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calliecat93 · 3 years

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When I was fifteen years old, I found out about Star Trek: The Original Series. Back then, Star Trek as I knew was only The Next Generation, and I was apathetic about that. I found out through simple curioaity, but I had nothing to better to do so I looked into it. It sounded kind of interesting, so I found the show on Hulu and decided to give it a shot. I quit midway through the third episode. I saw it as old, cheesy looking, and dumb. Why waste my time on something old? Over the years, the more I got involved in online fandom culture, the more I would see it pop up. The more I would ehar about how having PoC inr egular roles was revolutionary just because it showed that they existed. How the show enrained so many science fiction tropes and ideals into modern Americn media in the vein as Dotor Who has in Britian. Heck a review show I used to watch went over the comic adptations of the films, and came off as so passionate about the franchise that I remembered my previous stance. Remembered how I threw it aside as a relic of the past, despite me even thn seeing the value as I valued classical animaiton and children’s media very highly.

IDK what provoked it, but in January of this year, I decided to watch the entirety of Star Trek. Maybe it was quarentine rentine making me snap. Maybe it was me giving in at last to those urges that had been prodding at me for years. Regardless, I made the choice, and it only made sense to begin with the one that started it all. I am now 28 years old. I have grown far more patient and respectful with the things that came before my time. Media holds a great deal of value and whether I understood it or not, Star Trek was vital to popular media. I was ready to give it a second chance. I expected to go in with a greater appreciation, but otherwise not have many strong feelings abou it. I got through those three episodes again with my feelings better than before, but not too different. But I was determined to keep going. So for two months, I watched episode after episode and this weekend I ended it with the original films. Now here we all at the end of the journey. How do I feel?

I felt very regretful for throwing it aside the way that I did.

I greatly enjoyed TOS. Far more than I had ever expected. It is very much a product of the 60’s. There was a limited budget and it showed, though they made the most of it. There were many ridiculous plots, rampant sexism, and hammy acting that is utterly laughable. Some days I could go along with it, other days I just wanted them to get it over with. And yet, none of it kept me away. There were ideals revolutionary for the time like PoC standing equal to others, themes of all kinds such as anti-war and humanity, great science fiction concepts that may be standard today but don’t rob them of their enjoyability, and so much fun but also many moments that made you think. But most of ll, it had such lovely characters. For me to care about a show, I have to care about it’s chracters. I knew a few things via pop culture, butt hat’s not the same as understanding them as a viewer and media can frequently exaggerate the reality. And as I found out, there was far more to them than what mdia lead me to believe.

Kirk I only ever knew as a brave captain who made out with a lot of women. While that’s true, I can’t call him a reckless womanizing asshole. He was brave, optimistic, diplomatic, and charming. He could be light-herted, but also very much a devoted Starfleet Captain whose duty is his entire being. I was shocked at how much I grew to care about him. Seeing his triumphs, his failings, his strengths and flaws, even on an off day I cared about him. Even when William Shatner hammed it up too much, I enjoyed seeing him. Spock was who I knew the most about consideirng how popular he was and I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I also grew to love him. His logic, his struggle with his dual being as half Vulcan and half Human, his loyalty to Kirk and his dedicaiton to his duty. I could see why he meant so much to people, esecially witht he level of depth and work that Leonard Nimoy put into the character. There’s s amny little things that you begint o notce and it makes Spock feel all the more real. But by far the biggest appeciaiton I grew was for McCoy. He was the character I knew the least about aside form him being a doctor and remembering the first episode. But GOD I love his character so much. His crankiness, snarkiness, and his arguments with Spock were entertaining but seieng how compassionate, devoted, and caring that he is especially when I watched The Empath ahead of time and saw his sacrifice... damn. Not to mention DeForest Kelley’s perormance with him imo being the best peformer aside from Nimoy. He gave it hus all even during the dumbest episodes and that always earns my respect. I didn’t think I’d care about Bones that much, knowing him as that guy who’s more important than the rest but not even close to as much as Kirk and Spock, and he walked away as my absolute favorite character who I will continue to give the love and appreciate that he deserves.

The others were great too. Scotty was funny, great at his job, and the amount fo times he saved thm all via some miracle is to be admired. Sulu was significant for being an Asian man as a regular and in a high position, and I just loved having his prescence. Uhura being a Black woman treated as an equal by her white male peers and being a dedicated, sassy communicaitons officer as well as her lovely musical talents made her a delight. Chekov when he came along added a nice, youthful prescence without him getitg annoying and having a Russian as a hero at that time was also a big deal. While the show struggled BIG TIME with gender and feminism, it was major at the time for presenting PoC and those of other nationalities as equal to others, and the cast clearly did their best to make them feel like actual people. I respect that a great deal. We all should sot hat we can keep improving from there.

I didn’t expect to care. I expected to get the show over with and have something to occupy my time. And yet, I do care. I care about these characters. I care about the shenanigains that they get involed in. I worry when they get into distress even though I know that they’ll be fine. There were plenty of things I knew in advance like Spcok’s deaht in the movies... and I cried anyways. I knew that nothing long-term bad would happen in the series, yet I feared for the cast and their situaton anyways. I grew invested in them. In their relaitonships. The Kirk-Spock-McCoy dynamic was by far my favorite thing and it kept me wanting to keepw atching. Not to occupy my time, but because I genuienly wanted to see what they got into and how they got out of it. To see Kirk and Spock’s mutual respect and trust in each other. To see Spock and McCoy argue over logic and emotion and be wiling to defend the other, to see Kirk and Bones joke and be at ease with each other as the close longitme firends that the are, and just having the three together... it was such a perfect dynamic. Hell I didn’t expect to ship anything aside form maybe Spirk due to knowing it’s significance to fandom, slash,a nd the LGBT+ community. And I came away shipping all three dynamics...a nd veering on all three together, but IDK if I’m quite there yet. But whether shippy or platonic, their relaitonship together is perfect and I loved it.

Now, the journey is over. Oh I plan to go back and do it all over again. I plan to pay even more atteniton. I plan on giving each episode as good of an analysis as I can give. I plan to try and seek out things like the novels and the comics so that I can have more itme with them. I plan to watch the reboot films to see what happes in a different universe. I plan to watch TNG and hope that I enjoy those charactrs that I ignored my entire life just as much as I did these. But for now, it’s over. It is a ride that I am thankful to have taken. I came in indifferen, and am leaving a fan looking forward to whatever else awaits. Thank you Star Trek TOS for this amazing two month journey. Thank you tot he cast and crew who put so much into it despite everything working against them. Thank you to the fans who watched it and kept it alive for all of these decades. And to those who read tot his point and all of my watchthrogh posts, thank you for sitcking with me. It was, without doubt, an experience that I’m never going to forget.

#star trek #tos #st watchthrough #god i still cant believe its over...#but at least now i ge tto do it all over again #star trek tos

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popculturebuffet · 4 years

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Star Vs: Lava Lake Beach or Happy Birthday, Marco Diaz

Tomtrospective is back baby! It’s been almost two months, which is better than last time but still not great. As you can probably tell if you check this space i’ve been busy with comissions (5 dollars an episode if you were curious and had another star vs episode you wanted me to check out or any animated series really), which now includes a sizeable project, regular coverage of ducktales every monday, loud house whenever it comes around becuase nick’s scheduling is a nightmare, and because I apparently didn’t have enough going on The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck. Part 2 coming before the end of the month hopefully. So this project, which sadly dosen’t get a lot of eyeballs on it, kinda just slid on back. Thankfully though I have a second before I get back to my rather sizeable and mostly self inflicted to do list, so with that in mind, let’s take a trip to the beach in the dead of winter. This is Lava Lake Beach.

PREVIOUSLY ON STAR VS:

Yeah I skipped over Lint Catcher.. which is ironic given I just decided to cover the meteora and eclipsa centric episodes post monster bash.. but I have good reason for that. And it’s not just “This is my blog and unless i’m getting paid for it I can do what I want”. That’s a valid reason but it’s not THE reason. No it’s because Tom has a sizeable roll in the finale episodes for season 3, and thus the climax to Season 3′s arc overall, and honestly Divide and Conquer are just TOO good to simply skip over Star’s parts of them. I choose to switch to covering full episodes for this retrospective which means i’m doing it right. It means more work for me, but frankly this stuff’s too good to not to cover properly. So i’ll be mixing the meteora arc in with tom, like a finely blended cocktail, after this review and the next one.. which aired after monster party but takes place before so i’m doing it in time for christmas.

And I WILL be covering the two episodes I skipped over eventually, I just feel the first goes into another possible arc down the line, and the other is just really terrible. Not the worst episode of the series, that would be Marco Jr, but a close second or third for sure. But I will have to summarize them to get to this point so: When last we left off Tom and Star were getting close again, but you might of noticed someone was conspciously absent. Marco went back to earth after his two weeks on Mewni, and as to what he was up to we found out LITERALLY the episode after “Demonicism”: Sophmore Slump. Marco basically spent the rest of his summer not shutting up about Mewni like an obnoxious jackass. Yeah Sophmore Slumb begins the character’s downward spiral and basically coming off like two diffrent characters: He’ll either be.. exactly what he was in the first two seasons, an awkard but well meaning voice of reason or a needy jackass pining after someone elses girlfriend and not caring about anyone else but himself and star. There.. there isn’t an inbetween. So yeah it’s just 11 minutes of Marco being insufferable, and only snapping out of it in realizing he’s neglected his girlfriend Jackie. We do get a GENUINELy great scene when she breaks up with him, realizing that while Marco’s willing to try for her.. his heart’s just not in it and his head’s.. with someone else. He’s not even malicious about it: While he wore his cape, he had a cape, under his clothes he genuinely tried to make things work and go out with her. Conciously he genuinely loves her, subconciously he has feeling sfor someone else and it’s showring. While this isn’t hte best episode it’s not a TERRIBLE one on the grounds that this one end sequence makes it work. Marco then decides to go to mewni and become a knight, and everyone sees him off in a good moment. It’s an annoying episode, but not a bad one the more I think about it. Lint Catcher is. Basically everyone’s a jackass but Tom and Eclipsa, which really sums up the last few seasons nicely. Not basically Marco dind’t you know, call star to vet any of this, and just expects to be welcomed back. Star, rather than you know admit her feelings for marco while she’s now dating tom, more on that in a moment, tries to shove him off on whoever. And it turns out River wasn’t serious with his offer of knighthood that marco came to take him up on, despite sounding serious and just gave marco a meat blanket because again, everyone’s a jackass.. except maybe moon who tries to make it work. It’s just an aggrivating 11 minutes and unlike the above none of it’s intentoinal. But how does this relate to tom? and wait star’s dating tom? Well Tom shows up early on as Star is singing a burrito song, only for him to burst out of the bathroom and then warmly greet Marco before the guards show up. Star also later admits to Marco yup she and Tom are dating since last episode. Which i’m fine with: we don’t need to see everything and it was pretty obvious that’s where it was headed. At the time I was aggrivated because “another blockadef or starco reallY” but i’ve warmed up with time. So yeah I really didn’t need to bang my head into the door for 11 minutes and whatever hours it took to write this to tell you tom and marco have upgraded from kinda friends to best bros who want to make out with each other and Star and Tom are dating. I will probably cover both episodes eventually, but for now, I have enough to cover especially with my realizing I needded to cover the eclipsa and meteora stuff, without getting a head injury from stupdiity. As for Marco’s knight status, he can’t start there, and Star eventualy realized that awkard sexual tension or not, he’s her best friend and made him her squire. So Marco’s now on mewni, Tom and star are together.

Let’s get at er. We open with tom summoning the flames of the dammned.. FOR MARSHMELLLOWWWWSSS. Star, Tom, Marco and Kelly are at the titular Lava Lake Beach roasting marshmellows and getting ready for the annual soulrise. Star likes the beach because it’s so spooky with Marco rightly pointing out.. insn’t that the underworld’s thing? Tom just casually shrugs it off as “Yeah i’ts pretty metal”. Which is both accurate and is part of why we’re here. This is our first, and really only, good look at the underworld. With Blood Moon Ball we just saw a bubble of it and it was entirely controlled by tom, if helping explain his control issues as he probably spent his whole life getting everything and never realizing being a possesive creep isn’t ag ood thing and people aren’t things you can own, but well.. people with their own wants and wills. When everyone around you does what you want, including your sweet well meaning parents, why would you understand someone saying no? And his parents aren’t bad people, they clearly have boundries, they just spoiled him a bit much. We’re not in Doofus Drake terriotiry where Tom’s a terrifying sociopath, he just had some very bad behaviors and when called on them by Marco, genuinely changed for the better and has been working on that since. But this episode gives us a good reason of why the other toxic part of tom, his rage, was never reigned in. Here.. it’s just normal. One scene illustrates this well: A couple casually if rudely challenges marco to a fight when he just wants to find kelly, more on that in a minute. But when he walks away, they just say “he seemed nice. And not EVERYONE is like that.. but most of the demons seen this ep are agressive, competitive and combtiive but not without reason.

We get a great example of this after Smores, where Marco’s fell off, tom and star are cute, and kelly licked all of hers. And after Marco realizes Tom’s outfit is just one of his hoodies but customized.. which for tom means ripping off the sleeves because that’s how he rolls and offering to do the same for marco. Also Star is in an adorable sailor outfit. what i’m saying is I like their outfits this episode and Marco has a lot of copies of that hoodie so in terms of Star’s invasions of his privacy, this is low on the list.

Back on point, a couple challenges the group over their spot and mocks star for not having a third eye.... but the resolution is beach volleball, witht he scoring demon from “Mr Candle Cares’ making an apperance. This shows Underworld culture: their volatile, they can get overly agressive.. but their polite outside of it. It’s why Tom’s anger wasn’t really adressed: Here everyone’ds polite the rest of the time, why does it matter? But it idd because even by these standards his anger was a problem and one he’s .. genuinely dealing with. While he gets devensive of his girlfriend, notice how he jsut gets regular angry and not.. murdery angry. We see his anger wasn’t normal even by underworld standards.. but he’s genuinely trying and has changed almost complelely from the last time we visted this realm.

This is also.. about what we get for tom this episode. Yeah while this is part of the tomtrospective for the above, and for other reasons that we’ll get to, this is a Marco episode. And a Kelly episode, so Kelly, now the food to fill the void inside has run out, I can relate, is suddenly depressed and just.. walks off mid game. And given Star and Tom aren’t the most empathetic people, they really fail to notice with Tom only noticing how it effects him. Tom has grown.. but as we’ll see after “stump Day” with his next two episodes after that, he still has room to grow. But it is nice we get signs of that episodes before it happens. Excellent work.

So yeah I guess for those who forgot, and if so how dare, or those who never got this far int he series who Kelly is. Kelly was introduced in season 2 as a friend of star and ponyheads who, at the end of her episode, after not talking was revealed to not be a giant bush, but a bispeceled teenager who just has a lot of hammerspace when her hair is down, as her hair is massive and whose species has a symbiotic relation ship with their significant others, as her boyfriend tad was in her hair merged with her the whole time. They breifly showed up again in another episode but otherwise haven’t been all that fleshed out till this episode.

And what brings it about.. is their breakup. And they have before only to get back together but this time it’s for real, as Marco finds out when comforting her. He genuinely offers her to talk, but we’re interuppted by her good pal JORBY!. I freaking love Jorby and every second of his screentime here is magic. Sadly he’s only used like.. twice after this. He’s a giant talking wolf guy from Kelly’s dimension, only revealed by the finale, who thinks Marco is her new fighting partner and claims to have killed their mutual aquantince greg. Kelly just responds with an amazingly annoyed and sarcastic “You didn’t kill greg” which he didn’t, and when Marco tries to explain she’s falling apart, Jorby responds with “WE ALL ARE ALL THE TIME, EXESNTIAL WARCRY!”... the amount of great minor characters this series wasted I swear.

But Kelly can’t deal with this and runs off and Jorby.. genuinely apologizes. He didn’t realize his friend was that banged up emotionally, and only dosen’t help because his goose girlfriend needs him. Marco is fine with this though and goes to offer his help after a breif search and two Skelly’s who fall in love over having the same name. Awww.

Kelly and Marco finally talk and Kelly sobs into his arms in a genuinely moving bit, admitting after being with Tad so long she dosen’t know who she is anymore. It’s REALLY great stuff, and really helps us feel for a character we honestly barely knew: Sure we barely saw their relationship.. but it was good... and when a relationship ends that wound dosen’t close easily> Trust me.. I know.

Though the other issue is that Tad.. hasn’t moved out of her head. Literally, he’s still in there and won’t take a hint it’s really really over and he needs to move on. So Marco, being a gentleman.. at least for this episode, agrees to help. IT’s why I like marco when he’s acutally written well: he can be awkward and sometimes a bit too full of himself when it comes to knowing stuff, but he’s a good kid who just wants to help people and I genuinely missed that version most of this season. So marco climbs in and finds Tad munching on vega pizza and refusing to leave, clearly subscribing to the duck method of swallowing your sadness.

Marco tells him he needs to leave, and while Tad is in denial.. Marco gets it to sink in.. that putting himself around someone unavaliable is just going to keep hurting him agains and again and not help him move on. Tad.. .ends up agreeing.. and it’s then the episode has it’s best scene.... Tad says “marco is the expert on that”. Marco of course denies this.. until Tad eventually makes him see the truth: he’s hanging around star the same way tad’s clung to kelly and will sadly continue too as while he agrees to move out.. it takes a bit for it to stick as we’ll see next time. Tad gets him to think about it: He has dimensional sciessors. Anywhere in time and space.. and where doe she want to start? With his unavaliable crush, following her to what he thought would be a couples event with her boyfriend. I mean he didn’t KNOW Tad and Kelly were broken up, so far all he knew he was the fifth wheel. No one would willingly do that for no reason. He’s so obessed with her, he wants to be around her even though it’s never going to happen.. i’ve been there WAY too many times to call and had to eventually learn to let got for their sake and mine. You can still be around them, you just have to let go of romance for everyone’s sake and move on. And Marco hasn’t because he didn’t even realize it. It’s why I tolerate “Sophmore Slump” now.. because with this episode it goes from bad writing to his subconcious scremaing at him to go be with star, and him not listening because conciously he still wants his current girlfriend.. and really he loves both, he just didn’t deal with that or move past either, so he lost both.

Marco.. has a panic attack over it justifably and breaks down gradually, seeing all the happy couples and finally star and tom, sinking in that .. Tad was right. He’s in love with Star.. and it hurts. It hurts a LOTTTTTT. And he has NO idea how to deal with it. And as we’ll see how he tries to.. is pretty damn bad. But that’s for other episodes. Let’s get to the climax of this one.

Kelly finds Marco, like her earlier depressed and lost, and upon realizing this, and thanking him as Tad agreed to finally move out, says “kelly’s driving” and drags him. It’s in these last moments we get to see more of kelly’s personality: we’ve seen her be ssarcastic but now we get to see her be a bit off kilter and adorable, which is her standard mode and what makes me like the character so much and wish she got treated better. But we’ll get to that later in the retrospective as it happens to perfectly zig zag into Tom’s life. Point is we see more of her and find out why she came to see the Soulrise as she and Marco prepare to watch: she and tad used to see it every year.. and even if their broken up.. she dosen’t want that taken away from her. Even if their relationsihp is over.. pieces of it can still be hers to treasure and keep from now on. This can still be hers... and in this case Marcos as marco puts his jacket over her, and Kelly cuddles him. Awwww. If you were wondering, yup I do ship Markelly and Yup how it ends is really bad and we’ll get to it and there will be blood. But for now their just two lonely souls sharing a moment, with Kelly rebuffing getting Tom and Star “They don’t need this’ which is accurate and they have each other and some alone time. Their fine. Plus they you know, didn’t notice either of them are missing so ...

Thank you Jake. Rest in Peace my good friend who shares a name. So we get a nice romantic moment as they watch a bunch of eldtirch skeletial angels with wings rise from the depths of the black and white, and it’s also marco’s birthday! “Happy Birthday Marco Diaz”. And with that we’re out.

Final Thoughts: This is one of my faviorite Star Vs episodes, even with later bullshit, and for good reason. It frames Marco’s previous actions in a better light, has some REALLy stellar acting from Adam McArthur, and is in general just a really soulful ep that really touches on some good stuff and fleshes out Kelly from a background character to a fan faviorite and sets up a new romance for Marco that I genuinely love. IT’s one of the series best moments even if later episodes would tarnish it slightly..but on it’s own.. it’s fantstic. Next time on tom:It’s the...

Christmas Special! Until then there’s always another rainbow and happy thanksgiving!

#star vs the forces of evil #star vs #tomstar #markelly #marco diaz #tom lucitor #kelly #star butterfly #lava lake beach

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moonaisle · 4 years

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hi kath!!! congrats on 1.5k wow!! you deserve every single one of them + thousands more love! can i have ☁︎ & *? (ill send the creations & question in a pm since its easier) so i started following you 2 years ago for your gorgeous sw content. you reblogged, and posted the most gorgeous graphics and i was immediately drawn to it! i also really loved the aesthetic of your blog, everything matched and looked so nice!!

Hi, Tippy ♡ Thank you for joining my celebration, I’ll gladly answer both of these, I love your creations so I’m expecting some fun time analyzing them. JOIN MY CELEBRATION

☁︎Reviewing/commenting on creations of your choiceTHIS GIFSET -Aw, gifsets always amaze me simply because differently than other kinds of creations they require a lot of attention ( ooking for good scenes, coloring, setting everything in place etc.) I do earnestly like this exact one, especially because it’s not completely bw and has that bluesih hue. I love the combination of dark and bright scenes and especially this exact gif, I’m simply in love with “object in background” gifs. I personally like a little slower gifs that that but it’s not too disturbing. Overall I’ll give it ★★★★/★ nevertheless. (4.5 stars)THIS GRAPHIC - AW YES! I don’t even need to look at it as I’m commenting simply because I remember it so well from the first time I saw it! I truly like it, especially because of the dirty rose color. You chose appealing textures for the background and I especially like the brush one for the bottom one. As for my favourite detail it would be something seemingly silly but the text bacgkround in the second graphic (pink kind of border or whatever) really gives me that aesthetic vibe. I’ll rate it a strong ★★★★★.THIS GRAPHIC -Aw, to be completely honest, this is one of my favourites. I haven’t seen the show itself so it’s hard to say if it’s character accurate but in terms of PS skills it’s an absolute masterpiece. My secret pleasure is this kind of graphics. They are so misc and aesthetic and just- simple at the same time, great job there. Also the font is honestly pretty, I can’t tell which one it is but it is often used in graphics and it gives me that look of completeness. A good choice for sure. I personally would have played around with this one but that’s just my inability to enjoy color hah. I do love this one A LOT. The fact that you made more than two and had inspo to make evn 6 and also A GIF is an absolute miracle uwu. LOVE IT! A big big ★★★★★.

*Answering an and all editing questions/consulting personally Q: How to erase background when making screencap graphics and add textures instead? A: First of all, let’s begin with what’s best for removing background and having only the characters visible. If you are lucky, by googling a characters name +the word png you’ll find some pretty pictures and will be able to use it for your graphics. And if you need a specific scene to cut, I recomment using the quick selection tool. It’s easy to use, simply select the object you wish, and if you want to deselect something click this and work around it the same way. When everything is selected, before cutting it out I recomment clicking here and playing around with the smoothness and edges when setting the background opacity to 0. It will give you a preview of what everything will look like. Then right click on the object and “layer via copy”. That’s it, delete the background layer and enjoy your png!Now, set the background color to whatever you wish it to be. Have your psd on top. Simply paste/add manually the texture/pattern you need and then play around witht the blending modes. Which one the texture requires to look a certain way can depend on what it is. For example a texture like this will likely look good with darker color, multiply, darken as it empahises the dark spots of the image. The opposite with the ones that have light patterns then use lighten, screen, soft light etc. It’s a game, play around, there is no rule! And that’s it, feel free to ask more if it’s still unclear ♡

#ask #kath celebrates #tippy tag #kathhelps

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bl6ckr0s3 · 3 years

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Fatigue

I been so tired all week. Even though I haven't been working as hard as I normally did before physically, I'm just finding myself passing out right after work when I get home. It's harder to stay awake behind the wheel when I have the baby since I don't want to be smoking around him. I smoke outside of my car now when I can and other times while I'm at work, I go outside to the back of the docks by the maintenance building to smoke. I'm not sure if it's the stress of Ricky that's been draining my energy. Normally, the weather doesn't drain me. Having the baby only 2 days out of the weekday does save me a lot of losing sleep. Early in the morning, the baby woke me up crying 2-3x because he was hungry and I was so damn tired, I was afraid of passing out on the baby when he was still awake. Thankfully, my son falls asleep about 5am and slept for the remainder of the morning. Wendy drove back home up north after I left to work last Monday. I had so much fun playing Pokemon with her Sunday evening and all through Monday. It's nice to be able to enjoy gaming with somebody else for once. I been a gamer all my life and what kids don't love games? That's where Ricky seems to fall in short with the gaming. He either never got into it, or he's just very competitive & don't want to deal witht he frustration of being hooked on a game. What does it matter? I'm having fun and enjoying myself again rather than allowing somebody else to try to change me for who I am or telling me what I should do for Lim. On the Talking Parents chat program, Ricky is still trying to have control over me by trying to give me instructions on how often to feed the baby solid food, the time schedules & all that bullshit. Wendy showed Paul his messages and he said I don't need to follow his instructions for anything. I have the right to raise my child my way. It's not like I dunno how to feed the baby, but I go by how the baby is comfortable with the amount of intake of food he consumes. I notice Ricky is the one messaging me a lot on the chat just as if he's texting me normally. Wendy is the one who checks and responds to the messages for me because she knows I get anxiety when he contacts me. Anything that has to do with dealing with Ricky, I get anxiety now because I dunno what he plans to do next to try to get me in trouble or make me look bad. I completely don't have no trust for him. He's basically just a threat to me.

Wendy has to remind me not to post anything that relates to him or even speak of him because I wouldn't want him to be able to use anything against me. It's not like he has much on me that would be effective, but still have to play it safe until the court bullshit is done. Everyone thinks I'm raising him just fine. I don't need anybody watching over my shoulder every minute and complaining about what I'm doing wrong or what I should do differently. Ricky is the one with OCD. Everything he's accused me of such as having anger issues, being the insecure one, being the one cheating, no everything he's accusing and saying about me, it's all him doing. He can go fuck himself. He doesn't own my life. This was the one thing he over estimated about me. He tried to control me, but got pissed that he can't. He got pissed when I decided to stop tolerating his bullshit. He got pissed when I called him the 'abuser'. The idiot has no logic because any evidence presented to him doesn't matter that it proves he's guilty. In his mind, he's never guilty of anything.

There's a co worker name Steven, an older black guy that just walks around the work place trying to talk to younger chicks. He whines & complains about stupid shit and a lot of people don't like him. I remember when he would start yelling about not being at his assignment by my old supervisor Archie, and this is during the safety meetings. Everytime he opened his mouth, I just wanted to say shut the fuck up to him. When you argue with the guy, he doesn't want to shut up, he just keeps running his mouth & continues to yell. Well, for the first time last night, I had to deal with him trying to start a fight with me over printing label tags. I was busy working on sorting the insects inside APPS1 machine, & in that area theres 2 printers. A printer to print regular labels and one to print small tags for the sack of mails. I was busy printing tags for David, the Vietnamese guy working on the 300 rack. I figure since I'm there working, I may as well try to get that done while I was sorting. I remember hearing yelling out in the background, I turned around and didn't see anybody so I went back to working. Out of nowhere, then I hear yelling again and Steve walks up near my work area and starts asking me about how long I'm gonna be printing the tags and that the printer is jammed. Basically, the man was like rushing me to hurry up so that he can print. Annoyed, I went to reload the printer with new paper tags so that I can continue printing. 2nd time Steve walks up to me yelling at me again and asking why I'm printing more tags, I yelled back at him and told him not to talk to me like that. I told him to ask nicely, but he continues to try to talk over me and yell at me and shit. I told him I didn't hear him ask me how long i'm gonna take with all his yelling, then I just basically told him if he's gonna whine and complain, i'll stop printing so that his ass can print his damn tags, and I called him a big baby. He called me crazy and he just walked away. I stopped printing so his stupid ass can print and stop bitching, but the stupid mother fucker just left lol! I wasn't gonna tolerate anybody's bullshit at work because of what I had been going through with Ricky. I kept Steve's photo that I took 2 years ago because he's one of the people I don't like at work. So I decided to message my friend at work Shiela who's actually friends with him. I told her she needs to tell her friend Steve that if he doesn't get his act together and start treating people nicely, I'm gonna make sure I will curse him so bad that his health will deteriate early and he will be forced to retire early. I can make him suffer if I really want to, I just left him alone because he seem to have kept his mouth shut for quite a long while. No, he had to open his mouth. Somebody has to teach him a lesson and how him you can't just be doing whatever the hell you want and get away with it.

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taeslut · 7 years

Text

stay with me in 2017

isnt that cute my title kind of rhymes but hello it is me again and this is more or less my (unofficial) 2nd appreciation post bc its a new year and i thought why not also pls ignore my lack of banner i decided to do this on a whim and i honestly cant wait for my photoshop to start up so (and this is in no order at all):

@hwangsae: my dude no need to worry about ur hermitting we understand and we are a ok just as long as you dont completely forget about us. thank you for helping 2016 be less shitty than it was and i treasure our shits n giggles in form time and english. youre always a riot to be with and its literally never boring with you and thanks for always making cheesecake with me; lets hope there are many more cheesecakes in the future (maybe even one where we use an actual cake tin), im sorry for encouraging a certain someone to talk to you to sort his shit out but no worries if he does anything else imma kick his skinny ass for u. i adore your art (bUT IM STILL RGHWJKDF U DIDNT LET ME KNOW I WAS ONLY THE 89TH AND 90TH NOTE) and i will continue to support you in your art and also whatever you decide to do in the future but i do really hope you join me in classics next year. i cant believe how lucky i am that i met you and we’ve maintained our friendship to this point and its gonnA BE SO FRICKIN GREAT WHEN WE GO TO BALL THIS YEAR IM SO HYPED and im so glad we can share moments like that together. i hope youre not too gutted about your math score bc u can always resit and at least you didnt fail which is always good. i have literally so many things i could say about u n our friendship like ur dispatch level photos of me and youre tendency to eat messily especially sushi but i have other ppl to write about too so i will keep this short and let u kno i appreciate u and love u very very much. youre my best friend and here’s to another (hopefully) great fucking year.

@gooseapartment: even tho u have dubbed me with less than ideal nicknames i am nevertheless grateful for your friendship (s/n: i typed out grateful as greatful at first and i stared at it like this isnt right and i had to stare at it for 5 minutes before i understood). even tho i FUCKING HATED AS MATHS ARUHRGJWUGHI you made it more bearable and easier to understand with your chinese lessons. im sososo happy you have gotten into kpop this year as i have yet another friend i can yell with. even though your jokes are lame and i never laugh at your puns, i still appreciate you so so much and idk how id survive in chem without you next to me (especially considering the people we sit with aside from sophia). our conversations are diverse and never really boring and i love hearing about your sunflowers and other plants and your art and drawings and plans for a yt channel and your art blog that u havent posted on and your different jisoos (how is that going btw). i honestly wouldnt have survived in china without you and thank you so much for keeping in contact with me n using wechat bc china hates google n fb. you are such an incredibly strong and inspiring person and i hope you have the best time on camp (even tho u have less than ideal ppl to do it with LOL). i really really hope you come to ball this year because it wouldnt be the same without :((( thanks for being a part of my life for the past 3 years and lets make it a great 4th

@yixmg: its amazing how we have become so close in such a short amount of time and i am so grateful to have met you and gotten the chance to talk to you and realise that no u r quite different from what i thought but in a good way and thank you for putting up with me for basically the whole year last year with me n serena constantly coming over and thank you for listening to me n my problems n my bitching abt certain people. youre hilarious and one of my favourite people to hang around and i frickin love your vines so much i am sad for you that vine closed down :(((( i hope you dont stop making vines even tho u said u might or take up something like filmography or smth idk but you are so talented and i am jealous. its sad we wont be in the same classics class but i wish you luck with your subjects next year (as is a bitch). ur constant love and support for yixing is so cute and admirable (especially bc i am a slut who changes ults every other day) and i love how rapline is rapline and also (current) exom. it makes me happy how whenever we hang out it always involves food and i hope we can go to sura again and study @ the library and hopefully find a spot this time. i am in a constant state of jealousy at the amount of boys u get dang i wish i couldve walked under cherry blossoms w jshaw :((( i love how hardworking you are and im sososo lucky that i got to be one of your friends. i also used ur pen u gave me for math mocks in my eoy exams and ya girl got an a in english so i also have that to thank you for. lets hope we have many more food outings this year along w korean n chinese movies. thanks for being a part of my life and for making 2016 less shitty for me bay-hope :))))

@pixelatedphysiognomy: hoe thanks for all the hoe posts this past year and extra thanks for the dog posts they are one of the few constants in my sad life and i appreciate them very much. i love how i can tell u abt things that made me angry and you will also get angry. i forgot how the whole hoe things started but i am glad it happened because i dont think we really had the awkward first stages of friendship (but correct me if im wrong lol ) i enjoy talking to u about cartoons and the conversations where we exchange “hoe” for days is something i hold dear to my heart. even tho juniors are annoying u are one of the few (ie 3) that i wouldnt mind being friends with. maybe this year ill join the chess club and become chess grandmaster n if i really wanted to get into the role i know a guy to get some of the good shit. thank you for being a part of my 2016 and i hope you stay for the future years for more than just my licence. also i hope 2017 is the year u come to terms with your hoeing.

@yueu: i didnt know which one to tag so i am tagging the newest one. you are one of the cutest people i know and i love ur out of nowhere questions without any context. thank you for being my awkward bean friend this year and i hope we can become closer in the coming year. i love your art so much and you are so talented and i hope you never stop making art and become famous so i can be Famous By Association. you, much like my only other y10 friends, have become such a big and important part of my life considering the short amount of time we’ve known each other and im so grateful to have a friend like you in my life. i hope we can have a great 2017 together and u get all the bread in the world

@seokjinhoney: i havent talked to u in aaaages omg and i know you are on hiatus but thank you so much for being a part of my life. it was so cool to meet someone like you online and its crazy to find out we’re in the same country and meeting you was so frickin cool. youre such a lovely person and i hope we have more time to talk this year

@hmuhansol: rylee u r one of the coolest people i have met this year. even tho its only been like a few months since we started talking we’re already p close considering we were strangers before. i think its so cool how interest you are in maths n science and i hope everything with your school goes well and u get your job witht he fancy name i have 0 capability of remembering bc i am Dumb As Heck. i hope my package arrives soon and i hope you like it even tho it isnt much but i hope we get closer in 2017 and we can laugh even more abt the memeability of svt

ofc there are more people and im sorry if ive forgotten anyone ive also gotten close to this year but these r my top picks n bffs also excuse me for being sappy n my bad grammar and spelling

i hope everyone has the best 2017 and also for trump to be impeached

#mine #appreciation post #badgalvivi #i appreciate u all so much

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