#you can provide new information without just being rude holy shit

[tozettastone]

I'm so tired of how much of the tumblr experience is just people I don't know reblogging my happy little fandom posts with "well, actually—" and sometimes I do just snap and actually respond to them. This isn't constructive but, your honour, I'm being provoked.

Sometimes they even make interesting points, and I still have to block them because they think this is a constructive way to talk to strangers about their fanfic ideas.

But half the time, they're not even right. They're confidently wrong and they're correcting me on a post about what would make a fun fanfic.

Listen. I am presenting a fic idea. It is the realm of make believe. I am playing a happy little game of pretend. That's why I introduce these posts with "there should be a fic where," or "the world needs more fics where..." I am signifying to you, my peers in this social activity, that this is a creative exercise and we are playing.

If you join in by telling me I am playing wrong, and actually the idea I presented is bad, you are being rude. Go make your own post with your own better ideas.

You engage constructively with posts like this by saying "yes, and," rather than "well, actually."

[radexchangeprogram]

This is a random one but can I request head cannons of the Brothers and Dateables reacting to an MC that’s actually a half demon but was really great at hiding her demon side since she grew up in the human world? They see a demon man just bounding towards MC before the boys could do anything MC’s like “DAD! 😃” before jumping in his arms like a child. Around her Dad she gains fangs and horns like him but she reverts back to normal when she wants to. The boys are like “Why didn’t you say anything?” And she’s like “I’m just used to my human side” or “You never asked 🤷🏾‍♀️”

Of course! I love this idea. I didn’t get a chance to proof read this so I apologize for any grammatical mistakes.

Author’s notes at the end (marked by *s)

Spoiler warning for up to chapter 17 to be safe. Especially with Belphie.

Half Demon GN!MC Headcanons

General

Everyone noticed that you never seemed too bothered by the fact that you were surrounded by demons, but figured you were just rather good at adapting.

This theory was proven wrong at a party Lord Diavolo hosted.

As you chatted with the brothers, a large demon with griffon wings, a lion’s mane, and horns similar to a gazelle began to head in the direction of your group.

The demon, who the others instantly recognized as Duke Vapula, walked up to them with a cheeky grin.

The brothers were instantly on guard, Mammon even growling slightly, as it was extremely uncommon for anyone to approach them so casually.

Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon, Luke, and Solomon all took notice and were prepared to intervine should something happen.

You turned around to see what the issue was and let out a loud gasp.

“DAD!”

Lucifer

Absolutely dumbfounded. How did he not know about this? He read your files to the point of practically memorizing them before you came here and he swears there was nothing about you being a half demon.

He was honestly a bit embarrassed that he didn’t know about something this major.

When confronting you, all you did was say that it wasn’t that big of a deal and that you figured they already knew.

You really give him a migraine sometimes.

He feels a bit relieved that he doesn’t have to worry as much about you dying, though.

If you wish, he may start teaching you demonic etiquette, such as having you shift form at formal events.

If you prefer your human heritage, he won’t pressure you to conform to your demonic ancestory.

Mammon

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN HIS HUMAN ISN’T ENTIRELY HUMAN?!?

The loudest about his displeasure about not knowing.

“I’m your first man! I’m supposed to know everything about you!”

When you explain to him that you’re more comfortable with your human half, he calms down a little.

Tries to call you ‘stupid half-demon’ but it doesn’t feel the same as ‘stupid human’ :(

You tell him he can just keep calling you ‘stupid human’ :D

Wonders if he can get your dad to pay him for ‘providing his child with such incredible protection’.

You immediately tell him no.

Leviathan

Holy shit this sounds like something straight out of an anime!!!

Very upset that you didn’t tell him, you’re his Henry! You’re supposed to tell him these kind of things!

When you shrug and simply say that no one asked, he gets even more pouty.

You make up with him quickly by offering to play games with him all night.

Extremely curious about your demonic form for the primary purpose of cosplay. Do you know how many more characters you can be if you have a tail or wings?!?

You might inspire some fanfiction. (half demon Henry x Lord of Shadows au slow burn 100k words, def not Leviathan projecting no not at all-)

Satan

He is extremely shocked. Not only did he have no idea, but half demons are extremely rare.

From what he’s read, most half-human half-demon offspring don’t survive past birth and all documented cases that have survived reside in the Devildom so that their powers can be better managed.

He asks you about this and you reply that you’re actually quite good at controlling your powers, but that you prefer living as a normal human.

He’s not upset that you didn’t tell him, but he has a billion questions.

How long is your lifespan? Do you take more after your demonic father or your human mother in terms of power?What are your weaknesses?

He really wants to learn more about human-demon hybrids and will ask you to help in his studies.

Also a bit excited as your father is well known for some for his knowledge and writing about the sciences. He wants to discuss some of it with you, assuming you’ve read what your father has written.*

Asmodeus

Oh he is so excited.

A bit relieved that his charm isn’t wearing off, it just doesn’t work because you’re the child of a demonic duke!

You know those boiling hot springs he talks about visiting? Well he’s happy to learn that you actually can join him without fear of your skin melting off!

He’s not upset that you didn’t tell him, getting mad over stuff like that can cause wrinkles.

He will absolutely want to help you groom your horns/wings/scales/tail.

He already has shown you a lot about demonic fashion trends, such as extra clothing that can be fitted around demonic extremities, but now he actually can actually have you try on some! Do you prefer gold tail bangles or jeweled horn cuffs?

Beelzebub

Relieved that Duke Vapula wasn’t looking for a fight.

He can’t help but smile a little when you hug your dad. It makes him happy that you love your family.

When you blush and tell him that it just slipped your mind to tell everyone about your heritage, he isn’t upset.

Happy that he doesn’t have to be so scared of accidentally hurting you with how strong he is.

If you’re able to safely eat some more demonic food, he will absolutely get you to try some of his favorite foods that normal humans would die upon eating.

Overall, you’re still the MC he has grown to love and doesn’t treat you too differently.

Belphegor

Is now more awake than he has been the entire evening.

Half demon? Nah this is just some dream.

Is understanding when you explain to him that you prefer being human and living as a human.

He’s happy he found out after making amends with you. He used to despise half-demons just as much as normal humans, seeing them as repulsive.

He still very much treats you the same, but is a bit annoyed with his brothers.

With knowledge of your demonic blood coming to light, they drag you out even more often and naps with you are becoming rarer.

If you get too overwhelmed with his brothers constantly wanting to try things they thought would previously kill you, he will be more than happy to lend you some of his hiding spots. He does charge the small fee of getting to take a nap with you though.

Diavolo

Similar to Lucifer, is shocked that he didn’t know before you came to the Devildom.

You aren’t the first half-demon he’s met, but he is surprised that a demon of Duke Vapula’s rank had a child with a human.

He’s actually very excited to learn that you’re a half-demon who is in more in touch with your human side. He feels a lot more relieved that you aren’t as defenseless as previously thought.

He does, however, make absolute sure that you have full control over your demonic powers. Every other half-demon lives in the Devildom for a reason and he can’t have someone who is technically one of his subjects accidentally cause mass destruction.

He invites you for tea more frequently, asking so many questions about how being raised in the human world as a half-demon was.

He likes to exchange stories with you about your younger years and the power fluxes you both struggled with as you grew.

Tells you that should you ever wish to live in the Devildom that he would be more than happy to make the needed arrangements.

Barbatos

He knew the whole time. When Diavolo asked him to look into the success of the program, he made note of your heritage right away.

However, he decided that keeping this information hidden when he saw that you were raised human and preferred to be seen as human.

When he explains this to everyone, you can’t help but feel thankful.

While some of the others make no effort to hide how annoyed this makes them, he doesn’t mind. He knows he made the right choice keeping this from everyone and doesn’t regret it at all.

Barbatos is actually a pretty good friend of your father’s and grew up with him. He actually met you when you were a baby because of this.*

Solomon

He has seen a lot in his years in the world of magic, but nothing like this.

Usually, half-demons were very easy to spot as they struggled to control their powers, but you practically had it down to an art!

You explain to him that you’re actually pretty good at keeping your powers under control. He’s rather impressed by this and will ask to see your spell work.

Thinks it’s a little funny that he has a pact with your dad.*

Like Satan, he wants to know all about you. Unlike Satan, he is going to actually conduct experiments instead of stick to interviews.

He has a new potion that he wants you to try almost every day now.

Can half-demons make pacts? If so, you have now been added to the list of demonic beings he wants to make a pact with.

Simeon

Very surprised considering he’s blessed you before.

Blessings aren’t supposed to work on anything of demonic nature so he’s baffled.

When you explain to him that you were raised human and prefer to live as human, he smiles.

He comes to the conclusion that you being a good person must be greater than the demonic blood in your veins.

He treats you the same overall, knowing that you’re still you no matter your heritage.

Luke

Absolute denial.

There is no way someone as nice as you is part demon! He refuses to believe it!

Gets upset and accuses you of trying to manipulate him, which you quickly deny.

When you explain to him that you prefer being human, he huffs.

Simeon gives him a bit of a talking to, about how you’re still the same MC who he sees as a big sibling.

He bakes you some apology cupcakes for being rude to you.

You sometimes shift form to mess around with him, it never fails to make him let out a shocked yelp before he snaps at you for picking on him.

Everyone (except Luke) thinks it’s funny tbh.

Author’s Notes:

*Duke Vapula is described as being able to bestow knowledge about all science contained in books.

*Barbatos is also a duke in The Goetia. I thought a fun nod to this would be to have them as friends.

*The Goetia talks about the 72 demons that King Solomon evoked. Vapula is one of the demons that he evoked. The game actually references this by talking about his 72 pacts. Asmodeus and Barbatos are both included in the 72 demons which is why he has pacts with both of them in the game :)

[rpd-rookie]

Scared of Love, Scared of Time - Leon S. Kennedy x Reader.

Author’s note: I made the reader as generic as possible for this one shot, as I instinctively tend to write fem!readers. I actually like how it turned out and I hope the attempt at poetic flourish (if we can call it that) is not too indigestible. 

Warning: None really. It’s just angst and fluff. 

          “Up until I was 25, I thought the only response to ‘I love you’ was ‘Oh crap!’” Chandler Bing said this. Yes, you read right. Chandler Bing, the famous Friends character, the one who’s always lame with women and makes sardonic jokes. Funny how a quote from a fictional character can perfectly sum up your love life.

           Eyes still widened in shock and disbelief, you were still staring at Leon who was staring back at you with a growing unease, waiting for an answer. Come on Y/N, say something. “Holy shit.” Seriously? Not the best answer you could have given him.           And with that terrible response came awkwardness. It settled with you and Leon at the table of the cosy little restaurant you were having dinner in and put all its weight on both your shoulders, rendering the moment oppressive and more than uncomfortable.   “Not what I expected.” Leon admitted as he let go of your hand. His ego was bruised but not as much as his heart. You could tell just by the way he was avoiding eye contact, teeth slightly gritted in a sort of sneer weirdly stretching his handsome features in a grimace. He was certainly regretting his confession and you couldn’t blame him. But come on, who says ‘I love you’ after a month of relationship?!         “Leon…” He waved you to shut up with a sad smile but it wasn’t rude. He just didn’t want your pity right now. “No, I get it, Y/N. You’re not ready and I’m taking things way too quick as I always do. Forget what I just said. It was nothing.” Lies. It was not nothing. It was something truly important to him otherwise he would not have booked a table in this romantic restaurant and be forcing a smile while fidgeting under the table right now, looking for a way to get rid the burdening unease.       “ I just think that …” But he cut you short again. “No, really, baby. That’s fine. No need for you to justify yourself. What don’t you pick a dessert?” He said before peering at the menu, almost hiding his face behind it.

But you wanted to justify yourself. You wanted to tell him that, even if you wanted to, you couldn’t open your heart to him as easily and as beautifully as he could open his to you. You wanted to tell him you were scared, scared of love, scared of the intensity of your feelings for him, scared of how painful they could be when he was away from you and how overwhelming they were when he was with you.     You wanted to tell him you were scared to say those three words, scared of everything that would come with such a beautiful confession, scared to lay yourself bare, to appear vulnerable, scared that someone would one day take those feelings away and crush them along with your heart.     You were scared of making things real, finding refuge and comfort hidden in your armour, which was basically the only place where no one could hurt you, the only place were your fragile heart was safe. Yes, you wanted to tell him all that.

“I’m … I’m scared.” You whispered with certain difficulty, those three words being the only three words you could manage to say right now. And as the sudden lump in your throat made you realised how hard it was for you to simply mouth your fear, you understood that confessing your love for Leon was certainly something you would sadly never be able to do.         “Scared of what? My love for you?” You shook your head and pinched the bridge of your nose, feeling a small tear forming in the corner of your eyes. You quickly blinked to make it go away before it could fall or be noticed. But you were dating the most competent agent America could have ever got. With him, nothing could go unnoticed. “Hey.” Leon grabbed your hand again and your eyes met the tender blueness of his eyes. Inside them, there was no bitterness, no resentment, just sweetness and compassion. “I just need time.” You admitted.

           And he gave you time, all the time you wanted, all the time you needed despite his permanent fear of not being able to live another day each time he was leaving for work.     You were not like him. You were not sharing the same recklessness or the same hedonism. You were not one to enjoy every second as if they could be your last, not one to see how limited time actually was. After all, how could you? You had not been through what he had been through to do so. You had not experienced all the horrors he had seen, had not yet realised how the clock of life could stop at any moment and how death could come knock at your door at any minute.     You were not living in the same world as him, not seeing the world as dark and as hopeless as him, not seeing how it was permanently on the verge of crumbling like a sand castle and always ready to take away everything and everyone you ever loved in its fall.         But he didn’t mind. He envied you for that. After all, he also wanted to believe he had all the time in the world to be able to actually take his time.

           But then, what should have been a lovely morning happened. The smell of freshly baked pancakes and hot coffee was floating in the kitchen as the sun was slowly rising and entering the apartment through the patio door. You were home, lazily dressed in a night gown, still a bit sleepy but waiting for Leon to come back from a simple bodyguard mission in Tall Oaks where he had escorted President Benford to give a speech at Ivy University. Nothing extraordinary and nothing potentially life-threatening. His words exactly.     Guess he was wrong.     “The White House informed us last night that a wild biohazardous outbreak infected the population of Tall Oaks, resulting in more than 70 000 casualties including President Adam Benford.” Your mug of hot coffee escaped your hand and crashed onto the floor. Petrified, you could feel your heart pounding loudly in your chest and in your ears. This couldn’t be. “This resulted in the immediate sterilisation of the city in order to eradicate the virus, a military operation that surely remind us of the Raccoon City incident of 1998.” You held on to the kitchen table to provide yourself from falling to the ground. You couldn’t breathe anymore, the air not being able to leave your lungs anymore as a stream of mournful dreary thoughts was drowning you. They ultimately escaped under the shape of tears and loud sobs and moans that made you collapse on the floor. This couldn’t be. You kept repeating to yourself. If something had happened to Leon, someone would have told you. Hunnigan would have called. He was alright. He had to be.            

You managed to blindly seize your phone on the table and dialled Leon’s office. Surely, the DSO would know more about all this and be able to comfort you. At least that’s what you hoped. “Come on. Answer damn it!” You cursed, tears streaming down your face. “ Leon Scott Kennedy’s office, how can I help you?” The voice was calm and professional but you managed to discern an ounce of sadness in it that immediately alarmed you more than you already were.   “ Hello, it’s Y/N, Leon’s …” You weren’t able to finish the sentence too impatient to know how Leon was doing. “Is he here? Is he alright? I’ve seen the news and…”   “Oh my God, Y/N. I thought Agent Hunnigan had called you.” That didn’t sound good and you leaned against the table leg without realising it, unconsciously expecting the bad news, feeling your small gleam of hope slowly dimming. “Leon is dead.”  

           Nothing else mattered. Time had just stopped the second the sentence was over and your heart had been pulled away from your rib cage along with it. And the pain was excruciating, like a thousand blades piercing your chest.  What now? What were you gonna do without Leon in your life? You found yourself unable to answer that question. There was no future now. Nothing. Just void.

Your tears flowed and flowed, a never-ending flood of liquid pearls falling along your cheeks as you were crying your eyes out, begging anyone to bring Leon back to you. There were so many things you didn’t have time to do, so many things you didn’t have time to say. You wished you could go back to yesterday morning, when you were nestled in his strong arms, head over his naked chest. You wished you knew back then that you would never see him again. It would have changed everything and there would be no remorse. You would have prevent him from leaving or at least would have lingered over his face trying to carve each perfect little details of his features in your brain just to be able to forever remember them. You would have said you loved him.  

A jingling in the door lock made you jump, and you looked up still on the floor, face and eyes reddened by your cries, your kneels against your chest. You didn’t really think about who could be entering your home and why and just waited for them to find you. “Y/N?” You quickly knelt, eyes widened. That voice. “Leon?” You whispered, relief warming your body.       “Baby, you’re here?” You hopped up and ran towards the door, not caring if this was a dream or some fucked up hallucinations. As long as you could see him, that’s all that mattered.

And he was there, standing in the corridor, a duffle bag at his feet. Unscathed and especially alive. “Leon!” You rushed towards him to hold him, touching his whole body with your trembling hands to make sure he was real. “You’re alive. You’re alive.” You repeated, your tears finding their way out of your eyes again as you strongly pecked Leon’s soft lips over and over, hands cupping his neck. “Yes. I’m fine. I’m safe” He managed to say before you cradled yourself against him to embrace him as tightly as you could. “I was scared, so scared. I thought you were dead. They told me you were and …” You breathed in his chest, his smell being the only thing was wanted to breathe right now. “But I told Hunnigan not …” He tried to explain.         “I called your office.” Leon briefly shut his eyes, mentally cursing himself as he dared imagine how worried and devastated you certainly had been when his secretary had announced you his death. “I asked Hunnigan to fake my death.” You frowned. What the hell was going on? “Long story.” He caressed your humid cheek, wiping your tears away. “But don’t worry. Everything is under control. But I have to go to China.”         “No.” You dared to whisper your disagreement for the first time, refusing to let him go, and your fingers tightened even more around the nape of his neck. “I have to, baby. I have to” You shut Leon up with a new kiss that you secretly wished would make him stay. “I’ll come back. I promise.” He smiled to reassure you, his forehead lightly pressed against yours. “I love you, baby.”           “I love you too.” You murmured back, feeling like a weight lifted off your chest as you offered him your heart without condition or fear.

A joyful wide smile stretched Leon’s tired features and his eyes started gleaming in happiness. You had finally said it. After so long. And it was beautiful. It warmed his heart and drowned it in exhilarating bliss as he played back the words in his head. His lips met your forehead and lingered there while his calloused fingers tangled in your hair. “My angel.” He said and you pressed yourself closer against him, looking for safety in his arms. But Leon was in a hurry. He grabbed your chin in between his thumb and index, forcing your to look at him in the eye. “Stay safe, alright? And remember, in the eyes of the government I’m dead.” You nodded, the remnants of your tears shining in your eyes and he kissed you one last time.           Then,   he reluctantly let go you and grabbed his bag on his way out, watching you one last time bathed by the sunlight in the middle of the corridor. “I’ll be back before you realise I’m gone.” Unlikely but you gave him a faint smile anyway.

And then he closed the door behind him. The lock banged in the frame the same way his heart banged in his chest as a sudden atrocious weight dropped heavily on his chest.     So that’s what being loved in return felt like? Like a permanent pressure, a painful yet intoxicating force constantly crushing your heart in fear that you might possibly break the one you love if you happen to fail them. God, how terrible it was and yet how exquisite.   Tears formed in Leon’s blue eyes and he glanced back at the door for a second, burdened with the most frightening task he had ever received, protecting your heart at all costs.  

And while you stood still behind that same door, terrified to never be able to spend time with Leon again, the man of your life was leaving, scared of love for the first time in his life.  

[miss-noo-na]

Vos Anima Mea (Chapter 10 - END)

Title: Vos Anima Mea

Genre: Vampire AU

Rating: R - Mentions of blood and violence in this chapter.

Note: Holy shit you guys its done! Thank you for sticking with me and being patient as I finished this up. I hope you like it!

* See Masterlist for additional chapters

It was a crazy idea, and the thought of Kihyun being put in harm’s way made your stomach hurt. But, you knew he was strong and persistent.

He gathered some names and addresses from Victoria’s records and made a few phone calls under the guise of a business deal. Mentioning who his father was got him a long way, and a meeting was set up. You begged and pleaded with Kihyun to let you go, and it was a firm “no” for about a week. Then he relented a little and said maybe you could wait in the car. Finally you convinced him that it would look less threatening if he had a girl on his arm.

“The first sign of trouble, I want you to get out of there, okay?” He said firmly.

“Yeah, of course.” You shrugged.

“Look at me.”

You sighed and turned to him, not thinking it would make a difference, but when you locked eyes you felt frozen.

“You promise?” He asked steadily and you nodded, then you felt your body relax.

“Are you doing that?” You asked in an accusatory tone. “Controlling my body?”

“Yes, I am.” He answered nonchalantly. He had done it to you once before, but back then you were too nervous and put out to ask about it, chalking it up to your imagination.

“I don’t do it often, it's rude.” He said, and you actually had to laugh at that. Leave it to Kihyun to consider supernatural hypnotism rude. 

“Are you going to use that tonight?”

He stopped as if thinking about it. “I mean, I guess I could.”

You shook your head at him. “Those powers are really wasted on you, aren’t they?”

He squinted his eyes at you and suppressed the urge to smile.

“Keep up the smart remarks and I’ll do it again.”

The way his voice got a little lower when he said that made you tingle all over, and you dropped the subject, not needing to be distracted by dirty thoughts right now.

The sun was coming up soon and you both needed your rest for the big night. Though mortal, the gangsters were well acquainted with vampires and knew to set up the meeting at an appropriately dark hour. When you both rose from sleep, you started to get dressed.

One thing you hadn’t expected, but now made complete sense, was how Kihyun spoiled you. Even if you mentioned something in passing on a whim, he’d find a way to get it to you. He also insisted on buying you new clothes, since you had left so many behind at your place. You offered to go and retrieve them, but he dismissed the idea, telling you he could get you whatever you needed. You expected a trip to Walmart, and were taken aback when he drove you to a designers home in the middle of the night, to fit and measure you for a completely new wardrobe. You felt incredibly uncomfortable with the idea at first, but started to ease up with Kihyun’s encouragement. You told her what you liked, what felt comfortable, the styles you preferred, and she delivered it to you within a week. 

That said, you knew you had to pick something for tonight that would scream “possible wife of a vampire investor.” 

You stood in the walk-in closet thinking way too hard about it. Kihyun came in after he hadn’t seen you in awhile, and he was already dressed. Of course,  he looked amazing and dapper.

“You still haven’t picked anything?” He asked, fastening his cuff links and you stared for a moment, before blinking yourself out of it. Again, now wasn’t the time.

“No, not yet. I’m a little nervous and I can’t think straight.” You confessed, biting your lip as you stared back at the clothing.

“Maybe you should stay home then?” He offered, and you knew what he was doing and shot him a glare.

“There’s no way I’m letting you do this alone.” You said, before blindly reaching up and yanking the first dress you touched off the rack. To your surprise it wasn’t bad, a navy blue dress with an A-line skirt and quarter sleeves.

“Perfect.” Kihyun smiled at you, and you felt a little better as you got ready. However, the drive over to the seedy part of town didn’t help your nerves at all. Kihyun abandoned the idea of a driver tonight, electing to take one of his cars out for himself, assuming it would look better. 

What you pulled up to was a restaurant inside an old stone building. The lighting was garishly yellow and gave everything a sickly pale tone. It was thick with smoke from patrons who all cast a sideways glance at you as you entered. Kihyun spoke low to the host, who directed you to a staircase.

Upstairs wasn’t much better, it smelled of must and cigarettes and inside the room was a table full of men playing cards. When the two of you entered, the one at the center shooed most of them away, but a few stayed behind.

The man had a sallow face and a visible scar on his throat, but he was dressed well. He shook hands with Kihyun and introduced himself as Luke, before turning to kiss your hand. It made you incredibly uneasy, but you had to go along with it. He paused afterward, holding your hand for a moment.

“A human?” He asked Kihyun and not you, as if he himself weren’t mortal.

Kihyun cast you a glance before looking back at Luke. “She is. Is that a problem?”

Luke laughed and pat Kihyun on the shoulder. “Nah, just surprised is all. Snatched yourself up a live one, eh?”

He nudged Kihyun with his elbow as if he was supposed to know what that meant, and Kihyun forced a laugh in return.

You were invited to sit at the table opposite him, and a woman appeared not long after to serve you drinks. Luke insisted you have a dry martini, because you “looked like the type”, even though you weren’t. However, you weren’t going to argue and accepted it graciously. In fact, you were glad you were given something strong, and sucked it down with a grimace. You needed the courage to get through this night.

“The old man talks about you a lot.” Luke said, shuffling a deck of cards mindlessly.

“I’m sure he does.” Kihyun replied.

“I didn’t think I’d ever lay eyes on you. He was always going on about how you were going to take over, but I didn’t believe it, he seemed delusional.”

Kihyun smirked. “Well he was half-right.”

Luke looked up and stopped shuffling. “Is that right?’

“I do plan on taking over, but not in his succession.”

A devious smile curled over Luke’s thin mouth. “You’re going to other-throw the king?” He asked, and you were surprised Luke knew so much for a mortal.

“Not without help.”

The way Luke laughed made your body cringe. 

“So you came here looking for dirt?” Luke said as he leaned forward, and now your entire body felt strained as you dug your fingers into your own thighs, swallowing as you watched him.

“There are a lot of things you can say about me,” Luke started in a quieter tone, leaning across the small table, getting dangerously close to Kihyun’s face.

“And out of all of them,  a snitch ain't one.”

You cast your eyes carefully over to Kihyun, but instead of fear or apprehension he only smiled, and you saw his eyes burn black. He looked so different from this angle, and it didn’t take you long to catch on.

“I’m not asking you to snitch,” He said, and Luke hovered over the table, the harsh lines in his face slowly relaxing. The other men in the room could sense the tension but also looked at each other in confusion, not sure what they were witnessing.

“I’m asking you to provide me with the information I should have rightful access to, as the new king.”

You relaxed, and his strong words sent a shiver through you. It was the display of utter power you knew he was capable of, and it was as exciting as it was terrifying. In this moment, he could make Luke do anything he wanted.

Luke swallowed and when he spoke, his voice was faint with a hint of fear. “What do you need?”

“Anything that will prove my father is the scumbag we all know he is.”

You almost laughed at that, raising your hand to conceal your smile, especially because you could tell Kihyun might actually be having fun with this.

“Give me a few weeks and-”

“No.”

Kihyun cut him off firmly and the deep tone of his voice startled you.

“A few days?”

“That’s better.”

All at once it was as if Luke was released and he fell back into his chair, almost like he’d been pushed.

Kihyun stood and brushed his hands down his suit. “I’ll be in contact,” He nodded, then turned to you and smiled as he offered a hand. You took it and he pulled you up from the chair.

The men hung back and watched you exit, and no one followed. You could hardly contain yourself on the way out, and once you were in the car you leapt across the center console and threw your arms around him.

“You were amazing!” You gushed, and pressed a kiss onto his temple. He laughed and gently grasped your arms, pulling them down. 

“You think?” He asked, unsure of himself.

“Are you kidding? You had everyone in there wrapped around your finger.”

“Truthfully, I was a little afraid.”

“So was I.” You breathed, and he reached up to stroke some hair back from your cheek.

“I wouldn’t have let anything happen to you.”

You raised your hand to his, keeping it in place and laying your cheek against his palm for a moment. “I know.”

Luke kept his word, and within 3 days he was faxing over document after document. You were surprised that criminals kept documents, it seemed dangerous, but Kihyun explained they had to keep their affairs in order as well, they were just a lot more secretive about who got to see them. 

Every new piece of information that was uncovered made Kihyun’s smile grow wider and wider, and you knew he was getting what he needed. It laid out all the missing pieces, and fully proved how unfit  his father was for his position. 

“I’ll go to the high courts first thing Monday, but I need to spend the rest of the weekend getting everything in order. Victoria has agreed to testify, everything is going exactly as it should.” He said, but when he looked up at you his smile started to fade.

“What’s wrong? You asked, and Kihyun’s arms dropped to his sides.

“I hate to pressure you, but you know there is one last thing.”

You swallowed and nodded, knowing exactly what he meant. 

“I know, and you’ll have your answer soon.” You assured him. You should have just told him then and there what was in your heart, but you had to be absolutely sure. This would alter the course of the rest of your life.

You closed the gap between you and touched his shoulder. “Thank you for being patient.”

“Of course,” He said softly, and you knew he would have waited for a 100 years if you asked him to.

You tried to stay out of his hair the next 2 days while he gathered all his evidence, helping where you could, and all the while mulling over your decision. 

Sunday night, you sat perched on the couch with a cup of tea, while Kihyun shuffled through his paperwork in his office, leaving the door open so you could pop in on him and ask how he was occasionally. He said he liked the breaks from monotony and it kept him from getting too stressed. 

A light wrapping sound on the apartment door took you out of your relaxed reverie, and you instantly felt a knot in your stomach. No one ever knocked, they had to get passed the doorman first and usually he would call up in the event of a visitor. 

Kihyun was so consumed in his work it didn’t seem he even heard it, so you stood and made your way toward the door, peering into the peephole. What you saw made you recoil.

“Kihy-” You started to call out for him, but couldn’t even get your words out before the door was violently broken open, slamming back against the wall and sending you tumbling back as well. As you caught yourself and got to your feet, Kihyun was already there, placing himself in front of you.

You peered over his shoulder, your entire body shaking. You locked eyes with his father and the man smiled.

“What are you doing here?” Kihyun asked in a firm, deep voice, almost growling. You latched onto his shoulder both for leverage and because you were simply terrified. His body felt completely hard and still under your hand.

“You think you could overthrow me and me not even know?” He laughed, then just as soon stopped and let his features set into a hard scowl. “I gave you a choice when I let you leave last time, and you chose wrong.”

“You didn’t give me a choice, you gave me an ultimatum.”

“Dear boy, still so unreasonable,” He took a step forward and Kihyun instinctively moved his arm to cover you, pushing you back even further behind him.

“Top drawer,” He said quietly over his shoulder toward you, and you didn’t quite catch it at first, your brain a trembling mess. 

“What?”

“Top. Drawer.”

Kihyun was not stupid enough to think his father might not try to come after you again, and he had told you that if anything happened, you were to take the key from his desk and open the top drawer on the left and take out what it held inside. He said you didn’t need to worry about what was inside unless it came to that.

You glanced at his father, then him, before scurrying toward the office. You heard the shuffling as his father advanced forward to stop you, but Kihyun seemed to catch him, if the thud of bodies from behind you was any indication. You didn’t want to look back to see.

You pulled the office door closed behind you and locked it, just like he instructed, even though it killed you to  leave him out there alone. Yet, it wasn’t as if you were going to be any help in a fight.

Your hands were shaking so badly that you fumbled getting the key and dropped it twice while trying to open the drawer. Once you finally pulled it open, you reached inside and picked up a pair of light-weight, golden handcuffs. They were engraved with some kind of unknown language and for a moment you were mesmerized by the shine and the intricacy of the lettering, then you wondered how such a measly pair of restraints was going to do you any good.

A crashing from the living room jolted you out of your trance and you jumped to your feet, rushing to open the office door with the handcuffs, but slowing down and acting more cautiously as you pulled the door open. You peeked out just in time to see Kihyun’s father slam him into the ground with one hand, and the sight startled you, making you gasp.

The sound caught the old man’s attention and he looked up at you. Before you could even think about closing the door, he was there in a flash, shoving it open and pushing you back in the process.

“What do we have here?” He asked with a sinister drawl, glancing down at the shiny metal in your hands, then he laughed.

“My son, using magick against his own father, how cruel.” He said mockingly. “Hand them over, girl.”

You shook your head, backing up into the desk in the process.

The man let out an exasperated sigh and advanced on you quickly, and before you knew it the cuffs were hitting the floor and he had your arms behind your back. He started to march you out of the office and even as you tried to use every ounce of willpower to fight back, your body could barely move under his control.

He walked you past Kihyun, who was just barely pulling himself up off the floor. He was in bad shape and he had hit the ground so hard it splintered the wood flooring underneath him. You wanted to cry out for him, but whatever hold his father had over you was much more than physical, and you couldn’t make much noise besides a few whimpers and strained cries.

You felt like your lungs were going to burst once you saw where he was taking you, forcing you towards the balcony. Kihyun had caught on, too and you heard him yell out obscenities at his father as he tried to stagger to his feet, only to stumble again.

His father’s hand was now encircling your throat, and he forced your upper body over the edge of the balcony. You had enough strength to claw at his arm, but it wasn’t doing much, and slowly you were coming up off your feet.

This is it, this is how I die, you thought to yourself, and tears started to sting at the back of your eyes, blurring your vision, which was focusing through the doorway to a battered Kihyun. Somehow he lifted his head in time to watch your eyes, and you tried everything in your power to convey your thoughts to him. You couldn’t speak, but you could think, and you told him everything. Things he already knew, and the things he didn’t. You rushed through as many thoughts as you could in such a small time frame, barely aware that his father was speaking. You caught pieces of it, the same sneering monologue about how Kihyun could have been great, could have been the second greatest king if it weren’t for the girl. 

His grip on our windpipe was making it hard to keep your eyes open, and even as your vision blurred to black and his awful voice tried to invade your mind, you made sure you focused on Kihyun.  

I don’t regret any of it. I love you. 

You repeated the last part like a mantra, it was the only thing to distract you from the pain and the impending doom. But just as quickly as the darkness filled in around you, your eyes snapped open as your feet connected with the ground and you sucked in a heaving breath, making a choked sound through your lungs. You fell to your knees on the balcony and began to cough violently.

You blinked through the tears in your eyes and looked up, to see Kihyun had not only managed to his feet, but had taken his father by the back of his neck and slammed him face-first into the ground, hovering over him with blood staining the edge of his mouth and a wild look in his eyes. He picked him back up by his neck and slammed him down again, and you looked away at the god-awful sound it made as his face cracked against the floor.

When Kihyun was satisfied that the man was incapacitated, he staggered to the office and came back with the cuffs. He fell heavily to his father’s body, and forced his hands into the metal. The cuffs glowed yellow for a moment, red searing over the lettering, and then fading out. You would have to ask him about that later, but right now you had other things to deal with.

 You pushed yourself up on your knees and attempted to stand, but you were dizzy from lack of oxygen still and fell back down. Kihyun, weak as he was, found his way over to you.

“Don’t get up.” He said, coming down onto the ground next to you.

He wrapped an arm around you, all he could do at this point, and pulled you into his chest. You nuzzled your cheek against it, but couldn’t help but look at his father, as if he was going to jump up at any moment, even as he lay in a pool of his own blood.

“Is he...alive?”

“Unfortunately,” Kihyun said, then nodded to the handcuffs, “He’s not going anywhere with those on.”

You trusted him, and after a long moment you were both able to rise with each other’s help. You went to the couch while Kihyun retrieved his phone and made what sounded like an important call. 20 minutes later, a barrage of men in black clothing showed up to carry his father away, and one in a suit spoke with Kihyun for a moment as he sat next to you on the couch. He was regaining his strength quickly, but he was still going to need some time. 

You, on the other hand, were mortal and completely exhausted from the ordeal. Your throat hurt from the strangling and Kihyun encouraged you not to speak too much. Your entire body felt sore and you had a massive migraine.

Just as the men were finishing up some paperwork and heading out, you were shocked to see Victoria come through the ruined doorway. She glided over elegantly, but in a rush with panic on her face.

“I came as soon as I could.” She said, coming over to where you sat. You thought she might go to Kihyun, but you were taken aback when she came to you, taking your hands in hers, brushing your hair back, tsking her tongue like a worried mother.

“I told you that you didn’t need to.” Kihyun said, but you could tell he was trying to hide a relieved smile.

“Don’t be absurd, Kihyun. I told you I would be there for you and I’m here. Oh and this one, look at her, she’s a wreck! You mortals are so fragile, what are we going to do?”

The concerned pitch in her voice and her cold, gentle hands were actually making you feel better, and you even wanted to laugh a little, peering at Kihyun from the corner of your eyes who had the same tired but amused look.

“And this apartment!” She stood and swept her arm over the expanse of the place, which really gave you a moment to take it in. The front door was destroyed, as well as the wall behind it. There were indentations and cracked wood on the floors, scuffs on the walls, and part of the balcony door had shattered when Kihyun went after his father. it was going to take some serious repairs. 

“You two are coming home with me.” Victoria said, and stopped Kihyun with a hand before he could even speak. “I don’t want to hear another word,”

“We’ll be fine, Victoria.” He sighed,

“Maybe you will, but your little dove needs time to heal.”

You blushed deeply at her words, snapping to look at Kihyun. “You told her about that?” You spoke though your voice was hoarse.

“Besides, you can’t relax in this atrocious apartment until its cleaned up. Come now, gather what you can, we’ll get the rest later.” She fluttered her hands in your direction and started for the door, letting her driver know they would be having guests.

“Are you okay with this?” Kihyun turned to you to ask, and you nodded. Even if his father was safely put away for the time being, you didn’t feel very comfortable being here after what transpired.

An hour or so later you were in Victoria’s home, and you almost forgot how much you loved it. She set you up in a guest room with no windows, but a beautiful painting of the seaside above the bed. She brought you something to eat and supplied Kihyun with fresh blood, and part of you wondered why she was being so kind. 

“Victoria, you’ve done enough already.” Kihyun said as she made plans for her chauffeur to take them to court tomorrow. Kihyun would be mostly healed by tomorrow night after a good rest, and he fully intended on seeing this trial through.

“Hush,” She said, then stopped to look at him, back at you, and then back to him again. “Kihyun I never got to properly thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I may have stayed within the family longer than I should have, but you opened up my mind and heart in a way no one else could have. It’s because of you I have the ability to live the way I do now, and I want to see you find that same happiness.”

You felt a swell of adoration for Victoria, watching them talk from where you sat on the bed. Kihyun was sheepish, but you could tell he appreciated the sentiment.

“Now get some rest, you have a big day tomorrow,” She said, then glanced back at you again. “Same goes for you, I’ll make sure you’re well taken care of while Kihyun is gone.” She nodded.

“Thank you Victoria, for everything.” You said, and she gave a dismissive wave before leaving you alone.

You went about your routine in silence before you both settled into bed, facing one another as if it were planned. There was one bedside lamp on, giving the room a copper glow that felt cozy.

Kihyun reached out and trailed his fingers lightly over your neck. “Does it hurt? You’re starting to bruise.”

“it’s tender, but nothing I can’t handle.”

He chuckled and nodded once, “Good.”

There was silence, and you wondered if now was a good time, but you had to know.

“What happened?”

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean one minute you were on the ground hurt, and the next you were beating the shit out of your father.”

He couldn’t help but laugh at that one, then quieted down and seemed to get serious.

“I’m not sure if you’ll believe me.”

“Try me.”

He sighed and took a moment to gather his thoughts before speaking again. “I felt so helpless seeing what he was doing to you, but then all of a sudden it was like something cut through the fog. I could hear your voice in my head, yet you weren’t saying anything out loud. The louder you got, the more compelled I felt. It was like I was able to gather all my strength at once. I must have been running off pure adrenaline.”

Your bottom lip quivered hearing his words, and you pulled it under your teeth to try and stop it. He saw the glossy look in your eyes and stopped speaking.

“What’s wrong?”

“You heard me?’ You asked wearily, and his eyes widened.

“So that was you?”

“I couldn’t speak but I was just saying all these things in my head, hoping you could hear me somehow and-” You rushed out in one breath before stopping to suck in a shaky sob. 

Kihyun cradled your face and gently shushed you, leaning in to plant a kiss on your lips. “Hey, it’s okay.”

You tried to breathe deep and regain your composure, overwhelmed by the events of the past few hours, all of it hitting you at once with this revelation.

“I’ve been able to see into people a little bit when I glamour them, but nothing like that, never just hearing their thoughts so plainly.” Kihyun explained, stroking your hair in a comforting motion.

“Can I….say something?” He asked then, and you nodded, wiping away stray tears.

“I love you, too.”

You felt your body go hot at his words, a warm wave of peace washing over you. He had heard that part, too. 

You pushed yourself closer, pressing your face into his chest and inhaling. He wrapped his arms around your back and pulled you close, and you laid like that in silence, his hands stroking you until you fell asleep. 

You weren’t asleep long before you had a terrible nightmare about Kihyun’s father coming back and killing him, and woke up in a cold sweat, panting, Kihyun at your side asking if you were alright.

“It’s just a dream.” He told you over and over again until you relaxed back down in his arms to be held once more.

“Kihyun,” You whispered into the dark of the room after a few minutes.

“Hmm?” He asked, his eyes closed already, obviously tired.

“I want you to change me.”

His eyes shot open and he pulled back to look at you.

“Are you sure?”

“I’ve thought about it for a long time, and deep down the answer has always been yes, but I was too afraid to say it. But, after everything, I know for sure now.”

“You won’t have your old life anymore, you know that, right?” He asked, and you suppressed the urge to laugh. Did he really think after all this time you hadn't gone through every possible scenario?

“I already gave that all up, and I don’t miss any of it. I’m here, I’m yours.”

He let out a held breath and pulled you closer.

“If you’re absolutely sure-” He stopped himself from doubting you anymore and continued, “We have to wait until you’re fully healed, it's a strenuous process.”

“I’ll be ready.”

When you awoke hours later, Kihyun was getting ready for the trial, already healed from his battle wounds. You watched from the bed, somehow even more tired than when you had gone to sleep.  He looked handsome in his black suit.

“You’re going to do great.” You assured him, watching him fuss over his tie in the mirror.

“I’ll let you know as soon as its over.” He said, walking over to kiss the top of your head before giving you a little wave from the door. 

Victoria had insisted you stay in bed, and you couldn’t argue with that. Your neck was fully bruised now and the rest of your body felt like you had been hit by a bus. Since they were at the trial, her servants had come to wait on you, and it felt awkward at first, but over the course of the night you came to appreciate their attentiveness and care, because you needed it.

Your stomach was all up in knots about the trial, and you checked your phone obsessively over the course of 4 hours. Finally, Kihyun texted you one simple sentence.

“We did it.”

You could almost burst from joy, not that you ever doubted it. Especially with his father’s most recent behavior, the courts had to see how unfit he was, and how capable Kihyun would be. 

When Kihyun got home, he came straight into the bedroom, lifted you out of the bed, and kissed you hard.

“Be gentle!” Victoria called from the hall, still worried about your frail mortal body, as she put it. You giggled against Kihyun’s mouth, not minding one bit.

“Did I just kiss a king?” You asked cheekily, and Kihyun laughed.

“You sure did, your majesty.” 

Your face fell as he eased you back down on the bed. “What was that?”

“Once I change you, you’ll be my queen. I mean, not that you aren’t already,” He teased, “But in the court’s eyes, it will be official.”

It was a lot to take in, and you wondered if you were fully prepared for all this. Then again, you had never been prepared for all that had happened lately and you seemed to be doing just fine.

Typically becoming king meant moving into the king’s quarters, but Kihyun didn’t think it would be wise to take you back to a place that had such horrid memories for you. Plus, he had no desire to inherit something his father had put so much hate and corruption into. He sold the estate off to another official in the higher ranks and purchased a renovated 3-story Victorian house downtown, close to all of his clubs.  He made sure one of the rooms was reserved for your studio. 

Through all the chaos and transitioning, you asked almost every day when he was going to change you. You healed through this time and were back to your usual self, but still he told you “soon”, and that he would know when. 

Kihyun was already laying the groundwork for all of the new changes he planned to bring to the vampiric world, and clean up the mess his father had left behind. He was busy, but he always made time for you. If he couldn’t, you would occupy yourself painting or hanging out with Samantha at the club that started it all. He had even let you take creative control over some of the stage productions, and it occupied a good chunk of your life now.

Finally, it came at a time you least expected. Just when you had stopped asking, he sprung it on you when you came home one evening.

“Tonight? Are you sure?” You asked.

“Why, did you change your mind?” He asked, half-teasing.

“Of course not!”

“Then come with me.”

He guided you to your bedroom and instructed you to change into something comfortable.

“It’s going to be a long night.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat and did as he instructed, watching as he did the same. He dimmed the lights and came to sit next to you on the bed.

“Are you nervous?” He took your hands into his, feeling them tremble. It reminded you of the first time he ever fed from you. 

“A little.”

“I’ll be right here the whole time.”

“So how does this work?”

“I drink from you, like I've done before, only this time when you get to that drained state, I nourish you with my own blood.” He explained, rolling his sleeves up. 

“Interesting.”

“Don’t ask me how it works, I just know you have to be at a certain high point in order for my blood to take its affect on you.”

“Will it hurt?”

He pursed his lips and hummed. “I can’t say for sure, I’ve never experienced it myself.”

“That’s comforting.” You scoffed, and he chuckled.

“It might be uncomfortable, but it won’t be unbearable. Besides, I know you’re strong, you can handle it.”

You felt a little bit of relief from his words.

“Now, come here,” he said softly, making a shiver run down your spine. You did as you always did, move your hair to one side and crane your neck toward him so he had access to the right spot. He knew your veins by now, it never took him long to pinpoint your pulsing blood, and he sank his teeth into it. You didn’t even flinch now, just closed your eyes and made a happy noise.

He drank from you, only this time taking more than he ever had. This time, you were hazy and dizzy before he even pulled away, like you were suddenly very drunk off good wine. Your eyelids fought to stay open and you swayed.

“Stay with me.” You heard his voice as he steadied you by the shoulders, and you nodded faintly.

You could see Kihyun lift his wrist to his own mouth, and when he pulled away, dark red blood ran down his arm. He cradled your head and brought it up to your mouth. When it touched your lips it was surprisingly ice cold, which shocked you out of the haze a little, and you began to drink. It was bitter at first, metallic and robust in flavor, but as it slid thick and sticky down your throat you began to enjoy it.

You suckled the wounds he’d made with your eyes closed, and he stroked the back of your head and whispered encouraging words. When he had felt like you had enough, he guided you onto the bed to lay on your back. The room was spinning something fierce, so you closed your eyes to find some control of it.

The swimming in your head was starting to scare you a little, and you reached out your hands and felt Kihyun take them and lay them down against your stomach.

“I’m here.”

He laid next to you and you tried to breathe deep to fight through the waves of nausea and vertigo. You almost drifted to sleep, when you were jarred out of it by a hot feeling running through your veins, like they were all on fire. Your body jolted and your eyes shot open.

“It burns.” You moaned, clenching your fists against his hands.

“I know, it’s normal.”

“How would you know?” You mumbled, a little aggravated, but Kihyun knew it was only because of the pain and he let it go with a small laugh.

It came over you in waves, like hot lava bubbling over the surface before breaking through the rock. Every time, your body would convulse on its own, and Kihyun would squeeze you a little tighter to him and help you through it. It lasted for hours, and you didn’t speak much, you were too out of it, but every now and then you would say something, like ask him how much longer or comment on a change you felt in your body. Kihyun was patient and spoke quietly, soothing you in every way he knew how.

Soon the sun would be coming up and the waves got shorter and less invasive. You actually started to relax and now you were getting sleepy. 

“I’m so proud of you.” Kihyun said, kissing your temple.

“Hmm?”

“Go to sleep.”

That was the last thing you remembered before you passed out.

When you awoke, you felt groggy, but good. Your body didn’t hurt anymore, in fact it felt better than it had in ages. No nagging back pain, no foggy morning headache, no aching limbs.When you pulled yourself to your feet and found the mirror, you were shocked at what you saw. It was you but...different. You were a little paler, but your eyes were brighter, and everything looked smooth and crease less. You pet your hair, softer than you ever remembered.

Kihyun walked in and stopped short, expecting to see you in bed.

“You’re up.” He smiled, then realized what you were doing.

“This is so strange.” You commented, not looking up at him, and he laughed.

“I don’t notice that much of a difference,” He shrugged. Of course he would say that.

“I hope I wasn’t too much trouble.” You said, now turning to him.

“Not at all, it was an honor, actually. How do you feel?”

“I feel great,”

“Good, we’re going to the club then. I want to celebrate with you.”

“Don’t you have work?”

“Work can wait.”

An hour later you were headed to the bar to see Samantha, who stared with wide, happy eyes when she saw you.

“You gorgeous creature of the night, you!” She gushed as she came around the bar to hug you, then pulled back to pet your hair and cup your chin.

“You make a beautiful bloodsucker, my dear.”

You laughed and looked away, embarrassed, and the two of you chatted, catching up since the last time you had been there. After awhile, she showed you to a private booth and brought you blood-tinged cocktails, which you enjoyed immensely.

As you took in the scenery, Kihyun close to your side, your mind wandered to how you got to this point. From being a silent observer, to a portrait painter, to so much more. It all seemed like a wild dream.

“I’m curious about something,” You said then, as a sudden memory gripped you.

“What’s that?” He asked, leaning close.

“When I first started painting you, you changed my passcode for the club. Anima mea, was it?”

Kihyun swallowed a drink of his cocktail and nodded, but he avoided your eyes.

“What does that mean? I know what the original passcode means, obviously, but not that one.”

Kihyun placed his drink down and cleared his throat. “It means...my soul.”

You blinked at him in confusion, and also felt your stomach do a little flip as a smile slowly took hold of your lips.

“Oh?”

“I mean when I first gave it to you, it had to do with the painting. You were capturing my soul.”

“Oh,” You responded, deflating at his explanation. 

“It did take on a new meaning for me after awhile, though.” He said then, and you waited for him to continue.

“You didn’t just capture my soul, you are my soul.” He said, then nervously looked away. Even after everything, he still got shy around you.

You lay your hand on top of his and leaned in to kiss him, closing your eyes tight as you conveyed through your thoughts alone that he was yours, too. He got the message loud and clear.

[flappingbrickwings]

Code zero

Hi friends! Holy shit, right? 

Based on the current state of my neck (i.e., seized up on one side like an engine without oil), I’m pretty sure my subconscious mind is spending all the time worrying about the both the short term (i.e., people we love might die) and long-term (i.e., every we know might be completely fucked) implications of this still-pretty-fucking-new new world order, and I imagine yours is too. But I’m finding great comfort in the stories from all over the world of people pulling together to help each other, as well as those of the “penguins touring the aquarium” variety. So rather than cracking another “I may never wear a bra again” joke or telling a “wow, turns out I’m really bad at second grade math” tale, here’s a completely unrelated story that involves me humiliating myself again (bonus points on this one for also traumatizing my closest friends) in the hopes that it might take your mind off things for a minute or two. Please enjoy.

Take yourself back to a simpler time: February 2020, when my primary concerns included how to get two kids to overlapping soccer games, whether to go to Din Tai Fung or Damon’s for dinner, and if I should invest in a new pair of checkered Vans or throw caution to the wind and buy the python print ones. My three best ladies and I had planned a much-needed spa day. Much-needed because, despite all our high hopes, 2020 had already not gotten off to a fantastic start (I know, I know), and because life is hard, and because we’re all busy (correction: we were all busy) and only get together sans hanger-oners (spouses, children, dogs) once or twice a year at most. So we blocked out a whole day, a Sunday to be precise, all to ourselves. 

For weeks, months possibly (maybe even years), our iMessage thread was peppered with excited variations of “Calgon, take me away!” followed by counting down the sleeps, until at last our day arrived.

We piled into my friend Allison’s car (actually her husband’s truck because her sister was in all seriousness almost fucking killed in a car accident two days before and her miraculous survival and minimal injury was attributed to her sturdy Toyota pickup – see previous comment re: 2020) at 9am, rolling in deep athleisurewear (Rebecca was particularly impressive in head to toe Adidas, prompting her 13 year-old son to ask her not to get out of the car when she dropped him off at baseball practice that morning - rude) and cackled our way out to the spa. Upon arrival we checked in and donned our squishy bathrobes. Robyn and I also downed a mimosa. We discussed, with some disdain, how we would definitely not be using the plastic phone case necklaces provided to all patrons, presumably to enable easy selfie-taking (i.e., free marketing for the spa). We would not, we assured each other, be taking any bathing suit selfies, thank you very much. Then we hit the pools, feverish with excitement at all the hours of unbridled relaxation that lay ahead of us. 

We squeezed into the mineral tubs first, where we rubbed elbows with fellow bathers for the prescribed 20 minutes. Then we walked casually (as casually as one can walk in one’s bathing suit) to the next pool, which was shaded and infused with epsom salts, apparently. It was also quite crowded. It was also, unbeknownst to me, the hottest pool on the grounds. We found a spot near the stairs and soaked in the heat and saline for a while, still babbling excitedly, planning our route for the day. Around the time we started discussing lunch (the text-thread plan that morning was to “fuck up some nachos” when we got there), I also started looking around for something cooler than shade, feeling like I was maybe getting a wee bit hot. We agreed to move on. 

As soon as I stood up and started heading for the stairs, I felt it. That cold tingling sensation in my spine followed by a blurring on the edges of my vision. I remember looking over at the lounge chairs where we’d left our stuff, which were probably about 15 feet away but felt to me at that moment a thousand miles out of my reach, and thinking to myself, “Just get to the chair and put your head between your legs.” My brain screamed, Be cool, bitch! I even managed to say to my friends, “I feel a little bit like I might pass out.” 

And then I passed the fuck out. On the concrete. In my bikini. In front of about 5,000 people.

The worst thing about fainting is that you wake up with no idea what’s going on, wondering how you managed to have an impromptu nap in whatever random location you happen to find yourself in. You may remember my tattoo shop incident a few years ago, which was equally humiliating. That time I woke up lying on a tattoo table vaguely confused about what was happening. 

This time, I woke up to complete pandemonium. 

I was in the vicinity of the lounge chair I’d been aiming for, but not on it. Rebecca and Robyn were propping me up by my neck and elbow (I think – there may have been a leg involved) while some guy named Brian, who I suspected was a cop but who turned out to be a particularly dedicated spa employee, threw cold water in my face. My friend Allison was running around in her bathrobe screaming, “A phone! A phone! I need a phone!” at anyone who would listen, while another spa employee with a radio kept saying, “Code zero!” and several unfamiliar women in bathing suits were shouting my name and some other things I couldn’t understand in my general direction. (These kindly bathers turned out to be nurses who had jumped out of the pool when I dropped, as my husband would say, like a bag of shit. Bless them.) 

My first thought was, “Wow, how did I fall asleep in all this excitement?” followed closely by, “Wow, what is all this excitement about?” And hot on the heels of that thought came the realization that - oh, hey, it’s me. Clearly, I hadn’t made it to the lounge chair in time. I almost fainted again when I heard someone nearby announce excitedly, “The paramedics are on their way!” Fortunately, Robyn’s alter ego, Reggie, took over at that point, holding her hands up and saying, in the manner of one totally in control of the situation and not, as she actually was, freaking the fuck out, “Hold on, hold on – she has a history of fainting. She does this. Let’s just give her a minute.” 

Moments later another spa employee rolled up with a wheelchair and I really thought I would die. As Brian, Rebecca, and Robyn, my “triangle of support,” discussed how to best transfer me to said wheelchair (sidenote: Rebecca later informed me that it turns out I weigh 250 lbs when unconscious), Robyn casually leaned down and said, in a voice so low not a soul but me could hear, “Wait, before you stand up – did you shit yourself?” 

Friends, friends. My wish for you is this: I hope you have someone (or three) in your life who, should you ever pass out in a crowded public place wearing only a bikini, will have the foresight to tell your to check yourself in case you wrecked yourself before you stand up in front of a gawking crowd. If you accomplish nothing else in life, let me tell you – this is something. 

I looked up at her, a little bewildered, and said, “I have no idea.” 

Spoiler alert: I didn’t shit myself. (Who says I have bad luck?) I was successfully transferred to the wheelchair. Someone (probably Brian) gave me two cups of cold water and told me to put my hands in them, which was surprisingly effective at waking me up. We were whisked off to the “medical room,” which turned out to be a closet housing an industrial ice machine, with an examination table and one folding chair. After reluctantly answering some questions (I was still convinced Brian was a cop – don’t ask me why, maybe lack of oxygen to the brain?), a giant plate of nachos appeared as if by magic and we were escorted via several wrong turns, which meant doubling back to pass curious spa-goers for the third or fourth time, to a small private dining area that was shady and quiet. Brian pushed the wheelchair, Robyn, Rebecca, and Allison followed, and the guy carrying the nachos brought up the rear.

Did I mention, this all took place within half on hour of our arrival? So yeah, kind of put a damper on the hours of unbridled relaxation. 2020 is really not fucking around. (Also, did I mention this is not the first time I fainted at a spa? Last time it was at Burke Williams in Hollywood and I was wearing a bathrobe with nothing underneath when I keeled over in the co-ed waiting room. No triangle of support.)

So, however worried you are about the current state of affairs, just remember – one day we’ll all be back out there in the world, standing within six feet other humans and being grateful we didn’t shit our pants in public. And if we’re lucky, being escorted by a plate of nachos.  

You’re welcome. 

My triangle of support - that day, and every day.

[hyuckles-chuckles]

a visual love (1) ✧ p. chanyeol

author: @hyuckles-chuckles

pairing: park chanyeol x fem!reader

other characters: byun baekhyun

genre: fluff (mentions of sex) • non-idol!au, college!au

rating: pg13

warning(s): swearing, mentions of sex

word count: 1.6k

summary: chanyeol is once again bored at his fraternity’s party. That fraternity being ΣΧΩ. while wallowing in his pity, he spots the most beautiful girl – but will he approach her is the question we’ve all been asking.

a/n: this story will be done in the third person *this is series will not continue for the time being, read if you want to*

masterlist in bio!

✧

“This party sucks,” Chanyeol quietly shouted into Baekhyun’s ear.

“Hey man,” Baekhyun replied to Chanyeol loudly in his ear, “that’s what you get for rushing with me.”

Chanyeol playfully shoved Baekhyun off of the chair he was sitting, a chair that was quickly taken by another student who was waiting patiently for a seat.

“I didn’t get to rush with you! You dragged me by my ears to rush with you on the first day of university!”

Baekhyun got up from the ground, then proceeded to sit on Chanyeol’s lap. Chanyeol just let it happen, Baekhyun was already tipsy and just wanted the comfort of touching someone.

“Oh Channie, you’re a very tall boy. You could’ve just shoved me away like you did just now – which was extremely rude by the way. But you didn’t. Because deep down you secretly wanted to rush into THE BEST FRAT HOUSE THIS UNIVERSE HAS EVER SEEN!” Baekhyun ended up screaming at the top of his lungs, which resulted with the people around him to cheer as well.

“I think you meant to say university instead of universe, but whatever. This party still sucks.”

“That’s because you’ve only had one drink since you got here. Why don’t I get you another?” And with that Baekhyun was gone, to the kitchen was his original destination but then he got distracted by the girls in the entry of the kitchen. This was typical Baekhyun.

After Chanyeol had met Baekhyun on their first day of university, he realized that Baekhyun loved attention, specifically attention from females.

When they both passed the embarrassing tasks to be a part of this fraternity, Sigma Chi Omega (also known as ΣΧΩ for the way the Greek letters are shaped), he started to get to know Baekhyun very well. Especially when he’d see Baekhyun balls deep in some random girl in the room they both shared.

It’s safe to say, Chanyeol and Baekhyun were best friends. But these best friends were completely different from each other. Where Chanyeol was relaxing in his room, Baekhyun was dancing in a club. Where Chanyeol’s major was film, Baekhyun’s major was music.Where Chanyeol was having one beer, Baekhyun had five.

Despite their differences, they were really good friends.

They also had a very good relationship due to their love for music, they just used it in different ways. Baekhyun would use his voice to express his love for music, whereas Chanyeol would use film and music to express his love for both parts of his life.

Not that Chanyeol wasn’t talented in the music department. He could play the piano, the guitar, the drums and he could also sing and rap. He just always wanted to work in film, to provide just the song for just the right scene. As music really brings those together.

Music is literally the only thing that brought Chanyeol and Baekhyun closer throughout their years of university. If not, Chanyeol would have beaten Baekhyun up and hung him in a tree.

But that didn’t matter. Not when Chanyeol was feeling bored at ΣΧΩ’s first party of the school year. This was annual, and it was one of the parties that every single member of the fraternity had to attend, parties like Hallowween, New Years (but this could be negotiated due to people being away) and the last day for the Seniors of that year, to celebrate the fact that they survived their four plus years at the university.

But Chanyeol couldn’t care less about the parties. His job at the fraternity was to film a part of all of the parties to advertise to get the first years to rush for them. The reason being so that ΣΧΩ wouldn’t have to hire an actual person to do it and waste their money when Chanyeol could do it for a small price. The rest of the ΣΧΩ members knew and trusted Chanyeol to make a good video to advertise their fraternity.

Then he was done, but he still had to stay at the compulsory parties. Which was dumb.

I could be doing something better, Chanyeol thought to himself. Then he lifted his head to see something – more like, someone – better to do.

He looked up to see a beautiful girl at the table full of drinks, talking with her friend who was pretty, but not as beautiful as the girl who caught his eye at first.

This girl was wearing white vans with cute white ankle socks. She wore black, skinny jeans which she paired with a white shirt that showed off her collarbones. She also wore an odd sky blue jacket, but the whole ensemble looked amazing.

Her makeup was very natural, which was refreshing to see in a girl, especially at the beginning of the school year. Her eyes sparkled in the dim lighting of the house. From this distance, her hair looked to be dyed a colour, like a red-chocolate colour, but Chanyeol wouldn’t be surprised if it was natural. Everything about her screamed original, everything she put off to the outside world is what Chanyeol wanted in a girl.

And her lips, don’t get Chanyeol started. He would just be happy to look at them. But he would be happier if he could kiss them, to make sure she was actually real and not a figment of his imagination. He could honestly kiss her lips all day long-

“Shit!” Chanyeol exclaimed as the girl he’s been staring at turned his way. He quickly ducked down, not caring if she saw him or not. She and her friend were probably laughing at him if she had seen him duck for cover. Chanyeol then made a beeline for Baekhyun, his only comfort in these parties.

Oh that sounded sad, Chanyeol thought as made his way to Baekhyun.

He walked to where he saw Baekhyun last, only to be startled when Baekhyun appeared from nowhere with two drinks in his hand.

“Holy shit! Baekhyun, you’re a tiny man. You can’t be creeping on people like that,” Chanyeol informed Baekhyun.

“I’m sorry about that but what the fuck are you doing?!” Baekhyun said in response to Chanyeol’s statement.

“What the fuck am I doing? I don’t know what you’re talking about, please explain.”

Baekhyun pushed a red cup into Chanyeol’s large hand. “You. Were staring. At a girl. She looked back at you. Then you run away. What the fuck is wrong with you Chan?! She’s a hot girl, who gave you – of all people – attention. She’s a gift sent from God himself to you, accept it.”

“First of all, why were you staring at me? Second of all, she was probably looking at me because I was staring at her like a freak. Third of all,” Chanyeol ended his sentence with punching Baekhyun in the arm.

“Ow!” Baekhyun shouted as he comforted his arm.

“First of all,” Baekhyun continued, “I stare at you because I love you and want to make sure you going to get laid at least once in your life. Second of all, she’s still looking over at you. Third of all, what the hell was that for?!”

Chanyeol didn’t care to listen to Baekhyun after he said that the beautiful girl who he stared intently at before, was also looking at him.

He whipped his head around to where she was last. She was indeed staring at him. She looked down when she saw Chanyeol giving her attention. Her friend, however, raised her hand and waved which Chanyeol reciprocated. This caused the beautiful girl to lift her hand wave to him as well.

“See! You two should hook up! You can use our room, I’ll just have sex in the shower or something,” Baekhyun said to Chanyeol.

“I’m not going to hook up with anybody you walking STD. Especially if it’s someone I could actually like. And Junmyeon told you to stop having sex in the- What are you doing?”

Before Chanyeol could finish what he was about to say, Baekhyun was dragging him towards the girl. “I don’t care if you hook up with her tonight, just get her number so you could potentially hook up in the future! And you’re taller than me so you can definitely back out if you want to!”

Chanyeol was debating whether or not he should whack Baekhyun over the head but now he was too close to back out. He was going to meet the girl of his dreams.

“Hi, I’m Baekhyun. Bye.” Then Chanyeol’s best friend was gone.

“Hi, I’m Minji. Nice to meet you tall guy. Bye.” Then she left. Thankfully Minji wasn’t the girl he’s been staring at.

The girl he’s been staring at stayed put and was looking off in the direction of her friend with hatred in her eyes for her friend, Minji as Chanyeol just met her, had just left her alone with the stranger she had been looking at for the past ten minutes.

“So much for friends, am I right?” She told Chanyeol, making some small talk to fill in the silence.

“Yeah,” Chanyeol laughed. “Sorry about Baekhyun, he’s just like that.”

“Sorry about Minji, she’s just like that.”

“Well, if we’re going to be left alone by our so-called-friends, I’m Chanyeol.” Then he lifted his hand in her direction, offering her to shake it.

Oh, Chanyeol! You’re a dumbass! Who shakes hands these day?!

Then she slowly lifted her hand to grab his, and she shook it. Her hand was so soft and he noticed that she wore a few rings – them all being black and silver.

“Hi Chanyeol, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m (Y/N).”

And isn’t it a coincedence that the beautiful girl had an equally beautiful name.

✧

© hyuckles-chuckles, 2018. Please don’t copy or repost without permission.

[ayearofpike]

The Immortal

Pocket Books, 1993 213 pages, 16 chapters + epilogue ISBN 0-671-74510-7 LOC: CPB Box no. 705 vol. 16 OCLC: 27434465 Released July 1, 1993 (per B&N)

Did you ever take a vacation because your best friend insisted that you had to? Josie Goodwin is. At the suggestion (or maybe insistence) of her oldest compatriot Helen Demeter, her family is spending two weeks on Mykonos in the Greek isles. Helen’s there too, and she has a lot to show Josie from her trip the previous summer, not the least of which is a sacred island with a plateau that has a mythical connection to Apollo. What Josie doesn’t know is her own connection to Apollo. But Helen does, and it’s a connection that calls for no less than cold vengeance.

I have distinct memories of reading this book on a summer vacation road trip with my dad. But aside from the fate of the main character, I found that I didn’t actually remember that much about this story. Revisited in 2018, this is some Percy Jackson shit. Like, not to the point where Rick Riordan owes Pike some money, but it definitely doubles down on the sex among gods, mortals, and monsters. It’s fitting that I read this one while reading The Sea of Monsters to my kids, because I was already in the Greek gods mode for it. Although enough people have written about Greek myth in modern times that I can’t say anyone is directly ripping anyone else, necessarily. Maybe they just have the same muse.

So, all right, where do I jump in? The beginning is as good a place as any, I suppose. We’re on a plane with Josie and Helen (who, by the way, maybe couldn’t have a more Americanized Greek name) as it descends into Athens. They’re traveling with Josie’s dad, a once-hot screenwriter who is currently struggling, and his current flame, a failed alcoholic actress. Josie wakes up knowing they’re close, with a sense of almost being home. Which is weird, right, because she’s never been to Greece before. Foreshadowey! WOOOOOO

They have to cab to a smaller airport and hop another plane to the island of Mykonos, which is their final destination. Helen can’t warn the Goodwins about the rudeness of Greek people enough, but Josie finds them very pleasant. She wonders if maybe it’s this difference in attitude that makes boys who are initially attracted to Helen eventually want to be with her. Yep, Pike did it again with the accidentally-steal-yo-man girl, only at least Josie is honest with herself and admits that going out with her best friend’s ex makes her an asshole. Not that she’s going to stop. There’s one boy in particular she’s thinking of here, who went with Helen and then with her and then moved away and dropped off the face of the planet. Remember when you could do that, all the way back in the 1990s?

So they get to the hotel, drop their crap, and decide to go snorkeling at Paradise beach. They have to rent motor scooters to get there, but it turns out Helen has an ulterior motive for wanting to go so far away: a guy. Specifically, a British bartender named Tom, whom she met during her trip the previous summer. Of course Josie is instantly smitten, but she’s not immediately planning to steal Tom. They plan to go out later, the three of them and one of Tom’s friends, and then the girls get their snorkeling equipment and get in the water.

It’s when Josie pushes herself too hard that we learn a little more backstory. Seems she had a mysterious heart inflammation the previous summer while Helen was in Greece and almost died from it. The experience has made her appreciate life more, and so she really wants to tackle everything that comes her way. But her endurance is still not where it should be, and she’s been swimming for an hour. As she struggles to get back to shore, Tom plunges into the water (in his full bar uniform, no less) and pulls her in. Interesting that he was watching her swim while he was supposed to be at work, yes?

So they go back to the hotel and Josie grabs a nap, and then she decides to interact with her parentals. She argues with the girlfriend, who is drunk in the bar watching TV, and then finds her dad pecking on his laptop on his room’s balcony. Seems he’s been fighting with a science-fiction screenplay for about a year. Mr. Goodwin has never before had this hard a time unfolding a story; before, they always just came to him, but now he can’t figure out where to take it. He knows that there are humans in an interstellar war with aliens, and that the humans have captured one and are going to make her escort a single pilot on a suicide mission to blow up the alien homeworld, but he doesn’t really know why or what comes next. (I think the screenplay is supposed to have some parallel with the narrative, but it’s a pretty big stretch.) He’s interested in Josie’s ideas, and she tells him she’ll need to think on it.

Right now it’s time for her to meet Helen and the boys for dinner. She finds Helen at a restaurant in town, and they talk about their mutual attraction to Tom, and Helen says she won’t be upset if Tom prefers Josie only she is obviously lying. Tom shows up a little later with his roommate Pascal, a big French dude who works with handicapped kids most of the year but is spending his summer delivering vegetables to restaurants. In fact, he’s got a truck coming in on the late ferry, and he wants to take it for a ride with one of the girls — only (obviously) neither one wants to leave Tom to the other. So he takes off in the truck, and the other three go to a bar, where Helen drinks too much and pukes on Tom’s shoes, so that’s over. Josie takes her home, they fall asleep, and Josie dreams of being a goddess suffused in radiant blue light. When she wakes up she’s totally fine and feeling great, even though she drank at least two bottles of wine and should be a little hungover. Did the light save her from the booze?

Of course, being totally sick doesn’t keep Helen from having an agenda. She wakes everyone up the next day (even Josie’s parentals) and makes them take a boat to the island of Delos. It’s a sacred holy site, which Josie learns about by reading along the way: supposedly it’s the birthplace of Apollo and Artemis, fathered by Zeus and borne by the titan Leto (which I had to look up because I was confusing her with Leda) on an island that was not fixed in place, as Hera had banned Leto from giving birth on terra firma. The mythology of the place made it an important site of worship, even though nobody could live there, and today it is essentially a museum full of excavated ruins. Josie’s dad’s girlfriend thinks it’s junky, of course.

But what Helen most wants Josie to see is the top of Mount Kynthos, where Apollo was supposely born. And it’s true, the sun does feel stronger and more intense up there, and Josie senses a connection to something greater than herself. Helen knows it, and she sprinkles in a little more backstory by saying that when she got out of the hospital she knew that this was a place she had to come, for some reason. We learn that Helen tried to kill herself, not long before Josie had her heart ailment, but we don’t really learn how or why. Josie wonders if the boyfriend they shared was an impetus, but she sure as hell doesn’t ask any more questions about it. Still, they both share that getting so close to death has provided them with a new understanding of what they should do with life. Still, we start to wonder about their friendship. How close are they actually? Do they even still like each other?

Josie doesn’t help matters by immediately going to see Tom at the beach when they get back from Delos. They try to figure out how to get together without upsetting Helen, and don’t come up with much other than everybody hanging out again. After a swim and a stint of topless sunbathing, she goes back to the hotel, where she tells her dad that the suicide pilot in his script has something to live for and then puts off Helen’s attempt to go get dinner, as she needs to wait for her sneaky plan to happen. She dreams of a secret altar to Apollo, where she prays for insight and information to pass along to humans, and then she and Helen go to the same restaurant as the night before, where Tom and Pascal just happen to show up. Only Pascal’s fumbling English gives away that it was all planned, and Helen storms off, but not before revealing to Josie that the reason their mutual boyfriend hasn’t been in touch is because he died at the end of last summer. Helen has known this all along, but she has obviously kept it from Josie out of spite ... or something. I think here their friendship is officially ruined.

Josie and Tom try to salvage the evening by going out on the bay in a rowboat. While they’re out there, though, the temperamental summer winds kick up all of a sudden, and they lose their oar and can’t get it back. Tom jumps in the water to get it, but before he can get back the boat blows out to sea with Josie in it. All Josie can do is bail as it takes on water and pray that the wind stops before she sinks. And, like, literally as soon as she prays, the weather lets up and the water gets calm. She passes out in the boat and wakes up on a rocky beach, which she’s pretty sure is Delos. So she goes to try to find the archaeologists on the island, but before she can she discovers that the ruin is somehow a living city, and they welcome and worship her.

And suddenly we’re flung into a new myth, one of Pike’s own making. We learn about the muse Sryope and her best friend Phthia, granddaughter of Zeus. They are both in love with Aeneas, half-blood son of Aphrodite, and Phthia seduces him and gets him to swear an oath of fidelity before she goes back to fucking around. This pisses Sryope off, and she figures out how to get Phthia to forgive the vow: a story contest. If Sryope wins, Phthia will release Aeneas; if Phthia wins, Sryope will never tell anyone that her father is Alecto, one of the Furies that guards the underworld. Yeah, I know, and so does Pike — Furies in myth are traditionally portrayed as female, but there’s some shape-shifter tales throughout fiction.  Of course Sryope basically goes back on her word immediately, telling a story of a Fury who impregnates a goddess by impersonating a handsome warrior and begats (?) a daughter, just changing the names like that hides anything. Of course Phthia gets pissed and yells at Sryope, then takes off without telling her story, never to be seen again until Alecto finds her dead and floating in the river Styx. Upon which he (she?) arrests (?) Sryope on suspicion of murder.

This is where Josie wakes up with the sunrise in the ruins of Delos. There’s a tiny marble statue of a goddess next to her, which she recognizes as Sryope, so she pockets it, but then she realizes she’s going to get in trouble if she’s found there. She gets out, hides among the tourists, and takes the first boat back to Mykonos, where her father and his girlfriend are anxiously talking to the police on the dock. Seems Tom made it back to shore and warned everyone that Josie was missing, and now that she’s back they call off the search and get everyone ready for a celebratory barbecue at the hotel. But first she tells Tom what happened, and shows him the statue, which has since the morning become flecked with clear crystal somehow. He’s not sure he believes her, but he does promise to stay with her and protect her from any more weirdness.

The girlfriend runs the barbecue, maybe out of guilt of not being more ... motherly? I don’t know. Is that really the responsibility of a thirty-something woman whose boyfriend has an eighteen-year-old daughter? I know, cultural expectations and all that bullshit. But Helen helps make the burgers, and Josie asks for two but can’t finish the first so Tom eats the other one. While she’s eating, Josie talks to her dad some more about his script, and suggests that the pilot plants the bomb on the planet but that the alien is struggling to tell him something that she’s been programmed against. Then Josie goes to bed and  dreams about Sryope’s trial, where she is twisted into lying about knowing Phthia’s parentage and discusses how she shares stories and ideas with mortals, in particular a certain screenwriter and his daughter.

Josie wakes up feeling like crap. The statue is still there, but now it’s totally clear, with a red swirl in the center. She tries to call Tom, but Pascal says he’s too sick to answer the phone. She’s starting to worry about all of it, so she finds her way over to his house and realizes he needs to see a doctor. At the health center, Josie collapses in the waiting room and sees more of the trial, where Minos (the underworld judge) shows Sryope forcing the daughter’s best friend to drink poison, and then sees herself forcing the spirit of Phthia into the best friend’s dying body. Sryope realizes that it’s Alecto impersonating her, but there’s no way to provide a realistic motive without going back on her lies about Phthia and Alecto. So she accepts her punishment, which is to give up her immortality and take the place of the dying spirit in the screenwriter’s daughter.

Josie wakes up with her family around her. She asks to talk to Helen alone, because by now they both know the story. Helen tells Josie that she put ground glass in her hamburgers, and there’s no way to get it out of her system. I don’t know if that’s how it works ... isn’t finely ground glass essentially sand? Snopes says this isn’t inherently fatal, but we didn’t have the Internet in 1993 and so it scared the piss out of me at the time. Helen isn’t really upset about Tom being collateral damage, either, because he treated her wrong. She’s taken a similar revenge on their dead mutual ex, in fact. She tells Josie that this was her plot, abetted by Alecto, and all she has to do to live forever is to sacrifice somebody to the Furies — in this case, Pascal — on the summit of Mount Kynthos.

So with no hope for themselves, there’s no reason to go to the mainland hospital, but there’s still time to save Pascal. Before she goes, Josie leaves a note for her dad that tells him the planet is actually Earth, and the aliens are what humans would have become if they stayed. Then she rouses Tom out of bed and tells him about Helen’s plan, and they sneak out of the health center. They grab Pascal’s gun from the apartment, then steal a boat and rip over to Delos.

He’s already bewitched and is ready to obey Helen. There’s no other option. Josie tries to shoot her but the gun doesn’t go off. Tom (the stupid idiot who thinks he knows better than killing) knocks the gun out of Josie’s hand, and Pascal grabs it. Helen tells him to put it in his mouth and pull the trigger, which he does — but it still doesn’t go off. Josie realizes the safety must be on, but Pascal doesn’t. The gun in his mouth is enough to break his hypnosis, and he faints. Helen doesn’t realize about the safety either (I guess she thinks the gun is busted) so she pulls out a giant knife and literally lifts Tom off his feet, telling Josie she wants her to watch him suffer before she dies too.

But Josie has one more trick up her sleeve: her camera, which is in the pocket of the windbreaker she’s wearing. If she can get one good shot, maybe the flash will distract Helen enough that she can grab the gun and kill her before she kills Tom. And it’s a good shot. So good, in fact, that it lights up the entire island as though from the sun. Helen is momentarily blinded and drops the boy, and Josie has enough light to find the gun, flick the safety off, and fire six shots into Helen’s chest.

So Pascal is now safe, but Josie’s still dying, right? And Tom? Hang on a second. Josie realizes that the red in the little statuette is blood. Her godly blood. In fact, when she takes it out of her pocket, the head has turned into essentially a flip-cap. But there’s only enough for one person, so guess what. Yep, she makes Tom drink it, and once again Pike has killed off the first-person protagonist. Really — he’s done it in literally every single (YA) story written from 1PP so far. I’d say to start expecting it, only the next major one from this perspective is The Last Vampire, so ... but maybe he’s counting that as dead?

Our epilogue finds Sryope at the top of Mount Kynthos, conversing with Apollo, who she has only now realized is her own father. He is interested to know what she’s learned from her time on Earth, and as they arise into the sun she begins the tale of a girl on a plane to Greece.

And hereby we close The Immortal. I have to say I’m not mad at it. The agency of the girls and goddesses is useful, and it certainly does more with the kinky Greek myth sex than anything teachers will let you read. The parallel of the higher being dying after fulfilling an important informational mission between the narrative and the dad’s screenplay is super-thin, and I could have done without that, but Josie and Helen are kind of badasses who don’t apologize for their desires, and I’m glad. I’m also glad that this re-read gave me the thought to check on that ground-glass thing, which makes me more OK with hamburgers. 

[imaginationlane]

The Assistant [Part 4 of ? // Bill Skarsgard x Reader Imagine]

Warnings: Adult Language, Adult Themes, Sexual Situations / Smut

Need to catch up on previous chapters? Click here.

[As always, please ignore any typos, errors and so forth as I generally catch any that I miss -- after publication. Therefore I’ll fix them as time progresses.]

Musical Inspiration: Delicate by: T. Swift [I’m trying to avoid getting this site flagged because she is way too serious about streaming sites right now lol.]

Another song that ended up becoming a good inspiration for this chapter is Lonely Together (Acoustic Version) by: Avicil & Rita Ora.

__

Original Chapter Posted On: December 10, 2017 Newly Edited & Revised Chapter Posted On: September 10, 2020

Summary:

A night out on the town for a few drinks, was all I had signed up for. But in reality… I got way more than I had ever bargained for when my boss and close personal friend, Bill Skarsgard, asked me to join him during a wrap party that the crew was hosting that night. In hindsight, I should have seen this coming. After all, we were both having issues in our own respective relationships and for some reason, we had found it easier to just confide in each other – rather than in our own significant others. Yet in the end, do the reasons ever truly matter when you begin an affair with your friend who also happens to be your boss? I often ask myself just how selfish could we be; he and I? The answer is: we’re completely selfish and neither of us really cares if this secret burns us alive – because it’s within each other, that we have finally found the things we had been looking for the whole time…

September 15, 2013 --

Champagne flowed freely and classical piano music played in the background as people happily mingled amongst one another. Well, everyone except for me that is. Instead, I sat at the bar and continued to play with my drinking glass. My father was proudly hosting a party for one of our models, Olivia Moore, who had just gotten signed to walk in the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show this year.

When I considered the astounding implications of my surroundings, I was forced to admit that I was in vastly strange and unforgiving territory. I had went to school for four years to earn my degree in Communications, while this chick had nothing more than a high school diploma and was excelling further in life than I could ever hope to. The thought alone was depressing as hell.

Upon graduating earlier this year from NYU, my folks had gifted me with a 1.8 million dollar condo in the city in hopes that I would be the sibling that stayed behind and came into the family business. After all, when your parents run one of the most sought-after modeling and talent agencies on the east coast of the United States, The Frankford Talent Institute, they clearly had high hopes that I would eventually want to join in the family business at some point. It was only natural really. However, I wanted to build a life for myself and find my own success, which was why I informed them that I had dreams and aspirations of being able to take my degree into the media industry. Or perhaps even work my way up as a Director of Communications for a well-known company that was doing some good in the world. Of course, I could tell they were slightly let down by the revelation, but they decided to support me regardless.

After three months of endless application processes, I was soon faced with the reality that not one single office in the city I had applied to had even called me back for an interview. With the economy trying to recover, I quickly discovered that trying to get in with one of these companies was going to be next to impossible unless I knew someone who worked in any of these places. As my savings started to dwindle into the red, I came to grips with the fact that I had to shelve that dream and ultimately take my parents up on their employment offer. They were ecstatic with my change of heart while I, on the other hand, had to gently remind them that me coming on-board was only temporary, as I did want to build my own life and career at some point.

Now here I was, sipping on pink champagne at the bar and watching my new boss, Olivia, mingle around and put herself out there with other talent scouts that had been invited to the party. Upon arriving within the company, my dad immediately placed me as Olivia's assistant. My job? Keep her on time for all of her appointments, handle her scheduling needs, and most importantly of all, keep her happy. I soon found out, however, that Olivia was almost next to impossible to please. In fact, I was sitting here feeling like a cheap prostitute, thanks to her insisting that I wear this incredibly short black dress, because in her words, "my assistant has to look at least halfway decent if she's going to appear with me in public."

Fuck my life.

This dress was so short, I texted my father prior to us arriving tonight simply to apologize for how I would look and inform him that Olivia was making me wear it. Luckily, my dad was a patient person who understood that sometimes the talent we acquired had outlandish requests for us once in a while.

It was enough to make me feel like jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge, to be honest. 

"You look ready to throw yourself off the balcony and give everyone the finger while you do it," a voice suddenly spoke out from behind me, startling me out of my daze.

I swiveled my seat around in hopes of figuring out who had exposed my master plan so carelessly in public. Yet when I finally looked up and into his eyes, I wasn't exactly prepared for how insanely gorgeous this stranger was.

Oh, holy shit... Hello, handsome.

"How rude. Don't you know it's terrible manners to expose people's plans so publicly? Now I have to come up with a new idea. I smiled back at him, watching as a smirk lit up the features on his handsome face.

His hand extended outwards, waiting for me to take it. After a brief moment, I set my glass back down on the bar and grasped his larger hand within my own.

“I’m Bill, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Y/N, and it’s nice to meet you too.”

Bill's head tilted towards the side slightly, almost as if he were trying to put a puzzle together inside of his mind. "Y/N? You wouldn't happen to be related to the guy whose company is throwing this get together, would you?"

Momentarily, I closed my eyes and bit my lip nervously as I allowed my hand to slip away from his.

"Mister Julius Y/L/N happens to be my father, and our new Victoria's Secret model, Miss Olivia Moore, just so happens to be my boss. I'm her assistant, I explained whilst slowly reaching for my glass on top of the bar.

After I finished taking a sip of the bubbly liquid, I set my glass back down once again before I refocused my attention back to him.

"If you're looking to network with someone truly important, you might want to try my dad. Otherwise, you're barking up the wrong tree as I can't help you with much of anything else," I warned him playfully, hoping he would get the hint that I wasn't anyone he should waste his time with.

A chuckle escaped his lips, and his delightfully green eyes landed solely upon mine. "It's a good thing I wasn't looking to mingle with anyone truly important then," he replied with a wink.

My laughter bubbled to the surface, as I shook my head at his poor attempt at possible flirting.

“That was terrible!” 

His smile grew into larger than life proportions as he took in my reaction.

“Was it?”

“Absolutely.”

August 25, 2016 -- Present:

My eyelids fluttered open, bringing me back to reality. It had been a while since I had dreamt about that fateful meeting between Bill and I. It also left me wondering how the hell I had missed some of the most obvious signs from our past.

Gray clouds rolled in, darkening the morning sky. Thunder rolled in the distance, and the last thing I wanted to do was crawl out of this bed, especially since Bill was snuggling against my back and I could feel his soft breathing gently ghosting across my neck and shoulder. It was our last official day here and he hadn't left my side all night, refusing to leave me to my own devices after what had previously transpired between us. Instead, after we had collected ourselves off the floor, he ran a bath for me and insisted that I get in it and relax, while he stayed behind in the kitchen and cleaned up the remnants of our ruined dinner. I guess after what had happened between us, he wanted to handle me more tenderly, almost delicately. I didn't think I would even need that kind of affectionate attention, but it felt nice to receive it nevertheless.

My eyes slipped shut, as the events of last night flashed through my mind: his fire and passion, all-consuming and never-ending.

What an intricate web we weave.

Surprisingly, I had always thought that if a man were to treat me as roughly as I had been treated last night during sex, that I wouldn't enjoy it. But the truth was... I highly enjoyed it. And I think it was because it was with him. For some reason, it was just easy with Bill. Perhaps it was because I knew him better than most others did, and therefore I was more comfortable to fall back and allow him to take the lead. Ultimately, I had deduced that it was solely because I trusted him to lead the way.

It's a rare and fickle thing, trust. It's not easily attainable and can be shattered with just the tiniest infraction. Yet, given our remarkable circumstances, I trusted Bill immeasurably. He had seen me through several high and low points over the few precious years we had known each other, and never once had he judged me. I could say the same for my interactions with him as well, because of working so closely together. He had sometimes just needed a friend to vent to and be there with him, and that’s what I provided without fail. He did a lot of growing up alone over the years, basically only seeing friends and family back home whenever the opportunities had managed to present themselves outside of his work schedules. But underneath it all, I knew how difficult it was to live and grow on your own, and he did it all in a different country because his goals and aspirations in his life had demanded it from him. Underneath the growing affection I so obviously began developing for him, was a deep layer of profound respect for him as well.

Before we had met each other, we were simply a couple of young adults just stumbling through life. In a lot of ways, we still were even today. Bill has had a few discrete liaisons over the years before getting with his current girlfriend, while I was just a city girl with a dream of a bigger life who normally played things safe in the romance department. I didn't sleep around, particularly in my past, nor did I just jump into everything with my now ex-boyfriend John either. The fact of the matter was, this illicit little affair is probably the most risque thing I've ever done in my entire life. Alas, here we were, and I was enjoying what little time we had left together before reality was due to set back in tomorrow.

My ever-increasing thoughts were interrupted as I felt his arm tighten around my midsection and a pair of pillow-soft lips land perfectly in the crook of my neck.

“Good morning,” I whispered with a smile. 

Damn, I could get used to this.

He simply hummed against my neck, allowing his hands to begin gently wandering up towards my breasts. Upon giving my left breast a tender squeeze, I breathed out an airy giggle, hoping he would continue his subtly sweet exploration of my body.

"God, you have no idea how long I've wanted to do this," he grumbled quietly. His lips started drifting towards my exposed ear while he licked and nipped at my exposed skin.

He says that to me a lot now, but deep down I'm still wondering how long it's been like this for him. Has it truly been from the very beginning, since our very first meeting? It couldn't be. Yet, with the way this is currently playing out, I can't automatically discredit that possibility either.

"You should have just told me, you know. We could have possibly been doing this a hell of a lot sooner," I mused softly, taking in his tender affections and closing my eyes. I wanted to fall into the moment and submerge myself in his touch.

He halted his task at hand and sat up, pulling me back so I could turn and face him, causing the sheet that was covering me to slip down my body and expose my chest to him.

At that moment, it didn't matter that I probably had an insane case of bedhead or that I felt like I needed to get up and make myself look more presentable. None of those trivial things mattered presently. All that mattered right now was that we had each other all to ourselves, and the only thing I could do was burn this moment into my memory, praying that it never fades away.

How is this even my life right now? What the hell did I manage to do right?

Bill's eyes locked me in under his intense gaze and all I could do was bite my lip as I watched him observe me.

"You're right, I should have done this a hell of a lot sooner," he whispered to me before his lips came to rest on top of my own in a delicately tender kiss.

It never ceased to amaze me just how much his kisses always seemed to make me halt in my tracks and have me come to a complete mental standstill. With him, it felt as if time stopped and it was only just the two of us. The world outside of these four walls ceased to exist, and the only thing that made any sense anymore was his skin pressed so close to mine.

"I need you," I pleaded quietly whilst he pulled back and peered into my eyes.

“I know, I need you too.”

I could hear the thunder coming closer while a flash of lightning briefly illuminated the room for a second, and the rain started to gently tap against the window behind my bed.

I pressed my lips to his, drinking in his intoxicating kiss as his hands began to drift down the side of my body, bringing me even closer to him. Wrapping my leg around his hip, he shifted his body atop of my own and settled deep between my thighs. My hands wandered aimlessly across his body As his left hand cupped my face, he pulled back and closed his eyes, resting his forehead against my own. His breath fanned across my face effortlessly, while my hands drifted into his feathery brown hair.

“Are you okay?” I asked him, suddenly worried that he may be second-guessing this whole thing after all. 

“With you, I’m perfect.” 

Pulling his head back up, he stared down at me once more, almost as if he were committing this moment into his memory too. I began to feel slightly exposed and shy under his intense scrutiny. Bill's piercing gaze made my breath catch in my throat, which caused me to momentarily avert my eyes away from his. His eyes were so intense that it suddenly made me feel bashful.

"Please... Please don't do that. Look at me," he paused, causing me to shift my attention back to him. "You're so beautiful."

There’s my head, my heart, and I’m so caught in the middle.

As I pulled his lips back down to my own, I poured my feelings into the kiss, hoping that whatever I couldn't articulately verbalize to him, he would possibly understand through my actions instead. I knew better than to hope that he would be just mine, but that didn't mean that I didn't wish for it either. And if I could only have him during these few fleeting moments, then so be it. I would selfishly take it all.

Our bodies molded together in a perfect rhythm of forbidden ecstasy as I felt him slip inside of me with ease. His thrusts were tortuously slow, burning me alive with want and need. Bill temporarily broke our kiss, causing our eyes to lock as his right hand drifted outwards, splaying itself across my arm and interlocking with my left one. His gentle thrusts never stopped as I kept my eyes solely upon his. The intimacy of this act wasn't lost upon me. If anything, I openly welcomed this unique change of pace.

Leaning his head towards mine, he leisurely kissed me once again. His tongue darted against my lips, silently begging for entrance, which I readily granted him. Deliberately, his tongue slowly intertwined with mine. This kiss felt lazy and beautiful all at the same time. I could feel myself getting even wetter as he sensuously thrust himself inside of me. Bill was stimulating me not just on a physical level, but perhaps even more so on an emotional one as well -- and I wasn’t entirely prepared for it.

Maybe that was why my orgasm snuck up on me and blindsided me, causing me to pull back from our kiss and gasp. My brows furrowed as I felt myself free-fall over the edge and my blood caught fire within my veins. Bill realized what was transpiring the second it happened, as my muscles had clamped down onto him.

"Eyes on me, darling, keep them on me," he reminded me breathlessly, all while he continued to watch me in sheer amazement, tortuously grinding himself further into my body and working himself through my orgasm.

The second I came back down from my high, his head came to rest against my own while I finally allowed my eyes to slip closed for a moment. The sound of thunder, along with our heavy breathing filled the room while he continued pushing himself further inside. My hands came to rest on his scalp, threading themselves within his luscious chocolate-colored locks as he dipped his head to take my nipple into his fiery hot mouth. Sparks ignited within me once again the second his wet tongue swirled around the perky bud, and I felt myself losing grip once more.

It was maddening, just how easily he could make me come undone. It was almost as if my body spoke a certain language that only he knew fluently. I felt the passion, desire, and heat building between us whilst he gingerly thrust his hips against my own. I had never experienced something as tender or as sensual as this before, not with anyone. Not even John. It felt as if time was suspended and reality no longer existed. I had completely forgotten where Bill ended and I began. It was beautiful, all-encompassing, and was only eclipsed by the fact that I felt my fortified walls beginning to crumble down around me.

It was only then that it finally dawned on me about what was truly transpiring here: we weren't just having sex. He was making love to me.

A moan fell from my lips as I tossed my head back against the soft pillows. My vision began to blur and I felt another wave of release rip straight out of me -- causing me to feel as if I were going to explode. Bill's lips sought mine while his thrusts grew slightly more erratic. His hand clasped mine as he pulled back so he could watch me free-fall into the abyss all over again. His heavy breath fanned against my face as lightning flashed across the room once again. The thunder rolled overhead in the dark and foreboding skies outside, but inside -- we had never felt safer, cocooned, or more alive.

Our interlocked hands gripped each other tightly, neither one of us willing to stop the undeniable inevitability of what was happening. The rain pounded relentlessly against the glass, letting us know that the storm had picked up momentum outside, just as we did right here in this bed. It was a beautiful symphony of emotion and physicality that never ceased to amaze me every time we came together.

"Oh God," he moaned aloud, gripping my hand even tighter than before, allowing his release to pull him into a world of sheer euphoria. Bill's green eyes stared hard into mine as he let go of my hand, cupped the side of my face, and brought my lips to his for a searing kiss that almost left me completely breathless. I could feel him twitching and spasming deep within my body, while I just stared up at him in wonder-filled amazement.

After he finished, he breathlessly collapsed atop of me, unable to move while he caught his breath. I laid there silently, softly running my fingers through his partially sweaty hair and kissed the side of his head, giving him the few moments he so desperately needed to collect himself.

“What have you done to me?” He groaned weakly from beside me.

The truth was, I didn't have an answer to that question, because I was wondering just what the hell he had done to me as well.

August 26, 2016 -- 6:24 A.M. 

The storm from yesterday refused to yield while the rain continued to pour down endlessly, as I stood behind the glass storm door, waiting for our taxi to arrive. Bill and I had decided several days ago to catch a car to the airport together. We would both catch a flight to New York's JFK International Airport and from there, he would catch his next flight into Sweden. I should be happy to be heading home, but the truth was... I wasn't. I was feeling slightly depressed knowing that tomorrow morning, I wouldn't be waking up by his side.

He has clearly spoiled me...

My heart began to race, as I felt a pair of lean muscular arms slip around my waist and pull me closer towards his body.

"Are you trying to get seen by the neighbors?" I kept my tone light, as I humorously tried to point out the obvious to him.

"Fuck 'em," he mumbled, placing his lips against the crook of my neck. I was beginning to wonder if that was his favorite spot to kiss on my body. Not that I was complaining though.

His response caused me to laugh and finally relax into his embrace. This vacation house had turned into our own private little sanctuary over the past few days. Leaving it all behind to return to our normal lives seemed like a very depressing idea indeed.

"This really sucks," I whispered on bated breath, hoping I hadn't just fucked up and made him think I couldn't handle this.

“I know,” he nudged me gently, working his way towards my ear. 

"Time away should do us both a world of good, to be honest. We're not sure of what this is, so maybe we both need time to figure it out, and for you to decide what you want." My suggestion came out as a pleading whisper, hopeful that he would understand that both of us needed time to think about where we stood.

At the moment, he and I were dancing around something. What though, I couldn't be sure. But he needed to get things on his end together. The truth was, I didn't know if I felt comfortable continuing this if he decided to keep his current relationship going. I felt bad enough already, I knew my conscience wouldn’t be able to handle carrying this on for much longer.

Bill pulled back slightly, releasing his hold on me enough to simply turn me around to face him. 

“I know that I like who I am when I'm with you, and I know I can trust you more than anyone else in my life. I also know that I can't get enough of you, and you drive me fucking insane with need." He paused as he growled out that last part and pecked my lips once again. "I just need some time to get things straightened out on my end, but I swear... I will. And when I do, you’ll know."

A small and meek smile graced my lips as I glanced away from his intense gaze.

Only time would tell if he still felt this way in a few weeks, especially after seeing her again.

"I like who I am when I'm with you too," I answered back quietly. Bill lifted my chin towards him and laid a gentle kiss upon my lips.

It never failed to amaze me just how much his lips could hypnotize me. His kisses were intoxicating, and all I wanted in that second was to shut the door and miss our flights.

"Why did you have to book our flights so early?" He whined as he pulled back from our kiss. It felt nice to know that I wasn't the only one who had similar thoughts racing through their mind.

I gave him a small giggle, turning my attention back to him. "I would think after practically all day yesterday, you would be good to go and begging for a break by now," I surmised breathlessly, my hand gently brushing against his right cheek.

"I can never get enough of you, and I don't want to," he told me, capturing my lips with his own once more.

I'm an actual idiot for this, I know I am, but I'm a willing idiot because right now, I don't care how badly this will hurt me when this whole thing crashes and burns.

Gathering a fist full of his black leather jacket in my hands, I sunk deeper into his kiss without a care in the world.

It was only when a car horn blared outside that we were brought back into the real world, and faced with the grim reality that once we stepped outside of this door, we could no longer be this affectionate with one another.

As I pulled back from his grasp, I released my hold on him and leaned down to grab the handle on my rolling suitcase.

"Are you ready?" I asked him sadly, while I prepared myself to make the best of this time apart.

"Unfortunately, I'm as ready as I'll ever be. Let's go," he suggested as he opened the door and popped open the umbrella so we could make our way out towards the cab.

There you go, Part 4 is done! 

Tagging: @kikilikes, @readsalot73, @diianawonka, @goswedish, @rougxlips @ffixation, @shadowpriestess6, @vladsgirl, @mrsbillskarsgard, @billgardskars, @adoresfandoms, @mightbelindsey, @we-are-like-a-timebomb, @fandomimcurrentlyobsessedabout, @negan5589, @decayingdeathh, @unicorn-glitter-princess, @voidpaintings, @the-fandom-phantom-fanfics, @mishdennise

[leftmyurlinmyotherpants]

hi i wrote a thing “Why did it have to be this way?” ~ Albert

hi so yes this is really heavy and requires trigger warnings for death, self harm and suicide. if theres any warnings that i missed PLEASE tell me. i dont want to be that person who doesnt tag something that could really mess with someone’s day. i care about you guys a lot and would hate to do that. if i knew how to do the “continue reading” thing, i would do that. if anyone wants to let me know how to do that, that’d be awesome.

@timesarehardfornewsies (you asked to be tagged so here we go) 

"She was always there when I needed someone. She was everything I ever wanted and needed but never what I deserved. She could have done so much better than me but she always stayed. No matter what. I was never able to provide her with anything more than a proper date every once and a while but she never thought it mattered. She was absolutely everything to me and I wouldn't be the man I am today if it weren’t for her presence in my life. I love you to death, sweetheart. I don’t understand why it had to be this way. Rest easy, beautiful, I’ll be seeing you soon.” Albert said as he stepped down from the podium and walked around the altar. He stops by the love of his life’s casket and completely breaks down. Tears begin to pour from his already red, puffy eyes and continue to follow the stains left down his face from the past few days and the event that brought this about. He leans his head against the head of the casket for a split second before mumbling a quick “I love you baby” before hugging her family and returning to his seat next to Race, who wrapped an arm around his shoulders before the priest continued with the final blessing.

She was gripping the bathroom sink with such grip that made her knuckles go white. She couldn’t find a way to get out of her own head. She lost control. Not even the boy who is normally able to bring her out of any funk she’s in or be able to just let her get it out of her system while still making sure she knew he was there for her. Taking her final message to him off the edge of the bathtub, she slips it under the locked bathroom door. She takes a deep breath before starting to run the bath water, hot. While that’s running, she begins to rummage through their shared medicine cabinet looking for anything strong enough to do damage. Spotting Albert’s pain medication from when he had broken his wrist the most recent time, she begins to realize what she is about to do. As she mentioned in her note, she knew that she couldn’t go back now. 

She grabs the pain medication as well as her own prescriptions and empties the already nearly empty bottles into her hand. She stops the water before she begins swallowing the pills four at a time. She swallows the final few before shrugging off Albert’s sweater, after all, she wouldn’t want to stain it. She steps into the bath wearing her pajama shorts and a loose tank before taking the blade that she hid under her shampoo bottle into her hand. 

One, two, three, four. She eventually lost count of the deep and painful slashes that she inflicted onto her wrists. She began to slip between consciousness and unconsciousness as she began to see memories playback behind closing eyelids. The good times with her family, the times with the boys, the first time she told Albert she loves him. Everything was flooding back and as soon as she felt the regret of what she was doing, it was already too late. What was going to inevitably happen is already setting in. She tries her hardest to scream out her help but nothing leaves her lips.

The only thing that left her lips were “I love you, Albert. I’m so sorry.” Little did she know, that would be the last thing to ever leave her lips.

Albert was banging on the door while she was slipping away. As soon as he gets in, he hears her final words. He runs to her and takes her out of the tub and tries to listen for a heartbeat but instead of getting more, he ended up hearing her last breath and the last time her heart, the heart that she knew only belonged to him, would ever beat. He called for an ambulance as he tried to keep her heart going until emergency services arrived.

Once the paramedics arrived, everything became a blur to him. He blindly followed along with everything and gave them all the information they required with a heavy heart, knowing that there would be nothing they can do for the girl who is...was his entire world. 

The news came just as he figured it would. “I’m so sorry for your loss.” There was nothing anyone could say or do. He had lost his entire world, his entire reason to live. He lost everything he loved.

He forced himself to call her family and be the bearer of the news but hung up as soon as they knew. He wouldn’t be able to handle hearing them try to make sense of something he couldn’t even make sense of himself. He remained generally silent during the planning process, only breaking the silence to say that he and the boys are carrying the casket and that he wants to speak at the service.

The entire service remained mostly a blur. Even the eulogy he delivered was a blur. The only thing he remembered saying was that he will see her soon. He knew of a world where the pain would go away, where they could be free. He just wanted to be with the girl he loves more than life itself and he didn’t know what else to do. So he did the only thing he could think of doing: he followed in her footsteps. 

He stayed with Race because it wasn’t a good idea to let him stay in the apartment where his world fell apart. He left a simple note on Race’s counter, explaining why he did what he was about to do and that he was sorry before retreating into the guest bedroom which had become his own over the past two weeks. He grabbed the pills he had accumulated over the past two weeks from Race more or less suicide-proofing the entire apartment to make sure his best friend wouldn’t do anything stupid. 

If Albert ate (which he rarely did), Race wouldn’t let him cut it himself. If Albert needed any sort of medication for anything, Race administered it so he wouldn’t be able to do anything stupid. The one slip up was that Race left before Albert took the pills. Instead of taking them, he stashed them in a small box that he kept hidden between the bed and the bedside table. Race also made the mistake to allow Albert to shave on his own, which resulted in the redheaded boy breaking apart the razors until he was left with just the sharp slivers of metal that allowed for self-punishment.

Albert began to lose control once his hand wrapped around his little stash. Before he could catch up, he had already swallowed the twnety-some odd pills that he had accumulated and had already inflicted multiple gashes on his wrist with little to no remorse. He had started to slip out of consciousness when he heard the door to the apartment close. As his eyes shut, he saw Race on the phone.

Behind closed eyelids, he saw his girl standing in front of him. She looked as beautiful as ever and looked as inviting as she always had. He stepped closer to her but every step he took toward her, she backed away. He began to grow frustrated that he couldn’t hold her as Race’s voice began to invade his mind.

“Come on dude, wake up. You just gotta, they’re thinking about taking you off and I don’t think I’d be able to handle that. Albert, she wouldn’t have wanted this. We love you here, Al. You can’t do this to us, you can’t do this to me. I can’t handle losing another brother.” Race pleads, gripping Albert’s hand before eventually breaking down into tears. It’s true. Doctors weren’t expecting him to wake up from this. He has been in this coma for nearly three weeks and never showed signs of improvement.

“Albert, baby, you can’t leave them just yet. Keep going for me.” His girlfriend’s voice took the place of Race’s.“Sweetheart, I only want to be with you. You’re not here anymore so I decided to go be with you. I can’t handle the pain of living without you.” Albert says, pleading to his girlfriend to take him with her. 

Her image reappears where she stood before Race rudely interrupted. She was shaking her head. She steps closer to him and takes his hand and turns him to face away from her.“Now open your eyes baby. There’s a world down there where people love you. I never saw it. In time, I know you’ll see it. I’ll love you forever, Albert. Now wake up.” She says, her voice fading as she repeats her command for him to wake up. 

He begins to feel things again.

He feels his hand being squeezed and tears drip onto his left hand. 

He hears hitched breathing and Race’s broken voice asking him to come back to them. Albert tries to speak but nothing comes. He tries to squeeze Race’s hand back. That must have worked, considering he heard Race’s voice utter “holy shit”. He feels another hand grab his right hand before hearing Jojo ask him to squeeze his hand, which he does. 

As quickly as Jojo took his hand, he had let go, Albert assumed he went to get a doctor, considering he heard him yelling for one. It was a blur of events but Albert eventually opened his eyes. He quickly shuts them because of how bright it was in the room he was in. He slowly opens them again, to find that the light had been turned off and to see that Race, Jojo and Mush were all by his side, all with tears in their eyes. 

“Hey assholes, miss me?” Albert tries to say, but it comes out more like a mutter. Race breaks away from the group and engulfs him in a hug, scolding him for ‘scaring the shit outta him’ and saying that he’ll ‘kill him if he tries this shit again’. The rest of the boys present begin to join in the hug. 

“I’m sorry it had to be like this, fellas. I’m sorry it took this for me to realize that you guys really love me. I love you idiots. You’se my family, I can’t desert my family.” Albert says, finally finding strength in his arms to hug them back.

In the back of his mind, he knew this was where he had to be right now. As usual, his girl was right.

[rubycenter]

regarding kubo

ive been making a lot of essays lately,,

this is a response to this post and the ensuing discourse that happened with OP

uhh so to start off, it's unfortunate what kubo said but it would not make me stop watching/supporting the show ofc. besides kubo wasn't the only person to work on the show so it'd be disrespectful to sayo yamamoto (who has worked on several shows with lgbt characters before) and the countless mappa artists to ignore the show entirely. yes i'd like if kubo would apologize but i get that after having a huge social media following shit gets hard to apologize for because things tend to spiral, especially with the potential words that could be lost in translation/culture. besides, if i found out people were digging up stuff about me from 7 years ago i'd be pretty upset too. it's creepy honestly. there's no solid proof that she's even blocking people either, someone just said that and everyone believed it so uh. there's that. unless someone comes forward about being blocked by her and provides proof, i'm just gonna refrain from focusing on that and acknowledging it as a truth.

about the user who posted it.... well it sucks that they are getting so much attention for it and i hope things quiet down for them. sure it was a shitty post and a lot of their responses are even worse and more ignorant but we all say things without thinking, especially in the middle of The Discourse. i want them to acknowledge what the more respectful people are saying about their actions though, and in fact i've only seen them answer a handful of truly malicious messages. of course they could just be ignoring the really bad ones (which i would too lmfao) but for the most part it seems a lot of people are being civil. if they wanted to be portrayed as credible they should act more mature, at least to those who act mature towards them.

they seem to be bringing up a lot of the same points when trying to prove that Yoi Is Bad, but from what they're saying it looks like they haven't even watched the show. they bring up the sexualization of the pairing and the characters, but totally ignore that those scenes are only a small fraction of the interactions yuuri and victor had. they also said that the engagement rings were just good luck charms and that nobody explicitly said that they were engagement rings, when victor literally said "these are engagement rings, we'll be married once he wins the gold" in the show so uh. yeah it really seems like they don't know what they're talking about and obviously have not watched the show or only cherry-pick information from the episodes to prove their points

besides, the sexualization of two consenting adult men isn't inherently bad, especially since it's portrayed in a healthy, realistic way. and they openly admitted to ignoring the culture surrounding most of these scenes (esp the onsen scenes) and the japanese mindset that people have when viewing this show, so..... honestly our western opinions of the show don’t even matter. we aren’t their target audience.

it looks like they just want to point at everything and claim homophobia which is a bad thing to do since it retracts from truly bad shows and people. they also just assume anyone sending them asks is straight, probably to give them something to be angry at without fully acknowledging all the gay people this show has made so happy. don’t get me wrong i Hate the Hets too but there’s a line you don’t cross and that’s calling everyone who disagrees with you straight. it’s immature and doesn’t make you seem any better of a person. if they didn’t want that sort of attention they should not have tagged the post with #yoi and #yuri on ice. the response happened because they put it in the tag. it doesn’t mean they deserve to have a flood of rude anons, but honestly knowing this site (and the rabid yoi fanbase/tag) they should have expected it. 

the OP also said in another post that they “don’t have proof for it but they are ‘pretty sure’ kubo said she wasn’t interested in writing wlw relationships” (paraphrased) so i mean they’re obviously willing to start shit without actually knowing what they are saying.

the topic of homophobia is hard to truly acknowledge because everyone has different interpretations of things. they seem to think that their word is holy because theyre a gay trans man without acknowledging what other gay men have to say about the show. yoi isn’t objectively Problematic, it’s subjectively problematic. depending on how you interpret these scenes and the relationship, you’ll have a different opinion about the show. and your interpretation can be based off your experiences or just who you are as a person. nobody can change OP’s mind about the show and people shouldn’t let OP change their minds about the show. let’s face it even if they acknowledge that the show is fine and kubo is fine they’ll never like the show bc of what they went through with the fans

yes yoi has problems but a huge part of why i love the show is that it opens up a whole new window of opportunities for the anime industry. i’d be lying if i said 100% of my love for yoi comes from the show itself or the relationship between victor and yuuri (tho they are adorable). a part of why i appreciate it is because it takes these characters where only a handful of anime actually dare to go. it’s not the first show to feature a relationship like this, but it’s definitely popular to say the least, meaning that it won’t be the last. with the success of the show it will definitely influence other shows in the future. i’m less excited for season 2 and more excited for where anime will go from here

(also it should be mentioned that they like sound euphonium and recommend it as Lesbian Anime despite it being one of the worst cases of kyoani bait i think i’ve ever seen and it sexualizes teenage girls. so. take that as you will. i truly think this proves that they dislike yoi bc it’s popular but hey.. u do u)