#yikesimonfire

[walker-journal]

Clocks and Cyrophoenix (Adam +Alfie- POTW)

Characters: Alfonzo Ramirez (Phoenix- Annie), Adam Walker (Hunter-Tapir)

Summary: The search for Nell continues in a frost dimension where Adam meets a grouchy charmander. 

Content Warnings: head trauma 

One minute Alfie was walking back to his apartment from a quick stop at the mailboxes, and the next he found himself at the edge of a cliff. His heart lurched into his throat as he reeled back in the nick of time, barely evading what was most certainly a fall to his death. Loose rocks beneath his feet tumbled over the precipice.

Wild eyes frantically took in his new surroundings; colossal pillars stretched beyond the void overhead. The air hummed menacingly along with the echoes of animalistic grunts — the source of which were out of sight. Frost covering the ground turned to sludge underneath his feet as condensation formed from his breath.

This wasn’t the elevator.

“Son of a bitch,” Alfie breathed, stumbling backwards as he shook the slush from his shoes. His day was going so well up until now. He turned slowly, trying to get his bearings on the unfamiliar environment. If there had been an outlet, it was long gone, leaving only a winding ravine behind him. He was left with no choice but to follow it in hopes of getting out of whatever hellscape he’d been thrust into.

He knew he should have taken the stairs today.

A figure dropped down from the edge of the ravine in a rush of white, beige, and glistening metal spikes. The assailant was dressed in the pale camo of arctic warfare gear, the darker colors of bandoliers and a goggled helmet were the only parts of their silhouette distinct from the surrounding snow. Black blood already drenched the tips of the two surgically sharp ice picks the attacker wielded in each hand. A shadow fell over Alfie as those brutal points descended towards his skull.

Yet the figure’s deadly blitz was broken by a sudden hesitation. The arctic soldier veered away from Alfie, sliding down onto the ravine bottom in an awkward stumbling gait as they tried to work off the momentum of the aborted assassination.

Two gloved hands reached up to lift opaque black goggles up from squinting brown eyes.

“Alfie?”

If Alfie thought his situation couldn’t get any worse, he was wrong. He hadn’t been travelling through the ravine for more than five — ten? fifteen? — minutes before being ambushed. He was completely unaware of anything lurking above until it was too late.

As the figure dropped into his field of vision, Alfie staggered backwards. With a piercing yelp, his back hit the ground and he scrambled to regain his footing. Not that it would have helped him any, but he was prepared to bolt away until the hulking silhouette gave pause and spoke his name.

He sat there, dumbfounded, as his eyes focused on the form of… a man? No — not just any man, but an irritatingly familiar one at that.

“Adam?!” Alfie questioned, incredulously.

What kind of fever dream was this? First, the elevator-turned-hell-dimension, and now Nell’s boyfriend was here? In all fairness, it could have been far worse. Still, he was floored.

“Uh, not to sound rude or anything,” Alfie said, pushing himself to his feet as the melting ice ferociously nipped at his skin. “But what the fuck?”

“The fuck today is that your ass is in Ice Hell,” Adam said, pointing one bloody ice pick up towards the sky.

  At first the sky appeared to be filled with moons, hundreds upon hundreds of pale lunar shapes, some of which loomed so large over the horizon that collision seemed possible. However more scrutiny revealed them to planet-sized icebergs floating in a frigid voice. Titanic ice bridges stretched across the emptiness between some of the colossus ice shapes in the sky, forming a glittering lattice which refracted light in dizzying refractions, casting everything in an eternal glittering twilight.

“Thought you might be another demon or one of the heat-drinker corpses when I picked up your vibes,” the Hunter explained. “But hey man! You're alive and not a chest burster alien! Sweet!”

“Ice Hell,” scoffed Alfie. That was just his luck, wasn’t it?

As he wiped his damp hands against his jeans, Alfie’s gaze followed Adam’s gesture to the sky above. He had been so preoccupied earlier by how he was going to get back home that he didn’t even notice the moons gleaming above. It was beautiful — or as beautiful as a hell dimension could be; not that Alfie had any experience with them.

His eyes fell back on Adam as he let out a disgruntled sigh. The palms of his hands ached as a result of the ice melting beneath his touch, but at least he still had his life. All things considered, it could have been much worse. Like being impaled with one of the Hunter’s menacing ice picks.

“Yeah, for now,” Alfie huffed. “Appreciate the whole… not killing me thing.” The same could have been said even in White Crest. Why Nell thought dating a Hunter was a good idea was beyond him, but at least she’d managed to keep the Ramirez family secret under wraps for this long. Still, Alfie didn’t trust Adam as far as he could throw him — which meant he didn’t trust him at all.

“You don’t happen to know how to get the hell out of here, do you?”

“Neat trick,” Adam observed with feigned casualness as he watched the snow melt at Alfie’s touch. “How’re you doin that? It’d definitely save on hand warmers.”

“No problem man,” the arctic soldier replied with a grin, meeting Alfie’s barbed sarcasm with the blunt force of supposed earnestness. Adam had learned that passive aggressiveness was best met by taking everything they said literally. It was one of those private little games the footballer liked to play under the guise of thuggish dull-wittedness.

“Sure thing dude.” Adam took a few steps back and pointed up...and up….and up behind Alfie.

Both men stood in the shadow of a mountainous glacier. From the center of the behemoth mass of ice rose Voorhees Clocktower, towering above the demon wastes as if it were the last visible landmark of White Crest remaining after the Earth succumbed to polar night. Whether the frozen clocktower were some kind of copy or somehow an extension of their world into this dimension Adam couldn’t really say.

“The exit of this nut-freezer locker is at the top of the clocktower,” Adam supplied.

Leave it to Adam to notice the ice turn to slush at Alfie’s touch. He knew he needed to be careful about what he said to the other man, but finding the balance between an acceptable excuse and being suspicious was a difficult thing to manage. For a moment, Alfie considered lying that he was a spellcaster. He knew enough about them to potentially fake it, but he also had a feeling that Adam knew just as much — if not more — about spellcasters than he did.

“Trust me, it’s not that great,” Alfie answered dismissively. Regulating his body temperature was a helluva lot more difficult when his skin screamed out in pain from the damage the snow inflicted. On the other hand, if he didn’t regain some kind of control over it, he’d have much bigger problems than rousing Adam’s suspicions.

Alfie’s jaw dropped when Adam drew his attention to the clock tower. No way in hell — no pun intended — was he going to make it up there on his own. Especially not if he had more than being mistaken for a demon to be worried about. He remembered the mention of “heat-drinker corpses” and swallowed hard. So much for being alive.

“I’m gonna take a wild guess and say there’s not a bridge or anything up there, huh?” Alfie quipped. Wishful thinking. “Say, Adam… You’re not busy by any chance, are ya? I could use a tour guide if—” His words were abruptly cut by a blood-curdling screech. Eyes wide, Alfie froze.

“What the hell was that?” sputtered Alfie; the words jumbling together and coming out almost incomprehensible.

“One those No-face-yetis,” surmised Adam, without much sign of surprise.

The ravine walls merely came up to the hips of the figure that stepped down into the gulch, tall enough to easily discern at a distance. It seemed both skeleton and insectoid, a vague humanoid shape whose exposed bones seemed as much chitinous  exoskeleton as they were ossein. As the Hunter had said, the ‘Yeti’ had no facial features of any kind, only a long toothless slit down the entire center length of its body that parted and closed in long rasping breaths. Its arms hung down nearly to its feet, all its cadaverously slender limbs tipped with long claws that seemed merely an extension of its chitinous bones. Dark hair clung to the patches not covered in exoskeleton, forming a black mane that rippled in the arctic wind.

“I named that one Jasper-Rasper,” Adam informed Alfie, as if this were the most important point as he frantically motioned for Leah’s nerd brother to run like hell.

“No-face-yetis,” Alfie repeated; testing out the words to see if that would help them make more sense. It didn’t. Seeing the beast in the flesh was just as surreal. But he had to admit, Adam’s description was upsettingly accurate.

Alfie was already worse for wear. There were blisters forming on his hands where he pushed himself off of the ice; his elbows, too, were inflamed from the contact during his fall. But he had no intentions of dying — especially not here.

“You gave it a pet name?” he asked incredulously, shooting the other man a look of disbelief. “I’m not sure if that helps,” Alfie quipped. Either way, he wasn’t about to stand around long enough to find out. The moment Adam gestured in the opposite direction of ‘Jasper-Rasper’, Alfie pivoted sharply. The soles of his shoes disagreed with the texture of the ground as he ran back down the ravine.

Just when he thought he was safely out of reach, the earth trembled beneath him. Bleary eyes did their level best to concentrate on the path ahead. The way was blocked. Not by one, but two menacing creatures, far smaller in stature than the burly yeti. Alfie’s heart leaped into his throat and he skidded to a halt. Curious heads rose from the center of precariously slumped shoulders. For a moment, they didn’t seem to notice him standing frozen in his tracks. A cloud of smoke formed as Alfie’s breath mixed with the frigid air. Suddenly, the figures bolted towards him.

Without thinking, Alfie allowed adrenaline to take control of him. His arms raised, palms facing the pair of demons charging down the ravine. Flames sprouted from his fingertips and spread to his wrists. Alfie braced himself, daring them to come any closer. He couldn’t rely on Adam to save him. He wouldn’t. He was going to get the hell out of here and pull his own weight doing so.

Apparently Alfie was a grouchy charmander, but death was approaching too quickly for Adam to question it.

“Uh oh, Mantis Dogs, watch out for the grabby claws, they’ll pull you under and rip you apart with the other legs.”

The ‘Mantis Dogs’ in question were demonic hexapods with a pair of raised forelimbs. Their bodies were covered in shaggy fur whose extremely pale shade of blue  blended in well with the glacial ice of the ravine. Although their six legs were vaguely canine, the bone spurs on the back of their limbs were long and hooked for snagging prey in a deadly grapple. Drool dripped from eager panting mouths surrounded by a ring of faceted sapphire eyes. Spined raptorial legs like those of a mantid extended from the lesser demon’s hairy shoulders, lunging out at Adam as the closest of the insectile canines came within grabbing range.

Conscious of the giant faceless approaching them from the rear, Adam dropped to his knees as the demon’s mantid claw thrashed at the thin air where his shoulders had been moments before. The Hunter swung one of his ice picks and lodged it in the demon’s side, carved a long furrow that seeped noxious white blood as the creature’s momentum sent it careening past him.

Alfie hated it here. He hated the cold. He hated the snow. He hated the various hell-beasts there were wandering around that wanted to kill him. Not to mention that there were evidently monsters running around that fed off heat and would surely suck him dry.

As Adam effortlessly tussled with one of the Mantis Dogs, Alfie concentrated on the other. Clearly, the flames weren’t keeping either of the creatures away. He flinched as the second Mantis Dog lurched forward with bared teeth. Reflexively, Alfie flicked his wrists and two orbs of fire hurdled towards the beast just as it launched itself into the air for its attack.

Alfie stumbled backwards with labored breaths, narrowly dodging the marred body whirring past. The world around him was a blur and his heart pounded in his chest. Putting out that much energy was draining enough in a normal environment. But here? With his hands and elbows already blistered by the ice water, he was already weaker than usual.

The screams of the hexapod intermingled with the ringing of his ears. Slowly, Alfie’s eyes focused on the scene unfurling before him; a thrashing heap of flame and fur as the creature screeched in agony. “I shouldn’t have done that,” he admitted. His eyes fell back on Adam before he glanced over his shoulder to the faceless yeti behind them.

“What now?” he asked shrilly.

“Into the caves Charmander,” Adam shouted as he buried an ice-pick hilt deep in one of the Mantis Dog’s forelimbs and twisted the weapon. There was a sickening crack as the mantid claw snapped, dangling from a few tendons as the insectile canine howled in agony.

But pain shuddered up through Adam’s leg as he drove the other pick deep into one of the Mantis-Dog’s pupil-less blue eyes and kicked the creature off him. He looked down to see one of the demon’s hooted leg spurs had gotten him on the thigh. It was just a graze, but with how sharp demonic claws were that’d been more than enough to slice a laceration down his leg and rip open his arctic gear to the cold.

Shit shit shit, not good.

But a huge shadow fell over the ravine and Adam didn’t have time to think about that. A rush of displaced air let the Hunter know what was coming without having to look up.

“Alfie heads up!” Adam ignored the agony in shooting up his leg as he sprinted towards Leah’s dumbass brother. With no time to explain, the footballer slammed into Alfie with a full bodied tackle, slamming him against the ravine’s ice wall.

Jasper the Rasper’s taloned hand slammed down where both men had been seconds before. The impact of the giant’s blow carved a deep fissure into the ravine’s floor. More jagged ruptures spiderwebbed outward from the broken crater and shuddering cracks wracked the ice walls. For a moment all Adam could see was Jasper’s silhouette looming against the sky of drifting icebergs. Even while kneeling down in the aftermath of pile-driving a hole in the ice, this No-Face Yeti was easily the size of a Harris Island mansion, a rolling hill of insectile chitin and black fur. Jasper’s body-length mouth yawned open sideways, each gasping breath turning the ravine into a wind tunnel.

“C’mon,” shouted Adam over the thunderous rasping. “We gotta head into the caves,” he claimed, pointing to gaps in the ice at the clocktower glacier’s base.

Before Alfie could even wrap his head around being called “Charmander”, a searing pain wracked his entire body. Adam was on top of him faster than he could force his legs to run. The ice burned cold against his skin as Alfie, wheezing, struggled to his feet. If he had to guess, one or more of his ribs were broken and he’d need several weeks to properly heal from the water damage. But it was better than the alternative. Dying wasn’t on his itinerary — granted, neither was being sucked into another dimension made to kill him.

This was the second near-death experience he’d had in the past few weeks; third in the last couple of months. But at least his life still made a little bit of sense then. At least back then he still had his friends. It was bullshit. All of it. "This is bullshit," Alfie thought aloud. Eddie. Nell. Dying in general. Dying in Ice Hell with no one but Adam there to know about it.

Rage boiled inside of him as Alfie staggered forward. For a moment, no amount of broken bones seemed to matter. Flames licked at his skin — patches missing where the ice bit into him. Fuck this dimension. Fuck this yeti-looking son of a bitch. He was losing control.

In one final blow, Alfie hurled a massive ball of fire towards the giant’s feet, immediately regretting it when he nearly collapsed onto Adam. Panting, he braced the Hunter’s shoulder, never minding his scorched clothes or Adam’s own mangled clothing. “C’mon,” he tried to encourage as his feet feebly carried him forward. His head was swimming. He was weaker now than moments before. “I’m not dying here. Clocktower, right?” He could make it. He had to.

Jasper the Rasper’s thunderous gasps echoed after Adam as he led the way towards the caves. The Mantis Dogs had regrouped and gave chase across the shattered obstacle course of the ravine. Pain shot up Adam’s leg as he vaulted over toppled  ice shelves and fissures. He tried to make sure Alfie followed after him, though it was hard to concentrate on anything as the No-Face Yeti wrenched itself free of the ice and began moving with a strange rolling after the tiny thing that'd burned it.

Adam ducked into a vertical crevice in the ice, beckoning Alfie in as he slashed at the pursuing Mantis Dogs with his picks.

“I’m going to die in here, aren’t I?” Alfie asked once he was (somewhat) safely tucked away in the ice behind Adam. He was trembling from head to toe; his battered side screamed its pain while his ice-kissed skin told its own blistering tale. If the monsters of this dimension didn’t kill him, it wouldn’t take much for the Hunter to piece together what he was and finish the job himself. By now, the other man had seen enough of Alfie’s powers to have some inclination, and his skin burning from the slush of ice wasn’t doing him any favors. He briefly wondered if it would be better this way. At least then he wouldn’t have to worry about the curse awaiting him in the real world. “Don’t… don’t answer that,” he feebly amended.

When his eyes fell on Adam’s leg, Alfie’s stomach sank. He could fix that. At the very least, saving Adam might bring Nell back. “You’re looking for her, aren’t you?” Alfie asked, not bothering to elaborate. “I’m… I don’t think I can be of much use in here anymore, but I can try. Just… tell me what I need to do. What can I do?”

“Nah your sister would kill me if I let you die here, like...its super rare that fire chickens get to live with their kind or something like that,” Adam assured as he backed further into the cave system, keeping an eye on the wounded Mantis Dogs prowling around just outside the cavern’s entrance.

Alfie’s correct surmise drew a sidelong look from Adam followed by a nod. “Yeah, I’m trying to track the thing that took her,” the Hunter confirmed. “It’s a longshot but ….” He took off his googled helmet and ran a hand through sweaty brown hair. “Fuck its all I’ve got.”

Adam took a moment to consider Alfie’s offer, looked up towards where the cavern systems led up to the frozen clocktower and out to where demonic canines and a titanic yeti were raising hell. “First we need to get you out up to the Portal in the clocktower.”

Adam reached beneath his environment suit and undershirt, to pulled out a key on a length of cord. Comprised of scarlet coral, the key filled the cavern with a red bioluminescence that gleamed off the slick ice walls. “Our clues to whats going on a giant velvet worm that can go through dimensions, these keys, and the portals. I’m gonna keep looking for Nell but it won’t mean much if we don’t figure out how to seal the rifts.”

Adam placed the coral key back around his neck and tucked it underneath his clothing. “Honestly? Thats where folks back home could use the most help.”

Fire chickens. Oh, so Adam already knew. Alfie wasn’t sure whether he was more relieved or concerned, but ultimately decided that he was grateful. At least he didn’t have to keep worrying about slipping up in front of the Hunter. Leave it to Leah to inadvertently save the day.

As Alfie trailed close behind Adam, a frown formed on his face. After the uncomfortable conversation with Luce about Nell’s disappearance, Alfie thought it was best to back off entirely, but it didn’t stop him from worrying. Nell had been his best friend for years, after all. They may have had their own separate lives now, but he would never stop caring for her. “What exactly happened, anyway?” he ventured to ask. “I mean… What took her? Why?”

His eyes followed Adam’s gaze, falling on the clocktower that seemed all too far away at this point. If the other man had kept him alive this long, then Alfie just had to trust he knew what he was doing. Even still, he couldn’t stop thinking about Nell. What horrors was she facing where she was? Was she even still alive? It wasn’t fair that Adam would save him first.

Alfie scoffed at the idea of him being able to help close any godforsaken rifts. Until now, everyone had made it clear enough that things were under control. But weeks had passed since then and Nell still wasn’t home. It seemed hopeless. At least, that’s how Alfie saw it. “Yeah, I’ll— I’ll talk to Leah about it, then.” It was becoming a recurring theme these days.

“But what about those things?” Alfie practically shrieked, gesturing to the hellscape presently waiting for them. “How the fuck am I— are we supposed to get through that?”

“We were on our goodbye-it's-armageddon date when this portal opened up and evil alien gribblies everywhere,” Adam explained before lunging forward to swing an ice pick down at the clawed forelimb of a Mantis Dog that’d gotten to close inside the cave entrance. “We fought them and got the civilians to safety but a giant Hell Worm grabbed Nell when she was trying to close the portal.”

Adam nodded to one of the safety lines stacked to the wall that he’d set up earlier to spelunk his way up through the tunnel system. “I’ve set up lines that we can us to pull ourselves up to the clocktower. We’ll have to make it past Grabby Gabby, but it’s probably the fastest way home.”

Alfie’s brow raised at the mention of an armageddon date — a goodbye one at that. It was almost as if they were expecting to get themselves killed. But what did he know? If given the chance, Alfie would probably take the opportunity to spend time with someone he loved in the midst of the world crumbling, too. “A giant Hell Worm,” he tittered, running his palm down the length of his face. Knowing the nitty-gritty details of Nell’s disappearance didn’t make him feel any better. If anything, he felt worse.

“That sounds… dangerous,” Alfie remarked once Adam took the opportunity to explain his emergency route to safety. He felt drained enough as it was and heaving himself up the side of a cliff made out of frozen water didn’t sound ideal. What other choice did he have at this point? “After you, I guess.”

Adam produced a flashlight and affixed it to his helmet. He offered a carabiner to Alfie so that he might latch himself onto the safety line before beginning to climb hand over hand up the slick incline. He led the way up ice shelves and hacked his way through the perpetual forests of icicles that formed strange silent forests in the tunnels. The expeditioners’ reflections were cast in dim distortions through the caves, and Adam occasionally raised a hand for a halt and flicked off the light as much larger shapes momentarily drifted across the ice, or even directly through it in some cases.

“So, have you and Leah always been together? Did you like, rule Rome or something back in the day,” Adam asked as he washed a massive many-limbed shape swim through the ice below them as if where a whale drifting in the ocean.

Hooking himself onto the line behind Adam, Alfie cautiously trailed behind him. As much as he tried to mirror Adam’s every move, he couldn’t help but envision a tragic death for the both of them when his eyes wandered for too long. His knees buckled underneath him, threatening to make his fears become a reality before Adam spoke up.

“Not always, no,” Alfie mindlessly replied. His eyes shot back up to Adam on the line ahead of him once he realized he’d said too much. As far as Alfie was aware, Leah wasn’t privy to this sort of information herself. “I mean… we’ve been around each other for as long as I can remember, but unless one of our parents has something to hide, I think it’s safe to say we’re not fully related.” Alfie wasn’t sure if this was making things better or worse for his case.

“Like you said before, it’s pretty rare for… people like us to stick together.” Despite the fact that Adam knew, Alfie still couldn’t bring himself to say the word ‘phoenix’ in front of him. “Definitely didn’t rule ancient Rome together, though. I don’t think either of us have been around that long.” As grateful as Alfie was for the distracting conversation, he wasn’t particularly keen on discussing the nitty-gritty details of his heritage. Partially because most of what he did know was from stolen property, but also because it only begged more questions about why he was fated to die sooner than the rest of his family.

“I am much disappoint,” pronounced Adam with false solemnity, “I was all ready to here the secret history of Emperor Phoeligula….Chickligula?...Spartunix?”

The spelunkers no longer how to crouch as they passed into a cave that abruptly expanded into a vaulted ceiling of  stalactites that glittered like crystal chandeliers in the lamplight.  The cavern’s sweeping floor was riven by jagged fissures tens of feet in width with the spider-webbing cracks of impact that expanded outward from the far side. It was as if something massive had exploded into this part of the glacier but time and relentless arctic conditions had frozen it over. At the far end of the cavern was an ornate door set in worked stone, a mirrored entrance to Voorhees Clocktower

“Well here we are….gotta see if Grabby Gaby is up.”

For a moment, Alfie stared at Adam incredulously before murmuring a soft, “Uhhh…” But as he heaved himself onto more solid ground, he chose to drop the subject altogether. “Trust me, if I remember anything like that, I’ll hit you up,” he stated instead.

With a quick look around, Alfie shirked away. He’d been so eager to get out of this hellscape the moment he arrived, yet even with the exit in sight, something felt off. The first time Adam mentioned ‘Grabby Gabby’, Alfie falsely assumed that it was yet another affectionate nickname for one of the beasts he’d already been introduced to. Now he was much less certain. “Let me guess,” he said, taking a few uncertain steps forward. “Gabby isn’t as social as Jasper? But still has a tendency to not let any houseguests leave?”

“Pretty much” Adam looked at the fissures for a time before turning back to Alfie. “Do you have any fireballs left in you?”

Great, Alfie thought. That was reassuring. “Maybe one or two,” he reluctantly replied. His palms turned upwards as he gave Adam a shrug. Better to save his energy for when it counted most. “Just tell me when.”

Adam motioned for Alfie to follow after re-bandaging his leg with some cloth from his bag, trying to staunch the wound enough to make the run.

Adam wove a precarious path among the ice fissures as black tentacles exploded upward. Each of the sinuous limbs were covered by electric blue fern-like structures instead that splayed out into delicate coils. The tentacles snaking after Adam, their bioluminescent fern hairs incandescently beautiful in the darkness. Soon they seemed to be running through a rubbery forest of black trees with glowing frond branches.

“If you have any fire left that’d be great,” shouted Adam as he sliced open tentacles with scything swings of his picks.

As soon as Adam kicked it into gear, hulking into the face of danger, Alfie followed suit. But nothing had prepared him for the mass of tendrils awaiting them. Had it not been for Adam’s exhortation, he would have frozen amongst the beast’s tentacles and met his fate. “Yeah, yep… workin’ on it!” he called back. Mustering whatever energy he had left in him, Alfie willed his hands to spark.

Alfie narrowly dodged a glittering pillar of black that whirred past him, just before releasing a fiery orb, striking further down the monster’s tentacle. There wasn’t much time for him to recoup. With the clock-tower well within his sights, he had to push himself. He might not be able to save Nell, but he could at least live another day to see her, and help get Adam to safety in the process.

Another ball of fire shot from the palm of his hand as he weaved through it, jumping over the beast’s appendages as needed. “What’s the situation over there?” Alfie croaked, trying his level best to keep his voice free of desperation.

“Go go go! She’s a c’moning oh shit!

Adam carved a path of blue blood through the forest of tentacles, ducking away from the impacts of Alfie’s fireballs before charging though the withered stumps to those closer to the door. But the cavern kept filled with more and more undulating coils and glowing cilia ferns as Grabby Gabby’s true horrific body began to emerge from the depths of the fissures.

“Don't look back, just go!”

Adam desperately beckoned Alfie through the door as tendrils slithered greedily after. He slammed it shut just as the cavern filled with a sound like the wind screaming as it was cut into pieces.

[specterchasing-a]

[pm] why don't you turn down the fuckin michelle branch????

[user turns the volume up and blasts ‘You Get Me’]

[pm] Why don’t you develop better taste in music? Maybe then, you’ll calm down.

[divineluce]

@yikesimonfire​ [pm] Do what where now? Not that I’m aware of… Unless I’ve suddenly begun sleepwalking. As far as I know, everyone’s been pretty anti-spontaneous combustion recently. Or ever. Why do you ask?

[PM] Go all flame on in the middle of the street. Uh huh. Well, that crosses you guys off the list.

A friend of Someone I know saw a phoenix on a rampage down on Scorch Street, thought it was an out of control witch, so they talked to me. We figured out it definitely wasn’t a witch and now I’m trying to see if any of our friendly neighborhood Phoenixes have decided to go full Burning Man on us. Seems like we have an out of towner on the loose. Stay out of the woods, there was something... off about this person.

[yikesimonfire]

Misery Loves Company || Alfie & Mina

Timing: Last week. Location: Residential woods near Dark Score Lake Parties: @drowningisinevitable​ & @yikesimonfire​  Summary: Alfie and Mina have more in common than they realize, but it’s probably for the best. Content: internalized homophobia and mentions of domestic abuse

Ever since Bex showed her pretty little face, Alfie’s life had taken a sharp decline for the worse. It wasn’t her fault — he understood that on some level — but he needed someone to blame. These days, Alfie couldn’t stand being in his own home. Their laughter haunted him from the adjacent apartment, echoing incessantly at all hours; reminding him of how unimportant he truly was. 

Eddie had gone years (their entire time as neighbors, in fact) without dating anyone. Suddenly, she was there all of the time. There was no longer any room for Alfie to be a part of Eddie's life. At least, that's what he managed to convince himself. The truth was that the lovebirds did try to include Alfie. It was he who shut them out, unable to bear being around them. 

Alfie would never admit it, but he was heartbroken. 

What good would it do to confess? What difference would it make? Absolutely none. He was in love with someone who, for reasons beyond their control, would never love him back. Alfie knew he would be forced to make peace with it eventually, but it was all so… sudden. 

He'd taken it upon himself to evacuate his apartment as Bex and Eddie’s sickening coos seeped through the paper-thin walls; seeking comfort instead from the disheveled cabin he'd come to possess. It was an older building, unkempt throughout the span of his life — this life. Twenty-six or some odd years ago, the house was probably in its prime. But rot had since set into the wooden beams. The porch creaked, threatening to collapse under Alfie's weight as he traipsed the threshold. 

By some miracle, the place still had electricity. The water pressure was almost nonexistent; not that Alfie had much of a need for it. However, in light of recent events, the bare minimum was no longer sufficient. 

He intended to stay — at least more often.

With a hammer in hand, Alfie attempted to pry corroded nails from the patio’s dry-rotted boards. The metal fought against him, breaking under the pressure, and left fragments of the rusted nails tightly embedded in the wood. Great. First he can't stay at his own apartment without being reminded of his grief, and now he has to deal with this?!

"Mother fucker," Alfie grumbled, striking the porch with the hammer. "Can't I have one good thing for once? Just one!" The platform quivered beneath him, ignoring his plea, and Alfie collapsed onto his back in a pathetic heap. "Fine. Do whatever you want. I don't care anymore," he told the house. "I could set you on fire, you realize that, right? It'll look like an accident… I could probably collect the insurance payment." An idle threat to an inanimate object was pointless, but at least it made him feel a little better. The house wasn't insured, anyway.

The house was stuffy from disuse, but Mina found that she didn’t particularly mind. She opened up the windows. It would be fine. Her dad, when he first found the place, hadn’t signed the lease for her because he thought it was quaint or because it was modern. It was livable enough, it was close to a water source, and it would be a good base for the two of them when he returned to White Crest for them to set up shop. Well, now, at least, it was still livable enough.

Mina didn’t particularly care about livability. She was just looking for a place to sleep that didn’t remind her of Bex. The house was small and barren, save for a few clothes that she’d left and a tiny amory’s worth of weapons in the spare room. She had the windows open to allow fresh air to come in, and she was sitting at the small kitchen’s counter, sleeves rolled up while she was wrapping bandages around her arm. She encountered a chimera in the woods the night before, some wretched conglomeration of an actual wolf, a cockatrice, and a flederprey that had managed to get a few good hits in before she put it out of its misery. It hadn’t even been hard. She hadn’t even thought about it.

That was kind of the goal, these days. Mina just wanted to work and fight and run until exhaustion took her, sometimes in the middle of the night, crashing face first into a stream. She’d ruined a lot of clothes, recently.

The sound of cursing from the usually empty house next door startled Mina from what she was doing. She pulled her sleeves down and looked outside. It was a young man, about her age, that she’d seen a few times over the last two years. They’d waved but never really talked. He didn’t stay for long. She didn’t mind. She wasn’t overly good at socializing; it had been years since she’d practiced good neighbor etiquette.

But he seemed to be having a hard time. Sighing, Mina headed outside, walking the distance between their little houses. She made sure to make plenty of noise, so as not to startle him too bad when she called out, “Everything alright?”

Alfie hadn’t meant to attract attention from the neighbors. In fact, he didn’t even realize the young woman from the house over still lived there. The few times he’d been over recently, the other house seemed entirely vacant; not that it was any of his business. As the brush crunched underneath her feet, signaling her approach, Alfie bolted upright. 

Nothing was alright, he wanted to state. But the girl was probably less concerned about his personal relationships than his assault on his porch. 

“Oh, sure, sure,” Alfie lied with ease. “Just trying to fix the place up is all. It’s, uh… not going too well.” That was evident from the fact that he was trying to remove a board while he was sitting on it. He had no idea what he was doing. 

A heavy sigh escaped him before he tossed the hammer to the side, maneuvering himself to sit on the edge of the porch. “Actually— that’s not true,” Alfie admitted. “I mean… it is true to an extent. Mostly, I’m just taking out my frustration on the woodwork.” Why did he just say that? She didn’t care. She couldn’t possibly care. Yet, here he was, unloading his baggage onto a complete stranger because he found himself without a single friend in the world that he felt he could air his grievances to. 

“Everything’s shit,” he added with a shrug. After a moment, Alfie realized the weight of his words and offered her a small, apologetic smile. “Sorry, that’s… probably not something I should have shared.” His hand reached behind him, nervously rubbing the back of his neck, as his eyes shifted to her own house. “I haven’t seen you around recently. Didn’t know you were still living there.”

“I see,” Mina said slowly, looking at the young man as he attempted to… she didn’t know what he was attempting, actually. Something with the porch. It didn’t seem to be working in his favor, more a cause of frustration than proper work. And then he got to the problem, and she nodded her head in understanding. “Ah, that makes more sense. Things are actually going quite poorly for me, too, but I’ve been going out most nights in an effort to try and exhaust myself into sleeping.” 

That wasn’t what Mina wanted to say. At all. Frowning, she rocked on her heels a bit. That amount of open honesty wasn’t what she wanted to share with this guy that was practically a stranger, but she hadn’t been able to stop the words from tumbling from her lips in an uncharacteristic overshare. 

“I’m sorry that it’s like that,” Mina said, trying to start again. She rubbed at her arms. “It’s okay. I mean, if you’d like to talk about it, I have no one to tell.” She followed his gaze, looking at the place that she couldn’t call home. Not now, not really. “I’ve been staying with some friends, actually. I got hurt pretty bad a couple of months ago-- fell off a cliff, I don’t recommend-- but.” She felt like she had to physically stop herself from saying too much. She cleared her throat. “I couldn’t stand to be there because it reminds me of someone I miss, and I don’t want to feel like a burden, so I decided I should stay here more often.”

Something was definitely wrong, Mina decided. She couldn’t stop blurting out the truth. “I apologize. Now, ah, I seem to be the one that’s oversharing,” she said, trying to laugh off the intense embarrassment that she felt.

Alfie raised his brows in concern as his pseudo-neighbor shared her own woes. Unfortunately, he understood the lack of sleep all too well at this point. A sad smile tugged at the corners of his lips as she continued. Interrupting her would have been rude. Instead, he nodded along, making minimal eye contact. His heart sank deeper into his stomach as the young woman explained why she’d returned to the little house in the woods. It was all too similar to his own reasoning for being here now.

But then she was apologizing and the emptiness he felt on behalf of both of them mixed with guilt. “No, no!” Alfie quickly interjected. “There’s no need to apologize, really. I, uh… I hate to hear that.” He wanted to assure her that he was going through something similar. That she wasn’t alone in her grief. That he understood how it must have felt that her entire world was falling apart because so was his. But he couldn’t bring himself to say any of it. 

Instead, Alfie scooched over before gingerly patting the spot beside him. He wouldn’t have blamed her for not taking a seat, but at that moment, it seemed like the right thing to do. 

“That’s why I’m here too,” he croaked feebly. “I mean — sort of.” Alfie cleared his throat; his eyes fixed on the ground. It was probably strange, but he felt obligated to share the source of his own misery with her now. “I live— I have an apartment downtown, but… I can’t stand being there anymore.” His brows knit together as a tight knot formed in his throat, threatening to choke him. Before he knew it, his nose stung and he let out a strangled sigh, preceding a sniffle. “Because I hear them, you know? Talking — laughing — and I just… That should be me.” 

Alfie’s voice cracked and he forced a terse laugh. “Sorry… I sound ridiculous, don’t I? Unloading all of this while you’ve got your own things to worry about.” He hadn’t told anyone about this until now. “I’m glad you’re okay. I mean, y’know… after the whole cliff thing. That obviously doesn’t help what you’re going through now, but…” Say it, he mentally berated himself. Just say it already.

“You’re not alone,” he added finally. 

“I usually don’t talk this much,” Mina said. “I seem to be having trouble with-- with my words.” The last time she’d gotten like this, she’d been young, and she’d lied about things to the point of being quite sick, and then she just overshared everything. It had been embarrassing and ridiculous, and she’d had to find new ways to get around the constantly spouting out the truth. She hoped that wasn’t happening now; it would just be the icing on top of the cake of how bad things were going.

She moved to sit beside him, lowering herself onto the porch gingerly. Mina was bruised all over, and it wasn’t broken bones, but she still ached. She ached in her chest, too. “It’s better out here. I’m not reminded of-- of everything.” Of good times and bad times and all the little moments in between. Of sitting by the pool, and doing homework in the kitchen, and falling asleep on the couch. 

Breathing out a sigh, Mina shook her head. “You hardly sound ridiculous. That sounds-- sounds achingly familiar, wanting to be away from somewhere that you can’t stand.” She wondered who these people were that made the young man beside her so sad. 

“Would you believe me if I said the cliff feels like a rather minor thing, all things considered? Which, now, that sounds ridiculous because the water would have killed me, and I can’t even drown but I was drowning.” Stop talking, Mina told herself, but she couldn’t. “But this just feels so much worse because I knew the cause of that pain, but now I’m in pain, and it’s so stupid, it’s utterly stupid because I didn’t think I could feel like this.” She cleared her throat. “Now that’s ridiculous,” she finished softly. “But thank you. I appreciate that.” Even if she was alone. Even if she was making herself alone.

“Yeah, me neither,” Alfie scoffed. For the most part, Alfie preferred to keep to himself. He was meticulously careful about what he said, how he said it, and who he said it to. Not even his family knew much about him. At least, not the developments over the past few years; more than half a decade now. The only two people that could contend this were Nell and Eddie. Even then, there was still a lot he couldn’t bring himself to tell them. 

A deep frown etched into his features as he listened to the other speak. He might not have been aware of her situation, but it eerily mirrored his own. Alfie missed his friend — his best friend. He missed the sound of Eddie’s laugh when he said something stupid, whether intentional or not. He missed sitting beside him on the sofa and the feeling of their shoulders pressed together. He missed hearing the balcony door creak open. He missed Bucket. In retrospect, only a handful of days had gone by since Alfie started pulling away. Bex took everything from him in one fell swoop. 

Alfie didn’t know what the girl sitting beside him had (and was) going through, but it wasn’t unreasonable for her to feel that falling off of a cliff wasn’t as crushing as her current situation. “Not ridiculous,” he spoke finally; his voice small. Her confession of not being able to drown didn’t even register — at least, not in the way she meant it. Alfie was all too familiar with death-by-water that the passing comment hardly struck him as odd. He wanted to comfort her. To let her get everything out. It helped to talk about things that upset you. Or, so he’d been told. But in the same regard, he wanted to selfishly do the same. Maybe he could do both… 

“It fucking sucks,” Alfie emphatically stated as he threw his hands into the air before letting them drop back to his lap with a light thud. “To hurt so badly and know that there’s nothing you can do to make it any better. To not be able to bear being in your own home because everything reminds you of this person. Because you know you shouldn’t love him the way you—” There it was: the precise feeling Alfie tried so desperately to not put a name on. 

Alfie swallowed the knot that formed in his throat. His shoulders drooped, eyes still staring at the ground, and he leaned forward with a sigh. “Not that— I don’t mean that I think you’re hurting because of some guy. I—” Slowly, Alfie dragged a palm down his face before he cupped his chin. “Projecting, I guess.”

“It-- Yes, yes,” Mina agreed because it did. It fucking sucked. “And it’s not like being out of the house helps. Being here is nice, but it’s a temporary solution.” The only thing that truly helped was moving, constantly moving, fighting and helping and protecting and moving until she couldn’t move anymore. She was so exhausted that it was weighing her down like lead, but even the exhaustion didn’t make it go away. The scrapes and bruises didn’t make it go away. 

Mina looked at this guy, this young man that she’d only ever really talked to in passing, and she couldn’t help but think of what a pair they made. But of them so utterly dejected and hurt and unable to feel comfortable in their own homes, both of them aching. 

Leaning forward with her elbows on her knees, Mina shook her head and laughed, but there wasn’t any joy in it. “Not a guy, no, just a girl who I gave my heart to without realizing it.” And she hadn’t realized it because she hadn’t thought it was possible, really, to care about someone that much. She couldn’t. She couldn’t. But she could, apparently, and it just ached. “It just aches,” she said out loud. “And I don’t even blame her for it. I’m not mad, just… I’m not mad.” Being mad would be pointless, and it wouldn’t make this stop. Nothing would. 

“Do you want to talk about this guy that you were trying to project onto me?” Mina asked, trying to keep her voice light but genuinely concerned. He seemed to need to talk, and she didn’t want to risk even more words spilling out without her wanting them to.

Alfie gave a knowing nod. As much relief he found here, there was just as much sadness. To a certain degree, he hated it here more. The weight of his self-proclaimed curse lived within those four walls behind him. At least back at his apartment he had means of distraction. 

When she explained what her own pain was linked to, Alfie’s head turned slightly towards her. They were in the exact same boat. "Yeah," he muttered, an empathetic frown flashing across his features. "Me too." It wasn't Eddie's fault that he didn't reciprocate Alfie's feelings. It wasn't his fault that he couldn't care for him in the exact same way. Eddie cared — of course he did. He offered Alfie friendship without hesitation. And even when Alfie tried to keep himself at a distance, Eddie never relented. How could he possibly be mad about that? If anything, it only made Alfie love him more. 

“I wouldn’t even know where to begin,” Alfie sighed. His feelings for Eddie were years in the making. Where was he supposed to start? The beginning? The first time they crossed paths as new neighbors? The first time Eddie dragged himself home from a shitty part-time job, pizza box in hand, and offered it to Alfie? The first time he crossed the boundary between their balconies and let himself into Alfie’s apartment? “He’s straight, for one thing. Not exactly fair of me to be as wrecked as I am, huh? I always knew that— that it would never work out.”

“I thought I’d made peace with it until he started seeing someone. A girl… obviously. Since… y’know… straight.” Alfie fumbled over his words, wringing his hands as he spoke. “Then, everything just sucked. I— I knew why it upset me pretty immediately. Not that I could tell him that. He’d probably resent me for it. And besides, it wouldn’t change anything.” Because he’s straight, Alfie almost reiterated. “So now I’m just some gay cliche; pining after my best friend.” Losing him because of it. He’d lose him either way. There was no winning. 

“I’m rather of the mindset that nothing’s particularly fair,” Mina said, her voice dry. It wasn’t fair that she was unable to be comfortable in her own skin. It wasn’t fair that Bex felt like she had to go back to her parents when she wasn’t safe there. It wasn’t fair that Mina was stuck on her when Bex clearly didn’t feel the same. “It’s very hard to stop yourself from liking someone once you’ve started doing it, even if that was never the intention. Not like that, at least.” 

Or maybe it was just that Mina couldn’t stop once she thought it was reciprocated. She’d been able to stop herself before, from caring about people. It hadn’t been hard; no one had ever cared about her. Not like that. And everytime she thought she might be genuinely attracted to one of the younger hunters that she and her dad had worked with, she reminded herself that she couldn’t and that they’d never feel that way about her. It helped when they confirmed these thoughts. They always did.

But Mina allowed herself to fall, hard and fast and reckless, and it had been wonderful, and it had been devastating, and, as soon as she came to terms with it, it had been hell. There’s nothing quite like seeing that the person who you’d do absolutely anything for already in a serious, public relationship with someone else.

“I don’t know much about cliches, unfortunately,” Mina said, “but, if it makes you feel any better, I’m in love--” in love, in love, in love, and even the thought of it ached in its sincerity because there was no lie, “-- with someone that moved on so fast I think it gave me actual whiplash.”

Alfie’s heart ached at her words. He tried desperately to not have feelings for Eddie, but they always crept back up at the most inconvenient times. It was never anything more than attraction, or so he thought. But as time went by and he opened himself up to the other man, it was impossible for Alfie to deny that he’d formed a crush on his neighbor. To hear that this feeling was not exclusive to him was almost comforting. At least, as comforting as two forlorn and pining people could be to each other. 

“You were in a relationship, then?” Alfie asked, trying to maintain a steady voice. That seemed worse than what he was going through. No matter how much physical affection Eddie gave him, it never came with a label. Why would it? That was just how Eddie was; physical. 

Alfie recalled the first time he met Bex and how quickly he assumed she’d spent time canoodling with Eddie on the couch. No matter how much he tried to push the idea aside and brush it off as something that Eddie usually did with friends, he couldn’t help feeling jealous that he wasn’t the only one to receive that sort of attention from him. The moment Bex showed up at Eddie’s doorstep with a gift, Alfie should have known that it would lead to something more than friendship. 

“I’m sorry. I can’t imagine how that must feel,” Alfie stated. But he could. He did. All too well, in fact. 

He thought about reaching out to give her a consoling pat on the shoulder. That’s what people did, right? Used physical touch to make someone feel better? Alfie didn’t know much about that. He usually just wanted to be left alone when he was upset. Maybe she shared this feeling, too. Instead, Alfie decided to ask more questions that might help. “Have you talked to her about it? I mean — that’s a dumb question, huh? I’m sure you have if you were in love.” Are in love, he remembered. 

“We… didn’t really call it anything,” Mina said. And they hadn’t. I want you. They wanted each other. Bex had hurt someone for her. “I mean, we kissed and we spent a lot of time together, and I don’t know how to fall asleep without her around, but we never-- We didn’t call it a relationship.” 

Bex was Mina’s best friend. She was one of the most important people in Mina’s life, and she’d worked her way into that position in a very, very short amount of time. It was terrifying, how much Mina cared about Bex. It was terrifying how much she’d do for her. Having a name for it didn’t make it any easier. Sometimes, it made it worse.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to apologize.” It hurts. It hurts. Mina said, “It hurts, but I don’t think I would trade it? I wouldn’t trade it, actually.” It was devastating, but there was a part of her that was in awe over the fact that she could feel something that she just hadn’t thought was possible for her entire life. It made the hurt worth it.

“Absolutely not,” Mina said. “She doesn’t-- We’re not really talking. About that. Any of that. I don’t know if I could, really, at this point. It’d probably just make this worse. That tends to be what I do, most of the time. Make things worse. It always feels like I make things worse.” She swallowed back words, all of them too much, just wanting to spill from her throat without her permission. She changed course instead. “I didn’t introduce myself. I never have, actually, despite how long it’s been. My name is Mina. Wilhelmina Fitzroy, actually, but that’s rather long, isn’t it? Just Mina is fine.”

“Oh,” Alfie said, pretending to understand how two people could kiss without “calling it anything”. It was normal, right? One night stands. Friends with benefits. Then again, he supposed those were labels. Maybe there was a label that applied here — not that it was any of his business. Just because he liked to assign words to things didn’t mean everyone else had to. 

Whatever their relationship entailed, it baffled Alfie. Clearly, she was emotionally suffering. Why wouldn’t she want to trade that if she could? Given the chance, Alfie would have easily traded his feelings towards Eddie for a normal friendship with him. That’s what Eddie wanted, after all — for things to be normal between them. For his best friend to not disappear the second his girlfriend came around. If he could give Eddie that kind of friendship, he would; even if — especially if — it meant no longer having feelings for him. 

Alfie frowned when she mentioned feeling that she had a knack for making things worse. Admittedly, he doubted that was true, but he couldn’t exactly tell her that she didn’t. He didn’t know her, aftall. So when she offered a proper introduction before he had a chance to find the appropriate thing to say, Alfie was grateful. “Mina,” he repeated as he flashed her a smile and extended his hand for her to shake. “Alfie,” he stated simply before elaborating. “Actually, if it makes you feel any better, my full name’s Alfonzo Ramirez. Just as much of a mouthful. But, uh… It’s a pleasure to officially meet you, Mina.”

“She was my best friend,” Mina said quickly, the words coming out in a desperate attempt to try and explain. “And then she was more, and now she’s everything and nothing at all.” And that’s somehow what Bex had become. Because Mina would still do anything for her; that hadn’t changed. But Bex was unreachable. Even if they still talked sometimes. Even if she still acted like she cared, sometimes. 

Did the explanation even help? Honestly, Mina didn’t know. It didn’t change anything. It wasn’t any sort of revelation that finding out that she was actually in love had been. It was just undeniable truth. She knew it to be true like she knew mathematical theory, like she knew most of Einuadi’s pieces by heart, like she knew the sting of cold iron slashing and burning through skin. She knew it intimately. It wasn’t a groundbreaking thing, to say the words out loud. It just made her sad. 

“It’s nice to meet you, officially, Alfie,” Mina said, shaking his hand. It was warm, hot, even. She wondered if he had a fever, but he seemed alright. “I wish it was under better circumstances for both of us, though. “What about you and your friend?im sorry about the girlfriend, and all of that, but… I don’t think you should be so hard on yourself, for falling in love with him, or for feeling like you can’t be around him. If he’d resent you for your feelings, then I don’t know if he’s a good friend at all.”

Who knew a simple phrase like “she was my best friend” could hit Alfie so profoundly? Eddie might not have been anything more than that — his best friend — but the sentiment resonated more than Alfie wanted to admit. Would the same ring true for their friendship soon enough? Would Eddie somehow become “everything and nothing at all” for him? He didn’t want that. He wanted his best friend. No girlfriends. No boyfriends. He just wanted Eddie. Why couldn’t it be that simple? 

“The pleasure’s all mine,” Alfie assured before releasing Mina’s hand and wiping his palm against his pant leg. He hadn’t realized how clammy he was until his skin came in contact with hers. With any luck, she didn’t notice — or if she had, he hoped she wasn’t completely repulsed by him now. The fact that she continued the conversation by asking him more about his situation was probably a good sign, right? “My friend,” he reiterated with a forced chuckle. 

“It’s complicated.” Far more complicated than Alfie knew how to put into words. As it turned out, Eddie didn’t resent him for having feelings for him. It would have been easier if he did. No matter how hard Alfie tried to pretend that his relationship with Bex had little to no effect on him, he failed. Miserably. It didn’t take long at all for the other man to piece everything together; he read Alfie like a book. Eddie still wanted to be friends, that much was certain, but he needed it to work out with Bex. Whatever that meant. It would be good for him. It was what he wanted. So, Alfie had to accept it no matter how much it killed him.

“But, uh… thank you. It means a lot, really. It’s not that—” Alfie allowed himself to trail off, his shoulders drooping once again with a deep sigh. “He doesn’t resent me, though. I wish he did, but… He’s a really good guy. He doesn’t get enough credit for just how good he is, actually. In fact, I don’t think he even realizes it. I should have told him more, y’know? Before… before all of this. And from what I can tell, she’s a really nice girl.” As he spoke, Alfie’s eyes wandered further away from Mina, deciding that the tufts of grass, dirt, and leaves around the porch were somehow interesting. “He deserves someone good — someone like him. I was always shit to him, anyway.”

“Complicated is… familiar,” Mina murmured in response. Because things had never been not been complicated. There had never really been a moment when things had been going well. There had always been something. Warden ex-boyfriends, out of control werewolves, homicidal selkies, houses falling down, a mother that treated her daughter like prey. Nothing had ever been easy. And then it was gone, and all that was left was feelings and hurt and dreams that lingered and shifted themselves into nightmares. So Mina tried not to sleep much. She was always so tired. 

“You don’t have to thank me,” she said quickly. Even if Mina didn’t know how to twist people’s thanks into favors, it was better to play it safe. “Please don’t. Thank me.” She glanced over at him, tired and as sad as she was, and she rubbed at her injured arm hidden under her sleeves. “I’m glad he doesn’t resent you, and that he’s kind and good, though I know that doesn’t lessen your pain. Trust me, I know.” She knew all too well. She knew what it was like to just want someone to be happy.

Alfie’s words were cutting, even if he didn’t realize it. Mina also thought that Bex deserved someone good. And the Youtube guy (Eddie, his name was Eddie) seemed good. He seemed kind. He was funny and probably really easy to be around, and he probably didn’t keep things from her. He was probably human. He could probably give Bex more than Mina ever could. “I--” Her voice was higher than she wanted it to be. She cleared her throat. “I get that. I do.” She did. She did. She did.

Eddie’s goodness did not, in fact, lessen Alfie’s pain, just as their conversation the day after the fateful karaoke night hadn’t. Everything was confusing. He’d never been more uncertain of anything in his life and he’d… well, he’d lived more lives than he cared to admit. He wondered if it was ever simple for him, but highly doubted that was the case. 

On the other hand, Mina asking that he not thank her was also not something that Alfie was able to successfully process. “I mean it, though,” he continued with a gentle smile. “Talking with you… it’s been nice.” He hadn’t even been this forthright when it came to talking to his sister, Leah. She knew more specifics than Mina did, but until now he hadn’t allowed anyone to really know how the entire situation made him feel — Eddie didn’t even get an actual confession. 

“It’s gonna get better, Mina. Things suck now, but it’ll get better. For both of us. I promise.”

Mina managed a small smile. “It has been nice. All the same, you shouldn’t thank me. It’s-- This has been nice for me, too, in a weird, kind of painful way. There’s nothing to thank, truly.” And maybe that was a bit more information than was needed, but still. It was true. Of course it was true. All she could manage was the truth.

Eyes widening at the promise, Mina stood up. “No. I release you from that promise. Don’t promise things like that.” There wasn’t much of a chance that things were going to get better than they already were. Not for her. She was stuck like this for the rest of her life. It was luck that she’d managed to do it once, fall in love. She didn’t want to do it again. She couldn’t do it again. She couldn’t. 

“I hope… I hope it gets better for you, Alfie. I really do.” Mina gave him a sad smile. “But you shouldn’t make promises to people that can’t be kept. It’s dangerous. Especially around here.” Especially with people like me. “I-- It was really nice talking to you. I appreciate you talking with me.” 

Alfie should have known better than to go around making idle promises to strangers in the woods, but here he was. As soon as Mina interjected, giving him a proper scolding all the same, Alfie’s eyes widened. Fae — she had to be. No one could grow up in the Ramirez family without learning how to keep themselves safe from all harm. Nevermind how disappointed his parents would have been if they knew, Leah would be upset enough for the both of them. The thought made him chuckle, although his timing wasn’t so appropriate.

“Sorry, sorry… I— mmm…” Alfie pursed his lips together as he carefully rose from the porch. The less he said the better, right? “I hope everything works out for you, then.” Were wishes a fae thing? Shit, he couldn’t remember. Even so, that couldn’t have counted as a wish, right? “Sorry,” he murmured again. Fae or not, she seemed alright in his book. Granted, his knowledge was far more limited than other studious members of his family. For all he knew, Mina would sneak into his cabin while he slept and turn him into a tree. 

He almost reached out for a parting handshake but instead gave a timid wave goodbye. “Yeah, of course.” Anytime, Alfie stopped himself from saying. “It was, uh… a pleasure to meet you, Mina. Maybe I’ll see you around, neighbor.” Even now, while he was desperate to escape his life outside of these woods, the word didn’t sound quite right. He wouldn’t last the night in this cabin.

[doc-maverixk]

@yikesimonfire

How is that even a legitimate debate? The definition of "wet" is literally "covered or saturated with water or another liquid." Of course water is wet. It's... water.

But what's wet is the thing you just put into water. Not the water itself. A fish isn't wet until you take it out of water right? It had so many factors changing its outcome it was very frustrating to hear.

[effieduan]

@yikesimonfire said

I feel personally attacked.

I’ll revise my statement: Why would I give more ammo to trolls and Alfie that I end up playing online games with?

Better? 

[nelllraiser]

@yikesimonfire I'll gladly answer this on your behalf... for a price.

Sorry, do I know you? :/

[fermataheart]

@yikesimonfire replied to your post:

What kind of euphemism is this???

The kind you wish was about you. ;)

[specterchasing-a]

[pm] Between you and I, the "no particular order" thing was just so the girls didn't have it out for me. As if you needed your ego stroked.

[pm] I knew it. But, hey, you were my number one too.

[specterchasing-a]

Let The Words Fall Out || Alfie & Eddie

TIMING: Current

PARTIES: @yikesimonfire & @specterchasing

SUMMARY: Eddie heads over to Alfie’s apartment during a time when they could both use the company. One thing leads to another, and Eddie decides to be honest for both of their sakes. 

CONTENT: Internalized homophobia tw

There was no reason for Eddie to risk climbing from one balcony to another. Alfie agreed to let him come over, and would likely answer the door for him if he knocked. But his legs were already dangling on either side of the conjoined railing by the time he realized his options. At any rate, the balcony route felt more familiar to Eddie, something he appreciated now more than ever. He preferred things this way. It almost felt normal.

“Hey,” he greeted his neighbor as he slid the glass door open. Usually, his arrivals came with more panache, but recent events watered down his usual flair. Eddie considered Alfie for a moment, a sad smile pursing his lips. As expected, the atmosphere between them felt different now. He didn’t want it to, but when had he ever gotten a say in that sort of thing, anyway?

“So, we’re clear to be total bummers today, right?” Eddie questioned as he plopped down beside Alfie on the couch. “‘Cause, I gotta admit, I’m gonna have trouble if we’re supposed to play happy.”

“Hey,” Alfie croaked in response. After he told Eddie to come over, he’d taken up his usual spot on the couch. Waiting. His palms were sweaty by the time the other man sauntered in; fists clenched hard enough that his short nails bit into his skin. There was no denying that Alfie had a tendency to be rigid — standoffish, even — but the way he held himself now was something Eddie very rarely experienced. Halloween 2017, to be precise, not that Alfie was even remotely thinking about that now. No, he was too busy wondering if he was making too much (or too little?) eye-contact to be worried about how tense the rest of his body was. 

As Eddie joined him on the couch, Alfie forced a laugh and slackened his shoulders a considerable amount. The tension was still present, but with any luck it wasn’t noticeable. “Total bummers,” he agreed. “I couldn’t fake something like that right now, anyway. Not going to ask you to do it.”

Alfie’s lips pressed into a tight line as he glanced at Eddie. The sad look in his eyes reminded him of the last time they were alone together. Since then, Alfie’s jealousy had shed its skin to reveal tatters of guilt and sadness beneath. Did it show? 

“This whole Nell thing, it — it’s been rough.” Far worse than it would have been if things were normal between him and Eddie.

Eddie noticed as tension faded from Alfie’s frame, same as he noticed some of it remained. So, this was the new normal: fake laughs, forced eye contact, and regret. He felt the familiar itch to reach out and touch him in a way he hoped would be soothing, but he couldn’t do that anymore. It meant something different now, something less harmless. Eddie felt an awful surge of jealousy for the man he used to be, the one who could place a hand on Alfie’s arm and feel warmth instead of guilt. Now, he had to settle for busying his hands by twiddling his thumbs in his lap.

“Yeah, I bet,” Eddie said with a nod. He couldn’t look at Alfie for too long, not when every glance felt like prodding at open wounds. “I think I’m still in shock.” His mind was filled to the brim with rapidly swimming thoughts that picked at his peace of mind like underfed piranhas. It was all too much, too much to keep to himself.

“You can still talk to me about anything,” Alfie told him earlier in the day via text. Eddie desperately wanted to believe him, so he took a leap of faith.

“Bex is missing too,” Eddie blurted. “I think she is, anyway. Either that, or ignoring me.” He resented himself for not knowing which option he preferred. “And… something else happened too.” His eyes closed tightly for a moment as he recalled his conversation with Morgan. When they opened, his gaze turned to Alfie. He ignored how badly it hurt.

“I think I’m making a mistake, Alfie,” he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper.

Alfie bobbed his head in agreement. These days, he was all too familiar with the feeling of ‘shock’. Eddie and Bex. Eddie in his office. Nell’s strange behavior. Nell’s disappearance. Just because he could count it on one hand didn’t make any of it less disconcerting. “Bex is missing too.” Five fingers now.

“Oh,” Alfie very nearly whispered. Of course. Everything was always about Bex. It shouldn’t have come as any surprise. If he wanted to maintain a friendship with Eddie, he would have to get over hearing about her. Eddie needed him to; that’s what friends were for.

A sixth metaphorical finger was raised when the words “I think I’m making a mistake” fell from Eddie’s lips. Alfie’s brow raised, his head turning slightly towards Eddie with a look of confusion — and concern — etched into his features. “I don’t think they’re related,” he began slowly, careful of the words he chose. As far as Alfie was aware, Bex wasn’t part of Nell’s search-and-rescue mission. “But, with all of these portals opening and closing, I—” A soft sigh escaped him before his knees turned inward to Eddie’s own. “I can’t imagine she’s ignoring you, Eddie.” He wanted to tell him that he wouldn’t if he were Bex — if Eddie was his boyfriend. “Why would she?” he murmured instead. 

Alfie didn’t understand, but Eddie couldn’t blame him. Vague confessions rarely led to clarity, and the amount of information he dumped in his lap only made things murkier. He needed to choose his words more carefully to make sure he didn’t do more harm than he already had. Eddie nervously ran his fingers through his hair as he fell back against the couch. 

“No,” he said unhelpfully, shaking his head lightly as he recalibrated. “I mean, plenty of reasons, actually.” Morgan supplied him with a thorough explanation as to why Bex might cut ties with him. Bex didn’t seem to agree with her, but she didn’t have a view of the full picture, and Eddie trusted Morgan enough not to divulge a secret like his. Not yet, he hoped. If he was lucky, he still had time to prove he wasn’t as bad as she thought.

“But that’s…. I think something else is going on, something worse.” With Bex, the safe bet was always on the worst case scenario. “And that should be all I’m worried about. She’s my girlfriend, I should be consumed with concern, and—and I am.” He nodded as he spoke, relieved that the words felt true. “But there’s more to what I’m worried about than a few missed messages.” Eddie’s appreciation for his own honesty already started to wane.

“Last time I saw you in person, you said I owed it to myself to try being with her.” Eddie’s gaze fell onto Alfie again. “Let’s be honest, you only said that because it’s what you thought I wanted to hear, and you weren’t… wrong, but…” He trailed off, scanning Alfie’s face as silence overtook the conversation for the time being. Eddie found comfort in the familiar lines and curves he observed. He let out a breath. “This isn’t right,” he said. “I’m being selfish by making her play a part in the lies I tell myself.” Fear rooted itself in his eyes as he realized there was no coming back from what he was about to say. “Alfie, I’m gay.”

It was physically impossible, but Alfie was certain that his heart leapt out of his throat at Eddie’s confession. The words preceding it were a rollercoaster of emotions; sadness, jealousy, empathy, and a hint of regret. Of course Eddie was worried about Bex. After all, they were friends when Alfie first met her and he knew firsthand what it was like to be concerned for someone’s well being that he cared for platonically. In one fell swoop, whatever jealousy he felt towards Bex and Eddie’s relationship dissipated. Of course. Everything Eddie said weeks ago suddenly clicked. He shouldn’t have been so relieved. It was selfish to think that this changed anything, though. At the end of the day, Eddie was still just his friend and he needed to support him now more than ever.

Shifting slightly in his seat, Alfie offered a small smile. “Me too,” he blurted, a gentle laugh trailing behind. “You… already knew that.” His eyes searched Eddie’s for a moment as he wracked his mind for something more substantial. But words never came easy for Alfie — something Eddie was well aware of by now. Desperate to fill the silence, Alfie reached out and tentatively squeezed Eddie’s upper arm, never breaking their shared gaze. 

“I’m proud of you, Ed,” he dared to say. “I— I know that doesn’t make anything less terrifying for you, but I am, if that counts for anything.”

The fear in Eddie’s eyes shifted into relief upon hearing Alfie’s response. He let out a soft laugh that mixed with a restrained sob in the back of his throat. He didn’t expect to be met with rejection or scorn, not from Alfie, but he didn’t think comfort would be possible so soon. His gaze fell to their laps momentarily as his body relaxed. He was safe, he was okay, if only within the walls that surrounded him. That was enough, for now. His eyes quickly reclaimed their connection with Alfie’s, exuding voiceless gratitude as silence reintroduced itself. Eddie didn’t mind the quiet, for once.

His gaze flickered to Alfie’s hand as it reached for his arm before he leaned into the contact as much as he comfortably could, as if pleading for it to not end.

To say Alfie’s next words caught him off-guard would be an understatement. Eddie couldn’t remember the last time someone told him they were proud of him. Surely, this wasn’t the first time some expressed pride in him, but it felt an awful lot like a first. Tears bloomed in his eyes, two or three adventurous drops spilling down his cheeks, as he stared at Alfie with unbridled admiration. 

“You have no idea, do you?” he asked quietly. Eddie understood Alfie underestimating how important he was, but he wouldn’t abide by it. “Out of everyone I know, there isn’t anyone else I would rather hear say that to me.” Alfie ranked higher than Eddie’s parents when it came to people he wanted to impress; higher than anyone else he’d ever met. “You are the most important person in my life, Alfie, hands down. If it wasn’t for you, I might not even know this part of me existed.” Eddie realized he might be getting a little ahead of himself and took a moment to recover. “Not saying that I think you’re the reason I’m gay, pretty sure that would’ve been a thing either way, but… the way I feel about you, have felt about you, makes it a little less terrifying. With you, it just feels so natural, y’know? Like taking a breath, or checking the weather. How I feel about you shows me that I’m not broken, because who in their right mind could get to know you the way I do and not feel this way?”

“I am still scared, and I don’t know what’s next, but I do know that I’m an idiot for ever thinking this is something I could run from, or that I wanted to run from it in the first place.” Eddie’s voice shook as he spoke, exposing his lack of confidence, but he persisted in spite of doubt. “Being with Bex showed me how rare whatever it is that’s between us is, and it’s also shown me how much it hurts to live without it. I don’t wanna trade you in for something the world expects from me, not when I have a chance at being happy with someone who makes me feel like there’s a future worth sticking around for.”

The tears in Eddie’s eyes warned Alfie that he said something wrong, but his facial expression told a completely different story. His first instinct was to brush the tears away, although he questioned whether or not it was appropriate. Before he had a chance to decide what was proper, Eddie began showering him with compliments that rendered him speechless. Alfie’s brow knit together and his eyes searched Eddie’s face, as if he’d find more truth there than the words being spoken. As much as he wanted to believe each syllable that spilled from Eddie’s painfully beautiful lips, his mind was clouded with disbelief.

“How?” Alfie finally uttered with a small shake of his head. “After the way I’ve treated you, Eddie? I— How?” A knot formed in his throat as Eddie spoke and it kept his own thoughts from bubbling to the surface. “After that?” After the conversation in Eddie’s apartment. After he dodged straightforward answers with someone he considered his best friend? After years of playing hot and cold, all because he didn’t know how to cope with his feelings for Eddie? 

The hand against Eddie’s arm was quickly displaced to brush his hair back as remorse replaced the look of bewilderment on Alfie’s face. “You don’t deserve that— you didn’t— you never did,” he warbled. Soon after, his fingers moved away from Eddie’s face and reclaimed its position against his arm. “You’re right. I told you to try it with Bex because I thought that’s what you wanted to hear — because you were upset, and I’d already made it so much worse by not being supportive. Because you deserve something — someone good. Someone that makes you happy, and I…” Tears stung at his own eyes as he choked over his words. “I made everything worse, so how…? How?”

Considering the man he just confessed his love to was Alfie Ramirez, Eddie should have seen disbelief on the horizon. Even under the guise of friendship, getting Alfie to accept a compliment felt more like pulling teeth than telling someone they looked nice. It broke Eddie’s heart, the way he never saw himself as a person worthy of being told how phenomenal he was. And, he really was phenomenal. Despite their past and the way Alfie made Eddie question his significance, he kept hanging onto their friendship because the moments he knew Alfie valued him made uncertainty worth it when it reappeared.

“Do you have any idea how much hell I would raise if you pulled the same stunt I did?” Eddie asked with a shake of his head. His hand raised with a thumb extended and ready to wipe away Alfie’s tears. He sometimes forgot how priceless the small beads of liquid were, but that could be blamed on Alfie’s emotional state outweighing all else in his mind. If he could, Eddie would forge a future where Alfie never felt the need to cry again. “The whole town would burn.”

“You earned that reaction,” Eddie insisted. After a moment of nervous hesitation, his hand gently repositioned to cup Alfie’s cheek. “Don’t worry, I’m not saying I deserved how it made me feel or anything, but I think both of us were justified in how we acted, don’t you? So, maybe we weren’t graceful about it. Oh, well, this is life, not The Nutcracker.” He shrugged softly as his thumb gingerly brushed back-and-forth against Alfie’s skin. His heart raced faster than usual, the anxiety of his confession still present, but he willed himself to remain in the moment he currently shared with Alfie. There would be time to worry later. Now, he needed to play his part in making sure they landed on their feet after weeks of free-falling.

“As far as I’m concerned, you’re perfect. Stubborn, self-deprecating, reclusive, and you have the worst diet I’ve ever seen, but still perfect.” It felt freeing to admit to Alfie how he felt about him without worrying his secret might be discovered. Without the burden of stealth, Eddie felt more like himself than he had in a very long time. “All you’ve ever done is given me something to look forward to, whether it was feeling you close to me or hearing you say my name like you wanted to strangle me. I’ve never cared much either way because, deep down, I know what our foundation is built on.” And that was love. Now that he was free to be himself, it seemed like he couldn’t stop from overflowing with all the words that had been left unsaid over the years. It made him feel both excited and uneasy at the same time.

The notion that all of White Crest would be reduced to ash if Alfie got into a relationship elicited a chuckle from him. No matter how emotionally-charged the conversation was, Eddie still managed to make him laugh. The bastard. His eyes closed at the sensation of Eddie’s thumb against his cheek and he let out a content hum. It felt surreal. 

Naturally, Eddie wasn’t finished with his typical comic relief; something Alfie was more than happy to oblige. “For the record, Doritos are cholesterol free and have two whole grams of protein.” His lashes fluttered open as he shot Eddie an impish grin. But even in the midst of their banter, Eddie found a way to keep them on topic. 

Alfie wasn’t keen on believing everything the other man said about him, expertly deflecting each compliment with humor instead. That had always been their normal, after all. Even in high school, well before their friendship blossomed beyond acquaintanceship, passing comments from Eddie were brushed off with nervous laughter and self-deprecating jokes. During their more recent years as neighbors, Eddie came to know him better than most; arguably, better than anyone else in his life. But no matter how much more sincere the compliments became, Alfie could never fully accept them. He’d run the risk of falling for Eddie if he did, not that he was at all successful at delaying the process. 

For the first time, Alfie allowed himself to lean in to Eddie’s touch, turning his cheek towards the hand pressed against it. His breath quivered as a cocktail of emotions coursed through him; excitement, nervousness, relief. “Can we just… stay like this?” he said finally, still reluctant to accept Eddie’s songs of praise. He wanted to relish the moment without worrying about Nell or his curse — or worse yet, Bex. Right. Bex. Savoring the moment was a fool’s errand so long as she was still technically in the picture. This was fleeting — even if only for the time being. 

Eddie tittered at Alfie’s Dorito-inspired interjection. “In that case, I take it back, your diet is clearly the best it can be,” he said with a matching grin. If he wasn’t mistaken, things were beginning to feel like they did before the night at the bar. Better, actually, when he thought about it. Now, nothing stood between them except for his unfortunate relationship status. Eddie felt queasy at the idea of explaining to Bex why he couldn’t be with her, but he knew it needed to happen sooner rather than later. When he heard from her next (he couldn’t cope with thinking in terms of ‘if’), he would set the record straight. And he knew someone who could help him do exactly that, if that bridge hadn’t been reduced to ashes, at least.

When Alfie asked if they could stay the way they were with his cheek pressing into the palm of Eddie’s hand, the urge to kiss him was undeniably strong. He managed to refrain by promising himself to make up for lost time in the future.

“Of course, we can,” Eddie said as if it were obvious. “Just not yet.” His hand parted with Alfie’s cheek as he moved forward to wrap his arms around him. Clinging to him on the couch made for a mildly awkward position, but it was worth it to feel him close. “I know I’ve already kept you waiting for too long, but I need a little more time to clean up the mess I made. I don’t want anything I’ve done to take away from good this is.” His face nestled into the crook of Alfie’s neck. “I know exactly what I have to do.”

[specterchasing-a]

@yikesimonfire

[pm] You have a job?? 

[pm] Kidding. 

[pm] Uh, nothing specific, really. But I was thinking, I'unno, weather's supposed to be nice, so... Maybe we could do something? Like, together. Out of the apartments.

[pm] Hilarious. :/ 💖

[pm] Are you asking me on a date?  Hold on, you can leave your apartment? News to me.

[pm] I’m joking, obviously. You have no idea how into that I’d be. The thought of seeing you outside of your natural habitat is extremely exciting. But, uh, where would we go?

[specterchasing-a]

Sucker Punch || Alfie & Eddie

TIMING: The day after I Swear It’s The Truth

LOCATION: Eddie’s apartment, downtown White Crest 

PARTIES: @yikesimonfire​​ and @specterchasing​

SUMMARY: Nothing will ever be the same for Alfie and Eddie, and now they know why.

CONTENT: Internalized homophobia tw, homophobia tw, emotional abuse tw

(This is an emotionally heavy thread. Let one of us know if you need a summary.)

It wasn’t often that Alfie found himself at Eddie’s apartment. For the most part, the time they spent together was almost exclusively at his place. Even when he dog-sat Bucket, the pomeranian was dropped off at Alfie’s. He never complained. In fact, it was more convenient that way, even when he was decidedly too busy to entertain guests. But things were different now. Bex was in the picture; not as one of Eddie’s friends, but his girlfriend. Not even 24 hours in, Alfie was struggling with the concept. It shouldn’t have hurt as much as it did. It should have been fine. He should have been happy for him — he wasn’t. The thought made him sick.

He thought about cancelling. Throughout the day, Alfie composed several messages to his friend as a means to get out of their plans, but he couldn’t bring himself to hit send. He couldn’t back out. Not now; not on Eddie. Not when the plans were made before the events of last night. So he persevered. He wanted to be a good friend, no matter how much emotional distress he was in; no matter how many silent tears he shed before finally falling asleep.

Taking a deep breath, Alfie rapped his fist against the door to Eddie’s apartment, the sound causing him to flinch. He didn’t exactly know why he knocked. The front door was unlocked. Alfie knew that. After a moment of hesitation, Alfie managed to still his trembling hands long enough to crack the door open and slip in, mindful enough to not let Bucket bolt out of the door at his arrival. 

“Hey,” he called out. “Just me.” Obviously. Who else would it be? Bex, maybe, if the time hadn’t been reserved specifically for Alfie. He didn’t want to think about that.

Until last night, Eddie didn’t know how much change a single kiss could bring about. He felt disoriented, partially because the knots in his stomach kept him from getting any sleep. It didn’t make any sense. He should be happy. He wanted to be happy. Instead, he felt worse than before. Alfie’s reaction to finding out about him and Bex didn’t add up. He sounded distant, disappointed even, as if Eddie having a girlfriend changed something between them. That was a line of thought Eddie decided against pursuing as bile gurgled in his stomach. He didn’t want things to change.

Eddie nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard a knock at the door followed by the sound of Bucket’s paws skittering across the living room floor. He only did that for one person, the man in question, Alfie. Eddie half-expected him to cancel after the way he acted last night. Realizing he assumed wrong, his heart leapt into his throat before plummeting into his stomach to be eroded by the crashing waves of acid. Why didn’t his heart leap like that for Bex? Never mind, he didn’t want to know.

“Hey!” Eddie called out from his office, rising from his chair to meet his visitor. At the sight of Alfie, Eddie’s heart thumped pitifully as it drowned. “Fancy seeing you here.” He tried acting casual. Fake it ‘till you make it. “Everything’s all set up, even brought in an extra chair.” Why did he leave the office in the first place? Alfie knew the layout of his apartment, he would’ve made it there fine without him. Did he really need to see him so badly that a few more seconds of waiting would hurt? So many questions and not a single answer he wanted to acknowledge.

“Warning you now,” he said, walking back to where he’d come from. “It’s boring. All we’ll be doing is staring at my face and deciding what can go.” Eddie plopped into his chair, rolling back a few inches from the force. “You sure you wanna subject yourself to this?” Please say yes.

The sight of Bucket rounding the corner to meet him at the door gave Alfie a momentary rush of relief. A sense of normalcy, although fleeting. He crouched down to stroke behind Bucket’s ears as Eddie came into view. His heart lurched at the sight of him. It shouldn’t have. He wished it didn’t. Yet there Eddie was, beaming at him like everything was fine — or at least, almost. There was a sadness twinkling in his eyes that Alfie couldn’t quite place. It didn’t make sense. Surely, he must have imagined it. 

“I could say the same to you. Come here often?” Alfie foolishly flirted. Stupid. He regretted the words as soon as they left his lips. What was happening to him? He wasn’t usually like this. Or, if he was, he wasn’t usually so aware of it. But even now, standing in Eddie’s apartment, chittering off cliche pick-up lines, there was a stark contrast between Alfie’s tone and the look on his face. He tried to smile — to pretend that everything was normal — but his features mirrored the same despondency he could have sworn he saw in Eddie’s.

Without another word, Alfie trailed behind him to the home office, wriggling his fingers and clicking his tongue for Bucket to follow. At least he had Bucket. Even if he was about to subject himself to spending hours staring at Eddie’s face on the computer screen, the pooch served as a welcome distraction. 

“I doubt it’s boring,” Alfie retorted. He wanted to say that he didn’t mind staring at his face. To take his words out of context and insist that none of it ‘needed to go’. Not only would that have been uncharacteristic of their friendship, it would have made Alfie seem pathetic. Instead, he eased himself into the spare chair next to Eddie, careful to keep his distance. “Absolutely. I’m eager to see your, uh… process.” Had he said that nearly verbatim last night? Shit. 

And there they were, standing face to face in mutual mourning over something that never existed in the first place. Or, did it? Eddie had to wonder. Grief like this didn’t appear out of thin air. He had a girlfriend now, did that come with a hidden cost? If he looked at the fine print, should he expect to see Alfie’s name crossed out? When he kissed Bex, it didn’t occur to him that the average life he wanted so badly might exclude the one person he thought he couldn’t lose. The dejection written on his best friend’s face registered immediately, years of memorizing his expressions and the meanings behind them made it obvious. 

“Cute,” Eddie quipped, trying to pair the word with a laugh, but it came out hollow. He didn’t know he could miss someone standing only a few feet away from him. Deep within his chest, he felt something awful clawing its way up. If it managed to reach his throat and break free, he knew regret would quickly follow.

“Mm,” Eddie hummed skeptically as he pushed his hair away from his face, hands shaking as he did. His chair scooted forward, closer to the desk. Even when he wasn’t looking at Alfie, he was imagining his face. He tried removing the sadness from his eyes, but it didn’t work. He struck a key and an application opened. “So,” he started, clearing his throat. “This is Premiere, it’s the, uh,” Eddie trailed off, blinking at the computer screen. It wouldn’t come into focus. “It’s the editing software that I use,” he said with a slight shake of his head. “Adobe, y’know.” What was he saying?

Eddie pushed back from the desk and brought his hands up to his face, letting them slide down a moment later. “Sorry,” he mumbled. He needed a moment to regain control, he couldn’t let Alfie see him like this. “I haven’t taken my meds yet, it’s making it impossible to focus. Give me just a sec,” he explained as he stood up and slipped past Alfie, leaving the office in pursuit of his bedroom.

He closed the door behind himself and pressed his back to it. Eddie stressed the heels of his hands against his eyes and let out a pitiful, but quiet sob. “Why are you so fucking useless?” he berated himself internally. “Get it together, it’s just Alfie. It’s just Alfie.” The words repeated in his head, an endless loop, never successfully convincing him. His hands fell to his sides and he straightened up. If he kept acting like this, the chances of Alfie leaving would skyrocket. He needed to keep him there for as long as he could. Eddie shook out his arms and bounced on the balls of his feet, trying to get his blood pumping. A sharp exhale escaped his nose. He could do this.

Eddie waltzed back into the office and reclaimed his chair. “Okay, where was I?” He gripped the mouse, sounding more invigorated than he had before. “Right, Premiere. It’s expensive, confusing, and constantly crashes, but we love disappointment in this house.” A video opened on-screen, a mirror image of Eddie. He turned his chair to face Alfie, their knees brushing in the process. He tried to ignore it.

“You want the whole editing process, right? Technically, it starts as soon as I have an idea for a video. You always plan a concept with editing in mind,” Eddie explained, his hands falling limply in his lap. “Camera angles, movements, position, all of that should be mostly figured out before filming starts. But, uh, I’ll ease up on the behind the scenes talk and get to the feature presentation. We’re gonna have to watch this about 10 times, so,” Reaching towards the desk, he hit play on the video. His voice played through the speakers, spilling information about fae. “Someone actually warned me against making this one,” he mused. “Something about dire consequences. People are so dramatic.”

This wasn’t right. None of it was right. Clearly, Alfie’s behavior was affecting Eddie. Even last night, he called him out for being quiet. Just tired, Alfie had responded. He tried to cheer up, to act like the news didn’t eat him up inside. But it was easier to hide in a world of pixels and code than it was being next to him. “I’m vaguely familiar with Premier, if that helps,” he said monotonously; a desperate attempt to encourage Eddie to push forward. It didn’t help. 

In an instant, Eddie was rattling off an excuse about his medication and removing himself from the office altogether. “Yeah, sure. Take your time,” Alfie murmured, his voice breaking in the process. His eyes — and Bucket — followed Eddie out of the room. Suddenly, he was alone. Even as Bucket strolled back into the office, giving Alfie a confused head-tilt and a pitiful gaze, Alfie was alone. 

“What?” Alfie questioned the ginger ball of fluff. Bucket’s tail thumped against the floor, eliciting an exasperated sigh from Alfie. “You have no idea, do you? Not a single clue.” Not one brain cell was firing off behind the dog’s eyes. “You’re lucky,” he added. 

Coming here had been a mistake. He could probably still leave — slip out the door while Eddie was gone. But Alfie couldn’t bring himself to budge from the chair. Instead, he sat in silence and watched Bucket watching him. 

Before long, Eddie returned. His gaze didn’t meet Alfie’s as he elected to focus on the monitor instead and dive straight back into where he’d left off. Ignoring the fact that Eddie’s meds were not immediately effective, Alfie turned in his seat to give the other man his undivided attention. He had to put on a brave face; he didn’t have any other choice. But then Eddie’s face was on display. He seemed happier in the still shot. There was passion behind his brilliant eyes, and it made Alfie’s heart swoon. He stared longingly at the image on screen, interrupted only by Eddie’s knees brushing his as he turned towards him. 

Alfie swallowed the knot in his throat, glancing down at the space between them. Making eye-contact would be a mistake. There was no hiding the vacant gloss of his eyes, no matter how hard he tried. “Just… pretend I’m not here, if that helps,” his voice wavered. Alfie looked back up at the screen when Eddie started the video. Please pretend I’m not here, he thought, catching a mere glimpse of his friend’s face in the screen’s reflection. Two entirely different faces greeted him. 

Nervously, Alfie ran his tongue across his bottom lip. His hands clasped tightly together in his lap. “Like that’s ever really stopped you in the past,” he absentmindedly chided. This was going to be absolute torture.

It felt unfair, seeing Alfie in so much pain while working hard to keep his own out of sight. At the same time, it felt familiar, but that only made it worse. Eddie, in a desperate attempt to keep people close, became a stranger to himself. Put on a show, keep them entertained, but don’t let them know what’s lurking beneath the surface; they’ll love you less. And Alfie did love him, he knew that now, which was also unfair.

“Don’t,” Eddie pleaded softly, gazing at the ground for a moment before an unprecedented surge of irritation flooded his mind. “I didn’t know, okay? How could I?” Either Alfie would understand what he was referring to, or he wouldn’t. In a way, he preferred the latter option. 

“The first time I came into your apartment through the balcony, it was because you wouldn’t answer the door. And I think that pretty much sums up our entire friendship.” Anguish settled in his eyes, he couldn’t bring himself to fight it. “I turn my music up too loud because I know you’ll message me to complain. I bribe you to spend time with me. I do whatever it takes to get you to notice me.” His chest heaved with every breath. Eddie didn’t like being so honest, so vulnerable, but he didn’t deserve to be cast as the villain in this scenario.

“The past few months have been a little different, I didn’t need to work so hard, and I’ve always thought it was worth the effort, anyway. I know how you are, you’re not loud like me, you need a little convincing. That’s fine, I like that about you sometimes, but if you do this…” Eddie gestured at the way Alfie held himself. “If you make me feel guilty for having something in my life that doesn’t revolve around you, then I…” He trailed off, biting back tears as they formed in his eyes.

“I just wish you’d take a second, one second, to look at me and notice that you’re not the only one who's scared. Alfie, you are so important to me in ways you don’t even realize. Ways that I can’t make sense of without throwing my entire world off its axis, and that’s why I need this to work with Bex. With her, it’s simple—it’s expected. So, just… I can’t ask you to be happy about it but, for my sake, try to understand that I can’t be what you want me to be.”

Don’t. The word shook Alfie to his core. At that moment, he knew he fucked up. His shoulders tensed — his entire body did, actually. He was frozen, still locked onto the computer screen and staring straight past Eddie. Leave it to Eddie to see right through him. He anticipated a lashing of reproach; that Eddie was disappointed in his behavior. That’s exactly what he got,  tenfold. 

Alfie tore his eyes away from the monitor as he shifted his gaze to finally look at Eddie; a look of pure bewilderment. His thoughts began to run rampant as he processed what was being said. With each line came a blow to his gut and Alfie’s throat constricted, forbidding him to speak. But he didn’t look away. He couldn’t. Not when Eddie very plainly laid his grievances out on the table for Alfie to see. “If you make me feel guilty for having something in my life that doesn’t revolve around you, then I…” Guilty. He made him feel guilty. All because Alfie couldn’t bring himself to pretend for one goddamn second that he was happy for Eddie. Because he was consumed with jealousy over a relationship that was “simple” and “expected”. 

After a painstaking lull, it was Alfie’s turn to speak; to say something — anything — that might smooth things over. An apology would have been a good place to start. But “I’m sorry” were not the words that came out. 

“You think it’s easy for me?” Alfie scoffed, choking on the knot that threatened to suffocate him and forcing back the tears brimming in his own eyes. “That I haven’t even considered how I’ve made you feel over the years? How horrible I’ve been to you because I couldn’t deal with—” It didn’t matter that Eddie had pieced it together; he still couldn’t bring himself to say the words aloud. “What do you have to be afraid of, anyway? That I’d try to hold your hand? Or, god forbid, kiss you?” 

Eddie didn’t deserve the backlash he was receiving from Alfie. Nor did he deserve to be saddled with the responsibility of carrying their entire friendship. But Alfie was terrified to face the reality that they were both now painfully aware of. “I’m sorry, alright? I’m sorry I ever tried to push you away. I’m sorry I’m not happy for you and Bex. I’m sorry, Eddie.” An errant tear ran down Alfie’s cheek and he flicked it away with a terse laugh. 

“I didn’t ask for this. I tried so hard to not— to not feel the way I do about you. I’m still trying. But I look at you and I—” Alfie cut himself off by biting his bottom lip. It wouldn’t do any good. Nothing he said was going to change the fact that Eddie would never reciprocate his feelings. He made it evident that he couldn’t be what Alfie wanted him to be — his own words. “I’m sorry,” he reiterated, once again unable to meet Eddie’s gaze. “I’m trying, really. I want you to be happy.”

Over the past few months, Eddie and Alfie reached a new level of closeness. As Alfie became more receptive to him, Eddie realized how thin their boundaries were becoming. It terrified him how much he liked the idea, so much so that his only option was running away. Enter Bex. He thought the answer to all of his problems started with her, but Alfie proved him wrong when he plunged into a comeback diatribe. 

At the mention of physical affection, Eddie bolted upright and out of his chair. He needed to put distance between them. His legs carried him to the farthest corner of the room, which still felt too close. Alfie didn’t do well with subtext, he should have known better than to rely on it to get his point across, but the idea of openly admitting to how he felt made his chest tighten. 

A barrage of apologies hit him in quick succession as he nervously combed his hair out of his face. Eddie couldn’t let Alfie think he was afraid of him, not even to save himself.

“I’ve never been afraid of what you might do, Alfie.” His voice shook as he gave his confession. “What I’m afraid of is that I’ll like it.” Eddie crossed his arms over his chest, as if bracing himself for whatever came next. “You’re not the monster here, I am.” He wanted this to be easy, but shards of glass lined his throat in the wake of truth. 

“Neither of us asked for this.” Eddie found it impossible to look at Alfie. Instead, his gaze remained fixed on a gap in the wood flooring. “But it happened anyway.”

Alfie was certain that he’d hit the nail on the head as soon as Eddie shirked away to the other side of the room at the notion of romantic advancements. Between the two of them, Eddie was always the one to initiate physical contact. It was never intimate; Alfie knew better than to believe it ever could be, and his friend’s present reaction only solidified this theory. If Eddie felt the need to withdraw himself from the situation, he wasn’t going to stop him. He didn’t move in his chair or turn his head to follow his movements. He stayed put, staring at the space the other man previously occupied. In fact, Alfie was so convinced that he was correct in his assumption that Eddie’s next words gave him whiplash. 

Afraid that he would like it?

Bewildered, Alfie shifted in his seat to face Eddie. His eyes desperately tried to search a face that couldn’t bear to look at him. It was impossible for Alfie to discern the truth behind these statements without proper facial cues. He was forced to take Eddie’s words at face value. 

For a second time in the twenty-four hour period, Alfie’s heart shattered all over again. “Oh,” he breathed, unsure of what to say. Nothing he could say would relieve Eddie of the sheer panic and shame he felt. Eventually, he settled on a single-minded question.

“Do you really believe that? That it— that you’re a monster?”

Alfie didn’t have much to say, only offering up a simple question. A simple question that Eddie choked on. His hand raised to cover his mouth as an influx of contradicting emotions lashed out from within. He nodded wordlessly, closing his eyes tightly to fight back tears. He wanted to beg Alfie to tell him how wrong he was, to dissuade him from believing the lies his parents told him, but the words wouldn’t come out.

His back hit the wall and Eddie slid to the floor. He bit back a sob, trying to stay quiet. His dad lived half-way across town, but he still half-expected him to suddenly appear and tell him to keep it down. According to Jim Carridine, Eddie only cried for attention or to make people feel guilty. It never stemmed from anything real, only girls cried their pain out.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie instinctively apologized as he wiped the tears from his eyes. He noticed his position on the floor and cringed; he wanted to shrink his existence. Eddie did the next best thing and pulled his knees to his chest. 

“I don’t know why it hurts so much,” he admitted with a sniffle. “I don’t think less of anyone else because of who they wanna be with, I really don’t, but when it comes to me…” Eddie shook his head sadly. “I’m already so different. People don’t need another excuse to tell me what I’m doing is wrong. And, yeah, it’s just their opinions, but it’s still too heavy. I can’t carry any more.”

He didn’t know what to expect from a question like that. Honestly, Alfie wasn’t even sure why he chose to focus on that part specifically. Maybe it was because he was afraid that Eddie did think he was a monster, but chose to carry the burden himself as a martyr. Or, maybe it was because he knew how fragile Eddie’s sense of self-worth truly was and that suggesting otherwise wouldn’t have accomplished anything. 

But then Eddie continued to break, all because he asked him if he actually believed it. Of course he did; Alfie should have known better than to doubt how much hatred his friend harbored for himself. 

“Hey, hey— whoa, whoa, whoa,” Alfie sputtered, more or less flinging himself from the chair to join Eddie on the floor. This wasn’t the first time that he caught Eddie in a vulnerable state. He’d seen him emotional, probably even shed a few tears. But moments like that never lasted long. Eddie was an expert at masking his emotions.

This was different.

Not only was Alfie bad at comforting people in general, he was entirely clueless as to what Eddie needed right now. A friend — he could give him that much. Alfie managed to swallow his own pain just enough to drape an arm over Eddie’s shoulder. He wouldn’t blame him if he pushed him away, but he had to try. 

“Eddie, listen to me,” he began softly. “That’s not true — none of it. Okay? This sucks. It fucking sucks. But you are so much more than what anyone says you are, alright?” New tears pooled in Alfie’s eyes and he quickly brushed them away with his free hand before extending the gesture to Eddie. “I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m sorry I was an asshole. I didn’t… I didn’t mean to—” 

A deep frown etched onto Alfie’s features and he let out a trembling sigh. If he kept this up, he’d likely make things worse. “You’re my best friend, Eddie. That’s not going to change, alright?” He wasn’t in the position to make promises like that, no matter how much he wanted to believe it. At the end of the day, he still had to go back to his apartment where he’d only be left with his thoughts. “Bex’ll be good for you, right? So… so, okay. Give it a chance. You owe it to yourself to try, right? And you’ll still have me.” He hoped that wasn’t a lie; for both of their sakes. 

Turning points, both big and small, happen every day. Intentional or not, change is both constant and inevitable. As Alfie embraced him, Eddie knew nothing would ever be the same between them again. The truth about their feelings stripped away the comfort of denial and ushered them into a new chapter, one that terrified Eddie. As far as he could tell, he had two options. The first involved swallowing the truth and dating Bex. The second was wiping away his tears. It didn’t occur to him that his choice should include his feelings as well as Bex and Alfie’s, Eddie didn’t think in those terms. 

When Alfie encouraged him to keep playing house with Bex, claiming nothing needed to change, Eddie sprung forward and wrapped his arms around his best friend. He knew a lie when he heard one. No matter what choice he made, things were irrevocably different now. No amount of pretending would undo the past two days, but he appreciated Alfie’s dedication to the fabricated life he said he wanted.

Eddie breathed in Alfie’s scent, unsure of when he might get another chance. So much begged to be said, additions to his initial confession, but he stayed silent as his grip tightened. In a perfect world, the two of them would stay like this and the rest of the world would leave them alone. But they didn’t live in a perfect world. Alfie would eventually return to his apartment, the change would set in, and their friendship would slowly dissolve. Eddie wondered how much damage a kiss would do. Just one, to know what love felt like pressed against his lips. Too much, probably.

“You changed my life, Alfie,” Eddie whispered with his eyes closed. “No matter what happens, I want you to know that, at least. And I don’t regret any of it.”

Eddie released his hold on Alfie and pulled away enough to look him in the eyes. “One of these days, I’m gonna catch up to where you are. Until then, keep the balcony unlocked for me, okay?”

[specterchasing-a]

@yikesimonfire

Not to call you out or anything, but I have seen you chow down on some gluten. The things we do for love. :/

I can’t believe you called me out like this in public. This is why I have trust issues.

[specterchasing-a]

@yikesimonfire

[pm] FIRST OF ALL -- how dare you expose me like that. I can't help that I sleep in because you're shouting at your computer into the wee hours of the night.

 [pm] SECONDLY -- I'll have you know that I do like some Doja Cat songs. Boss Bitch is not one of them. When has a good song ever been used in a commercial? 

 [pm] And going after Mother Mother like that was such a low blow.

[pm] You sound like a senior citizen right now, I hope you know that. If you had a lawn, you’d be calling me a hooligan and waving your cane at me.

[pm] Another One Bites the Dust, Blister in the Sun, Go Your Own Way, In the Air Tonight, Just a Friend, MONTERO (Call Me By Your Name), Perfect Day, Somewhere Only We Know, and Take Me To Church, to name a few.

[pm] I know, I felt bad about outing you as a fan like that. Will you ever find it in your heart to forgive me? 💖

[yikesimonfire]

Raining in Reverse || Alfie & Raina

Timing: Current. Location: Downtown. Parties: @rainaim​ & @yikesimonfire​ Summary: A friendship blossoms during a rainstorm. Content: None.

A rainy day in White Crest spelled death for the Ramirez family, not that the majority of the townsfolk had any idea why. On days like today — with the fatal droplets of water plummeting from the sky — Alfie stayed tucked away inside, longing for the sun.

That wasn’t the case today.

The fridge in Alfie’s apartment was a barren wasteland and without a crumb of food hiding in the cabinets, he had no choice but to embark on a perilous journey. He donned his best raincoat and boots, grabbed his trusty umbrella, and begrudgingly left the safety of his apartment. It would be too risky to try and wrangle the umbrella in and out of his car without getting wet. He had no choice but to head to the grocery store on foot.

For the most part, his trip was going better than expected. Alfie made the quick trip to the store without issue. It wasn’t until he stepped out (grocery bag of fresh fruits and sunflower seeds in tow) that disaster struck.

Without warning, the wind picked up as he trudged past Flagg’s and plucked the umbrella straight from Alfie’s grasp.

“Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck!” Alfie squawked. Without hesitation, he ducked his head under his raincoat, consequently dropping his food supply in the process. He hastily made an about face before he half-ran, half-shuffled after his umbrella which was now somersaulting down the sidewalk. “No, nononono!” he croaked.

Rain hit his single layer of protection and rolled down his back before soaking the exposed part of his shirt. The wet fabric clung to his skin and Alfie let out a pained screech. He spun around, frantically searching for shelter. To hell with the umbrella! He was going to die!

Raina wasn’t sure why White Crest had erected such a sweet tooth in her. Normally, she’d eat a few cookies and call it a day. Lately, she found herself with tins of caramel chews, cookies, and fudge. Maybe it was Maine that had awoken something in her, playing into the idea of excitement and being in a grand, new place. Regardless of whatever it was, she knew that she was giving the shop’s of White Crest her hard earned money-- as she should. The town had welcomed her graciously into its (unforgiving) arms. It wasn’t like she had any qualms, at least, not in the usual sense. Even if she did, she would write them off with ease. 

Flagg’s was a constant stop for her at this point. After work. Before work on closing shifts. Even days where she didn’t have work. There were too many flavors to pass up. Some good, some not so great, but Raina wanted to try them all. Plus, it wasn’t like she had much else to do to pass the time. Her roommate worked long hours at the hospital, and usually Raina was left to her own devices. There wasn’t even anyone to call from back home. Her aunt’s number rang and rang, until one day it finally told her that it was disconnected. Raina was alone, but she didn’t have to be. 

She walked out of the shop, spoon hanging out of her mouth while Rainbow Freeze coated her taste buds. Raina barely noticed that it had begun to storm, not until an extreme gust of wind forced somebody’s umbrella down the sidewalk, right out of their hands. She could feel the little dots of water begin to tickle her face and she hummed. She was close enough to her car that if she really wanted to, she could get there before it started to really pour, but she found herself grounded as she watched the boy who’d lost his umbrella scramble towards it. It continued to give chase, and she gasped as she watched him drop the contents of his bag onto the ground. 

He looked frantic and severely frightened. Was he afraid of storms? Without thinking, Raina ran towards him, her own froyo forgotten on the window sill of a neighboring shop as she ran towards him. “Are you okay?” She shouted after him. Why was he so scared? Raina let out a soft whine of protest in spite of herself and let the magic spark, electric and buzzing through her. The rain just over the boy frozen in time, a larger-platform like puddle above his head. It was small, but covered the frame of his shoulders at least. “Ya alright?” She said, making sure to focus on the magic so that it wouldn’t break. At least this was something she’d done plenty of times to know the extent of how far it’d go. It was simply collecting the water above him. 

Alfie’s heart pounded in his chest and he was nearly frozen in fear. He could easily make it into one of the nearby shops — he had to — but the pain from his dampened shirt was so excruciating that it rendered him helpless. For a moment, he didn’t even register that someone had spoken to him. When his eyes fell on the girl, allowing the rain to freely fall down on her, Alfie’s first thought was that she would make fun of him. Clearly, she wasn’t affected by the storm at all. 

“I-I’m fine,” he lied.

Wait… had she just asked if he was alright? Alfie already knew the answer to that since he’d found it in him to respond to her concern. He swallowed hard, oblivious to the sudden lack of rain pattering against his raincoat, before he shook his head.

“Actually, no, I… I’m not,” stammered Alfie. “I’m afrai— I hate rain.” Being afraid of storms was not unusual, but very few people shared his aversion to water altogether. Explaining it would be messy and potentially expose him to even more danger. “I can’t get my hair wet,” he lied again. It wasn’t entirely untrue; he couldn’t get any part of him wet. 

As Alfie looked at her, something in his mind finally clicked. The sound of rain still surrounded them, but his view of the girl was completely unobstructed. Hesitantly, Alfie straightened up as he glanced around. While the rain continued to fall around him, not a single drop landed on him. Was he dead?! He outstretched his hand, palm up, before he looked in bewilderment.

“Uh… do you—?” Was she seeing this? Alfie’s eyes shot back to her as he pointed to the barrier above him. He recognized her from somewhere. Coffee. She’d served him coffee the other day. “You’re…” Alfie began before realizing he didn’t know her name. “Did you do that?” he asked instead.

Raina hadn’t quite discovered if doing magic in the middle of the street was a good thing, but for the most part, the streets seemed to be barren due to the sudden onslaught of rain. If people were looking at them from the inside, she was unaware. The closer she was now, Raina could practically spell out the fear that was written across his features. She felt bad. Guilty, even. She doubted it to be true, but it seemed wherever she went these days, it rained, and ferociously at that. It was probably a coincidence. But what she did know was that her magic did feel stronger when it poured. 

“Rain ain’t for everyone, I understand.” She had almost thought he said I hate Raina, but that wouldn’t make any sense. He didn’t know who she was. Did he? She snapped out of her thoughts and blinked at him. The rain had stopped just overtop him, but it continued to pour down on top of herself. 

She quickly looked up at his hair and nodded, “Well, I won’t let you get soaked or nothin’.” She looked around, eager to find any kind of canopy that they could wait out the storm under. It was a little farther along, but there was a giant overhang off of a shop she hadn’t yet been inside. Not that she would try to go inside. She was soaking wet. He seemed to put two and two together, his hand outstretched, only he pulled away with a dry palm. She wanted to smile at him, to show him that yes, she had done that, but she tried to focus on the magic above his head to prevent it from spilling onto him. That wouldn’t do him much good if he were afraid of the rain. “I did, and I know it’s weird, but I promise I ain’t gonna hurt you with it.” 

Raina nodded towards the canopy a yard or so away. “We can go over there? That’ll be better, yeah?” She gave him a reassuring smile before taking a tentative step forward. She didn’t hate the rain, not by a long shot, but Raina was beginning to grow uncomfortable with the way it slid down the back of her shirt. She was ready to get out from under it, too. Too afraid to extend her barrier over top herself, she slowly began to walk in front of him. “Just follow me, alright? I ain’t gonna let it fall.” 

Despite being surrounded by spellcasters nearly his entire life, the use of magic still managed to surprise Alfie. For the longest time, the Vurals were the only magic-users that he was aware of. Sure, he figured there must have been more, but he was recently coming into contact with more people that at the very least had an interest in the craft. It seemed so glaring to him now that it could only be some sort of sign from the universe. Or maybe not. He was probably overthinking it. 

Alfie shot another cursory glance to the shroud above him. One wrong move and he would be royally fucked. Maybe this girl wouldn’t hurt him with it, but the implication that she could didn’t ease his mind. Whatever charm she was using to keep him out of the rain was a good enough indication that her magic could be fatal against him. It might not have been a true indication of how her magic manifested, but Alfie didn’t want to piss her off and find out. 

“I appreciate it,” he shakily exhaled. Alfie’s eyes followed the direction of her nod and he offered a timid smile in response. He needed to trust her — he didn’t have any other choice at this point. “Yeah, it’s perfect,” he agreed. It didn’t take long for Alfie to fall in line behind her, wearily checking to make sure the makeshift umbrella was still covering him as he walked. 

Soon enough, the shop canopy took its place and Alfie heaved a sigh of relief. “Thank you. Seriously, I— I can’t even begin to express my gratitude.” This complete stranger just saved his life and he couldn’t even tell her. At that moment, it didn’t even matter that the water soaking his shirt was causing him searing pain. Well… except that it absolutely mattered. He might still be alive, but that didn’t change the fact that water didn’t roll off of him like a duck’s back like it seemed to do for her.

Alfie reached behind his back and rolled the wet fabric up so it was no longer touching his skin. He was afraid to know the extent of his damage. As he looked back to his savior, he let out an airy breath. The water may not have affected her the same way it did him, but the same could not be said for her clothes. “You’re drenched — you realize that, right?” Stupid question; how could she not? “Does that not… bother you at all?”

Raina was careful to not let her magic falter. She’d done this tons of times. Only, those times had been done for herself. It wouldn’t be any different, right? Using it to help someone else? If anything, it only made her concentrate harder. She led the way to the canopy and once he was underneath it, she focused on shifting the water so that it didn’t go underneath him. The small barrier dissipated, falling like rain to accompany the rest of the drops that continued to splatter around them. 

She stepped underneath the canopy and began to wring out her clothes. She looked over at him when he began to speak and she shook her head. “Nah, it looked like you were mighty uncomfortable and the last thing I’d wanna do is leave you in that state.” Of course, Raina was ignorant to the fact that she had practically saved his life. 

She watched as he knotted the back of his shirt away from his skin. She blinked and looked back into his eyes and shrugged before she looked down at herself. She shifted her feet and her shoes let out a squeak in resistance. “‘S alright. It’s not the first time.” She’d been caught in the rain dozens of times. Sometimes she’d use her magic, sometimes she wouldn’t. Usually, she had an umbrella. Raina was careful not to stand too close to him as she began to shake out like a dog. 

Suddenly, she recalled the days where she’d come rushing in from her mother’s garden. The rain would fall and her mother would force Raina to dance in it. They would, but after awhile they’d fall into the mudroom full of giggles and rouge cheeks. “I don’t mind it most of the time, nah.” She took a small step forward and looked up at the sky. “Doesn’t look like it’s gonna stop anytime soon.” Raina turned around to look where they’d taken refuge. “Looks like this place is closed, too.” She frowned. “No matter!” She reached inside of her messenger bag and pulled out a packet of tissues. “Ain’t much, but maybe it’ll get some of the water off?” She offered. “Or just leave ‘lil pieces of tissue on your face, but.” She shrugged. “Better than nothin!” 

Uncomfortable was a serious understatement. Sitting in a chair without good lumbar support was uncomfortable. A Doritos shard wedged between teeth was uncomfortable. This? Rain? It was unbearable — even worse than that. At least it was in Alfie’s case. 

In all of his years up until this point, Alfie had managed to avoid situations like this. He stayed home from school. He cancelled plans; cancelled dates when he still went on them. Yet somehow, despite his caution, he was still thoroughly unprepared. If he learned anything from this venture out, it was that he should be utilizing food delivery services much more often. He couldn’t imagine what it must be like to only be mildly inconvenienced by the rain, and he’d certainly never know the joys of splashing in puddles or frolicking during a light shower. 

“Not the first time?” echoed Alfie, his brow raised, as if this were a foreign concept. “Can’t say the same, myself.” It probably wasn’t wise to overshare about his inexperience with the rain, but she already saw him at one of his lowest points and probably deduced as much. 

Alfie grimaced at the stranger’s observation. That was just his luck, wasn’t it? First he was stuck at home without any food and now he was stranded on a downtown sidewalk, waiting for the storm to cease. His eyes followed her hands as she retrieved the tissues and offered them out to him. A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he politely accepted with a soft “Thanks.” Fortunately enough, the hood of Alfie’s raincoat (as well as his quick thinking) spared him from taking any droplets of water to the face. 

Taking the tissue was a formality. What he didn’t expect was to find that his face was damp with sweat. She must have mistaken his perspiration for precipitation. Gross. Embarrassed, Alfie balled up the used tissue and immediately stuffed it into his pocket. She’d been so kind to him — more than he probably deserved — and she didn’t even know his name.

“I’m Alfie, by the way,” he suddenly blurted. “Figured it’s only fair I introduced myself after you saved my life and all.” His lips pursed together into an almost apologetic smile. “I, uh… I wish there was some way I could repay you,” Alfie added. Here he was, receiving nothing but kindness with nothing to give her in return but his gratitude. No matter how much she wrung her clothes out, it didn’t change the fact that she’d jumped out into the storm to save his neck. He’d give her the shirt off his back if he could.

Suddenly, an idea occurred to him. “Actually— hang on,” Alfie said, shaking his raincoat off and letting it fall to the mostly-dry pavement. In one swift motion, he peeled his t-shirt off before reaching down for his jacket, slipping it back on to retain some form of decency. “Here,” he nodded, thrusting the shirt towards her. “It’s… mostly dry. Should help you towel down better than those tissues.” 

Raina lifted her messenger bag off of her shoulder. She rubbed the spot it had been digging into and dropped it at her feet. Inside was a small sketchbook, a few pens and a charcoal pencil. Luckily the bag was an inexpensive one, as were the contents inside. She wanted to open and find out if her most recent works had been destroyed, but even if they had, she could always draw them over. It was a new sketchbook, barely used-- barely thought out structures on weighted paper. 

“Alfie?” She sounded out the name on her tongue. “Nice to meet ya, m’name Raina.” She beamed at him, momentarily forgetting that her name could create an unintended joke. “Honest.” The witch nearly bent down to swipe her wallet from her bag, but she’d wait and see if he pestered her about whether or not she was being honest. “Wouldn’t be true savin’ if I expected somethin’ from you, would it?” She set her hands on her hips. 

It’d only be a matter of time before the storm let up. She watched forlornly as her froyo tipped over, blown over by a sudden gust of wind. It rolled onto the sidewalk and continued to roll until it was so far that Raina could no longer see it. She had just inadvertently littered. Darn it, she thought. 

Alfie’s sudden movements piqued Raina’s interest as she turned to look at him, but it wasn’t what she had expected. He was taking off his shirt-- Oh. Raina blinked at him and looked down at his outstretched hand. She took the shirt gratefully and averted her eyes as he pulled his jacket back on. She’d seen chests. It wasn’t anything not normal. 

“Thank ya,” She reasoned with herself. She looked down at the shirt. It was dry for the most part, only dotted with a few raindrops. Raina held it up with a smile before she tried to figure out how to change it. Oh! Raina pulled the shirt over her already soaked one. She stuck her arms inside, the bigger shirt more forgiving than her own. She awkwardly stuck her arms through the holes and bunched it up towards her neck before she popped her arms back through and took off the shirt. 

“When you go to the river ‘an fish, you learn creative ways for peelin off the smelly clothin.” She smiled at him and held up her own shirt as if a battle trophy. She rolled it into a ball and looked down at her messenger bag. Instead of putting it inside, she decided to tie it to the strap. “I appreciate it,” She said again with a genuine smile. “I’ll make sure to wash it ‘an get it back to you in no time.” Raina paused, “but I might need your number for that! Or if that ain’t comfortable for you, you can come by Coffee Plus weekdays except Thursday, and I can hold it for ya!” She smiled at him before realizing, “you’re not allergic to certain detergents, are you? I can’t use nothin’ by Gain for some reason.” 

“Raina,” Alfie nodded, the irony of the situation not hitting him until she reiterated that she was telling the truth. A small laugh escaped him as his fingers fumbled over the buttons of his raincoat — he had to maintain some bit of decency after all. “That, uh… seems pretty fitting, all things considered.” Did it? Sure, he’d seen her magic firsthand, but that didn’t mean she was controlling the rain itself. Right? If that were the case, she should be able to stop it altogether. 

Before Alfie could press the subject further for some peace of mind, Raina pulled his shirt over her own. He averted his gaze as she wriggled underneath the fabric and managed to remove her soiled top without much struggle. His brow raised at the mention of fishing. It was yet another activity on the ever growing list that Alfie would never be able to relate to. Part of him wondered what other seemingly normal things Raina did that further alienated him. Would she think he was weird if she knew?

"Don’t mention it,” Alfie sheepishly replied with a dismissive wave. “Really, it’s the least I could do after—” He cut himself off and pursed his lips. He’d already mentioned the fact that Raina saved his life. Driving it home any more than that would only rouse suspicion about how much truth his words held. Spellcaster or not, she obviously had some kind of power which probably meant she knew a thing or two about supernatural creatures; particularly ones that her powers affected. “After all that,” he stated simply. 

Despite his reservations surrounding her abilities, Alfie couldn’t help the fact that he was rapidly growing endeared to this strange girl. A wide grin took the place of his previously meek smile. “I’m not that fussed about getting it back,” he admitted. The truth of the matter was that he had about a dozen just like it back at home. “But if it makes you feel any better, no; any detergent’s fine by me.” As he said this, Alfie reached into his back pocket and brandished his cellphone. A few taps later, he pulled up the new contact screen before handing the device to Raina. “Tell you what, you can text me and we’ll, uh… we’ll figure out something from there.” 

The rain continued to fall and Raina began to wonder just how long the storm would last. If all else failed, she could escore him to where he needed to go, but there was no telling how long she could keep her magic up, and with him being so terrified of water, Raina didn’t want to chance letting it fall due to a distraction or inability to hold the water above his head. She patted down the shirt he’d lent her and looked at him with another smile, this one bigger than the last.

“Well, it don’t go unnoticed or unappreciated.” Raina nodded as if to reaffirm her statement. Her wet hair dribbled down the front of her new shirt and she awkwardly pulled it into her hands, leaning to the side to wring that out, too. Afterwards, she threw it up in a haphazard bun with the hair tie around her wrist. When Alfie confirmed that any detergent worked, she gave him a thumbs up. “Great, that’s great!” She could wash it and get it back to him that way he wouldn’t go missing something that belonged to him. 

When Alfie offered her his phone, she lit up. She took the phone from him after wiping her damp hands off on the shirt he’d given her. She punched her name into his phone and added an umbrella under rain drops next to her name. “It seemed a lil fitting,” She laughed with ease. Raina leaned against the wall and hummed. “Sorry ‘bout your umbrella, too. I saw it fly away like it had its own legs!” She paused, “Or I guess wings, but yanno.” Raina laughed again. “I have a few extra, so when I give you your shirt back, maybe it’ll come with an umbrella care package.” She extended her arms out in front of her and stretched her fingers into the air. The buzzing against her skin from the onslaught of rain was hard to ignore. It reminded her of what she’d done for Alfie. 

“Not that I mind savin’ you ‘an all, but…” She chewed the inside of her cheek. She figured if he were some kind of spellcaster, he would’ve revealed it by now. Maybe he was just human, or maybe he didn’t want to show her his cards. Maybe he was secretive for a reason. Raina shook the maybe’s literally from her head as she leaned to the side, hitting the water out of her ear. “If you could keep that b’tween us, I’d be mighty grateful.” She straightened up and smiled. “‘S just that I don’t want people knowin, you know? I mean, it’s fine that you know-- that’s totally fine, ‘cause you seem cool with it, but I don’t wanna have to go escortin’ people all over.” Her eyebrows furrowed, “not that I meant I minded escortin’ you, but do you know what I mean?” She touched her fingers to her chin. “Please don’t tell me I’m comin’ across as an ass?” 

Alfie couldn’t help but laugh at the emoji that now accompanied Raina’s name in his phone. Instinctively, his hand darted up to cover his mouth as he sniggered. “It’s perfect,” he agreed, although the words were slightly muffled by his palm. With his phone back in his possession, Alfie quickly shot a text to the number she’d entered: a storm cloud emoji followed by a rainbow. He briefly wondered which emoji (if any) she would save next to his name and elected not to mention that she was the only person in his contacts saved this way. The thought made him feel guilty. Surely, some of his other friends would appreciate the gesture. It was just never anything that he’d considered before. 

“Eh, it’s fine. It wouldn’t be the first time and I doubt it’ll be the last.” Alfie softly sighed as his gaze shifted back to the storm, blindly stuffing his phone back into the rear pocket of his jeans. It wasn’t the first time the wind swept up his unsuspecting umbrella by a long shot, but it was the first time such a gust was synchronous with a downpour. “You really don’t need to do that, though,” he assured. “Seriously, Raina. You’ve done more than enough to help me out as it is.” 

The fact that Raina wanted to keep the little rescue mission a secret didn’t come as a surprise. Most witches didn’t go around showcasing their powers all willy-nilly — and for good reason. What did surprise Alfie was his response. “No, of course! You don’t sound like an ass at all. Trust me, I understand better than you’d think. Doing stuff like that is… well, it can be dangerous. Especially in a town like White Crest.” Alfie knew all about keeping a crucial part of his identity on the down-low. For years, he’d managed to evade giving that part of himself away. Sometimes it was almost impossible, but others… Well, his family had their techniques. Sharing even this much with Raina was dangerous enough. He’d need to tip-toe around it more carefully so as to not put himself at risk.

A subject change seemed to be in order. “You, uh… been doing that long?” Alright, well, that wasn’t exactly the shift Alfie hoped for. His mouth sputtered out the words before he actually had a chance to think them through. “Sorry, that’s way too personal, isn’t it? You don’t have to answer that.”

Raina could hear the buzz of her phone in her bag. Was it rude to grab it and save Alfie’s number? Or would it be rude if she didn’t with him standing right there? He knew where she worked, and she had said it proudly, so it wasn’t like she was going to ghost him. She hoped he knew that. Raina was happy to make friends all over White Crest. Some had come at unsuspecting moments, but she was grateful for them nonetheless. So Raina leaned down and grabbed her phone out of her bag. She saved Alfie’s number and attached a raindrop emoji next to it, before erasing that and adding an umbrella, like the one she’d put in his phone. She dropped her phone back into her bag. “Only doin’ what a person’d do if they saw someone in need, is all.” 

When Alfie began to speak about how he understood, she felt her eyes widen. So maybe he knew a little about magic, or had been around it before, or maybe-- Raina reeled her thoughts in and simply put on a smile, this one a little less enthusiastic than the last, but still in the same wheelhouse. “Really appreciate that.” It took everything in Raina’s power to not ask him what he meant. It was clear that maybe he wanted to keep it as a secret, but she still wanted to know. What if he was like her, but too scared to admit it? Too scared that she might freak out? That didn’t make any sense, she thought. Not after what she’d done for him. She grappled with the idea of asking him the specifics about what he meant, but decided to push it out of the way. Maybe next time. 

“Huh?” Raina blanked. “The water thing?” She thought for a moment. She could give Alfie her entire life story, but decided to shrug. “It’s been happenin’ for a while, yeah.” Maybe she’d tell him later to make him feel more comfortable-- No, was that manipulative? She cleared her throat. “I figured it out when I was about… six? I think.” She wondered if there were earlier inclinations that she had powers, like when she was a baby. Had she come out of the womb freezing things, or did the ability manifest over time? “But yeah, water ‘an I, we’re like--” She crossed her index and middle finger as if making a promise, “We’re like this.” She let out a laugh. “Sorta sounds dumb when I put it that way.” She could write essays on what her magic meant to her, as well as water, rain, the ocean-- any of it, but she felt it overbearing. 

“It doesn’t sound dumb at all,” Alfie assured her with a thoughtful nod. For as long as he could remember, the phoenix had been surrounded by his own flames. There weren’t many stories about him setting the house on fire as an infant by sneezing, but he distinctly remembered combusting in his youth. Even if his siblings didn’t give him constant reminders (which they seemed to enjoy on a relatively frequent basis), that wasn’t something he could easily forget. He considered sharing this particular story with Raina. What would it hurt? It’s not like he would need to dive into the reality of why. Still, he owed it to himself — and his family — to keep the information private. He’d already broken the family oath by letting Eddie in on it. If anyone else knew, it was because they were deemed trustworthy by the rest of his family. Alfie simply wasn’t allowed to make those sort of decisions.

Alfie allowed the conversation to lull for a bit before elaborating. “I get the feeling. Not with water, obviously, but…” His lips pressed together before he let out a breathy chuckle. “Y’know. Something being so closely tied to who you are that it’s impossible to separate it from your identity.” For instance, the fact that his skin was sloughing off underneath his raincoat because he got it wet. Or that sometimes his hairline sprouted the beginning of vibrant, flame-colored plumage. It wasn’t all there was to him, but it was intrinsic to the existence of Alfonzo Ramirez. 

“Sorry,” added Alfie. “I don’t mean to pry. Besides, it’s probably not the safest thing to talk about out in the open like this.” Even if they were the only ones around to hear. The sound of rain pitter-pattered around them, bouncing off the awning and onto the pavement, as Alfie looked on. “You’re pretty new around here, aren’t you? I mean, compared to most White Crest residents.” He didn’t actually know how long Raina had been living in the small town. “Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong. There’s actually a lot of people here that I don’t know and I’ve been here for… forever.”

The rain continued to fall, big blotted drops of water now careening towards where they stood, funneling into a drain. Raina discreetly used her magic to keep the line forward, running towards the drain so that it wouldn’t pool at their feet.

I get the feeling. Raina wondered what he meant. She wanted to ask, but she decided she wouldn’t pressure him into revealing something that might be a better kept secret. Maybe it was better that way, she thought. It seemed like Alfie truly understood, and Raina felt a small twinge in her chest. She was glad that somebody could get it, and even though she didn’t know how he understood, she was grateful that she wasn’t being looked at as if she were crazy. Whoever, or whatever Alfie was, Raina knew she had found herself a friend in him.

“I’m new. Newer than the shine on my headlights at least.” She had just gotten them waxed. She looked out towards the shops that kept their doors closed. She looked towards Alfie, too. Maybe it was a good thing she’d gone to get froyo. If she hadn’t, she wouldn’t have been able to help him. “But I’m thinkin’ it’ll do me good to be here.” She smiled at Alfie and palmed the sides of her head in an attempt to flatten down the distinct curl that came with the rain.

[specterchasing-a]

Hold On (Part 2) || Eddie & Alfie

TIMING: One month ago, directly after part one.

LOCATION: En route to the woods.

PARTIES: @yikesimonfire​ & @specterchasing​

SUMMARY: Alfie and Eddie have a heart-to-heart in the car.

CONTENT: Internalized homophobia tw

Eddie mindfully secured his filming equipment in the trunk of Alfie’s odiously yellow station wagon. As he took a step back to close the hatch, an idea occurred to him. He hastily ducked back into the trunk and unzipped his bag to pilfer for his camera. Now satisfied, Eddie slammed the door shut and walked briskly to the car’s passenger-side. The moment he settled into his seat, a pronounced frown settled into his features.

“When are you gonna get your AC fixed?” Eddie implored, his gaze settling on his chaperone. “Every time I get in this car, it feels like the air’s been replaced by uncomfortably warm dog breath.” He refrained from adding that it smelled like it as well. Alfie didn’t need to be subjected to verbal beration of that magnitude after agreeing to accompany him tonight.

While Eddie packed his gear into the back, Alfie hopped into the driver’s seat, helplessly turning the ignition repeatedly until the engine sputtered to life. Immediately, he was hit with a blast of cold air before the air conditioning unit forgot how to work. The ration of cool air was quickly replaced with a suffocatingly stale breeze. Alfie stretched over to unlock the passenger door and cranked the window open before rolling his own window down to allow a more comfortable airflow. Soon enough, Eddie was in the seat beside him.

A laugh reverberated in his chest at Eddie’s comment. “What do you mean?” Alfie asked, emphatically waving his hand at the dashboard. “It’s doing its best. Besides, parts are hard to come by.” That’s what he got for being cheap. What he needed was a new car altogether, but that wasn’t happening any time soon. The wagon got him from point A to B; that would have to be enough. It wasn’t like he needed a functioning air conditioner anyway, not that Eddie was privy as to why. “We can always take yours,” he offered with a small smirk.

“I hate to break it to you, but its best doesn’t cut it. It needs to do another car’s best,” Eddie riffed while opening the viewer on his camera. With the press of a button, it became a diligent archivist of its owner’s per view. Without warning, Eddie lifted the device to eye-level and pointed it in Alfie’s direction. He knew well and good his friend didn’t enjoy being in the crosshairs of his filming, but that never stopped him in the past. Why would it deter him now?

“Trust me, I would love to take the Mini, but it’s… well, mini, and you know that. As quirky as your car is, it has better storage options.” Eddie’s voice lacked interest—he found himself too caught-up in recording to have any to spare. “You have a nice profile, have I said that before?” he asked, slipping further into his seat as he rested his feet on the dashboard. Meanwhile, his eyes (and camera) remained fixated on Alfie.

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s gonna happen,” Alfie chuckled as he shifted the car into reverse and eased out of his parking space. With his eyes now fixed on the path ahead, Alfie didn’t notice the camera focused on him. “You really should have considered that when you bought it. What would you do if I ever wasn’t around to lend my cargo space?”

The compliment that soon fell from Eddie’s lips made Alfie’s brow raise. His eyes flickered to look at Eddie, only to find that he was being filmed. “Wha— Christ’s sake, Eddie, would you turn that thing off?” A fire rose in his cheeks, coloring them a vibrant red. He quickly turned his head away, but was unable to avoid the camera’s watching eye. Damn it. He hated being recorded; Eddie knew that. “Or, I’unno… turn it somewhere else, at least?”

As the car reached the edge of the parking lot, Alfie applied the brakes and looked back at Eddie, the blush still prominent on his face. “And buckle,” he scolded — albeit playfully — with raised eyebrows. “Seriously, are you trying to get yourself killed?”

“Die, probably,” Eddie deadpanned. If he were to make an effort, his car could likely hold whatever necessities he needed it to. Alfie probably knew that, too. However, if he went that route, he wouldn’t be able to spend his time being a nuisance in the passenger’s seat. He much preferred reclining and filming to focusing on the road. A miracle happened the day he got his license, that much was certain.

Alfie’s reaction to being caught on candid camera inspired an impish grin from Eddie. He noticed the change of color in his cheeks—so did his heart, actually. It drummed desperately within his chest, as if also begging Eddie to rethink staring at Alfie for so long. Unfortunately, he rarely listened to what either of them had to say. “I can’t believe you hate art so much that you’d deprive me of my muse,” he said.

Eddie rolled his eyes, also playfully, when Alfie scolded him. “Not today,” he answered before he quickly switched his camera off and buckled in like he was told.

Deprived of his main source of entertainment, Eddie resorted to turning on the radio. Like everything else in Alfie’s car, the display refused to work properly. What should have been words and numbers looked more like hieroglyphs. Eddie briefly toggled through stations before a familiar tune (‘Hold On’ by Wilson Phillips) caused him to turn the radio off with evident disdain. 

A strange sensation tugged behind Alfie's navel at the suggestion that Eddie would die without him. It wasn't true, of course. With any luck, Eddie would go on fine without him; he had to. Still, the thought made him feel… guilty? Alfie's time in this life was growing increasingly limited. He couldn't afford to think about it now. It would only make the time he did have left with Eddie less worthwhile, for fear of causing him any grief. 

"Your muse?" Alfie nearly cooed. "Please—" his voice cracked. "I have complete faith that you'll find something better." Once again unable to make eye-contact with Eddie today, Alfie shook his head with a breathy chuckle and rolled his eyes. His attention was back on the road and as the seat belt beside him clicked into place, assuring Eddie's safety, Alfie merged onto the street to begin their journey.

It didn't take long for Eddie to begin fidgeting. He knew well enough by now that finding a suitable radio station in the station wagon was unlikely. Alfie wouldn't complain about the music as long as it kept the camera off him. But when Eddie abruptly cut the radio off, he successfully piqued Alfie's curiosity. 

"What was that about?" he asked, an impish grin tugging at the corners of his mouth, and his eyes darting between Eddie and the road. "You trying to tell me you hate Wilson Phillips or something? And you were just getting onto me about hating art," Alfie teased.

Alfie’s insistence that Eddie would eventually move on to something better almost made him laugh. For years, his thoughts revolved around his reclusive neighbor and not much else. Alfie and Youtube; that’s what filled his days since he moved downtown. “No, I won’t,” he gently corrected him. “Besides, I don’t want to.” It didn’t worry him to voice his genuine fondness for Alfie, not when they had years of friendship behind them. At this point, it would’ve been more alarming if he didn’t love the guy enough to negate his self-deprecation.

“Wilson Phillips is not art.” Eddie emphatically pointed a finger at Alfie. “Not that song, at least. ‘Hold On’ is trite and cheap. And, all it does is make me think about the time I spent in group therapy as a teenager when our counselor insisted on performing an acoustic version at the end of every single session. Every session, Alfie,” he looked at his chauffeur with bewildered eyes. “She even made eye contact with us while she sang—who does that? I never felt like I could look away, not when she was tearfully pleading with me to break free from the chains. It was torture. Wilson Phillips is torture, not art.”

Alfie didn't want to argue about how quickly Eddie would (or wouldn't) move on. No matter how much Eddie didn't want to, there would come a point that he would have no other option. Besides, Alfie playing the part of Eddie's muse was clearly a joke. Or, perhaps more accurately, a metaphor for their friendship. All that mattered was Eddie had not meant it in a literal sense. So why had he allowed himself to become so flustered over it?

"Bullshit!" squawked Alfie, who was now fully prepared to enlighten Eddie about his previous love affair with the early 90s pop scene. Before he had a chance to share however, Eddie shared his own history with the song. Alfie's jaw slackened and he shot Eddie an incredulous look. "Every session?" he parroted in disbelief. His face scrunched as he imagined what kind of hellscape that must have been. Being forced to listen to acoustic covers was bad enough, but on top of awkward eye-contact? 

"Okay, yeah… no. I see your point," Alfie softly spoke after a moment. "Who in their right mind thought she was still fit to be a counselor after the first time that happened, anyway? Like — I'unno, you'd think someone would've had to question her capability or whatever at that point." 

"Still," he continued after making a point to showcase his disapproval with a series of disdainful facial expressions. "I stand by what I said. I think there's something beautiful in wanting to turn around and say goodbye — much like how you must have felt after being subjected to that special brand of hell."

Eddie adopted a tight-lipped grin when Alfie conceded. “Every session,” he confirmed. Looking back, he couldn’t remember liking anything about group therapy. Owning up to his issues should’ve never been something that required an audience. As extroverted as Eddie could be, he kept his cards close to his chest when it came to his emotions. Alfie knew him better than anyone else and even he didn’t get the whole truth half the time.

Eddie let out a terse laugh at Alfie’s final comment. “Real cute,” he snarked playfully before his expression became more serious. “It didn’t help that I hated therapy in general. Not only did it well and truly suck to talk about my feelings, but the only reason my parents even made me go was the whole… ghost-vision deal.” Eddie emphasized his annoyance by accompanying the tail-end of his sentence with a flippant flap of his hand. “Funny, that they pegged the one thing that made me happy as the problem.” His brow raised as he pursed his lips.

“But, uh, wow—sorry about the impromptu sharetime,” Eddie said when shame began to collect in chest. “Don’t mind me complaining about therapy while simultaneously making you my therapist.” He hoped levity would be the cure for oversharing.

Alfie’s face lit up at Eddie’s initial response. “I’m the cutest, obviously,” he chided with a lopsided grin. He couldn’t recall any previous conversations about Eddie’s group therapy, but he was well aware of his friend’s relationship to his parents. Maybe he had mentioned it before; it was truly a testament to how solid Alfie’s active listening skills were. “Fuck your parents!” his voice trilled. “Seriously — when have they ever cared about your happiness?” His commiseration was probably unnecessary; Eddie didn’t need another reminder that his family were awful. “Sorry… too far,” he added with a small frown. 

With a clear road ahead, Alfie lifted a hand from the steering wheel and maneuvered it around to rest on Eddie’s shoulder. “Hey, man, don’t sweat it — really. I will gladly take an impromptu sharetime over an awkwardly silent drive to our inevitable doom.” His gaze shifted to Eddie as he gave him an apologetic smile, allowing his hand to linger a bit longer than was probably acceptable. “Besides,” Alfie added, gently squeezing Eddie’s shoulder before returning his hand to the wheel, “that’s what friends are for, right?” 

It wasn’t often that Alfie referred to them as “friends”. The word was scattered few and far between, but that didn’t make it any less true. “From now on, that song is banned. We don’t talk about it. We don’t listen to it. It’s purged from our lives. What song? Wilson Phillips, who? Never heard of ‘em!” Alfie tilted his head in Eddie’s direction and peered at him expectantly, waiting for some sort of positive reaction to ensure he’d sufficed at making his friend feel better. 

Eddie glanced at Alfie in surprised amusement after his initial outburst. “You’re right and you should say it,” he encouraged in a light-hearted tone that didn’t fit the topic. If he didn’t try to lessen the weight of the conversation, he might have to admit to how much it hurt to discuss. He couldn’t risk letting Alfie know the extent of his damage. 

When Alfie’s hand landed on his shoulder, Eddie felt a lump form in his throat. Usually, he initiated whatever physical contact they shared. He didn’t know how to react to being on the receiving end. Alfie’s mention of ‘inevitable doom’ managed to ease his uncertainty. Eddie replied with a soft huff of laughter, his eyes shining with fondness.

Soon enough, Alfie deprived Eddie of his hand, but didn’t give him much time to be upset about it. He called them friends. “Oh, is that what we are?” Eddie asked with a teasing grin. “Could’ve sworn our relationship was more like whatever Bugs and Elmer had going on.” His expression softened, though his grin remained throughout Alfie’s condemnation of Wilson Phillips.

“You’re…. You’re a really good guy, Alfie,” Eddie said. “Thanks for humoring me tonight.”

It didn’t seem appropriate to continue down the path of shit-talking Eddie’s parents, no matter how much they deserved it. Eddie didn’t enlist Alfie on this adventure just to talk about all of his woes. If he was going to do this, then goddamn it, he was going to make the best out of it. Eddie deserved that much. “‘Course we’re friends,” Alfie returned with a playful sneer. “Though, I think you’re way off base with that one. If anything, we’re more like Bugs and Daffy.” His eyes focused on the road, but his mind was lost in thought. “Actually—” Alfie corrected, “come to think of it, that’s really fuckin’ accurate. Just, y’know, don’t ask me who’s who.”

In an instant, Alfie’s eyes were back on Eddie. Immense guilt crept over him for trying to turn down the invitation in the first place. It was glaringly obvious that Eddie was trying to involve him in his life; something Alfie tried to avoid with just about everyone who did. His heart ached. He didn’t want to refuse Eddie, truly. There just happened to be parts of his life that were better off private. But it wouldn’t kill him to hang out with the guy more every now and then. Well, given Eddie’s track record, it very well could. But it would be worth it… RIght?

“Listen, Ed… I know I’m a pain in the ass. It’s not — I don’t do things like this, y’know? I stay at home like the grumpy hermit crab that I am and that’s how I like it.” Apologies were never Alfie’s strong suit. It was rare that the words “I’m sorry” ever made it out of his mouth. “But I’m already pretty glad I came with you.” Once again, he was dancing the conversation dangerously close to heavy. Alfie mentally berated himself; he needed to keep things light. “But if we make it out alive, you do still owe me those Baby Ruths,” he teased, lightly nudging Eddie’s arm with his own.