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janewatson · 3 years

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Helluva Boss Trailer Analysis!

Yes, I watch this. Yes, I like it. No, I won’t argue with you about it.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s just say that I was up when the trailer dropped, and was still up for a bit after. I’ve watched it so many times now, just absorbing everything, and now it’s time to break it down.

I’ve seen a few breakdowns already, but I noticed that there were a few things people hadn’t mentioned. So I’m tossing my hat in the ring, let’s see if we can figure out what Vivziepop has in store for us!

I’ll be breaking down by scene, as well as go over voiceovers and predictions real quick, so prepare for a read after the cut!

Ok, first, had to laugh at Millie’s Peppermint Vodka Molotov Cocktail. Creative, but what a waste of vodka :( The background is of a beach, but she’s not in beach clothes (let’s face it, a bikini would probably kill Moxxie)

Moxxie is shooting at something while he’s swinging from a rope in a deserted theater. Piano on the floor, and a sun pattern on the back wall

Blitzø (thanks for the copy/paste, Google) cleaving a blonde in half with a baseball bat. Damn, he stronk!

Diss Summar’, with the little doodles! So cute :3

Drunk/drugged/in shock Moxxie, poor Millie, and something big bursting out from the water behind. Tied to first scene?

Stolas’ ‘Special Access’ bit from the Sneak Peeks, talking about the Harvest Moon festival in Wrath

Moxxie and Blitzø in a green lit room, looks like a two-way mirror on the wall. Interrogation?

Correction to ‘Diss Season’ XD Hopefully that means we’ll get an episode before spring, but if they need more time, that’s understandable

Glammed up Stolas at some kind of burlesque, owned by Asmodeus ‘Ozzie’, Prince of Hell’s Lust circle. Wonder why he’s there...

CHERUBS!!! Also from the Sneak Peeks, we know that this is a commercial, and that the TV showing said commercial gets blown up a few seconds later

Angry Blitzø, probably yelling at Moxxie, being scared shitless by a hellhound behind him. I think this is a repo/impound/chop-shop guy who took IMP’s van, as in a later scene, they’re shown in a fence with other cars, especially because Blitzø yells ‘RUN’ at the end of the scene

Loona and Blitzø filming someone’s misery (again, probably Moxxie). They’re in western outfits, but they’re probably still in Hell

Tentacle wrapping around drugged Moxxie and taking him, too fast for Millie to react and stop it. Again, looks like it’s tied to the first and fifth scenes

Sassy Blitzø, probably talking to the repo-hellhound or punching-bag Moxxie. Same setting as scene 11

Blitzø running to the window of what looks like a recording studio, with ‘VM’ spray painted on the doors next to him. He looks distraught, but it’s not clear why

Recently choked-out Moxxie recovering, while being frame by a spiny-tailed Imp wearing what I assume is a serape, since it looks like they’re on the ranch Loona and Blitzø cheered a poor soul, scene 12

DEPRESSED BIRD DADDY. WHY ARE YOU SAD??? IS IT GONNA MAKE ME SAD??? OH NO I’M NOT READY unless its a flashback, but stilllll

Perturbed Blitzø holding his special flintlock in a western-themed room. Looks like he has his outfit from scene 12 on, probably the same episode, but whatever happened/is going to happen, it’s not good

Dressed-up Moxxie, who probably jumped bombed a performance, is upstaged by Robo Fizz and most likely a Robo Ozzie, given the designs on its’ head(s). He looked uneasy even before the Robos popped up, so something else was going on first.

Scaley eye blinking and getting MAD, attached to the tentacle that kidnapped Moxxie?

50% off add for Spring Break victims, complete with coffee stain, and Blitzø‘s horse doodles. I got a mental image of Moxxie scolding Blitzø for drawing at work, so he BS’d it into an ad.

Either Blitzø is a terrible driver, or they’re trying to speed away from someone. Repo-hound, maybe?

HUMAN!!! Almost definitely a human pop-star singing on a Coachella-esque stage! I tried to fill in her name, but could only get ideas of what some letters were. Her initials are most likely VM, from the recording studio scene, but the bottoms of some letters could be an E or L, K or R, so we’re left with V~(L/E)(K/R)OSI(K/R)A MA~~. It also looks like she’s wearing heels, so she may be the person who threw Blitzø in a later scene

Moxxie about to be trampled by what can only be a horse, given his outfit. Loona and Blitzø are probably filming XD

Shocked Stolas, standing up at table. Same outfit as the burlesque, but he doesn’t looked surprised enough that it’s the part where Moxxie is upstaged, more something emotionally jarring. Blitzø kissing someone else, maybe?

Blitzø pushing Moxxie out of the way and pinning him just outside a Hell portal in an alley, most likely Earth. Blitzø looks mad, and rightly so, as he’s looking a little beat up himself. Connected to the interrogation scene?

Happy Blitzø turns horrified outside some elevators with Moxxie. Judging by the water cooler in the back, I think he’s about to slam into the recording studio. Behind him, Moxxie gives no shits

Blitzø looking miffed, maybe at something Moxxie said. Looks like the same scene with the repo-hound, as the setting itself looks like an impound lot, with the IMP van smack-dab in the middle of it. I love that the license plate is IMP-666 though

Unhappy Blitzø (ok, let’s be honest, when IS he happy?)

Moxxie swinging Millie around in the deserted theater, passionately frenching each other

Blitzø getting pushed down by a horned, high-heeled... someone. Again, might be the pop star from earlier, but there’s horns... Maybe the pop star is human-passing, and has an alternate demonic form, like the Hazbin Hotel cast?

Western-clad Blitzø pulling his flintlock on someone, most likely before scene 18. Most definitely Hell, judging by the poster and previous scenes, but I’m digging the d��cor

Blitzø not getting a break at all during this trailer and being yeeted into a dumpster, which closes on him. Gonna take a stab and say it’s outside the burlesque Stolas and Moxxie were in, from the colors and posters of Lust Ring, Personal Companion Robo-Fizz, and Angel Dust.

The next scene is of him climbing out of a dumpster to fall into another pile of trash. He just doesn’t get a break, does he? It doesn’t look like the dumpster outside the burlesque, but it is similar to the alley with the hell portal, where Blitzø pinned Moxxie. Maybe not the same scene, but most likely same episode.

Editor being absolutely plastered, teasing all the fun stuff to come in 2021, since 2020 can go f*ck itself.

And that’s a really in-depth breakdown of all the scenes in the trailer! Now, for the voiceovers.

First, Loona’s asking if anyone ‘Can feel that?’. Interesting thing to ask, so we’ll have to wait and see what catastrophe happens

Millie gently yelling at Moxxie to ‘DON’T PANIC’

A calm voice announcing an elevator’s departure to the Lust circle of Hell, which is most likely where the burlesque and Robo scenes are. As to who is going, it’s either Stolas or the IMP crew, or maybe both?

Horny Stolas cooing ‘Oh, Blitzy!’, followed by Loona’s ‘SHUT THE F*CK UP’ from the Loo Loo Land episode. Finally, I have a high-res clip I can set as my ringtone!

Blitzø yelling ‘Dammit, Moxxie, this is all your fault!’, which may or may not be true since he scapegoats Moxxie, who replies ‘How is this my fault???’

Pop star asking, ‘Y’all ready to get f*cked up and make some b*tchin’ bad choices?’. It’s most likely her talking, since the her lips synch up with her scene, and it’s a new voice we haven’t heard before.

Moxxie’s cut off ‘M*THERF*CKER!!!’. So happy I get to hear Invader Zim go off, poor boy needs it XD

Blitzø being Blitzø and trying to tone down a big deal, stating again that he doesn’t pry into their personal lives, even though he obvious does (see Helluva Boss Pilot for more)

Robo Fizz’s line from Loo Loo Land asking if anybody loved Blitzø. I’m gonna be honest and say that line choked me up in Loo Loo Land, and so did Blitzø’s response, until ‘But I’m really good with guns now. DANCE, B*TCH!’

Moxxie ending with ‘That is deeply unsettling’, again from Loo Loo Land. Throwing shade on Helluva Boss haters, maybe? :3

All right, now, predictions!

Chaos in a theater, with focus maybe on Millie and Moxxie’s relationship, maybe an origin story? It won’t be the only one, with the tentacle beach monster and drugged Moxxie bits, so we can expect a lot of story and character development from the two of them.

Farm episode! Blitzø either drags them onto a farm, or there’s a client who invites them, but sh*t will happen.

Really excited to see what happens in the Lust ring, and for the return of Robo Fizz! Baby boy only got a few minutes of screen time, but is currently my favorite character.

Repo episode of rescuing the IMP van, probably resulting in overall team building and character development. I really want to see Loona tear a new one into that *sshole-looking hellhound, though.

Pop star episode! Really excited to meet this new character, I wonder what her name is and how close I was XD Either Blitzø and Moxxie break into her recording studio to meet her, or she’s a client, but we’ll see!

Trapped on Earth/Run in with Earth authorities episode? That interrogation room didn’t exactly look Hellish, and they obvious meet some kind of resistance while on Earth that looked like it was gonna get messy...

Stolas episode! Please please please be flashback and story, I loved Loo Loo Land but really want some more lore and development on his character and maybe relationship with Blitzø. Bird obviously needs to work through some things, and I really want to watch him grow, ever since I saw him struggle to tell Octavia why he was cheating. Him stuttering and ultimately being unable to find a reason why really hit home, and I’m glad it was something they included since in media, it’s always ‘Well, she’s really ugly’ or ‘I don’t love him anymore’. He still has feelings for his wife, but wanted to f*ck Blitzø too.

Even without the trailer, we do know that we’re getting episodes focusing on CHERUB and a Harvest Moon festival, but still. There’s so much content Vivzie and Co have been working hard to make, and I can’t wait to see what they have in store for us. Dark comedy aside, there’s so much story they can make just around these four characters, following their growth and happenings around Hell. It’s such a cool premise and one that hasn’t been washed and worn so many times, like cop or murder shows, and I can see this going on for quite a bit.

Well, here’s to an exciting 2021! Thank you for all your hard work, Vivizepop, keep it up!

#helluva boss #season 1 trailer #blitzø #moxxie #millie #loona #stolas #helluvaboss #vivziepop #hazbin hotel

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runolllo-fanboygirl · 3 years

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is mizuki still a queen when murata sexualises her to the bone?

Short answer: Yes, Mizuki is still a Queen in those cases. I will continue to tag her as #Queen, consider her an icon, and continue to like her even if I hate the couple of so called “sexualized Mizuki to the bone” drawings Murata made of her (which I never posted here in the first place). A couple of sexy pics don’t erase what a legitimately great character she is. It’s kind of rude to come rain on my parade with whatever point you wanted to make when I was so excited to see her again in today’s chapter and being completely innocent about it.

Long answer: (someone help me write a tl;dr please OTL)

I’m too tired, the whole “bla bla sexualization” thing is very complex, I don’t have the time or energy to answer properly... and I don’t like trap questions like this because there is no right answer and I feel put on the spot. Maybe that wasn’t your intention, so I’ll answer in good faith.

In the context of official OPM things, it’s my opinion that a few instances of her being sexualized don’t change the fact that she’s still very amazing, fun, hilarious, corageous and powerful. You’re allowed to dislike her, but it’s not fair to invalidate the rest of her character and her fans because you didn’t like the author making certain decisions here and there. We fans have a right to like characters even if later the author does things with them that we don’t agree with. Nothing is ever going to be perfect, but characters are just that, characters, and it’s up to the author’s intentions AND the point of view of the fans to give meaning to them.

We’re still allowed to love Mizuki and see her as an iconic character, in special fellow women, I feel. We’re starved for variety and representation and Mizuki is a super good hearted, strong gal. It’s not every day you get a 2m tall sportwoman character like her, in special in contrast to Gearsper who is instead a tiny guy with noodle arms. I’m very excited about all the different kinds of ladies that OPM has now, YES EVEN IF most of them have been put in a bikini at this point, which is kind of sad and ridiculous.

Now, of course, we’re not stupid. It’s not like you can’t tell when Murata is using literal p0rn as reference to draw, lmao. It’s not like we don’t know he’s h0rny as f*ck. Still, OPM is a seinen series and we should expect adult content. It’s also true that for being the kind of seinen it is (parodying shonen series and all) it’s quite the surprise that we get a fair amount of male eye candy as well, even though lately I don’t think it’s balanced with the ladies fanservice anymore (but it used to be).

Also, I’m a woman who likes other women, so what do you want me to tell you? I loved that cover of Mizuki taking her shirt of /// THIS ONE /// I’m a big fan of soft fanservice like that! Although, I personally prefer just a bit of eye candy occasionally... I DON’T want fanservice to be all over the place for no reason, in special of the ladies, because it just looks unprofessional and stupid when the point of this series is not to be some h0rny har3m anime. Sexy drawings can be very interesting and appealing from time to time but I don’t want Murata to use so much time on them instead of on other more interesting stuff, and it also creates bad vibes when a whole a s s chapter is about two guys bonding but the cover is another Fubuki with her Fub00bs out. Don’t think I don’t get disappointed (even angry) at this kind of bullshit. I do, friend. I would lie if I said I don’t love the Fub00bs... but we don’t need them all over the place all the time in special in chapters where she’s not even present otherwise.

On the same note, I actually hate the uncomfortably-close-to-p0rn kind of fanservice like that disgusting sequence where Mizuki squishes that watermelon head monster with her inner thighs (which, on the other hand, was HILARIOUS and empowering in its own way, except that I know Murata was not drawing those scenes with empowerment in mind, of course... but still, all the more power to fellow ladies who find that empowering, reclaim it from the h0rny boys!). But anyway, I can only consider Mizuki to have been “sexualized to the bone”, like you put it, that one time with the watermelon. Everything else has been very tame fanservice.

It really depends on what you think is “too much” for an adult series like this that doesn’t focus on romance or s3x. The only other instance in which I felt like it went too far, is when Psykos seemed to be starring some weird tentacle p0rn as Orochi tried to absorb her ;P and I personally dislike Monster Princess a lot because everything about her is just Murata being h0rny and there is literally nothing else about her character, her “personality” is being a representation of Murata’s kinks, but even then, many fans find her legitimately empowering too.

Lastly, I just want to quickly say that there is absolutely nothing wrong with sexy things in general, the problem is the context in which they are usually created and presented, and that’s when sexy goes into “sexualization turned objetification” territory, which is what can get really wrong. Otherwise, you can find someone sexy and still appreciate everything else about them, it’s just one more thing you like about them.

Anyway, it’s all a lot more complex than this, but that’s my answer for today. Now, if I may ask: are Flash, Sonic and Garou, who are sexualized through the whole series A LOT, not amazing anymore just because we get a lot of blatant fanservice of them? Have you ever thought about them in the same terms you are asking me about Mizuki?

#one punch man #opm #captain mizuki #blizzard of hell #psykos #fubuki #Anonymous #lunamaria on the phone

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shadowphoenixrider · 4 years

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Why N’Zoth should have been behind BFA’s War

Okay so I’ve been thinking this for a day or so now, and I’m gonna just dump my thoughts here.

In this essay, I’m gonna make the argument that I think N’Zoth should have been behind the war in BFA. It’s gonna be long as shit, FYI. Here we go.

It’s no secret that opinions on BFA’s story have been...mixed. Some think it’s a garbage fire, others think it’s okay but not stellar. Some bits of BFA’s story, such as Jaina’s arc I find very well done, whilst others are very...below average, must try harder.

I think the main problem is the overarching storyline running through the entire expansion. It feels very disjointed, like many self-contained narratives sort of strapped onto one another into what looks like a storyline, if you squint.

Contrast this with Legion’s story. What was the primary conceit of the expansion? The Legion’s back and we have to stop them. Great! A nice solid story maypole we can pivot events around. Everything the patches introduced tied back to this core story ideal:

Return to Karazhan: some freaky shit is going down in Medivh’s digs and we think the Legion is behind it. Stop them!

Tomb of Sargeras: Time to get to Tomb and stop the Legion from pouring in!

Argus: You know what, we need to stop the Legion Once And For All (maybe)! Time for a cataclysmic showdown on the Legion’s homeworld!

Even the Insurrection storyline held closely to the Legion storyline, since the demons had control of the city and a Titan MacGuffin we needed, so we had to help the Nightfallen boot them out.

Now, BFA has at first glance, a good premise. All-out war between the Alliance and Horde, whilst Azeroth bleeds underneath us. That seems pretty good, right? Yes, it is, but there is a problem; the status quo.

The trouble with wars, especially really big ones (like world wars), is that by their nature, they upset the status quo. The WoW status quo is both the Alliance and Horde is, in the lore’s eyes, on equal footing. Problem with this all out war is that someone’s gotta lose - but no faction can lose because that upsets the status quo.

Thus, the story has already lost its running shoes because it can’t change anything drastically at the end. There’s still got to be a Horde and an Alliance - now, Mists of Pandaria managed to end an Alliance/Horde war in a fairly convincing stalemate because of Garrosh. Since he was deposed and he was the instigator of a large portion of Bad Stuff, people could sort of understand Varian letting the Horde survive under the threat that they’d get their asses thoroughly beaten if they did anything bad again.

This did not work a second time. Why did it not work a second time?

That’ll be because Sylvanas burned down Teldrassil, which pretty much accounts to genocide. Now, Garrosh pretty much dropped Azeroth’s equivalent of a nuclear bomb on Theramore, and that was made a very big deal of, but Sylvanas decided to take a leaf from the Bombing of Dresden and add some fire to her war crime. And thus, a very large petard is hoisted around BFA’s neck.

The image of a burning Teldrassil is almost certainly a very shocking, very dramatic one, and I’m pretty sure that’s why Blizzard chose to do it. It’s certainly a very big, risky move in the terms of story that could have elevated it. The quest to try and save the citizens of Teldrassil as it burns is truly harrowing and excellent in how it underscores the hopelessness of the task.

The thing with the burning of Teldrassil is it has colossal consequences, and the story did not handle it with the gravitas it deserved. After that moment, you cannot bring the Alliance and Horde to a happy peace - the Horde has done an undeniably awful, inexcusable thing, and yet the Alliance will apparently look the other way and sign a peace treaty with them now Saurfang is dead and Sylvanas has run off to make Shadowlands happen.

So already we’re in trouble from War of the Thorns, which was not helped at all by Blizzard devs playing a ‘who burned the tree’ game only to reveal that it was always Sylvanas, she did it because she meant to do it. This did nothing but upset and annoy people (me included), which started everything off with a sour taste in our mouths.

Next stop is the attack on Undercity, which is good if not for the inexplicable stupidity of the Alliance not perhaps thinking that Sylvanas would use the Blight against them, after they just witnessed her burn Tedrassil down. And knowing she dumped Blight on Gilneas.

Despite these slip-ups, we’re keeping up this feeling of all-out war. The Horde gets word that Talanji and Zul are stuck in jail, let’s rescue them and get the Zandalari on our side to beat the shit out of the Alliance! The Alliance, not to be out done, decide to go get the Kul Tirans.

And that’s when the story fractures. The stories on Zandalar and Kul Tiras are kinda understandably divorced from the main war, but they’re so divorced as to be almost completely outside of it. The only signs of it outside the War Campaign are the Alliance sailors scrapping in Talanji’s Rebuke that you find in a non-essential side-quest, and the shoehorning of the Horde into the Stormsong questline, which then proceeds to break the latter questlines when the bloody quilboar seem to appear out of nowhere and become the main baddy (what?!).

It took the advent of 8.1 for Faction Assaults to start occurring and making us feel like all-out war, but it seemed a little too late. There was the attack on Dazar’alor that pushed the war narrative, but it was starting to get tangled up with the ‘Sylvanas is Bad Warchief, we must remove her. Or not...?’ storyline with Saurfang, which fell back onto ‘the Horde isn’t bad, it’s the Warchief who is!’ which 1, we’d already had in MoP, and it wasn’t a fun feeling that time either, and 2, it’s not really a good excuse after a genocide.

So Horde politics start, which are sort of interesting to Horde players, but not Alliance players, who only have Tyrande being understandably pissed at losing her home and people and going to wreak havoc to be content with. Well, if by ‘wreak havoc’ you mean ‘kill a val’kyr and somehow get beaten by Nathanos and then get shelved for orc drama later’. Salt was rubbed into this wound when a dev said that Tyrande had ‘got revenge for Teldrassil’ with this, which went down badly.

Now, there has been Old God stuff rumbling throughout the expansion up to this point, granted, but you can count on one hand the amount of times it was given a shit about. Only when Crucible of Storms comes out does N’Zoth do a proper ‘hey guys I’m a bad guy!’ thing, and he actually starts to slither into centre stage.

8.2 begins, when Azshara comes to kick our ass and free N’Zoth, and that’s when the tried and true ‘factions unite vs. the Big Bad’ trope comes out (as everyone and their mother predicted it would), and both factions decide that maybe they should focus against Azshara and her Old God master. But before N’Zoth beating, we need to boot out Sylvanas because she’s mean and burned a lot of innocent people.

8.2.5 arrives, everyone goes and makes angry faces at Sylvanas, Saurfang dies dramatically, Anduin and Jaina look pretty, and Sylvanas flies away angrily. Congrats guys, we did it! Now for some peace. Ignoring the fact Teldrassil is still ash, and Rastakhan is still dead (and the Zandalari are pissed about that), so it should be less ‘peace’ and more ‘polite ceasefire’.

And now it’s 8.3 and suddenly N’Zoth’s everywhere! And we’re going to kill him at the end of this patch and...that’s it. Next stop, Shadowlands. That big bad we’ve been hinting for a long, long time got a single patch to wave his tentacles and then he was very dead. Even worse, his big arrival was completely overshadowed by Shadowlands’ announcement. Ooof.

With all these things, BFA’s story feels like it set off without knowing where it was going to end up, except that maybe N’Zoth was involved and Sylvanas would ditch the Horde. So it bumbled around, making weird choices, and then wrapped up plotlines far too quickly. The war felt after Dazar’alor that it was about to escalate, what with Rastakhan’s death and Talanji’s ascent to Queen. Instead, it suddenly paused before deciding it was going to end so quickly I think it gave us whiplash, just so we could fight N’Zoth as an united front. So of.

As a result, we have plotholes still yawning open, very unsatisfying endings, as well a perpetual conflict between Alliance and Horde on every public forum imaginable - Alliance aggrieved that Blizzard has ignored them yet again in the story department, except when they wanted a shocking stunt, whilst the Horde is upset that they’ve been hit the ‘villain’ stick again, except this time it was a fucking bludgeon, and we’re getting very tired of this now please stop. This isn’t helped by all the foreshadowing of the faction lines either dissolving or loosening up during the coup against Sylvanas, and then Blizzard just going ‘yeah nah can’t do that, gotta preserve the status quo’.

So, how can we improve this by adding N’Zoth? Well, remember the core premise of Legion and stopping them? Repeat that with N’Zoth. It is simple, but we can give it its sweet twist - we’ve got to stop N’Zoth, because he’s not only trying to corrupt Azeroth. He’s also playing the Alliance and Horde against each other so they can’t stop him.

Immediately that makes N’Zoth the Big Bad, and also underscores the point of We Do Not Want Him To Get Out of His Cage, which makes the fact he does get out a big OH F*CK moment. Not that it isn’t already in current BFA, but can you imagine the gutclenching despair you’d feel as you’d done everything in your power to stop this from happening, and yet it’s happening anyway? Now you’d know what Khadgar felt like when the Tomb of Sargeras opened - and you’d know that you’ve got to do everything you can to put this right.

Let’s go back to the beginning, only this time we dial the Void stuff up. We begin the War of Thorns with the factions already tensed up re: Azerite, with preliminary scraps over it and what looked like the Alliance attempting a coup over some of the Forsaken (HEY BLIZZARD STOP PUTTING LORE LIKE THAT IN BOOKS AND NOT REFERRING TO IT INGAME KTHANKS). A tenuous peace, to be certain, which could only be made worse by Old God agitators, stirring up unrest in the factions.

As much as I would prefer the Horde not being the instigator in all the bad stuff, N’Zoth is the only variable I changed in this equation, so with unrest and some intel that makes it look like the night elves are making a move either to cut off Azerite production, or funnel it through Teldrassil, the Horde strikes at Ashenvale and Darkshore, instigating the War of Thorns.

Things look to be going normally, but you as the Champion notice Old God stuff lurking about and ‘hey this looks like what was happening before the Cataclysm- Oh. Oh no!’. You try to bring evidence that this is a set-up to the people in charge, but it’s escalating out of control. Night elves are dug in so deeply that the Horde has to set fires in the forests to get them to move, which causes retaliation, which gets Saurfang involved who critically injures Malfurion, but before the final blow Tyrande punts him into next week and maybe at this point someone goes: ‘wait hold up what do you mean there’s not Azerite over here’.

We stumble over to Sylvanas to try and tell her ‘no wait we’re being played’, but she takes this as misinformation and or a bluff, and fires a couple of catapaults to show she ain’t fucking kidding at Teldrassil. A couple. Enough to cause a ‘I mean business fire’, but since Teldrassil is in the fucking sea and I would assume almost always damp around its lower regions (you’re allowed a snigger at that), it’s not going to set the entire thing ablaze.

Except it does, because of N’Zoth’s minions in the Horde (and Alliance, probably), who fan the sparks with wind and feed them with power. Alternatively, we could have naga rise from the depths to set some Azerite-infused fires too, just to foreshadow Azshara coming onto the scene later.

With Teldrassil engulfed, everyone is shocked, including Sylvanas, who really didn’t intend this to happen at all (and is pissed because there goes her bargaining chip). The Alliance of course declare all-out war on the Horde because how dare they, whilst the Horde is briefly paralyzed with shock.

Saurfang and the others yell ‘how could you?!’ at Sylvanas, who yells back ‘that wasn’t part of the plan!’ and also something along the lines of ‘why the fuck didn’t you tell me the intel was shifty before this happened?!’ before going: ‘well it’s happened now, so we best gear up and stomp the Alliance into the dirt or we’re all going to die’.

Meanwhile people are going: ‘yeah but what about the influences of darker things going on? maybe we should do something about this’ with the answers being: ‘shut the fuck up, they set fire to Teldrassil’/’shut the fuck up, do you really think the Alliance is going to stop after what just happened’?

So it’s a race against time to try and get the factions to turn against N’Zoth instead of ripping each other apart before horrible shit starts happening and we’re all royally in the shit.

Everything happens pretty much as is from there, except we get some explanation for the lack of gas masks being ‘oh no our totally legit sources told us the Blight hasn’t been stockpiled in large quantities, we’ll send infiltration teams to neutralise it’. Only to find out that this is not the case of course and N’Zoth cackles some more. Sylvanas and Saurfang have an argument leading to Sylvanas booting him out and Saurfang getting captured by the Alliance despite the orc wanting death.

Everything goes as is from there, with Zul kinda trying to get Talanji killed because N’Zoth, in a mirror of Ashvane/Jaina. Just this time, we’re pushing the Void angle hard. They’ve both got their hands (or tentacles, rather) deep into Kul Tiras (Azshara) and Zandalar (G’huun), so it only makes sense to amplify their nonsense.

Over time people higher up the chain pick up the fact that N’Zoth’s doing this on purpose, but bad shit keeps happening so the Alliance and Horde can’t put aside their differences because both sides are doing genuinely bad things to each other! Yes, including the Alliance! Sylvanas is doubling down because she wants to survive this, and the only way she knows how is to utterly destroy her opposition. When she sees parts of the Horde begin to lose faith, she gets pissed because this is not the fucking time and this is the only way to stop the Alliance damnit.

Similar stuff happens in the Alliance, with Tyrande understandably going on a rampage against the Horde with Genn in tow, whilst Anduin and the others try to pump the brakes as they see N’Zoth’s tentacles looming everywhere.

Everything reaches a hecking climax when Azshara shows up and one thing leads to another, and N’Zoth comes bursting out, prompting an ‘OH SHIT’ moment. I’m thinking during Nazjatar, the small Alliance/Horde forces there ally, and when they’re just about to do something useful, the bigger kids show up going: ‘what the fuck are you traitors doing?!’ and during the argument, Azshara steals the Heart of Azeroth and unlocks N’Zoth’s prison, which leads everyone to realize ‘bollocks, we were played’.

Anduin can bring most of his Alliance forces to a standstill, and begs Tyrande and Genn to help him vs. N’Zoth. Tyrande tells him where he can stick it, but Genn is persuaded, though he says he’s going after the Horde as soon as N’Zoth is downed.

The Horde does the same to Sylvanas, but she knows as soon as N’Zoth is down, the Alliance will have her head, and especially when she realizes Tyrande’s still out there, she stands her ground. When a good portion of her powerbase decide on the temporary ceasefire to go after N’Zoth, however, Sylvanas tells them to piss off, and ditches the Horde. Talanji does a Genn, knowing how bad the Old Gods are, but she’s still getting blood payment from Kul Tiras after this is done.

Thus, everyone finally turns their attention to the big bad, fully entrenched, and ready for this grand climax. after he’s been causing all this pain and suffering. The Alliance and Horde are splintered, each nursing legit grievances against the other, but standing together for a moment, as always.

Yes, it’s Cata and MoP dressed up in a different coat, but sometimes a simpler plot is easier. That and Cata was more the factions poking each other in the eyes a couple of times rather than all out war.

With N’Zoth as the instigator of the conflict in BFA, we get a big bad we must fight, and we understand more than he’s a legit threat - and that he knows how to weaken us, so he throws us in a battle against one another so he can win. Yet everything isn’t forgiven at the end - the status quo is sort of there, but the factions are more fractured than before. Crimes still need to be answered for, but doing so may cause more conflict and death.

Sylvanas is out there and pissed, and feels the only way she can survive is to subjugate everyone that could ever harm her and perhaps transcend death itself. This entirely speculation on my part, but a part of me thinks Sylvanas’ main driving force is ‘I’ve been through enough, not even death is a respite, I’m going to become so powerful no-one will control me - I will control fate myself if I must’, which is actually fairly tragic and does grant me sympathy for her (watch this not be her main motivator in canon tho).

Does this solve all of BFA’s problems? No, of course not. But I do think it would have improved the story, at least by managing to keep the story flowing in a more linear direction. You’ll notice that Saurfang has all but disappeared from the N’Zoth narrative, that’ll be because I wasn’t too sure what to do with him. I do like him as a character, but he was pushing the ‘only the Horde has story’ narrative, and I’m not too keen on that. He’d still be a main character pushing for fighting N’Zoth and dying in the end, but less of all the focus.

To those of you who got down here - congratulations and thank you! I went on a very, very long time. Hopefully I have written if not a persuasive argument, then at least an understandable one. This isn’t meant as a ‘Blizzard’s writing is terrible!’, because sometimes it isn’t, but as a ‘I think it would have been better if done this way’.

Thank you for reading, and I hope 2020 smiles upon us.

#world of warcraft #wow discourse #is it discourse? kinda I guess #spr rambles #long post #i just think they did n'zoth dirty is all #he deserved better #honestly a lot of characters in bfa deserved better #but what are we gonna do

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sleepyfan-blog · 5 years

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Fandom: Darkness!Drifter by @bl3ppsn3kk Driftverse by @onebizarrekai

Characters and pairing: Underfell!Sans, Underswap!Sans, Dream, Nightmare, Underkeep!Sans, Outertale!Sans, Epic!Sans, Cross!Sans, Darkness!Dreammare

Warnings: character death, swearing, violence, manipulation, abusive relationship tw, angst

Word count: 4,034

Summary: Darkness!Drifter, but with Asshole Nightmare.

Underfell Sans 9054’s reaction when he stabbed the other straight through the soul, pinning the other bodily as well, hissing “You arrogant fool, did you really think that I wouldn’t notice that you’ve been finding ways to slip information to those pathetic rebels in your insignificant AU?”

“F-FUCK YOU! YOU PROMISED THAT YOU WOULD LET PAP LIVE IF I HELPED YOU!” The Fell Sans cursed, struggling with his final breath to summon an attack, even as his body crumbled to dust slowly around him.

“And I did let him live - up until the fool attempted to attack me. Then he died, as all traitors do. I warned you that if you crossed me, you would pay with your life.” Nightmare smirked, his visible eye light shining brightly “I do regret not killing him in front of you. Perhaps that would have broken some of the rebellious spirit inside of you. Then again, through your bumbling attempts at stealth and secrecy have led me straight to the so-called leaders of this pathetic attempt at resistance.”

“F… Fu...Ck… You…” The Fell Sans spat, managing to gather up enough energy to summon a blaster and sending a weak pulse of pure magic Nightmare’s way.

Entirely too slowly, and the dark overlord laughs as he casually steps aside, avoiding the slow burst of the dying monster’s magic, flicking his tentacle and wiping it clean of the mustard and dust that had coated it on the other’s now empty clothes.

“P-Please… I-I’ll do anything! J-Just please s-stop th-this!” Underswap Sans 2166 begged, tears streaming down his face. Interestingly enough, this Sans wore golden armor, instead of the usual blue. He was on his hands and knees, trembling violently.

Nightmare hummed for a moment - the other’s magical tears were a light teal color - and he wrapped a tentacle around the other’s waist, glancing at the other consideringly. The other’s despair and fear were exquisite for the lord of negativity to feel. Besides, Dust had been complaining that his latest toy had broken recently “And what would you give me in exchange for sparing your world, hmmm?”

“I… A-any… Anything! W-Whatever you w-want of me, I-I’ll do it!” The Swap Sans begged, the tears continuing to stream down his face. On the other hand, the younger skeleton was doing admirably not to snivel and crawl up into an unintelligible ball of fear and distress - which was impressive for a swap.

“Very well. You will accompany me to another world. You will be… Trained by the person I give you too, for what he requires of you. Do you understand?” Nightmare explained, a small smirk appearing on his face.

His brother was barely conscious, and fear, hatred and distress were the Papyrus’s greatest emotions at this point in time. The other called out weakly “B-Bro… D… Don’t do it…”

Curiously, the Swap Sans rallied himself a little at the sound of his brother’s voice, wiping his face free of tears, a bit of steel entering the other’s voice “O… Okay. As long as you promise that neither you, nor any of your people will ever step foot in this world again. I will… I will go with you. B-But first I want the human released back here, so that… So that all of the damage that has been caused to this world can be undone.”

Nightmare blinked a little bit in surprise - not expecting the other to try to negotiate with him. Hmm, perhaps the other might be useful in other ways? The grin on his face stretched wider and he answered “Agreed.” He snapped his fingers, and the unconscious form of the determined human child reappeared. They were badly injured, but still breathing if only barely. The tentacle wrapped around the Underswap Sans’s waist tightened a little as he created a portal, pulling the both of them through. Nightmare paused just long enough once on the other side of the portal to strike the human directly through the chest, shattering their soul in order to force a reset.

He of course let the Swap Sans see this, and hear the human’s scream of dying agony.

“Nightmare, you don’t have to do this! You can… You can stop fighting, and we… We can look for a cure for the corruption together.” Dream called out from where he was crouching, perched on a sturdy tree branch, his bow strung and pointed directly at the other, his hands shaking just a little, despite the confidence in his voice.

“And just why should I stop? They never stopped trying to hurt me, no matter how much I begged them? Now I have the power to do as I wish to whoever I want. Where are those adorable friends of yours, Dream? I thought that you and Ink were joined at the hip - along with at least one mortal tagalong for cannon fodder.” Nightmare purred as he stalked closer to his other half, making his way to the other. This was a surface AU - a rather pretty one at that. It was going to be so much fun to twist.

“None of them are cannon fodder! They are my friends and allies, Nightmare!” Dream hissed, his eye light shrinking a little, shifting a bit on his perch before teleporting to the other side of the clearing and shooting at him.

Nightmare didn’t even have to dodge as the arrow flew wide and buried itself in a bush before dissipating. The corrupted guardian laughed “Come now, Dream. I know you’re a better marksman than that. Or was that a warning shot? You know I won’t stop simply because you plead with me and cry.” He sent a couple of tentacles after Dream, grinning as he watched the other dodge, leaping from branch to branch.

Dream never saw one of his tentacles move one of the branches, which whacked the other out of the canopy and sending him sprawling on the ground, landing on one of his sides with a would-be sickening crack if he cared about the other’s health and safety. But it wasn’t a mortal blow, so Nightmare didn’t care. The other groaned weakly, trying to get up, only to collapse against the ground, stunned and bleeding magic.

Nightmare sent several tentacles after Dream, intent on capturing the other again - only to hiss and draw away as several Gaster Blasters appeared out of nowhere, their raw magical energy slamming into his grasping tentacles and severing them as he withdrew them. An Underkeep and an Outerfell Sans appeared out of nowhere, similar scowls of protective fury on their faces and in their emotional auras, sending wave after wave of bones after him in a surprisingly synchronized attack. “Everything’s clear - Ink sent us on ahead to see how you were fairing! We’ll grab you and retreat back to safety.” The Underkeep Sans called over his shoulder at the injured Dream, who only groaned in response. They escaped before Nightmare could break through their bone walls.

Outertale 123. It was a post-pacifist AU where the monsters had been set free of the barrier decades ago in their timeline, and after some initial bumpiness, both humans and monsters grew to love and respect one another, and explored and terraformed distant stars and planets to their souls’ content. It was exactly the sickeningly sweet bullshit that his other half would be so delighted to see.

Naturally it disgusted Nightmare. These people were far too happy for his liking. A dark smirk played on his lips as he stalked after the Sans of this timeline. He’d been picking off people in the other’s life for weeks now - killing them when they were alone, and leaving their dust for the Sans alone to find. The other had gone from concerned and confused, to wary and despairing. What made it better was the fact that rumors and whispers of that Sans being the one to blame for their deaths, despite being the head arbiter of Monster kind, and a well-respected and beloved comedian.

He was on his way to talk to his brother, Papyrus, who believed in and loved his brother, and had agreed to watch over the other, in case something was happening to him when he slept. The two of them walked down a star-lit alleyway, and Nightmare couldn’t help but laugh, the dark, echoing sound causing both of the younger skeletons to freeze. “Well, well. Isn’t this just sweet?”

“Oh fuck. I recognize you from my worst nightmares!” The Outertale Sans swore, dragging his brother back behind him “P-Papyrus, run! I… I’ll handle this guy. G-Go to Undyne and tell her to bring the guard - and I mean all of them!”

“BROTHER? IS THIS SOMEONE FROM THOSE SIGHT-VISION THINGS OF YOURS?” The Papyrus asked with a frown, unwilling to leave his brother behind to this goopy stranger.

“Huh… You’re a Seer. That’s rather unusual for a Sans. But I already have three of you working for me anyways.” Nightmare shrugged “So I’m sorry, but you’d just be unnecessary.”

“PAPYRUS RUN NOW!” The Sans yelled, throwing up several walls of bones and summoning several blasters at the same time, breaking out his bold voice.

The Papyrus made it three steps before Nightmare teleported behind both of the brothers and pierced both of their souls with his tentacles, laughing darkly as he did so “Far too late, little seer. Your power is no match for mine.” They coughed, sputtered once and turned to dust, desperately trying to reach out to one another to hold hands, their fingers turning to dust and mixing together.

“Bruh! It’s been forever since we’ve seen each other! I’ve missed you superbad, man.” A tall, purple clad Sans called out, tackling Cross and hugging him tightly “Ink has been.. Such a cagey jerk about where you’ve been and it’s sucked! But you’re here! I’ve got so many dank memes to show you.”

“Dude! I didn’t know you were visiting this timeline!” Cross responded, a wide grin appearing on his face as he hugged the other back just as tightly “Yeah… I’m really mad at Ink for… Reasons I totally don’t want to go into, because it will bring down my mood, and with you here, I feel great. You always make me happy, E.” The normally stoic Sans’s face had light up, and his emotions were much lighter than Nightmare had ever sensed them.

What the actual fuck was going on? Curious and intrigued, Nightmare leaned against one of the huge buildings of this world, content to watch for the moment.

“Ouch, bruh. I mean, I totally get it - Ink can be such a bastard sometimes- especially if he’s forgotten to take his vials and Dream’s not around him… Wait, have you even met Dream?” E as he was so named asked, his eye lights brightening a little “The little dude is amazing, you totally should. It’s like… Just being around him makes me feel as if everything’s going to be okay. He tries super hard to help everyone and is…” The skeleton brought two fingers up to his teeth and kissed his fingers with his hand before gesturing away from himself briefly.

That had absolutely no meaning whatsoever to Nightmare, who tilted his head a little, and was further confused at the incredibly over-dramatic gasp from Cross, who’s eye lights had widened before turning into stars for fuck’s sake.

“No! I haven’t. But if he really can do something like that… I’d love to meet him.” Cross responded, his eye lights still stars. His emotions were almost entirely positive in nature, and that stupid smile was still on his face. He frowned a little, the good feelings fading somewhat “I… Have met someone else though. He uhh… He’s a scary dude. And the skeles he runs with…” Cross shudders, his bones rattling a little, grimacing a little.

“That bad, bruh?” E prodded, a look of concern appearing on his face as he pulled the other a little bit closer. The two of them hadn’t stopped hugging since the purple Sans had tackled him minutes ago. It was odd to see Cross allowing such sustained contact with someone willingly.

“You have. No idea. Dude, I… I just wanna hang with you, man. I don’t want to think about him or the jackass squad. They’re worse than Fresh and Error.” Cross muttered, shuddering again and looking around “Dude! Is that a meme store I see! We should go in! I wonder if they’ve got rubber chickens that we could fight with. That was so much fun last time.”

Nightmare wondered if this was code for something. However as Cross excitedly dragged the other into the obnoxiously neon colored store and back out minutes later, there were two rubber chickens clutched tightly in both Sanses’ hands. Cross turned to face the other, a serious expression on his face for the first time since they’d started talking “You ready for this, dude?”

“You betcha, bruh!” E called out, gripping his rubber chickens and charging Cross, whacking him over the head with one of them, an unholy sound leaving the strange toy. It sent a shudder straight through Nightmare, who suddenly teleported between the two of them “That is it. Cross, put those ridiculous things down right now. You either kill this hapless moron right now, or I will.”

The joy and happiness within Cross’s emotional aura - and the smile on his face - vanished abruptly. He took a couple of small steps back, his eye lights shrinking to pinpricks “Ni… Nightmare… How long have… Have you-” The other stuttered, fear and panic in his aura.

“Since the two of you first started hugging. Kill him, Cross.” Nightmare ordered, scowling darkly at his unruly subordinate.

“Uhhh… Who the fu-” The purple skeleton started, only to be cut off by Cross.

“Epic, p-please let me handle this!” Cross snapped, shaking a little “I… I’m s-sorry for acting s-so ridiculous in front of you, Boss! He… He’s a powerful fighter. He’s from an AU called Epic!Tale and he’s a powerful fighter. He can be really useful to you please don’t make me kill him or kill him in front of me! P… Please? He… He’s my best friend…”

Nightmare tilted his head a little, as if considering the other’s plea “... And how do I have any indication that he’s more than the ridiculous simpleton that he was when the two of you were acting like before you realized that I was here, hmm? Or is that his special ability, to make other people act like idiots?”

“It-It’s not like that boss, I swear! We… We’ve both had some really shitty lives before… Before we met each other and… And together we use humor in order to cope and relate to each other.” Cross had fallen to his knees, his hands cupped in front of him in a pleading gesture, tears gathering in his eye sockets “Please… Boss… Epic c-can be useful to you, an-and I’ll make sure that he knows the rules and everything!”

“One week. You have one week to prove that he is a useful tool to me - and if he resists any order I give him, you will wish you’d have killed him by the time I’ve finished with him. Is that understood?” The fallen guardian hissed. Cross nodded frantically and dragged his friend away from him, whispering frantically, eye lights dim and shattered.

Nightmare gasped a little as he woke from the memories that the strange voices had prompted him to remember. A small smirk appeared on his lips as thousands more memories of causing others fear and pain flashed through his mind. A soft, dangerous chuckle rumbled through his chest as he wondered if he was alone in this body - or if Dream resided somewhere within this body - perhaps slumbering? He froze up for a moment as another memory rushed to the forefront of his mind… However this one, was from his other half.

Nightmare loomed over him, his cyan eye lights burning brightly, the other’s fury and indignation pressing hard against Dream’s senses, causing the corrupted positive spirit to whimper a little as he cringed away from the other “N-Nightmare?” He asked, voice trembling a little as he tried to figure out why the other was so upset.

“I told you not to leave this room, didn’t I?” Nightmare growled, grabbing his wrists with one hand and pressing them over his head, the other’s grip painful and bruising.

“Y-You d-did, Nightmare.” Dream stammered out, his eye lights shrinking to pinpricks as he glanced away from the other. He flinched as he felt the negative guardian’s other hand grab his chin and yank his face so he was forced to look up at the other.

“So why did Killer and Dust tell me that they saw you in the kitchen, Dream? I don’t make these rules up because I want to. My minions are violent and unstable. While I have informed them that you aren’t a threat to them any longer, I don’t trust them not to try to hurt you anyways.” Nightmare hissed, shaking the other’s head a little “And if they kill you, that will kill me too? Is that what you want? Do you want the both of us to die?”

“N-No, Ni-Nightmare! I… I’m s-sorry I le-left your be-bedroom. I sh-shouldn’t have.” Dream stuttered, feeling a strange, tarry substance start to drip out of his eye sockets and slide along his temples, onto the other’s expensive sheets.

“Why did you leave this room, anyways?” Nightmare pressed, glaring darkly down at him “I ask so little of you, I just thought that you might be able to follow such a simple request…” he clicked his tongue at him, shaking his head, disappointed. He suddenly let the other go, refusing to look at the other.

Somehow that was even worse than the anger and bruising touches. “I…” Dream started, his voice small and ashamed.

The lord of darkness briefly glanced at his other half before looking away again, huffing a little “I hope this isn’t a prelude to you abandoning me again, Dream.”

“N-No of c-course not! I was just… I was just hu-hungry… And w… Wanted to get something to eat…” Dream admitted very quietly, shrinking in on himself. He tentatively reached out to Nightmare, his voice gaining a little bit of strength “I… I’m sorry…”

Nightmare brushed off his touch and got off of his bed, snapping at Dream as the other started to move “Stay put. And you keep saying that, over and over again… Yet I can’t help but wonder if you really mean it, or if your apologies are completely without sincerity.”

Dream flinched but stayed put, hoping that his obedience now would show the other that he was genuinely apologetic - along with how he was feeling. “M-My a-apologies are genuine, N-Nightmare! I-I promise… I’m sorry… I’ll s-stay here. I w-won’t move… I wo-won’t let anyone in here b-but you… I’m sorry, p-please d-don’t se-send me away N-Nightmare! I… I’ll behave. I promise!” The strange substance started to flow down his cheeks again as Dream shook, waiting desperately for the other to respond.

It felt like an eternity before Nightmare responded, his voice clipped and irritated “Look at me Dream.”

The fallen guardian of positivity obeyed instantly, staring at the other with wide, terrified eye lights, waiting for the other to decide his fate “Y-Yes, N-Nightmare…”

“I want to believe you when you say that you’ll do as I say… But you haven’t been able to prove that to me. On the contrary, it’s been less than a week since you’ve come to live with me, and you’ve disobeyed me twice now. I’m afraid that I’m going to have more than just promises that you’ll behave this time, Dream.” The other sighed, shaking his head a little as he got up, walking over to one of his drawers and pulling out a set of chains. They were long enough for someone to wander around the bedroom - provided that they were attached to someone’s legs, but no further. Nightmare then attached one of the ends of the manacles to one of the feet of the massive four-poster bed, the other still in his hands as the other looked at him steady “Now, I’m going to give you a choice. Do you want one of your wrists bound to the bed, or one of your ankles?”

Dream froze up for a moment, feeling as if all the air in the room had vanished. No. He trusted Nightmare. He loved Nightmare. And the other loved him back. The other could have just forced the chains on one of his limbs without asking- Nightmare had the brute strength to do so, but he hadn’t. He crawled towards the other on the bed and, after a moment’s hesitation, stuck out his right arm for the other to chain “My… My right wrist please…” Dream couldn’t quite look the other in the eye lights, starting a little as he felt the buzz of magic-restricting runes against his bones as the manacle clicked around his wrist.

Nightmare smirked a little, gently tilting Dream’s chin so that he had to look the other directly again “Thank you for cooperating with me. I understand that these rules will be an adjustment for you… But please believe me when I tell you that I will provide for your needs, Dream? You do trust me, don’t you?”

“I do trust you, Nighty! I promise.” Dream answered quickly, nodding a little and trying to suppress a yawn and failing… He’d been a little tired before, but with the magic-restricting nature of the manacle on his wrist, it was quickly sapping him of energy.

Nightmare chuckled softly, getting back on the bed and scooping up his other half, pressing a light kiss to the other’s forehead “Rest, Dream. I have finished my work for the day, and I don’t mind watching you sleep… Besides, a nap sounds wonderful.”

The formerly positive spirit yawned a little more, nuzzling into Nightmare as he slowly relaxed into the other’s grasp. What felt like minutes later, Dream woke up with a startled gasp, flailing a little and panicking briefly as he felt Nightmare hold him… Before he remembered surrendering to his other half and being brought home. He smiled in relief as he realized that he had no chains on either of his wrists. They ached a little but he’d apparently been sleeping on them, so that made sense. Dream didn’t notice the silver manacle on one end of the bed, and most of it was hidden beneath the blankets that Nightmare had covered him by - but the other half of the end of the chain was wrapped lightly around both of Dream’s ankles.

Nightmare mentally shook himself as he pulled himself free of Dream’s memories before he could get lost in the many manipulations he’d pulled on the other. Of course the other loved him dearly and desperately… Given all that he’d manage to cajole the other into doing since Dream had surrendered to him. But it was wonderful to feel just how deeply and completely the other felt for him. Nightmare was curious to see whether or not Dream could feel his own feelings of care for the other…

“... Nightmare?” Dream called out, insubstantial and see-through. He was still wearing the outfit that he’d picked out for him, his eye lights mostly blue with hints of gold. “W-What’s going on?”

“The two of us were somehow combined into a single being. I’m not sure how or why.” Nightmare responded, a small smirk playing on his lips as he sat down and looked up at the tree of feelings, the positive and negative apples just… Hanging there. Waiting to be taken.

“Oh… At least that means that no one can ever take us away from each other! We’ll be together forever.” Dream responded after a moment, a brilliant smile appearing on his face “That makes me so happy!”

“I’m glad that we’ll be together forever as well, my darling daydream…” Nightmare purred quietly in response, reflecting on what he wanted to do next. There were so many possibilities.

#my writing #dreammare #darkness!dreammare #Dream #Nightmare #Cross #outertale sans #fell sans #swap sans #epic sans #character death tw #swearing tw #violence tw #manipulation tw #abusive relationship tw #underkeep!sans #outerfell!sans #Outcome: stardust

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zora-moyashi · 4 years

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she hops up the building and stands next to her. "hi i'm back"

Core

“I see that, though you have been a brat

"maybe so, maybe so but you shouldn't deny that you started all that." she looks back at the kids for a second who were almost caught up.

Core

Shade climbed up faster than Shine. “Kits you bring oh what a treat, oh yes a treat Horror loves to eat.”

"funny you mention that. she's actually following us. to my knowledge you're not a star eater?"

Core

“I lack the teeth to do such a thing, like a bird lacking a Wing.”

"that's cause you're a human, am i wrong? do you wanna eat stars? cause that's kinda disgusting."

Core

“I eat what I want. Even with taunts.”

"except stars. oh yeah by the way sorry about going into your town again, i know i said i wouldn't but this is an exception." she takes the kids and putshes them to LJ a little.

Core

Shine seemed super nervous about LJ, hiding behind Chara

"LJ meet shine and shade, come to think of it you may already know them, seeing how close you are to night."

Core

“Know then I did not, but one of them; the real me they spot.”

she pauses thinking about that."that's a little to cryptic for me haha. what do you mean?"

Core

Shade noticed Shines nervousness, before looking back at LJ, seemingly catching on.

noticing shade she comes to the conclusion. "I'm completely left in the dark, someone care to explain?" she says irritated.

Core

“She’s really really bad.” Shine whimpered.

"how so hon?"

Core

“Shadow.......” shine mumbled. LJ put a finger over her lips before laughing

chara is just baffled at how she doesn't understand a word of this. "what the f*ck are you talking about" she waves her hands around. "this meas nothing to me!"

Core

Shine grabbed Chaya’s arm as her eyes glowed letting Chara see what she saw. There was a shadow looming over LJ, with long fingers resting on her shoulders. Two beady red eyes was the only features on its face

(like that?)

Core

(Fran bow?)

(Then yes, exactly like that)

chara goes up while holding shine's hand and tries to touch the shadow.

Core

Shine planted her feet in the ground, not wanting to go any closer.

chara tries to drag her over

Core

Shine whimpers which was enough for Shade to get involved, freeing his sister from Chara’s grasp

she sighs angrily "shine i won't let it hurt you i just wanna take a better look!"

Core

Shine went fully behind Chara, touching her back so she could see the shadow.

she cocks her head and talks to LJ "so what is it exactly?"

Core

The shadow spoke. “See me, see me, yes you can. Looks to me like you’re part of a plan.”

"sounds to me like you're speaking nonsense, i've heard about these gods some of you talk about but they don't care about us, certainly not enough to have an actual plain made for us."

Core

“God She is not, but close enough to be given thought.”

"mmhm, and this plan is??/"

Core

“A game she makes, to see if you have what it takes.” Horror caught up, “you talking about the squid? Her games are so boring.”

"ah, ink? yeah she seems pretty boring to me too" she nods to horror

Core

LJ shrugged. “Boring it may seem, that is until you reach the final scene.”

"but how do you know this stuff? and what's gonna happen? what about ink is she like really bad i get the creeps from her, why are you attached to LJ why does shine hate it somuch?" she keeps rattling off questions. "if i know how it ends i can make it end my way instead."

Core

The shadow looked to the forest. “Said to much I have, but your actions are worth some laughs.”

"rude"

Core

LJ hopped down the tower, going her own way

chara follows, not letting her get off this easy. "hey, the kits are still going to help you weather you like it or not"

Core

“Help I need none, without help is much more fun.”

"i get that, but you need help."

Core

“No.”

"you don't have a choice."

"we should get night to join"

Core

LJ looked at Chara with a glare as Shine ran past, Horror chasing her and Shade chasing Horror

chara's sure they'll be fine and doesn't pay any mind. "it'll be fun!"

Core

LJ shook her head.”

"don't be a stick in the mud, i thought you were the fun one"

Core

“It is not wise to go against the squid. Even if you’re just a kid.”

"if we die we die, no need to prolong the enviable, live a little. isn't it depressing being in this town that's just as broken as you?" she looks over to the kids

Core

“No.” Shade hit Horror who slashed at him

"no it's not depressing or no you won't come?" she yells over "yo horror! stop harassing the kits!"

Core

“Both.” LJ said. Horror looked over. “What? I’m hungry.”

"we went over this," she pouts to horror than asks, "yo do you know how to teleport?"

Core

“No I don’t.” She said, grabbing Shade

chara shoots a yellow bullet through horror's arm shattering the bone and letting shade free. "a shame. it's going to be a lot harder to get her to cooperate without that..." she thinks and slides her view to LJ. "guess if you're gonna be like that, we'll just have to fight until night gets over her to save you."

Core

“Nightmare has to rest, starving herself again unlike the rest.”

"than it'd be a shame to wake her~"

Core

“She would eat you, but then again you have no clue.”

"she got beat by that error gal, i'm not as scared as i was before."

Core

LJ rolled her eyes.

"sassy today hm?" "tell you what, we go talk to night, see what she says about your mental state and we'll go from there. if she says you're fine then i'll leave ya alone" (doesn't mean i'll let the kids leave her alone)

Core

(XD Shine does not wanna stay with LJ)

(too bad haha >:P )

she turns away from her "okay y'all new game, get LJ to nightmare. shine can ride on my back if she's to chicken to be around LJ."

Core

Shine nodded, going to Chara

chara picks her up and they all make there way to the forest? i guess? "horror, you know where exadctly she is?"

Core

“Night? Yeah I do.” Horror said, leading the way

"sweet" when they get around the area chara scouts out to find her first even though shine's getting a bit heavy.

Core

She spots Nightmare resting in a tree. Shine got nervous

"hey nighttt~ member me?" she hops over disregarding shine's hesitance.

Core

Nightmare was fast asleep, her tentacles were wrapped around the branches to keep her from falling, one was buried slightly under the ground.

"okay well don't acknowledge me than! we're here to help out LJ, we were wondering if you approve or if you would like to help?"

Core

When Chara stepped where to tentacle was, it shot up and snapped her neck immediately, waking Nightmare up to eat, not caring who or what she killed

chara wakes up at her save shaking her head and rubbing her neck. "that was fun..." she gets up and goes back to where the others are.

Core

(Yeah, Nightmare is an ambush hunter, using as little energy as she can, she honestly hates having to kill others to eat, but has too, so she’ll starve herself to the point where she can’t do too much. So she hunts once a week or so) She was back at the castle when she reloaded. Shine had hidden as Nightmare ate, ripping off limbs to swallow the larger pieces whole.

(confusing lol, okay so in this world chara regenerates a whole body, got ya) she goes up to night again crouching by her, "enjoying your meal?" she says flatly. she also looks around for shade

Core

Shade was with Shine. Nightmare finished eating before answering. “No, never do.”

"well you're depressing haha!"

"did you hear what i said before or did you push that all out of your mind?"

Core

“What else is new? And no Iwas asleep.”

"great well, we want to help LJ." she waves a hand "and by 'we' i mean the kits"

Core

“What ki-“ Nightmare looked over and saw the two. Shade immediately arching his back slightly to make himself look tougher.

"your niece and nephew"

Core

Nightmare looked at Chara, “I don’t have any living relatives.” She said

"umm,?" she's just confused. "you know, like dream? her kits?"

Core

“Dream has been dead for five years now.” Nightmare glared slightly

"either i'm way behind on resent events or your confused. i met dream just about a week ago. she attacked me with her arrows and she was corrupted so ?"

Core

“That is Shattered, she’s from a different timeline.” Nightmare sighed

chara sighs with her. "you guys and your 'she's from a different dimensions/timelines so i don't care about her' like damn. i'm ninety percent sure any asreil i come across i would still care for like a brother. but whatev. i'm not here to talk about ethics."

Core

“But they wouldn’t be the same, they wouldn’t be the person you knew.” Nightmare said

"you're right, but you have to appreciate the ones that are here, make new memories. they're not your version of your family but it's still them. ah and shattered's dead too btws. " she holds a laugh under her breath.

Core

“See, I shouldn’t try that because they get killed too.”

"think what you want, i still want to help your little LJ and i'd love your assistance in doing so, so is it a deal or nah?"

Core

“LJ normally doesn’t need help, she does fine with her own, though sometimes if she’s too unstable I have to use some shadows.” Nightmare replied

"oh sh*t! you gave her that creepy thing?!"

Core

“Yeah, you saw it?”

"only because of shine"

Core

“Am I to assume that is one of the kits?”

"yes you are, it's that one" she points her out as shine hides more from being pointed out.

Core

“She’s awfully shy for a genocide star.”

"well that's news to me, i haven't seen them eat i suppose..." she squints. "are you sure about that?"

Core

“Her mother is Shattered, do you know the father?”

"nope, i'm clueless."

Core

“So either Neutral or Genocide?”

"i guess? i don't know how star genes work" she shrugs

"hey shine, come over here will you?" she calls

Core

Shine slowly can over.

"hey kid, did you know who your dad was at all?"

Core

Shine shook her head

"helpful as always shine," "know what, how about you go fight horror for a while, see how many times you two can kill her, cause it's free exp." she turns to night "so you really don't want us to help LJ?"

Core

“She doesn’t need help”

Chara shakes her head not pleased. "Fine. Fine." She walks away with shine over to horror and shade. "That went well." She sighs. "Suppose we'll have to move on to killer."

Core

Shade didn’t say anything. “It’s actually harder to find her sometimes than it is to find the squid.”

"she was just here like an hour ago, why is she so hard to find??"

Core

“Because She has places she goes to.”

"hmmmm? well you're her friend, where are these places?"

Core

“That’s the thing, she doesn’t tell anyone.”

"alright but doesn't night keep tabs on her?"

Core

“Can’t.” Nightmare yawned. “I can only do that if I have made eye contact with them, but Killer tore out her eyes.”

"that's weird." chara folds her arms thinking of what to do next. she goes up to shade and kinda just looks at him

Core

Shade growls and sticks his tongue out

she snickers. "i haven't even been that mean to you kid, what's your deal?"

Core

“‘Haven’t been that mean?’ You killed me!!” He growled crossing his arms. Horror chuckled. “You act a lot like Night.”

"*snort* yep i've killed most of my friends. don't worry about it. you're alive so stop being a baby about it."

Core

Shade growled at her answer. Meanwhile Killer made sure no one was following her as she passed an abandoned house, the siding falling off as vines climbed up the sides. She went to the backyard, where two makeshift graves were. “Hey Jazz, Mom.... I know I’m late but.... happy birthday little brother.” She said with a sad smile

"you're going to stay salty about this aren't you? what do you expect me to do to fix it?"

Core

“Stop being a bully.” Shade said.

Killer sat on the ground, telling her deceased sibling and mother about events that had pasted

"pfff" she shakes her head "that's vague. i just wantta keep you two safe, you have a problem with that?"

Core

Shade pointed to Horror. ��I don’t think that is safe.” Horror chuckled. “Man you really are a little punk, huh?”

"he sure is." she looks to shade "you're missing the point. i want to keep you safe in the long term. you need to be strong to be able to survive."

Core

Shade crossed his arms and looked away from Chara. Shine was still behind Chara

chara grabs shine's hand and pulls her a bit forward. "now that i think you understand are you going to stop moping or are we going to have to butt-heads more shade? sense LJ isn't willing to be helped it's time to find killer again. i'd expect shatter to know where she might be." she walks back to the rift expecting shade to fallow.

Core

Shade’s glare softened slightly when he saw his sister. He sighed and followed Chara and Shine. Shatter had reformed, and was talking to Tonic. “You know, today is a special day.”

chara's happy at shade's obedience. tonic's tail wags. "yes? how so?" she asks shatter.

Core

“Well, remember how I told you I had a little brother?” Shatter said.

Tonic nods solemnly

Core

“It’s his birthday today.” Shatter said with a sad smile

"do you plan on visiting his grave?" she asks

Core

(So my version of Ink can actually hear us, like when we talk in () )

(got ya, that's kinda creepy haha)

Core

“I don’t think he would’ve wanted me to, he always wanted us to keep moving on,” Shatter replied, looking over at Tonic. “But you already know that I suck at that.”

tonic looks down unsurely. "that's alright. i haven't been able to move on quickly as well. either way i'm sure your brother would want you to feel better. however you spend the day i'm sure he wouldn't mind." chara, shine and shade get back to where tonic and shatter are.

Core

Shatter smiled at pat Tonic’s head. “You would have gotten along with him.” She then looked over at Chara. “Now, the only reason I can come up with as to why you would come to me is that you either need me to babysit, or you need help.”

"well gee, nice welcome shatter. is it so wrong to want to see my friend." she snickers. "but yeah, you are right. i want to know if you'd know where killer is.

Core

(Ink can not touch water, or hydrogen in general, it ‘burns’ her) “Killer? Oh you mean Yuma....” Shatter stood up. “Well I have a pretty good idea.”

tonic watches shatter and chara asks "yeah? were's that? she seemed mad at me for saying that horror and i are her friends. she all blew up on us so...? " she shrugs.

(i'm unsure why people do the water hurts ink or nightmare thing. i don't know where that came from.)

Core

(as for with my Ink it is science, see hydrogen cuts through carbon bonds, and my Ink is made of pure carbon, so hydrogen harms her.) “Well, I honestly don’t blame her, but come on.” Shatter said, making a portal

(ah, makes sense! ) tonic follows and chara looks at shatter questioningly before joining.

Core

The portal went to an old house, the siding was falling off as vines climbed up

chara went up to look around and finds yuma on the ground in the backyard

Core

Killer turned to Chara. “What are you doing here?”

"mmmm, mostly saying 'hi'" she looks at the graves "your brother?" she tilts her head?

Core

“None of your business.” Killer glared, as she spoke with a hiss.

"i mean maybe not, but you know me. i like to be in everyone's business." she goes up closer slowly.

Core

Shatter stayed still, floating slightly above the ground, meaning Killer couldn’t sense her. “Yeah and it’s bloody annoying.” Killer hissed.

chara just laughs. "come on, you know you love me." she goes to sit by yuma

Core

“I tolerate you, maybe not even that.” Killer hissed.

chara shrugs sitting cross legged after a second she asks "is there a reason you're here today?"

Core

Killer picked Chara up by the back of her sweater. “It’s none of your concern.” She hissed, going over to where Tonic and the kits were. (Fun fact: Nightmare’s coating is poisonous)

(ooo) chara hangs from killer's grip lazily. tonic perks up at the sight of yuma, sitting up a bit straighter.

Core

Killer dropped Chara. Before ‘looking’ at Tonic. “And who are you supposed to be?” She hissed

"oh, I'm just. I'm just a friend of chara's." chara swipes the dirt off of her sweater. "that's putting it generously..." with a scowl.

Core

Killer turned to Chara. “So you don’t like them?”

"no, not at all."

Core

“See how you feel about them, I feel for you.” Killer said harshly, as she started to walk away

"pffff!" she hops up and stands in front of killer, blocking her way. "damn, you don't have to be so mean! we're just here to help ya know? the kits wanta help you out of this little pit you've dug for yourself. dont tell me you're pleased with were your life is right now cause i know you'd be lying.

Core

“My life is none of your concern. And I don’t need any of your help.” Killer said. ‘Hey, you might wanna use act and check.....’ Shatter told Chara via telepathy

chara with a shrug does as she's told and checks killer.

Core

Killer lv 57 hp 122/730 ‘something seems very wrong with this star’s soul’

chara pauses and looks at tonic who stares back at her blankly. "tonic heal up killer, she's hurt." she orders. tonic looks to killer unsurely. chara brings up her act menu and sees what's available.

Core

Killer turned back to Chara. “I’m fine.” She growled. -insult -ask -challenge

"sure you are" she says condescendingly. and chooses the ask option.

Core

-you ask Killer why she is hiding- Killer didn’t respond, but still wouldn’t let Tonic close

chara asks what's wrong with killer's soul

Core

“Look, I don’t pester you about your past, don’t pester me on mine.” Killer said, her tone more calm than before

"friends pester each other, just shows we care. if you're so fine and won't even let yourself be healed how about we fight and when i knock you out i'll get my answers the hard way."

Core

“Fine, you wanna fight? Then let’s fight.” Killer replied, grabbing her knife from her pocket

chara makes a slingshot. tonic panics a little. "do y-you really need to fight? i don't mean to be rude but you simply don't seem well..." they shuffles their feet

Core

“I told you already, I’m fine.” Killer responded as she started to circle

tonic looks up at shatter worried while chara shoots a few yellow bullets at killer's legs and goes in with her knife at her torso.

Core

Killer teleported behind Chara slashing at her back

chara swerves around slashing behind her as quickly as she can hoping to hit her before she moves again.

Core

She cut Killer’s hoody

chara goes up to tackle killer after giving a glance to the kits clearly ordering them to help her take down killer.

Core

Shine threw a explosive, making Killer jump out of the way, where Shade tripped her

after shade trips her chara goes up to cut killer's neck.

Core

Killer teleported out of the way

chara turns to killer as fast as she could but gets hit in the back of the head, stumbling forward.

Core

Killer then pinned Chara to the ground

chara squirms to get her hand free

Core

Killer kept her pinned, “Just give up.”

"Not happening! Do ya even know me?" She kicks at her, not getting much of anywhere. "Kittttts come on!"

Core

Shade tried to slash only to get slashed at

while killer was distracted chara managed to roll away and get a small hit to killers back.

Core

Killer took 2 damage. She turned quickly to counter before her health cut by 50, forcing her to wince and teleport back to get some distance

chara checks her again and sees how much damage she did. and whistles to herself. "wow, you're worse off than i thought." she sets up a checkpoint and circles around killer as quickly she could and sets a few more. trying to put her in a cage of checkpoints.

Core

Killer hp 25 / 730 Her soul seems unstable. Killer glared as she watched Chara do this, as if planning something.

chara laughs. "you just going to let this happen?" with a shrugs she lets off a couple of rounds checkpoint shooting to another checkpoint and leaving a blue bar behind. one checkpoint lazer thing goes straight for killer to the checkpoint on the other side of her.

Core

Killer teleported multiple times in a row, getting the lazer to bend in a grid like pattern.

"well isn't that just pretty~ you making us some art killz?" she can't keep up with her teleportion so she tries to find a pattern in her movements instead

Core

Killer did have a pattern, it was as if she was trying to do something with the lazer, 2 feet left, 4 feet up, 2 side, 4 down.

she followed the pattern going about 2 steps ahead and set a purple web on the ground where she should land while readying her knife as well.

Core

Killer teleported once before breaking her pattern as a wormhole appeared in the grid

"ooo~" chara takes a step back observing but getting ready to get out of there with the kits. "this reminds me of digimon haha, do you have dementional powers? i don't know why but i wouldn't peg you as that."

Core

“No, just escape.” She said hopping through before the wormhole closed

".... pff. didn't take you for a coward either." she calls back the checkpoints and replenishes her magic. "shaaaater, whereee'd she go?" she goes up to where she was.

Core

“Probably skakarr....” Shatter answered. “Since she needed to heal, but there is no way I am going back there.”

chara makes a sad face. "hmph..." she turns to tonic knowing their the only hope she seems to have to get there. "take us there." she orders and tonic glances around surprised "uhhh" they say

Core

“Look, skakarr is not a place to just ‘go and visit’ ok? It’s more like an active war zone 24/7.”

"i can take care of myself." she shrugs and she goes closer to tonic. "so like how does this work? you know how to teleport right? not much of a health aid if you can't get there in time hmm?"

"well... umm. i'd need some blue magic." tonic says quietly.

Core

“Not there you can’t, ok? Whatever kind of place you think it is, I can assure you it is much much worse.” Shatter said

she looks back at shatter. "... well fine but killer's there. and at 25 hp. it feels like an obligation for me to help or at least see what's wrong so i can prevent it happening to the kits or somthin" "besides. war is war and i can always reset. it ain't no thing." she thinks for a second where she'd get blue magic cause she'd assume her replicate blue magic wouldn't work.

Core

Shatter sighed, “Killer is like me, remember? We’ve been there, and one tends to know where to hide there after 7 years.”

"well gee shatter! you know i'm gonna go anyway! should probably stop trying to talk me out of it hmmm? it'll be fun! you're strong! if you wanna keep us safe you can always tag along~" she goes a little closer to the kits. "you have purple magic right? can you like. cry blue magic or something cool like that? if stars even cry i guess haha."

Core

Shatter sighed.”If I take you, it should just be us two, and you need to listen to me.” She said.

"eeyyy!" she goes up and hugs shatter quickly. "thank you!" she has the biggest grin on.

#arc 4 #rp chain

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oovitus · 6 years

Text

Learning how to self advocate for wellness and career advancement

I've recently been meditating on personal and professional development and in a lot of ways, maintenance. Part of it aligns with recently discussed concepts of wellness and work-life balance. Part of it also has to do with this intrinsic unsettled feeling I'm experiencing with work. I attended an academic conference recently which I believe was clarifying and is helping me to frame my approach. Health This all started with a dive into self care, specifically, trying to make sure that I was taking better care of this 41 year old body of mine. I had not been to a dentist in 15 years. Yes. You read that correctly. I had not seen a dentist since before medical school. Part of it was because I'm irrationally terrified of the dentist... part of this fear probably came from all those times my mother forced me to sit with her and hold her hand through many root canals and extractions while she squirmed, wiggled and held a vice grip on my hand. The other part of it was the silly thought, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." The final factor was the disease of busy. I flossed. I brushed. I have a nice smile. I'm fine. It wasn't until my little one bravely sat through the first couple of dental appointments during which we found out he had multiple cavities between all of the molars, necessitating 8 crowns, a failed attempt at in office nitrous and subsequent trip to same day oral surgery center with a pediatric anesthesiologist that I finally made an appointment. So I did it. I had a couple of cavities, needed scaling (which is a special kind or torture) and am now getting teed up for a root canal. I suppose it's not bad for 15 years. At least I'm keeping all of my teeth, for now. Let's move on to fitness. I'd topped off the scale at 5 pounds over my full term pregnancy weight. I hated what I saw in the mirror. Inside I was happy. My outside didn't match my insides... maybe I wasn't happy. Regardless, I've spent the last year trying to make sure to make time to do tedious things like plan healthy and nutritious meals and get some exercise. I found a colleague and now friend who was an online health coach. I found a supportive environment of other busy, professional women who found time and prioritized this portion of self care and found that they ended up being happier, more patient and feeling more fulfilled all around. I found tools which were easy to implement (albeit requiring some behavior change), accountability partners and fun exercise options. I enjoyed it so much that I myself became a coach. With everything we give to our patients, our learners and our hospitals, we absolutely must prioritize ourselves in there somewhere. Working out may not be your thing, but you have to identify what it is that recharges you and make time for it. Put it on your schedule or it will not happen. It will ebb and flow, but you've got to take care of you before you can take care of anyone else. I still need to schedule that Pap and Mammo... I'm a work in progress. Personal Development Part of the company's philosophy is ensuring that you spend some time each day on your own personal development. This created an opportunity for me to read some personal development books (the former four letter "self-help" category). Below you will find the books I've gone through over the last 6 months (good grief, whoever created audiobooks is literally the best because I become narcoleptic while reading). I've read (or listened to in audiobooks) "You are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life" by Jen Sincero. She's not a physician, but she's been through some things and many of her struggles and insecurities resonated with me. She is also remarkably sarcastic and funny and I had many a laugh while listening to her book. I followed that with "The Compound Effect: Jumpstart Your Income, Your Life, Your Success" written by Darren Hardy. This dude for all intents and purposes is a self made gazillionaire and did it all with hard work and discipline, specifically with small changes every day. He had an authoritarian for a father, so we have that in common. It focuses more on the business world, however if I ever consider entrepreneurship, I'll probably revisit it. I followed that with bits and pieces of several books from Brene Brown... "Rising Strong" and "The Gifts of Imperfection," both of which hit chords with me. Let's figure out how to pick ourselves up after we fail at something because that is what bravery truly is. It takes no energy to stay down after you take a hit. Facing the day, reflecting on how you may have been responsible for whatever you've experienced is an important lesson. Reading her book is like sitting in a therapist's office, without the $200 price tag. She's a shame researcher and she hits the nail on the head when she discusses the mountains of self imposed guilt we shoulder unnecessarily. She's also witty and sarcastic from time to time. Next was "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" by Mark Manson. Now, if you can move past the fact that this guy is a bit like a frat boy in his use of language, there are some important lessons to be learned. Some things just don't deserve our energy. Seriously. My latest read is "Feminist Fight Club: A Survival Manual for a Sexist Workplace" by Jessica Bennett. I came upon this book on my way to the aforementioned conference. I knew I was specifically attending a workshop designed to appeal to women interested in leadership in academic medicine. I was looking for something which would light my fire and help me think outside the box a bit. Jessica Bennett is a journalist who specifically writes about issues of gender, sexuality and culture. In her book, she highlights the research which discusses not only how institutions may unknowingly or overtly be preventing growth of their female professionals, but also behaviors we may be demonstrating which hinder our own progress. I take each of these books with a respective grain of salt, but it's really kind of opened my eyes to some self reflection and highlighted some things I may want to work on within myself. When we spend so much of ourselves in tending to other's needs, our own needs and need for growth can get lost in the mix. Professional development So, I'm an academic. I teach medical students, PA students, residents, fellows, faculty. I have sought opportunities to develop my educational niche, my ability to provide feedback, teach a skill, develop a curriculum, pitch an idea to my department chair. I teach a lot of things... probably too many things, which is why I find myself feeling stale and unfulfilled here. I feel like I've spread myself so thin that I'm doing an ordinary job at all of the things for which I'd prefer to be doing an extraordinary job. I feel like an octopus juggling knives which are on fire. Is this imposter syndrome creeping in? Perhaps, but I know I could do better with my time and efforts if I peeled away from some things. I officially mentor some and unofficially mentor others. I've not received any training per se in mentoring, save observation of folks I hope to emulate. I don't know what the steps are. I don't know what skills to hone. It's kind of like teaching, but also very different from teaching. There should be a program for mentoring the junior mentor. There probably is, but I've not yet had the bandwidth to seek out or discover it, but it is something I need. What I found most interesting in the sessions at this conference was the focus on not necessarily seeking out the most sage mentor. Sometimes peer mentors are actually better for you as you navigate different challenges in your career. I've been at this academic gig for 6 years now. At the conference I attended, many of the female leaders commented on "cycles" and feeling unsettled after a certain amount of time doing each of the jobs they did. That hit home for me. I feel unsettled. I want to do what I'm doing differently and I need to advance my position from my current title to the next. As such, I've been meeting with my closest mentors, having heartfelt talks about what I thought I wanted when I started, what I've done and where I see it going. I see now that I've invested a tremendous amount of time and emotional capital in one path. It was my hope that by working hard and contributing, I'd be rewarded with position. Boom!!! Words from all of the books came to mind and highlighted for me that I in fact cannot do it all and I should be asking for compensation in some way for what I am doing. You will not get 100% of the things you DO NOT ask for. I must focus my efforts on those things which are most meaningful to me in my professional life. I need a new goal. I need a promotion. So, I'm going to spend the next couple of months working on my dossier, writing papers, reviewing and revising the curricula that I am responsible for and pouring the energy freed up by letting go of tasks held by one of my octopus tentacles. It's exciting and anxiety provoking to have this new approach and challenging in that I've never before created a dossier or gone up for academic promotion. Why didn't someone tell me about all of the stuff that goes into this? Why didn't someone tell me to keep better track of all of the lectures I taught, programs I developed, mentees I invested in, meetings I attended, evaluations I received??? This wasn't part of orientation when I became faculty. It was discussed as an afterthought in my annual meetings "You should be ready for promotion in a couple of years." After reading my most recent book, I wonder if the experience is the same for my XY colleagues. Is the assumption that because I'm a single mother, I must not be interested in promotion or advancement, so I don't really need the guidance or personal investment? To adapt a quote from Jessica's book, "No one gets shit done like a mom." I'm trying to figure out what my professional and personal mission statement is. What are my values? What do I hold dearest to me? Do my actions align with my values and my mission? How do I parlay these reflections into actions moving forward and be sure I'm looking out for my own professional interests, professional development and advancement? Learning how to self advocate for wellness and career advancement published first on https://storeseapharmacy.tumblr.com

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a-lover-of-hounds-blog · 7 years

Text

Arc 1 intermission

1 - Rin's Intermission Hiya~ Rin here to clarify some stuff since Akem is fairly simple in their explanations. First, this certainly isn't earth! The story started in the Myun Kingdom (though it's an elected king, so maybe not a kingdom at all? Not that the elections are fair though...) and will be going through at least 2 human kingdoms in the near future. They'll be the Equis Empire (descendants of the Roman and Mongolian empires) and the Central State. Yep. It's literally called "central state." Someone is laaazy. They're one of the two human countries that aren't utter shite, though they're admittedly the worse of the two. Buncha merchants, slavery is legal, non-humes are lower class citizens, etc. Run by a council of merchants, guarded by an army of adventures and mercenaries, used to be gnome's land but they got wrecked. Onto magic! The three (formerly four) of us are unusual! Normally magic is controlled by a system inherent in the world. It handles the hard stuff like accounting for variables in Gravity, rotation, energy conversions, etc. I'm doing that manually, which lets me control my spells to a much greater degree and cast spells the system normally wouldn't allow but it greatly increases cast time. I use music to help keep focus. Akem and Kris are different. If you called it sorcery to my wizardry, you'd be close. Akem just feels what they need to do and it happens, while Kris makes things happen by pure force of will. Zere was able to do it in the same way as me, but he could only ever manage basic dark magic (blind, shadowbolt). If you're talking functional difficulty of my way, Zere's magic would be equivalent to executing about 200-300 lines of code in your head and properly displaying the result. Advanced magic like lightning bolt would be like running a constant simulation on the level of Doom for 3 minutes. Not impossible, but difficult to keep track of all the variables. Also, memo: Make a golem and install doom on it. Oh, that's part of what we did for 6 months. I taught magic, made a gun, refined it, studied Akem, and taught Zere music. As far as Akem goes, we tested about 3 hours a day, things like viscosity, absorption, magic conductivity, magic power, composition, acid dilution/strengthening, physical limitations, and compounding with Akem as an ingredient. It was fun to have a new subject! The results were a bit disappointing though... No tentacle control or shape shifting yet :( For nsfw stuff, it probably won't appear in any detail or at all really unless the character is 18. None of the gods allow pedobears and, thanks to magic, infant mortality isn't near as high as actual medieval times. Rape may happen in the world, but not to those under 18 and definitely not in this story. Maturing rates are standard for the most part. Early teens is puberty, 18 is an adult, drinking age... There isn't one :P not that kids are getting sloshed though. Alcoholic content is low in general, with exceptions for dwarves, oni (sentient ogres), and some humes. It's generally considered impolite to be drunk in public too, so most know moderation. Oh, the exception to maturing rate is demons and demon beasts. If a demon reproduces normally (exchange of magic to create a new life), the offspring will follow the standard but sometimes demons just kind of appear fully grown with knowledge of the world and little naivety. Demon beasts on the other hand are mostly "male" and reproduce with just about anything, needing only a few days to a few weeks to become sexually mature. They're non-sentient though, just humanoid shaped beasts. They also sometimes just appear out of nowhere full grown. This'll probably be expanded on later, but demon beasts and demons overlap a fair bit. For example, there's actually 2 different species called orcs. The classic pig faced savage beast type that basically eats, fights, and f-cks and the sentient High Orcs that properly build and establish towns. High Orcs are still rather brutal but... They're hot. The pig snout recedes into simple broad humanish noses, the tusks are smaller, and sexual dimorphism occurs (normal orcs are mono-sex or perhaps sexless, if that makes sense). The dimorphism is nowhere near as extreme as a certain mmo and, because of their nature as a being born of magic, can be controlled to a large extent. Thanks to some mysterious person leaving a magic item that contained the equivalent of 1.7 terabytes of Orc porn a few hundred years ago, high orcs tend to gravitate towards certain builds... Well, it's definitely more fun that way and it makes otherworlders less likely to murder them on sight. I digressed a bit, but yeah. The trend of demon beasts and demons sharing similar base species persists throughout most of the common races. Dragons and wyverns, hobgoblins and goblins, high harpies and harpies, succ(ubi) and imps, oni and ogres, Arachne and.. Well, giant spiders. Werewolves fall under the Beastmen category (<3) while vampires don't naturally have a beast equivalent, the thralls they create are considered demon beasts. Kobolds are a bit of an oddity because they are two completely different species under one name (one like Hin sized dog-men, the other being lizard like). The lizard like race is technically a demon, but, due to high fertility and limited intelligence, they are often treated as demon beasts. The fluffy kobolds are a tribe of beastmen and are cute af. Other than the name, the two species have no relation. Oh, on beastmen. They're mammalian. Centaurs, wolf men, and other common animal people are all beastmen. Lamia, Scylla, and Arachne all fall under the demon category, along with sentient merfolk. Beastmen are awesome because not only are they typically animal headed (centaur being a rare exception), they also get a beast form. The sizes vary, but wolf men typically reach 6 ft at the shoulder on all fours when beasting. It's awesome. Giant wolf puppies~ <3 Er... Oh, Myun and these two. So first thing to understand is the second soul impacts appearance. The closer the two souls are, the stronger the second soul's racial traits appear. There are 4 tiers that are divided by breakpoints that effect ability and appearance. Until the 3rd tier, it's fairly easy to distinguish Myun from true demons/beastmen generally. The Myun will appear closer to a human with animal/demon traits than the opposite. An example would be lamia. A true lamia can virtually split their face to swallow prey while Myun with a serpent or lamia soul will at most have the tail replace their legs and have snake eyes at tier 1/2. Unrelated, but lamia hold competitions to see how big of a creature they can swallow whole. Unfortunately for the vore fans out there, the record for a human sized lamia is only the size of a 100 lb dog. Still impressive though. That's all for world building for now. Onto pointless questions! What's up with Kris? He's an idiot. It'll be explained in his arc, but seriously. So dumb. Is Zere dead? Yep. He ded. Unlike the knee, arrows to the head ends every career. Isn't Akem actually strong? Yep. They don't know that though and using acid on enemies doesn't occur to them normally. Personally, I'm not gonna tell them. More interesting if they have to figure out ways around their restrictions without knowing their benefits. Also, it's scary~ Who are you? Someone who loves you~ Joking, just quoting star wars. Nah, I'm just someone with a particular goal. Look forward to 2-5 for more info on that~ What's up with the prologue? Who's that aboot? It's a secret to everyone. Honestly, the "writer" forgot about that. We'll see what happens. This story is crap? Not technically a question, but agreed~ Obviously needs more Beastmen. There's a reason writer was in quotes up there~ That's all for now! Rin oot!

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