But yeah once we get past those we’re taken back 7 years ago. Finn found out his father was an asshole, and voiced by Stephen Root so hey you take the good with the bad, Steven just learned the horrifying truth about Gem Monsters, Guardians of the Galaxy saved the MCU and I was trying to find work after college.. wait... sorry sorry that was 7 years ago from THIS year. The comic came out in 2005, though the comic takes place on a sliding timescale where only like 2 years pass so I dunno when this is. Let’s just say 98. Okay so 1998: Bill Cllinton’s sex scandal breaks, and puts way too much of hte blame on the young intern whose life came to be defined by one stupid mistake she made with a man who was way older and should’ve known better, the tide of the Monday Night War turned in favor of the WWF as Stone Cold Steve Austin became a household name, and it was an utterly standup year for video game relaases with Ocarina of Time, Banjo-Kazooie, Crash Bandicoot: Warped, StarCraft, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, WWF: War Zone, Pokemon Stadium, Spyro The Dragon, Pokemon Yellow, WarioLand 2, Oddworld: Abe’s Exodus, Star Wars: Rogue Squadron, Pokemon: Trading Card Game and Sonic Adventure. It’s like someone took a good chunk of my childhood and squeezed it into one year holy shit, I did not expect this when looking up what came out in 98.

And while the movie pool wasn't’ quite this amazing, we still had The Wedding Singer, The Big Lebowski, the dude abides, Batman and Mr Freeze: SubZero, The Truman Show, Mulan, the good one not the one made near concetration camps that makes her into a demigod, Saving Private Ryan, Blade, Simon Birch, Scooby Doo on Zombie Island, Rushmore, Bride of Chucky, HalloweenTown, Plesantville, and the Prince of Egypt. And in music Weird Al changed from his first signature look to his second, getting Lasik and growing out his hair. Seirously had no idea that was this year. Good to know. Also Elton John got his knighthood. Super shooters. I could go on with 1998 triva for days but I cannot go on for 8 weeks so let’s get to the point here.. during alllla this Scott Pilgrim, age 16, was starting St. John’s Catholic School and a couple of guys who were up to no good started making trouble. . by threatning to beat him up for no real reason. A fight insues and we cut to the principal’s office as Scott’s still a minor and not allowed to get into death fights just yet under the people’s freedom of choices and voices act.

It’s here he meets Lisa Miler, a peppy and sarcastic blonde, who’s intrigued by the fact Scott somehow got beat up after being here just 15 minutes and wants to be friends. Naturally for scott next we see him he’s busy playing video games, and annoyed someone else is around and wondering who this person whose now in his basement is. God no wonder teenage me related to him. So for the next few pages we see their friendship in time lapse: Lisa joins him at lunch, then geninely wonders since Scott’s Untentionally a dick if he hates her.. it’s part of why I think Scott has some form of autisim. And not just because I tend to belivie a character is on the spectrum all the damn time, it’s because of the way he acts: while he is nice and charming at times.. he also clearly has trouble relating to people or realizing how his actions effect them and as seen here in a younger form can often be compeltely distanced from normal social queues, not getting how his actions might be seen until Lisa outright talks to him about it. I mean.. it’s not a huge stretch, and it dosen’t mean he’s nto responsible for his own actions, but it does EXPLAIN a lot of them better: why he just sorta forgets about Knives post-ramona but at the same time still cares enough he dosen’t want to hurt her despite you know, that ship sailing just by having moved on.

But now the two are friends and his parents, who we meet for the first time and sister inquire about her being his girlfirned.. and by next jumpcut his parents apparently don’t want him hanging out with girls? What exactly the fuck? Also they mention Laurence, Scott’s brother whose missing for most of the books and has no real payoff for not being around. Next cut we get KIM!

Thank you Prissy. And she’s.. not all that different, assuming, correctly that their partner project, how she meets scott will just result in her doing all the work.. which not only is how these things usually went when I was in high school a decade later, but reminds me of the time me and my friends curtis and justin were put on a project and when asked who the alied powers were, guessed “Germany?”.... you can understand my fear. And also Curtis punching him for getting nothing done.. and not hard or brutally mind you just once quick in the gut and with full warning. Ah... the adaquate old days.

So back to Lisa as, since Scott’s Mom has a guitar.. a fact I.. never honestly thought about. Seriously I never realized her children, since the Bass Scott has for most of the books is Laurence’s, getting into music was probably due to her. Also Lisa makes her case for WHY be a band: the school has a regular event called Lunchapalooza, where everyone goes to and since by teen logic, just being in a band is automiacally cool, she figures they can jump from not QUITE being in any cliques to being super cool. Which honestly yeah... while I didn’t know any bands in high school, the fact one of my friends, ironically named Scott, was a DJ automatically made him pretty damn cool once he got past his awkard phase. I never got past mine but somehow was loved by all except that one douchey kid in our group who mocked me for naming my Luxray kim, assuming it was based on Kim possible and not Kim Pine... though frankly how that’s an insult when Kim Possible was a fucking awesome show and character is beyond me but he was just 17 and also a douchebag, it didn’t have to make since it just had to piss off the easily pissed off kid with aspergers. So Scott poses how they can be a band with just their guitars and Lisa concedes drums WOULD help.. I mean it’s what MADE Shallow Gravy.

So while Kim wonders if Scott is dating Lisa, because teenagers don’t really get girls and boys can be friends without wanting to be together, though not often as teenage boy brains can be rather stupid and horny... can confrim from personal experince. So it becomes clear Scott has a thing for Kim, and when Scott tries broaching it with Lisa she dosen’t take it well and he backpedals to asking her to be her drummer and plans to monday, proving Scott has somehow not gotten better at reading women, or anyone after 7 years. Can relate.

So yeah he decides to ask Monday, same day as their presentation.. and thankfully missed the bus as he arrives to find the Benvy Tech boys came in, took everyone out and abducted Kim. Because yeah, just in case you were wondering Scott’s life was always like this.. or was it? Questions for later. So one Canadian Version of River City Ransom later, Scott’s made his way to simon... who, since most of you have probably seen the movie or art of the movie.. looks an AWFUL lot like Gideon. Hrmmm. Simon is naturally the final boss here and wonders if this is the best St. Joels can muster. Scott quips back as only Scott can.

So cue an unsuprisingly awesome actoin sequence. IT’s part of why I love these color editions: While they already LOOKED thoroughly fantastic the added colors really help the series shonen manga meets old school video game vibe REALLY fucking pop. So Simon pleads mercy which like Scott delivering a good quip.. should’ve really been a red flag to younger me and is foreshadowing for later in case I was too subtle. He then does what any noble hero would do.. kicks simon into the sunset, tells Kim how he feels and asks her to play drums. They then make out. Awwww.

Lisa suprisingly takes it well as the next montage shows.. granted we’ll learn in Feburary she wasn’t QUITE as over scott as it seemed, but the three, along with a friend of Lisa’s whose name I forgot and who DOSEN’T come back so I’m not going to bother learning, form their own friend group, Scott and Kim get an A, and Scott, Kim and Lisa’s band is dubbed sonic and knuckles, which is an objectively awesome band name. Something the series really does great: Video Game Based Band Names. Crash and the Boys, Sex Bomb-Omb, Clash at the Demonhead... we need more bands like this in the real world dammit. So then they play their big game, the two loose their vrigniity.. and then Kim asks scott “your moving to tornoto?” And.. for now.. that’s that.

While the framing of that will be VERY important in the last volume, as notice how KIM’S the one who brings it up and it’s not explicitly stated scott actually told her, this flasback is great. While it does contribute to the volume’s drifty pacing, more on that as we go, it brilliantly sets up a LOT of stuff for later, paticuarlly Lisa who I assumed wouldn’t be back and younger me’s jaw fucking DROPPED when she popped up in Volume 4. Granted i’m spoiling that suprise for you now but odds are most of you reading this have either alreaddy read these or were probably wondering if the girl from the animated short ever had any actual relevance in the books. So yes, yes she does. She’s also the pink haired girl you see pop up in the game in the background, as a nod to O’Malley’s comic strip style which had her and Kim as the leads. Also yeah for fans of the game or movie or even the comics who were unaware.. this prologue got an animated adaption on adult swim to promote the movie. Naturally Micheal Cera and Allison Pill reprised their roles as Scott and Kim, with Mae Whitman voicing lisa.. and honestly being perfect for the roll, and Jason Schrwartzman voicing Simon naturally. While the animation is slightly limited, it still looks decent and expertly translates O’Malley’s art, while sliming things down slightly where needed to fit a short, and the anmation takes a huge bump for the fight scene which like the comic is short but awesome. While it has no real bearing on the film as Kim’s former relationship with Scott never really comes up or has any impact, as the Film while good was based primarily on volumes 1-3 with small pieces of 4 (paticuarlly the iconic “Lesbians gag”), with Wright working off outlines and drafts of 5 and 6, so the last half hour or so is mostly Wright’s invention.

Not a bad thing as it’s still awesome and not o’malley’s fault but it means kim dosen’t get to do much, and is a big reason why I want an adaptation on netflix or hbo max. While i’d still want changes both because there’s no sense doing an adaptation if your not going to make some tweaks of your own and because it’d be intresting to update the series to modern day, both in societal conventions and so everyone stops saying the r word. Seirously the most telling sign of the series age is that word showing up quite a bit during the first half of the series. Point is there is merit in doing another remix of the story and doing a longer form one so we can get more of the characters, as well as flesh out ones like Steven, Neil (Who was done WAY better in the movie adaptation thanks to the wonderful Johnny Simmons), and Stacey who got the shaft in the books. Again, not slagging off the movie, it’s really great. Just saying there’s always room for more Scott Pilgrim content and we all know it.

We’ll get back to the comic proper, and the present day of 2005, after the cut.

So the story proper opens with Scott dreaming of playing video games... because of course he is with Ramona walking in. and finding it charmingly pathetic but wanting her boyfriend to you know, get out of bed. It’s 11:30. So with Scott’s ass out of bed, we find Scott, Age 23 idiot with a heart of gold and Wallace, 25 king of all gays, on the bus as they talk it getting warmer and Lucas Lee, movie star and jason lee stand in coming to town to film a movie.. and Scott being Scott gets him confused for Luke WIlson. He’s also seen Bottle Rocket which.. good on him. Seriously while not wes anderson’s best film, those were made long afte this comic was published, it’s still a damn good one.. where was his career at this point... looking it up life aquatic was his most recent films and is still one of my favorites. So yeah he was in a good place career wise.

Scott proudly talks about having Ramona over in a couple days so she can see his place and meet Wallace. But as explained by Wallace for those of us just tuning in, he already met her last volume. You know during that time Stacey thought she could magically make her date not be attracted to someone else.. and yes even almost a month later not letting that one go. Stacey should know better. Not saying i’ts right Wallace keeps poaching her boyfriends, but she still shoudlnt’ try and force a relationship with a guy or even finish a date with one who makes out with someone else, regardless of gender, mid date. She deserves better. In general not just in this one scenario but we’ll get to that.

Point is while Scott, as usual, is a bit pissy about this Wallace.. has no time for that and issues an ultimatium

And he’s not bluffing, as he fully intends to tell Ramona the minute she walks in the door if he dosen’t break up with Knives. It really shows Wallace off at his best and why he’s Scott’s closest friend: Kim and Stephen do care about him but Kim both has a LOT of unresolved issues and sexual tension with him and keeps eveyrbody including Scott at arm’s length. And Stephen.. while he will OCASIONALLY call Scott out mostly just enables him, either ignoring his college buddy’s shittier behavior or playing along with it and backing him up when Kim rightfully calls him on being a dickhead. While both love their friend they just aren’t the best at dealing with his shit or getting why he does the things he does good and bad. Wallace on the other hand geninely likes Scott. He’ll lock him out of the house and tell him to sleep elsewhere so he can bang one out, he’ll not wear pants if he dosen’t have to and he’ll certainly hit on Scott just to get a rise out of him, phrasing.. but he also genuinely cares for the guy’s well being. He lets him sleep in their house basically rent free since scott has no money, buys most of their stuff, and is, as we’ll see in this one, the ONLY one of his friends to take an active part in the fight against the exes, training Scott and researching his opponents when he can get info. He won’t baby Scott as seen here, but he will help him, and he will be the harsh voice of reason his friend needs. And he did TRY doing a softer approach last time, simply telling scott to break up with his fake high school girlfriend. Scott had every chance to dump Knives during the last third of the first book.. it’s just a combination of both Knives and Ramona being in the same place and Scott getting panicky meant he balked. He NEEDS to be pushed into leaving Knives or he’s not gonna. And he also gets it’s not just Scott being a shifty coward: Scott DOES like Knives.. he just found someone who actually challenges him, intrests him and connects with him on his level, versus someone who worships and adores him like a puppy who just happens to be skilled with knives. The relationship with Knives. was an ego boost, an unequal paring that gave Scott the illusion of moving on from Envy. Ramona is him ACTUALLY moving on and given how badly Envy fucked him up, which comes into play in this book and the next, Wallace recognizes that Scott does need her... but this relationship can’t go anywhere if Scott is seeing someone else, and they both know it. Wallace is just the one who’s willing to do something about it to force scott to do something about it. He’s doing this for Knives too: it’s very clear he cares about the girl, was against this from the start, and knew this was going to end in pain and the faster Scott rips off the Band-Aid the faster she can move on to someone closer to her age and far more equal to her. Scott.. takes this about how you’d expect, even calling Double Standard, as Wallace does sleep around.. and while Wallace will be a homewrecker to Stacey.. otherwise it’s not remotley the same. Wallace does his sleeping around either casually or when he does get a partner, with their consent from what we can tell. He never cheats or anything, he just likes to bone. So yeah Scott doesn’t have a leg to stand on and acts accordingly.

One of my faviorite gags in the series and one that’s etched in my head for keeps. So with a justified Ultimatium over his head Scott calls knives to hang out. Knives.. shows off that as adorable and trusting as she is.. she’s also kind of creepy and shows up just outside the phone booth he’s calling her from. So the two go to a record store and Knives tries to get Scott into Clash at the Demonhead, her faviorite band. But since i’ts you know, headlined by Scott’s ex as we’ll find out, he’s not into it. But before that can get awkward.. it gets awkward in another way as Knives invites Scott to dinner at her parents place. Which is an objectively bad idea even before you get into the fact Scott wants a way out and as Volume 4 will show us her dad is both not happy with the idea of her dating a white guy and willing to use a katana to prevent it so he dodged a bullet there. Scott TRIES weasling out of it, but his “I’m too old for you” thing falsls on deaf ears.. and actually explains why she thinks this is normal: her parents are 9 years apart. of course obviously two consenting adults with a decade between them is a mite bit diffrent than 5 years between a teenager whose taking this way too seriously and a grown man whose taking this not seroiusly at all and dosen’t get how effed up this is. But Knives is too naive to get that, and papers over any possible concerns about her parents not wanting her to date a white guy with i’m in love. Seeing that he has no EASY way out of this, as he shouldn’t, Scott just rips off the band aid and bluntly breaks up with her, saying it’s not going to work out. Knives.. is clealry devistatd. To her this was a serious relationship.. and Scott realized that too late.. and thankfully while he didn’t break up with her in the best way, at all, simply syaing i’ts not going to work out and confirming to her he means it, it’s clear from his face this hurts to do and he knows he’s REALLY hurting her and REALLY shoudlnt’ of dated her to begin with. IT’s why Scott dating a teenager dosen’t make him a morally rephrenisvie monster: because he was genuinely intrested, didn’t use her sexually, and there are tangible consequences for his actions. Knives just dosen’t disappear neatly into the sunset so he can be with ramona. The rest of the series covers her emotoinal recovery from being with Scott, and how she very horribly handles it and that’s why this plotline works at all: she’s not some act one contrivance to be thrown away, sh’es a human being, and more than that a young woman who got hurt REALLY bad and got way too in over her head with someone who just..wasn’t the one fo rher no matter how much she can’t admit that.

We also get one of my faviorite sets of pages as Scott relfects on things and the sheer devistation on Knives face, which credit to a series that even at this early point loves it’s big bold facial expressions.. her’s being more subded just makes it sting MORE.

This bit to me is vital to keeping Scott sympathetic and to his character. We see he really does regret what happened, dosen’t know how to process it and genuinely feels awful. As I said instead of some exgerated face that would still hurt him.. her face is quiet, clearly unable to process this and clealry lost and hurt.. and that hurts more than any fuck your or sobs he was probably expecting. Just her clearly not getting WHY he’s doing this or why he hurt her, and he KNOWS why he just knows telling her the truth would hurt her even more. But.. as he thinks.. his thoughts move to something else.. and the WHY of why he did this.

He did it for Ramona. Wallace was as harsh as he was right: he needed a clean slate to actually give this relationship a shot and the smile comes off less as him being a calous dick whose just happy to move on, I mean he is a little, but more jus tsomeone READY to finally move on. He found the right person, he let the wrong one go if clumsily.. he has a future to look forward to and he can smile about that.

Granted he’s still his usual unteitonally callous self and his way of telling his friends he and knives broke up is to casually say so and say “dont’ worry you’ll meet my new girlfriend soon.” Their reaction.. is my own.

Look just because Scott is a nuanced douchebag dosne’t stop him from being a Douchebag. It just means he isn’t intolerable to watch and you actually care about him growing as a human being is all.

So with that out of the way, it’s date night and Ramona is coming over.. also Scott is considering calling her Ramy which no. I'm genuinely in favor of a pet name that’s just a variant on someone’s name but a bit cute, as it’s just the right level of obnoxious, but no, just no Scott. No. Ramona enters, meets Wallace again and sits down while Scott tries to shoo him out.. because turnabout is fair play bitch. They also see Ramona’s new hair as she dyes it something new for the first time, in this case a very lovely two tone, the purple from last volume but with a darker purple bellow it. I honestly wish she went for multiple colors in her hair again, but likely didn’t since the book was originally in black and white... which still dosent’ make sense as it would’ve been EASIER that way. Regardless Wallace makes himself scarce proving that he’s more than willing to be equal in terms of one of them spending the ngiht elsewhere. What a guy.

Ramona finds out a few things about Scott: That his apartment is VERY small, just one room with a bed, a cabinet, a small kitchen and a bathroom, which despite what scott says I REALLY dont’ count as another room. Just common sense. She also learns that he can COOK. Yeah while you’d expect Scott to just get a wad of “I did the ultimatum thing okay now gimme” money and buy dinner but no.. he made the whole thing himself from his own recipe. And once we cut to them eating on the floor.. turns out yeah he not only can cook but is REALLY good at it. She wishes there was a table which, small as the place is.. fair point. I mean at least get some tv trays. You have chairs. Or at least the easy chair. You can get nice padded folding chairs so you have a second chair guys. I know your poor but come on. Also Scott leanrs bread makes you fat. Good stuff. Also Scott freaks out when , while making out with Ramona in bed later, she mentions his hair’s getting kinda long and could use a cut... which turns out to be a thing for him. He isn’t an ass about it he just panics a bit because he’s partially convinced his last relationship’s nightmarish breakup was because of a bad haircut he got. As we’ll see next week, that’s a no but as someone whose a touch neroutic myself I get blaming a larger issue on something trivial.

So we then get to the next chapter where it’s KIM’S turn to have a dream.. and the only time we see someone else's dreams. Honestly.. I really would’ve liked if it was a recurring device, even have Ramona pop into other people’s Not used ALL the time but I could easily see it being used with Knives to convey her obsession with Scott and her pain or kim again to help move her plots along or Wallace because I want to know what’s going on in his head. It must be a maze of male gentalia and fine liquor the likes of which has never been seen. It’s scotts funeral as Simon killed him and Scott’s corpse wonders if she dreams about this a lot.

So we see her get ready and wake up her roomate Sarah whose a bitch. And as we’ll see in one of the backups, so’s the rest of her roommates. So drifting into work. Hollie is a character I really liked... the past tense will be explained later. And the first scene is probably why as her and Kim banter effortlessly, with Kim suggesting maybe she was a happy kid... only to admit quickly no she wasn’t, she was pretty withdrawn and then pretty angsty over someasshole who will be named Scott. “Your a holy terror kim, and i’m glad your on your side”> It’s a short scene but the kind this series excells at: just realistic, fun little exchanges bursting with character. I also GENUINELY wish we got more of this kind of thing, as only Knives really gets these kind of scenes to herself for the most part. There ARE scenes without Scott, but not enough like this that just give us as look into what his friends lives are like during the moments they aren’t putting up with his dumbassery or watching him engage in mortal combat. It’s why i’ve been hoping a spinoff will happen even though it likely won’t SOON. I’m sure O’Malley will return to this world some day, but between Snotgirl and Wicked World, which will come out when it’s ready but should be good.. he’s just really busy. But i’d love to see more of Kim.. or Wallace or Knives. The latter two are a no brainer: Knives is the tritagonist of the books, and it’d be intresting to see what she’d be like 5 years at the book, at the same age and stage in life as Scott. And with Wallace it’s because we really DON’T see his friend circle, life or what goes on with him. We hear him talk about a new boyfriend, who we don’t meet until near the end of the series, though you can see him in stage 3 of hte game if your curious, we see him with some random friends in volume 4, but we really don’t KNOW what hyjinks and lojinks wallace gets up to. He’s pretty isoalted from the rest of the main cast, something I hope an adaptation could fix as while realistic i’td be curious to see what his relationship with Kim or Steven would be like. Just food for thought.

Point is this was a good scene. But as is typical for Kim’s life just when she has some serenity her ex crashes back in. In this case Scott needs to rent some movies, kim works at a rental store and god teenage me really wanted a clerks style spinoff.. but enough spinoff talk. Scott asks kim to bororw them, of course and explains he’s training for his fight with Lucas.. which Kim reacts to finding out her second best friend is in a series of death matches.

She has understandable questions such as how the hell doe she know that and is he stalking Lucas and just hoping he’s an ex.. which let’s face it would be a very scott move. But nope Wallace told him, likely learning in an interview he dated Ramona or is coming for scott because he knows everything. We also get one of my faviorite exchanges when Kim wonders why Wallace and Scott are roomates.. a valid question he deflects by saying i’ts a long story.

Also yeah, as much as casting Micheal Cera backfired for the movie.. that panel there proves there wasn’t another choice at the time. When you want a loveable, somewhat douchey, but also somewhat innocent and oblivious slacker.. who you gonna call. Also before we move on.. Kim.. how are you this suprised. You were there for the fight with Matthew. And Ramona giving out the exposition on why he’s there.. and you even did that whole weird space channel 5 thing no one ever did agian and to this day I will never understand what O’Malley was going for and only know the refrence by hearing that’s what it was. Point is you shouldn’t be this suprised. Anyways we next cut to Ramona and Stacey, as Ramona enters her workplace, second cup, and they talk and Scott’s spider sense goes off...

I mean it’s just a bad feeling but still.. weird. WE’ll get back to that later. Scott is in the middle of his training.. and I love the mentor side of Wallace and feel it didn’t get used enough as the series went on. As said before he cares about Scott, so he serves as his Shounen Mentor and a great one: he’s stern and makes Scott work, but he also gets his student and what Scott needs to work. I just wish he’d taught Scott some actual combat, but as we see Wallace’s combat skills boil down to yelling useless info from the sidelines.. I mean he can be useful, we’ll see that next week, it’s just he’s not an action guy. But spirtually he’s the guy scott needs to kick his ass into shape. That being said his “training” consists of watching Lucas’ movies, playing tony hawk and when Scott wants to play more Tony Hawk, having Scott do pushups while Wallace plays Tony Hawk. Before we turn... there is an elephant in the room I just gotta shoo out: Lucas.. is easily the worst setup of the 6 exes. Patel SEEMINGLY comes out of nowhere but his letter and email hint SOMETHING is coming up, and his flashy dynamic entry intro is damn cool and is what turns the series on it’s head, from an indie comic about a guy getting it together.. to that but with huge shonen dustups with epic visuals. Todd is introduced masterfully here, and is a presence from the start of volume 3 as a result, Roxie gets a slight tease in the free comic book day issue, and her not attacking for two months not only sets up tension but allowed for a red herring.. im’ not only hiding that the fourth ex is a she because anyone whose seen the movie or played the game knows the fourth ex is a woman. The cat’s out of the bag, no sense hiding it. The Kentangis show up pretty early on and Gideon is hinted at and built up, as this towering, mysterious figure, his relationship with Ramona, who he is, why he set up the league, and just how fucking strong he is is all obscured, with his only four apperances simply teasing the big final showdown and giving him that much more mysitque.

Lucas.. is just sorta intorduced like “Hey I gotta fight this guy”. There’s just.. nothing. Scott’s just gotta fight him because he’s next up and Wallace knows that because plot convience. It’s VERY lackluster given what comes before.. and frankly while I like Lucas, he’s the weakest plot and character wise. HE’s not even really EVIL, just a sellout and is more doing this because he has to I guess, and likely because of stuff we find out in Book 6 but sssssshhhhh. We’ll get more into that when the fight happens but it’s one of the books weakest points. The evil ex.. just feels like an afterthrought again despite there being no reason to. Thankfully this would never happen again as I said, but it dosen’t make this any less frustrating.

So we cut to Sex Bomb-Omb practice, and after that we get more tease for Clash at Demonhead. And Stephen.. is cool with them and entirely happy one of them made it, while Scott is understandably pisssed off about it and not happy one of his best friends is you know, promoting the band of his ex who broke his heart and as we’ll get more into next time, said rising career is what tore them apart. So yeah Stephen’s a dickhead, and I was wrong last time that he got better. He really.. dosen’t. He gets less CREEPY.. but out of the main 6 characters he’s the weakest: he dosen’t have much of an arc, does some very questionable shit in the second half, and his being around means we have to suffer through Julie. I’ll tear into him more on a case by case basis but for once Scott’s not overreacting. While Kim does nothing she also has no idea just HOW bad things were and Scott won’t tell her. Stephen was there the whole fucking time. He just saw Scott’s rebound with a teenager. He knows he was kind of messed up after this. Dosen’t justfiy knives but still he looses the moral high ground he tries to have at times.

So while Scott shops a song for Ramona to her, Knives calls Scott’s place clearly setting up another suprise apperance. Wallace.. figures out what sh’es doing quick and simply gives her a stern “You have to go” And to me it’s not him being a dick.. he’s both trying to save her from seeing Scott with Ramona and fucking her up worse... and is looking out for her. She needs to move on and moving up to stalking Scott’s not going to help that. Scott dosen’t WANT her anymore, and while he handled it bad, Wallace gets she needs to see that. Granted he could’ve you know explained it to her and tried talking, but as i’ve said he’s not a perfect person and he was also on a time table to get her out of there in case Scott you know, showed up with his new girlfriend and made things a billion times worse. And the two are indeed headed to his place to watch one of Lucas’ movies, and part of that weak setup is that Ramona.. just has no connection with him. It was high school. Scott also pretends he dosent’ remember his. You are a lying liar sir stop that. So they watch the film together hanging out, and it’s.. really bad. The good one was rented out. I miss rental stores.. a magical time. I mean i’ts better now, streaming means 80% of movies are avaliable if you have a bunch of services and even if you just have netflix or hulu or hbo max, you still get a pretty decent selection each month. Plus digital rentals are super easy. Do miss redbox though. I mean it’s still there I’m just warry of something that relies so heavily on touching things in a state with a lot of trump morons. You CAN get Covid twice and I don’t wanna. Also we get some dated Dialouge as Scott commenting on Lucas being hot, he is good taste Scott, is given a “good job convincing me your not gay”. He and ramona end up having sex though so .. yay? I dunno. The series has a really weird thing about not getting bisexuals exist and as someone whose bi, and really against bi errasure it bothers me, it bothers me a lot. Though given O’Malley apparently has not only far more queer rep in snotgirl but a bisexual lead, he’s clearly learned so i’m not going to drag him too hard on this. It was the early 2000′s. People were pretty damn stupid about this. Creators have gottten MUCH more important issues much worse.

So the next morning, Scott gets a call from his well meaning but ditzy mom, and reacts like you’d expect. His parents are in Europe to keep them out of the action and what not. Though apparently according to the last book his mom did read volume 3 at least. Or Wallace told her about the relevant bit. You make the call.

So i’ts Ramona’s turn to meet Sex Bomb-Omb. The group hang out and discuss Gordon Downie.

Look I don’t know indie bands. I have no idea who the tragically hip are I just know the name is really hipstery. We also get the recipe for Vegan Shepards Pie. None of them are vegan they just wanted to try it and I.. really want to make this some time. Just to see if it’s any good. But yeah it’s in general a fun casual scene, as Kim reveals she and Scott dated, just to break the tension, and Scott tries out Rammy but quickly backpedals. Just fun slice of life stuff. Oh and Knives is watching them from the window and takes Scott dating someone else as well as you’d expect.

So she gets some hair bleach to do some highlights and calls her friend Tamara over. We met her last volume as she dragged her along to the show, but it’s here we really get to know what she’s like.. i.e. the sane one in the duo, rightfully pointing out Scott’s not that great. Also Knive’s points out ramona’s “fat”, which is thankfully portrayed as petty sniping as while Ramona does have some curves it’s you know.. not remotely a bad thing and the kind of thing a teenage girl would harp on. Still she’s just in STEPS from this happening.

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But yeah.. it’s clear here Knives has some underlying issues to address and really needs therapy not to go after her ex’s current girlfriend with knives. I mean it’s in the name but still. Then again volume 4 has her dad going around with a katana or something like it wanting to murder her daughter’s older ex boyfriend he dosen’t realize is ex so it’s clear her whole FAMILY needs some therapy. But this does round her out and show there’s more to her.. a pretty violent and obessive side sure, but it shows she wasn’t just some one dimensional ego boost for scott but a person. One whose just as flawed as the rest of the cast.. but more sympatheic because they’ve all got about 6 or 7 years on her and at this age that’s a lifetime. And while Scott DID set this off by dating her which was objecitvely a bad idea... the rest of this isn’t remotely on him. He handled things BAD.... but all he wanted was for both of them to move on. Knives.. simply can’t admit Scott is not a nice person, was probably two timing her as Tamara points out, which as we know he 100% was, and is not some perfect guy she can’t replace: like Knives.. he’s just a person with faults and she’s too blind to see that.

So before we can get to the crazy stalker ninja fight, let’s instead get to Scott and Ramona hanging out where we meet Gideon, Ramona’s Cat who i’ll call Cat Gideon, both because I love steven unvierse and because it’s less confusing. This is a pretty slight scene as Ramona admits not a lot happened with Lucas and Scott’s apartment is a hole.. which yeah, yeah it is. Also she DEFINTLY dind’t cheat on him with any cocky pretty boys. Which would come off worse if it wasn’t for the pact Ramona was clearly doing it out of regret and Scott just liked like 50 pages ago about rembering his exes when one of them is his second best friend.. which neither would admit but you know it’s true. Stephen is third where he belongs.

So next morning it’s fight time, and Scott is glad wallace is going with him. It’s awkard going to fights alone. Which leaves me to wonder if before this comic Scott just.. fought random guys letterkenny style. Like they’d call up, schedule it and then he and one or more of his friends would go beat up a guy. It’s just.. hilarious knowing that this kind of thing is common in canda minus the ki attacks , flash effects, wizards, vegan psycics, ninjas, and roboticists. But damn I now want a scott pilgrimized letterkenny now more than ever. You know you do too don’t deny it. I”d love to see the hard right jay fight but iwth a loud “KO!” when he gets his ass knocked out. Also Casa Loma is a very real, very cool Toronto location, as I never realized as a kid, to the point that the lucas fight was filmed there for the movie.

So Scott approaches Lucas a bit star struck and upon finding out scott is.. punches him out as seen in the header image and throws him into a tower. When Scott regains conciousness, Kim and Neil have arrived and Lucas calls a time out. And it’s here we get to, while being the weakest of the 7, why I like Lucas.. he’s actually a pretty nice guy. At WORST he sold out. But the two have a pretty nice conversation over ritz and baby carrots, with it turning out, unsuprisingly Ramona did cheat on him with a cocky pretty boy, and while like Ramona he’s clearly moved on, it still hurts a bit and understandably so. He also warns scott while she might seem nice i’ts an act.

I mean it isn’t ALL an act, but she does have a tedency to put up walls and act pretty badly as we’re slowly finding out.. though given Scott does the exact same it only means.. she’s human. She’s not MUCH higher above him in terms of morality and this is where we get our first peaks into the fact the series isn’t just about Scott’s development but hers. But it’s understandably absent from volumes 1 and 2 since we need to know her first, and this volume is about getting to know her a bit and get a feel for who she is, something I ddin’t really get a grip on as a teen, but do now. We see more of who she is good and bad as the walls go down. She’s more SURFACE LEVEL functional than scott, but beneath it has a lot of the same exact issues. Lucas and Scott continue to GENUINELY bond, as Scott genuinely thinks the guy is talented and Lucas want’s an Oscar this year.. maybe not for the current film which is a romantic comedy with a teen star but hey, stars have done far worse in their Oscar years. I mean at least he’s not making a comedy about himself in a fat suit domestically abusing himself in a wig while he also plays an asian sterotype. He explains he almost didn’t get into the league but felt too important to ramona’s past.. plus he looks cool. Plus they let Patel in despite barely being in a relationship with her and being kind of a tool so they kinda had to let the handsome affiable movie star in. Scott wonders “wait league” and Lucas is understandably frustrated to find out Patel just sent a letter Scott didn’t read.. and at Matthew let’s be clear. I mean.. Gideon has to have known Scott wouldn’t read that since he’s been in his head. We’ll get to that in part 6. Point is they formed a league, hence why their organized enough to come after him like this and Scott understandably glares at Wallace for you know, having him play tony hawk and watch movies yet missing the fucking obvious clue they were all working together and they were only coming at him one at a time by choice.

Lucas offers to just.. take a bribe and SAY Scott beat him, Scott calls him a sellout jokingly and Lucas proves that while not AS bad as the rest of the League, he’s still a dick by telling him to kiss ramona’s sweet ass goodbye pilgrim. Okay either he’s seen her since high school or he’s fondly remembering a high schooler’s ass. Neither one is nice to think about. But Scott gets out of his ass beating by pointing out a ramp, real thing too used for the movie, and asking him to skate down it. Lucas says i’ts impossible, and Scott just whistles. So Lucas tries skating the impossible and dies via velocity. Yes really. Scott collects his change and gets a gift, a mytryil skateboard he.. can’t use because he dosen’t have a proficency for it and bemoans not picking it up in 5th grade. Also he didn’t get his autograph. He does get some coins though so neat. Yeah I mentioend Lucas was the least of the exes and I stand by it: He’s an intresting character, not a GREAT person but clearly a charming and nice enough guy who likely offered the bribe not because he’sd a sell out but because he genuinely liked scott, and is easily the best adjusted of the exes. But obviously a near non existant setup and a really hilarious and unsastifying finish just.. don’t really feel sastsifying. I mean i’t slampshaded, but after all the build up of her having 7 evil exes, the next one is just..filler. Not BAD, but not really anything special and giving Scott a an early pokemon victory, but unlike ash having done nothing to really DESERVE it. Thankfully both adaptations so far VASTLY improved on this. While Lucas is still affiable in the movie he’s also smarmy, if on better terms with Ramona, saying “he seems nice” after the tower throw and throwing in some stunt doubles. His fight goes from one of the least satisfying and weakst of the series, to easily one of the best of the movie. We’ll talk about that more there but obvious Chris Evans version is far superior, keeping the good traits while giving us an intresting fight.. and still keeping the skateboard death because it’s fucking hilarious and the movie improves on THAT too by having scott give flat wows as he slowly dies. The game likewise keeps teh skateboard death, if shortening it, and the skateboard, and while not changing his apperance does make him a hell of a tough boss. Took three tries and some online grinding to take him out. Still a hell of a fight. Point is while I genuinely like Lucas story wise.. this just dosen’t work for me and is pretty damn weak, even if it gives us some godo character insight we could’ve got that, and a fight and still had the finish we did.

That being said.. we DO get a fight instead, likely why the Lucas fight was so truncated. Next chapter and that evening or the next day or whatever, we pan over the real life tornto refrence library. It is a VERY nice touch thatt the comic and it’s adpations use either real places in toronto or reasonable subsittues. While not canadian myself I love the place and hope to visit Tornoto some day when the world isn’t a living nightmare and it’s really nice that like New York for Marvel, Brian Lee O malley really makes the city feel integral to the comic, like it’s own character. But Knives is ominously perched above. At second cup Scott is horrified to find Julie. Seconded. Julie takes the moment to give out to scott about him dating Ramona despite telling him no. Okay...

Yeah as you can probably guess I don’t like Julie. She’s not a good character. The movie did her better, with the bleeping gag and aubrey plaza’s performance, but in the comic.. she’s just the worst. She sucks bad. If she were an ice cream flavor she’d be pralines and dick. While she’s fine on OCCASION, and actually works in the next volume, outside of that she just gets more unplesant, more unlikeable, more bitchy, more unfathomabbly assholish every. damn. volume. I”ll give out about that a bit then too but I have to put up with her for the entire damn comic. Now her being bitchy to Scott is fair to a point: Scott is a mess, and she’s loyal to Envy in the breakup, and Scott’s own friends drag him on a daily basis. The problems are that she’s like that to EVERYONE, even Knives who isn’t about to stab her much as i’d like that. She’s unberable to Stephen whose tolerance for her is unfathomable, though the ending bits of volume 6 show maybe he just has terrble taste. She’s just a throughly unplesant, social climbing bitch who thinks she’s better than everyone. And it sticks out badly against the main cast; Scott is very bad with women and relating to people, but is also nice, charming and most of the damage he does is not intetional. Ramona puts up walls to keep others out but is also a responsible adult and often cuts through Scott, and at times others, internal bullshit. Wallace is an alcholic, but still a very responsible, very loveable guy who clearly cares about scott and supports him finacially and emotionally. Kim is VERY emotionally distant, very misntrhopic.. but also a good person who as we see as the series goes, has an inner light to her and often drags on Scott because she’s been putting up with his shit the longest and WANTS him to be better. Knives is an obessive and violent stalker.. who was also deeply hurt by an older man, dosen’t GET that her realtionship with scott was wrong and uneven, and is clearly not emtoinallyr eady for the deep feelings she’s having. And Stephen.. well he’s a talented guitarist but also enables scott and julie. Especially him enabling Julie.

Point is their all pretty well rounded, llikeable characters with flaws. Julie.. is just an ass. And this scene demonstrates that with flying colors. While Scott does ignore her because he’s too worried about his sister and girlfriend becoming friends, understandably given Stacey knows all his dark secrets, Julie spends two pages giving out and treating scott like some bad guy for persuing Ramona against her orders. And i’m going to break down why.. this dosen’t work.. on any level for her. 1) Ramona is not Julie’s property. She’s a big girl with her own free will. They aren’t even remotely close: Julie met her only barely before Scott, and given the dream thing probably not even that. And you could say Julie is just looking out for her... she dosen’t know Ramona well enough to KNOW if Ramona is still smarting over Gideon. She probably was.. but she readily, once the awkwardness passed, went out with scott and dove right into the relationship. While there’s still some scars as we’ll see.. she CHOOSE to move on and that’s her choice. If she wasn’t ready, she woudl’ve turned him down or broke it off by now realizing it was a mistake. 2) Scott has no reason to listen to her. She hates his ass, somewhat justifably but still, she hates him and has been against him since fucking colllege. She took his exes side in the breakup despite Envy still being partly in the wrong but paints him as some abusive dickhead and not just an insesntive dickhead. To him he’s just some villian she needs to reign in for her cool friend who wants nothing to do with her and grows to justifably hate her over time. Scott and Julie TOLERATE each other. They are not friend,s they do not like each other and never will. They are around each other because of Stephen. That is it. If Kim , Wallace or Stephen had asked, or at least made him wait for kinves. he probablyw ould’ve or at least considered it since while they take the piss out of him, they genuinely care about him and actually have shown they care about something other than themselves! Speaking of which the cou de gras 3) She’s a selifsh bitch: She is NEVER not in any volume seen as out for anyone but herself, and thus scott has no reason to trust her judgement. She berates Stephen, him and anyone who will listen, is only so loyal to envy because she’s famous, and as I said treats EVERYONE like dogshit. And given Scott is still a very flawed guy.. it takes a LOT for him to be so right and he runs out screaming when Julie mentions her.

So back at the library, Ramona brought Stacey along because the place is a maze. Scott calls Stephen and calls julie evil.. which given the last two paragrahs. Yeah. She is. She really is. But that goes nowhere as he dosen’t have Stacey’s number. He also thinks Julie was responsible for this which while she’s very much not.. would it REALLY be that suprising that if Julie were there she would’ve introdcued the two and set up their little hangout just to piss scott off? God I’m so sick of talking about her.

So the two after dropping off Ramona’s package decide to hang out a bit.. not long as Ramona’s got shit to do, but hey I agree with her logic i’m curious about this palce too. But before they can go up an elevator Ramona spots incoming.. and thus we get the fight of the volume. Though given the next one has two climatctic fights and one or two before that, they easily could’ve had both.. this is still the highlight of the volume. So Ramona snaps off a railing and before Stacey can give out about that she finds out WHY as Knives attacks with a pair of sais. And O’Malley did his homework as while you’d THINK it was just another dumb white person mistake.. O’Malley is asian, thoughw ether he’s candaian korean or canadian chineses, as his last name is korean but he has a large chinese cast in this very comic that might come from experince, I do not know and if you do know tell me. I’d like to refer to him properly as I don’t LIKE lumping all asian cultures into one basket. But not only that he did his home work, as Sai’s, while popularized in Okinawa Japan, were also used in other countries. I bring this up since I assumed it was just a simple mistake even knowing Brian was mixed-race, and was plesantly suprised to fine that know, I was the moron. And i’m fine with admitting that.

So we get a damn good fight.. and Knives figures out Scott WAS cheating on her. Granted she assumes so due to seeing Ramona at the refrence Library, before he actually cheated and clearly blames Ramona for it, but still, it fucking hurts. Plus while her attacking Ramona, who initally assumes she’s gideon’s doing, which.. yeah sending a teenage assasian just to mess with her head does sound like him. So while Stacey does complain “ramona you can’t just tear out art objects” to which I say... yeah high, Stacey? NOT THE POINT RIGHT NOW SCOTT’S EX IS TRYING TO KILL HER. SHE’S DEFENDING HERSELF. So we get one hell of a fight. It not only shows off that Ramona is one hell of a fighter herself, as is knives, but just how immature knives is, resorting to constnat fat jokes and taunts showing just how immature she is.. and unlike volume one where it was endearing and we just saw how sweet she was here it just comes off as mean, bitter, and uncomfortable. But again part of the series biggest charm is the main cast are all well fleshed out and throughly human. She’s doint this because she dosen’t know better and was raised in a house where, again as volume 4 will bear out, finding out her dad is going after scott with a samurai sword just warrants a “dad’s are so weird aren’t they” my point is her frame of refrence is a mite skewed. Plus this is a world where everyone but Stacey just calmly accepts big shonen fights break out, so it’s not that unsuaul to want to settle things with a fight and while i’ve joked about her killing Ramona we genuinely don’t know that was the goal> Could’ve been, easily given murder is peachy in this setting and just leads to a respawn according to O’Malley and would’ve just sent ramona back to her apartment. But I genuinely don’t think she has it in her to do it and while she could’ve planend to, she never would’ve. Plus Ramona easily leads the fight as while Knives uses hit and run tactics and tries make her follow.. Ramona is more annoyed than anything as she has shit to do. Knives only gets one hit in and while i’ts a pretty nasty scratch on the cheek, if thankfully not scarring.. Ramona shrugs it off when she brags about it and easily takes knives down with a potted tree. Knives runs and while she tells herself it’s to fight another day.. its really because her opponent was WAY stronger and way more ready for something like this than she probably planned on. She did defintely want a fight, she just wasn’t prepared to be outmatched so handily. It’s also a nice parallel to last book’s fight: Like with Scott and Matthew, while the fight SEEMS pretty even, in reality our hero/heroine was alwasy teh one in control and easily took care of the less experinced and less ready upstart, who likely wasn’t expecting a fair fight much less to loose.

So Ramona and Stacey wisely get out while Stacey explains Knives is indeed Scott’s ex, though is unaware of the cheating thing. Speaking of Scott he’s playing sonic and knuckles, and in fact kept wallace on the line before just to get advice because of course he did hence why stacey didn’t get through to him, but gets a call... from Envy.

This is easily the second best sequence in the boook, which was lovingly and wonderfully adapted to film and as a result I cannot read it without hearing Brie Larson’s voice for Envy , a nice mixture of seduction and condescension. It’s CLEARLY painful fo rhim, and we do get some things established as Envy toys with him, that it’s been about a year and that she left him for a cocky pretty boy, familiar.. and while Scott claims to not know what he looks like.. given Todd is clearly on her band cover... it’s not exactly hard to put two and two together. So after some awkard catchup and Scott telling her about ramona against his will, we get to the reason she’s here with Scott understanndbly being supscious and calling her a user.. which while Envy denys.. she ends up admitting to. She’s coming to town as estalbished and her opening act backed out, and since Scott has a band, and one that 2/3 of which she knows, she wants them to open for her. Scott naturally isn’t too intrested and thinks it’s just pity. The sequence. is masterful, using a watchmen style 9 by 9 panel layout and intercutting scott’s pained reactions and clear lack of comfort with flashes of envy on her side.. never showing her proper, but showing his memories or what he’s seen in magazines. It’s really striking and really sells the sheer discomfort Scott’s going through. So soon after Wallace gets home.. and finds Scott, drained and miserable on the floor, not even responsive. And this really is the scene that shows me that Wallace cares for the guy and cements that asshole he may be, he loves his buddy. He goes through possible scenarios that fit scott: Food poisoning, finding out Wallace saved over his final fantasy save (though he rules it out as last time that happened he was crying), that ramona dumped him.. before Scott let’s out a pathetic and miserable “Ennnnnvvv”. Wallace , who was at ground zero for that relationship as we’ll find out, realizes this and lets out a little shit, unsure how to help and pissed off at that bitch for once again hurting him like this. As I said it shows how Wallace knows scott in and out and loves him dearly.. and how he knwos about this paticuarly heartbreak better than anyone but Scott and Envy themselves. IT’s just a really tearjerking scene, as we get a sense of WHY scott spiraled into an ego boost of a relationship: His last one REALLY tore him in half, and he’s still not completely healed from the emtional bisection.

So Scott gets more bad news next chapter as Stacey tells him about the fight and he’s worried he’s going to loose ramona on top of this. I mean he desrves it.. .but it’s clear she’s the best thing to happen to him after a really rough year of denial and poor decisionss and loosing her will likely only make him WORSE. He also breaks the bad news, to him at least to the band about the gig. Stephen, being kind of a dick who while understandbly excited about a big gig fails to see his friend REALLY isn’t happy about this nor remembers you know, that the person offering this tore his heart out indiana jones style and while they should take the gig despite the risks, it’s too big an opportunity not to, he should be fucking senstive about this. Kim however... has a suprising and heartbreaking reactoin to this. Which is spread over a few panels but i’m gonna string into one image for convince sake.

Just.. DAMN. I honeslty missed this both as a teenager and as an adult when I read through the books last time but holy shit is this a heartbreaking little moment, even more with the development she gets in later books. Keep in mind, over two books so far, Kim.. really hasn’t shown a lot of emtion. The most upset she’s gotten was getting a bit pissed about another a girl drummer. The only other time we’ve seen her sad was at 17 when Scott left. Her only emotions that we could see were angry and surly. But here? She’s genuinely upset and we see her walls break down for the very first time.. and it’s with the clear indication she NEVER really got over Scott. She never got proper closure and while she hasn’t let it so.. it’s been VERY clear she's been grossly uncomfortable with how he just likes to brush off their history, something that very clearly still bothers her and understandably so: 6 years , while a lot of time, still really isn’t long enough to just .. FORGET your first boyfriend , how he made you feel or the fact he took your virginity and you took his. Stuff like that sticks with you.. I’m ony assuming on the virginity thing but my point remains: To Scott it’s SEEMINGLY nothing, when really he’s probably just trying to brush it off because he dosen’t like dealing with things and given how Kim is wrongly assumed she can’t feel pain. I mean to anyone else i’d be a fair assumption and even i’m not convinced if she touched a hot stove she’d burn, but that’s phsysical this is emotional. DIffrent playing fields. Point is Scott’s kind of a dick and not having ANY closure for anything, Kim is still smarting from him leaving as much as Scott is smarting from Envy dumping him. And it somehow gets MORE painful.... which should’ve been the tagline for Bojack Horseman now I think about it but yeah: her line is what cuts me up the most “I saw her on the cover of Now. She’s pretty”. It’s a little line, it’s easy to see why I missed it .. but the subtext really stings. It’s that despite being VERY pretty, I had a crush on her as a kid and I still do now.. Kim just can’t help but compare herself to someone whose now a glamrous rock star. Their equally attractive but all Kim can see is ANOTHER person who Scott cared about more than her. Which seems petty but again he just.. abnadoned her. His moving wasn’t his choice but his not telling her as was framed earlier sure as hell was. And then just.. look at the next people he dates: A glamorous rock star (She wasn’t at the time but that’s for next week), a much younger girl who can’t possible challenge him, and an ultra cool american. To her.. it must feel like he just looks right through her to every other person intersted in him and never even consdered her as a person anymore. I mean.. jesus christ that hurts.. and makes me hate Stephen more since you know he dosen’t notice any of this.. though at least unlike with Scott it’s a bit more understandable because Kim’s so unflappable and he’s already ignoring very obvious and transparent emotional pain why shouldn’t this be any diffrent. So yeah no one’s happy about this, and that ends up including Stephen as he’s so insecure about his band’s talent he’s pretty sure they suck when their probably at least adaquate.

So while Scott dosen’t say anything, it’s clear he’s at least consdiering the offer as when we next see him he and ramona are heading to Envy’s show. And honestly it’s just a really sweet scene as Ramona asks about envy and the two banter and hold hands. A really nice palletee clensar since hte last few pages were like I was the one lucas socked in the gut. Also she assures him she dosen’t hate him, and asks about how the breakup happened, turning down any offers to hear the good times. It was new years eve one year ago, and he mentions it was over her leaving to meet some guy named Todd.. and Ramona finds the story familiar but brushes off Scott wondering if her todd and Envy’s todd wer ethe same guy as a douchey joke. When prying about what happened otherwise, Scott admits it was all a blur.. Ramona isn’t ahppy with the answer.. but it’s nto like it’s that unresonable: he was in deep with Envy, and the breakup was damn bad to the point it took a year for him to recover and end up in the relationship he is now and the one before this was clearly a cry for help. It also helps reinfroce just how much Wallace was there for him and probably WHY Wallace hates Envy so much. They probably live together simply because Scott needed a place after college, was in zero condition to get a job or do anything given his zombie like state.. and Wallace just had him move into his bed, platonically and into his place. It’s probably why while Wallace will complain ocasoinally he isn’t that on scott to find a job. He dosen’t need a paying roomate, they do fine just on his sallary and he has a steady, secure job in some sort of calling office, probably working in medical stuff like my mom. He needs his friend to be safe and happy, then he can get on his ass about being functional, as he is in present day. If nothing else this volume made me realize just how good a person Wallace is. The one thing he CAN remember, to Ramona’s disbelif is a restraunt opening up, the job story he hinted at last volume: basically it was a fancy tex mex place called, and this is one of the best restraunt naems in the history of fiction brace yourself: The Gilded Palace of Flying Burritos. Naturally, as would I as I love tex mex and that name, Scott loved the place, ate there most of the week and like me with some places I liked waited impatietly to get a job. He did and they were even super generous as the food was FREE. Which is a euphoric feeling I relate to, though I also liked any discounts I got. seriously when I worked at Bagel and Bagel a good chunk of my paycheck was eating there for dirt cheap every shift. I miss that place so much. Like even after I left there I still like a good bagel sandwitch. And it wasn’t covid or anything it was just low staffed and slowly coming apart due to a lack of a solid manager after Crystal, the manager who hired me, transfered to a store closer to her home, which I do not blame her for.

Point is I get it even if Ramona thinks this is all made up. Anyways at Lee’s Place, based on the real life Leo’s place, everyone’s gussied up: Steven got an awful haircut and Kim...

But no time to dwell on how great kim’s..everything is.. who DID Neil bring to the concert?

While Kim is VERY much enjoying this, everyone else is a bit freaked with Ramona getting assurance her and Scott dated breifly, with Kim quipping her and neil will probably date even breiflyer, and Stephen.. freaking out, wondering if she seduced him, and asking if they should take him out back and kick his ass..

Just..... that’s a lot of douche to unpack and this review has been VERY long and suprisingly hard already.. but fuck it, we don’t have much left to go let’s do this. Okay one did she seduce him.. I mean I GUESS, but really let’s be clear here: Neil is a horny, lonely, monosolobic 19 year old who lives with his sister’s college friend and whose life revovles around said guys band. Knives is adorable. She likely barely had to flirt with him to get him to say yes .As someone who was a lonely 19 year old doofus, I guarantee no matter the red flags I probably woudl’ve said yes provided she was 18 instead of 17, despite the abudant red flags such as neil vaugely looking like scott, neil being the one single man within scott’s circle to get her way back in, as Knives hasn’t realized she’s bi yet or given how much she looked up to Kim, she probably WOULD’VE gone for it. As would any sane person, which neither knives nor I entirley are. So she didnt’ so much seduce him as offer him a girlfriend he didn’t have and him being too intrested in having a sweet, caring girl on his arm to see the giant army of adrestian soldiers needed to carry all the red flags this presents.

And as for “do we need to kick his ass. “ Stephen.. did you kick SCOTT’S ass? No, you fucking abetted him and only stepped in for the good girl thing. You did NOTHING to stop his relationship with knives or tell him he was screwing up or look out for that girl’s well being. This will bite him in the ass even harder in volume 5, but even now it just makes him look REALLY fucking bad that, even if he probably dosen’t mean it, that’s at all on the table. Also.. Neil, unlike scott is doing slightly less wrong. While he is 20 to her 17, three years.. it’s HALF of what Scott and her’s age diffrence is, and far more equal in power structure. It’s still not.. GREAT, but my point is you did NOTHING when Scott did this, for far flimiser and less forgiavble reasons.. but when NEIL, whose been nothing but weirdly loyal to you dates her, you want to kick someone’s ass. I mean yes he’s being stupid: in a clear role reversal of the Scott and Knives situation, it’s obvious just from her expression that KNVIES is the one in control here, and the one using someone to ease her own pain. Granted it’s wrong, if not as wrong as Scott should techincally know better and Knives very clearly dosen’t, as well as get into a show of her faviorite band. Is what she’s doing wrong.. yeah... while she can’t see it again it’s what Scott did just not QUITE as fucked up due to not being AS embalanced. Should neil probably be dating her after scott did ? No. But should you be threatning him and not scott for you know, setting all this in motion? No. Jesus christ you suck Steven.

Thankfully while Scott presumibly calms Stephen down, Kim spots Hollie and her roomate Joseph, who will be suprisingly important. He’s very gay, very quite, very bearded and is only hear because the bass player is hot and when prodded on it....

Well said. Also I read that with John Heder’s voice fo rsome reason.. don’t know why, his career ended as quickly as it began because he REALLY did not pick his films well. He saw that he was going to be in a film with David Spade and Rob Schinder and didn’t fire his agent for suggesting it. Meanwhile Scott and Ramona run into Sandra and Monique, Scott’s old classmates who just sorta.. show up every so oftne, often backing up Julie because every Alpha Bitch needs a posse. As Boscha has proven once you loose your posse you loose your bitchy powers. They also ask if Scott and Ramona are an item which leads to a fantagious visual gag.

Also Stephen awkardly talks to the new couple, about how much Knives loves the band, and because why start reading the room now just sorta.. CASUALLY slips in the fact he knows her is because she and scott dated.

Granted Knives action this book really EARNED her that curveball.. but still, it’s transparently clear she’s both not over Scott and Neil’s a placebo, and that she loves the band... how the fuck did you get through college, much less get two loyalish friends Steve.

Kim tries to hide when she runs into Sarah whose with.. someon O Malley does not know, literally captioning it “I don’t know htis girl”. Fucking love that gag even if SOMEHOW kim is the roomate they all hate. Despite hte fact as the side story will bare out, her roommates are all pretty obnoxious, so i’ts probably because she’s the only sane person in that group and their VERY lucky kim just dind’t set the place on fire on her way out and let god do what he should’ve a long time ago. Also we meet Lynette, the band’s drummer who smokes “She must be evil” “Still hot though”... both accurate. Also Luke wilson is there.. no really. Just holy shit that’s awesome. Okay so with all of that out of the way, it’s time for the show. So after a full volume’s build up , and a really cool build up in the page before we finally properly meet clash at the demonhead, and miss envy adams.

Heck of a reveal and not the only one as ramona realized what the audience probably already guessed....

Dun dun dun! And since I don’t like leaving a cliffhanger dangling lest I have to... we’ll be getting to this next week.. what you thought i’d say right now or tommorow? This was a lot. But no i’m not leaving you too long. Next week, Evil Ex Crossover! Ramona and Wallace become BFF’s! We learn what the deal with Scott and Envy is! Scott faces the Ken to his Ryu! And Wallace gets a boyfriend. All this and more next week. for now...

Final Thoughts: This one.. was a VERY rough one to review and it ties back to this volume’s biggest problem: it is not paced very well. Like the series as a whole it has a pretty easy going, slice of life pace. The only ones without this kind of easy pacing are 3 and 6, and even 3 has some slice of life bits, their just both more focused due to the events going on. This one... well....

Pretty much. While this one has very important stuff going on, Scott and ramona getting closer, ramona getting more fleshed out, Wallace showing how deep his character is, Kim also getting fleshed out quite a bit, Knives showing off her crazy side, setting up the next volume, the second ex fight.. it’s all just kinda.. jumbled together. It’s not really until the knives fight onward the book takes on some really solid pacing and really gets going.It’s not a BAD book: ther’es some REALLY good character stuff as I dug into.. but the pacing is just really loose and without the Evil Ex fight as an anchor and with ramona and scott just sorta.. getting to know one another, in both biblical and non biblical senses, it dosen’t have either of the series main narrative thrusts. Even the knvies subplot really amoutns to nothing for now, as Ramona dosen’t find out Scott’s a cheater, and only distrusts knives now. That’s about it. It does improve on book one in characterization, with eveyrone being MUCH cleearer in terms of who they are and settling into their iconic selves nicely. Wallace’s more selfless and protective side pops up, Ramona starts to show mroe of her personality good and bad, Scott’s better traits are mixed a bit mor eeven with the douche ones, Knive’s far more unstable and violet stalker side emerges, and Stephen.. well fuck him, point is things are coming together.. but O’Malley still isn’t quite at peak power yet. Not bad and still worth a read like last time, just a bit uneeven is all. That being said... if you want O’Malley at his peak.. well then come back next week. Until then i’ll be doing my usual buisness of reviewing birds, refrencing simpsons and letterkenny, and putting my eyes back in after kim’s look up there. For now the sun’s setting and i’m out of here.

#scott pilgrim #scott pilgrim vs the world #ramona flowers #kim pine #stephen stiles #wallace wells #envy adams #lucas lee #oni press #Brian Lee O'malley #knives chau #neil nordgraf

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callmebrycelee · 4 years

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Album Review: Confetti by Little Mix

During one of the bleakest years in human history, Little Mix has delivered us pure joy and happiness in the form of their sixth studio album: CONFETTI. I became a fan of Little Mix, a Mixer is what we’re called, a few years ago when I clicked on one of my coworker’s Spotify playlists. The first song of theirs I can recall listening to is “F.U.” from their fourth album Glory Days. After looking up their other albums I then ventured over to YouTube so I could watch a few of their music videos. I instantly fell in love with the choreo-heavy “Touch” and the slumber party-themed “Hair”. I then started looking at their live performances and I was blown away. For me, Little Mix is everything I ever wanted out of Fifth Harmony. Now before I get some hate, Fifth Harmony is/was a great pop group and without them we wouldn’t have Normani, but whereas some of the girls in Fifth Harmony are/were more vocally talented than others, each of the members of Little Mix - Jade, Jesy, Leigh-Anne and Perrie - have amazing voices and those voices blend together so perfectly.

I’m so glad I discovered Little Mix when I did because it gave me enough time to binge their albums, music videos and live performances just in time for their fifth studio album LM5 to drop. If I had to rank the albums prior to CONFETTI, LM5 would definitely be at the top of my list. Realistically-speaking, the album didn’t perform as well as their other albums but the album is damn near perfect in my opinion. I then later learned the girls were going through a separation with their then-record label Syco which is a major factor in why the album didn’t perform as well as it could.

CONFETTI is Little Mix’s first album since leaving Syco so many of us were very much looking forward to what the girls were going to deliver without having Simon Cowell standing on their neck. Our first taste of a newly emancipated Little Mix came in the form of the 80′s-inspired “Break Up Song”. They released their second single “Holiday” in the middle of the summer and their third single “Sweet Melody” was released a few weeks ahead of the album’s November 6 release. Being in the United States, I stayed up past midnight so I can listen to the album and since it’s release it’s been in heavy rotation on Spotify. I thought it would be fun to review the album and rate each of the tracks. There are 13 tracks on CONFETTI and I will be giving my thoughts on each track as well as a score based on a scale of 10. For those of you reading this, keep in mind, I am one of way too many Little Mix fans to count so if there are tracks that you like that I do not rate as high, just remember this is my opinion so forgive me, HAHA. Without further ado, here’s my review of CONFETTI:

BREAK UP SONG: The first track on the album is also the album’s first single. Break Up Song is not only a total vibe, it’s a total 80s vibe. I was delightfully surprised when Little Mix released this song earlier this year. I love that this song is yet another reminder of just how freakin’ talented these ladies are. My favorite part of the track is Jade’s bridge towards the end of the song. The song is bright and fun and I simply cannot resist busting out some serious 80s dance moves every time the song comes on. Rating: 10/10

HOLIDAY: While Break Up Song gives up 80s pop vibes, Holiday sticks its toes in the contemporary pop pool. It makes sense that this song was released smack dab in the middle of the summer because it is the perfect summer jam. I especially love the accompanying music video which features the girls luxuriating in a spa somewhere on the moon or maybe Mars. It’s sugary and sweet and just like Break Up Song it’s one of those songs you can’t resist dancing to. It should be noted Holiday is the second single off of CONFETTI and it is one of my top 3 favorite tracks off the album. Rating: 10/10

SWEET MELODY: When I first heard the reggaeton-infused Sweet Melody, my initial reaction was meh. Thank God I listened to the song again ... and again ... and again ... because on the second, third and fourth listening, I realized just how truly epic this song is. The lyrics are quite brilliant with my favorite being the Perrie-led second verse: “He would lie, he would cheat, over syncopated beats.” Not only is the song a banger, the music video is one of the best visuals Little Mix has ever released. The choreography is fire and you can tell they put their blood, sweat, tears and spinal cord into their dancing. Sweet Melody is my favorite track on CONFETTI. Rating: 10/10

CONFETTI: Prior to the release of CONFETTI, this track was made available. This song gives me late-90s/early-2000s R&B vibes and I quite enjoy it. It doesn’t hit as nearly as hard as Sweet Melody but this is yet another song I can picture being played in a club. If Little Mix releases any more singles from this album, which I believe they should, I think Confetti is a strong contender. I imagine the music video will be very heavy on the choreo. Rating: 9/10

HAPPINESS: Category Is: Songs That Could Have Been Released By Britney Spears in the Early 2000s. Happiness is yet another track that was released ahead of the album. Unlike the first three tracks of the album which are very much songs about relationships, past and present, Happiness is the self-empowerment anthem we never knew we needed, especially in the year of our Lord 2020. Happiness is a splashy pop song but it doesn’t elicit the strong emotions I felt when listening to Break Up Song or Sweet Melody. Rating: 9/10

NOT A PROP SONG: One of the things I like about Little Mix is every so often they’ll release an acoustic version of their popular songs, i.e., Black Magic, Touch, Holiday. This song is acoustic rock and it is not a sound I was ever expecting from Little Mix. If there was a sequel to National Manthem, it would be Not a Pop Song. I like to think of this as Little Mix’s emancipation proclamation after fleeing the clutches of one Simon Cowell. My favorite lyric from the song is in the chorus: “No more singing songs bout breaking my heart or my lonely nights dancing in the dark.” I absolutely adore this song and it gives me early Kelly Clarkson vibes. Rating: 10/10

NOTHING BUT MY FEELINGS: This song from beginning to end is an absolute treat. I love how lowkey the song starts off and after the chorus, you assume the song is going to keep amping up but at the start of the second verse it goes back to being lowkey again. I love a song that keeps me guessing. I especially love the theme of the song, the struggle of wanting to keep things super casual with someone when deep down you are developing strong feelings for them even though you know you shouldn’t. If there was any doubt the ladies of Little Mix are not grown, this is proof. Rating: 9/10

GLOVES UP: One thing I like doing whenever a new album by one of my favorite artists is released is heading over to YouTube and watching people’s reaction the albums. It seem likes Gloves Up is a favorite off of this album and I just don’t get it. I don’t like to skip tracks, especially on Little Mix albums, but admittedly this is the one I’m tempted to skip when I’m listening to CONFETTI. I like the message but the song is a bit cliché. I hope that repeatedly listening of this track will make me like it, especially since I have a very strong feeling this is going to end up being a single. Rating: 6/10

A MESS (HAPPY 4 U): If Break Up Song had a sequel it would be this track. I love the lyrics and I love the instrumentation. It’s a gorgeous track and again something unexpected from Little Mix. I love Jade’s falsetto on this track. Rating: 9/10

MY LOVE WON’T LET YOU DOWN: I feel like in addition to giving us great dance bops, Little Mix also delivers when it comes to ballads. The gospel-tinged My Love Won’t Let You Down is absolutely gorgeous and will be the perfect closing song on one of their tours. There are Little Mix songs where I think, wow, I’d love to see what the music video would look like and then there are Little Mix songs where I think, wow, I’d love to see how they’d perform this. This track is definitely of the latter variety. All four of our queen’s vocals are on point. Rating: 10/10

RENDEZVOUS: Remember how I said there are three songs on this album that are my favorite? Sweet Melody is my fave track on the album and Rendezvous is my second-favorite. Rendezvous is sexy and sleek and reminds me of something Ciara would’ve released early on in her career. I also love that it samples the song Sway. I cannot wait to see how they perform this song on tour and I would love for this to be a future single because I would love to see Little Mix turn up the sex on one of their songs. This song reminds me of Notice for some reason from LM5. When Little Mix does sexy, the do sexy right! Rating: 10/10

IF YOU WANT MY LOVE: Like Gloves Up, If You Want My Love is another meh track on this album which sucks because it’s literally sandwiched between two perfect songs on the album. Perhaps this is another one I��ll have to keep listening to in hopes that it will grow on me. Right now I’m feeling pretty blasé about the track. Rating: 6/10

BREATHE: Yay! We get not just one ballad on CONFETTI but two! This is the perfect close to a pretty awesome Little Mix album. I’m happy to report the album ends as strong as it begins. Of the two ballads, I prefer My Love Won’t Let You Down but that shouldn’t suggest I don’t like this song. I love it and it’s another one I’d love to see performed live. Rating: 10/10

ALBUM OVERALL RATING: 9

#little mix #confetti #little mix confetti #break up song #not a pop song #sweet melody #nothing but my feelings #jade thirlwall #jesy nelson #leigh anne pinnock #perrie edwards #album review #lm5 #black magic #touch #gloves up #rendezvous

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fmdjaeyeol · 3 years

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word counts: 274 + 260 + 276 + 320 + 251 + 261 reward: +5 tracker points

assuming your muse has changed in some way, be it internally or as a result of a change of the external factors around them, how is your muse different? these can be as small as an opinion on a song they hadn’t released previously or as big as a major change in their background.

jaeyeol changed the most out of all my muses admitted. there’s been a couple major switches with them. the biggest one is the change of pronouns that yeol is using (which are they/them/he/him) in addition to the bit of a gender crisis they’re having at the moment. they view of gender was always a bit skewed because of their parents, mostly their dad and all the rather conservative and religious beliefs he has. it took jaeyeol years to accept that they were queer and interesting men/male-presenting people, and still they struggle to admit that out loud even in spaces where they know no one will judge them. honestly i don’t think jaeyeol though much about gender and how they perceived their own gender, and honestly neither did i. it kinda hit me out of nowhere too, so that’s the story that jaeyeol is also getting. for now, they’re still very confused and have no idea what’s going on and the story here is that jaeyeol is testing out new pronouns to get a full idea of how not being perceived as only male makes them feel within space they’re comfortable in and giving everything a good, long Think.

other changes include yeol being a year younger now, it never felt right to have them as a 97 liner tbh so i bumped it down a year and moved the date a couple days back as well. and of course jaeyeol got a faceclaim change. lastly, they are no longer a main vocal, they are now a dance and rap legend ft occasional vocals and honestly i love it for them.

what does your muse think of their company and their group?

in short, jaeyeol likes catalyst overall. the music and lyrics are a bit weird some times but honestly it works for them somehow, and it also fits well with their personal style of dancing, which they’ve been able to bring to the forefront in helping choreograph for songs. the group has allowed them to continue to explore dance styles as they’ve choreographed and tried to figure out things that wouldn’t just work nicely for himself but also all the other members and how they dance. in addition to liking the general concepts and music, they’ve made some friends along the way, which is always nice. in terms of how they feel about gold star, just like every idol probably does, jaeyeol would like to fight them sometimes for the decisions they make or the way they lay out catalyst’s schedule, and their favorite pass time is stressing out their poor manager. though there’s no boiling hatred or anger towards anyone and they’re just vibing. all of this is pretty much the same way jaeyeol felt towards dimensions/unity prior to the restructuring of everything. the only real difference there is that previous jaeyeol was a bit salty they weren’t getting solo schedules and opportunities but that’s different now (maybe because i’m getting better at making claims and establishing what i want to do with my children, maybe not, the world may never know). so yeah, like i said, generally jaeyeol is pleased with catalyst and their success, even if that success isn’t what gold star has initially expected of them.

is your muse on their first contract or their second? if they’ve renewed, what were their feelings around that at the time and what were their hopes for their second contract? if they haven’t renewed, what are their current thoughts on the end of their eventual first contract?

catalyst is still on their first contract, having debuted only in may of 2018. they haven’t been around long enough to move out of their dorms and jaeyeol is still stuck with a roommate and no pet to love on. their first contract renewal isn’t going to be happening until 2025, so both yeol and all the catalyst members have lots of time to think on what they want for their futures. jaeyeol is very appreciative of the fact that it’s still a good few years off because honestly, they have not a clue what their thoughts are on the end of their first contract. it’s weird for them to think that they would have dedicated seven years of their life to catalyst by then, and almost a full decade in total once you factor in the amount of time they spent training prior to debut. the few times that they have thought about this contract ending and them potentially signing onto another seven years spent at gold star has resulted in them going back in forth onw hat they want to do with their lives. on one hand, money is great, but on the other they could potentially have a successful solo career and be doing their own thing. also they’d be thirty-four years old by the time the end of a secret control rolled around to an end and ideally jaeyeol would like to have done the whole settling down, got married, and maybe even had a kid or two by that point. it really isn’t appealing to them to still be bopping around and going woo woo woo woo firetruck at that point.

what are your muse’s goals and motivations?

jaeyeol’s main goals right now are to continue what little bit of a solo career that gold star has let them begin to build. it was just doing some choreography for catalyst but now they’re also being allowed to do modeling projects and expand more outside of the group, which is something that they are firmly enjoying. it’s not that they don’t love catalyst and being a member of the group, but they also like the idea of having an established solo career that is separate from just being an idol so that when catalyst eventually comes to an end sometime in the future, they have something to fall back on and rely on. i guess this is also their motivation in many ways. stability is something that they never really had growing up, which is odd considering that their family was well off in many different ways, but still, they want something more for themselves than the environment they grew up in, which was rather unpleasant. their current goals in relation to that is just continuing to grow and try more things, eventually they want to go on and start choreographing outside of the group and for other groups and maybe even solo songs if the opportunity arrives. in addition to their motivations i mentioned earlier, jaeyeol also just wants to like have something to take pride in and prove to people in their life that were trying to steer them in an entirely different direction where they didn’t want to go, that their happiness was most important and that they could be successful and respected even if they hadn’t gone on to be working a standard desk job or become a doctor or lawyer. they just want to be more than what they thought they could be while growing up and maybe one day be confident enough to speak out more and motivate others to do the same.

what is one conflict, internal or external, that your muse is currently dealing with, has recently dealt with, or will need to deal with in the future?

i touched on this fairly extensively in the first question honestly and explained the one real large ordeal that they are internally dealing with at the moment, and to reiterate, that is their gender and their gender expression. the idea of being anything other than male had never crossed jaeyeol’s mind, let alone potentially questioning their gender to a point of going outside the standard binaries. on top of doing that all in a country where something like that isn’t a widely accepted or supported thing. they thought the only struggle they were going to have like this was their sexual orientation but at least, they were proven wrong. the conflict was brought upon because of me actually and suddenly i realized that i was naturally using gender neutral pronouns to refer to jaeyeol and took it as a sign that my brain was trying to tell me something. so here we are. the idea of jaeyeol questioning their own gender crosssed my mind briefly when i first conjured the image of the muse in my head but it was never any substantial thought, but apparently i had the thought for good reason. and like i also said earlier, they’re testing out the whole option of being non-binary and being perceived as such with those closest to them, including their partner and friends as of right now. though they have no idea where they would be on that spectrum, in terms of whether they feel like they are agender, genderfluid, etc.

if your muse has established career claims, what are their thoughts on their career so far? if they do not, how do they feel about not having individual activities yet? what would they like to do in the future, if anything? if they don’t have ambitions for individual activities, explain why.

jaeyeol is living their absolute best life in their career right now if they were to be straight up asked, even though it isn’t much of a solo career outside of their group in the way that people would probably think about having a solo career like having solo music (which is something they aren’t super interested in honestly). the only things that they really have done on their own is some solo magazine covers because gold star media finally came to their sense and realized that they have that absolute beauty that is jaeyeol jeon and are putting those looks to great use other than being (arguably) catalyst’s center or one of the unofficial center’s of the group. so far there’s only been two but they look forward to doing many, many more in the future when the calls come in asking for them. the other part of their established career claims come from partial choreography claims on a few of catalyst’s tracks, including: firetruck, cherry bomb, simon says, and kick it. the list is short but in my brain they’ve been doing their own dance choreographies to songs on instagram/ social medias as well, those are just some of the real official things they have their name attached to at the moment. both of those paths are ones that they would like to continue on with and hope they get to for a long time. the next step they would like to take is choreographing for other groups or people so they can keep expanding their talents and abilities.

#famedrstask1 #the limitless me | paras.#graphic design is my passion clearly

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shadows-twilight · 4 years

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RWBY Volume 8 Chapter 6

My various thoughts and opinions on Chapter 6 of RWBY Volume 8, “Midnight”

SPOILERS BELOW:

Oh wow, getting straight into the backstory, I see, I can dig it.

The rythmetic cycle of Cinder’s scrubbing, Cinder getting beat up, and the Madame’s heels is quite the effective opening. Tells us right from the start the good time we will not be having.

Yes, yes, you made the Rooster on the wind vane the same as the Rooster Teeth logo. Don’t worry, we noticed.

So Cinder did indeed grow up in Atlas. I must say, that is one fancy hotel. Clearly the kind of place that only the richest and scummiest attend.

I wonder what the societal implications are that the decorations of this lobby are almost exclusively Grimm. I almost want to say that it’s a sign of just how removed from real-world problem the patrons are here, that these beasts of nightmares and despair are nothing but novelties to them, that they see them as interesting rather than fearing them, but later we see a huntsman here, so I’m not so sure.

God, how mistreated was Cinder before she even came here? That “Food?” line just broke my heart.

NEW SONG!!!

Damn, why do they have to give all of these one-off backstory characters such wonderful designs? This Rhodes guy looks awesome!

So the thing that triggered Cinder’s semblance was intense anger. That tracks.

Jesus Christ, the Madame has a literal shock collar on her? I’d ask how this kind of thing was legal, but then this is the same kingdom where Jacques was able to operate his slave-like business practices with impunity, so I guess I’m not too surprised.

Wait, the “without you” mantra was forced upon her BEFORE Salem? That just got even darker.

Metal skin, huh? Rhodes’s rocking that Ultimate Shield, me likey

Ok, I think I see what Rhodes was trying to do with Cinder here. I can’t say I agree with it, he definitely should have just said “Hey kid, I’m just gonna take that inhumane piece of garbage off your neck and get you the hell out of here, okay?” but think I understand his thought process. As we established earlier, this arrangement between the Madame and Cinder is legal. It isn’t right, and it’s the farthest thing from kind, but it is legal. Cinder is just a ten year old girl, and the Madame is her legal guardian. That means if she were to run, she’d be a runaway, and if Rhodes were to take her, he’d be a kidnapper. They’d have to spend the rest of their lives on the run, even moreso if Cinder had hurt them. Alternatively, she could grin and bear it until she was old enough to get out legally, allowing her to be truly free. The problem is that she would have to grin and bear it for SEVEN YEARS, during her frikkin’ FORMATIVE YEARS! What’s more, while he was there to give her companionship and hope for the future, he got to come and go at his leisure, and probably be gone for extended periods of time (I’m assuming he still performed his Huntsman duties during this time) while she was stuck in the same traumatic, abusive environment 24/7. I understand where his mindspace was, but he did not think this through.

I’m mildly disappointed that the weapon he gifted her wasn’t Midnight. It would have made her destroying it in Volume 3 take on a much greater meaning. Also slightly disappointed that Cinder is indeed her real name. I guess she simply chose the Fall part.

Yeah, I’m not going to spare much sympathy for those bitches. I mean, one could argue that this was straight up self defense (at least with the Madame), and while I know the stock lessons from these shows is “no one deserves death” and “revenge blackens the soul” and yada yada yada, defending abusers isn’t exactly a hill I’m gonna fight on.

That being said, carrying on from my word vomit above, I understand Rhodes’s reaction as well, even if I don’t agree with it. While we can make the argument for abuse and self defense, an yada yada, we also know that in the eyes of the law, this was a cold-blooded murder, and Rhodes clearly seems to be the kind of huntsman that sees it as his duty to uphold the law. Even if he didn’t, and he let her go now or helped her run, they’d be once again in the situation he was trying to avoid, on the run. Personally, I say worth it, and if he had managed to get her to Vale, Ozpin probably would have been understanding enough to help her out, but that’s my opinion.

Oh shit, it’s an Ok Goodnight song. ... OH SHIT IT’S AN OK GOODNIGHT SONG! THAT IS AWESOME!!! Nice choice of song, too, the lyrics work very well for this scenario and Cinder’s story.

I find it incredibly sad that Rhodes immediately stopped fighting the moment Cinder’s aura broke, and even after she stabs him, all he does is give her the same headpat gesture he did earlier. For all his aforementioned faults, he really did care.

I will echo a statement I made towards Adam when we learned about his scar. I sympathize for the girl who went through all of that abuse, she didn’t deserve it. I spare none for the woman she grew into.

And we’re back in the present where we see that modern Cinder is still a sore loser and Emerald is still an overly dependent yes-woman. I feel for her sometimes.

Anyone who watched Infinity Train, is Mercury’s behavior reminding anyone else of Simon? I’m getting some serious Simon vibes from that smugness.

Oscar’s more of a clever little boy than many might have given him credit for. He’s here getting the ass whoopin’ of his life, and he’s strategizing ways to turn them against each other. Far more than just a farmhand, now.

Oh boy, Hypocrite Hazel strikes again! “You let him suffer!” Quite the riot coming from the guy dishing out the suffering.

Ooh, is that...doubt...I saw in Hazel’s eyes? All this time I figured he was so tunnel visioned by his quest for vengeance that he simply didn’t care who he served, but it turns out he’s just following the same logic Roman and Lionheart did. We can’t stop her, so we may as well help her. I wonder if Hazel’s mind might be changed if he knew what the relics really did. Sadly, Salem knew what was up and said NOPE to that train of thought. For now.

I almost want to say it was a little too on the nose for them to flashback to Cinder getting shock collared as Salem hurt her through the Grimm arm, but for some reason it really worked here.

Dear god, can you get even more manipulative than what Salem’s doing right here? Talking about giving Cinder what she wants when it’s convenient for her RIGHT AFTER TORTURING HER!? Cinder really did trade out one abusive step-mother for another, didn’t she?

I’m sorry, Elm, did you just refer to Penny as broken junk? I’mma be honest, the list of Ace-Ops I’m hoping to see survive this is really starting to dwindle. At least Winter’s not having any of it.

Wow, Harriet. You just got informed that there is a massive river of Grimm heading straight for your kingdom, and your first move is to start the blame game. How were we ever fans of these assholes?

The river is now a geyser. What a fun day.

Wow, those defenses didn’t hold for shit, did they? Good thing there’s all those ships are there for extra defense. I’m sure they’ll be helping out any second now. Any...second...

I don’t know if the middle of farmland is the most courteous place to park your world destroying god whale, but at least it’s out of the way.

God, if this is the note they’re leaving us on for the penultimate episode before the hiatus, what the hell are they leaving us with next week? For once, I’m almost glad for the week-long wait in between episodes. We need time breathe at some point!

#rwby #rwby spoilers #rwby volume 8 #rwby thoughts and opinions #rooster teeth animation

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ts1989fanatic · 5 years

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TS7 is finally here!

If you’re like me or any of the millions of Swifties out there, the arrival of this next era is just as exciting as a brand-new bookshelf full of reads you get to experience for the first time.

After listening to the album on repeat all weekend, I decided to celebrate Lover with a book roundup inspired by each of the songs (since it’s the only thing I’ll be listening to for the foreseeable future, don’t @ me.).

ts1989fanatic an interesting perspective well written obviously a swiftie.

1. “I Forgot That You Existed” (Best Friends Forever, by Jennifer Weiner)

You heard it from Taylor first: indifference is the new vengeance. This solid album-opener is upbeat and poppy, a nice contrast with the lyrics about the (final?) end of a broken relationship, friendship (or feud), when you actually forget that the person you once had so much ire for still lives. She transitions from “Your name on my lips, tongue-tied/Free rent, living in my mind” to “forgot that you existed/and I thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t” with ease. But of course, insisting that you forget someone existed while singing about them would introduce interesting tension into any relationship. It reminded me of Jennifer Weiner’s Best Friends Forever, about what happens when a former friend shows up on your doorstep in a crisis, insisting you’re the only one who can help them out of a tight spot (when you’d rather do anything but).

2. “Cruel Summer” (Do You Want to Start a Scandal, by Tessa Dare)

Lyrically and sonically, this is one of my favorites on the entire album (it’s so good it should have been a single!) It’s got an Out of the Woods meets Getaway Car vibe in terms of the melody. Wistful, a bit haunting, but also a total bop. “So cut the headlights, summer’s a knife/I’m always waiting for you just to cut to the bone” describes a low point in Swift’s life (Summer 2016, ugh), juxtaposed with the high of discovering new love. There are so many books I could have picked for this, but “I don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you” reminded me of the Regency romance trope where the heroine has a secret, or finds herself in a situation where her reputation is at stake, but is still tempted by a handsome rogue who might lead her into temptation and true love. (Sound a bit familiar?) Do You Want to Start a Scandal by Tessa Dare feels like the perfect accompaniment to this song about a woman who must prove her innocence in the face of a sullied reputation or be forced to marry a man she doesn’t think she could ever love.

3. “Lover” (Roomies, by Christina Lauren)

The title track (and the one I’ve been singing in the shower for days) is a swoony daydream of a couple in complete harmony, as Swift spins wedding vow-like lyrics such as “With every guitar string scar on my hand/I take this magnetic force of a man to be my…lover/My heart’s been borrowed and yours has been blue/all’s well that end’s well to end up with you/swear to be overdramatic and true/to my…lover.” But Swift is all about balance in her songs, so imagery of keeping up the Christmas lights in “our place” is juxtaposed with suspicion that “everyone who sees you wants you.” This track reminded me of Roomies by Christina Lauren, with its musician main character and the trope of having to share a space while inevitably falling in love.

4. “The Man” (The Whisper Network, by Chandler Baker)

The double-standards between men and women have been explored in songs and novels since both art forms existed. Swift has already confronted the media’s perception of her as a victim, as a girl who goes on too many dates but can’t make them stay, etc. But in “The Man”, she more directly confronts how different she’d be treated if she were the opposite gender. How could I not think of the new thriller The Whisper Network, about a group of women who come forward about their male boss’ behavior of harassment in the workplace. Instead of continuing to suffer in silence, they tell the truth, resulting in an explosive conflict. I sort of saw the ending coming, but was very glad I was right.

5. “The Archer” (Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen)

Another slower, lyric-driven track on the album with gut-punching truths about love, friendship, and holding on to the one who has your heart. “The Archer” is associated with being a Sagittarius (which Swift is), but also her dynamic with the world. “Who could ever leave me, darling?/But who could stay?” is self-aware in a new way for Swift, as is “I never grew up, it’s getting so old” or “I see right through me.” This is one of my favorite tracks on the album, as Swift confronts her cultivated image as both archer and prey of fame and of love. Listening to the rising energy of the track as it builds to a anti-fairy-tale crescendo plus Swift’s lyrics made me think of Pride and Prejudice: Elizabeth Bennet is forced to acknowledge how her own prejudices have made it difficult for others to love her, but that she is deserving of an imperfect love. (And how could “All of my enemies started out friends” not remind you of awful Mr. Wickham?)

6. “I Think He Knows” (The Duke and I, by Julia Quinn)

After a slower song, this heats things up a bit, describing the early sizzle of a relationship before it even starts. For an entire album that sings the praises of a man, I liked the moment in the pre-chorus where she says “He’s so obsessed with me, and boy, I understand.” Own your worth, girl! The bridge was my favorite part of this song (as it often is with Swift; girl knows how to bridge) as it played with tempo and rhyme. “Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh/We can follow the sparks, I’ll drive.” Swift explores the tension of the moment between seeing someone and initiating contact—songs like these always sting with a bit of danger, too, because the man knows she wants him but neither of them say anything in public about it. She’s whispering in the dark, which gives me serious secret romance vibes. The Duke and I by Julia Quinn is about Simon, who is planning to propose to his BFF’s sister even though he doesn’t actually love her. It’s an arrangement that suits them both, but before they both know it, Daphne is giving Simon serious “I Think he Knows” vibes.

7. “Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince” (The Cheerleaders, by Kara Thomas)

If you don’t get the oft-spoken adage that “politics is like high-school,” this song takes the metaphor to the next level. Subtly political but 100% heartbreaking, Swift reimagines the political sphere (and her role in it) as a high school romance, moving from “American glory, faded before me,” painting the democratic 2016 election loss as a ripped-up prom dress (from Miss Americana, who assumed she would win.) Oozing drama and storytelling the way only Swift can, I love the moody elements of the brokenhearted girl contrasted with the new riff on a cheerleading chant (Go Fight Win!). This song is about mourning loss and then finding the strength to say “I know we’re going to win,” but it’s haunting melody and lyrics led me to pick a Cheerleader-inspired thriller. The Cheerleaders is about a string of cheerleaders murdered in a small town five years ago… and just when everyone thinks it’s time to move on, one girl becomes the center of a mystery that never truly died.

8. “Paper Rings” (The Royal We, by Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan)

I’m on my fourth listen of the album and this might be my favorite track on it (though that changes minute by minute, with an album as dynamic as this—just to further accentuate the point, by the time of posting this piece, my new favorite might be I Think He Knows?). It’s a totally retro, ’60s style song—a totally fresh sound for Swift, and one that fits perfectly with her new aesthetic. (Makes me wonder why this wasn’t one of the singles released before the record.) It is a gold-mine for Swiftian lyricism, with so many gems I can’t possibly call them all out, and it moves so fast (like a good read) that you both want to cascade over them and pause to hear each line at least 5x before it passes you by. It’s an unabashed love song, relishing in the joy of knowing you’re with the one you love so much that “I like shiny things, but I’d marry you with paper rings”. The line that stuck out the most was “I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this,” which made me think of when Bex Porter goes to Oxford in The Royal We and, completely by accident, falls in love with the heir to the throne.

9. “Cornelia Street” (Passion on Park Avenue, by Lauren Layne)

“Cornelia Street” is sort of the antithesis to I Think He knows. It’s about remembering the early days of a new relationship (“We were a fresh page on the desk/filling in the blanks as we go”) and being more than willing to give up all the good that comes with fresh starts in order to settle into something real. It aches with melancholy, because any time we give something up should be a little sad—but it brims with hope and Swift’s trademarked optimism about love. “I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends/I’d never walk Cornelia Street again/ That’s the kinda heartbreak time could never mend.” I had to pick an NYC-set story for this, like Lauren Layne’s Passion on Park Avenue. The city is another character in the romance between a successful jewelry-business owner and the son of the woman her mother used to work for.

10. “Death By a Thousand Cuts” (Please Don’t Go Before I Get Better, by Madisen Kuhn)

Inspired by the Netflix movie Something Great, this is one of the few sad songs on the record, about a girl going through a breakup who can’t help but linger in happier memories. (For the record: “I dress to kill my time” is genius, as are so many of these lyrics.) Only Swift is so good at pairing such devastating messaging with a pop beat you can’t help but want to sing. This song was the hardest one to pick a book for (especially because it’s already inspired by a movie) so I decided to go with a poetry collection! Please Don’t Go Before I Get Better is all about the aches and sun rays of growing up, told in a staggeringly relatable voice that will make you want to curl up on the couch and cry your eyes out.

11. “London Boy” (Red, White and Royal Blue, by Casey McQuiston)

This is 100% about Joe Alwyn, but also… Taylor dated at least two Brits that we know of before him, so this song is also about what we already knew (“the rumors are true”): she has a penchant for London Boys. Essentially a road map of her favorite places in the city, this indulgent ditty trades “Tennessee Whiskey” for “A gray sky, a rainy cab ride” and of course, her man by her side. Red, White, and Royal Blue is the perfect pick for this song, about two boys who fall in love (after a rough start where they were almost enemies) amidst those gray, rainy skies… but one of them happens to be the son of an American President, and the other, the current Prince of England.

12. “Soon You’ll Get Better (feat. Dixie Chicks)” (Swamplandia! by Karen Russell)

Of all the songs on the album, this one gave me the most vintage Swift vibes. There��s no denying that she is an astonishingly talented songwriter, especially when you listen to what is essentially her greatest fear laid bare on this track with just a bit of guitar and the Dixie Chicks harmonizing in the background. Here, the story shines: Swift’s mother has been sick for a number of years, and while they’ve mostly kept the details of that battle private, this is the most vulnerable moment of love for her mother on an album mostly about finding true love. “Holy orange bottles, each night I pray to you/Desperate people find faith, so now I pray to Jesus, too.” A friend of mine recently lost their mother just after getting married, and it made me marvel at how life often delivers us highs and lows to grapple with simultaneously. While all of this was going on—Kanye and Kim, Joe and London, another world tour, another album—in the background, Swift has been terrified of losing her mother. This song made me think of Swamplandia!, a novel about a young girl living in a gator-wrestling theme park where her mother used to be the main event, until she passed away. Now, in the wake of her death, the girl and her siblings must grapple with their mother’s legacy as a competing business rises up to swallow the success she built on the swamp.

13. “False God” (City of Girls, by Elizabeth Gilbert)

Is that a saxophone in the background of a Taylor Swift song? This slow, jazzy number is all about love and desire—and how we come back to it even when the world around us (and sometimes we, ourselves) put it in jeopardy. “And I can’t talk to you when you’re like this/Staring out the window like I’m not your favorite town/I’m New York City” and other lyrics referencing New York seem to be the grounding force in an otherwise tumultuous relationship. Multiple times on this record Swift has alluded to rough patches in her current happiness, but connection is always the solution to fixing it. She seems to say that if you treat your relationship like it’s your religion, you can get through anything. This is one of the sexier songs on the album, but it’s also got serious NYC vibes, so I’m picking City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert: a novel all about relishing romance in the glitzy 1940’s New York Theater scene, but also how desire can either set us on the road to ruin, or redemption.

14. “You Need to Calm Down” (The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, by Taylor Jenkins Reid)

This song has done what Swift does best: inspire conversation and a bit of controversy. Acknowledging that it was past time for her to be an outspoken ally for the LGBTQIAP+ community, YNTCD tackles the various ways communities are pitted against one another (especially on the internet.) The first verse examines her personal haters (“Say it in the street, that’s a knock-out/But you say it in a Tweet, that’s a cop-out), the second calls out homophobes (“Shade never made anybody less gay”), and the third examines how her relationships with her female contemporaries have often been antagonistic, something she herself has been responsible perpetuating in the past with songs like “Bad Blood” and “Better Than Revenge” (“We all know now, we all got crowns/you need to calm down.”) The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo is about a famous actress who hid the great female love of her life behind multiple male partners and uses her platform to tell the truth (all while hiding one last devastating secret). While Taylor herself has not come out as part of the LGBTQ community, she has come out as an ally, and this book made me think about the issues of privacy, platform, allyship, and identity that the song also confronts. If there’s more to the story of Swift’s relationship to the LGBTQIAP+ community, she’s going to share it on her own terms.

15.“Afterglow” (Queenie, by Candice Carty-Williams)

This song ranks high on my favorites from the album, and it’s a rare genre from Swift: the apology song. (The other famous one is Speak Now’s “Back to December.”) In this mid-tempo song with slamming drums and a breathy falsetto, Swift yearns for the partner she pushed away to meet her in the moments after the fight ends. “It’s all me, in my head/I’m the one who burned us down/ but it’s not what I meant,” she insists. There’s still hope here though, as opposed to earlier songs on the record that signal the doom of a friendship or a breakup after-the-fact. Queenie, by Candice Carty-Williams, is a novel about a girl coming to terms with her role in a failed relationship, a career she can’t seem to succeed in, and friends she unknowingly betrays. “Why’d I have to break what I love so much?” is a question asked in this song’s chorus, and one Queenie must answer in order to find real, lasting happiness.

16. “ME! (feat. Brendon Urie)” (Crazy Rich Asians, by Kevin Kwan)

This self-love anthem is bubblegum sweet and full of earworms: the “Shake it Off“ of the TS7 Era. It makes me think of lightning-fast beach reads that you can’t put down and that feel so good to read but also have a deeper meaning to them. Just because it’s not the most lyrically advanced of her songs doesn’t mean this bop doesn’t deserve to be celebrated— it reminded me of how romances constantly get a bad rep (lol, see what I did there?) as somehow lesser than other genres. I love that Taylor doesn’t care about what other people think and is 100% focused on being her authentic self— just like the heroine of Crazy Rich Asians, Rachel Chu. When confronted with the wealth and expectations of her boyfriend Nick’s family (who don’t think she’s good enough for him), she insists it’s her individuality that makes her the perfect partner for him.

17. “It’s Nice to Have a Friend” (This Love Story Will Self-Destruct, by Leslie Cohen)

This track might be my second favorite? It’s so different (Ukulele? Trombone? Is that what I’m hearing?) and such a contrast to the beginning of the album, the opener closes the door on a once meaningful friendship. It’s also a deceiving song, in that I’m still not 100% sure what it’s about. I think Swift is exploring the importance of friendship in all its forms: in childhood (“School bell rings, walk me home”) to adolescence “Something gave you the nerve/to touch my hand”) to romantic love (“Church bells ring, carry me home/rice on the ground looks like snow”). Ultimately, she may be saying that the most important thing about a romantic partner is that they make you feel like you have a friend—when you’re young, the thing that matters most is feeling seen by other people. If your lover is also your best friend, then you know they always have your back. A love story that takes place over two characters’ twenties, This Love Story Will Self-Destruct is about the missteps, betrayals, beautiful moments and connection that forms between two people over a decade.

18. “Daylight” (Evvie Drake Starts Over, by Linda Holmes)

“My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in.” What a way to begin this album closer. Swift’s last tracks have a tradition of being the ones that are most emblematic of her current state of mind, but they also have developed certain themes over time. Renewal, starting over, self-reflection, and hope are all subjects “Daylight” sheds a little light on. She acknowledges past failings (“I wounded the good and trusted the wicked”) and what she wants for the future (“I once believed love would be [burning red]/but it’s golden”). A book that feels like daylight on your skin is what’s needed for this song, and I think Evvie Drake Starts Over is the perfect pick: a story about a woman still grieving the loss of her husband but who finds herself moving on with a former major league baseball player. Both of them have pasts they are healing from, but together, they find hope for the future. “I’ve been sleeping so long in a twenty-year dark night/and now I see daylight.” And, unlike (I think?) any other song in her catalogue, she speaks in the end, not sings, in a direct appeal to her audience. Her very last words are “You are what you love.” Well, I love Taylor Swift. I love a good song lyric to sink my teeth into, or to sing. I love love. And I love a good story, whether it comes from a song or a book, and when you’re done with the album, I hope you find some here.

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the-light-followed · 5 years

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EQUAL RITES (1987) [DISC. #3; WITCHES #1]

“‘Where does it say it?’ said Granny triumphantly. ‘Where does it say women can’t be wizards?’

The following thoughts sped through Cutangle’s mind:

…It doesn’t say it anywhere, it says it everywhere.

…But young Simon seemed to say that everywhere is so much like nowhere that you can’t really tell the difference.

…Do I want to be remembered as the first Archchancellor to allow women into the University? Still…I’d be remembered, that’s for sure.”

Rating: 6/10

Standalone Okay: Yes

Read First: Yeah, if you like magic and bad puns, you’ll be fine.

Discworld Books Masterpost: [x]

* * * * * * * * * *

Equal Rites does not mess around. It’s early Discworld, so you’ve still got a little bit of that High Fantasy vibe to it, where sometimes Pratchett just spews fantastical-sounding terms and concepts so that the reader can’t forget that This is Fantasy, We Are Not in Kansas Anymore, Folks! And to be perfectly honest, a lot of the plot, especially the early stuff, is kind of forgettable. There’s a lot of people talking to people about doing stuff before the actual doing gets done, if you know what I mean.

But that doesn’t really matter, because Equal Rites has important shit to say and, by god, Pratchett is going to say it. And in case you didn’t bother to read the book itself, you can tell just by looking at the title that a) it’s about gender inequality in the magical community, and b) there’s going to be puns. So many puns. Sir Terry, please, take pity on me. I just don’t have the time to go around explaining to every person I meet on the street why this kind of thing makes me absolutely batshit feral for the Discworld.

I love it so much.

Anyway. Equal Rites is the story of Eskarina Smith, or Esk, the first ever female to be born a wizard. The whole concept of ‘the eighth son of an eighth son is chosen by the magical staff of a dying wizard to become a new wizard’ brings up a lot of questions for me—a lot of questions that will never be answered—but if I ignore that and just accept that it’s true, then by Discworld tradition Esk is undeniably a wizard. She is the eighth, uh, child of an eighth son, chosen at birth by the magical staff of a wizard who promptly dies and decides to be reincarnated as a weirdly randy tree and then, later, as an ant.

…Cool, I guess.

More importantly, and also by Discworld tradition, Esk undeniably cannot be a wizard, because she’s born female. Honestly, Pratchett might as well have named this Sit Down and Shut Up While I Talk About Gender Roles and Gender Inequality, You All Are Going to Listen to Me Because I’m Going to Make Bad Puns While I Do It.

Over the course of the book, Pratchett does some deep dives into what it means to be a witch, what it means to be a wizard, how they’re the same, how they’re different—and why none of that actually matters. For something published over thirty years ago, I think Equal Rites holds up incredibly well as a conversation on gender and society, and it’s still just as relevant as ever. It just goes to show that a) writing with thought, kindness, and care makes for a timeless product, and b) society really hasn’t made that much progress since 1987, has it? It’s a little sad that the issues Pratchett wants us to think about here are still just as recognizable and just as common in the world as they were thirty-three years ago.

(Kind of as a side note, there are definitely things I don’t think Pratchett considered about the basic premise he’s set up, namely that just because Esk was born with a certain set of genitals, it doesn’t necessarily mean anything about her gender. I’ve seen a lot of discussion, especially on the internet, about trans Esk, and trans wizards and witches, and what that would mean for the Discworld universe—really interesting stuff, things people should definitely look into, but not what I’m going to focus on here. I would highly recommend that people think about it, especially cis people like me. It would be wrong to go through Equal Rites without even bringing it up, even if I read the text as more as a discussion of gender roles rather than gender identity. Since Pratchett was a cishet man writing this in the 80s, I’m also willing to bet it’s what he was intending. But it’s still an important conversation to have.)

Anyway, let’s jump in and look at the dichotomy that Pratchett is setting up for us!

What is a witch? What is a wizard? How are they the same, and how are they different? Why does that split matter?

I did the messy work of going through my copy of the book and highlighting every instance where definitions are provided for ‘witches’ and ‘wizards,’ specifically so that I could run a compare-contrast, and I want to point out right off the bat that basically all of the details on so-called ‘defining’ features of these two schools of magic are provided through characters and their POV—direct dialogue and thoughts—not by word-of-god narration or omniscient POV. So, obviously, we have to run all this through the internal bias filter; this stuff is all what people believe about wizards, witches, and magic, not necessarily how things are.

What makes a witch, according to Equal Rites:

Magic out of the ground

Dress in black to look the part

Witches bow. They’ve got to be different from everyone else; it’s “part of the secret” (headology)

Cunning, old (or they try to look it)

Suspicious, homely, and organic magic

Appearance of magic can do more work than actual magic (headology)

“Leaving the world as it was and changing the people”

They can “Borrow” and work gently

“Fighting her [Granny] was like swatting a fly on your own nose”: if you don’t struggle and make waves, you can do a lot with less outright power

Do the messy, practical stuff, not just the flash

Always, “without exception, women”

What makes a wizard:

Magic out of the sky

Over-the-top ways of dressing up to look the part, often with robes and sequins

“Books and stars and jommetry.” (Granny absolutely does not know what geometry is, or what it is for.)

“Talked too much and pinned spells down in books like butterflies,” and looked at “numbers and angles and edges and what the stars are doing”

Wise, old

Powerful, complex, and mysterious magics

Magic is condensed out of the air and into the staff, and used by the wizard

“Magic changed the world in some way, wizards thought there was no other use for it”

Can’t “Borrow,” only take/seize control

Too busy with the “infinite” and “never noticing the definite”

Always, “without exception, men”

Witches “normally work with what actually exists in the world,” while a wizard can give thoughts shape, “put flesh on his imagination.” Witches learn to walk softly and move over and around an obstacle, while wizards puff up and fight to go straight through it.

Witches “need a head.” Wizards “need…a heart.”

In short, witches are self-taught, intuitive, grounded in reality, and fluid in their magic use—when they actually use it at all. They work with what they feel and what they know about the world. Wizards are academics and learn from set rules and their books, and their magic is often over-complex, overpowered, and difficult to control. Wizards are more rigid and structured in their magic use—ritualistic, even—but less connected to reality or grounded in the real world.

And, of course, both groups wear fabulous outfits and dramatic pointed hats!

Just look at ‘em. Such wonderful weirdos.

The more I look at the ‘definitions’ like this, all laid out and proper, the more I start to think that the witches who do things we would consider ‘bad’ witchcraft are just correctly using elements of wizardry. For example, think about Mrs. Earwig, with her books and rituals, her special tools and fancy dress code; even though she doesn’t focus on the world around her or the people in it, the way a ‘good’ witch would, she’s good at what she does, and so certain in herself that she can stare down the glamor of the Queen of the Elves without flinching in The Shepherd’s Crown. On the other hand, we have our classic ‘bad’ wizard, Rincewind, who demonstrates some exceptionally witchy tendencies—he’s excellent at headology even if actual magic isn’t really in his wheelhouse, as Interesting Times makes pretty obvious. And despite the fact that he’s a coward-sprinter who’d really rather avoid danger if at all possible, when it comes down to it, he’s still the man who’ll put himself between the world and a great evil with nothing but trembling knees, a spine reluctantly turned from water to iron, and a half-brick in a sock. As Granny would say, he walks the line.

So, really, what does gender actually have to do with it? Why is there a distinction at all? Is it actually important?

And to make a long novel short, what Pratchett is saying in Equal Rites is that it’s not. There’s no difference between witchcraft and wizardry that actually makes for a good reason for a gendered split. Men aren’t inherently better at math and academia, or as Granny says, “jommetry;” women aren’t inherently more practical, emotional, or intuitive. That’s a social construct, not a biological one.

And beyond that, even, there’s no real reason for the two ‘types’ of magic to be split up at all. They might be different ways of operating, but it’s all magic. Anyone could do either. Or neither. Or both.

There’s an early conversation between Death and the wizard whose mix-up with his staff marked Esk as a wizard—just after the man has died, when he’s realized that he’s passed his magic along to a female and, in his mind, made a terrible mistake. “I was foolish,” he says, “I assumed the magic would know what it was doing.” But instead of agreeing, Death tells him, “PERHAPS IT DOES.”

It all comes down to what Esk calls magic beyond magic—the reality of the thing beyond the concepts we’ve created to define and confine it. If we’ve invented these distinctions between ‘types’ of magic, between ‘types’ of gender and the self, then what remains once we’ve removed them? What happens when we peel them away and see what’s left behind? Why do we cling to our invented categories, the things that limit both sides and create conflict?

I really like that Equal Rites never puts Esk into a specific category. She doesn’t end the book as a ‘true’ wizard or a ‘true’ witch, but she also doesn’t fully reject either. As sad as I am that Pratchett never goes much deeper into Esk (her brief appearance in I Shall Wear Midnight doesn’t actually explain much), I’m fine with not having a concrete answer. One, the other, both, neither—it’s not the point. Magic is magic. People are people. Gender is, honestly, irrelevant. Beyond the academic divides we’ve made for ourselves, it’s all the same stuff given different names. Esk does magic, and she is herself, and in the end, she’s not bound by the limitations that witches and wizards put on their reality.

Infinite possibilities!

It’s something the other wizards and witches never get to have. They’re so locked into what they believe magic to be, what they believe themselves to be, that they never really look outside those boxes.

It’s wild to me that the concept Pratchett is introducing here—specifically about wizards and witches and gender—basically disappears as long as Esk does. Esk is a really cool character; the idea of female wizards and male witches is fascinating. I want more of all this. So, I’m genuinely sad that Esk doesn’t reappear again until the Tiffany Aching books, specifically I Shall Wear Midnight—in 2010, more than twenty years after Equal Rites was published. And we don’t get another wizard or witch or magic-user in general working outside their typical gender alignment until Geoffrey appears in 2015 in The Shepherd’s Crown and asks to become a witch, and even then, the witches take to calling him a ‘calm-weaver’ instead.

I like that the idea eventually comes full circle. I don’t like that the circle takes thirty years, and goes basically unacknowledged in the meantime.

But the point Pratchett is making is still there in the Discworld, and it never really goes away. Remember how I said earlier that this stuff—all this ‘witches do and are x, wizards do and are y, that’s how it has to be’ nonsense—it’s all what people believe about magic and such, not how things are? Pratchett and Discworld are huge on belief. Belief shapes reality, belief becomes real, and we see that over and over again. But part of what Pratchett is saying here is that even if we all believe in something, then it doesn’t mean that it’s right. Just because something is doesn’t mean it should be.

More importantly, though, it also doesn’t mean we’ve locked ourselves in place. Esk proves that much. We learn. We grow. We change our understanding of our reality and ourselves, and we believe something different. And then the world changes, too.

* * * * * * * * * *

Side Notes:

We get to see Granny Weatherwax for the first time! She’s absolutely fabulous and I love this sharp-tongued bitter old lady so much. In later books starring the witches we will focus in a lot more on Granny herself as a witch and a person, rather than just as a teacher.

Granny Weatherwax is said to live in the village of Bad Ass in Equal Rites. In future books, she will live in Lancre.

There actually aren’t that many footnotes in this one. Since I kind of just…expect footnotes to appear in every book Terry Pratchett touches, despite the fact that they’re super rare everywhere else, it’s almost weirder to not see a footnote every page and a half.

Esk does some magical nonsense—mainly by not realizing the magic she’s doing should be impossible—that ends up “changing the Discworld in thousands of tiny ways.” This is probably part of Pratchett’s attempt to slowly shift what he started establishing in The Colour of Magic to what we’ll see in later Discworld books, moving from High Fantasy to more of a, I don’t know, steampunk-y magical surrealism? What even is the Discworld, I ask you? It’s impossible to describe. But what Esk does to it here is described as follows: “the wavefront of probability struck the edge of Reality and rebounded like the slosh off the side of the pond which, meeting the laggard ripples coming the other way, caused small but important whirlpools in the very fabric of existence. You can have whirlpools in the fabric of existence, because it is a very strange fabric.”

We get our first mention of sourcerers here in Equal Rites, but they’re not very well defined. We’re just told that they’re now extinct. They’ll turn up in a lot more detail in a couple books, of course, once we get to Sourcery.

Favorite Quotes:

“I know what I mean, she told herself. Magic’s easy, you just find the place where everything is balanced and push. Anyone could do it. There’s nothing magical about it. All the funny words and waving the hands is just…it’s only for… She stopped, surprised at herself. She knew what she meant. The idea was right up there in the front of her mind. But she didn’t know how to say it in words, even to herself.”

“‘But,’ he said, ‘if it’s wizard magic she’s got, learning witchery won’t be any good, will it? You said they’re different.’ ‘They’re both magic. If you can’t learn to ride an elephant, you can at least ride a horse.’”

“The old witch yanked the staff out of its shadow and waved it vaguely at Esk. ‘Here. It’s yours. Take it. I just hope this is the right thing to do.’ In fact the presentation of a staff to an apprentice wizard is usually a very impressive ceremony, especially if the staff has been inherited from an elder mage; by ancient lore there is a long and frightening ordeal involving masks and hoods and swords and fearful oaths about people’s tongues being cut out and their entrails torn by wild birds and their ashes scattered to the eight winds and so on. After some hours of this sort of thing the apprentice can be admitted to the brotherhood of the Wise and Enlightened. There is also a long speech. By sheer coincidence Granny got the essence of it in a nutshell.”

“‘Never mind what I said, or common sense or anything. Sometimes you just have to go the way things take you, and I reckon you’re going to wizard school one way or the other.’ Esk considered this. ‘You mean it’s my destiny?’ she said at last. Granny shrugged. ‘Something like that. Probably. Who knows?’”

“Animal minds are simple, and therefore sharp. Animals never spend time dividing experience into little bits and speculating about all the bits they’ve missed. The whole panoply of the universe has been neatly expressed to them as things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.”

“‘Why are you holding that broomstick?’ he said. Esk looked at it as though she had never seen it before. ‘Everything’s got to be somewhere,’ she said.”

“Why was it that, when she heard Granny ramble on about witchcraft she longed for the cutting magic of wizardry, but whenever she heard Treatle speak in his high-pitched voice she would fight to the death for witchcraft? She’d be both, or none at all. And the more they intended to stop her, the more she wanted it. She’d be a witch and a wizard too. And she would show them.”

“‘Million-to-one chances,’ she said, ‘crop up nine times out of ten.’”

“For a moment he nursed the strangely consoling feeling that his life was totally beyond his control and whatever happened no one could blame him.”

#discworld #equal rites #witches #esk #granny weatherwax

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rational-mastermind · 5 years

Text

It Doesn’t Hurt

Ch 1/5

Hurt/Comfort. A Trilbhan (Trilby x Siobhan) fanfic taking place after Trilby’s Notes. Warnings of suicidal thoughts and depression (in later chapters) and blood. But I mean.. If you’re into this series you’re sure as fuck not squeamish.

It's been a few months since the Clanbronwyn Hotel incident. The events that took place there still haunts me to this day and my reputation around the Ministry of Occultism hadn't gotten any better, now that I'm responsible for the permanent decommissioning of two agents, Andrew Jarvis and Lenkmann. Granted, most forgave the latter, as he not only threatened my life but was a part of an insane cult named The Blessed Agonies. But AJ…

Ever since my first day I was referred to as "the one who killed AJ". As if it wasn't bad enough bearing the responsibility of killing the man to begin with. As well as bearing the responsibility of three other deaths, Philip Harty, Simone Taylor, and Abed Chahal.

A week or two after the Hotel Incident, I attended Dr. Chahal's funeral. At a distance, mind you. Somehow knowing why they couldn't find his body and making it a closed casket ceremony made me feel worse, but at least I could properly, discreetly, pay my respects to the man.

However, seeing his family come to the casket to say their good-byes, forced me to leave. I suppose that's what people call guilt. I was walking out of the building when a familiar voice called out.

"Terry Railby?"

I couldn't tell if my initial feeling was one of surprise for being recognized or dread as I, in turn, recognized who it was. I turned around only to find Siobhan O’Malley standing by the doors, looking a little shocked herself. I should've figured she was here, being the late professor's assistant. Still, I was foolish to hope I wouldn't run into someone who would recognize me, let alone know me by the more common alias, Trilby.

"Siobhan..." I started, unable to mask my surprise.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, rightfully perplexed.

"Just came to pay my last respect." I said giving a nod to the funeral house behind us. "The least I could do."

She nodded sadly and folded her arms around her.

"Same. But… Well I mean.. ", she started to say before smiling back at me. "It's good to see you again."

"And you as well." I smiled back politely.

"I was kinda hoping you would show up." She stepped a little closer. "I don't think I thanked ya properly for rescuing me."

I gave a modest shrug.

"All in a day's work." I stated, cringing inwardly from how cheesy that sounded.

"No really." She insisted. "If it weren't for you, it'd be my family in there. At least lemme buy you a drink, as a proper thanks."

I nodded back to the funeral.

"Wouldn't you rather say your proper good-bye with everyone else?"

"Nah. I actually hate funerals. It's like church, but more depressing." Siobhan explained, looking at the ground in thought. "I paid my respects and don't get me wrong, I do miss him but… Well. I know he's not in there. Saying goodbye to an empty casket isn't gonna do me much good is it?"

She looked back at me sadly. I knew we were both thinking the same thing. We had both seen what really happened to Abed.

"So come on. Lemme thank ya for saving me from a worse fate, and we'll say a real good-bye instead."

I don't know what possessed me to agree, but in about 15 minutes, I found myself sitting in a corner booth of a small cafe with Siobhan and a couple of drinks.

"Here's to a good man." Siobhan tucked away the small flask she used to "fix" her drink, and raised the cup in a small cheers.

I returned the gesture and we drank.

"I didn't know you drank." I mentioned.

"Terry, I am Irish. Of course I do." she chuckled before adding. "Only on occasions."

I nodded and dropped it. We sat in silence for a while before I decided I should ask the obvious question.

"So… do you want to talk about Abed?"

Siobhan sighed a little and shrugged.

"What can I say?" She asked and looked absent mindedly at her drink. "He was nice. A good professor. Passionate about his work. A nice man overall. I mean.. don't get me wrong, it always hurts to know someone's dead. But well… it's life, isn't it?"

“That's a very mature way of looking at it." I agreed.

"Well.. Thanks." She smiled a little, albeit sadly. "Personally I don't think anyone should mourn the dead for too long. It's bound to happen, and it makes life a little brighter to know they were a part of yours. I did. Back at the hotel. But then that was it. Time to move on."

"Hmm. And where are you moving on to?"

"Well I finished college last year. I'm planning on opening up an antique shop here in about a month." Siobhan perked up a bit.

“Well that’s nice to hear.” I smiled more comfortably. “So soon?”

“Well I've been planning this for a while now." She explained. "It's just now been coming together. And I've already got a decent amount of stock set in storage to get started on."

"Very smart. Sounds like you have a good head for business."

She grinned a little.

"About the only thing I'd be concerned about is if any cat burglars broke in overnight."

"Hmm. And why would they?" I asked, playing along. "I'd assume anything worthwhile would've already walked out the door."

Siobhan laughed a little, blushing, and finally dropped the charade.

"If you mean me, I'm actually going to live in the building. Right above the shop actually."

"Ah I see." I nodded with understanding, but couldn't resist teasing further. "So there WOULD be a reason for some, tall, dark, handsome, mysterious-"

"Oh crap Terry!", Siobhan laughed.

"-sophisticated and impressively dressed gentleman thief to break in"

Siobhan was trying hard to keep her laughter quiet but it was obviously a strain. Her face started to flush as tears swelled. The reaction caused me to laugh along, equally quiet and strained. It was nice. This frivolous moment of peace. I couldn't remember the last time I laughed like this. It felt good. It felt like such a relief to laugh. I supposed this is what Claire meant by getting a "good vibe" from someone.

And that was when it dawned on me.

Oh no.

Claire.

Work.

SHIT.

I quickly checked my watch and mentally cursed.

"What's wrong?", Siobhan asked, noticing the sudden shift in behavior.

"I have somewhere I need to be." I stood up and left a bill for the drinks. "Sorry for leaving so suddenly. It was nice seeing you again."

"Oh! Um, yeah. It's great to see you!" She said giving a small wave good-bye.

I hurried out the door. I had just caught myself in time and barely made it back before someone missed me.

I came into the office and sat down at my desk with a sigh. Just in time. I clocked back in from my computer. Claire, sitting right across from me as usual, looked up from her desk with a smile.

"So…? Where were you? Missed you at lunch."

"Had something to attend to."

"Personal? Or is it a girl?"

"Wouldn't a girl be personal?" I frowned, quizzically and glanced back at her.

"You'd be surprised how casual people really are about their love life Trilbs." She rolled her eyes, though still smiled. "It's called socializing."

"Well I'm not entirely one for doing such, to start with, and secondly, don't call me Trilbs. A nickname of a nickname is ridiculous."

"Oh fine. You're no fun today." She shook her head and went back to work.

Any thoughts I did want to have about Siobhan went right out the window. The last thing I needed was office-stereotype-like Claire gossiping my thoughts to the entire department.

The rest of the day was as normal as it could be and I hadn’t seen Siobhan again for the rest of the month. August passed with almost nothing noteworthy, aside from the occasional ghosts I had to banish and demon slayers I’ve met while working. Then one day, I came into the break room.

I had been dealing with a woman on the phone who claimed to have seen her dead mother come back to nag her and she wasn’t willing to listen to reasoning. I wasn’t really needing the coffee, though I poured myself a cup regardless. Just needed an excuse more than anything to get away from the griping.

“Hey Trilby.” one of my co-workers, I believe his name was Darren, came up to me.

“Good afternoon.”, I greeted, not turning to face him until after I made my cup.

“Kill anyone lately?”

My heart stuttered and I looked back to find Lenkmann staring me down, inches from my face. A sudden sharp pain welled up in my abdomen. I screamed in pain and looked down to find blood dripping off my hands.

It hurts

Everything was growing dark. There was a scream and I looked up only to find a dead Philip Harty, sprawled out on the dining room table. Simone and Jim were running away into the house.

It hurts

I had to chase them down. I had to kill them. I wanted them to suffer. Just like I did.

It hurts

I looked down at the floor to find Abed. His porcelain face looked back at me, trying to mouth words but I could only barely understand.

It hurts

Pain coursed through every vein of my body and I knew the name of the King.

IT HURTS

I was running through the hotel, trying to escape. Sharp, hot, agonizing pain scorched my nerves. The smell of death and blood was everywhere. The darkness around me was growing. I tried to reach out. Siobhan caught my hand. I grabbed her throat and snapped it.

IT HURTS

I ran until I tripped on something and fell. Into nothing.

Into darkness.

Eternity.

On the floor.

With a gasp of fresh cold air, I woke up on the floor of my apartment, just off my bed. My head hurt with a sharp pain. I likely fell on it first. I quickly checked my body only to find no blood. Just the scar from where I had been stabbed. I sighed. There was a phantom pain there, but it was fading. Why was I? Oh.. Right. The nightmare.

A pit in my stomach grew. Having a stressful nightmare wasn’t unheard of. You don’t just accept murdering two people under possession and nearly dying. But the last time I had such a vivid dream like that was when…

“Oh no…” I felt like everything in me suddenly grew cold. “Oh God no. PLEASE NO.”

I scrambled to look around my apartment for something.

It wasn’t there. It wasn’t anywhere.

I hurried to get dressed and ran out the door. Praying I was mistaken.

I got to the office and came rushing to my desk

“Trilby? You okay?” Claire asked as I ravaged my drawers, searching frantically.

“Where is it? Oh crap, WHERE IS IT?!”

“Trilby, calm down! What are you looking for??”

“Where the hell is that letter?!”

“What letter??”

I slammed my hand on the desk, too flustered and frustrated to listen to her.

“THE DAMN LETTER FROM NASA, CLAIRE. DID THEY SEND THAT ABOMINATION OUT OR NOT??”

“That idol? From Defoe?? Yeah, they- Oh, Trilby, calm down they did!”

She came over and laid a hand on my shoulder. My frantic paranoia was wavering, swaying as she tried to calm me down.

“Trilby, Trilby, they sent it out.”

I looked back, still scared.

“They did?”

“Yeah, it launched a couple of weeks ago. You got a letter.”

I started to calm down. I could feel waves of nostalgia and serenity from Claire as she tried to help.

“They did.. Okay.. O.. okay..” I placed my head in my hands, rubbing away the bags under my eyes. “Holy.. Alright. It was just stress…”

“Doing better?”

“Y...yes? No?”

“Right now?”

“....Yes. Yes, I’ll be okay.” I sighed. My paranoia and stress melting away. Being replaced with a settled, calm, hollow feeling. Like the still peacefulness of the dark. “I’m… better. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. We all have those days.” Claire reassured me. “So, what happened?”

“Just another nightmare… I thought.. I was worried that…”, I couldn’t find the words.

Blurry images of the nightmare flashed through my mind. Growing more distant.

“You thought you killed someone again?”

“Y...yeah.” I sighed. “I thought.. The idol…”

“It was shipped out.. It can’t hurt anyone.”

“And you’re sure the box wasn’t opened?” “I doubt they would’ve opened it.”

I sighed with relief.

“Okay.. Alright.”

Claire sat down at her desk. I noticed a piece of paper sitting under my monitor and pulled it out, only to find it was, indeed, the letter from NASA. The idol was shipped out. No one had opened the box. I started to ease up. It was okay. Siobhan wasn’t going to be killed. Everything’s alright.

“Trilby.” one of my higher ups, a short, stocky man with thick round glasses, came and sat a folder down at my desk. I believe his name was Richard. “I’ve got a case for you. Mysterious deaths happening at the same locale. The only person people could have in suspicion, doesn’t add up. Especially cause she phoned in the deaths herself in hysterics, and no one’s that great an actor.”

“Alright. I’ll uh, take a look at that.” I said, starting up my computer. “Thank you.”

“We want you to take someone with you. It looks dangerous.”

“Very well.”

He left and I looked over the folder. Mysterious deaths happening at an antique store named Rusty Pot o’ Gold. I looked up at Claire. I usually like to go with Chris Quinn, but something told me I was going to need her help in this. Someone who would be a bit more… serious than Chris.

“Would you like to come, Claire?”

She looked back, a little surprised, but smiled sincerely.

“Yeah. Why not?”

A small drive later, and we arrived at the antique store. The first thing I noticed about it was how new it seemed. I was reminded of Siobhan for a moment.

For a moment… I was reminded of that nightmare.

I shook my head, trying to clear it. Nothing like that was going to happen. There are about a dozen antique shops, this side of town. What was one more? No one said this had to be Siobhan’s.

We walked in, past the police tape and glanced about us. There were dozens of shelves, display cases, and boxes of worn antiques. Everything from hats to farming equipment was found here. Everything was full, cramped, and kind of messy. Admittedly, the owner made it feel homey. The various chandeliers, lamps, and torches, all lit and warming the place while the rugs and strange antiquated china dolls and figurines made it feel almost lived in. I was reminded, for a moment, of visiting my own grandmother’s for the holiday. I would say the shop felt cozy, if it weren’t for the obvious, damp, chill that hung in the air. A first sign of possible specters.

We started to look around, hoping to find something unusual, or out of place. Something the magenta in our pockets would react to, though they carried a generalized warmth and a healthy glow regardless. But we didn’t get far before my previous concerns came true and Siobhan’s voice called from the back of the store.

“Are you with the police? Be right with you!”

“Oh no…”, I grimaced.

“What?” Claire looked at me curiously.

“I know her.” I said in a low voice.

“Ex?”

“What? No!” I rolled my eyes. “It’s Siobhan O’Malley. From the Clan Bronwyn Hotel.”

“Oh! Ohhh.” Claire grimaced as well. “Oooh..”

“I’ve got this.”

“Aw, man. I came up with names and everything!”

“Well I’ll still introduce you as your alias.”

Claire beamed and handed me the slip of paper. I took a glance at it, frowned in disgust and handed it back.

“And you lost your alias privileges.”

“Aww! Why?”

“That’s far too crass for me to say.”

“Gosh you’re boring.”

I shook my head and came up to the counter.

“Siobhan?” I called out. “It’s me, Trilby.”

“Trilby?! Come in! What are you doing here??”

I walked in, past the counter to find a hallway leading to a small office space. Siobhan greeted me at the doorway with a smile.

“Hello, Siobhan.” I smiled back.

“I certainly didn’t expect this! What…” suddenly her face fell as the pieces began to connect. “Oh.. Wait.. What are you doing here?? Unless...”

“Yes, I’m here about the deaths.” I said, growing serious. “I’ve reason to believe it’s paranormal.”

“Into the ghost hunting business now, are we?” she looked at me with reasonable disbelief.

“Well.. actually, more or less.” I shook my head. “Believe me, not by intention. Just something I’ve… fallen into.”

“Oh, really?”

“Ludicrous, but it’s a living.”

“Hey, Trilby?” Claire called from the other room. “There’s something going on out here!”

We head back out into the shop. Claire stood up from where she was, piece of magenta in hand.

“So.. Who’s your friend?” Siobhan asked.

“She’s my co-worker, Claire.” I explained.

“Hi! You must be Siobhan.” Claire beamed and shook her hand. Always the friendly extrovert.

“Nice to meet you.” Siobhan smiled, though it seemed out of sheer politeness.

“So what’s wrong?” I asked.

“Look at this.”

Claire held up the magenta to the ceiling as high as she can. It began to grow dim. She then brought it low to the floor and it burned brighter.

“Hm. Siobhan, there wouldn’t happen to be a basement, would there?”

“Um. Yeah, actually.” She headed to a door in the back of the store.

“Any extra information on this place, while you’re at it?” we followed her down the stairs.

“Well there used to be a prison here.” Siobhan began to explain.

I immediately grimaced. Prisons are just one of those things I’ll never fully appreciate, given my life choices. I felt uneasy standing in the old grounds of one.

“Ooh. That makes sense!” Claire chimed in. “A lot of things could’ve happened in one of those.”

“Actually the history is kinda scarce, but interesting.” Siobhan began, immediately falling into a sense of careful study and quiet enthusiasm. She almost sounded like a tour guide, if the subject were anything else. “The jailhouse was originally erected in 1602. The plot of land for it was actually a lot larger than the current store, starting from the sidewalk from one end of the block to another, but it was bulldozed down and divided by 1718. What we’ll find down here is some of the original brick foundation and layout of the previous jailhouse.”

“That’s um.. Comforting.” I commented.

We came out into a large, brick and cobblestone basement. Some old cells were polished up and filled with various cardboard boxes and crates.

“Well it kinda gets worse.” Siobhan continued. “Apparently this basement was specifically used for… well.. Death Row.”

An icy chill went down my spine and it wasn’t just because we were literally in the coldest room. Looking around at the iron bars, I could only imagine what it must’ve been like. Convicts simply waiting here in the musty, damp, dark, wondering when their time was going to be up. Likely a few wrongly accused. The pit in my stomach grew worse.

“Of course it was…” I muttered, recognizing that I could now see my breath, but only barely.

“Hm. That could be a good lead.” Claire noted.

“Possibly.” Siobhan shrugged. “There was a few rumors surrounding the place about police brutality. A few convicts were found dead before their due date. The prison was shut down after that.”

“So we’re looking at the possibility that several upset ghosts are still haunting, after being killed prematurely in their previous life?” I questioned, looking back at Claire and Siobhan.

“But if it’s just a mindless ghost… Then why hasn’t it killed Siobhan? Or….us?” Claire asked.

“Good question.” I pondered and turned to Siobhan. “Any similarities to the previous deaths?”

“Aside that they all broke in, looking to steal stuff? Um.. No. Old, young, short, tall, man, woman.” Siobhan sighed a little. “They were all different.”

There was a moment to think before Claire spoke up again.

“...Maybe the ghosts have something against thieves?”

“Wouldn’t that be kind of against the phrase, ‘thick as thieves’?” Siobhan grinned a little.

Siobhan and Claire both looked at me curiously. I rolled my eyes, but couldn’t help a small smile.

“I find that to be somewhat of an offensive phrase.” I clarified. “I preferred to work alone.”

“Hm.. Alone, you say?” Siobhan nodded towards Claire.

Claire laughed a little.

“I tagged along. Otherwise, yeah, he would’ve probably worked alone.”

I shrugged modestly and returned to the task at hand.

“There’s no guarantee that it’s multiples, either. We’d just need at least one to stay and become a ghost.”

“Would it be alright if I poked around, Siobhan?” Claire asked. “Maybe I can find some piece of the corpse or an artifact he’s attached to.”

“Oh, yeah, help yourself.” Siobhan offered politely.

“Actually, while you’re doing that, I might as well try to find more information myself.” I sighed. “Do you have a computer I can borrow?”

“Yeah, in the office.” Siobhan nodded to the stairs and smiled. “I’ll show you.”

We headed back up into the office. Siobhan sat at the desk and began to start the dial-up internet.

“So, be honest. What does one have to do to become a Ghost-buster?” she asked, with a playful grin.

I rolled my eyes. That reference has been made around the office several times, and even though I’ve yet to see the actual movie myself, I still know so much of it, picking it up in passing conversation.

“Well you don’t have to wear a ridiculous jumpsuit.” I started to explain, earning a giggle from the other. “Secondly, I don’t think you’d want me for a reference on the job interview. It um.. Wasn’t exactly the best.”

“Oh.. Really? Is it all that bad?”

“Mine was at least. I hear it’s different for everyone. Besides, it’s a boring desk job most of the time.” I shrugged. “Half the time chasing down the paranormal isn’t even as thrilling as movies make it out to be.”

“Oh, it can’t be all that terrible.” Siobhan grinned, obviously still trying to hold onto some silly romantic idea she had of the whole thing. “I’m sure it must be a lot of fun at times. Or at least a few good stories to share.”

I decided to spare her the retelling of one obnoxious, love-sick, school boy.

“Well.. Perhaps I’m just unlucky.” I simply told her. “Claire would know better than I.”

“Hm. Maybe I’ll ask her opinion.” Siobhan chuckled. “She’s nice, by the way.”

“She’s the nicer of the people in the office, at least.” I agree. “A little absent minded.”

“Hm, sounds like someone else we know.”

I chuckle.

“Okay. Not that bad.”

“So… What’s her.. thing?”

“‘Her thing?’” I looked at Siobhan, perplexed.

“Well I mean, I doubt any normal person could be right for the job.”

“Ah. Well, she’s a um.. Clairvoyant.”

“Claire the clairvoyant?” Siobhan grinned, though incredulous.

I shook my head and chuckled.

“As silly as it sounds, she’s actually really good at what she does.” I replied.

“She reads minds?”

“Somewhat. She’s said it’s a little more complicated than that. But basically it’s about what you’d expect. Read minds. Telepathy. Senses ghosts. Um.. Feels…. vibrations or something?” I shrugged. I never really understood it myself, though I had tried to read up on it.

“Hmm. Well, the internet’s up now. Here you go.”

We traded places. I sat down and began to search. Siobhan made herself comfortable on the desk. I checked reports on the previous deaths. No leads there. The victims were all just as varied as Siobhan explained. Mostly hooligans. Nothing similar.

‘Rookies, the lot of them.’ I thought to myself, reading through their reports. ‘No wonder they got caught.’

I tried looking for information on the jailhouse. The deaths that occurred were equally varied. The only thing any of them had in common was that they all appeared to have been horribly beaten to death. Everything from cracked ribs to broken bones. One was even killed with his skull bashed in. To be fair, my stomach was somewhat weak to read in more detail what all had happened. The chief of police at the time, a man by the name of Brutus J. Ustyss, was held in suspicion for the deaths, but never brought to court.

Suddenly the website I was searching turned blank and then the screen flickered and went black.

“Wha-?” I sighed in frustration and Siobhan did as well.

“I’m sorry, Trilby. The computer blinks out, sometimes.”

“Well..” I checked my watch. It was late into the afternoon. Soon enough I would have to stop. “I suppose I should go check on Claire. After that, we’ll try to gather more information elsewhere. I’ve been meaning to pay the library a visit, anyway.”

We headed back out of the office.

“You know, I’m still curious how someone as infamous as you landed a job as a paranormal investigator.” Siobhan started as we walked into the main room of the shop. “I mean, did you always want to be one? Or did you want something more?”

“Honestly? I wouldn’t have ever wished for something as ridiculous as this.” I sighed. “I yearn for the days before the Defoe Manor. Back when things were simpler. I’ll always be a thief at heart.”

The shop suddenly began to shiver and quake. Miscellaneous merchandise began to fall off the shelves around us. I felt an icy cold hand grab my shoulder and before I realized I’m being turned around, I’m met with a brick wall of immense pain and darkness.

#Chzo Mythos #Trilby Somerset #Siobhan O'Malley #Trilbhan #my writing #Chzo Trilby #ghosts #whooo boy how quickly did I write this??#holy shit I'm actually posting a fanfic again ^//^#I just didn't feel right posting until I've had the whole story finished so #updates will be regular!#Holy crap I'm super excited!#and open for critiques!#rational writing

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leal-5 · 5 years

Text

Tomb of Time and Destiny: Chapter 6

Juvia POV

Before Mira left she unlocked my room with a smile. “Everyone will be gathering shortly in the dining hall. Would you like me to escort you and your sister?”

“Not yet,” I said. “Juvia…um…needs a moment.”

“Of course.” She nodded a little and exited.

I paced the floor, suddenly feeling on the border of insanity. What are we going to do? How long could we keep this up? And more importantly, where in the world are Lucy and Levy?! Are they in danger? Did they get captured by the enemy? Phantom Lord, I think. I halted my pacing as fear seized me.

No, I thought as I turned an yanked my door open. Juvia must believe that they are okay and that they're looking for us too.

Two strides later I'm reaching up to knock on Erza's door just as she opens it in a hurry.

“Juvia.” She says in relief. "I was just going to go looking for you."

“What are we going to do Erza? I said in English, stepping into her room. “What happened to our clothes? And what's up with this weird language and why can we suddenly speak it?! How are we going to get back? How are we going to find Levy and Lucy? Can we even get back without them?”

I hadn't even thought of that last part till now.

“Well, the time travel thing only worked when all of our hands were on the hand prints, so I would assume that to get back, all four of our presence is crucial. As for the rest of our fears…. I'm not so sure.”

I swallow and look down.

“T-they use magic Erza.” I whisper.

“…. I know.”

“That shouldn't be possible!” I said, mostly to myself. Erza nodded, deep in thought.

A silence hung in the air as we sat on the bed.

“Well,” She said after a moment. “Right now our main focus is finding Levy and Lucy and ensuring their safety.”

I nod. “In that case, we need to work on our story.”

Erza blinked at me.

“We can't just tell people we come from, say, 600 years into the future and we're looking for our sisters whom we lost in a magical tomb! We need a backstory! Geography and family is everything to these people!”

Erza ran a hand down her face in frustration. “We need more ti-”

A gentle knock at the door made us jump. “Erza?”

Erza looked like a deer caught in headlights as Jellal deep voice rumbled from behind the door. I didn't miss the light blush in her cheeks or the miniscule shake in her voice when she answered “Yes?”

I gave her a ‘You're so totally crushing in him’ smirk and she glared at me.

“It’s time to eat. Won’t you and your sister join us? Gray and I will escort you.”

Gray.

~Doki doki.~

A blush rose to my cheeks. ‘What the hell was that?! Calm down Juvia! He’s taken bacon! You aren't the type of girl to steal another girl's man!'

I lightly slap my face and shake my head wildly.

“Of course, please give us a moment.” Erza answered, shooting me the same look with a smug grin.

“I guess there was no way out of it.” I muttered with a glare. Mira and now Gray and Jellal all seemed bent on our heading to dinner.

Erza nodded and moved to the door, flipped the latch, and opened it. They stood here, a slight smile on their lips. We smiled hesitantly at them as they escorted us.

“Can’t quite tame your hair, can can you?” Gray said while looking to my hair, a gentle, teasing smile on his lips, trying to make conversation.

We passed a mirror he I could see that my hair was indeed a wind-blown mess. Curse these blue curls! If only I had Lucy’s silky, blonde, straight hair. “Oh,” I said in dismay.

“No,” he said, looking suddenly remorseful. “I only meant to say…” He clamped his lips shut a moment, then, “It reminds me of how you looked when we found you. Two nymphs of the woods trapped in a tomb, just waiting to be set free.”

I tried to swallow but found it difficult under his searching gaze. These guys were clearly intrigued. With us? Or just our weird story?

We moved down the corridor through to the courtyard. With this weird dress, my hair a mess, towers all around, and a couple of guards checking us out, I almost freaked out again, very aware of how far away home really was. But I managed to keep it together. Mostly.

“You two are the tallest women I’ve met.”

Well, that was no surprise. That was something that was mentioned everywhere we went. Frankly, I'm surprised they just now said something.

“J-juvia thinks we are going to get that a lot.”

“Yes, well, I rather like it. It’s far easier to hold your arm than Ava’s.”

“Or Carmen's”

They said their names in a mumble, as if realizing too late, that their compliments to us was a dig at their girl.

We entered the Great Hall. There was a long table on a slightly elevated dais at the front of the room where Makarov, Gray's friends, Ava, Carmen, and their peeps, that tall, thin man, and a few others were already seated. All the men rose to their feet, looking in our direction. Some sort of old-fashioned chivalry? I could feel the heat of a blush climb my neck and cheeks, as well as the piercing cold of Ava’s stare- along with the stares of girls who surrounded her, despite their gentle smiles. Below them, two tables stretched outward, each easily seating twenty. All the men at these tables also rose and looked our way.

Ava looked up at me sweetly as I took a seat across from her. “Miss Lockser, Miss Scarlet, I trust you are refreshed?” She glanced left and right, all wide-eyed and innocent. Innocent Juvia's ass. “We feared you had taken sick when you did not appear to dinner.” Her glance moved to Gray, who was watching the exchange with interest, and held there. Yeah, right. You mean you hoped we’d gotten sick enough to die. You’re not fooling me or Erza. Gray and Jellal left our side and walked around the table, then stood behind his chair.

“We are quite refreshed,” Erza said. “Sorry for being late.”

Makarov rose and gave us a smile. “Don't worry about it. You are here now.”

I looked at my goblet an glanced at Erza. Nothing but wine to drink. No water. No juice. We had tried it before, but never had a whole glass. Erza tilted her head slightly an I nodded. We’d have to be careful. The last thing we needed was to get wasted and start yammering about modern medicine and space travel.

I took a tentative sip, analyzing the girl across from me. She wasn’t the overly mean girl, she was the smarter, more dastardly popular girl who was always nice to your face and ripped you apart in the shadows. The one who managed to steal your boyfriend before you even realized she was a threat.

It was good that Lucy wasn’t here. This kind of girl routinely destroyed my naive, artsy, trusting ‘sis’. But me? Well, I’d never dealt with it personally, but I'd seen it before. Of course, I didn’t want to take her on. There was no need. I’d be out of here soon enough. But if she thought she had me figured out, she had another thought coming. “So…Ava. Please, tell Juvia about yourself. Where did you obtain such a fine, amazing dress?”

I'll admit, her dress wasn't really my style, but her friend, Carmen I think, smiled, obviously pleased by my compliments, and I sensed a bit of a thaw, but I didn’t get the same vibe from Miss FancyPants. She answered my question as Gray carved a slice of chicken for each of us. But while words were emanating from her rosebud lips, her eyes were fastened on me, considering me, considering her next move. Like chess players. I suddenly had the desire to take her on at a chess table. Knights and queens and horses on a table before me while I was literally surrounded by real knights and horses. How many people could say that? Ha!

But as much as we had to keep an eye on the cat with her claws barely concealed across from me, we were drawn into the banter of Natsu and Gajeel to our left, and across from them, Makarov and a sickly looking young man to his left. The young man, whom I guessed to be about twenty, looked at me and gave me a small smile and a nod. Had we been introduced? He seemed so familiar, and yet not. I could have sworn he hadn’t been there when I arrived.

Jellal saw the direction I was looking and stood. “Juvia, Erza, may I present my cousin Simon.”

“Miss Lockser, Miss Scarlet, welcome,” he said tiredly, but there was kindness and warmth in his eyes.

I felt Ava and her girl's bristle across from me. Oh, I get it. They didn’t want us to hook up with any of the boys here. Gray made other introductions, to Ava and Carmen’s ladies-in-waiting, the other knights, to Bora, the tall, thin man I’d seen earlier. Gradually, I learned that he was Ava's father’s trusted man, here to escort his charge and watch over her. Was it my imagination, or did the man look at me like us like we were the worst sort of nuisance?

“Miss Lockser, tell us of your sisters,” Makarov said, interrupting my thoughts. “Perhaps one of our people has come across her today.”

“Your knights were rather occupied, Father,” Gray said. Was there an edge to his voice? I glanced between him, his brothers, and his father, trying to figure out the dynamics there.

“Yes, and you all saw it through in fine fashion,” he said, like he really couldn’t care less. He turned back to me. “Miss Juvia and Scarlet, your sister? Describe them for us.”

I thought back. She’d been wearing jeans and a t-shirt, but lord knows if the tomb changed their clothes too.... Best to steer clear of the clothing. “They’re quite a bit shorter than both Juvia and Erza-“

“Thank the heavens,” Ava said, giggling. “How might we deal with four women so tall?”

I sent a fake smile in her direction and went on. “Especially Levy, she only comes up to Juvia's shoulder.” I chuckle lightly as I say it.

Erza continued “Levy has short blue hair, a few shades lighter than Juvia's and Lucy has long, blonde hair-“

“Blonde?” Natsu repeated, clearly surprised.

“Gold. The color of straw, long and straight. They have brown eyes. They're both quite cute.”

Natsu rose, dragging Gajeel up with him. “Permission to go in immediate search of these young maidens, sir,” he said.

The other knights erupted in laughter. In front of us, two girls of Ava's posse bristled.

Jellal smiled but then waved them down. “They were not there when we found them. You know that as well as I.”

“Unless Phantom Lord somehow spirited them off,” said Gajeel lowly.

We looked down the table at him, alarm gathering in my chest. He was not joking.

Gray met my eyes and shook his head slightly. “She was not there. I swear it upon my grave.”

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She wasn’t back at the tomb, I told myself. I didn’t leave her behind. There was no doubt in Gray’s mind.

Still, doubt lingered. “Could we… could we go in the morning? To be certain? I mean, we became separated. Maybe they took another path, and even now, are there, trying to find shelter for the night.” Erza asked.

“With castles within view? Why not beg shelter from us or even Phantom Lord?” Carmen said, her voice ringing with the echo of judgment. “Assuming she knows nothing of them, of course,” she quickly amended.

“This is a new land for us, far from home,” I said. “We were so lost, we became fearful of trusting anyone.”

“Logical,” Gray said, stabbing his chicken with his knife and placing it in his mouth.

I stared at him for a moment and then looked down to my own utensils. Only a knife. Well, this’ll be tricky…. The Pre-Fork Era.

“Tell us,” Makarov said. “Where are you from?”

Several people nearby leaned in, studying us.

I glanced at Erza an swallowed. We hadn't figured that much out of our story.

“Enough,” Gray said. “Father, she is our guest.”

“A guest we know precious little about. They could easily be a spy for Phantom Lord or even witches. Their hair color is not normal and their clothes are unusual."

I’m sure our faces showed our surprise and confusion. They thought we were spies or... witches?

I mean, the spy thing I guess could understand, but witches?!

“Juvia fears Juvia’s sisters are in grave danger,” I said. “If Phantom Lord is as dangerous as it seems, Juvia and Erza need to redouble their efforts to make certain they haven’t fallen captive to them.”

Ava coughed. Did I imagine that she muttered something about wishing we had both gone to Phantom Lord?

Beside me, Erza twitched slightly. She did not take well to people speaking ill of her friends. I tapped her knee twice in a discrete warning. 'Calm down Erza, not worth it.'

Jellal shook his head. "I don't believe they're witches. You should have seen their faces of shock when they witnessed our usage of magic! It is obviously unknown to them."

"And I don't detect any magic energy emanating from them." Natsu said while sniffing in our direction.

"Do you really think that we'd bring them if here was the slightest doubt in our mind?" Gray asked him. Makarov silently stared at us before nodding, trusting his sons judgement.

"Sir, we ask for your aid,” Erza says, setting down her knife. “Might your men help us search for our sisters, come morning? We won’t be able to sleep, we're very worried.”

The tall, thin Bora leaned forward, weaving his fingers together and studying us with clever eyes, but Erza's eyes never left Makarov's. "You have our word that once we find them we will return home! It will be as if we never crossed paths"

Makarov regards silently for a few moments as if sizing us up. "Where did you say you were from?"

I could read straight through Erza's stoic face and could see that she was panicking internally.

"Juvia and her sisters are from Bellum." I blurted out. Bellum. That knight from Phantom Lord asked us if we were from Bellum or if we were witches. Clearly, a witch was not a good thing to be, and our limited knowledge of the land leaves us with no choice. I can only hope this doesn't end up condemning us.

"Bellum?!" Jellal said shocked. "That's quite a ways from here!"

Makarov harshly stared both me and Erza down, analyzing us for lies or deception, before nodding slowly as if being from Bellum suddenly explained a lot about us.

“We shall aid you in your quest." Makarov said after a moment. “Take your rest. In the morning, our men will set out and report to you come evening. They are most thorough.”

“Juvia begs you to allow us to join them in searching for our sisters.”

Makarov’s face twisted in astonishment at my request. Then, after a breath, Simon leaned over and whispered in his ear. Makarov straightened and looked hard at us. “I had heard Bellum women were quite audacious, but I did not think so much so.... I grant you permission, even though I believe it foolhardy. Be advised that while my sons and his men won the day, it was but one battle in a long war with our neighbors. I can promise no rescue if you are captured. Or, indeed, if your sisters are already in their foul hands.”

“We understand.” Erza said with a nod. “Thank you.”

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jcmorgenstern · 5 years

Note

fake killing off Clary just to have the Clave pardon her was stupid. I wanted her and Jon to be on the run while the Clave collectively shits their pants over Valentine's children being loose in the world. They'd swing by the NY Institute to pick up Jace like "get in loser we're doing crime" and Jace could do his undercover thing and no one would have to suffer :( except the randos that Clary and Jon murder :( :(

ok i was LITERALLY just thinking about this when i remembered someone sent me this ask like 200,000 years ago (back before the dinosaurs roamed the earth) so ummm better late than never eh?

Honestly I really didn’t like the decision to pardon Clary “posthumously” because there….was no reason to do so? Look, Jia is apparently so cartoonishly insane she wants to raise Valentine from the dead just to have a wee chat with him, there’s no way she’d backtrack on her EXECUTION order after Clary was dead. There’s no need–she’s already dead, right?–and it just makes look Jia look weak, something the Consul would never allow. Also, I’m just annoyed in general that the show has COMPLETELY forgotten that tons of high-ranking Clave members are secretly Circle (ie MALACHI, hello) and probably want Clary dead for a) killing valentine and b) being a danger to any plans to idk, toast the downworld or have a coup to make the circle powerful again or whatever.

Also it’s narrative unsatisfying because no one actually worked to get that pardon. The whole risk was that in saying “fuck you” to the Clave to save Jace, Clary would face real consequences, but those consequences appear and then…dissappear as inexplicably as they came? the whole leadup of 3a (which imo was very effective) is that Clary and Jace are lying about the wish….and then in 3b it’s totally dropped in the most unimaginative way possible. like maybe alec pulls strings, blackmails someone—even jace!! he is, after all, a herondale (even if he did sort of kill imogen whOOPS). Also who even IS inquisitor right now??? I legit thought it would be Victor since he appeared to be Imogen’s only underling, but he shows up in a completely different department with a years-long nefarious plan to commit genocide???? um??? ok???

anyway back to the point before this becomes an aldertree stan rant. Honestly i would have enjoyed the early team evil a lot more if Clary was like “ok listen here you fake ginger asshole, we DO need each other because the clave wants both of us dead but here are the ground rules. you fuck off if i say so and if not i stab you again. i don’t care if it hurts. fuck you” and then there’s the uneasy “partnership” where you’re never quite sure who’s betraying who and also drama!! and the sword!! and Jonathan going behind Clary’s back communicating with Meliorn and Clary going behind his back with Jace….IM JUST SAYING. also exactly as anon says undercover jace could have been introduced way earlier….like maybe the pardon for clary is contingent on him proving she’s innocent and with jonathan under duress, but the rune thing is happening and clary and jonathan are becoming more and more alike and jace is like….um shit lol i wasn’t prepared for that…and jonathan is like no way, the pardon is a trap, they’re just going to kill you!! and jace is like when has this idiot ever been right about anything in his life!! and clary is like wow you know it’s kind of hot when you two argue keep doing it…ANYWAY.

and then maybe jonathan goes off on his plan to kill lilith and jace arranges with the Gang to trap both of them and jonathan is McPissed and thinks clary betrayed him and it seems like the bond is broken (or is it?) and there’s clace happy times UNTIL the bond is threatened and clary is like…umm :))) maybe not :))) and rescues jonathan and everyone is like JACE WTF and jace is like “nothing about this is my fault :))” and they forge glorious etc etc

ALSO they could have tied all this in by making the heavenly fire investigation thing a real deal (personally i would have made it malachi’s pet project that jia hasn’t been consul long enough to know about….or Has She :)) and then draw in the magnus and alec storyline by emphasizing the war between asmodeus and lilith more, like kick that off earlier and weave it into magnus mourning the loss of his magic. so malec are off grave robbing and shit and trying to find the morgenstern sword to threaten asmodeus with (maybe they don’t know only a morgenstern can weild it, or assume jace and clary will get back SOMETIME lol) and maybe alec is dealing with political intrigue from jia and maybe even INQUISITOR aldertree or whatnot and magnus is like omg please ive been dealing with this petty infighting for centuries and teaches alec how to school some fools. and maybe raphael is izzy’s informant BUT simon gets arrested unfairly so they can study his downworlder blood so raphael and izzy have to team up to rescue him and there’s ~poly vibes~ ALSO team evil totally breaks luke out of prison you can’t change my mind.

anyway im just saying this season was organized by a 4th grader and it makes me kind of mad? Like i did genuinely think this was the storyline we were gonna get (or at least something like it) and i felt they wasted a lot of time noodling around with separate plots that went nowhere instead of trying to find one unified thing that could make the season move forward (ie the war between lilith and asmodeus, and uprising with the seelie queen and maybe lorenzo teaming up with heidi and maia’s like UM hello not on my watch) like idk man i just felt the arc plot was so badly thought through and im pretty sure you pointed this out like….during 3x11 and 12 so lke…..it was pretty obvious from the get-go that there’s a better way to do it

ANYWAY sorry that was a ramble but ummm those are my thoughts and sorry anon for being so Late ily

#friend anon #crispy chat #seriously they sent this like 2 months ago im just a fucking mess and completely forgot about it until now #anyway kind of ironic i complained about the show being disorganized when i can barely form a cohesive thought but SHHH #anyway this is kind of how i wish they'd gone but umm who knows they've got 2 episodes left to prove it to us idk

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siriuslyem · 5 years

Text

Goodbye

An Original Random Element Short Story

Elements: A girl with lilac hair, a boy with a bicycle carriage business, an abandoned beach pier, and a temporary tattoo.

Flora Kennedy kicked at the gravel on the sidewalk with one of the toes of her worn-out floral vans. She had just finished her last shift of the week at Whisker Pete's, the town's local music store. As she waited, she scanned the street, looking for her friend Carter who was coming to pick her up for their last weekend together for a while. He would be heading to college on Tuesday, and she would be heading back to Reynold's High to start her senior year.

Without him, she thought, before shaking the thought from her head. Around her, the droopy eyed town was winding down from the hectic tourist season. As the tired shop keepers started to pack up to spend the fall and winter somewhere warmer, Flora frowned. No one ever seemed to want to stay in Sunset Harbor for long.

From a distance, she heard a ringing sound that could only come from one place, and sure enough, moments later, Carter Jones turned the street corner. Even before he pulled up to the curb, Flora caught the friendly smile forming on his face. She raised her eyebrows in question as he came to a stop, and the smile transformed into his trademark smirk.

"Yes?" He asked amused and chuckled as Flora responded by rolling her eyes.

"Seriously? Why would you bring this? Actually, why do you even still have this?"

"Some of us are entrepreneurs."

"You ride people around on your bicycle."

"I offer charming and unique carriage tours of one of the most beautiful coastal towns on the west coast." He insisted.

Flora raised an eyebrow. “It’s a pedicab.”

“Car-ri-age, and as usual, you’re raising both of your eyebrows, not one. Besides, this pedicab paid for three out of the four years I will be seeking an education.” Carter teased but changed the subject anyway, he knew how difficult she was taking his leaving. “Can I interest you in one last bicycle drawn carriage ride through our fair town?”

“I guess it beats walking.”

“Or boarding.” He said noticing the skateboard she was holding.

“It gets me places.”

“It’s going to get you hurt.”

“Says the guy biking without a helmet.” She said sarcastically, slouching in the seat, and smiling a little when she heard his low laugh.

“Florabelle… this is basically a tricycle for adults. If I turn this over, I probably need to evaluate more important things than my lack of helmet. Now, if you will kindly direct your eyes to the right, you will see that we have arrived at stop one on Carter and Flora’s epic weekend.”

“Are you serious?!”

“What?” Carter asked innocently, dismounting his bike.

“We literally didn’t even move.”

“I can’t help that you work so close to the ice cream shop, besides, this is only a pit stop. I have a lot that I want to do today.”

“We have all weekend you know.” She reminded him, as he held the door open for her.

“Time moves faster than you think.” His voice was low, almost sad Flora noted, but he bounced back quickly when he noticed her watching him and ushered her inside with a side nod.

True to his word, she was soon climbing back into the carriage and Carter began to pedal off toward their next mysterious destination. Flora smiled, enjoying the rocky road waffle cone he insisted on paying for, as he gave her a true tourist’s tour of Sunset Harbor. He took care to point out each point of interest and made her laugh as he told her stories she already knew by heart. By the end, the sun was barely poking up over the small-town skyline, and Carter looped back around onto main street where the tour had begun.

“Are you not even going to drop me off at home?” she asked puzzled. She started to pull her board from the storage compartment as he stopped in front of his family’s grocery store.

“We’re not finished,” he said with a wink, as he hopped off the bike. “Wait here, I need to get one thing.”

Minutes later, Carter returned with a cooler and a backpack and placed it in the seat next to her. “We only have one more stop.” He explained. “Hold onto this until we get there please.”

It was a short trip to their destination, a left at the end of Main Street onto Beach Drive instead of a right, and she knew where the last stop would be. After a couple more minutes, and some terrible jokes from Carter, they had arrived at the pier. It was abandoned this late in the day, the restaurants closed around sunset, and most kids from town were at an end of summer bonfire at the McCreed’s, a mile up the beach.

“They’re real loud tonight, aren’t they?” Carter mused as he pulled a blanked from his backpack and spread it on the ground at the end of the pier.

“As opposed to all of their silent parties?”

“I guess.” He said with a laugh, as he sat down and pulled out a couple of Dr. Peppers and sandwiches.

“Dinner?”

“Well I couldn’t very well keep you out all hours of the night and not feed you. I am a gentleman after all.”

“That much about you is true. You are a gentleman.”

“Oh, before I forget, I got you something and it came in the mail today.” Carter said as he rummaged through his backpack and pulled out an envelope. Flora raised both of her brows, purposely this time as she opened the envelope.

“You got me a temporary tattoo?”

“Yeah, but this one is really cool, it lasts for two weeks.”

“Really? Why’d you get this for me? Like I love it, but…”

“I know you wanted a real one, but your dad won’t let you until you’re eighteen. This is the next best thing.” He explained as she looked over the instructions.

“Can we do it now?”

“Yeah, where do you want it?”

“My shoulder of course.”

“Of course. The most obvious of places.” He teased but helped her apply the tattoo to her sun-tanned skin. In the moonlight, her lilac hair reminded him of one of the characters in an anime he used to watch as a kid, but it suited her. It reminded him of a flower, though with Flora, most things about her did. That’s why he picked the tattoo with large peony flowers. He knew she’d want to put it on her shoulder and have it stretch down onto her arm. She had only reminded him a couple hundred times over the years. Twenty minutes later, he removed the paper, and frowned.

“It didn’t really take.” He said.

“It says it takes a day to develop.”

“Oh, you’ll have to send me a picture when it’s ready.”

“Or you could see it yourself tomorrow night.” Her tone was matter of fact, as the fact was one that should have been common knowledge.

“Well.”

“Well what?”

“I’m actually leaving in the morning. I just found out there is a mandatory meeting Monday in my dorm, it’s some get to know you outing or something.” Flora turned away from him, her gaze falling out over the waves highlighted in moonbeams. There was a new feeling in her heart, one that she hadn’t felt in a very long time. Betrayal.

“When were you going to tell me?”

“I’ve tried for the last week. It never seemed like the right time.”

“Well, you should have told me sooner.” She said, snapping her head to meet his gaze, before looking down and picking the fuzz off the blanket.

“I’m sorry. I wish that we had more time.”

“Well, it was your idea to take me all around the town.” Flora said, and she looked up at him just in time to catch the faintest glimpse of the same sad smile he wore at the ice cream shop.

“I wanted you to be my last tour.”

“Last?”

“Yeah, Tommy Broadman’s son, Trevor, is coming by in the morning to pick it up. He seemed like a good fit. Responsible and charming like myself.

“And he actually knows all the facts and stories.”

“Yeah that’s a plus.”

“He’ll do good. Trev’s a good kid.”

“I know. It’s a little bittersweet. I’ve spent every summer on that bike since I was nine doing everything from grocery deliveries to tours.”

“Well, it’s a stepping stone. I’m sure by next summer you’ll have a new job in the city.”

“Yeah?” He laughed. “What can you see me doing?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Working in a coffee shop probably.”

“A coffee shop?”

“Yeah, you’ve got a barista vibe, and the girls will flock from all over of course.”

“Oh? What makes you think that?”

“Well, you’re a total babe of course.”

Flora’s eyes widened to the size of tea saucers as the reality of what had left her mouth dawned on her, and when her hand flew to cover her mouth, it's meaning confirmed itself. She was smitten with him, of course, all girls were with his dark eyes and perfect olive skin. Flora had crushed on him since she was ten years old, but Carter always called her his sister, which deterred more guys from dating her than it attracted. She didn’t much mind though, because most guys weren’t like Carter anyway.

“I see.” He said quietly, looking over at her a little more softly than he had in the past. “How long have you felt this way?”

“Seven years.” It was his turn to wear a look of surprise.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“You called me your sister.” He shook his head a little, laughing under his breath.

“I didn’t know. If I had known…” He didn’t finish his sentence.

There was a soft silence between them, as the waves rippled below. There was an uncertainty in the air, a choice Carter had to make. He had convinced himself that she wasn’t into him. That after all these years, she still saw him as the boy with braces and glasses with lenses that seemed to be a solid inch thick; that she saw him as a brother. He thought that she had told him that once.

“Do you know how many times I’ve wanted to kiss you?” He asked her quietly. He didn’t prefer to be so vulnerable, but he was afraid if he masked it and pushed it away, he would end up hurting her more.

“No.” He chuckled sadly.

“Every single time I said goodbye.”

“But you never did.”

“No”

“Do you still want to?” Flora asked, looking up through her lashes, preparing herself for the disappointment she assumed would come.

“Florabelle, I’m going to school 2,000 miles away.”

“Yeah.” She agreed, tears slipping out of the corners of her eyes.

“It’s not fair to you. I shouldn’t have said anything. I told myself I wouldn’t.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m, um, I’m going to head home okay?”

“Let me pack up and I’ll take you.”

“No, that’s okay, it’s late, and you probably need to pack.”

“Flora.”

“I’ll see you Thanksgiving them I guess.” She said walking backwards.

“Christmas, actually.”

“Yeah, well, be safe.”

“Flora.”

She grabbed her board from the storage compartment of Carter’s stupid carriage, and wiped the tears still falling down her face. Stupid tear glands, she thought as she set off down the road towards her house. This shouldn’t be a surprise. Flora knew this was exactly how it would end up going, but it seemed especially cruel to have told her how he felt, only to leave her disappointed in the end. He had no right, she decided as she climbed the stairs leading to her front door.

“Night peanut.” Flora’s father called from the front porch as she stormed by.

“Night.”

She continued her angry internal tirade all the way up the stairs to her bedroom. How dare he in fact. When he knew he was leaving to go to his fancy school, how dare he tell her. Why didn’t he tell her sooner? Why didn’t he kiss her sooner? She changed into pajamas and left her clothes in the floor on her way to her bed. No sooner than her head hit the pillow, the tears came like a dam bursting inside her. Betrayal.

The next morning, she ignored the texts, missed calls, and several voicemails from Carter, and went out into the backyard to garden. After a few minutes, her dad joined her. He didn’t say anything, which she was thankful for, she was happy to be in his company. He hummed as he worked, and it distracted her from thinking about Carter.

“He called again, right before I came out you know.”

“Hmph.”

“This might be hard for him too peanut, everyone knows that you all have been in love since middle school.”

“Yeah well. You haven’t said anything about my tattoo.”

“I know it’s not real. It wasn’t that dark when you came in.”

“Yeah well.”

“Peanut.” He started, never pausing his weeding. “Maybe you should give him another chance. I think he was trying to protect you?”

“Protect me, or stay single to sleep with every girl on the east coast?”

“Peanut.”

“I am not a child anymore. I don’t need to protection.” Her voice broke a little at the end, and her dad hugged her.

“You know, when we lost your mama, I felt betrayed too. It wasn’t her fault though, and I had to come to terms with that peanut. You should always give the people who love you a second chance. You never know how long they’ll be around you know. In the end, it’s your choice. Do what’s best for you.”

“Flora?” Carter’s voice was soft as he crossed the backyard. Her dad let go and patted her shoulder before turning back towards the house. Flora stood slowly and wiped the tears from her cheeks before she turned to face him.

“I have to leave in a minute. We’re actually late, but I didn’t want to leave without making things right.”

“It’s okay Carter. I understand. Be safe.” She hugged him tight, which took him by surprise, and he wrapped his arms around her. “I’ll miss you.”

“Flora?” She looked up, meeting his eyes for the first time since their fight last night.

Carter kissed her, leaning in slowly, making sure she had time to register what was happening, but she was still surprised by the action. “I didn’t want to make the mistake of leaving again without kissing you. Because, Florabelle, I love you, and I would like to figure out how to make this work.” Flora looked back towards the house and saw her father as he peeked curiously out of the kitchen window.

“We’ll figure this out then.” She said before kissing him goodbye. For now, at least.

#short story #writing #flash fiction #love #college #writers on tumblr

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ralfstrashcan · 6 years

Text

3x11 Reaction / Commentary

So I haven't even started the episode and I'm already confused.

Why did Netflix put 3B in a separate folder? I mean, they didn't with 2B. What's the matter with that. Or is this just the German Netflix??

Smoooooothe move. Somewhere Derek Hale is smiling proudly.

Wtf why they so slow. I was half expecting this to be a simulation or sth because they took ages to arrive and then were walking super chill???

Seelie guy doesn't use this obvious distraction of the others to try and escape, since he knows he's just a minor character and shouldn't interfere.

Beautiful grieving sequence, especially Jace with the sketch of himself. I knew there would be a portrait of him in there before he even turned the page, I could feel it. I love how sensitive and therefore predictable the show is.

Ooooh nooooo Clary is still aliiiiiive, who whould have thought?!?!?! Okay sorry haha I had to.

lol didn't he look in a mirror recently and realize there's still no real resemblance? I mean, at least now he's not charred anymore, so I guess there's more resemblance than before, but you know what I mean. And I get it, this is supposed to be a parallelism to Lilith saying the same thing, but if memory serves right, at this point in time Jonathan was a) in a thick glass casket and b) dead so I'm wondering how he could have heard that.

wtf I'm getting sooo mixed signals from him. Does he want to give off creeper vibes or play house? Because he's kinda doing both?? Play Creeper House???

YEAH LITERALLY I WANT TO SEE THEIR HEATING BILLS

This...... doesn't sound as reassuring as it sounded in your head, Jonathan.

So, points for Clary for that ploy, but my heart is already pre-emptively breaking for Jonathan when he finds out she's playing him. The poor guy just wants family after being used and abused his whole life, man. Is that too much to ask.

More points for Clary for being sensible and grabbing a coat!!

“Clary, come on. You can't go out there. You're never gonna survive.”

Hahaha that had me laughing out loud. So Clary.

Okay, minus points for Clary for not actually wearing the coat. You had a winning streak of common sense but all good things must end, I guess.

Picturesque. But, uh, since Jonathan isn't following her she could slow down. And if she was a Slytherin, she would have waited til after breakfast with her daring escape.

LISTEN I LOVE THIS CASUAL DOMESTICITY

Also if you're more make-up versed than I am (which, admittedly, isn't very hard) and realized something was off about the way Magnus held that eyeliner stick (?) then check lynne-monstr's eyeliner salt club tag because it's hilarious. I also want to rec volunteer_of_hufflepuff's fic smile even though your heart is breaking because it's awesome.

...........................really. Really. That's how they want to play it? Ugh, okay. Ugh.

You know, I've had a whole lengthy extensive (dare I say exhaustive) rant ripening in my head since I saw this bit in the sneak peek but I'm just not in the mood, so let me cut it short: I get Simon's reaction emotionally, since losing Clary must be a horrible experience for him, but I'm still bitter about early 3A where blasting that werewolf across Taki's yard and knowing he might never walk again didn't bother Simon for one second. Repercussions should always matter, regardless of how close you are to the person affected.

Oh dear, she's still running. And her hair still looks like that?

Sure. Also

How can he keep up with her when he's walking and she's running? I mean he's not that much taller than her. Or does she run ten feet, pause to gasp and pant a little, runs again, stop and go, y'know? So on average she's just powerwalking.

Ok srsly I need to stop this nonsensical commentary.

Yeah and I guess he didn't notice the Clave-approved vampire-torture-sunlight construction Aldertree installed in this very same office (shown in 2x04 if you care to remember).

........who are you and what did you do to Alec Lightwood? You seriously want to tell me he'd consider not bringing up a violation of the Accords, and more importantly power abuse and torture, because of political reasons and he's “scared” to lose his standing with Jia? Please. He'd be enforcing Clave law. He'd be well within his right. We're talking about the guy who flat out refused to do the Inquisitor's bidding because it went against his moral code. Compared to that, this is a walk in the park. So. Please.

“I understand the kind of pain you're in, Jace.”

“No you don't. I'm sorry, you don't.”

“You're right...

Oh my god this isn't about Clary, or at least not for the most part. Jace is frikking traumatized because he wasn't in control of his body or his actions or his frakking mind for days. Btw I'm actually impressed and surprised they bothered to focus on anything but the Clary-Drama, namely Jace second-hand-killing like 33 people. And Imogen. And almost Alec. The way I see Jace he'll focus on his guilt, not the pain he feels over Clary's loss. Clary will be on his mind and that's one more thing to feel shitty about, because how can he be so selfish and think about his own pain when he brought so much more pain on other people? Jace has an incredibly intricately self-destructive mind and I love how it was portrayed here. Also loved the scene in general with some Izzy&Jace sibling feels, the tender way she talks to him, his kiss to her hand. But the focus (mainly because of Izzy) returning to Clary annoyed me a little.

And by the way, there is one person who can understand Jace. Alec. Because he was possessed by a demon and forced to kill someone, too. Granted, he doesn't have the memories of the action itself, but he saw it on tape. He blames himself because the demon fed off his own hate against Jocelyn. So I would really really love to see those two talking about it. I'm extremely thrilled to watch on and see if they do (but lol kinda hoping they don't because then I can finish writing my ficlet about it, which I sadly didn't manage to before 3B aired).

MY LIFE EXPECTANCY JUST INCREASED BY AT LEAST FIVE YEARS OKAY

Also what a damn badass nightlight, I want one as well even though I hate not to sleep in absolute darkness, that's how pretty this is.

HAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHA I C A N ' T

ALEC'S OFFENDED FACE AS IF THIS IS NEWS TO HIM

Wow I'm so glad they didn't forget about Iris. I was scared, not gonna lie.

Tbh I don't find Madzie's reaction that realistic. I mean, Valentine – the first person to talk to her after she got ripped from her normal life in her normal home – told her Clary got Iris into trouble. At some point they must have told her that Iris isn't coming back. But did they really tell her Iris was breeding warlocks? I highly doubt that. At most they told her Iris did some bad things. But, since they probably said the same thing about Valentine (and he was always “nice” to her) and told her Clary wasn't in fact evil, that kind of loses its meaning. And let's not forget, she is a child. A probably traumatized child, I might add, since Valentine used her to literally kill at least ten Shadowhunters that we see on screen, likely more. Her perception of what is right and what is wrong is easily swayed. And personally I think she neither really registered that Iris is supposed to be the bad guy now nor that living with Catarina / Magnus and Alec is sooooo much better than living with Iris ever was, so her having such a strong opposition against going with Iris seems unrealistic to me.

Love this. So good.

This is actually really beautiful

This is actually really dramatic for no reason and I'm soooo here for it.

Soooooo am I the only one wondering why the F Cat didn't put some wards on Magnus's place? I mean????? There is no explanation given for that, and frankly I can't come up with one. If not for Magnus, then Cat would at least put wards there while Madzie stays with him. Or....... do they want to imply Cat doesn't know that he lost his magic?? Hä?! If so, who the hell patched Alec back up from his neat little life-threatening arrow wound? Cuz I had assumed it was Cat. Since, y'know Jace pleaded with Magnus to help Alec, implying (to me at least) that an iratze alone wouldn't cut it this time. Except of course, if he asked because he didn't want to be bothered with taking out his stele and activating Alec's healing rune, but when Magnus refused because no magic he had no other choice.... and let's be real, the first scene of this episode heavily implies that a healing rune can cure just about anything in 0.3 seconds flat.

Alec wanting to bench Magnus makes no sense. Keeping him around and/or at the Institute makes more sense than, oh I don't know, telling him to stay in his loft where there are no wards. Wtf is logic anyway, right?

I liked this scene, don't get me wrong but... what's with the tough love? Alec isn't usually like that?? He's soft and firm reassurance, not aggressive and authoritative reassurance. Did he try that route before and it didn't work?? I need some answers.

“I had no idea.”

“How could you? You weren't there.”

“Me leaving had nothing to do with Simon. I just needed to be alone.

Okay, what, am I supposed to blame Maia now for needing time for and taking care of herself? She's so defensive as if her leaving was objectively wrong, and it wasn't.

“I guess when times get tough, some people need to be alone. And others need to be around other people.

Please, this is a dirty lie. Remind me again, who was it that pushed Alec away after he found out about her yin fen addiction, insisted she could handle it on her own, ran away and finally confiding in some random stranger she had just met? It wasn't Maia. Who stayed up late all night, disregarding her own emotions and rather tearing herself apart trying to fix the drama of her brothers than to mention to anyone she wasn't alright? Wasn't Maia either.

I feel strongly about this because this seems like a really cheap way to break up Saia and set up Sizzy and I don't like cheap things. I don't like Sizzy either, but my main demand is quality, not a certain content. I'll accept Sizzy if it's done correctly. But this isn't it. This is laying blame on a character who's not to blame, and making claims about another character that are plain untrue if you look at the last three seasons.

I've said it before, there would be good ways to break up Saia. For example their attitude to violence differs greatly from one another. Maia is trigger-happy and sees no harm in it, Simon is more or less pacifistic (at least when he's not having his I-don't-care-about-anything-but-my-gig-mood). Creating a conflict out of this would have been in character. Claiming Maia is somehow to blame because she wasn't there is not only unfair, but also invalidating all Maia has done for Simon before, and that was a lot. Putting up with her shitty ex, helping him search for Lilith, fighting her own pack so they don't bully him. She was about to have a face-off with the Seelie Queen – the very same creature that held her hostage not too long ago – just to be by his side. Is that all suddenly not worth anything anymore, just because she had the audacity to take a little time for herself, to sort through her own issues?

Seriously, he let her walk in that? No wonder she collapsed. Jonathan should have gotten her nice hiking boots.

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS

CAN WE JUST.... CAN WE...... APPRECIATE.......... HOW HE BATS ALL HER MAGIC ATTACKS AWAY....... LIKE............ MAGNUS................ H O W

Btw if this is supposed to sway me and make me see that benching Magnus would have been the right call, then it's not working, because fine, let's assume Magnus had gone home. Then Iris would have had an even easier job to snatch him away, because a) no wards and b) no sword. And on top of that Alec wouldn't have had a way of knowing that Magnus was even taken, since I doubt Iris would have let Magnus call or text him.

Do you even know that? I'd like to see what you're willing to do after being tortured for ten years. Just saying. But fine. Stay there on your high horse.

Ohmygod I am stunned. I couldn't have written that summation any better and to be honest I had assumed the show would just blackpaint Jonathan as evil villain and be done with it. This is so much more than I expected. I am impressed. (And of course now I hope that there will be a redemption arc for Jonathan, but I'm afraid I'm setting myself up for heartbreak with this one.)

Do they intend to tell me that this whole place is warmed by the fireplace? Why not by a heater? Since the three billion lamps

imply there's electricity somewhere. Or was that line about firewood just Jonathan's way to exit the scene? Who knows.

“Ollie? Doesn't remember a thing. Praetor was good about getting her and Samantha relocated. New identities. They're safe now, like everyone else.”

I'm still high-key bitter about this. I love Ollie a great deal, okay, so this is a pretty disappointing solution to outsource her from the plot. Just let her forget all the shit so she doesn't have to deal with trauma. Guess she thinks now her mother died in an explosion caused by a gas leakage or something. I wonder what the mundane police has to say about that and how long it'll take them to find her, since, y'know, they have evidence against her and all that.

Edit: This doesn't actually make sense if you think about it. Did Ollie just get dropped into a witness protection program for no reason she can remember? Or does that “new identities” actually mean they have completely new identities because they don't remember ANYTHING from their old life?? I need answers.

I get it. This is supposed to make me see how rundown and wasted Luke is. But is he purposefully trying to make himself look like a confused hobo? I mean couldn't he like, prepare the notes he wanted to show Jace? It's like he's trying to reinforce to Jace he shouldn't listen to a thing Luke says because these are clearly the actions of a desperate man. Presentation is half the battle man, man.

Hah, badass. There's a reason I love him.

I totally dig Magnus in his kiddie clothes, but I also need a lot of answers because there's blood on his hands and bodies at his feet and this doesn't look like magic gone haywire, this looks like a massacre and I need answers. I wonder if they're gonna explain this flash or just let it sit there uncommented. (I hope they address it and I hope it has something to do with Asmodeus and their time together.)

Ugh do I honestly have to reiterate that parking Magnus in his ward-less loft wouldn't have helped? Also, he's a grown-ass man and can make decisions for himself, dammit.

Owning up to his mistakes unrestrainedly. There's a reason I have a soft spot for Raphael.

New York, huh? What a coincidence. Wouldn't want him to live somewhere else and have Maia burn through the other half of her paycheck to pay some warlock to portal them again, right?

Also, not to be controversial, but why don't they ask the Praetor first? Since they had a whole ass book on the mark of cain and everything. And figured out what it is. And getting rid of something so dangerous is basically their job. I mean. Just saying.

You know I always marvel at this. Just because he's old he knows shit? Is there really an age where knowledge pops into your head just because? Because I'm still waiting for that to happen to me, let me tell you. Just like being immortal somehow grants you immediate access to celebrities and the questionable honor to be in the midst of all historical events of the slightest relevance? Srsly if I was immortal I'd still be glued to my lappy and hate going out.

LOL give Iris a front row seat on how you smashed her XD XD XD

IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE

<3 <3 <3

This exchange thing is a ploy, and to be honest, a painfully obvious one. I find it really kinda hard to believe Iris falls for it. What I've been asking myself since this plot line started is, why didn't Iris have that idea herself? Like, I honestly expected her to use Magnus as a hostage and tell Alec he either hand over Madzie or she'll kill Magnus. Makes way more sense than her just trying to find Madzie herself and then what, try to break her out again? That didn't work last time, and since the warlocks are warned by Magnus's abduction it'd be even unlikelier to work now. I get it plot-wise since it'd be a little awkward if Iris out-blackmailed the Shadowhunters, but like. Seriously. What's the in-universe-explanation for this???

I don't know why, but Magnus looks super cute in this shot.

Five bucks say this is Izzy with a shapeshifting rune, and ISTG if this is actually Madzie then I can just shake my head at them.

Okay, I totally dig Lightwood siblings working together but. Why do you have to simultaneously hurt me with plot holes.

1) Where did they get Seelie Magic? Did they employ Meliorn? Srlsy. Also, the Seelie Magic at the beginning of the episode could move so why was Illusion!Madzie standing there like a display dummy? That was super suspicious.

2) Why didn't they use a shapeshifting rune? The illusion would have held longer, Izzy could have gotten closer and tied Iris up more easily, without Magnus getting smashed first. But, drama I guess.

3) Where the f is Catarina? Please. Her ward almost gets kidnapped and all she does is go “Oh shit, gotta relocate her to some other High Warlock lol.” Her best friend gets kidnapped and all she does is go “Oh shit, but whatever, here have a fake ransom note but don't think I'll move my ass from this super important Bitching and Drinking Conference. I payed like 200 bucks to get in.” Wtf. This is shitty ooc behavior from her. Wtf. She's either suuuuuper confident that Alec and Izzy will get Magnus back no problem, or she doesn't give a shit about him, and sorry, I don't believe either of those two options.

HAHAHA I'M SCREAMING LOOOOOL!!! Is this code for “We wanted to kill her but Lilith was quicker so we'll pretend we weren't even interested in killing her in the first place”? The Clave, man. Always good for a laugh.

No, dummy, this is their R&D Department.

I'm not even kidding, remember 2x04:

Oh the good old times.

This was. Really good. Really. I'm like, reeling. I feel like show writers read too many fanfics and therefore the Malec scenes this ep were exquisite. Magnus evasively running around and not liking his “powerlessness.” Alec there to reassure him with the sweetest of words. Their kiss, not to short, but hard and determined, with feeling. Top tier shit.

Wow, even though the words that left their mouths were reassuring and good it still feels like their relationship is suddenly dying. I wonder why that is? Oh, right. Because Sizzy, that's why.

I love.

Ooooh guess the residual electricity finally ran out. And I guess Clary turned all the candles off to match the mood? Also, since it was dark outside before and now isn't anymore.... was Jonathan out collecting firewood the entire night? That's dedication, man.

.......what a coincidence that their healing rune is in the exact same spot. On that note, I've been wondering.... if the ressurection resetted his skin to a state it hasn't been in for ten years, effectively un-charring it, shouldn't his runes have disappeared as well? Did he spend the “days” Clary was sleeping with putting runes all over himself?? On that note, why the hell did Clary have to sleep for days when Jonathan was the one who came back from the dead? All that Clary did was running at Simon in slow motion. I mean, I know what I would find more taxing.

I soooo appreciate the blood on her teeth. Such care for detail <3

Okay, so I realize that this makes Jonathan look like a fanatic, but I actually understand this scene like this: He's not an idiot. He knew Clary wasn't really going to give him a chance. But this, this is his chance, because now she has no choice but to stick with him and see for herself.

Btw if you're wondering why I'm so pro Jonathan, you can read the beginning of this post where I got out all of my Jonathan Feels. Basically, until I actually see him act intrinsically evil I refuse to believe all hope is lost for him. He did terrible things, yes, and he's aware of that, but the way I see it he did them because he wasn't ever presented with an alternate choice. And now that he has one, he's holding onto it tooth and nail. He wants to leave all the pointless violence behind.

I'm aware he's a sadistic psycho in the books, but this wouldn't be the first time the show gave a character a make-over (for the better) and so far the only compelling piece of evidence on the show in favor of Jonathan's demon blood causing him to be unsavably evil was Jocelyn's vision of him killing a flower as a baby, and it's not even clear if that was intentional. So excuse me if that's not enough for me to write him off.

Gif Sources: Malec cheek kiss, Magnus being cutesy with his croc impression, Magnus brandishing his sword *facepalm* you know what I mean, Magnus batting Iris's magic away

#shadowhunters #alec lightwood #magnus bane #jace wayland #clary fray #isabelle lightwood #jonathan morgenstern #simon lewis #maia roberts #luke garroway #jia penhallow #raphael santiago #malec #magnus is badass #reaction

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theshatteredrose · 5 years

Text

A Gathering of Guardians - Prologue (Chapter 6) - Etrian Odyssey Nexus Fanfiction

AN: Another long chapter for this update :’D Hope you’ll enjoy reading~!

Ao3 | Wattpad | FFNet

Chapter 6:

Remedy watched as Lynus and Axel left the room, Zadkiel awkwardly but eagerly taking the lead. He couldn’t help but noticed that Axel had his hand resting on the small of Lynus’ back as they left. He already knew that they were married. He just got the feeling that they were rather affectionate toward one another. His brother and Jemella could be the same at times.

It was nice to see. Especially in regards to how relaxed they were around other people.

Remedy turned his gaze toward his fellow Etrians and gave them a questioning look. “What do you guys think?” he asked.

“They certainly seem nice enough,” Simon answered truthfully, a thoughtful look on his face.

Zircon nodded his head in agreement. “Yeah. I don’t get any bad vibes from them at all.”

“Axel possesses a very powerful aura,” Lindis stated matter-a-factly.

“Yeah, I noticed that, too,” Zircon was once more agreeable. “It’s not…completely off-putting, though.”

Remedy felt Axel that he was far stronger than he looked, and he looked pretty impressive. Quite the power stance without the arrogance or over-confidence. He just gave the impression that he could take the head off a dragon in one swing and then joke about it.

Honestly, Lynus had quite the presence of his own. Opposite of Axel’s. Axel had protective strength. Lynus felt warm and nurturing. Quite formable.

“Lynus is much the same,” he mused before he turned to look at Simon. “Right?”

“Right,” Simon immediately replied. “I’m most interested in learning from him, to be honest. If his reputation is anything to go by, then I have a lot left to learn.”

“Aiding them with their search and rescue missions are sure to be highly interesting as well,” Lindis mused aloud, his expression thoughtful before a small smile made its way to his lips. “Hm. Maybe we can teach them a thing or two in return.”

“This expedition should be fun,” Remedy couldn’t help but state, smiling also.

“We’ll have to wonder about the troubles we might face later,” Zircon suddenly stated. “Maginia will take flight some time today, so we better get ready.”

Oh, he was right. Whenever Maginia took to the air, or even hit any turbulence, the whole city would shake and tremble. It was disconcerting for those who weren’t used to the quirks of a flying city. So, the city council had to issue out departing times, allowing for everyone to prepare by tying down loose items, gather materials needed to keep inside for hours or even days on end.

The city was pretty self-efficient and sheltered when in flight, but it was still strongly advised that they limited outdoor activities. That was why the buildings were so large and made of sturdy material.

“Let’s get to work, then,” Simon said. “This shouldn’t take long.”

With that said, they parted ways briefly to ensure that their personal belongings were securely taken care off. After that, they were likely to make a few rounds just to ensure that the building was structurally sound. The way the city would shake and tremble as it took off was really, really worrying. It wouldn’t be surprising if some structures were damaged, despite their sturdiness.

After Remedy inspected his room, shoving some of his books and belongings into the draws and closet, he decided to head out into the playground to remind Quinn of Maginia’s departure time.

He subconsciously moved to a jog when he rounded a corner, only to crash all-but face-first into something, or rather someone tall. He stumbled back a step as a hand immediately flew up to touch his nose.

“Oh, sorry!” Remedy said as he smiled sheepishly and rubbed his nose absentmindedly.

He looked up at the one he ran into, another apology on his lips when he fell still. A man he had never met before stood before him. His long blond hair fell over a red scarf that was covering the lower half of his face. His eyes, a bright blue, were piercing. And honestly a little intimidating.

“Um, I-I’m really sorry,” he uttered again.

The blond-haired man simply looked at him with narrowed eyes. Suddenly, they didn’t look…all that intimidating anymore. Well, he looked intimidating in appearance, but his gaze was more…searching than frightening.

Suddenly, another blond appeared from behind the man and stepped to stand next to him. This man looked far more friendly. Short blond hair, and bright blue eyes, though a shade darker than the other man. He appeared rather tall and with subtle muscles.

“Ah, no harm done,” he said in a polite and friendly tone. “Don’t worry about it.”

Remedy took a moment to look at the two. “Hm? Are you members of the Guardians?”

“That’s right,” the short blond-haired man replied before he tilted his head to the side in curiosity. “And you, you must be Remedy, yes?”

Remedy blinked before he lifted a hand to point at himself. “Do I look that much like what Lynus did?”

He laughed lightly and nodded his head. “You do, honestly. Though, I hope you don’t take any offense, he was a lot scrawnier and meeker than you appear to be.”

“R-really?” Remedy found himself stuttering, honestly finding it difficult imagining the benign man he had met could be meek. “I can’t imagine it.”

The man’s eyes took on a faraway gaze while the one who had been silent seemed to mutter darkly under his breath. “He’s…been through a lot, you could say.”

Remedy felt a strange sense of intrigue mixed with surprise.

However, before anything more than could be said on the subject, the taller blond placed a charming smile on his lips once more. “Oh, let me introduce ourselves. My name is Jhon. And this is Tobyn, my husband.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Remedy replied instinctively before he raised his hand in an inquisitive manner. “Um, question? Is everyone from your guild married?”

Jhon laughed once more, sound genuinely amused. “No, not all of us,” he said before the smile on his lips turned softly playful. “The rest have fiancés.”

Wow…they feel way more mature and well put together…

“Remedy, there you are.” Zircon’s voice interrupted before Remedy could form a response. “Are you-?”

Remedy turned to look behind him, curious as to why Zircon stopped mid-sentence. He seemed to be looking at Jhon and Tobyn curiosity, Simon and Lindis doing the same behind him.

Jhon and Tobyn appeared to be gazing at Zircon with equal interest. Tobyn just looked, however, while Jhon tilted his head to the side questioningly. “Hm?”

“Oh, ah, let me introduce you,” Remedy said to break the small fragment of tension that seemed to have fallen over them. “Um, you already know my name. This is Zircon, Simon, and Lindis.”

While Tobyn continued to remain curiously silent, Jhon righted himself and nodded his head, placing another pleasant smile to his lips. “Pleasure to meet you. My name is Jhon and this is Tobyn. I assume you’re all here because of Villard?”

Remedy nodded his head. “That’s right.”

Jhon seemed sincerely pleased to hear that. “Ah, that means that we may be working together in the future. Have you met anyone else from the Guardians?”

“Well, we’ve met Axel and Gerald,” Remedy replied. “And I’ve met Azure. But that’s it.”

“Well, there’s a lot more for you to meet,” Jhon said before that somewhat playful smile returned. “I best leave that to Lynus, shall I? He loves prattling about his guildmates, after all.”

Remedy felt himself perk up slightly at that. “I certainly got that from him. He doesn’t like talking about himself, though, does he?”

Jhon shook his head. “No. He’s extremely modest. He has nothing but praise for everyone else. I’m sure you’ll get along well.” He then paused and furrowed his brow slightly. “By the way, do you happen to know where Axel and Lynus went?”

“They were asked to visit the Explorers Guild,” Remedy immediately replied. “They’ll probably be back soon.”

Jhon looked relieved. “Ok, thank you.”

Tobyn still hadn’t uttered a single word and Remedy was beginning to wonder if he was in fact mute. He honestly hadn’t met anyone quite as quiet as him. That hexer fellow, Zalaph was it? He was pretty quiet, too, though.

Jhon’s eyes suddenly flickered over the top of Remedy’s head and he smiled warmly. “Ah, you’re back.”

Remedy turned to look behind him to see that Axel and Lynus had indeed returned. With them were Jemella and Zadkiel. They walked together, so obviously had returned from the Explorer’s Guild together.

“Hey,” Axel greeted as his group met up with the others. “Looking for us?”

“Yes, actually,” Jhon said as he turned to give Axel his full attention. “Apparently, Maginia is getting ready to take flight and Villard feels it would be best for everyone to be gathered within the dining hall.”

“Hm. That would make sense,” Axel idly replied.

“Oh good, you’ve met Jemella,” Remedy piped up.

Jemella turned his attention toward him and gave him a half grin. “Hey, kiddo. I’ve got good news. From today onwards, the four of you are members of the Guardian Guild.”

“…Huh?!”

Apparently, Remedy wasn’t the only one surprised!

Axel gave a short laugh as he folded his arms across his chest casually. “Mueller’s idea. He thought it best that we have one guildname for everyone who agrees to help Villard to explore under. Make things easier at least.”

“The general consensus is that the Guardians is a fitting name for what Villard hopes to do,” Lynus explained further before he turned to look curiously upon Remedy. “We hope you don’t mind?”

“N-no, not at all,” Remedy stuttered a reply immediately. “We were just surprised.”

Axel turned slightly and unfurled an arm from his chest. He then used that arm to loop around Zadkiel’s neck and pulled him closer. Zadkiel stumbled forward. He probably would have fallen on his face had Axel’s arm not be secure around his neck and shoulders. Zadkiel blushed a bright red, but didn’t attempt to dislodge himself from Axel’s hold.

“We’ve already signed up Zadkiel here,” Axel said. “Still need your signatures on the forms, though.”

“You’ve got some high expectations to live up to, but I’m sure you lot will be fine,” Jemella unexpectedly stated, seemingly aiming that toward everyone present.

He soon focused his attention in on Remedy, however. And Remedy half expected the other man to make some kind of sarcastic comment or remark about Remedy needing to stay out of trouble. And how that would be a feat in of itself. He could be quite rude when he wanted.

Instead, he asked him a question. “Anyway, where’s Quinn at?”

“He’s at the play park with the kids,” Remedy answered.

Jemella nodded his head. “Better go round them up. Catch you lot later.”

With that, Jemella turned and head in the direction of the doors that led outside. It wasn’t at all a surprise for him to immediately go in search of Quinn when he returned. Now that they were no longer in Etria, no longer in their important roles, they both had the habit of just seeking each other out. Not so much to keep an eye on each other, but rather to simply spend time together.

This was their ‘vacation’ time, after all.

“Lynus!”

Lynus lifted his head up and turned in the direction of the new voice. From the hallway that led directly to the dining hall, three more figures appeared. One that Remedy recognised to be Azure, Lynus’ apprentice. But the blond-haired man with a ginger and white cat sitting on his shoulder, and a shirtless man with black hair and golden armbands were new to him.

They were obviously more members of the Guardians.

“Hm?” Lynus hummed, his brow furrowed slightly in concern when Azure immediately took hold of his arm and the blond-haired alchemist (by appearance) stood directly in front of him. “Is something wrong?”

But the blond-haired man shook his head. “N-no, we just wanted to make sure you both had returned before Maginia takes flight.”

“Ah.” Lynus relaxed and raised an arm toward the feline on the man’s shoulder, scratching it under the chin. “Is everyone starting to gather into the dining hall now?”

“Y-yes,” Azure answered over the really quite loud purrs of the cat. “We just wanted to make sure everyone knew.”

“That’s fair,” Lynus said in acceptance. He soon remembered that Remedy and his companions were still there and he turned to give them a short, apologetic look. “Ah, excuse me. Let me introduce you. This is Magnus, Shen, and Azure, my apprentice.”

“Nice to meet you,” Remedy replied politely. “I’m Remedy, this is Zircon, Simon, and Lindis.”

They had better get used to introducing themselves, hadn’t they?

Lindis unexpectedly walked forward, toward Magnus, and stopped. “Is this little one your mascot?” he asked.

Magnus nodded his head. “Her name is Zanna,” he replied, the cat swishing her tail as if in response to her name. “You can pat her, if you want.”

Lindis did just that, scratching Zanna under her chin. Something she seemed to appreciate, if pushing her head further into his hand for more scratches was any indication. “She’s very beautiful.”

“She’s also a snuggle-bug,” Lynus chuckled before a contemplative look appeared on his face and he turned his attention to Shen. “Speaking of which. How’s Chi-hung and his little wolves?”

Wait, wolves?

“They’re really nervous about their new surroundings,” Shen replied simply.

Lynus sighed and nodded his head. “That’s to be expected. We best stay with them as much as we can.”

“Shen and I will keep them together in the dining hall,” Magnus immediately offered, earning himself a small smile from Lynus.

“Yes, please do.”

“We’ll help,” Jhon volunteered before he turned regard Remedy and his companions. “Nice meeting you.”

“Ah, you, too,” Remedy automatically replied.

And watched as Jhon and Tobyn walked past him to join Shen and Magnus. Zanna settled back down on Magnus’ shoulder, the blond giving Lindis a small, almost shy wave as a farewell before he joins his guildmates. Lindis returned the small wave before he, too, moved to stand with Simon.

Azure, however, stayed clinging to Lynus’ arm. He appeared very meek and almost skittish. He seemed only really comfortable staying close to someone he knows quite well. And it was obvious that Lynus was the one he trusted the most. And Lynus was just as protective of him.

“Staying with us, Azure?” Lynus asked Azure softly, receiving a nod in response. “That’s fine. Oh, good news; Zadkiel is a member of the Guardians now. I’m sure you’ll both get along.”

Azure glanced over at Zadkiel, lingering there for a moment, before he turned back to Lynus. And nodded softly.

Lynus smiled in reassurance before he turned his attention back to everyone. “Well, shall we go to the dining hall, too?”

“Of course,” Remedy replied.

Remedy took the incentive and led everyone toward the dining hall. As they approached, he could hear voices of those who were already there. It was somehow comforting. In a way. When they first arrived, it was so quiet, just them in such a large place.

But now that there were thirty-three more of them with more to come, it was only going to get louder.

“And this is the dining hall,” Remedy explained as they walked into a large room.

Four long tables with chairs were within the very centre of the room. Cupboards surrounded two walls of the hall, and two swinging doors on the western wall. They, of course, led to the kitchen area. A sizeable kitchen, too. Which was excellent as they were going to have a lot of mouths to feed.

Hmm, Villard was likely to ask everyone to pitch in with certain chores. He’d probably get to that later. Or everyone would figure it out for themselves.

“The dining room is far larger than I had expected,” Lynus confessed.

“Villard is hoping to use this an impromptu meeting room should there ever be a case where he needs to speak with everyone,” Simon added.

“There are a lot of chairs here,” Lynus commented as he made note of the number of the chairs. There had to be at least a hundred or more. “No doubt he’s hoping to amass a huge gathering.”

Remedy glanced around and rubbed his arm. “Yeah. It was really empty when we first arrived.”

“Well, it’s going to be about half-way full now,” Lynus said with a as other began to file into the dining hall, too. “Why don’t we sit and I’ll tell you all the gossip about my guildmates?”

Remedy had to chuckle and nodded his head. But as he turned to look for a table where to could seat themselves, his eyes landed on two men as they walked in together. One was Villard. And the other was a certain detective who made himself quite renowned in Etria for his investigator skills.

“Oh, that’s Austin,” Remedy said as he motioned toward Austin with a wave of his hand, both Lynus and Axel turning to take a look himselves. “He’s a detective, like Villard apparently.”

“Austin, huh?” Axel repeated, his tone contemplative as he continued to stare at Austin for a few seconds longer. “He has a punchable face.”

The small statement surprised Remedy, but it earned a slight eye-roll from Lynus, a soft giggle from Azure, and a half laugh, half snort from Lindis.

“Yeah,” Lindis unexpectedly replied. “Absolutely. Five minutes into speaking with him and you’ll want to sock him in the teeth.”

“He can be rather…insufferable at times,” Simon added, trying hard to be more diplomatic than Lindis. “Nice enough, just very confident.”

Axel gave a short laugh as he turned to face them again. “I better avoid him, then,” he said with a grin and gazed toward Lynus to tell him something. “We should probably keep Zeryn away from him, too.”

Lindis perked up and furrowed his brow questioningly. “Zeryn? Six-foot-six with blond hair?”

Axel immediately turned to look at him once more. “That’s him.”

“He’s from my village,” Lindis explained.

“Really?” Surprise was evident in Axel’s voice. “You wouldn’t happen to know someone call Gage, too?”

“Six-foot-seven with brown hair?”

“Right.”

“I haven’t seen or heard from either of them in years,” Lindis murmured as he glanced around at the occupants slowly filling the hall. “Are they both here?”

“Yep,” Axel replied. “You’ll hear Zeryn before you see him. And Gage has the habit of sneaking up on you. They’re total opposites.”

“Why don’t you reunite Lindis with the two before Zeryn finds him first?” Lynus suggested.

Axel thought that over for a moment before he nodded his head. “Yeah, that could lead to untold chaos.” He then wrapped an arm around Lynus’ shoulders so that he could pull him toward him and press a kiss to his lips. “We’ll be back for the city takes off.”

Lindis turned away from the affection to glance over at Simon. To offer him his own reassurance, it seems. “Won’t be long. I’ll introduce you to them later.”

“Alright,” Simon replied with a slight frown. “Be back before we take off.”

“Of course,” Lindis promised before he turned and walked away with Axel, the redhead seemingly chatting with him as the moved.

Lynus watched the two as they left with a small smile on his lips before he turned to regard Remedy once more. “Well, shall we find a seat?”

Remedy nodded his head and moved to take the led once more. “Sure.”

“Coming, Zadkiel?” Lynus called out questioningly.

“Ah, yeah,” Zadkiel murmured as he followed Lynus and Azure closely behind.

Remedy led the small group over to one of the tables. The chose to sit across from each other. Lynus with Azure and Zadkiel on either side of him took one side. While Remedy sat on the other. With Simon and Zircon on either side of him.

Lynus seemed to take a moment to ensure that Azure was comfortable before he turned and folded his arms atop of the table in a relaxed manner. “Well, let’s start with who you haven’t met,” he murmured as he looked around. “Hm. Oh, there’s Ryker. The survivalist with the turquoise hair. He’s absolutely amazing at finding high quality materials. If you’re looking for something specific, he’ll find it for you.”

Remedy looked in where Lynus indicated. He saw two men that were talking with each other. One was obviously Ryker. The other appeared to be that of a medic.

“Redhead with glasses is Darrell,” Lynus continued. “He’s a medic and has a lot of hospital experience. He’s here to help in the construction and management of the Maginian Hospital, actually. He also has experience as an explorer.”

So, he was a medic. That was reassuring to know that there was going to be at least five medics on this expedition. They’d have to be in some serious trouble if they needed more.

“Oh, and there’s Shiki!” Lynus suddenly exclaimed. “I was wondering where he’s been all this time.”

Remedy turned to look in the same direction that Lynus was. He saw that his brother had finally returned to the dining hall with Jemella and the kids. Gerald, the gunner he had met earlier was also with them. As was his son and another man.

“The ronin with the bandages,” Lynus pointed out. “That’s Shiki. Gerald’s husband. He’s a dad-dad, if you know what I mean? He has the habit of adopting vulnerable people. Or just anyone, really.”

Quinn and Jemella seemed quite comfortable with the two already. They seemed relaxed. Jemella even sharing a laugh or two with Shiki. It was honestly good to see. They appeared to have a bit in common, so it was nice for hard-working Quinn to make some friends of his own.

Ghali suddenly broke from Gerald’s hand to run over to a tall, muscular man with blue hair. And hugged him tightly around the waist.

Lynus had also seen the sight and chuckled. “Ah, the man with blue-hair? That’s Simmons, Shiki’s son. He’s a very sweet, innocent man. That family…has been through a lot. It’s unfair, really.”

Another man appeared. Shorter than the first, but dressed similarly to that of a dark hunter. And Ghali hugged him around the waist, too.

“The white-haired dark hunter is Rahas,” Lynus continued to explain. “He is Simmons’ partner and extremely protective of Simmons and his family. And I mean, extremely.”

From across the hall, a voice suddenly boomed above all the noise, startling Remedy enough to jump in his seat. “Aye, Lindis! How the fuck is ya?”

Lynus winced lightly before he smiled. “That’s Zeryn. You really do hear him before you see him. Though, he’s not as bad as he used to be. Topaz has calmed him down somewhat.”

“Is Topaz the blue-haired man following him?” Remedy asked as he watched Zeryn, the tall highlander make a bee-line for Lindis, a rather regal man at his heel.

“That’s him,” Lynus chuckled.

During his walk to Lindis, Zeryn bypassed another with short green hair and a cape. The little crown he wore gave the indication that he was someone of royalty. Or someone who liked to think himself as such.

“Hey, little Dickie!” Zeryn greeted as he swiftly moved past.

The kid spun around with a dramatic flare. “It’s Benedict, you uncouth swine!”

“And that’s Benedict,” Lynus said with a laugh. “Benedict Richardson the Third. He’s…special, I suppose you could say. Don’t worry; if you forget his name, he will remind you.”

They certainly had some colourful characters in their guild.

A hexer in maroon robes strolled past Lynus and their end of the table. He suddenly dropped to the floor, face first, making a loud thud. It caused Remedy to jump in his seat yet again and he saw the others do the same as they simultaneously turn to look toward the source of the noise. However, Remedy also noticed that Lynus didn't look. Instead, Lynus had closed his eyes and drew in a slow breath.

"Mahogany," he murmured under his breath.

He didn't look annoyed or agitated, but there was obvious exasperation in his voice.

A hand suddenly reached up and slapped against the table, startling everyone once again. Slowly, the hexer, likely called Mahogany, used the table to struggle back to his feet. He drew in a sharp breath before...standing straight and idly fixing his hair. Like nothing had happened.

"How odd," the hexer murmured.

"Don't say it, Mahogany," Lynus unexpectedly warned.

"I've matured past that, now," Mahogany replied with a careless shrug. "If you're interested, it’s the one with white hair."

Lynus eyes flickered over toward Simon. Sympathy, perhaps even empathy, caused his gaze to soften. It was a fleeting moment, but Remedy caught it all the same.

“You really need to stop scaring people, Mahogany,” Lynus chided lightly as he turned his attention back to his guildmate.

Mahogany shrugged, apparently either dismissive or nonchalant about his startling behaviour. “I don’t do it on purpose. Most of the time, at least.”

With that said, he turned and walked away, completely oblivious to the discontentment he left in his wake.

Lynus broke the uncomfortable silence that followed with an audible sigh. “He’s always like that. You’ll have to forgive his…quirkiness, I suppose.”

“Hexers are renowned for their particular skills,” Simon responded before he glanced over the rims of his glasses to give Lynus a rather…pointed look.

Lynus unexpectedly sighed as he folded his arms atop of the table and leaned against them. "He always leaves me to explain. Mahogany has a particular...skill, you could say. One that allows his to see past events of the lives of...other people. The more traumatic the event, the easier it is for him to receive that vision."

They fell into an uneasy silent after Lynus’ explanation. Simon in particular was unnerved. Remedy could almost feel his unease.

“What could he…?” Simon muttered under his breath as his gazed off to the side. That breath was soon caught in his throat, gasping in realisation.

“He did the same thing to me,” Lynus quickly admitted, likely in an attempt to calm or reassure Simon. That admission earned a surprised glance from Simon. “It’s very unnerving, to be quite frank. Sent me running.”

Lynus was absolutely attempting to disarm the tension that had fallen over the group. Finally, Simon nodded his head and idly pushed up his glasses.

“We’re all explorers,” Simon said. “It’s an unfortunate fact that we’ve endured trauma in our lives.”

“Very true. And the fact that we’re all still here proves how stubborn we truly are,” Lynus added with a smile.

“We’re back.”

A flicker of relief appeared in Lynus’ eyes upon the sound of Axel’s voice. Zadkiel scooted to the side to allow for Axel to slip in between him and Lynus. While Lindis walked to the other side of the table and sat next to Simon. Whom of which also wore an expression of relief.

“Seems like Maginia is about to take flight at any minute,” Axel explained as he slipped an arm around Lynus, intentionally pulling him closer.

“We’ll soon see how we’ll handle this, then,” Lynus commented.

“We heard Zeryn,” Simon said to Lindis, likely looking to change the topic subject. “I’m almost afraid to ask how he greeted you personally.”

Lindis gave a short laugh as he rested his elbows on the table. “He’s actually gotten better. Still, I understand why Elder kicked him out in frustration.”

“He’s very proud of that,” Axel quipped.

Again, Lindis laughed and shook his head. “Doesn’t surprise me. But it was nice meeting Gage again.”

A loud siren that blared for several consecutive minutes interrupted everyone. Other then the siren, no one else made a sound. They remained silent when a rumbling noise was heard. Tat indicated that the engines were powering up to lift Maginia up off the ground.

Remedy instinctively held onto the table in front of him, while Axel and Lynus reacted by reaching out to one another. Axel kept an arm firm around Lynus’ shoulders while Lynus used one hand to latch onto Axel, his other reaching out to comfort Azure. Out of the two, Azure had the most negative reaction; immediately scooting over to Lynus and burying his face into his shoulder.

They didn’t immediately panic, however. They remain relatively calm throughout the trembling and noise around them.

Perhaps they had been warned beforehand. Perhaps they knew that they were fine once that got to cruising level, as it were. The take off always rattled some buildings and nerves.

Thankfully, where they were located, they didn’t have to deal with the constant hum or roar of the engines. They were located close to the centre of the city, away from the powerful winds and engine noise.

Finally, the noise and rattling began to subside. And it was replaced by a new sound; children crying.

Remedy immediately looked over to where his brother sat with Jemella and the kids. Quinn had Benji on his lap, comforting the boy. He had reacted the same way when they lifted off for the first time. The loud noise and rumblings frightened him.

And it appeared as if he wasn’t the only one startled by the event; Gerald was comforting Ghali, the blond-haired boy clinging to him with his arms around his neck.

Poor kids. They’ll likely be afraid of every take off. The sooner they got to Lemuria, the better.

Turning his attention away from the frightened boys, Remedy looked back toward Lynus. Axel still had his arm around his shoulders, but Lynus seemed to be comforting Azure more than reacting to the events around them. Azure, for his part, had lifted his head from Lynus’ shoulder, but he was obviously still unnerved by what had occurred.

“You handled that rather well,” Simon complimented as he relaxed a little. “Austin dropped to the floor in a duck-and-cover position when he experienced take off for the first time.”

“Ah. This isn’t our first time in a flying city,” Lynus unexpectedly revealed.

“You’ve been to Maginia before?” Remedy asked, clearly surprised.

But Lynus shook his head. “Maginia, no. There’s a stratum in Lagaard’s labyrinth we called “Heavenly Keep”. It’s a flying castle of sorts.”

That immediately gained Simon’s interest. “Really?”

“Oh yes,” Lynus said with a smile. “I’m sure we’ll be able to tell each other of the quirks of labyrinths, hm?”

“Speaking of which, what our next stop at?” Axel asked.

Remedy thought for a moment. “Well, from what I understand our next port of call is Armoroad.”

“Hm? Armoroad?” Lynus perked up a little upon hearing the city’s name. “Oh good. I hope to find Flavio there.”

Simon tilted his head to the side. “Flavio?”

“Yes, he’s also from Midgard Library.”

“Yes, I remember him,” Simon murmured as he straightened his posture. “Him and Fafnir were inseparable. I’m afraid I haven’t heard anything about the two for at least two years.”

Lynus’ bright expression suddenly dimmed slightly and he looked apologetic. “It’s a very long story, but Fafnir was stranded in Armoroad and Flavio, of course, went off to find him immediately. His party member and friend, Bertrand, accompanied him to find Fafnir.”

Simon frowned. “I sense that this has an extraordinary story behind it.”

“Flavio will be able to tell you more than I could,” Lynus said with a sad smile. He trailed off for a moment, lost in thought. He soon shook his head, however, and rested his arms atop of the table once more. “What other cities will we be visiting?”

“Ah, Tharsis and Iorys,” Remedy answered.

Again, Lynus seemed to brighten. “Oh good, we are visiting Tharsis. I have a penpal there. I’ve been wanting to meet him and his guild.”

“Iorys is going to be interesting, to say the least,” Simon added. “It’s an isolated island that rumours state they have their own unique races and skills.”

It was a shame that Maginia only stayed at their chosen ports for a day or two, using that time to gather materials. It would be nice to visit other labyrinths, to see for themselves that kind of environments and materials that could be discovered.

Oh well. They’ll just have to deal with the surprises that Lemuria had in store for them.

#Etrian Odyssey #etrian odyssey nexus #fanfiction #A Gathering of Guardians #Simon #Lindis/Highlander

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