#yes this post was made because of derision

[fanjiansaa]

Good grief, so this show is really just doing this with every single fandom complaint they have huh?

Marinette is stalking Adrien? Well, she has PTSD from Chloe and Kim, so it's completely justified and by criticizing it, you are being inconsiderate of mental health.

The statue kiss was disgusting? Jokes on you, Adrien was into it and was actually the turning point for him to realize his feelings for Marinette.

Chloe is a victim of emotional abuse from her mother? Well, let's shoehorn Zoe in and make Mylene's mom leave her to show that Chloe's turmoil is insignificant.

Gabriel Agreste is an awful parent? He's just a very sad man who misses his wife. Why don't you look at what Lila and Chloe are doing? These developing teenage girls are way more evil than a fully matured adult.

Chat Noir is a bad partner and constantly bothers Ladybug on the job? Let's take away the rest of the miraculous and make it so that Ladybug only has him to turn to. Perfect.

I was going to write an essay looking in on this further, but some people have already done it really well and I'm honestly too tired to care. A girl can't go through the Chloe Bourgeois tag in hopes of fanart without coming across the dumpster fire that is canon. Sigh.

[symbioticsimplicity]

I’m gonna have to name this little AU if I keep going, but I have no idea what I’d call it. Suggestions? Part three of these posts. AO3 link!

Part 4

                                                                 *

“Okayokayokayokay,” Steve said, half way through their second shared bottle of vodka, “I gotta know, if this’d happened, like, two years ago, would this have happened?”

Billy squinted at him, the cogs in his head almost visible as he tried to make Steve’s question make sense. Eddie and Tommy however seemed to latch right onto the meaning behind his slightly slurred words. 

“Noooooo.” Eddie declared with a shake of his head and a wave of his hands, “Nope. Woulda ended bloody ten minutes in. Tops.”

“The hell are we talking about?” Billy asked, rather than continuing to try to puzzle it out.

“This,” Tommy gestured to the group at large, “Us. Could we have all hung out in the same space like this.”

“That is not what he asked.” Billy muttered.

“It’s what he meant.” Tommy shrugged, laying back against the floor.

“Yeah!” Steve agreed, “What’dya think Bills?”

“First, don’t call me that.” Billy’s glare wasn’t half as intimidating with his cheeks all rosy like that, “Second, no way. I couldn’t stand any of you back then. Munson gets a pass, cause he had the hook up.”

Eddie pumped his fist in the air and Tommy made a wounded little noise of derision. 

“What? Why didn’t you like us!” He rolled so he was facing the group again, though still laying as comfortably as he could.

“Is that a real question?” Billy cocked a brow.

“Yes!”

“Because you were assholes.” Billy said as if it were obvious.

Tommy threw his hands into the air in exasperation and turned to Steve, gesturing emphatically, the pinching of his eyebrows saying everything his mouth wasn’t. 

“Uh, Billy, you were also kind of an asshole.” Steve replied for Tommy since he was too worked up to get the words out without his voice cracking like a middle schooler’s. 

“I had a reason to be.” Billy shot back, his expression crumbling into irritated resignation almost the moment the words left his lips. 

Tommy scoffed, and Steve knew the next words out of his mouth would be the kind that started fights and that was the last thing they needed at the moment. He moved without thinking, slapping a hand over Tommy’s mouth to both their surprise. 

But in for a penny, in for a pound.

“You haven’t gotten the time to develop a ‘don’t be a bitch’ filter yet, so I’m going to do it for you, just this once.” Steve said, leaning in so he didn’t have to speak at full volume, “Before you say anything I want you to think about if it’s going to get you punched in the nose or not. If the answer is ‘yes’ pick something else.”

Tommy glared at him, and licked the inside of his palm. The sensation had Steve pulling his hand back only to wipe it off on Tommy’s already ruined polo. 

“You’re so gross! Have you seen the shit I’ve killed today? You’re gonna catch turbo-AIDS.”

Eddie snorted, earning himself a shove from Steve. 

“Thanks, Steve.” Tommy pointedly flicked his attention back to Billy who was watching the whole thing while sipping a can of coke he’d pulled from the six pack nearby, “What makes you think we didn’t also have reasons to be assholes?”

Billy scoffed, glancing at Steve for a moment before he seemed to reconsider whatever he was thinking.

“Guess I don’t know, Tommy. What was your reasoning?” He pulled his legs up so he was hugging his arms around his shins, still holding the coke by his fingertips, “Can’t think of much a rich kid with two functional parents and plenty of friends could really be that upset about.”

Eddie made a noise somewhere between agreement and comradery, but otherwise kept surprisingly quiet.

Steve squeezed Tommy’s arm from where he’d left it after wiping his hand on him. Tommy’s self control was usually dubious at best, but his self control in regards to saying some genuinely hurtful shit was virtually non-existent. Or at least it had been the last time Steve had spent any meaningful time with him.

So he was surprised when Tommy took a breath and seemed to follow Steve’s advice about thinking before he spoke.

“Probably isn’t as good as your’s, whatever the fuck that is.” Tommy shrugged, “But that’s why. Growing up that way, that’s what people think you’re supposed to be like. You’ve got everything, you’re supposed to flaunt it. Everyone likes you, you’re supposed to act like it. You’ve got people who care, then you’re supposed to be happy.”

Tommy’s face was carefully blank, the same that he used when he was being more of an asshole than he had to be and didn’t want to feel it. The one that Steve had seen every time someone told him how much of a dick he was somewhere someone else might overhear it if he ever said ‘I’m sorry.’ 

“Just how it is. Fighting it gets you thrown out with the losers, and the losers hate you because you were an asshole. Steve here knows all about that. Sucked, didn’t it?”

Steve met Tommy’s stare, pursing his lips as he nodded.

“Yeah. Got better eventually. But yeah.”

“See, I’m not like Steve. I’m not a good person deep down, and I’d much rather be comfortable than do the right thing or whatever. Especially if doing the right thing still lands you here.”

He gestured to the room at large, illustrating how they were all more or less trapped together.

For a moment they were all quiet, Tommy’s words seeming heavier and heavier with each passing moment. Steve was about to change the subject, just to dispel some of the awkwardness that had coagulated around them but Billy beat him to it.

“I’m not either.” His voice was hushed, which was just as weird as hearing Tommy being quiet, “A good person. I’m not. Could have done a million other things, didn’t. It’s easier to just….let it all happen.”

Steve was sure he’d never heard Billy volunteer information like that. Despite having fallen into frequent proximity months ago, he still felt like he barely knew the guy. He knew more about Eddie who he’d known for far less time. 

“Well if anyone’s asking me, I think you’re all assholes.” Eddie’s easy quip slid in, easing some of the tension almost effortlessly, “But the thing about assholes? If you stretch ‘em, they can grow.”

“Munson, what the fuck?” Billy leaned away from him.

“It’s true!”

“It’s fucking gross!” Tommy threw the end of a Vienna sausage at him, “Do you just say shit like that on purpose or are you actually queer?”

“If I were, you, Tommy Hagan, would be the very last person I would tell.” Eddie lobbed the corner of a poptart back at him. “Last thing this minefield of a quartet needs is homophobia.”

Tommy squinted at Eddie, “Okay now, that one pisses me off. People just assume I hate the gays just because I’m an asshole about everything else.”

“Tommy, think about what you just said for a second.”

“It’s different! Being a dick to, like, regular people is one thing. The gays have enough shit going on, with the bible thumpers. And the whole bible thing is stupid anyway! I’ve read that thing front to back like three times and the whole Sodom and Gamorah thing was about child abuse so that’s a whole lot of people admitting they can’t fucking read. Which just makes Christians look stupid so it makes me even more pissed off cause if I’m gonna look stupid I want it to at least be for a problem I do have. I can’t do trig but I can at least fucking read--”

“Tommy,” Steve pushed him gently to jar him out of the rabbit hole he’d just gone down.

Eddie was staring at him like he was the single most baffling puzzle he’d ever seen, a growing sense of amazement lighting up a smile like the sun cresting the horizon. If there was anything Eddie Munson was, it was uncomfortably perceptive. Steve knew that well enough by now, but Tommy was just about to find out.

“Well, then, in that case, yeah, I’m kinda queer.” Eddie said, casual as anything, despite Billy choking on his soda beside him.

His shrewd eyes locked onto Tommy, and Steve knew he’d be picking apart each little individual bit of his reaction and running it through whatever process in his head equated to judgement. Tommy, to his credit, while looking absolutely floored Eddie had just dropped that like it was nothing, didn’t react much more.

“Okay.” He said once he’d gotten his voice back.

“Okay?” Eddie raised both eyebrows.

“Well what do you want me to do, a backflip?” He wiggled his injured leg, “Not really on the menu right now.”

Eddie grinned and shook his head, looking absolutely delighted, “Man, meeting you two is starting to fuck with me. Cool jocks. Who would have thought?”

“Crazy what can happen when you get to actually know someone.” Steve let out the breath he’d been holding that entire conversation through. 

“Yeah, crazy.” Eddie agreed.

                                                            *

By the time they finished the second bottle of vodka it was just after nine. Reasonably they should turn in for the night but Steve was still wired from the day’s action and he was pretty sure he wasn’t the only one. 

Eddie couldn’t settle at the best of times, while Billy and Tommy were tossing an orange back and forth. If Steve ignored the bloodstained rag wrapped around Tommy’s leg, and the distant sound of demobats, he could almost pretend they were having a sleep over. 

A sleepover with his ex-best friend, his rival-turned-ally, and his other rival-turned-friend.

Sure, totally normal.

“We should go to bed.” Steve suggested, mostly just so he could say he’d tried to be responsible.

“Unless you mean that in a sexy way, no. There’s no way I’m sleeping tonight.” Eddie replied without looking away from the window.

If Steve could hear the demobats, he was sure Eddie could too. His leg was bouncing and every line of his body screamed ‘tension’. Normally, Steve would have sat him down beside him, pet through his hair and got him talking about something until he chilled out a bit. But given present company…

Given present company? Would they really mind? Yeah, of course they would, they’d both give Steve a metric ton of shit. But would that be it? It wasn’t like they’d beat his ass over it, Eddie had just come out like three hours ago. Maybe Steve was just too far in his own head.

“Eddie?” He called, getting the other’s attention, although not in full, “C’mere for a sec.”

Eddie turned all the way back to him, biting his bottom lip like he was trying to tear the skin off it with just his incisors. So, even more freaked out than Steve had thought. There was no way he was going to prioritize being a coward over Eddie who clearly needed his help.

He sat down beside him, just a little too close as always. Steve scooted even closer, sliding his hand into Eddie’s hair and scratching just the way he knew he liked. Almost immediately his shoulders lost some of their tension.

“So, if you’re not going to sleep, and I’m not fucking you, what should we do instead?” Steve asked, earning himself a laugh.

“How about we play something.” Tommy suggested, despite the question not being addressed to him in the least.

“Like a sleepover?” Billy huffed what almost could have been called a laugh, “What’re we, sixteen year old girls?”

“I could braid your hair too, Sunshine~” Eddie winked at him.

“Stop calling me that.”

“Like you don’t love it.” Eddie grinned right back.

Steve was surprised to see a blush rise on Billy’s cheeks, though he didn’t get to see it long before he was turning his head away.

“If you two wanna stop flirting, I was gonna say two truths and a lie. That one’s always fun.”

“Sounds great, Billy you should go first.” Eddie couldn’t help but tease.

Steve pulled on the baby hairs at the base of his neck a little, getting a hiss out of him and a poke to the side for his trouble.

“Fine.” Billy turned back to the group and held up three fingers, “I have killed a man, I will kill again, and it burns when I pee.”

Tommy looked stricken and Steve could relate. He knew at least one of those was true, although he felt obligated to argue that while Billy’s body had certainly killed someone, he himself hadn’t. Though, he supposed from Billy’s perspective that line probably didn’t feel as clear. 

“Second one’s a lie.” Eddie answered, his voice deceptively calm.

“Munson wins.” Billy laid back down and tossed the orange to himself.

“Wait, no, hold on, back it up.” Tommy mimed pumping the breaks, looking just as goofy as his dad did when he did that, “Can we talk about that first one?”

“The game was two truths and a lie, not two truths a lie and an investigation. Mind your own business Hagan.”

“Nah, man you made that my business.” 

“He didn’t kill anyone.” Steve said firmly, staring Billy down even though he wasn’t looking in his direction as though daring him to argue, “He was possessed.”

“Possessed? Like Linda Blair possessed?”

“Worse.” Billy answered shortly. 

“First monsters, now demons? How in the hell has all this shit been happening without anyone knowing until the town literally split in half?” Tommy blinked, his head reeling back as he tried to make that make sense, “You’re good now though, right? Not possessed anymore?”

“Mostly.” Billy answered cryptically.

“I’m trying really hard not to flip a shit here, and you’re really not fucking helping Hargrove.”

“I don’t know how else to put it. It’s not in me anymore, but I can still feel where it was. I can still hear it, if it’s close. I can still do some of the things it could. Still don’t feel hum--” Billy cut himself off abruptly.

Eddie and Steve locked eyes across the circle. Later, they’d deal with that later.

“How about we play something else?” Steve suggested.

                                                          *

“This one is easy.” Steve explained, “We go in a circle, we say things we haven’t done and if you’ve done the thing someone is saying, you put a finger down. Last one to put all their fingers down, wins.”

“This is stupid.” Billy grumbled for the third time.

“But you’re still playing~” Eddie leaned over to bump his shoulder to Billy’s. 

The blonde didn’t reply.

“I’ll go first this time.” Tommy all but decided, “Hmmm, never have I ever gone skydiving.”

None of them put a finger down, if anything Billy just stared at Tommy as though he could make him pick up his disapproval like radio waves.

“Right,” Steve thought for a moment, “Never have I ever dyed my hair.”

Eddie and Billy both put a finger down while he and Tommy kept their ten.

“Oooh what color?” Eddie eagerly asked.

Billy hesitated a long moment before answering, “Pink.”

Eddie’s head tilted as his smile stretched wider, “You’d look good in pink, sunshine.” 

Billy rolled his eyes, “Never have I ever voluntarily worn a polo shirt.”

“Targeted!” Tommy whined, putting a finger down as Steve shook his head and did the same.

“I’m trying to win, Hangman. Skydiving? Seriously?”

Tommy paused at the use of his old nickname. Steve hadn’t thought Billy knew that one, given that Tommy had gotten it years before he’d come to town. Hangman Hagan, they’d called him for years, because fucking with him was tantamount to a social death sentence. Tommy had never been one to simply get even, no, when he set about to ruin someone, he ruined them. As inescapable as the hangman.

It seemed to have flipped a switch in him, Steve could see the moment his competitive nature lit up in his eyes.

“Alright, Sunshine, let’s go then.”

“It’s Munson’s turn.” Billy smirked back, nodding his head over at him.

God help them, Eddie was wearing the same damn smile. As much as Steve cared about them each individually (and wasn’t that a thought), he hoped they never hung out like this again. It was too much chaos per square inch, if this kept up something would end up on fire, he just knew it. 

“Okay, never have I ever played basketball.”

Steve, Tommy, and Billy all put a finger down. 

“Low blow Munson.”

“Really, not even once?”

“No wonder you can’t run for more than three minutes!”

“Your turn, Van Hagan.” Eddie said around his shit eating grin.

“Fine, you wanna throw cheap shots? Never have I ever kissed a guy.”

Eddie made a face and put down a finger. But so did Steve, and so too did Billy.

“All of--”

“Put a finger down, Tommy.” And God help him now Steve was smiling too, couldn’t help it.

Now it was Eddie’s turn to toss his hands in the air and shout a the top of his lungs.

“I knew it!” He barked as Tommy put a finger down, “Birds of a feather, every fuckin’ time!”

“I’ve got to admit I’m surprised that all of us have.” Steve said, much more calmly than he felt, because all of them had kissed a guy before. If he thought about that for more than a few seconds at a time, he might actually implode.

Eddie’s head whipped over to Billy who was looking anywhere other than the group. He hadn’t tried to take back his answer, however, so that was encouraging.

“I’ve gotta know, who?” Eddie asked the room at large.

“Tommy, duh.” Steve replied as though it were obvious, “How else would I have caught that?”

Eddie nodded, still smiling like an idiot, “Right, yeah, good point.”

“Steve.” Tommy answered, “And, uh,” His eyes flicked over to Billy and Steve almost choked on his tongue.

“Seriously?! When?!” He managed to get out, though his voice sounded like he was being strangled.

Eddie laughed so hard he ended up wiggling around on the floor, pure joy erupting from him. 

“Like, right after he got here? We met at a party before we met at school.”

“Crystal’s party? The one I was sick for? The one with that hot blonde that you wouldn’t stop talking about for a week? The hot blonde you met was Billy?”

“Uh huh.” 

“You talked about me?” Billy’s smile rode the line between the genuine one Steve had seen glimpses of recently and the trashy smirk he’d worn all through high school.

Tommy’s face was beet red, “Might’ve.” He muttered.

“Sounds like you had a torch burning. What changed?”

“You talked.”

Eddie had been half way to sitting up but immediately lost the battle.

[yardsards]

I hear you and I agree with you but also I raise you: queerplatonic the spares?

assuming you're talking about this post that i made a while back but blew up again recently?

i got a very similar ask back when i first made the post (which is buried somewhere in the depths of my blog bc tumblr search sucks) and i'll say now approximately what i said back then:

that kind of sucks too, actually.

the main problem with the "pair the spares" and "everyone must be paired" tropes is that they generally imply that it's not a happy ending unless everyone is in a committed monogamous romantic relationship. that characters (and real people, by extension) are somehow incomplete without a romantic partner, just like a sad single sock.

and removing the word "romantic" (or even any of the other adjectives as well) from those sentences and allowing them to include queerplatonic partnerships too doesn't really make the idea that much better. doing that doesn't break down the walls, just widens them a bit so that more people can be allowed in.

like yeah, one of the problems with the "you're incomplete without a romantic partner" idea is that it excludes people who can't feel romance. but that's far from the ONLY problem with it (in fact, the term "amatonormativity" wasn't even coined with aromantics specifically in mind, iirc).

it tells single people that they're not good enough, that they're incomplete. it tells single people who want a relationship that this isn't just a matter of "aw bummer, you want this thing but don't have it yet" but is rather a massive fundamental issue in their life that must take priority and be solved posthaste. it tells people who are happily single (including happily single alloromantics. because yes, they exist. not everyone who feels romantic attraction necessarily thinks that getting into a traditional romantic relationship about those feelings is right for them) that they're just deluding themselves and that they truly would be happiest in a partnership. it tells people who are in unhappy relationships that it would be better to stay than to become single. it says that relationships must look a certain way. it says that friendship is insufficient and is always inherently lesser than a partnership.

and allowing "partnership" and "relationship" to include queerplatonic as well as romantic doesn't fix a lot of those

amatonormativity is a cage that hurts those who can fit themselves in it as well as those who can't. widening the cage to allow more people in won't fix that. and there will always be people who don't fit inside the cage no matter how much you widen it. for example, non-partnering aros exist and would still be excluded here.

(and on another note: "pair the spares" and "everyone must be paired" generally are used derisively to refer to like. when characters are shoddily shoved together last minute because the writers couldn't figure out what else to do with them. it's generally just like, bad writing. and while i would LOVE more queerplatonic relationships, i want them to actually be GOOD, not just be some sloppy seconds leftover from a romantic ship.)

anyway i got rambly and possibly confusing there, and went Way Too Deep about what was almost definitely just a silly lighthearted ask. but i have so many Thoughts on the matter

there's just like. this mindset i notice (primarily in newer/younger aromantics who have just begun to question amatonormativity). where they see queerplatonic relationships and just think "ah, so this is just our version of a romantic relationship?" and don't really think about the complexities. ignoring the fact that some social constructs around romance are simply Not Good and that they will not become good if you separate them from romance. and ignoring that queerplatonic relationships are not always just "like a romantic relationship but minus the romance".

like it's a mindset that i understand (and i think was a lot like how i thought when i was younger and first figuring out these concepts). because this shit is CONFUSING and hard to explain and complicated to think about and so hard to unpack. so i hope i'm not coming across as rude to anon or anyone like that. it's just kinda something that's on my mind a good bit so i went off on a ramble, y'know?

edit: dug up the old post with a similar ask

[alexanderlightweight]

First of all, how are you and your partner doing with the puppy? I hope you have a great day

Second, maybe for writing Wendsday some HOTI!Alec? So I have the belief that there is alot of extra classes and training along with experience to be a HOI that may be known to high up shadowhunters but not really talked about to anyone else (especially obvious siblings). That they have to know a bit of everything from politics to seduction to torture for information. Thus Alec shocking everyone with his knowledge and experience, but to him it is common. So what do you think?

hey! yes wednesday was a great day and today is also a good day, not a lot of sleep but more time to write! my partner is doing great except that @saeths keeps hitting their posting limit.

Nightshade finally has his pool back (it's a new one but don't tell him that, he popped the last one) and is relieved because it's rather hot here and we both dislike it. But he's very happy and snuggly now that he can cool off (which means damp cuddles but oh well, c'est la vie)

I completely agree with this and I have feelings especially because of a specific part in the show and it went a bit differently (i feel like i say this almost every time) but i hope you enjoy!

--

Alec scoffs, derision loud as Imogen pauses from where she’s proudly handing over the Institute to her grandson.

“A problem, Mr. Lightwood?” She asks, an insult because Alec is a commander, and she knows it.

“Has Jace Herondale completed his tests?” Alec asks calmly, “has he been ranked as a nephilim commander? Either by a test supervised by the clave, or during a mission led by our Elders?”

There is silence and Imogen glares at him, furious as she tries to figure out a way to shut him down.

“Now, Mr. Light—”

“I’m a commander, Imogen.” Alec reminds her, because while she is Inquisitor, she is not and never has been an active duty shadowhunter. Imogen has made politics the bed she sleeps in, and Alec isn’t nice enough to let her rest there. “Is there a reason that you’re ignoring that? The loss of my Institute doesn’t take away my rank, or were you hoping to ignore that as well?”

“Commander, then!” Imogen grits out, “this nonsense—”

“Is it nonsense?” Alec asks, interrupting her and he smirks, “what does your grandson know about running an Institute, Imogen? Or are you just hoping for a golden little angel attacking everything you point at? Because the boy you are trying to promote is a soldier. He’s not a leader.”

Alec gives Jace the look his actions and inactions deserve.

“Jace Herondale, have you completed your training to be a commander? Do you know how to run an Institute? Are you prepared to be responsible for the lives of almost four hundred shadowhunters? To keep the peace in the shadowworld? Do you have the strategic knowledge of how to form teams and how to hunt on the various terrains? Are you capable of holding your temper during negotiations?” Because Jace isn’t and they both know it, “I was raised as your brother, Jace Herondale and I know that you haven’t earned the rank of Commander, let alone to lead an Institute.”

Alec steps back and he nods to the hunters — some of them ones he handpicked and trained and so many more than slunk in on the tailcoats of Lydia and Aldertree.

“I see that my expertise is no longer needed or wanted here. I’ll see about my transfer or whether I’ll retire in a few days, be sure to tell Jia to expect my messages.”

“You’re leaving?” Imogen looks more shocked than Jace, “but you’re needed to—”

“To what? Run the Institute while Jace gets the credit? To stay in his shadow and behave, a little shadow commander for you to tug around and blame things on? I’m done.” Alec scoffs, “I have better options than lingering here while you try to tear the downworld apart. If you wish to talk to me, you can submit a formal request to the High Warlock of Brooklyn, it will be his choice if I can spare the time.”

Because Alec has to make a decision and he needs to make it now.

The one who needs him the most right now is Magnus and that is who Alec will stay by, remain by. So, he leaves, knowing that anything he needs Magnus will get him and that even the clave can’t keep his weapons from coming when Alec calls.

Alec sits on the balcony, because he’s tired and sore and his very soul and body feel battered and bartered with.

“Imogen still hiding the soul sword information?” Magnus asks him, coming out to run cool hands and rings over Alec’s face.

“I don’t know.” Alec shrugs, “I’m no longer an attaché of the New York Institute, Jace is it’s leader now.”

Magnus is staring at him, something soft and pained but also viciously gleeful. It’s not that Magnus enjoys seeing him exhausted and worn thin, but Alec knows that Magnus enjoys knowing that he’s right.

“Yes, yes. You told me so.” Alec manages to mumble out, faceplanting in Magnus’ chest and there’s a soft tut above him.

“Darling, I’d never be so crass as to point it out when you’re this upset. Though, if you’re bringing it up. How unattached are you, would you say?”

“If the Institute or the clave want to talk to me, they’ll need to request a meeting with you first.” Alec tells him, which is essentially saying that he belongs to Magnus’ now, in his entirety.

“Oh, sweetheart. You really do bring me the nicest presents.”

[princess-of-the-corner]

Questions for Princess Bee au, since you said you were following but soft rewriting events in S4 and S5, if these are things that you've thought of:

How does Lila's whole 'three mom scam + lair in the catacombs' thing work? Are you ignoring it bc of how nonsensical it is? Bc like, the only way I personally can think to make that plot work at all, au or cannon, is by using that 'Lila has been a Senti the whole time who was made a long time ago with the purpose of stirring up shit and antagonizing Miraculous users and that how she's pulling everything off' idea that someone brought up a while ago.

Is the Derision prank being ignored or rewritten? I know you hate it and the episode, and Chloe being Heather Chandler levels of cruel and feared pre-Origins is not gonna be a thing in this, but the prank itself doesn't seem much worse than some of the stuff Chloe did in S1, at least to me, so im curious what you're gonna do with that

((is Kim still gonna be dumber than two turnips in a rain barrel?))

What happened with Gabriel? Are you keeping him going full bastard post-Miracle Queen, or going to go the HC route with him? If you're settled on the Wish being used by Adrienette to stop him, I'm assuming he soundly lost, no statue or being remembered as a hero for him. Is he in jail?

((Also, is Natalie just dead if Gabriel didn't get the Wish?))

If you're keeping Feligami but making it a bit healthier, are you working with them and Adrien being Sentimonsters, or is that being thrown out?

Okay so! Lotta things!

Lila may be put on a slight backburner for now. I will scrap the three moms plot, because that's just??? How the fuck does she pull that off?? As far as Canon, she was still a teen who was going down a dark path and in this AU she unfortunately didn't get help and has continued said dark path. How much she's done in the meantime is up in the air, but having her still as a con artist is probably on the table. That said, I need to hammer out her motivations and what she plans to do should she get the Miraculous because like. As petty as she is I'm not going to say she's still miffed about Marinette calling her on her shit.

Derision is.... kinda both? I have a rewrite for this anyway but short version: yes Chloé was a bully and pulled pranks. This was another prank. No, not everyone was scared of her it's still the Origins-level and the prank wasn't quite as cruel because no feelings were involved(also maybe fake spiders instead of real ones). I'm saving Kim's character by 1.) having him semi-unaware of the prank? LIke Chloé tells him they're pulling a prank and he's on board but he doesn't know what's in the box and also 2.) afterward he's like 'yeah no that one was mean' instead of 'it's just a prank bro!'. Mari was hurt by it but not Super Extremely Traumatized™, and it has nothing to do with her stalking Adrien(that was just her being a bit lovesick and she addresses it in a much healthier way another time)

Gabriel is.... a bit up in the air. I am going with his Season 4-5 self so I'm not redeeming him. I can't /quite/ figure out a way he'd win that would have Mari and Adrien resort to using the Wish to stop him without having him use the Wish first and they reverse it. So either they reverse his Wish, or Gabriel's Wish in the first place included blocking all of the other Miraculous Users from being able to use the Miraculous so they can't undo his Wish. I'll debate on what to do with this one, and we also debate on Emilie and Nathalie's fates. If they reverse the Wish then Gabriel's probably alive but in jail and the Team would spend time finding how to fix Emilie and Nathalie(probably gonna be nice and fix them). If it's just Gabe gets the Wish and blocks them from fixing it, then he's dead but Nathalie and Emilie are fixed. Sill have to debate on /how/ he manages to get the Wish because I don't want Marinette to be a fucking moron but ya know.

I am working with the Sentikids plot! But I'm adjusting a few things!!

1.) Adrien, Felix and Kagami are Special and the other Sentis aren't Sapient Beings, so there's no moral issue over how many Mari killed or Felix making tool ones like Red Moon and OUAT. With this also comes the option to free them from their Amok's control.

2.) I'm having Tomoe be a lot better. She loves Kagami, though she did have her business deals with Gabriel. She's not as much a part of the supervillain thing past 'Gabriel has the Peacock and he can snap my daughter out of existence so I will do what he asks'. She's far from perfect, but her hands are tied for a while. And even when Felix gets the Peacock, not only is she unsure of if Felix is a threat to Kagami or not, but she's also in too deep and if Gabriel goes down so does she

3.) I'm bringing Felix's whole thing down a LOT of notches. He doesn't hate all of Humanity, he just hates the few in specific who treat him and the others like tools. So in Emotion, he only kills Gabriel and Tomoe, knowing Gabriel is like Colt and assuming Tomoe is as well when he finds out Kagami is a Senti. He does realize he's wrong later when he's eavesdropping and trying to find ways to get Kagami out of her situation and sees that her mother loves her. Their romance is also more slowburn instead of immediately hooking up.

Also an overall change: Adrien knows about what's going on and we have a proper reveal goddamn it!!

[ten-cent-sleuth]

A Galling Yoke, Part 10

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for the Taking the Blame / Framed / Admitting to Something You Didn’t Do and Good intentions that end in bad results squares on my July Break Bingo card

See this post for main info, including a masterlist and synopsis. See this post for warnings.

Word Count: 2.9k

Pairing: Sherlock Holmes x f!Reader

Rating: Mature (for potential triggers, not for sexual content)

BEWARE THE CONTENT WARNINGS POSTED ABOVE.

Sleep evaded you for two days straight. The first night, you did not even bother lying down; you knew rest would not come after such a thought had passed through your mind, so you focused on inspecting, scrutinising, picking apart and building up that thought. There was no escaping it. As far as your certainty went, William was the killer. Well, the hirer of the killer; if he was guilty of any felony because of you, you had to do whatever you could to keep him from being punished for it.

As soon as the day broke, you sent a note to Jotyard, summoning your father posthaste. You tried to spend the rest of that day productively but were not nearly as successful as you would hope. You then tried to spend the night asleep but were entirely unsuccessful, listless and anxious as you were. However, Lord Coltidge arrived in the small hours before dawn, so your tossing and turning was not without reward.

Eschewing any preamble, you greeted your father in your sitting room with, “You want me to be blamed for the murder, do you not?”

The earl looked mildly surprised. “Yes. William wanted the true manner of Edmund’s death to come out, but my heir cannot be found guilty of murder. We compromised: I agreed to hire a detective to ‘uncover’ the truth, and he agreed to accept whatever culprit the detective could identify.”

Scowling, you nodded. You knew your father well enough that he did not have to explain that even as he drafted this agreement with your brother, he had planned to shift the playing board here and there so that William would not be the identified culprit. When you dredged up the affair and the mistress, Lord Coltidge found the perfect alternative: you.

And as your mind ran through the possible avenues leading forth from this moment, you found yourself, for the first time in decades, aligning with your father’s point of view.

If only Lord Coltidge had hired another investigator. Any other investigator. Then, perhaps you could guide this case to an open-ended conclusion with no concrete suspects, no arrests. But Sherlock Holmes would not rest until the case was resolved to his satisfaction. Generally, that meant a guilty party that made sense, and the only suspect who would make more sense than the caring brother of the deceased’s neglected wife was the neglected wife herself.

With a sigh, you clasped your hands in front of you and met your father’s wary, watchful gaze. “Allow me until the end of the week.”

To your grim amusement, the earl looked startled and confused for the first time in this conversation. “To do what, Daughter?” he questioned.

“That is my business,” you said, deriving some twisted gratification from finally allowing yourself to express the sternness and derision you felt towards your father. “All you need know is that by the end of the week, I shall go to Scotland Yard and confess as the murderess of Edmund Sulyard. My brother’s name—nor yours—shall not pass my lips.”

Lord Coltidge’s jaw actually dropped. Not wide open, but still. You almost laughed.

“Do we have an agreement?” you demanded.

“You— I—” The earl shook himself. “Yes, child. I shall not interfere with the rest of your week. Yes.”

Heavens, you couldn’t recall the last time he had called you “child”. It might have pleased you, in other circumstances. It should have enraged you, in these. Yet you found yourself feeling nothing at all. Pursing your lips, you gestured towards the door, and Lord Coltidge actually managed to bow and fare you well before departing.

You leaned your back against the wall, pressed your hands to your face, and breathed.

William or you. It was William or you.

It could not be William.

He had his life ahead of him, gold and aglitter. Yours lay in tatters behind you. Heir apparent to powerful titles and prosperous estates, handsome and kind and educated, he had a future. A disobedient and disregarded daughter, a childless widow on the shelf, you only had a past.

It had to be you.

Thus determined, you awayed to 221 Baker Street and pounded on the door as soon as you possibly could. It was still too early for a house call in the eyes of etiquette, but Sherlock would at least be up and would not mind.

Or if he did, he would have much bigger problems to preoccupy him soon.

“Your ladyship?” the detective himself greeted you upon opening his door, brow furrowed. “I fear I have no updates to—”

“I might have one,” you interjected, your heart starting to thaw from the numbness that had encased it mere hours ago.

Sherlock blinked but stepped aside to let you in.

The moment your eyes landed on the case board, the first hints of actual distress hit you: a wave of nausea, a sob building in your lungs, a tremble in the bad knee. Somehow, your fate was the easiest thing in the world to accept until you were here, in Sherlock’s flat, in Sherlock’s presence.

Drifting to the board, you pressed a hand to your chest to still the heart railing against you. Why must you suffer for what William did? it raged. Why must you sacrifice everything when you did nothing? Give in! Give in and tell Sherlock the TRUTH!

Your blood stampeded, your thoughts screamed, your vision swam. You wanted to give in. Angels above, you so desperately wanted to give in—

“No,” you whispered harshly, your hand curling into a fist at your chest. William was your brother. What was wanted didn’t matter. You loved him. It could not be him. You loved him. It had to be you.

“My lady?”

You turned around. Sherlock was watching you but was keeping his distance. You smiled.

“Forgive me for barging in on you in such a way, sir.”

“Of course; it is no inconvenience to me. You are always… That is, you are here about the case?”

“Yes.” It has to be you. Has to be, has to be, has to be. “May I trouble you for some tea? I believe this discussion shall warrant it.”

The furrow in his brow deepened. “Certainly, my lady,” he muttered, clearly hesitant even as he shuffled off to the kitchen.

You surprised yourself with how swiftly you moved once he was out of sight; though your breath trembled in your throat, your hands were steady as they dismantled the board of clues and ideas. And for once, you were glad the winter chill had a knack for stealing through London homes, for Sherlock’s fireplace was already blazing to ward it off. Throwing the numerous notes, photos, miscellaneous papers, and strips of string into the flame was the work of an instant.

“Your ladyship, what—?”

Your heart whirled around in your breast, but you did not move at his voice. In his haste to reach the hearth, he jostled you, and still you remained transfixed on the charring materials, on the puffs of smoke they gave as your case—your husband’s case—disappeared from all but your and Sherlock’s memories.

“Have you gone mad?” he cried, looking up at you from where he kneeled on the floor, his eyes wide and his hair askew. “It will take me days to rewrite and reorder all of my notes! And the coroner’s report—the anonymous letter— I have no copies of those! What evidence am I to present to Scotland Yard when I find the killers?”

You stared down at him. You wanted to comfort him, to reassure him that he would not be found lacking because he would have an unresisting confessant, but you had returned to feeling numb. More so, in fact, than when you had accepted your fate with your father. Indeed, how could you open your mouth to speak when your lips, your tongue, your jaw felt entirely detached from you?

Another moment passed with Sherlock’s bewilderment shrinking to small, soft concern. Climbing to his feet, he grasped at you and murmured, “Are you all right, my lady? Do you feel ill? Has something happened?” Close up, you could see his nostrils flare. “Has somebody… Did somebody tell you to do this? Have you been threatened?”

Heavens, he was so close. His touch was so cold.

“No,” you whispered. “No to all of your questions. I simply…”

“What?” he asked, his voice quieter and harsher than yours had been. “Simply what?”

You stared. It simply has to be you.

Sherlock let go of you with such revulsion that you almost staggered back like you’d been physically pushed. “I do not understand,” he said. “I do not understand at all! If your actions are your own, not born of illness, can you not explain them to me? If they are rational, can you not share the rationale? I trust you, my lady, but not blindly!”

At that, your heart, still beating against you in rebellion, quailed at last. “I ought to leave you now,” you said, moving back towards the door. “I see you need time to regain control of yourself, and it would not do for me to witness a man’s loss of temper.”

With a scoff, he stepped into your way. “It would not do?” he snarled. “Would that I were more surprised that you would turn your back to reality and hie away under the guise of decorum!”

You frowned but did not reply. Your nonverbal reaction seemed to be enough for him, however.

“Oh, yes,” he said, dry as the unforgiving desert. “Less than a fortnight ago, you accused me of always hiding behind logic, but it was not long in our reacquaintance before I saw that you have taken to hiding behind etiquette. The girl I knew—my friend, my dearest friend—would never have feared finding out the truth, whatever it was, whatever it cost!”

Hiding? “Act not like you know who I am,” you spat. Hiding? “Nobody—nobody—knows who I am.” Sometimes it feels I am the only one not hiding, exposed and alone.

He scoffed again, this time with the full force of his disdain. “Perhaps nobody else, but I am different. My name is Sherlock Holmes. It is my business to know what other people do not know.”

“Oh, you are not all that different.” You rolled your eyes to punctuate your utter disinterest. “You may piece together my habits and my history within minutes—within seconds. But that is all external, all merely the world-and-me. You know naught what matters!”

Shaking his head, Sherlock stepped towards you. “No! No, you only think that because I have not commented on what I have noticed since we have reconnected in London.”

You shook your head as well, more surprised by his desperation than by his condescension.

He stepped closer. “Dismiss me not with so apathetic a face, madam,” he warned. “I have refrained from making deductions about the changes in you, but if I must prove myself to be a detective worthy of an answer—” His arm shook with rage as he thrust it towards the fireplace.

“Sherlock,” you tried; no gold he spun from straw could change your mind.

“The first peculiarity,” he cut in, “that stood out to me was the lack of footmen. It took me a few days to verify there were no others, but yes, it seems the butler is the only male in your entire household.”

“Sherlock—”

“Speaking of Mr Rogers, the man has not stopped watching me closely and shooting me dark looks, threatening looks, in all my visits to your home. He is not the only protective member on your staff: after our disagreement in the kitchen, after you watched my experiment with electricity and then fled, your cook saw your distress and castigated me for upwards of ten minutes for apparently causing it. I have never known employees to be so easily provoked on behalf of their employer!”

You had no response for that; you had not even been aware…

“And”—he waved an index finger in the air—“that employer is not what I expected either. I noted you did not withhold criticism of Sulyard as a person yet avoided talking about his effect on you. You did not want Mrs Rogers talking about it, either; you interrupted her—rather unlike you—when she wished to comment on his treatment of you.”

You started to feel lightheaded. “Sherlock…”

“In fact,” he exclaimed, “that you would fall down the stairs entirely by accident was dubious to me from the start—exacerbated by your distress when I asked about your injuries. Each peculiarity can and was taken as a quirk of an individual, but now that I am considering them as pieces of a whole, an image starts to form. Your household is defensive, you are guarded, because your husband was not merely self-centred and foolish as many husbands are, but actively violent and—”

His forehead creased, his lips parted, as he turned slowly towards you. The realisation in his eyes made you sick.

Sherlock, whimpered your heart as it plummeted to the floor and shattered.

He stepped forwards, and though you wanted to step back, your feet were cemented to the floor. Your every limb felt heavy, in fact; your every pore felt torn open, your every hair pulled to attention, your every layer wrenched out of your grip.

“My lady…” There were dozens of questions contorting his face, all of them based on Is it true?

“No, no, no,” you whispered. This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t… After everything you’d done to keep him—to keep anyone—from finding out… To keep yourself from ever having to think about…

Shoulders tense but hands wide open, he stepped into your space and reached for you.

Abruptly, you were not numb anymore.

“No!” you yelled, batting away his hands. “How dare you? How dare you?”

“Petal,” he tried again, his voice cracking.

And suddenly, all you could think of was William. Dear, despicable, beloved, wretched brother! The protest in your chest flared back to life: Why must you suffer for what William did? Why must you sacrifice everything when you did nothing? Your eyes stung with liquid bitterness as you grabbed the edge of a chair and doubled over with the pain of so many injuries. Lord Coltidge marrying you off to an abusive blackguard without a thought for your needs or wishes. William Voss ruining his life, ostensibly for your sake, without even consulting you. And most mortifying of all, Sherlock Holmes stripping you of the bandages covering a thousand wretched wounds in his tactless attempts to prove you were known.

“How dare you,” you sobbed angrily.

“I… I simply—”

“What?” you snapped. “Simply what? You simply think you can fix any problem, mend any tragedy, by simply being the smartest person in the room? I am sorry to disappoint you, sir! Cleverness and presumption shall do naught for me! For I am finished, wholly finished, with those who think my life is theirs to dig through, theirs to upheave, simply because they see solutions or—or pathways that I do not. My problems are mine. How dare he— That is, how dare you— How dare anyone dismiss what I wish to do about them?”

Miserably, brokenly, Sherlock whispered your name—your real name, your Christian name, the name he had not uttered to you in fifteen years. Oh, you had struck him—laid him out, cut him open, though you hadn’t intended to. You squeezed your eyes shut and allowed a few tears to leak out. He had not wanted to hurt you either, you knew; nor had your brother or, really, your father. The only one who had ever meant you harm—and enjoyed inflicting it, at that—was your husband. And still, and still, and still.

What was wanted didn’t matter.

“I… I apologise, Sherlock,” you croaked out, peeling your eyes open. “It is… It is humiliating for you to learn of it this way, but I…should not be angry. It is good that you know. Now, you have your motive.”

He looked stricken. “You do not mean that. You cannot—”

“I can, and I do,” you told him tiredly. Moments ago, it had felt relieving, lightening, to react fully and deeply to your brother’s crime and its implications for the first time since it had been revealed or confirmed to you, but now, you only felt weariness. “I murdered Edmund Sulyard for beating and belittling me all the years of our marriage, and you cannot prove otherwise.”

Watching Sherlock’s jaw work and his eyes flit about, you knew there was no coming back from this. You had thought the impassioned conversation in your sitting room had damaged your relationship? That did not even look like a fight anymore! From now on, Sherlock would see you as a criminal if he believed your confession or a lying saboteur if he did not, and either way…he would see you differently now that he knew.

Either way…his friendship was lost to you.

Suddenly, you could no longer stand watching him. Watching him stare and struggle. Watching him slip away from you.

So you ran. So you ran despite your knee’s protests and Sherlock’s shouts alike, you ran until you had turned enough corners to have lost any pursuit he would have mounted, you ran to hail a hansom to drive you home. So you dragged yourself up your front steps, you pushed past the Rogerses’ greetings and questions, you limped to your chambers. So you slid to the floor, you wept and, God forgive you, you hid.

Hi. :) Thank you for reading, and thank you @marveldcmistress for betaing. I know this chapter is a doozy; I only hope it’s not horribly done. Feedback is always welcome! (And as always, a cookie to anyone who can spot the Arthur Conan Doyle reference.)

[kiarabanetmi]

Chloe’s Arc vs Felix’s Arc

Chloe and Felix share many similarities as characters and yet their stories have completely different outcomes and I want to try and analyze why. I think both of them share similar stories with different outcomes to show how different actions taken by similar people can have drastically different results

On a surface level it may seem like Felix and Chloe aren’t similar, and yes they do have many differences between them that make them different people entirely, but they both have many of the same types of background and suffered similar kinds of abuse and developed negative mindsets about the world because of it

They are both rich children both to influential families that shaped their lives. Each of them had an abusive parent but in different ways: Chloe’s mother abandoned her and her father indulged her bad behavior to avoid being abused himself. Felix’s father abused Felix mentally and emotionally and even Physically since he would use Felix’s miraculous to control what he what physically couldn’t and couldn’t do. We don’t know about how his mother raised him, but I saw an interesting post on Twitter analyzing a moment from the play Felix and Kagami did (it’s linked somewhere on Twitter but I’m having trouble finding it so I can’t give credit where it’s due). The bunny that Felix holds at one point is supposed to represent Felix’s mother (there’s a screenshot somewhere of Amelie wearing a rabbit mask) and the moment where the arm is torn represents that his father abused her as well. This may have caused her to be indulgent of her son to try and make him happy, especially after her husband died, since they were both finally free of his abuse and cruelty

They both have incredible power and financial means as well as a warped view of the world due to their upbringing. Chloe sees everyone as beneath her cause that’s how she feels better about herself and how her mother acted and encouraged Chloe to act when she was actually around. Felix suffered abuse from someone who had power over him, developing a cold and closed off personality, putting others down as well, unwilling to allow himself to open himself up to be used and abused again, causing him to look down on others cause he was trying to protect himself (and his mother).

They also both tried to Sabotage Adrien’s relationship’s at some point too. Chloe tried so she could have Adrien, her “prince,” all to herself and could torture Marinette; Felix did this for unknown reasons but I hypothesize it was a combination of trying to get HawkMoth’s attention by making Adrien’s friends angry enough to be akumatized and out of jealousy that Adrien seemed to have loving friends. Or maybe in his head he also thought he was protecting Adrien from people who were just out to use him rather than actually cared about him, since he never really had any friends of his own and couldn’t believe they were genuine (but that’s my own headcannon, there’s no proof of it).

Adrien also both gave them second chances. In Chloe’s case, it started in Season 2 in Despair Bear. Then later in Derision after he learned the Hell she put Marinette through the years before in school (we’ll come back to that one in a bit). In Felix’s debut episode, Adrien did confront him on what he did, and forgave Felix when he apologized, but only after he made it clear that what Felix did was NOT OK and would not forgive him if he did it again.

Here’s where their story lines start to divulge: what they do after Adrien calls each of them out. They both take different routes. Chloe still bullied Marinette’s and the others and tries to keep Adrien to herself (which really only actively starts up again after the Season 3 finale). In the season 4 episode Gabriel Agreste, she plans to reveal to Gabriel the classes attempts to help Adrien escape his home (and by extension reveal Marinette’s feelings) so he’ll take Adrien of school and make sure only she can visit him. In that very same episode Felix comes back.

Now, on the surface, it seems like Felix hasn’t changed. He’s cold and closed off, gives Gabriel a fake ring back, makes fun of Chloe and avoids interacting with everyone else, including Kagami. But here’s the thing no one notices: he’s not actively trying to sabotage Adrien’s relationships this episode. When he and Kagami are alone in the room, he doesn’t say anything to try and manipulate her, not try to make Adrien look bad. Granted, he probably had more important things on his mind, investigating Gabriel, but it’s still a small improvement. Then there’s the BIG moment in the episode where Gabriel tries to trick Felix and akumatize him: Felix flat out REJECTS it.

This is significant for two reasons: at this point in the timeline, this is only the third time we’ve seen a character actually reject an akumatization based on will alone. The first, funnily enough, was Chloe back in season 3, Miraculer. She refused to be Akumatized and manipulated to try and be better per Ladybug’s advice. The second person to do it was Alya in Gang of Secrets earlier in season 4. Felix (at this point) is only the third character to do this. That’s huge

The second reason is he outright refused to be akumatized at all, rejecting any power offer. In his debut episode, it seemed like he wanted to work with HawkMoth, but here he’s not. Outright refused powers from someone who can literally give them. (Side note, Gabriel is also threatening Felix’s life here by threatening to make him disappear, since he had the peacock miraculous repaired now, and I have a theory as to why it broke in the first place). In the previous episode Queen Banana, Chloe even had a conversation with HawkMoth and readily accepted; showing she was no longer just being manipulated when the butterfly came into contact with her. She could have rejected it (and later did in Penalteam), but still accepted the power. Felix didn’t at all. So we start to think, maybe Felix isn’t that bad? Maybe he’s better than Chloe right?

Then he went and betrayed Ladybug and gave Gabriel all the miraculous in exchange for the Peacock. He didn’t care about the people he hurt or betrayed or doomed in pursuit of his own goals, getting his hand on the Peacock miraculous. Chloe, in similar fashion, wanted the Bee Miraculous back, and allied with HawkMoth when he offered it to her in the season 3 finale. And even in his small scene in season 5 episode 2, when he shows up and his mom is shown to have lies to Ladybug and Cat Noir to protect (or enable) her son, our suspicions about his motives and allegiances are confirmed true.

So far, his story is like Chloe’s: a rich, spoiled kid with an abusive parent (father) and the other parent as an enabler, looking down on everyone not at his level, acting cruel for the sake of it,, working with Hawkmoth to get their hands on a miraculous, and not regretting any of his bad choices and acting in his own self interest without caring about how it impacts others around him.

Let’s head back to Chloe for a second since we’ve focused on Felix and there’s a gap between his appearances in season 5. In the episode Derision, Adrien finally learns the true extent of the torture she put a Marinette through. He may not have heard about the smaller stuff from Kim, like leaving bugs in her locker and paint on her seats, but he learned of the horrendous “prank” she and Kim pulled on Marinette and immediately was furious. I mean, he tried to Cataclysm Kim’s face a few minutes later (I don’t blame him).

Adrien finally learned the true extent of Chloe’s cruelty and evil. So he decides to give her one last chance. He tells her to apologize cause he believes she can change. And she’s shown she’s capable of it. But this time, instead of trying to plead his forgiveness, she just laughs in his face now. She refuses to try being good anymore and outright tells Adrien, her “Prince”, the boy she always called her friend and seemed to care for one some real level, wrong and tries to convince him that she is better. She’s completely given up on any semblance of trying to good, or even just acting like she’s doing it to lease Adrien anymore. She’s done. She’s revealed her true colors to him. And Adrien is done with her. She’s not even sad about it anymore, just angry and annoyed that he betrayed her.

We see here that even though it seemed like she did care about Adrien enough to try and change or be better, she no longer does. Maybe she never did. She still sees him as some sort of prop or tool or prize that she deserves. Now let’s head back to Felix and the episode Emotion and how it displays both Felix’s growth and Chloe’s regression

***note, I have a full post on Felix and his actions in the episode Emption as well if you want to read it

Emotion happens and we see the true differences between the characters, and we learn more about Felix here too. Until now it seems like Felix has his own sinister reasons for allying with HawkMoth and is nothing but a male version of Chloe. But we see the differences here now. He tries to talk to Kagami (posing as Adrien) and doesn’t try to ruin their relationship, in fact apologizing when Kagami tells him that since they’re no longer dating the hand kiss was too far (learning about consent is good young man, but you still have to apologize to Ldybug!). He even tries to bond with her. Meanwhile Chloe had unwittingly “befriended” Marinette at the party and insists on showing her around, bragging about servants and robots and money and the like. Then the King and Queen are supposed to dance.

When Marinette reveals herself to them, you can see the differences in their characters in the ways they react. Marinette gives “Adrien” a heartfelt speech, saying she loves him, how she understands why he didn’t tell her about the dance and isn’t mad or betrayed, how she understands his father is forcing hot to do this and doesn’t blame him, and that she trusts him and loves him no matter what. Chloe is obsessed with the fact the baker girl broke into the dance, wanting her kicked out immediately. Felix by contrast is shocked, and then smiles and dances with her. He’s still acting as Adrien so it could be a cover, but I think he was genuinely loved by her words. Until now he’s never interacted with someone who honest, even if it would get them in trouble or hurt them. When Marinette starts getting self conscious and saying they think she’s a monster, he gets angry and says that they are the monsters.

Then Chloe gets so mad that she outright attacks Marinette and Felix then reveals himself. He starts snapping everyone away, but doesn’t do so with Marinette. He takes her away and hides her rather than just snapping her away for later. He doesn’t want to hurt someone who genuinely cares for his cousin. Then after he snaps the rest of the world away except for himself and Kagami (and be believed Marinette) he brings Adrien back and is overjoyed! He is happy cause he thinks he freed them and wants to have them all live together and be free and happy, (like he never was with his father)

Now we see there’s more to him that a cruel Chloe copy: he wants to help those he cares but is INCREDIBLY misguided, he thinks the only way he can think to help is to take the extreme and completely cut off anyone else who they don’t know or could possibly hurt them in the future, that there’s no one else good in the world except for Adrien and his mother (then later Kagami and Marinette). And we also see him regret his actions when he hurt the people he cared about. When he couldn’t bring back Marinette, he panicked and brought back everyone cause he didn’t want to hurt Adrien.

This is another Major difference between Chloe and Felix. Felix’s actions are also undoubtedly selfish and cruel (snapping away the entire world? Damn), but beneath that there’s a twisted and warped sense of protection and care behind it. He did it to save his loved ones. He was incredibly wrong in his approach and actions, but he seemed to genuinely want to help. And when Adrien called him out on it and how he was out of control and actually hurting people and him with his powers, Felix immediately stopped. He could have ignored it and snapped him and Kagami away, living alone in his free world, but he didn’t. By contrast, in the episode Revolution, Chloe gets similar powers to send people away, and when Adrien calls her on it she just sends him away too, without a second thought. Lila didn’t even need to say anything to convince Chloe to do it, that’s how little she cares about Adrien.

And their differences don’t stop at Emotion and how they use similar powers. They continue for the rest of their individual appearances in Season 5.

After the Diamond Dance and Felix snaps away Red Moon, he could have stopped there. After this failure and hearing his mother agree with his sentiments about how cruel everyone else in the world is (his mother being someone he loves and looks up, who is now validating his original beliefs), he could have just stopped right there. Instead, after that, he took an interest in Kagami, and also still tried to look out for/after Adrien. Remember, in the Season 3 finale, ladybug also tried to reach out to Chloe again after she made that mistake, and Chloe outright refused to apologize and turned against Ladybug fully. Felix ended up listening to Ladybug in the end, when she told him winning isn’t always what you want, or something like that. He did end up taking her advice.

Then when he saw Kagami being abused emotionally and verbally by her mother (one step forward, one step back; STALKING IS NOT OK YOUNG MAN), he noted how horrible it was and immediately acted to stop it. He kidnapped her and took her away (bad reaction, make that two steps back), but here he’s genuinely trying to do good. He’s actively trying to change. Kagami even calls him out on his stalking and kidnapping, and he apologizes and explains he didn’t know what else to do cause he knows what it’s like to be abused. Chloe would’ve just laughed at Kagami’s plight: Adrien’s “perfect” friend and ex girlfriend isn’t so perfect and her mother thinks she’s ridiculous too? She would find that utterly amazing and laughable.

Throughout the rest of the episode, Felix’s only plan is to protect Kagami, and even Ladybug and Chat Noir realize this when Kagami tells them so. He doesn’t try to fight them anymore and leaves.

Then through Lila’s manipulations and schemes, Chloe becomes mayor of Paris, and again ally’s with Monarch to gain powers for herself. She’s back to her old tricks, and this time is completely unrestrained by her former attachments to Adrien. One last time, she could have turned him down, but in the end she didn’t. This final choice is the metaphorical nail in Chloe’s coffin.

**I have another link where I try to analyze Chloe’s fall from grace and the reason her story ended the way it did

That’s a fundamental difference between these two characters which such similar backgrounds: it’s how they react to what they did and react to their mistakes and other people calling them out on their actions

Chloe never truly cared that she hurt Adrien despite him being “precious” to her, she never truly accepted responsibility except for that one time with Maledictator, and in the end didn’t see how her mother treated her as wrong. And when being good wasn’t as easy or rewarding as she wanted it to be, she stopped trying.

She found that being cruel and mean was easier for her and more immediately rewarding, so she took the easy way. It’s not that difficult to expect, especially the way she was raised: with a snobby, absentee mother, a weak willed father, and all the power of the city at her beck and call. It takes a lot of strength, will, and determination to try and break that cycle, especially as a kid. We see she’s capable but it’s hard for her to stay the course of good. All we can hope for is one day she’ll see the error of her ways AND get the help she desperately needs to get her out of abusive home and able to learn healthier and kinder ways to live

By contrast, Felix did realize the error of his ways and actively began to try changing, even though it was really hard. No one trusted him, especially not ladybug or Kagami or Adrien, but he still wanted to try. And he did. When confronted by Ladybug and Car Noir again, he didn’t try to fight them, only intending to protect Kagami. When Kagami told him off and what he was doing wrong he apologized and explained himself and what he was trying to do. He also worked to give her freedom again. Being good is not easy for him either, especially with how often he was hurt and abused when he was young, but he’s trying to be better here, and sees that even though it’s hard work, he’s willing to do it. Hopefully he stays on this path.

[thebreakfastgenie]

Hawkeye, 2,3,5,9 :3c

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

I mean really where to begin, I could go with anything, but I'm going to highlight something I think doesn't get enough attention in fandom: I like that he's cool. Hawkeye is the big man on campus. He's popular. Guys like him, Radar looks up to him as a male role model (bad idea but also maybe good idea), women adore him, the man gets laid all the time. He's very good at his job, so he's respected professionally, but he's also well-liked. He's well-liked because he's funny, hot, friendly, and usually nice. He's also kind, but he's nice to people, too, unless he feels they've earned derision (e.g. they support the army). Hawkeye is a chad! He's also very anti-establishment. I've called him a jock before but I think he's more of a greaser. A hero to the students, despised by the principal (beloved by the cool teacher, Henry). This is a really important part of the show. If Hawkeye were an underdog outsider it wouldn't have the same impact that he hates the army so much. MASH uses his strong social position to communicate the morality of the show, which is topsy-turvy by conventional standards. He loves sex, booze, and gambling, he breaks rules and flouts authority, but he's morally right because he knows war is wrong. And through loving Hawkeye, maybe we start to think about whether sex, booze, and gambling are really so bad, whether rules shouldn't be broken sometimes, whether authority shouldn't be questioned. I like that he's the popular kid.

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

This one is really hard because even the bad things make him a better character to me... I genuinely don't even mind that he's kind of sexist, like, I'd be surprised if he wasn't. I guess my least favorite thing is some of the attempts at character development... I don't mind Hawkeye being less interested in casual sex (for him as a character, I actually do kind of mind the show going that direction in the conservative 80s because nothing exists in a vacuum) but the way it's handled in Who Knew totally sucks. He says he always made sure the women he slept with knew he'd be gone if they wanted a more serious relationship... that's what you're supposed to do! That's being honest! It's okay to only want casual sex and the way it's framed suggests it's not! But I think if they'd gone the other way, and had Hawkeye actually take advantage of women by implying he was open to something more serious than he really was (as is implied early on, although there's often subtext that the nurses are just in it for fun too which softens it a lot) it would come off too gross and make him too unlikable.

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Honestly the first song is Saturday in the Park by Chicago because of GFA. July 4th, 1953 was a Saturday! Required viewing courtesy of @movietonight:

Other than that... I just checked my MASH characters as Billy Joel songs post and I gave Hawkeye I Go to Extremes which makes sense. I also associate Teachers by Leonard Cohen and Fourth of July by Sufjan Stevens with him.

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

Yes, but if we had a third roommate that person would kill us both. Our place would be disgusting, but neither one of us would get mad at the other about it because we'd both be equally responsible. We'd be complete disasters but I think we'd have fun.

[chaoticgoodlawyerwrites]

Preview for LF Chapter 4

Hey folks! Announcements are coming tomorrow, but I wanted to share some progress on the next chapter of Love and Fate with you. Hope you enjoy!

-----

Liu Qingge didn’t know what to think when Luo Binghe found him in the air on the most direct route between Bai Zhan and Qing Jing Peaks. He was planning on being only a little early to the meeting with Shen Qingqiu, hoping they could start earlier if his shixiong was ready ahead of schedule, but he never expected an exhausted Luo Binghe calling out his name with urgency in the air. 

“Shishu!” The youth cried out upon seeing him, shoulders slumping in relief as Liu Qingge flew directly to him, alarmed by his state and what would force Luo Binghe to seek Liu Qingge out. “It’s Shizun! The Sect Leader cornered him and he’s exhausted from today but he needs help.”

Luo Binghe found him because Shen Qingqiu needed help.

Nothing more needed to be said, except, “Where?”

“Home, the bamboo house,” he said. 

Liu Qingge looked him over once more and made a snap judgment. Luo Binghe was too tired to be flying alone this high in the air, so he had to stop flying.

He circled around and snatched the boy off his sword, Luo Binghe yelping in surprised but recovering enough to recall his blade to his hand. “Liu Qingge!”

“What happened to shishu?” He said as he crouched and urged Cheng Luan faster, Luo Binghe secure in his arms for the moment. 

“That was before you grabbed me out of nowhere!”

“Faster like this,” Liu Qingge said simply as an explanation and Luo Binghe sighed.

Rather than continuing with that, Luo Binghe held onto him, making holding him easier, and said, “You were there this morning. Yue Qingyuan stated something about Shizun breaking protocols, but Shang-shishu said that Shizun’s medical file was broken into. The file includes conversations about how he was cured. Considering he took steps to remove me from the bamboo house before he knew exactly what cured Shizun…”

“You think it could get worse,” Liu Qingge suggested grimly.

“I was helping him walk back after our trip today tired him. It is obvious that forcing me to move didn’t stop me from being around Shizun. Like it ever would.” 

He said that last derisively and Liu Qingge agreed with the sentiment. Even he knew that Luo Binghe would be far from deterred after his removal, never mind Shen Qingqiu’s reaction. Pre- or post-qi deviation didn’t matter; Shen Qingqiu’s will was not something to be underestimated. And that was exactly what Yue Qingyuan had done.

“The trip was… productive?” Liu Qingge asked, awkward in the bare minutes of flying it would take them to get to the bamboo house.

“Yes.” There was a pause and then Luo Binghe sighed again. “Things would be so much easier if we knew we could trust you, if Shizun didn’t have to feel so alone in this. Even with Shang-shishu on board, it’s a lot that was suddenly put on his shoulders, you know? And he’s so independent, so willing to do everything by himself…”

“Why are you telling me this?” Liu Qingge asked, suspicious and distracted by what Yue Qingyuan could have done to make Luo Binghe seek him out.

“I am saying that this knowledge burdens him more than I would like,” Luo Binghe snapped. “I’m saying that, despite what it means for me, I really, truly hope he can trust you with everything. With all that he has taken on, I don’t know what the weight of that disappointment would do to him if you failed our test, Liu Qingge. And, if you fail, I will never forgive you.”

“Could this wait? Until Yue Qingyuan is dealt with?” Liu Qingge asked, voice strained.

“I am waiting,” Luo Binghe said. “All Shizun needs is for us to show up for him right now, to show Yue Qingyuan that he is not and will not be alone as he was before. We’re moving as fast as we can as it is; why not warn you while we are alone?”

Liu Qingge huffed and shook his head, but he understood. Luo Binghe, more than Shen Qingqiu, had a very direct way about him that he could grow to appreciate more. The young man was efficient, calculating, but knew just what to say to make a point land without being condescending. It was clear who Luo Binghe’s master was in his approach, but he was certainly his own person. It said something about them both that Luo Binghe was not fully consumed by Shen Qingqiu’s personality and attention.

Something he would need to contemplate at another time.

Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe arrived at the bamboo house shortly thereafter, Cheng Luan’s sword glare alerting Qing JIng’s disciples distantly of their arrival in the distance. There was a protective barrier around the bamboo house that made Luo Binghe tense. “I can’t break that,” he said through his teeth.

Liu Qingge didn’t bother verbally responding, running his spiritual energy along it as a polite knock. When nothing happened for a moment, urged on by Luo Binghe’s visible agitation and anxiety, he pushed, testing the barrier with his own qi in a way that was unignorable. 

It wavered but held, making Liu Qingge’s anxiety rise. There was nothing Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu could be talking about to maintain this barrier without addressing his arrival. Luo Binghe would not have come to him for nothing, and he very quickly realized he didn’t fully understand just what could be happening to his shixiong outside of him needing support.

“How, exactly,” Liu Qingge asked, keeping his qi concentrated and consistent, “has Yue Qingyuan been treating Shen Qingqiu this past week?”

“Well enough but…” Luo Binghe pursed his lips. “He makes Shizun uncomfortable in a lot of ways. Of anyone, he refers to a name Shizun does not recognize, expects him to be someone he no longer is. And it is obvious he has long wished for their relationship to grow closer than it is or ever was. I can only assume seeing Shizun with my counterpart did not help the situation.”

“What aren’t you saying?”

Luo Binghe looked at him out of the corner of his eye and said, “I lived on the streets, Liu Qingge, and have seen a lot of how humanity works. Men who believe they are powerful do not accept when people they’ve 'claimed' leave without a fight.”

The implication sent a chill down Liu Qingge’s spine.

[zenmastercharles]

Conceptualizing Upgraded Powers for Every Miraculous

What’s up BITCHES🗣️‼️

…i’m sorry guys, I shouldn’t have called you bitches.

The concept of evolving powers in Miraculous Ladybug has raised some…interesting questions. When Ladybug basically said “fuck you, I do what I want” and made herself a new power, it confused a lot of us. And when Shadowmoth did the same goddamn thing, we were just kind of tired of it. The unspecific and wishy washy circumstances around upgrading a Miraculous user’s powers has inspired many people in the fanbase to make up their own headcanons for it, improving on the power that we were given and also conceptualizing upgrades for other users. 

Well, in this post, I’m gonna do the same thing….

For every goddamn Miraculous we see in this show

Am I crazy? Yes. Do I even have the time to do all of this? No.  Am I going to obsess over this for days on end instead of doing what I actually need to do? Absolutely.

To explain what exactly I’m doing here, instead of looking into the animals each Miraculous is based on, I’m purely going to draw concepts from the, well, concept the kwami embodies. That means I’m going to find a new power for Creation, Destruction, Transmission, Emotion, Illusion, Protection, Subjection (fuck Action, all my homies hate Action), Evolution, Intuition, Migration, Derision, Perfection, Jubilation, Inflatio-nah I’m just fuckin’ with you, Exaltation, Multiplication, Pretension, Passion, Determination, and Adoration.

Okay so maybe I lied about every Miraculous being in here since I’m ignoring the Eagle, but I’d rather wait until more Miraculouses from the NA Box get explored. Some of these are going to be easier than others, and some of these are going to be the bane of my existence, lookin’ at you Derision (which is oddly fitting). I’m gonna try my hardest not to make these upgrades OP. Now, without further ado, let’s do this.

🐞LADYBUG MIRACULOUS🐞

“Oh, Ladybug already got an upgra-” Well that upgrade was ASS, so we’re giving her a better one. When thinking of a new power for the Ladybug Miraculous, it was pretty damn difficult. I mean, Creation is a concept that’s so broad yet so specific. You have so many options yet no options at the same time. I was caught in a bit of a strange conundrum. So, in my desperate time of need, I turned to a friend that’s been helping me with shit like this since I first started writing.  My all-knowing buddy,

🪽𝒮𝓊𝓅𝓮𝓇𝓅𝓸𝓌𝓮𝓇 𝒲𝒾𝓀𝒾🪽

When I went to this site, I did what anyone would do and simply searched up Creation to see what I found. And I found a lot, a lot that could become too busted too fast. I had a few ideas at first, my first idea after going to this page was a literal goddamn domain expansion, that being Ladybug projecting her will in the form of a pocket dimension where her imagination reigns supreme. My second idea was something I would’ve called Power Plant, basically Ladybug’s spots glow and she can generate blasts of pure Big Bang energy, which again, is busted. 

Eventually, I found something that interested me and that’s Transmutation. Y’know, Alchemy from FMA? Yeah, that. It’s basically transforming one thing into another thing of equal value. And that, my friends, falls under Creation. Because you’re basically breaking something and using the parts to create something new. So, I’m guessing you can see where I’m going with this, right?

Ladybug’s new upgraded power is Overhaul, an ability that allows her to transform an inanimate object into an object of equal weight and density. So she can take a vase and transform it into an ax, but that ax is gonna be the same weight and density of the vase…and it’s gonna be made out of glass.

…holy shit, I just realized that’s an MHA reference, I legit didn’t even mean tha-

🐈‍⬛BLACK CAT MIRACULOUS🐈‍

Another upgrade that I came up with thanks to the help of with the help of my dear friend,

🪽𝒮𝓊𝓅𝓮𝓇𝓅𝓸𝓌𝓮𝓇 𝒲𝒾𝓀𝒾🪽

I am of the opinion that Chat Noir got absolutely shitted out of a new power in Season 5. You’re telling me you had Adrien go through all that bullshit that season and you couldn’t have at least given him some new razzle-dazzle to pay it off? Boosh.

Anyway, this one was actually fairly easier since Destruction isn’t really that broad a concept. I mean, you’re destroying shit, how complicated can it be? So, with Creation, I wanted to think about how Ladybug was creating something, but with Destruction, I want to focus on what Chat Noir’s destroying.

I went through some ideas before I came to a conclusion, Chat Noir being able to destroy someone’s soul to incapacitate them, him being able to destroy someone’s mental boundaries and what not. For the longest time I had the idea in my head that Chat Noir could maybe destroy an aspect of something, like maybe he could just destroy the color in an object and turn it completely gray. However, I feel that’s a bit more…situational. But, I eventually had a definitive idea. You know what falls under Destruction? Division.

“Wha-how does Division fall under Destruction?” You might ask, and that’s simple, division is destroying the bond that keeps multiple things whole, forcefully separating them. For example, if you have a lobster and you tear off it’s claw you have to destroy the shell to get to the meat inside. You’re dividing the shell from the meat by destroying the shell. (I’m fully aware that you didn’t need that explanation but I just watched the episode of Young Sheldon where George taught Missy how to crack a lobster and I’m still not over it)

So, Chat Noir’s new power is Hissection, it allows him to forcefully separate one thing from another by basically touching it and pulling that bitch out. He could use it on an akuma’s object and literally rip the akuma out of it without damaging the object. Or, if he’s getting really morbid, he could rip someone’s skeletal structure out of their body and just watch them fall down like ol jelly bones. He obviously wouldn’t do that, but still.

I have the perfect scenario for this power to develop too, Monarch finds out that Adrien is Chat Noir and tries to use the ring to get him to come to his side since Adrien’s a sentimonster, only for Chat Noir to use this power to separate himself from the Peacock Miraculous and wedding rings, granting himself his own sentience. Isn’t that just raw as hell?

🦋BUTTERFLY MIRACULOUS🦋

I’m gonna call Gabriel Hawkmoth for this section because I refuse to keep up with his new names. Hawk Moth has already got a kind-of upgrade with “Megakumas”. However, Megakumas are just boosh. They’re basically ‘akumas but stronger’. So I’ll be coming up with a new one just how I did with Ladybug. 

Now, the butterfly is connected to the concept of Transmission which I was having a hard time with because my stupid ass brain only thought of Transmission as “broadcasting TV/telekinetic signals”. That’s the reason I changed it to “Transformation” in one of my fics. However, one quick trip to le dictionary corrected me. Now I know that Transmission is the act of transferring something from one place to another. THAT’S why he can do that fuckin’ butterfly head thing…well my version doesn’t make sense anymore.

I really only have one idea for this and I find it perfect. Y’know how akumas transmit powers to akumatized victims right? Well, what if the butterfly user could transmit themselves?

Hawkmoth’s new power is Swarm Shadow, it allows him to break his corporeal form into a swarm of butterflies, allowing him to blast across large distances in a reduced timeframe and re-materialize. It’s basically teleportation with extra steps. 

I always thought him being able to do that in Volpina was cool as hell and I wished canon came up with a way to incorporate that someday…they didn’t.

🦚PEACOCK MIRACULOUS🦚

This one is gonna be a bit shorter because I pretty much got a great idea the moment I thought about it for more than three seconds. The Peacock is the Miraculous of Emotion, right? Well, what better upgrade would there be than, well, controlling emotions?

Argos’ new power is Vehementor, it allows him to subtly or blatantly influence a person’s emotions, he can push positive or negative emotions onto someone, or soften certain emotions to calm someone down. Someone with a stronger will could of course resist this. 

I used Argos instead of Mayura because we clearly aren’t seeing her again for a while. 

🦊FOX MIRACULOUS🦊

Now THIS one is harder. The Fox Miraculous is one of Illusion, which is a power that’s so straight-forward that it’s hard to think of anything to add to it without dipping into other domains. At one point, I thought of giving Rena a memory-based power, maybe the ability to take people’s memories and project them in the form of illusions, but that seemed like it was a bit situational in nature.

Eventually, I did come up with something. Imagine an illusion so advanced that it covered you at all times and that you could alter at will. You can make yourself invisible by forcing the illusion to mimic your surroundings, you could make it look like you’re teleporting by disappearing and reappearing behind people in puffs of orange smoke, you could make yourself look like someone else, you could make someone think you’re a shapeshifter, pretty much anything! 

So, Rena Rouge’s new power is Outfox, it allows her to manifest an illusion that’s connected to her brain and can react to her brain activity, twisting, shaping, and altering itself to whatever Rena can think of. She’ll definitely need to focus to keep pulling this off, or else the illusion would go haywire and out of her control, but it could still be pretty damn cool.

🐢TURTLE MIRACULOUS🐢

The Turtle Miraculous is one of Protection, which sounds like it would be difficult to come up for something with. I always felt that when coming up with new powers for the Turtle, other fan-creators did some that just…didn’t feel right to me. They just didn’t focus on the ‘protection’ part enough for me to feel like it made sense. My first idea for this was to give Carapace the ability to shape his shields into other stuff, and while I do think that would make for a good sub-power, it wouldn’t really fit for what I’m going for.

But then, I came up with something I like. Do you remember Metal Mario? It’s a powerup from, well, Mario, that gave him a thin coating of metal that enhanced his durability and strength. I’m going to give Nino something similar to that.

Carapace’s new power is Fortify, it allows him to create a forcefield that’s shaped around his body, allowing him to run around tanking attacks left and right. It also increases his physical strength, however, a downside is that he experiences a slight decrease in speed and agility. 

(Yes, I gave him and Rena similar powers intentionally, DJWifi is one of my favorite relationships, let me be)

🐝BEE MIRACULOUS🐝

Subjection! 

“Wait, isn’t it Action no-” SUBJECTION!

Subjection is an easy one. Subjection basically means ‘bringing something under your control’. So what better power for this one than mind control?

Queen Bee’s new upgraded power is Hive Mind, it allows her to stick someone with her trompo and bring them under her control, forcing them to do whatever she wants.

Notice how I said ‘Queen Bee’? Don’t worry Vesperia fans, I’m one of you, and I’m not leaving her out. In fact, I’m giving her a completely separate power upgrade. While Chloe would have no problem mind controlling someone, Zoe would likely find the concept…icky.  So, we’ll have to find something new for her. At first I wanted to give her the ability to control plants, because one, putting plants under subjection and two, bee, but that felt unoriginal. So, what did I go with? Something also unoriginal. Because what’s better than enacting subjection? Reversing it.

Vesperia’s new upgraded power is Layoff, it allows her to reverse low-level subjection, if someone else has you mind controlled, Vesperia can reverse that shit easy. Yes, it’s basically Bee Balm from Scarlet Lady (zoe please don’t sue me).

…ugh, fine, if I did consider the concept of Action, then the power would be Comb-Up, it would allow the user to drain the momentum from an object with the tip of the trompo to such a point that the object just completely freezes mid-air.

🐰RABBIT MIRACULOUS🐰

We’ve got the main 7 out of the way, let’s get onto the time-hopping Miraculous itself, the Miraculous of Evolution. I have mixed feelings on the linking of Evolution to the Time Miraculous because, like, I get it…but like, it doesn’t match all that well. I mean, Duration was right there if you really wanted something time-related. It doesn’t make that much more sense than Evolution, but it’s closer.

Now, at first, I focused a little too much on the time aspect, I thought of stealing time from someone else to slow them down DC style, I thought of enhancing her own time to speed herself up, I even thought of a power that’s actually going to the next Miraculous on the chopping block. But, I eventually got back to Evolution, and thought about what it means to evolve. And I came up with something pretty cool. What if Bunnyx could evolve objects?

Bunnyx’s new power is Rush Job, it allows her to harness a small percentage of chronokinetic energies and apply it to an object to evolve it, bringing it to a higher level. For example, you got a car? Do you want it to fly? BOOM! Rush Job! Now your car has jets and wings….I feel like I haven’t explained it well enough.

The weakness of this one would be, I guess, when it evolves it looses one of it’s best features from when it pre-evolved. Like, going back to the car, yeah it has jets now but there’s not a steering wheel anymore, just a steering mechanism that’s hella hard to get down. Also it wears off fast.

🐍SNAKE MIRACULOUS🐍

Ah, the Miraculous of the Snake, or as I like to call it, the one that basically lets you go “nuh-uh”. Intuition is a simple concept to get down, basically you’re super aware and have good instincts. This is also another wibbly wobbly time Miraculous, it and the Rabbit take turns making each other insignificant. This one was actually pretty easy for me, as I already had this power in mind for the snake for months now. 

Viperion’s new power is Scale Factor, it allows him to peer through time to view the possible outcomes of each action they take, and adjust for certain happenings. He would have to focus hard, but I feel that shouldn’t be hard for Luka.

🐴HORSE MIRACULOUS🐴

Bit of a detour, but the Horse Miraculous’ power doesn’t make sense to me, mostly because it’s a huge wasted opportunity. The concept is Migration, and that’s basically moving from one direction to another. And what are horses known for? Running! So the obvious conclusion for the Horse’s power is PORTALS! I’m gonna give the Horse the power I think it should’ve had in the first place.

Pegasus’ new power is Steed, it allows him to sprint at incredible speeds, becoming a light green blur (same color as the portals). 

🐒MONKEY MIRACULOUS🐒

This one…this one was the death of me. Because what the fuck is ‘Derision’? I didn’t even know that was a word before Thomas decided to pull it out of his ass and slap it onto the table. Apparently is means, “contemptuous ridicule or mockery”. So basically, magic bullying. Now, how do I find another application of this? Credit where credit’s due, Uproar is kinda perfect for the concept of Derision. Basically making your opponent the laughing stock by disrupting their power. After a few hours, I finally got it. What if your power made you the laughing stock.

What if you’re the jester, the joker, the one who made people laugh, whether they like it or not?

Roi Singe’s new power is Quip King, it allows him to tell a joke so bad, a joke so cringe, a joke so unbelievably garbage, that anyone who hears it laughs at him. Forcibly. And they can’t stop. It’s basically Joker Venom but WAY less lethal. Can’t exactly threaten the city while your ribs are quaking.

🐲DRAGON MIRACULOUS🐲 

Okay, Derision was the death of me, this buried me underground. This time, I knew what Perfection was, I just don’t know how that connects to the animal or the power. I mean, Ryuko has weather powers. The fuck does that have to do with Perfection? I mean, if you wanted her to have weather powers that bad, Precipitation was right there. 

Anyways, finding something to do with Perfection that still looped in with it’s main power was very hard…so I just didn't. I straight up forgot about the ‘Storm Dragon’ powers and focused completely on Perfection. Perfection means, well, making things perfect, so I thought of something like a stat booster, making the user a living unit of strength, speed, durability, and stamina. I realized that, one, that would be way too busted, and two, it would overshadow the turtle’s new power. I eventually came up with something different though.

Ryuko’s new power is Omni-Tongue, it allows her to understand and speak all existing languages, including ancient or fictional languages. It’s kind of situational but honestly, the Dragon is already one of the most busted of the Chinese Box, it doesn’t need another super flashy power. 

🐷PIG MIRACULOUS🐷

Ah yes, the Miraculous quite literally designed for Rose. It’s the Miraculous of Jubilation, meaning the feeling of great happiness or triumph. I’m sure you’re thinking “Zen Master Charles, how the hell are you gonna find another application of this.” Quiet, dear reader, as I know how to do this. I didn’t really have any other ideas for this one since the answer was pretty clear cut.

Pigella’s new power is Peace Out, it overloads whoever she hits with her tambourine with so much positive emotion that they can’t do anything else but frolic around and enjoy the world’s beauty.

🐯TIGER MIRACULOUS🐯

What the fuck is ‘exaltation’?

“Actually, the concept got changed to ‘elation’.” Ahhh…what the fuck is ‘elation’?

Okay so Elation means ‘a feeling of great joy or pride’. Now, how the hell does that factor into a super punch? I have no idea, but I do have an idea of what it’s upgraded power could be. See, when you’re super happy, you’re super energetic, like you’re bouncing around and shit. And you would need a lot of stamina for that, so…

Purple Tigress’ new power is Resolver, it allows her to grant herself nigh-infinite stamina and a slight increase in speed and agility. 

🐁MOUSE MIRACULOUS🐁

Eezy dubs.

Polymouse’s new power is Bootleg, it allows her to produce copies of physical objects, the only downside being that the copies will be of lower quality, y’know, like a bootleg version.

🐓ROOSTER MIRACULOUS🐓

Ah, pretension, a claim or assertion of a claim to something. It actually makes sense paired with the power of the Miraculous itself, good job Thomas! Of course the power itself is busted beyond all accounts and makes the rest of the show seem like it could’ve been solved if at least one character had an IQ above room temperature. It’s hard to come up with something new for Pretension because it’s such a…specific term.

My first idea was a power that allowed the user to create a specific rule that had to be followed within a certain area, but that sounded busted. Too busted, even by the standards of the power it already has. However, once I wrote this off, I had an idea. How about, instead of creating rules, the Rooster hero could break them?

So, Rooster Bold’s new power is Rebel Roost, it allows him to make himself exempt from any rule or law by writing it with his feather pen dagger. Seems pretty useless at first right? WRONG! Laws of gravity? Fuck you, I can fly. Rules of Nature? Hey, mouse! You can kill that cat that’s been hunting you now! Yes, it’s broken, but so is it’s other power.

🐐GOAT MIRACULOUS🐐

Another eezy dub, y’know how passion basically means you’re dedicated towards something and have strong emotions towards it? And when it’s at it’s peak, nothing can keep you away from it?

Caprikid’s new power is Scapegoat, it allows him to become intangible, meaning that he can walk and/or float through physical objects, but he can’t touch them until he deactivates the power.

🐂OX MIRACULOUS🐂

The Ox Miraculous of Determination, in the simplest terms, is literally a big blue ‘nuh uh’ button. Surprisingly, it also makes sense paired with the power Astruc came up with! I’m tired as hell so I’m not gonna explain my thought process here.

Minataurox’s new power is Oxenfree, it allows him to supply his allies with boosts to their willpower. It’s lazy, I know, idc. (God, I’m falling off.)

🐕DOG MIRACULOUS🐕

THE FINAL ONE, YEEEEES

The Miraculous of the Dog holds the concept of Adoration, makes sense with the animal, not so much the power. Now, how the hell am I supposed to find another application of Adoration…actually it’s quite easy. It’s the same thing as the Horse, where all I have to do is give it the power I think it should’ve had in the first place. 

Miss Hound’s new power is Track Star, it allows her to target a specific person and track them down wherever they go. 

~~hide away, hide away from me, hide away, hide away from me-~~

I’M FINALLY FUCKING DONE! 

Guys, this took me 10 days.

Alright, if you have any alternate ideas you want to share or want to use any of these for your fics, make sure to comment below.

[roro59]

le geek talkz about: derision

what a surprise. the first "talkz about" post i made and it's about a episode that i hate with a burning passion. so today we're talking about derision which is the 14th episode of season 5 of miraculous ladybug. this episode is all about marinette's past and all that. and boi was the flashback so long. 10. fucking. minutes. and the reason why mari stalks is because of chloe! yes my amigos, this episode is ofc a chloe slander episode! dear lord.... so what happened next is that kim got akumatized into dark humor (which is basically a somewhat upgraded version of dark cupid) and basically his power is to make people laugh or some shit, idk.

so 1 fight later, bla bla bla, adrien ends his friendship with chloe which is.... very cruel of himself to do that if i say myself because adrien was supposed to be chloe's only friend! overall, fuck this episode. i feel like the true villain of S5 is not gabriel, it's the writers itself.

anyways i'mma posting more of these "talkz about" posts in the future so yeah. (also my amigos, if you want some good writing instead of this shit that is derision, you should check out my fanfic! https://archiveofourown.org/works/38432284/chapters/96048082)

[leogichidaa]

The Great Pretenders: Remus and Regulus

To note at the outset: this post is going to rely heavily on my personal characterization of Regulus, which I feel is supported by canon, but is also largely speculative.

Alright, so this has been bouncing around in my head since I got the ask about Regulus’ opinion of Remus. As I said in my response, they share some defining features in common: a desperate need to be liked and a core belief that they are unlikeable. It’s an unpleasant mix and it leads to them being good at putting on a show--and pushing people away.

Remus feels the need to project a certain image because of his lycanthropy. Some of this is strictly practical: if people were to find out about his condition, he could lose his position in school, his livelihood, his friendships, etc. Some of it is more deep seated.

Remus’ condition is a punishment. His father is said to regret the derisive comments he made about werewolves and he just "parroted what was the common view". It's clear we're meant to think of Lyall as someone who paid for his bigotry and totally learned his lesson, but I think that bigotry lingered in a more covert form and had an impact on Remus beyond the bite (one clear example being that he is not allowed to have friends growing up in case he tells someone he's a werewolf). In many ways, Remus is molded into the anti-Greyback. Whereas Greyback becomes the monster that society is determined to make him out to be, Remus is turned into the “good werewolf”. He is passive and well educated and treats his condition like a burden he must constantly apologize and compensate for. He is just happy to be included.

As a result of his condition and the societal condemnation thereof, Remus despises himself to a maddening degree. He is so convinced that he is not worthy of anyone’s love or approval that he carelessly tosses away the love and approval he is given. He is so certain that no one would care for him if they knew his true self that he hides under a carefully constructed mask and refuses to let people peek beneath the surface. He’s a fake ass hoe. He twists the truth, lies, and withholds information to craft a narrative that both works in his favor and successfully holds people at arms-length. Wait, am I describing Remus or Regulus here? Yes. Both.

Regulus has a less obvious and tangible reason for his protective tendencies, but he comes from a family where image is everything and when his older brother starts bucking tradition he fills the role of traditionalist to protect the family's homeostasis. I think about that painstakingly carved Black family crest in his room often: that is a carefully constructed mask that he created for himself if I ever saw one. He hides within the role that his family expects him to play so that he does not ever have to be himself.

Both Remus and Regulus end up fighting in the war, which is interesting because both are portrayed as passive (although capable of aggression when motivated by threats to the things they hold dear). If you were just handed character sketches of these two chuckle fucks without context, you would not likely think, “ah yes, I can see them signing up to fight guerilla warfare”. But because of their need to project a certain image, to follow certain people, to protect certain ideals that in turn protect them, they end up joining the fight.

And it's not just an external presentation either. We see examples in PoA and DH where Remus is lying to himself as much as he lies to other people. He is protecting his self-image even as he strives to control the way others perceive him. I see Regulus’ presentation, too, as in part for the benefit of his family, but also a way to protect himself from having to look in the mirror and say: “who am I?” and “is this who I want to be?” Neither Remus nor Regulus can afford to be anything other than what they pretend to be, either outwardly or within their delicate ego.

The tragic thing about this (and I touched on this before when talking about the “sickening look of faux pity” line) is that if you are always putting on a show and no one, not even you really, knows the real you, then nothing can counteract that maddening self-loathing. Everyone and their grandmother can say “I love you, I appreciate you as a person” and shower you in praise and it wouldn't matter because they’re praising a fake version of you. They love your mask. Which is, on one level, the whole point of having a mask in the first place. But internally, it serves to reinforce the idea that the real you is unlovable and that no one will ever treasure your true self the way they treasure the fake you.

We see how this plays out for Remus with Tonks. It doesn’t matter how many declarations of love she gives and how much she insists that she cares for him despite the realities of his situation, he does not believe her. He insists to Harry that Tonks, and Harry, and everyone, just don't understand what being married to him really means because they don’t actually know him and his reality. And it’s easy to read that as Remus being completely wrong and blinded by pessimistic self-hatred, but on some level he is right. They don’t understand because he won’t let anyone understand because he’s terrified that if they do understand then they will hate him, so he might as well just leave now before it gets to that. He can’t bear to give anyone a chance to really see him and accept him for who he is.

I see a romantic dynamic with Regulus playing out much the same way. He would be too afraid to talk about the real stuff, he would keep too much of himself locked away and hold his partner at arm’s length. He would run when things got hard because he would assume that his partner doesn’t really love him anyway, so they probably wouldn’t even miss him. He would convince himself that they're better off without him and find an excuse to jump ship.

This is getting long, but I also wanted to touch on how I imagine this plays into my hc that Regulus figured out that Remus was a werewolf at some point during their time together at Hogwarts. I imagine that it would be relatively easy to sleuth out for someone who is paying attention (the moon phases make it a bit obvious and it’s not like Remus and co are super discreet). But if Regulus did find out, why would he not tell everyone? Wouldn’t he be thrilled to bring down one of Sirius’ friends?

I’ve thought about this and the conclusion I came to is that, even if Regulus does not like or respect Remus, even if he sees Remus as a filthy half-breed half-blood who stole his brother, he understands Remus on some level. He knows the importance of keeping a secret (in contrast to Sirius). I imagine he kept the werewolf thing in his pocket, rationalizing that he’d use it if he ever felt sufficiently provoked, but he never did because deep down he saw a bit of himself in Remus. (This is especially true in my Every Other Freckle AU, in which Regulus himself is carefully guarding a secret love affair, so outing Remus would hit too close to home for him). It's either that or Sirius has something on Regulus and there’s an unspoken mutually assured destruction thing going on, but I'm partial to the first theory.

[bumblerhizal-art]

Seven Snippet Sunday

I define snippet a touch loosely here. I think it's still Sunday at least. While i'm now starting compiling this post, it is at least. No promises for when i finish. But seven? Seven is dead-on.

Got tagged for this by @heniareth a short forever ago and tagging you back in return as well as @icylook @wild-houseplant and @scarletkilometers

The first six are coming from Novhen's prelude rewrite and the last one from shortly after. It's been in progress for a while, but i don't think i've posted any of these before. If i have, oops. Because of how i skip around writing, there are bits from all over the story so fic spoilers ahoy probably, but it's about the journey not the destination, y'know? Especially for a rewrite like this is

CW: Alcohol (#2, 4), Death (#5), Implied Sexual Assault (#5)

<1> Starting with a bit of "All or Nothing" foreshadowing

"You have no idea how lucky you are," Shianni twirled her dress. "The outfits, the music, the wine. It's a whole party all about you! Well, one-quarter about you." "So now you want to get married?" Novhen said. 'You do know what comes after, right?" She rolled her eyes. "Of course I do, and I'm sure I'll figure something out to get around it when the time comes.” "By which you mean you'll make me figure something out?" Shianni waved her hand flippantly. "Same thing."

<2> Those kids i missed on my first playthrough you get to tell the story to

In the dead of night long after the city's nobles had drifted off into their whiskey-scented sleep, she sent a prayer to the Dread Wolf and melted into the shadows-- "Who's the Dread Wolf," Sera interrupted. "One of the old elven gods from before the fall of the Dales. He was the god of rebellion," Novhen explained. Sera wrinkled her nose. “How many years ago did you say this story was?” “Not that many,” he answered. “There are still elves that worship the old gods.” Efraim raised his hand. "But I thought Andraste freed the elves. Shouldn't she be god of rebellion?” Novhen said, "Yes, she freed us, but she wasn’t a god. And the Chantry folk really don't like it when you say that. She was a prophet, remember. Now, are we ready to continue?" They nodded. "Good," Novhen said.

<;3>

"C'mon, wasn't it worth it to see their faces light up?" Soris shrugged noncommittally, "I guess. We should go find the rest of the wedding party." Soris began walking out of the alley, leaving Novhen to catch up. He teased, "If that's your attitude, let's hope your bride doesn't want too many kids." "I have to agree with you there," Soris laughed awkwardly. "What about you? Going to give Uncle Cyrion the army of grandbabies he's been begging for?" "I thought I made myself clear. The moment you turn your head, I'm climbing the wall and finding the Dalish." "You haven't left yet."

<;4> Back to the break in! I know i've posted scenes near this one

The guard tried to say, "What do you want?" But as his speech was garbled by sleep and, by the smell of it, alcohol, what came out was "Wharryawan?" "Could you tell us where Lord Vaughan's room is?" Novhen said. The guard lazily looked him up and down. "And who are you?" "We're the new help. We were supposed to start today." The guard snorted derisively. “Wish they would tell me about these things. Go find somebody else to hold your hand. I have a station to man.” “Right. Sorry, ser,” Novhen said apologetically. He grumbled and crossed his arms as he leaned back in his chair. Already, he was nodding off once again. "Load of good that did," Soris mumbled. Novhen gestured for him to keep quiet and opened the door. He made no special effort to open it quietly, which was just as well as it would have squealed no matter how he opened it. The guard shifted in his seat and barely opened one eye. Seeing nothing unexpected, he went back to sleep. He wouldn't remember them by the time he woke up.

<;5>

Novhen stared at him. "Fine. Give me 40 gold and the women, and I let you live." "No, no, you misunderstand. 40 gold and the girls return alive tomorrow. I can't leave my guests without entertainment. What kind of host–" An arrow sprouted from Vaughan's throat.

<;6>

"Where are you going?" He had been spotted. It wasn't Duncan's voice. It was that recruit from Redcliffe. Alistair was his name. "I just need to take a piss," Novhen said. It was only half a lie. Alistair visibly relaxed, "Oh, okay. Just stay in range of the fire. You never know what could get you at night." Novhen grunted affirmatively and trudged away from the camp. If he ran, Alistair would be ready to raise alarm immediately. It would take less than a minute for Duncan and Riordan to begin pursuit. If this were Denerim, he'd be able to shake them without problem, but this was as far from Denerim as he had ever been.

<7> Hey, this one isn't from the rewrite. What's up with that?

The messenger said, "Warden-Commander, the Arl of Denerim requests the presence of Warden Tabris in his tent." The hairs rose on Novhen's neck, but he remained still. If he had not already been identified, he would rather not give it away in his reaction. "What for?" Duncan asked coolly. "He would not say, ser." "Well, I'm afraid that unless the arl is willing to disclose his purpose, I cannot help. All of my Wardens are already preoccupied with more important matters." The messenger squirmed in his boots, "I understand, ser, but the arl was quite insistent that I fetch him." "And you will find me quite insistent that I cannot allow that," Duncan answered firmly.

[kellanine]

Find a Word Tag

The rules are simple - find the word (or something close enough) in a fic (WIP, published, whatever) and share the excerpt it’s in. 

Thank you for the tag @msalexwp! I don’t really know how to talk to people on here, so I feel weird tagging anybody ... so I thought I’d choose my three of my most recent followers because ... hi!!! Sorry if you have already been tagged for this! Tagging @nymphadoratonqs, @sliebman10, @dot524

Your words: heart, shirt, lovely, music

Words I was given: love, easy, funny, moon

I’m not really sure how this is supposed to work ... like am I supposed to find these words in my own fics? Someone else’s? So I decided to be totally evil and choose excerpts from my own long Marauders at Hogwarts fic which I’ve been writing for almost two years but haven’t posted yet because I want it to be finished! I am sooooo close! A chapter and a half left to go! And ... yes, I included two excerpts for “moon” because I just couldn’t decide!

Love

“I reckon I was just wondering if you wanted to tell me how long you’ve been in love with Sirius, and when you’re finally going to do something about it.”

Remus blinked once. Then again. He couldn’t speak. He felt his face burn instantly, and had to swallow several times. His mouth was suddenly very dry. “Sorry, erm, wha—?” He ran out of air on the last word. His heart had dropped to his feet, and now was crawling its way back up, seeming to lodge at the base of his throat. It pounded very hard. He thought it might choke him.

“You heard me,” replied James. “I know, Remus.” James let out a heavy breath, as if he’d been holding it for ages. “I know.”

“I don’t … I don’t know what you think you know, but …” Panic squeezed Remus’s chest. He couldn’t breathe. He had to get out of here.

“Moony,” James said firmly, leaning around to try to catch Remus’s eyes again. “It’s okay. It’s me.” He put a hand on his own chest, and one on Remus’s knee. “It’s just me. I don’t care.”

Remus looked at him, felt how wide his own eyes were, and couldn’t think of a single thing to say.

“I mean to say, I don’t not care, I do care. But I just … don’t care. You know what I mean? It doesn’t bother me, if you like blokes, or if you like Padfoot, or whatever. I don’t care.”

Remus heard himself breathing. Fast. Was he hyperventilating? He might have been hyperventilating. He couldn’t think. He was losing control, and he always had to stay in control. This was bad …

“Remus, I think he loves you too.”

Easy

The group fell into an uneasy silence, and then perhaps one of the only things that could have made them feel worse happened.

“Lily.” An unmistakable oily voice sounded behind them, and Remus turned to see Severus Snape hovering over them like an overgrown bat. At his side was Regulus Black. A number of things happened at once. James and Sirius had their wands out instantly. Sirius leapt to his feet. Regulus spoke a single word, in a voice dripping with disdain.

“Relax.”

“You relax,” Sirius spat. Remus, Lily, and James all got to their feet. Remus put a hand on Sirius’s arm and whispered in his ear. 

“Easy,” he told him. “They haven’t done anything.”

“What do you want?” asked Lily, meeting Snape’s eyes. She had to crane her neck to do it. He was standing too close.

James’s wand twitched in his hand. “You want to take a step back,” he warned Snape.

“Oh for Merlin’s sake,” said Regulus, rolling his eyes.

Remus heaved a sigh and stepped into the middle of the group. “Severus, what do you want? We were having a private conversation.”

Snape didn’t move, just gave Remus a derisive once-over and said, “I’m not allowed to say hello?” 

“Then say it,” said James, “and walk away.”

Funny

“Stand back, all of you,” said James, pulling out his wand. He ushered the small group of students away from the wall and cast his eyes around the landing, as if the perpetrator might have been lying in wait, planning an ambush. The first year girl tried valiantly to control her tears, but an involuntary hiccup escaped her. James put his free arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to him, his wand twitching in his hand.

One boy eyed the words warily and looked at Remus. “Is that blood?” he asked.

Remus exchanged a look with Sirius, and then James, his heart racing. That was exactly what it looked like to him, but he felt the eyes of his young classmates on them, waiting expectantly for some words of reassurance. Remus swallowed and shook his head. “No,” he told them, “It’ll just be a spell.”

“Pete,” said James in a low voice. “Will you go to the Great Hall? See if Dumbledore’s still there? Or McGonagall?”

“Already going,” he replied, and he took off down the stairs.

“All of you should go on to Gryffindor Tower,” James announced to the small crowd of students. “Don’t worry about a thing, this is just someone’s twisted idea of a joke.”

“It’s not funny,” a second-year boy said.

“No, it is not,” James agreed.

Moon

By dawn, the wolf had done more damage to himself than ever before. He was bleeding profusely, and laid very still upon the hardwood floor, panting. Prongs was battered, but he was much more worried about the others. He used his nose to nudge the dog, but Padfoot only whimpered. He had no energy left and had bled much more than Prongs would have liked. Around the shack, more than one piece of furniture lay in pieces, and an enormous hole in the stairs now prevented any of them from going up. Normally, they were able to urge the wolf onto the bed on the second floor before the moon set, but the best they could hope for this time was that the floor wouldn’t be too unforgiving on Remus’s broken and bleeding body when he transformed back.

Prongs eyed the clock on the mantle, pacing before the fireplace, but never taking his eyes from the wolf and the dog. Both of their chests rose and fell shallowly, and there was a gurgling sort of whistle in the wolf’s breaths that Prongs had never heard before. Padfoot was terrifyingly silent. Nearly an hour after the sun had risen, the moon, blessedly, sank below the horizon. Prongs was ready.

All at once, the wolf’s body seized, and an unearthly cry ripped from its throat. The wet, grinding noise of morphing bones and flesh met Prongs’s ears, a sound that he never got used to, and even as fur was still disappearing into human flesh, James transformed, lunging for his wand, and just managed to get his hand under Remus’s head before it hit the floor. 

AND

“Okay, listen,” interjected Peter, coming over and putting a hand on each of their shoulders. He gave a nervous laugh. “Let’s all just take a breath here—”

“Piss off, Peter!” cried Sirius, jerking his arm away, before turning back on James. “You have royally fucked up, James. Have you somehow failed to notice in six bloody years that Dumbledore can practically read everybody’s goddamn mind? He’s going to question Remus about everything, including the moon, and he’s going to find out about us, and then where does that leave Remus? ALONE!”

For a moment, James looked stunned, as if he hadn’t thought of that, but then he said, “If Dumbledore could read minds, he’d have figured us out way before now. We’ve been in his office a hundred times. So either he’s not going to find out because Remus isn’t stupid and he can handle himself—”

“Remus isn’t thinking clearly!”

“—or Dumbledore already knows and he doesn’t care!”

Sirius stared at him, jaw clenched. “You had better hope you’re right,” he said after a moment. “Because if this blows up and Remus ends up alone, I will personally make sure you never forget that it’s because of what you did!” Sirius emphasized his words by shoving James in the chest, hard.

“Whoa!” said Peter, trying to insert himself again. “Come on, let’s just calm down—”

“I SAID PISS OFF, PETER!”

“Hey!” James snapped, and now he was the one shoving Sirius back. “I think you need to back off, mate.”

“Why, what are you going to do? You want to hit me?”

James looked at Sirius as if he’d spontaneously grown three extra heads. “No, I don’t want to hit you, you daft fucktwit!”

[stellarsalad]

This thing on?

Hello! Uh... this is a test post.

I'd like to say that I'm not a robot. And while I can't prove this, here's some statements I don't think a robot could come up with:

While Steely Dan may not have a best album, they have likely never made a bad album. Can't Buy A Thrill did nothing for me when I listened to it all, though. (However, Reelin' In The Years is great, and Do It Again is a thoroughly impeccable song. It's a song I knew for years, but it's the one that finally got me into the band.)

Countdown To Ecstasy is very, very good, and while I wouldn't call it a no-skip, no songs on it are ones I dislike. My Old School is awesome and the Dan's most accessible song, and unless you're like me (your parents played them a lot as a kid so they grew on you hereditarily) it's the song I would share with you as an introduction to them. (Unless you're my composer friend, in which case I would play you the title track of Aja first.) Other highlights I love are Bodhisattva and Show Biz Kids. (I don't know if Rent would exist if Jonathan Larson had listened to Show Biz Kids.)

I have barely listened to Pretzel Logic at all. I've never really liked Rikki Don't Lose That Number, but Any Major Dude Will Tell You is pretty great and maybe their sweetest song. Which is very valuable from a band that by and large revels in cynicism and seediness.

I also have barely listened to Katy Lied, probably because Everyone's Gone To The Movies is scaring me away from it. But Black Friday slaps, and I discovered Doctor Wu a couple days ago and liked it immediately.

The Royal Scam is pretty guitar-heavy. Kid Charlemagne and the title track feel like siblings musically and both are excellent. The Caves Of Altamira and Don't Take Me Alive are both great too - but I think my favorite from it is Everything You Did. It's a surprisingly strong earworm, and "turn up the Eagles, the neighbors are listening" is just too funny for me. (I also have Eagles thoughts! Hotel California sucks but otherwise they are a good band.)

Aja... yeah, this kind of is their masterpiece, I gotta admit. I still haven't gotten into I Got The News and I still don't like Josie much, but the rest of the album is so, so great. I got into the title track most recently, and the instrumentation of it just feels so epic. But Deacon Blues... is the song that, when I first heard it, turned me from a Do It Again enjoyer into someone who wanted to listen to more Steely Dan. And yet, Home At Last is probably my favorite song from Aja. Aja is an album that still has some of the Dan's cynicism, but Aja and Home At Last are both very earnest songs that make me feel things.

But Gaucho... aw yeah. Gaucho is just as good as Aja if not better. I don't understand how such a chill album can absolutely go so hard. Yacht rock is a term I enjoy using derisively (like 'butt rock', but not like nu metal, a genre I do have legit admiration for)

Babylon Sisters: my dad loves this song. I hated it until I was twenty. And then once I got into the title track I finally had to admit that Babylon Sisters was good. Because I finally appreciated it. Especially the coda.

I am getting closer and closer to giving Hey Nineteen another chance, but right now it just feels TOO seedy and sleazy for me. Yes, I understand that the Dan's stories are almost never aspirational narratives. Still, tho. I need a little bit longer to get used to it.

Glamour Profession: speaking of narratives that are not aspirational, I heard the joke once of "the moral of Gaucho is that drugs and adultery are awesome" and Glamour Profession is very high on the drugs axis. To quote Layer Cake, "I'm not a gangster. I'm a businessman whose commodity happens to be cocaine." Anyway this song rules. Hoops McCann is an awesome name.

Gaucho: This is definitely the last straw that got me into Steely Dan for good. This song is so good it convinced my dad Donald Fagen was gay. The lyrics are awesome. All I know about the gaucho in this song is that he's sexy as hell, so why wouldn't your husband want to cheat on you with him? Would you like to do the same? Also, have a thoroughly beautiful instrumental bridge that shows you the beautiful world and brings you crashing back down to reality.

Time Out Of Mind: how is a song both relaxing and exciting. this whole album is yacht rock done to perfection. no other album-length example of the genre will ever be this good, sorry Christopher Cross. oh yeah, the lyrics are about drugs again lol. ft. Mark Knopfler!... for like 40 seconds? eh well, glad to have him here

My Rival: This song is confusing to me lyrically about what it's about but it's still great. I think this is the other song on Gaucho that could have convinced my dad that Donald Fagen (or Walter Becker) was gay

Third World Man: haven't listened much, too mellow for me so far.

The Second Arrangement: yeah, that's right. This song slaps and would have fit flawlessly on Gaucho as another track on the adultery axis. gosh, if Gaucho was a double album... if only, if only.

I have barely heard Two Against Nature (I'd have chosen Midnite Vultures to win AOTY instead and The Marshall Mathers LP should probably have won out of the nominees for cultural impact, and Cousin Dupree is a bit much for me to listen to it yet) or Everything Must Go (Godwhacker is pretty good tho).

anyway, Steely Dan is a great band. Thank you for reading! This was fun to write, maybe I'll do this more.

[artemis-entreri]

Jarlaxle’s Uncertain Age 2

Although no listed time (as far as I know) has come about for Jarlaxle’s age he could not be as young as 245 years old. As of the book Timeless (I’m not all caught up on these books) Jarlaxle is already mentioned by name by Matron Zeerith on Briza Do'Urden’s 100th birthday. In Homeland Briza is mentioned to be around 400 years old when she dies in 1339 DR. Timeless further clarifies her age by stating that Briza was born in 1018 DR

“

Dalereckoning 1018

“A hundred years,” Patron Rizzen said to Matron Malice Do’Urden, the two in the small chamber that served as a throne room in the minor house of Daermon N’a’shezbaernon, more commonly known as House Do’Urden….“Few matrons have served for a full century,” the often-oblivious male added. “This is a great day. A great day for you and a great day for House Do’Urden.” 

“House Do’Urden,” Malice echoed with a derisive snort. She had taken control one hundred years before to the day, the day her first child, Briza, was born, the day her mother and matron, Vartha Do’Urden, died.” - Timeless

So here we can see that Briza is actually 321 years old when she dies. 

Once Briza leaves the Xorlarrin compound Jarlaxle takes notice of her and himself claims to be somewhat older.

“From the shadows of an alleyway beside the gates of House Baenre, a dandy-looking young drow watched Briza Do’Urden run from House Xorlarrin. He lifted his eyepatch—a recent magical acquisition, enchanted to show him things his eyes could not and to prevent him from being seen by things other than eyes—to better survey the woman. She wasn’t much younger than he, and he thought that, yes, he could indeed note the resemblance to her rumored father.” - Timeless

So at this point, 1488 DR (the year “Hero” ends) Jarlaxle should be more than 470 years old. This also explains why very few drow know that Jarlaxle is a Baenre noble, because most of the ones who were alive at the time of his birth are already dead, or were not in a high enough position to know more about the inner workings of the Number 1 house. 

My guess, and I will update this as I finish off the rest of the books, is that Jarlaxle is even older than this. My reasoning is that the longer your life the less strict people typically are with amounts of time. For a 10 year old, a single year is a huge difference, but for a 40 year old, saying someone is 5 years younger than them seems like a small difference. Drow can live up to 700 years (except for a few notable examples) and at over 100 Jarlaxle could easily be 120 years old when making that statement.

The orignial post about this topic came out before Timeless was released, so the author of that post cannot be faulted for entertaining the idea that Jarlaxle might very well be 245 years of age. I also acknowledge that the original author themselves stated and provided evidence for why they believe Jarlaxle is around 500 years old, and turns out, the original author was correct! 

Tl;dr Jarlaxle Baenre is at least 470 years old, at least according to the book “Timeless”. 

[[ Sorry for answering this 9 months after it was submitted, I kept meaning to do so but always got waylaid with work before I could take the time to go through my old posts and newer source material.

Way before I sat down and looked through all the source material, i.e. the novels, D&D sourcebooks, supplemental material like the Villains’ Lorebook, I speculated that Jarlaxle was around 700 years old. I don’t believe I ever posted that anywhere though, as it was purely baseless speculation.

Before continuing further, I feel that it’s important to note the original timeline of the posts that are being responded to:

- The original post I made about this topic was on January 16, 2018. 

- The follow-up post was also made on January 16, 2018. As of today (June 12, 2022), that’s approximately 4 and a half years ago, and as of the time that this Ask and Submission came in, that would’ve been about 3 years and 9 months after those posts were made. The contents of those posts are very much out of date, as the Generations Trilogy wasn’t even known to be in the works at the time of those posts. 

- Timeless, the first book in that trilogy that details Zaknafein and Jarlaxle’s youth, was published on September 4, 2018. 

- A hint about its existence first appeared on February 6, 2018. 

- Timeless was confirmed on February 12, 2018 by Salvatore. 

- I finished the Advanced Reader Copy (ARC) of Timeless on July 22, 2018. 

Going back to the original first post, I’d explicitly stated even then that I didn’t believe Jarlaxle could be 245. This is what I wrote as the very first paragraph in that first post:

When I first saw Jarlaxle’s age in the game, Idle Champions of the Forgotten Realms, which shows it as 245, my immediate thought was to disregard it as factually inaccurate and entirely too young. At 245, Jarlaxle would only be 50 years older than Drizzt, something that seems highly improbable given their respective maturity and worldliness. Furthermore, we know from the books that Jarlaxle and Zaknafein got into a lot of mischief together at Melee-Magthere, and because Zaknafein was sacrificed when he was over 400 years old, if the two were the same age, that would put Jarlaxle at around 500 years old in current Realms time.  

In addition to dismissing 245 as his age, I also estimated that he would be around 500 years old prior to knowing about the existence of Timeless and subsequent books.

I did go on to discuss that 245 age because, also as I explained in that first post:

Although I personally subscribe to the belief that Jarlaxle is around 500 years old rather than half that, it came to my attention that, barring confirmation from Bob or WotC, Idle Champions’ stated age for Jarlaxle is just as valid as other speculations about his age. 

What is considered canon has always been a struggle for WotC, with so many different types of media and products to manage, which ultimately led them to them declaring a bunch of things as being non-canon to the TTRPG part of D&D on July 21, 2021. However, before that point, basically anything that appeared in official WotC products could be canon, and in fact there was a lot of debate about the listed information in Idle Champions due to the game being an official WotC product but also presenting information that many fans found incongruent. As someone who has always tried to find ways to make seemingly nonsensical canon make sense, as well as being a resource that others come to for that kind of thing, I wrote this bit as an effort to reconcile Idle Champions’ given age for Jarlaxle:

Playing Devil’s Advocate, practically speaking, it’s possible for Jarlaxle to be as young as 245. Yvonnel the Eternal gave birth to Gromph when she was 1355 years old. Although it makes a certain degree of sense for a drow Matron Mother to produce offspring quickly in succession after achieving her seat of power, there might have been complicating factors that caused the third-born son to appear especially late, with only daughters appearing before Jarlaxle. Although we only get to see some of Yvonnel the Eternal’s children, she had twenty of them, fifteen of whom were priestesses. Given how favored females were in drow society and how such a high ratio of female to male offspring signified Lolth’s favor, Yvonnel the Eternal probably wasn’t in a real hurry to pop out her 3rd son. But, it had to happen eventually, and it’s not like she ever had to worry about becoming infertile. After all, even as she approached 2000 she was able to birth Berg'inyon, and it’s likely that had she not been cut down by Bruenor’s axe she’d pop out a few more Baenres.

It should be clear from the very beginning of the sentence that I didn’t actually believe that Jarlaxle was 245, if the paragraphs prior didn’t already convey that. I cited that I was playing devil’s advocate, which means taking an opposing or unpopular cause for the sake of argument or to expose it to a thorough examination. In this case, I took that position to offer a possible interpretation for a way in which Idle Champions’ canon could be valid. I also did this for a more whimsical reason, which I’d explained in the last paragraph of that post:

I’m putting all of this out there though as I’d imagine some might be interested in a teacher/student scenario involving Zaknafein and Jarlaxle, in which the former would out-age the latter by a couple centuries. This isn’t something that I care about much one way or another, but I figured some might have a lot of fun with it. :P

I wanted to note that there are precision issues with your statement, “Drow can live up to 700 years (except for a few notable examples)“. It is the case that drow certainly can live up to 700 years, and as you noted, Yvonnel the Eternal was one such outlier, having lived to 2000 years. However, your statement gives the impression that the average lifespan of (Lolthite) drow is around 700 years, which is very much not the case. In general, elves have average lifespans of 750 years, however the average lifespan of Lolthite drow is significantly lower, due to the nature of their society compounded by the dangers of the Underdark. As for specifically how much lower, let’s look at the likely origins of the average lifespans for elves stated on the Forgotten Realms Wiki (with thanks to Tolantra):

By 2e rules, the maximum lifespan of elves is 750 years, with the maximum for drow being 525, minimums being 354 and 228 respectively. These ranges only take into account non-outliers, such as infant sacrifices and unnatural old coots like Yvonnel the Eternal. 

Going back to Jarlaxle, as of this point in time, there’s no way to know exactly how old he is. We may be given this information in the future. As of what we have available now, as of the current Realms year in the novels, which is 1490 or 1491 DR, we’re led to believe that Jarlaxle is older than 473. Starlight Enclave takes place in 1490 DR, and the ARC of Glacier’s Edge doesn’t give any specific dates (although this could change in the published version). Glacier’s Edge does state that the northbound party spends several months in Callidae, but it isn’t specified how many months. 

Briza would be 473 if she had not died, and her age is the only detail that we are explicitly told. Jarlaxle believes that Briza is younger than he is, but this is far from being hard evidence. He could well be right, but he could just as well be off in his guess, especially with how elven appearances cease aging after reaching sexual maturity, not to mention there existing the phenomenon that some people are older or younger than they appear. It’s shaky to build solid conclusions based on speculation, which is what Jarlaxle does when he ponders Briza’s age. He could very well be the same age as Briza, possibly even younger.

In summary, although it is most likely the case that Jarlaxle is older than Briza and is around 500 years of age, there is no way to tell for sure with the information that is available currently. It’s even inaccurate to put down a specific age range for him, because there isn’t hard evidence for it. We would need to see the details for any assertions related to his age, otherwise any such assertions are purely headcanon. Which is perfectly fine, but it isn’t canon. ]]