#you can’t tell Mariana when she’s ready it’s what she feels at the end of the day

[cloveroctobers]

Those bitches at bulk beauty or whatever it’s called make me sick!

[jhilsara]

I Can See You

Pt. 1/ Pt. 2/ Pt. 3/ Pt. 4/ Pt. 5/pt. 6/Pt. 7/Pt. 8/Pt. 9/ Pt. 10/

Pt. 11/ Pt.12/Pt.13/Pt. 14/Pt.15/Pt.16/Pt.17/END

Mariana Jimenez-Watson or MJ works in a normal pub living life paycheck to paycheck. Nothing exciting happens to her except the occasional drunk getting thrown out. She's 24 working away and finds a wrench thrown into her very boring life. His name is Hobie and she thinks maybe, a little excitement isn't awful. In fact she might start to crave some change for once.

Small moments of Hobie meeting his world's MJ. AKA I made an MJ variant and I think she's neat.

Chapter 16

Mariana usually never gets off earlier than closing time. Today was one of those rare days that she got to leave around midnight instead of the early hours of three in the morning, or worse four.

She waves goodbye to Andy and the new girl who’s taking over her last few hours. Andy’s training her so they aren’t under staffed.

She leaves out the back and is ready to head home, maybe have a few hours of peaceful time to read or even catch up on a show or two.

She walks off down the street alone, it’s one of those nights that Hobie’s out patrolling and he can’t walk her home. Which wouldn’t bother her normally. Except about two blocks into her walk she feels like she’s being watched.

She stops and looks around, and the streets not dead, but the people walking are all tipsy walking to their next destination. No ones prying eyes are on her. She looks up, but still nothing. No one’s creeping on her looking out their flats windows, or at least that she can see.

She bites her lip and tries to push the sinking feeling away. She starts to walk once more. She makes it another block before the dreadful feeling consumes her. She doesn’t stop to look this time. She deviates her route. She isn’t walking home, not like this.

Not when she’s being followed. Part of her wonders if it’s that one patron from the bar, but he was arrested.

She shudders at the memory. She tries to not run, or quicken her pace. She knows one of the clubs down this road so she’ll just go there at least until they close. She sees the line to get in and she goes and waits. Her friend Sam works as the bouncer here and she greats her happily.

Sam’s like most bouncers, broad as a barrel and built to handle unruly crowds. She’s standing her post, arms crossed, looking intimidating without even trying. She’s more than glad Sam’s working tonight.

“I didn’t know you were swingin’ by tonight!” she says with a wide smile.

She returns it, but talks to Sam through her teeth, “I think someone’s following me...” She says in a tight voice.

Sam nods and rubs MJ’s back reassuringly. “Got it, go in and find Karla, she’ll get you situated.” She tells her.

She nods her head and dips inside, quickly walking over to the bar that Karla’s at. She’s shaking a bit and she’s never been happier that she’s close to the other bar workers in the area.

“Hey Karla,” she says leaning onto the bar.

Karla whips her head around and the smaller women looks more than happy. She smiles bouncing over to the end that MJ is standing at. She greets her happily.

“What are you doing here? Thought you were working tonight.” She asks her with a curious look.

MJ sighs and gives her the same story she told Sam at the front. She’s wringing her hands together nervously because the last thing she wants is to have another stalker.

Karla nods and tells her other bartender that she’s going on her fifteen. She pulls MJ to the back, which is much quitter from the booming music of the dance club.

“Do you have anyone you can call?” She asks MJ with concern.

She nods, she knows she’s calling Hobie. There’s no question there.

“Yeah, I got someone. I’m gonna call him and hopefully he picks up.” She tells her.

Karla nods and crosses her arms, “If he doesn’t me and Sam can take you home, or you can crash at our place. I don’t want you alone…not if you think you’re being followed.” Karla says nervously.

“I mean, especially after that other stalker almost attacked you… I don’t want another situation like that.” She tells her friend looking at her with worry.

MJ feels fear grip her heart at the memory, but she shakes it off. “Promise I’ll let you know. I’ll be fine though Hobie always answers when I call.” She reassures her friend.

Karla raises a brow, “Hobie? Is he the one you’ve been mucking about with all the time these past few months?” she says a little accusing, but MJ knows she’s being curious not mean.

She feels her own face burn a little and she nods. “Yea, we just, we get each other.” She shrugs trying to be indifferent.

Karla doesn’t buy it, rolling her eyes, “So he’s your boyfriend yea?”

“No, we’re…” MJ starts but stops…she feels her shoulders deflate. “I don’t know what we are…I just don’t want to lose him…he’s special.” She murmurs looking up at Karla.

She nods in understanding. “That’s how I felt about Sam, and now we’re married.” She says knowingly.

“Just don’t wait around too long, yea? I don’t want you to push someone away who could be good for you.” She tells MJ softly.

MJ nods solemnly, she doesn’t want to think about it. She’s scared, mostly. She doesn’t want to ask to define their relationship, because after everything with her mother… she loves him. She knows she does.

But she doesn’t know if he loves her. That is what scares her.

Karla’s break ends and she leaves, giving MJ a firm hug.

MJ doesn’t hesitate to call Hobie, still feeling the pit in her stomach from being followed. One problem at a time.

“Hey, you okay? You never call this early.” His voice slides through her speakers, easy and calm. It relaxes her. She can hear the cars in the distance, he’s probably on a building.

“Um… no?” She hesitates but sighs. “I’m at Spring Awakening, you know the dance club a few blocks down from the pub?” She tells him.

He hums in acknowledgement. “What’s wrong?” He asks her, voice calm, but she hears the wind. He’s already moving.

“Nothing technically, but, I don’t know, I felt someone watching me? Does that make sense? Someone was following me.” She tells him.

“If you think you’re being watched, odds are you are. I’m comin’.” He tells her in a firm voice.

“Can you stay on the phone with me?” She asks hesitantly.

He gives a soft chuckle, “Was plannin’ on it luv.”

It doesn’t take him more than ten or so minutes to get there. He knocks on the back door and she lets him in.

“You doin’ alright?” he asks her softly, holding onto her arms gently.

She nods, “Better now.” She tells him. “Let me go tell Karla I’m leaving, so she doesn’t worry.”

He nods and let’s her go back. She returns within ten minutes and he walks out the back with her. He’s still in his spider suit. Hoping it’ll keep anyone away.

“Do you want to walk home or swing? I could lose anyone if we swing.” He says with a smug tone.

She rolls her eyes, but the idea of being followed is enough to make her want to swing over walking. Even though she hates being up in the air. She doesn’t know how Hobie doesn’t get sick from it, but he’s built different. Literally.

He easily wraps his arms around her firmly and shoots a web. She’s flying off the ground and she squeezes her eyes shut.

He goes the long way, taking a couple of wrong turns just in case. She knows he has that… spider sense? She thinks that’s what he calls it. She really isn’t sure. She just knows that he senses danger much quicker than she can. So, she’s hoping that if that was going off he’d tell her.

He finally makes it to her complex and they both enter through the back. Hobie stays downstairs to wait it out. Just in case they were followed. She makes it to her flat and quickly goes in. She doesn’t bother turning on the lights and just drags herself to the bathroom.

She gave Hobie a key and he’s let himself in a million times. She’s ready to shower off the pub and the anxiety that’s still rattling around in her gut.

She takes a long shower, burning her skin with the hot water, her maroon hair falling down her back as she rakes her hands through it with shampoo. She tries to not think about the fear that gnaws at the back of her head. She’s okay, nothing happened. Hobie’s here and she’s safe.

She’s helped Hobie take down the Vulture, a Lizard, and the Green Goblin. She can handle some weirdo trying to stalk her. She’s dealt with worse.

She takes a shaky breath and finishes her shower.

When she exits the bathroom to the living room, Hobie’s sitting on her couch in his casual clothes just waiting for her. His head looks up as he hears her footsteps.

“Good?” He asks softly pressing a soft kiss to her temple.

She nods, “Just exhausted now.” She tells him truthfully.

“No one followed, promise.” He says as he stands up and stretches, “Go to bed, I’ll be in there soon. I need to shower.”

She gets up to grab him an extra towel and tosses it to him. “Your extra clothes are in the top drawer.” She tells him.

“I know!” he smiles brightly and pops into her room shuffling for some spare clothes before he closes the door to her bathroom.

She double checks to make sure her doors are locked, front and patio. When she’s satisfied she finally crawls into her bed. She tries to wait for Hobie but it’s a losing fight against the heaviness of her lids. She feels the weight shift as he gets under the covers and she rolls to find his body heat, but she’s already blissfully asleep. The last coherent thing she can remember is his arms slotting around her waist.

The next shift she has isn’t until that following Tuesday. It’s one of their slowest nights and honestly, they tend to only keep one bartender on.

She’s alone behind the bar, with one waiter and maybe about twenty patrons. It’s been a very slow night.

It’s around one in the morning and she needs to take out the trash behind the bar. She ties it all up, tells Mark, the waiter on shift, she’ll be right back.

Once she’s out back by the dumpster, she has that sinking feeling again. Like she’s being watched…or hunted.

She tosses the trash into the dumpster and before she can even turn around to look at her surroundings, she hears screaming and sees people running out of the pub. She doesn’t get a chance to see what’s happening before the pub explodes.

The explosion sends her across the pavement, rolling and debris falling on her. Everything hurts, searing pain goes down her body and she feels like she’s spinning. She can’t hear anything besides the ringing in her ears. She tries to open her eyes, but all she sees is smoke and fire.

She doesn’t even know where she is in comparison. The pub seems so far away, but too close at the same time.

She needs to push herself up, she has to get out, she’ll suffocate from the smoke if she doesn’t.

Her body barely moves and the burning pain that shoots up her right leg tells her it’s broken. She looks down and sees a large chunk of the brick wall is on her right leg. She squeezes her eyes shut and tries to think, but everything is spinning behind her eyes and she thinks she’s going to vomit from it all.

First things first, she has to at least pry herself out from under the wall debris.

She manages to sit herself upright and starts lifting what she can. It’s not as if the whole wall fell on her, but it’s big enough that her arms are shaking. She’s able to lift enough to shimmy herself out, but it hurts so much she’s sobbing. Once her broken leg is far enough away she drops the wall back down roughly and she falls flat on her back. Taking in deep breathes.

There’s still smoke everywhere and she needs to try to crawl away.

She sees yellow and green lights fly above her, quick and speedy and not normal street lights. She would know those lights anywhere. It was the bottom of the Goblin’s glider.

Suddenly she’s being swooped up off the ground and is flung in the air. She thinks it’s Hobie for a moment, but when she can finally open her eyes she’s staring at the mask of the Goblin.

“What-” she tries to talk but the smoke filled in her lungs makes her hack like crazy.

The Goblin jostles her and she shrieks, they cackle in response.

She struggles against them, shoving herself and trying to kick with her one good leg. “Let me go!” She spits out trying to shimmy herself away.

The Goblin’s flying on their glider faster than Hobie swings her above the city. Maybe this wasn’t her best idea, but it had to be better than being kidnapped.

“You’ll get put down, eventually.” They say in a clipped tone that makes her feel like they are talking about putting down an animal instead. It sends a shudder down her back.

She’s starting to panic and she has no idea where she even is. Suddenly the glider has a force pulling on it, and it almost sends her flying towards the ground. The Goblin’s grip on her is tight, almost bruising.

She tries to look for the source but she hears it before she sees it.

“Kidnapping now? That’s how low you’ve stooped?” It’s Hobie. His words might be the usual light joking tease he pulls when he fights, but the way he says it isn’t. His voice is hard and short.

He’s angry, in fact, she doesn’t know if she’s ever heard this tone in his voice.

“Looks like the Spider found it’s bait!” The Goblin cackles out, easily cutting away the webs to fly above.

“If you want her you better cast your web Spider-Man! The clocks ticking.” The Goblin goads him. He flies off and in the distance, MJ can see it.

It’s the Old York clock tower. It’s the highest structure in the city. Suddenly she feels her stomach drops. She shivers and the adrenaline shoots through her. Out of all the things she thought would happen today, being tossed off a clock tower like a rag doll wasn’t on it.

She starts to thrash against the Goblin but they just tighten their grip, and MJ feels the pain shoot through her broken leg. She cries out in pain.

“Mariana!” She hears Hobie shout for her, voice loud.

The Goblin flies to the top of the clock tower and hovers, waiting. Hobie lands on the tower, sticking to the side and glares up.

She feels the Goblin move her and dangle her above the city. “I’m tired of these games we play Spider-Man, and I’m getting tired of your little friend either interfering with my other chess pieces or almost killing me.” They hiss out.

MJ is clawing onto the arms of the Goblin tightly, she’s never been more afraid than in this moment. She bites back a sob.

“Not so brave now are you? You little brat!” the Goblin yells pulling her up to their face.

“Leave her alone, she has nothin’ to do with me! She’s just a random woman.” Hobie growls out, trying to dissuade the Goblin from doing anything drastic.

“Oh please, she’s important to you. You think you’re so smart, the both of you.” They say glaring down at MJ.

“You sent me to the hospital… I almost died because of that little flare gun stunt you pulled. You didn’t think I could see you, in the smoke, right? I made the tech on this suit, of course it can see through smog and smoke! I saw every little detail on your face little girl…and I’ll see your fear when I end your life.” They snarl to her.

Hobie tries to move to grab her, but the Goblin whips their head to look at him, releasing one hand from her to hover over the bombs on their belt.

MJ looks at the Goblin, and her own stubbornness might be the death of her but she doesn’t care, she’s more angry than scared right now. A fierce glare covers her face, replacing any other emotion. She sees the bombs that the Goblin’s hand hovers over on the utility belt and she gets an idea, it’s stupid, but it’s better than nothing. She erratically flings herself, to grab for one of the bombs on the Goblin’s belt and because their only gripping onto her with one hand, she succeeds surprisingly.

“I’m not afraid of a monster who hides behind a stupid goblin mask and bombs… and for the record, maybe don’t carry all your bombs underneath your glider where it’s an easy target.” She bites out. She hits the button to activate the bomb.

The Goblin, either in fear or shock, loosens their grip and drops her. It’s what she wants. She throws the bomb up, and it contacts the bottom of the glider. This time, a much bigger explosion than what her flare gun had set off.

She feels herself falling, she can’t see much beyond the smoke. She feels a little dumb in maybe her last moments, she thinks maybe her life should be flashing before her eyes but it’s not.

All she can really think about… is Hobie.

Beyond the smoke, she sees something falling towards her. She can’t make it out but it’s coming towards her quickly. She hopes its not the glider, she can’t dodge that in the air and she’d rather gravity be her demise than anything from the Goblin.

It’s not though, it’s Hobie. She sees his Spider-Man mask first as he falls towards her. Arms stretched out to grab her.

She laughs, it’s not funny, she’s just hysterical right now. She reaches toward him. Her barrels into her, wrapping his body around her tightly. She clings her arms to him, and feels the momentum of them falling together.

He keeps a good grip on her and shoots out a web, hurling them somewhere else.

She really might puke, she probably will once this is all over.

Hobie takes his time, swinging them and shooting different webs to slow down their momentum until their both safe on the ground. He lays her down, holding her head.

“What the actual fuck is wrong with you?!” He says in a clipped tone, but she can hear the fear behind his voice.

She’s breathing heavily, trying to calm down her own heart rate. “I… I need a hospital.” She says before turning away from him and vomiting on the street.

He picks her up gently when she’s done and goes in the direction of the nearest hospital, which thankfully isn’t far.

“What were you thinking? You could have died Mariana…” He hisses out to her, voice shaking.

She shakes her head, “They blew up the pub Hobie…they were trying to kill me…I was just taking them out with me.” She replies, voice raw and quiet.

“Fuck, Mariana…” He whispers to her. He’s looking ahead, he can’t look at her right now or he’ll crack. She can feel him shaking.

“It’s okay, I’m okay…we’re okay.” She tells him.

He’s shaking his head aggressively. “It’s not okay, none of this is okay. You almost died because of me.” He says in a tight voice.

He makes it to the hospital and rushes in, immediately the A&E staff are up and rushing over to them. He hands Mariana over to them. She starts to shove the workers away from her, this conversation isn’t over.

“Don’t you dare push me away because of this! Do you hear me?!” she shouts after him, as she is being dragged away to a room to be looked at.

“I’m serious! You promised!” She disappears behind the doors and the last thing she sees is Hobie flinch at her words.

The nurses that surround her are actively looking and prodding her, she cries as they touch her broken leg, and in the midst of everything the adrenaline stops and the exhaustion takes over.

Suddenly the world goes black.

Tag List: @missshelleyduvall

Message if you would like to be added to the tag list!

[kodoku-roxi]

(1/2)

I said I’d come back with an update, right? Right. This post is about health and i will write another one after this one about the more important things ( i have a new laptop!!! and it’s amazing :DDD )

So my state health is fine, I am fine, I didn’t lose any internal organs, (I just... that was my biggest fear, ok) and my back doesn’t hurt anymore, witch is fantastic!! 

I had to stop drinking coffee, and you know, you can’t stop drinking coffee instantly... in a day.... you can’t do that. It was bad. 

And I had as well to stop my regular meds so I could take the NEW meds for the problem I was having….. fun! my body didn’t like that. And now it's been a week since I returned to the previous meds, and you know, again, my body didn’t like that. If I had a nickel for every time I stopped taking my meds for a period of time and then went back on them and instead of helping me not to pass out on the middle of the street it made me feel worse.. I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot but let’s just say that it happened only 2 times.

I had terrible insomnia. It was worst than ever, literally only one or 2 or 4 hours a day of sleep for like 2 weeks. The walls were moving, and I had the feeling that the door was opening from time to time, sometimes even seeing it opening for a second, and the room was spinning, but that’s normal for me, it happens right now when I’m moving my head

So I was in the kitchen, making some tea and the house owner saw my condition, and that I could barely walk.... she. called. my. mom. Let me tell you something, she almost kicked me out when I had the first dose of the vaccine because I was feeling sick as fuck and I couldn’t take her grandson to the school bla bla, this woman doesn’t give a fuck about my well being. Anyway, her act made me realize how dead I was looking and how serious the problem was.. However, mom didn't help me at all. But I had already talked to the mother of a friend who works as a nurse (as far as I remember…) and she helped me a lot, i mean i knew what i had to do but talking with her (through my friend, i couldn’t talk directly with her...) made me less scared and she told me to take some extra stuff. Even Mariana helped me with the correct painkillers... my mother came to me with some things that didn’t helped me with the condition I had, I told her “ok but at least.. can you bring me some painkillers (i told her the pills i take for pain, she knows well what pills i take for this but noooo she brings me paracetamol sinus instead of nurofen express forte because why the fuck not) and bonus she told me that she will talk to the doctor in more details but she didn’t, and this is the second time when she does this. I don’t have my doc’s phone number, she does, and one day I will ask her to give me doc’s number, one day. Idk what’s with my mom... she’s a smart woman... why is she doin this, she drives me crazy sometimes.

Now I’m doin well, I am ignoring her most of the time since then because it seems to me, more and more, that we are a family only on paper, I will not stop talking with her because she has cancer and i need to know that she’s fine and i have to help her when she needs help

Anyway I’m no longer in pain, i repaired my sleep, kind of, but my mental state is more unstable. Fortunately, i can deal with this, i know what to do, so this is not a problem. I can say that i am ready to come back to share my drawings and maybe i will write some stuff to end a certain story and honestly i will start talking more, most because i will stop stressing about my english, i’m just tired... this was supposed to be my happy place, yeah i will try to control my anxiety, surprisingly im tired of being stressed about anything and everything all of the time

a little bit of everything all of the time, apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime, anything and everything all of the time -

[alkalinefrog]

If you were to make a Lawlight playlist, what songs would you have on it?

OHOHO ohhh man, bless you for this ask

Ok, I wanted to tell the story of their relationship from when they first meet, their cat-and-mouse rivalry, their bonding during yotsuba arc, the betrayal, making up, and wrap it all up with a happy ending! I’m also really into making playlists with fun transitions between songs.

Here ya go, listen to them in order for the full experience! I made a youtube playlist for it here

Fight the War - Kittie Harloe

Teeth - 5 Seconds of Summer

Such a Whore (Stellular Remix) - JVLA (this one’s optional lol)

Made for You - OneRepublic

Great Big Storm - Nathan Ruess

Read My Mind - The Killers

Someone To You - BANNERS

Geronimo - Sheppard

You Light My Fire - Nate Ruess

If I Lose Myself - OneRepublic

The Death of Me - Marianas Trench

Porcelain - Marianas Trench

Lights Out, Words Gone - Bombay Bicycle Club

Lost My Mind - Alice Kristiansen

Blood // Water - grandson

Lions and Dragons - Zach Williams

To Build a Home - The Cinematic Orchestra

Only the Lonely Survive - Marianas Trench

If you listen to it, lemme know what you think! If you wanna know more about each song choice, read my play-by-play expo below the cut!

Fight the War - Pre-relationship! The cat-and-mouse chase. The game of chess. Catch me if you can! Not romantic yet, we’re setting the stage!

Teeth - This one’s pretty self-explanatory LMAO. Their first meeting and it’s electric! They hate each other, but they’re catching feelings, and they hate that they’re catching feelings.

Such a Whore (Stellular Remix) - Aight, hear me out. Their relationship’s got layers. This one’s super love/hate and spicy lol. It’s pretty self-indulgent. You can omit this one if you want, it’s admittedly the weakest link in terms of playlist flow.

Made For You - Still dancing around one another, sizing the other up. (also love the church-like vocals at the end. Perfectly eerie! It really fits the themes of the show) --- and I’m REAL PROUD of the transition here between songs

Great Big Storm - Yotsuba arc time! Tonal shift! This one’s sort of when their relationship transitions into something more genuine; more supportive. Things start to get more joyful! I see it as mostly from Light’s perspective, especially the verse lyrics about falling asleep --- “But sometimes I fall sleep at night, and I just know you're smiling at me / Oh, one day I'm gonna make this up to you“

Read My Mind - They’re stuck together 24/7. They can’t avoid talking, man. But the more they talk, the more they find they intuitively understand the other. They start not-so-subtly flirting (”A subtle kiss that no one sees”) ---- also love this line for them: “Woman, open the door, don't let it sting /  I wanna breathe that fire again“

These next few are just more relationship vibes! Bonding time!

Someone To You - L’s POV! He’s falling, and falling HARD. He wants to come out of the shadows for Light-- to give him the world! I imagine that this is still all in his head. Daydreaming about what could be!

Geronimo - Deciding to take the plunge! I imagine this like a montage.

You Light My Fire - CELEBRATE! Both of them are super giddy! I like the lyrics about going to bed after a fight for them! “I wanna throw the fight and kiss away your pain tonight But that would only make this harder She can't stand to sleep alone, ah no, and I hate losing so I wait till we get tired“

If I Lose Myself - First-time vibes :’D awww

The Death of Me - They wake up one day and realize: “Oh. Oh no. This is a bad idea, a really REALLY bad idea--- but I can’t help it!” Tonal shift back and forth from hype to introspective back to hype for the internal argument. The lyrics are pretty on the nose lol. (the end of the song also has some creepy whispering ‘cuz it’s supposed to be listened to in the context of the album, but it helps lead into the next song SO WELL.)

Porcelain - This is a moment of weakness. Someone slips up; something’s brought to the light. They’re only human. No going back now.

Lights Out, Words Gone - Angst time! They comforted each other during the last song, but neither of them like being vulnerable. They have a lot of work to do if this is going to last. They make up by the end of the song. Love the lyrics about lies! Pretty apt for these two: “Keep your old and wasted word My heart is breaking like you heard But the town has always turned These lies and made them all burn”

Lost My Mind - Gently falling deeper and deeper. Too fast; too soon. They know they’re running out of time, but it’s so easy to ignore that when they’re with each other.

Blood // Water - KIRA’S BACK. BETRAYAL. REALITY COMES CRASHING DOWN. (I really like the transition into this one)

Lions and Dragons - The aftermath of the betrayal. Light’s the Dragon, breathing fire, and L’s the Lion, burned. “I lost you again And I lost my mind And I told folks that they Shouldn't call for a while You should write me one evening And point out all the problems that happened But I'll still wait and dream That you are the lion and I am the dragon” (lowkey, this was my go-to breakup song in college lol)

To Build a Home - They’ve both hurt and been hurt. They’ll never forget, because if they did their forgiveness would be meaningless. Light remembers everything he’s done -- he’ll never not be Kira. But they’re ready to move forward. They’ve chosen each other.

Only the Lonely Survive - Bringing the mood back up! I couldn’t not end this on something upbeat. They deserve to have some fun! Love the lyrics in this one for them! They’ve accepted what their relationship will always be, and embrace it! (I also love that the harmonization makes it sound like they’re singing to each other) “I don't know how you feel yourself But I'd rather hurt here than be happy somewhere else No one will scar me like you do But no one will ever be compared, compared to you” -------AND “But I know A love like this will end in tragedy You know Every kiss suspendin' gravity Burns us both To love this close We lose ourselves And I know we won't get out alive But only the lonely survive” (If I can find the time I’d love to animate them singing this chorus)

And that’s that! If you want an album for Lawlight vibes, I highly recommend “Phantoms” by Marianas Trench. It was hard not to just copy/paste all the songs from it into the playlist.

[waywardimpalawriter]

“I’m done. I’m done trying so hard only for you to never even look in my direction.”

With Marcus Pike? Maybe BFFs to lovers because I want it to end happy? Thank you 🙏

Love of his life

Pairing: Marcus Pike x best friend!Female Reader

Characters: Marcus Pike,

Setting: five years after the last episode Marcus was in.

Rating: PG:13

Warnings: 2,774

Summary: Conversation overheard leads to feelings of regret at the chance not taken. Will he take that risk and go for who he wants or let it slide away just like the past?

Word count:

Notes: Written for the lovely @hnt-escape asking for the prompt “I’m done. I’m done trying so hard only for you to never even look in my direction.” Will be in bold in the story. I hope you enjoy sweetie.

Tag List:

Forever tags: @chickensarentcheap @jedi-mando

Pedro Pascal tags: @evyiione

Staring into the caramel colored liquid ceramic mug warming your hands, thoughts clouded by a certain brown eyed man and how to handle the feelings you’ve harbored since grade school.

“Trying to divine this weeks lotta numbers from you coffee sweetie?” Soothing southern accented voice breaks through the fog smile in the sweet lilt.

Head snapping up to look towards the blonde, grin firmly in place over her ruby lips, “I wish, would donate at least half to research the antiquities we have that no one’s cataloged yet.”

“Wow devoted,” chuckling, walking over to the Keurig k-cup spinner to pluck the last Colombian dark roast pod. “What or should I say who’s on that gorgeous your mind that’s got your brow furrowed deeper than the Mariana Trench?”

Not wishing to discuss your thoughts right now, you deflect to ask, “Those things waste so much Donna and bad for the environment. Why don’t you just buy the bulk grounds?”

“Great way to keep from answering the true question,” baby blues lock, sincerity written deep and meaningful. Knowing she’s only trying to help having confided many times your dilemma those feelings you’ve held on to for so long brings about. “I don’t know why you haven’t told him sugar I mean you came to DC…”

“For this job Donna, Marcus turned up later… not much later,” last few words muttered into cooling coffee you try to hide behind while taking a sip. “I didn’t upheave my life for a man,” not sure who you’re trying to convince more yourself or Donna.

Established in your position at the museum a month before Marcus’s transfer and at the time he’s heavily invested with one Teresa Lisbon. Memories flood through like film reel before your eyes. Of that very night he comes to you heartbroken bags in hand with no one beside him and no real place to go. Promising yourself to shove your feelings aside and help him get back on steady legs. Even letting him stay till his place became ready to move in.

Loud snort greets your ears, breaking you from memory lane. “You keep telling yourself that and while you’re at it keeping him friend zoned when your clearly in love with him does neither one of you any good. He ain’t gonna wait around forever sugar trust me on that one,” hurt coloring her tone speaking volumes of her own pain. She looks away to watch the final drops of coffee land in her mug. You know exactly why she’s not looking at your right now, the hurt she tries to hide behind the bubbly personality. Fixing her coffee up just the way she likes to hide her own pain she’s shared a few times.

“How,” licking your lips slowly, mug placed beside you on the counter to clasp your hands in front of you. “I’m not even sure how or where to start Donna. He’s my best friend knows me inside and out I don’t…”

“Do you love him?” Simple question with no easy answer as grey blue eyes land on and pierce you with their intensity.

“I…” wringing those hands her question chases thoughts around your head. Finally giving the heart answer, “I love him, just unsure if he loves me in the same way. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to change the dynamics of our relationship and loose what we have for a what if.”

“Oh sweetheart I know it’s not easy to bank on what if’s but trust me when I say that man loves you in ways I’ve never seen and I’ve seen a lot.” Giving you a teasing wink then sobering, “Why do ya think I haven’t tried to snag him up myself?”

“Cause he’s not your type?” Joke sounding stupid to your own ears, glaze dropping to your shoes. “What if… what if I’m not his type? I mean you’ve seen the women he’s gone out with before. I’m hardly in the same league.”

“No your in a league of your own sugar.” Head nodding in understanding Donna comes over resting a hand on your bicep giving a gentle squeeze. “Compensating maybe even trying to replace the one he truly wants sweetheart. Don’t let a good man slip away especially since you love him.”

“I do, he’s,” head shaking at a loss for words to describe Marcus. “Amazing and sweet, the kind of man that’s so easy to love and care for. I’m lost truly without him.” Happy tears blur your vision for a moment thinking about him. How he’s always at your side just when you need him without notice at times. Sixth sense when you need those late night pancakes from the best diner in town. Watching old movies after a crappy break up, snuggled together with popcorn and beer, snacks of all kinds. Snap shot of his face filters across your vision, “I’m gonna tell him in fact,” glancing down at your watch finding end of day fast approaching. “Would you close down for me Donna I need to tell him now before loosing my nerve.”

“Don’t have to ask me twice sugar go get your man,” nodding towards the doorway you start for, coffee long forgotten in favor of someone more sweeter. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t.”

“There’s things you wouldn’t do?” Cheeky grin highlighting your features, the sound of crinkling plastic reaching your ears so you look down. Frown replacing the smile at finding a small bouquet of blue tipped carnations laying on the ground. Bending to scoop up the beautiful flowers knowing only one man would’ve brought these. “Shit,” curse flying from your mouth while your feet start to eat up the distance towards the back doors bouquet held firmly in your grasp.

Missing Donna yelling about your keys and belongings, to not forget about the storm rumbling in the background. Wide smile forming watching you go hoping you’ll catch Marcus just in time.

While you pray with each step taken you’ll catch him in time to explain. Thoughts running rampant wondering what he heard and didn’t. If the reason for the dropped flowers has to do with the fact he thinks you love someone else. That last thought spurs you on into a run, thankful for the flats you wore today instead of customary heels you normally wear. Eating up the distance you burst through the back doors into a curtain of rain meeting your eyes as more curses fly from your lips. You pause eyes narrowing through the gloom looking for Marcus’s car, his back, hair surely plastered to against his head. Something to point you in the right direction. At the right moment a flash of lighting illuminating the darken skies, makes you jump but press on determined to find him. While stepping out into the pouring rain, clothes soaked through low rumblings of thunder taking your calls out for Marcus away with the howling wind.

Tears form and slide down cool cheeks, still franticly looking around but coming up empty till you catch the flash of grey out of your periphery. Whipping around you head in the direction calling out his name praying there’s a break in the rain so your voice carries to his ears.

And for a moment that one split second he catches a sound other than the storm raging around him. Sweet desperate voice calling out his name, giving him pause in dragging footsteps. Looking around but seeing nothing but the driving rain, drops soaking his suit and blurring his vision. Before turning to resume his path the voice calls out again, nearer and stronger than the last time.

His doubts cloud the mind, accusing him of hearing things the wind brings from other parts of the parking lot. Till a vision dressed in black slacks, creamy silk blouse, hair and clothes plasters to your body appears in front of him. Hand raised in the vain attempt to keep the rain from your face as you search for him.

Eyes lock surprised deep chocolate orbs meet the relief in yours, “You’re gonna get sick sweetheart go back inside.”

“No,” single word yelled out as you near Marcus, gripping his bicep and moving closer to speak into his ear. Warm breath making him shiver despite the cold rain trying to drown the both of you. “Why’d you leave?”

“Saw you busy didn’t want…” shaking your head Marcus swallows catching sight of the flowers in your free hand.

“You dropped these why?” Hurt lacing the tone in your voice as you bring the small plastic wrapped bundle up between you. “Thank you.”

Eyes dart between the flowers and your eyes unsure how to answer your question as so many of his own chase around his mind. Wanting the truth Marcus gather’s his courage to ask, “Do you love him?”

Confusion coats your veins, drawing up your brows with the same emotion till it clicks. “Yes, very much in fact you just doesn’t know it.”

“I’m done,” pain etched into his voice heart aching behind its prison of bone and flesh. Misunderstanding the look in your eyes and the words your spoke. “I’m done trying so hard only for you to never even look in my direction. I just can’t do it anymore it’s so much worse than any of the other.” Taking two steps back from your touch that sears the skin under heavy suit jacket and starch white cotton dress shirt. Gaze dropping to concrete unable to look into your eyes a second longer knowing he’s lost the chance. Internally cursing himself for waiting so long, letting other’s in his heart when the one woman he’s wanted all along stood by him through all life’s ups and downs.

Frowning at the loss of touch, his words sinking in you step forward he matches with one back. “Marcus,” soft achingly tender voice reaches out towards him. Heard now the rain has slowed to light drizzle. “Do you know how long I’ve waited to tell you I love you? Not as a brother or best friend, but in love with you.”

“What?” Single word choked off on a gasp, eyes reaching your smiling orbs trying to find the jest. Only seeing genuine love backed by worry and fear that he doesn’t truly have the same feelings. “You never told me.”

“You didn’t tell me either Pike so we’re kinda in the same boat,” carefully reaching out for his nearest hand tugging him back towards you. “So many times I’d try to tell you, to explain, to see if there’s a chance for us. Every time someone else got my shot. I gave up almost for good this time.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Moving closer, warm palm coming up to cup your cheek from apple to jawline. Thump brushing slowly over soft delicate skin drowning in your eyes as you rubbing your cheek into his large palm. “Never would’ve guess you felt the same way.”

Not sure how to answer the first question, so you joke instead. “Not only good at picking out a fake piece of art but putting on a good show.” Trying to infuse a little lightheartedness into the tense moment. “Gonna call Oscar see if they’ll give me one of those little golden guys for my performance. Not Ingrid Bergman worthy but I can hold my own,” nervous little laugh leaving your lips that Marcus brushes his thumb over the bottom lip. Stuck dumb by the action breath shallow before held while trying to depict the emotions running through those sweet brown eyes. “Say some Marcus.”

The tremor in your voice shakes the shocked cobwebs from his mind to focus his thoughts. Picking up that you haven’t answered his first question, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Which time?” Breathy sigh leaving your mouth as you try to gather the right words. “Not to mention your my best friend Marcus I didn’t want to fuck that up especially if you didn’t feel the same way,” taking a breath fresh rain mixes with the warm subtle cologne Marcus wears. “Couldn’t risk loosing you and changing our relationship for a what if.”

“And now?” Cupping the other side of your face, keeping your chin tilted upward, eyes searching the depths of yours. Finding the peace he’s missed out on with everyone who came before. Home written in your embrace, sweet light flora scent wrapping around his senses reminding him of just who he needs.

Swallowing, pink tongue coming out to wet your lips, a path he follows with rapt attention. “I recently became enlightened by a good friend reminding me sometimes you need to take those chances.” Both arms wrap around his neck, flowers still clutched tightly, free hand carding through rain soaked strands at the back of his head. Blunt nails scratching gently over Marcus’s neck receiving a shiver that vibrates through your body and has nothing to do with the cool air or wet clothing.

“And you want to take that leap with me?” Inching closer with barely a millimeter’s breath between your lips. Eyes still wide open assuring each other and finally showing the truth and need.

“I think this is the beginning of a beautiful love affair,” cheeky smile splitting your face at the crinkles appearing at the corners of his eyes. Knowing full well you’ve gotten the quote wrong on purpose.

“Here’s looking at you kid,” deepened voice sending tingles of excitement racing down your spine. Slightest brush of his chapped lips to yours bringing a sigh and parting your mouth that’s captured and devoured.

Angling your head just right as he licks into your sweet coffee tasting mouth mixing the minty freshness of his. Low groan whispers between your lips, which moves and changes. Nibbling his bottom lip, slipping your tongue over the bruised skin to sooth before sliding back into the warm cavern of his delectable mouth. Dreams having no merit on the real kiss that makes your toes curl a moan of your own existing to join with the groan he’s let loose. Air becoming much needed and you part to rest foreheads together.

“I love you to have for a long time,” admitting his feelings frees a part of him held back for so long. “I’m sorry for all the missed opportunities but if you’ll let me I’ll make them all up to you.”

“Start by taking me home to change then out for pancakes,” bright smile blooming over your lips that press into his. Unable to stop yourself from giving another tender kiss while wrapping your arms around his shoulders tighter. “And kisses lots more kisses,” mumbling the words into his mouth while initiating another kiss for emphasis.

Only breaking when someone clears their throat you both turn to see Donna standing there with your purse in hand. “No making out in the parking lot you two take it home,” grinning extending your purse towards you. “Just remember don’t do anything I would,” before turning to start back towards the museum. “Congratulations by the way took y’all long enough.”

“There’s things you’d do I wouldn’t Donna,” you call after her shaking your head before looking back up at Marcus. Catching the look burning in his eyes, “I’m guessing pancakes won’t happen tonight huh?”

Soft smirk slides over those kiss swollen lips, “Later but right now I have other plans.” Tugging you against his chest for one last deep drugging kiss that leaves you weak kneed and panting.

“Care to share those plans?” Snuggling into his arms as you both head the last short distance to his car.

Opening then crowding you into the corner of the door hands braced on either side to lean in placing a soft chase kiss to your cheek. “Making up for all the missed time and then later,” pausing to brush his lips over your ear. Whispering the last words with gentle puffs of air floating across your skin. “I’ll make you those pancakes and lick the syrup from your lips afterwards and any other place you’ll let me.”

“Only if you’ll let me return the flavor,” mischievous smile stretching across your lips, ducking under his arms to slide into the car. Finding him still standing there, you tug on his jacket gaining his attention.

Darken eyes meet yours, “I’ll even paint you like one of my French girls,” sending you a playful wink while closing the car door and running around to the drivers side. Marcus slides in, key slipping into ignition, simple flick of his wrist the car flares to life and he’s backing out heading for home and a new start filled with promise.

[youwontlikethisblog]

Locura Mia <3

Remember when Betty clarified everything to Mario and Armando about Nicolas role in Terra Moda and general manager?

She let them know that though Nicolas did manage Terra Moda that he didn't do anything without her say and that she was still the legal representative of Terra Moda.

One: that sets aside the fear of Betty giving too much responsibilities to Nicolas for the sake of him noticing her as she clears the air that she is the one with the last say.

Two: that Nicolas has Betty blinded.

This is both Mario's and Armando's worry, they talked about it at the cocktail the night before and Betty goes to clear the air so they aren't worried or distrusting of them.

However they still decide to enact the sinister plan.

When Armando realizes that Betty potentially cares for him as more than her boss its when the guilt of hurting sets in but when he hears Betty speaking on the phone with Nicolas he decides that he will make Betty fall in love with him.

Now, I want to make it clear that Armando is not in love with Betty. He's confused about his feelings. As well that Armando is worried about Eco Moda, the future of it, and his. That's why he agrees to do that.

Later that night when Betty returns to the meeting room after having spoken to Nicolas she tells them that because she's staying to work that he{Nic] will be going to talk and deal with the lawyer and Armando gets mad at her but she explains why it's important that they do that and Mario agrees.

Then Armando tells Betty to bring him the entire bottle of whisky and she asks if he's well and that he's drinking too much which he tells her to bring it to him.

When she leaves the room Armando tells Mario that she's no longer listening to him or obeying him.

This again proves again that Armando isn't solely worried about the company as now his subconscious is the one leading as he now worries that Nicolas is taking Betty from him.

I do believe that Armando would have fallen in love with Betty regardless of Eco Moda and Terra Moda.

What we have seen so far(before Nicolas was introduced as the love interest of Betty) was Armando slowly building a friendship with Betty as he was also developing feelings for her but all of a sudden these small moments of him just simply liking to spend time with Betty at the office and letting his guard down and letting her into his personal life come crashing into a wall of realization that he isn't ready to face and when he is being forced to face it he decides to deny it. Had it not happened like that I do think he would have ended up falling in love with her in the long run.

As a writer you have to think of all the possibilities that can happen. A scene you write has different alternative endings and you always go with the best one that pushes the story and the intensity forward.

So when watching the romance begin I often wonder what could have been of that scene and where that could have lead the story. When his original secretary quit because she fell in love with him the girls told Betty that Armando was never even aware of it and that he didn't even pay attention to her, it is a fact that Armando doesn't like getting involved with the employee's of Eco Moda so we can assume that it was true. After all when Bertha mentioned that Mariana had foretold that she'd quite her job Armando didn't even look fazed by it. He had no micro expressions or reaction to that. It was as if it wasn't important to him that she quit or why.

She wasn't important to him and she didn't really matter at all as he tells Betty that if she were to leave Eco Moda he would miss her.

Armando is hella drunk here. His eyes are droopy, he can't stand straight at times and he looks like he wants to run out of there.

Betty despite her feelings is trying to keep everything professional. When Armando tells her that they should cheer for something Betty cheer's for Eco Moda, now here Armando is acting. He isn't really talking with the heart.

I often talk about Armando but I am honestly so excited to finally start talking about Betty and her complexities because this romance isn't just from Armando's perspective but Betty's too and she deserves to be talked about more.

From previous episodes we know Betty had a relationship with a guy named Miguel. We know this because when Roman asked her to go out with them for the night as a joke Betty mentioned it after her Don Hermes didn't let her go and later that night after she got stood up she wrote in her diary something that personally moved me a lot.

"When will someone give me the opportunity to give them my love?"

Most times when we're watching a romantic drama or reading one we get this trope of the main character wanting to be loved themselves. They're searching for someone to love them because they've got this idea that love is meant on what others can give you. Armando is like that. He bases love on what others can give you, just like his parents and Marcela is the exact same way however real love isn't like that at all. That's being selfish.

Real love is wanting to give yourself without expecting anything in return and that's how we see Betty show her love towards Armando but the reason why it moved me so much to hear Betty say that is because she wasn't looking for someone to love her but instead she wanted to give her love, she wanted someone to give her the chance to give all the love she knew she could give to them. Betty, our sweet and kind Betty wasn't looking to be selfish in love.

However because of the fact that she did once love someone, she gave her love to someone who didn't appreciate it and just used her Betty is traumatized. It wasn't just heartbreak that she dealt with but she dealt with a humiliation that broke down her self-esteem more, ruined her self worth and killed her.

Though Betty knows she's "ugly" to people and that because of that no man will ever notice her, she believed that her love, the love she could give, would make someone love her. She believes that real love isn't based on physical attraction but rather a deep rooted spiritual connection with someone. Betty has a very beautiful understanding of love.

So it isn't just because her parents raised her to be a decent human with morals that she is keeping things professional but as a defense mechanism.

She is keeping herself away so she won't suffer again but her emotions start to win over after Armando asks her to dance.

She leans her head closer to him, not resting it on his shoulder, and we hear her inner monologue of "I can't believe it." in a hopeful and shocked tone while Armando's inner monologue is the same words his tone is disgusted.

He is disgusted to be so close to Betty, that he is dancing with an "ugly"(I always put quotation marks when I refer to Betty as ugly because she is very gorgeous to me!) woman.

When they return to the table Betty, as a concerned employee but also someone who is secretly in love with her boss respectfully tells Armando to forgive her for not minding her business but that he's drinking too much and he has to drive.

Notice the shift in tone from Armando's voice. Before he asked Betty to dance and they were talking Armando's tone was superficial. It was manipulative but this time it's careless and he's annoyed.

Again here you can notice in the same scene that shift as he lies to Betty and tells her "I'm enjoying my drinking" he shifts to look at her so they can talk better and his emotions give way here as he says "or what is it? What's your problem, Betty?" his facial expression switches to anger as he asks her in an accusing tone "or what am I so boring?"

Betty quickly tells him no "It's not that."

"Then explain it to me. Since Calderon left all you've wanted is for us to not drink, to not dance, to not do this or that. Beatriz, tell me, am I boring guy?"

I recalled Armando talking to Marcela once(when they were going to decide whether they got married though the church or court) and he told her "It's not about me. Are you sure you want to be married to me for life? I'm a really boring guy and you know that."

Here we can tell the difference in how Armando views these two women. While with Marcela he doesn't care that he's a boring guy, he does care that Betty doesn't think of him that way.

You can argue that Armando is drunk therefore he doesn't know what he's saying but he's manipulative by nature. He can do that sober or drunk and we saw that already in the scene before he asked Betty to dance. Besides have you ever heard the saying that toddlers and drunks have one thing in common and it's that they both can piss their pants but speak the truth.

Armando is a lot more drunk than he was at the start of the night with just him and Betty.

Once again Betty reassures Armando and in a loving voice tells him No , but that she understand he is worried for the company, marcela and that he is in a place unusual for him and with company he's not used to.

Really pay attention to Armando's tone. It constantly shifts from being natural to being forced. You can pick up when he is lying and being manipulative to it being honest.

Before I continue this I want to bring a detail I've noticed that came full circle the night of the museum.

Betty often tells Armando not to explain things, that she understands him. Armando however, unlike with Marcela who he just gaslights and manipulates, with Betty he constantly wants to explain things and talk them through, but Betty telling him that he understand him holds a lot of weight in their conversations because she truly does.

Armando takes in a deep breath, squints his eyes at her, before he speaks. He's thinking of what to say to her and trying to figure her out because unlike all the other women who Armando has been with(it's not because of what he said that he didn't know how to seduce an ugly woman) Betty isn't responding to any of his advances. She continues to keep things professional and behaves like a concerned employee so naturally Armando is confused and trying to figure a way to make things work.

He agrees with her about the first thing she said but disagrees about him not being in a place he'd enjoy that he's having a good time and all of that was said in a natural tone but when he leans closer and whispers drunklike "and as for the company." He widens his eyes and tells her "I love it."

Betty's eyes grow wide and she looks at him and then around. She looks surprised but also scared.

She tells him that she thinks he should drink slower or mix his drink with water and he chuckles at that.

"You're not coordinating with what you're saying."

"What? How am I not coordinating with what I'm saying?" He has a smirk on his face and turns to look at her, making eye contact he tells her "'cause I tell you Beatriz" he switches from openly speaking to now whispering as he finishes off by saying "I enjoying being with you." he says looking around the room. This represents the actual dilema he is facing. We know he does like spending time with Betty, especially in the previous days so we know that's true but notice how he was able to talk so openly before until he had to admit that he likes spending time with her. He whispered it to her and looked around the room. He knows he's somewhere that none of his friends or people in his social circle would be in so he isn't paranoid that they'll catch him. It symbolizes his inner battle. He's embarrassed to be seen with a woman like Betty, so he denies to care for her, however he admits he enjoys her company.

Now Armando lets his guard down, you can tell that he isn't as tense however still feeling nervous, he touches his upper lip and leans forward on the table "I'mma tell you something you know." he chuckles and points to Betty's drink "there with you blackberry juice" he chuckles, he finds it endearing, he touches his lips for a micro second often seen as a sign of nervousness. He's nervous to confess this to Betty or even to say it outloud.

Betty is starting at him freaked out and girl I WOULD TOO.

"See when you started working for me, if they would've fired you then I wouldn't have cared or been affected by it but now if you left I wouldn't be able to bare being without you."the haws theme song starts to play and he crazily looks around him. He really doesn't want anyone to hear him say these things because he is embarrassed to feel this way!

Betty's expression doesn't change. She's like a deer hit with headlights.

"But it's just a matter of custom. I'm sure if I left Eco Moda and I left everything organized for the new assistant they'll accomplish-" she's interrupted by an angry Armando.

As Betty was telling him this he took a drink and then started to rub his eyebrow; self soothing.

"Nonononono! I'm not talking about another assistant. " he hisses at her. "I'm saying that you," He chuckles nervously and swiftly covers his face, smiles and says "this is incredible." he fidgets with rubbing his forehead and his tone of voice is what lets us know he is being truthful to Betty. Here Armando is nervous to confess this, not only because he is confessing it to Betty but because now he has to accept it and no longer deny that he does care about Betty. He is being vulnerable.

Do you remember when you'd talk to your crush in middle school how you'd get, especially when the conversation shifted to talking about who you liked?

Armando's behavior reminds me of that.

The literal translation of what he tells her butchers the meaning as Armando tells her "Yo estoy diciendo, es increible esto, pero usted me haria falta, me haria falta como mujer."

"What I'm saying is that you, i can't believe this, is incredible, but I would feel the absence of you, the absence of you as a woman." his tone is very truthful. It isn't like before where it shifted from lying, manipulation and being somewhat truthful. Now it's coming form the heart and we later get more examples of this.

"Um sir please don't continue drinking anymore."

"Why? Why not? I need to drink, see." He drinks from his whisky. "You know why?" he shivers, slightly coughs because of it and shakes his head. "You know why I need to drink? Because I need to, I need to get out what, get out what I have inside of me about what I feel for you." Betty again is looking at him like a deer with headlights. "This is serious don't look at me like me shocked eyes. I'm going to tell you." He slurs. "Since I found out that you have a boyfriend right-"

"But I don't have a boyfriend."

"well, well, whatever, whatever he is, I don't care." He starts to angirly point his finger on the table and with a tone that matches continues "since I found out that guy Nicolas Mora exists I began to feel like bad." He's hunched forward, leaning towards the table and then turning to Betty, his face is very expressive as he shows that what is saying is hard for him to say because it pains him "like this wimper inside of me, I felt like a discomfort that I didn't like and I reflected, I started to think." He begins to act out him reflecting. "Reflecting. Armando, what's going on with you? and I discovered that I'm jealous, I'm jealous of Nicolas Mora." his eyes are wide and lips pursed, showing that he is stressed or holding back emotion.

"Sir don't joke."Betty's voice is shaky, she looks like she's got her heart in her throat as she is leaning far from him. She is afraid of what he is telling her and on guard.

"Do I look like a clown to you?" Betty shakes her head "No right? I don't play with that, Betty. I don't play with that."

Notice the shift in his tone again. It went from being his natural voice, albit drunk and slurred but still his natural tone, to now again being raspy, it's the best way I can discribe his tone which he has whenever he is being manipulative towards anyone. Armando grabs his glass to drink from it which shows us that now he no longer is being honest.

The next sequence is Armando trying to seduce Betty. She explained that she's got nothing going on with Nicolas and tries to excuse herself but Armando tells her to stay and that she isn't going anywhere.

This is him using his power of position to keep Betty in a situation she wants to run from. It is wrong. We know this and so does the writer as we get the Jaws theme song and a creepy smile from Armando. This is intended to be this way and not to be mistaken as something romantic.

He leans in closer and tells her "You fascinate me." Betty reacts to him being so close and leans forward and puckers her lips and they kiss. Armando's reaction is him being grossed out by it.

For the comedic effect Betty opens her eyes and then faints.

What do we get from this?

Armando is a piece of ish!

Now that that's out of the way.

We see Betty struggle with what's going on. She really is scared of what Armando is doing and saying because she doesn't want to have her hopes up and she's afraid of what it entitles. She doesn't want to get hurt.

Armando as always is all over the place. One moment he is angry, the next annoyed, then grossed out, and then he is being vulnerable, honest and baring his bones and then he is being manipulative. I am personally exhausted, imagine him?

Betty wakes up and apologizes, tells him she doesn't know what what's going on and that she crossed the line. She gets up and leaves and Armando goes after her.

See unlike the women of the past, the models or whatever, Betty isn't reacting like he expects her to. She isn't flirting, fawning, getting closer to him. She is in her seat silent while he speaks, telling him to stop drinking, that he doesn't know what he's saying.

Betty runs out of that place and once outside she touches her lips and thinks to herself "He kissed me, he kissed me."

I already mentioned how someone else wrote a post about Armando and the reason he doesn't date women outside of his social circle and here, now, in this scene he is going against that. He is doing the very thing that he lectured Mario about.

He used his position of power to keep Betty there. We get a scene of Armando sitting at the table with his head down and his fist clasped together, unlike with Mario who did that to show power, Armando's body language allows us to see that he is doing it to self-sooth.

I imagine that he is processing everything but mostly feeling guilty for what he is doing. Guilty for taking advantage of Betty and following through with the plan to seduce her and then it hits him that he kissed her. He touches his lips over and over again, it doesn't seem like he's wiping his lips as he gently rubs them and repeats that he kissed her. His brows furrow and instead of having a face of disgust he shows to have a face of confusion because now he is left with the feelings that that kiss produced and left in him. As well as him realizing what he is capable of doing.

Again, Armando is aware that Betty isn't society's standard of Beauty and aware that she isn't want he imagined in his perfect woman body wise, so he is grossed out by the idea of having something physical with her because of his obsession with perfection. This doesn't mean he is grossed out by her, just the idea of her, if that makes sense.

Which I know it's hard to understand, muchless explain right now but I am tired and hungry so I will leave y'all off here.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

'Til next time :)

Ps again ignore my typos.

[openheartfanfics]

Newly Added Fics

Mar 14 - 20 

🎭 Angst  |  🛸 AU  |  ☁ Fluff  |  ♥ NSFW  |  📚 Series  

Aurora x F!MC

First Date - @eleanorbloom  ☁ Aurora and Rosalía go on their first date after both confessed their feelings. [Date]

Bryce x F!MC

A Change of Perspective - @chocopeppermintcake  ☁ Little insights into Casey and Bryce’s relationship from their friends’ perspectives. Feat. The Gang

My Light - @storyofmychoices  ☁ In a drabble follow up to “The Little Things”, Bryce finds Olivia after his first solo cardiac surgery to tell her how it went.

Not A Choice - @utterlyinevitable 🎭 Bryce finally asks Becca what happened between her and Ramsey. Set somewhere in Book 2.  Feat. Bryce x F!MC x Ethan [Jealousy, Protective Bryce, Fighting, Hurt/Comfort] 

Nothing As Calming As - @chocopeppermintcake ♥  Change is everywhere but a few things are able to survive anything. Hopefully [3.1] 

Settled - @argylemnwrites ☁ A long standing bet is about to be settled. Feat. The Gang

Ten Ways - @checkurwindow  🛸 Bryce Lahela never did like the conventional way of saying “I love you”. [High school AU; In Love]

The Little Things - @storyofmychoices ☁ Bryce is preparing for his first solo cardiac surgery

When You’re Ready - @eleanorbloom 📚 [extended: wip]

Chapter 24: You’ve Got The Love ♥

Ethan x F!MC

A Dance With The Devil - @jamespotterthefirst 🎭 What will Ethan Ramsey do when he watches her dance with Tobias Carrick Feat. Tobias Carrick [3.4; Jealous; Gala; Fighting]

A Day at Home - @potionsprefect ☁ Ethan spends a day with his kids whilst Victoria works.  [Family]

Adrift  - @storyofmychoices  ☁ Ethan and Ellie visit Evelyn’s art exhibit. Ellie sees more in the paintings than meets the eye as she contemplates her relationship with Ethan. [2.4]

Champagne Problems - @genevievemd 🎭 She has every intention of rekindling her relationship with Ethan Ramsey, but a heartbreaking discovering that he is engaged. [POV of Ethan’s Med School Ex] 

Coffee and Spice - @starrystarrytrouble 🎭 What if the Ethan/Harper jealousy was set in OH2? Feat. Ethan x F!MC x Harper [Jealousy; Pining]

Confessions - @genevievemd ☁ MC has been feeling unsteady, and Ethan has finally noticed. [3.4; Office; Hurt/Comfort]

Count Down - @gryffindordaughterofathena 🎭 “Come on, say something. Please, just say something, anything.”

Disjointed - @stygianflood 🎭 MC’s reaction after OH 3.3, as Ethan keeps dwelling on his time with Harper. Feat. Sienna Trinh. [3.3] 

Dust To Dust - @droppedmydamncroissant 🎭 Calypso is forced to deal with Nigel Platt, her first P.I.T.A. - and after discovering Ethan’s secret, she can’t help but wonder if he’s punishing her for it. [1.9]

Fix It! - @storyofmychoices  ☁ Ethan has reservations about his new Pictagram account that he and Ellie opened to learn more about Gwenyth. [2.5]

Full Coverage - @storyofmychoices ☁ A rewrite of the famous chicken making scene from OH2Ch8. Ellie has a slightly different spin on Ethan’s directions. [2.8]

Has Everything Changed? - @theinvisibledreamergirl 🛸📚 [mini: wip]

Part 2

Golden - @writinghereandthere ♥ Ethan and Mariana head south of Italy for a holiday getaway, and.. enjoy themselves...a lot. [Vacation] 

Hurricane - @utterlyinevitable 📚 [extended: wip]  A hurricane is falling over Boston. Edenbrook has been evacuated and some very different doctor’s end up seeking shelter together.  

Part 7

If Only... - @storyofmychoices ☁ Ellie and Ethan visit the patients house in hopes of learning more about him. Ellie dreams of what a future with Ethan could look like. [2.3]

In Between - @storyofmychoices   🎭 Ellie has recovered physically from the attempted assassination of the Senator, but mentally she is still struggling. [2.12; Traumatic] 

Just Maybe... - @storyofmychoices  ☁ After a successful dinner with the Governor to secure funding for Edenbrook, Ethan drives Ellie home, while she wonders what future they could possibly have. [2.2]

Light Under Water - @estellaelysian 🛸📚 [extended: wip] Detective Ethan 

Prologue - The Athens of America

Like the Shoreline and the Sea - @stygianflood 🎭 Ethan is asked out on a date right after Miami in Book 1. [1.10; Birthday; Office] 

Look After You - @beebubbly ☁ Casey comforts Ethan after the events of OH 3.3. [3.3; Hurt/Comfort] 

Love and Lies - @gryffindordaughterofathena 🛸📚 [extended: wip] Mystery

Prologue

Love & Scotch: a Hollywood U / Open Heart crossover series - @storyofmychoices  📚 [extended: wip] 

This series takes place after the events of my Hollywood U AU and during the events of Open Heart Book 2. Hunt and Ethan are old friends. Having successfully managed a relationship with a student, Hunt offers advice to Ethan on how to handle a relationship with a member of his team.

Luck vs. Talent  - @storyofmychoices  ☁ Ellie and Ethan have dinner with Naveen, Harper, and Governor Rivera in hopes of securing support for Edenbrook. [2.2]

Motion Sickness - @droppedmydamncroissant 🎭 Calypso thinks about the implications of being a doctor after Dolores’ death and what it means to be working underneath the great Ethan Ramsey. [1.4; Hurt/Comfort]

My Oasis - @droppedmydamncroissant 🎭 While in the Amazon, Ethan is haunted by the choices he made - he stumbles across an enchanting visage on a magazine cover that forces a few realizations into the depth of his torment. [Amazon; Ethan POV] 

None Shall Sleep - @anntoldst0ries ☁ In the privacy of the diagnostic’s office, Ethan & Noelle reflect on recent changes around them. [3.5; Hurt/Comfort; Musical] 

Not A Choice - @utterlyinevitable 🎭 Bryce finally asks Becca what happened between her and Ramsey. Set somewhere in Book 2. Feat. Bryce x F!MC x Ethan [Jealousy, Protective Bryce, Fighting, Hurt/Comfort]

One Last Talk - @potionsprefect 🎭 He has one last talk with the man whom he looked up to the most. Feat. Naveen Banerji [Someone Died]

Rivals - @starrystarrytrouble ☁ Everyone at Edenbrook is talking about Tobias and Ethan. Multiple POVs. Feat. Tobias Carrick  [3.4; Jealousy; Protective]

Second-Year Residents - @storyofmychoices  ☁ The now second year residents celebrate the start of a new year.  Ethan Ramsey also returns from his trip away. [2.1]

Stuck In Gravity - @droppedmydamncroissant 🎭 After Ethan leaves for the Amazon, Calypso is left with nothing but a gallery of memories and the ruminating abilities of her scorned and yearning heart [Amazon; Pining]

Sweet Dreams, TN - @theinvisibledreamergirl 🛸♥ What if my MC didn’t get her place at Edenbrook Hospital in her first year and her boyfriend did? And what if she’s a surgical resident in the 2nd year?

Time Alone - @potionsprefect ♥ Victoria and Ethan spend a day together without the kids.

To Have and to Hurt - @danijimenezv 🎭 How MC finally reacts to the bs PB has been forcing on us, and the reason behind Tobias’s actions. Feat. Tobias [3.4; Jealousy] 

Waiting For Dr. Ramsey - @liaromancewriter 🎭 What if Ethan Ramsey and MC decided to pursue a relationship at the end of book 1, be together without jeopardizing her professional development? [1.15]

We Can’t Do This - @checkurwindow  🎭🌟 The New Year only brings back old memories.

Welcome To The Team - @lem-20 ☁ Ethan isn’t happy about the new addition to the diagnostics team. [3.4; Ethan’s POV] 

You’re smiling, right?  - @checkurwindow  🎭 She’s gone now, and Ethan doesn’t know what he’s going to do without her. 

Ethan x M!MC

Electric Love - @katkart122 📚  [mini: wip] Reminiscing moments of the time where Chris and Ethan fell in love which feels electrifying.

Part 1

Love Triangles 

Coffee and Spice - @starrystarrytrouble 🎭 What if the Ethan/Harper jealousy was set in OH2? Feat. Ethan x F!MC x Harper

Flirt - @starrystarrytrouble ☁ Tobias has stolen something and MC is determined to get it back. Fear. Ethan x F!MC x Tobias

Not A Choice - @utterlyinevitable 🎭 Bryce finally asks Becca what happened between her and Ramsey. Set somewhere in Book 2. Feat. Bryce x F!MC x Ethan [Jealousy, Protective Bryce, Fighting, Hurt/Comfort]

Naveen Banerji

One Last Talk - @potionsprefect 🎭 He has one last talk with the man whom he looked up to the most. Feat. Ethan x F!MC [Someone Died]

Tobias Carrick & F!MC

A Dance With The Devil - @jamespotterthefirst 🎭 What will Ethan Ramsey do when he watches her dance with Tobias Carrick Feat. Ethan x F!MC

Part 1

Rivals - @starrystarrytrouble ☁ Everyone at Edenbrook is talking about Tobias and Ethan. Multiple POVs. Feat. Ethan x F!MC [3.4]

Secrets - @lucy-268 🎭 Bloom makes a power move. Will it unsettle the diagnostic’s team? [3.4]

To Have and to Hurt - @danijimenezv 🎭 How MC finally reacts to the bs PB has been forcing on us, and the reason behind Tobias’s actions. Feat. Ethan x F!MC [3.4]

_

SUBMIT OPEN HEART FICS & WRITERS HERE

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Top 5 Characters in ANF Who Would’ve Made Better Love Interests Than Kate

There are a lot of mixed opinions on TWDG: A New Frontier. Some people like it, some don’t, and some people hate it so much that they refuse to accept as canon in the series. Extreme? Yeah, but hey, to each their own. 

One thing that always bothers me when I do my replay of the series and this game is how much Kate is forced on us and even kinda punishes us for not romancing her. Like, no offense, but I’m not really interested in dating my sister-in-law, especially when her husband is actually alive, and even if she wasn’t my brother’s wife, she’s still not a character I have chemistry with, y’know? 

And every time I play, I can’t help but think that almost anyone else in ANF would’ve been a better romantic interest for Javi over Kate, so I decided to make that the list for this week. 

I would’ve loved more choices and for the game to actually show Javi’s canon bisexuality outside of a flirty line with Jesus that most players didn’t even pick. Just sayin’.

I do want to note that if you enjoy the romance with Kate and the relationship between her and Javi, that’s totally cool. Just because I don’t like it doesn’t mean you can’t ship them, y’know? I’m not here to try to change your mind or tell you you’re bad for shipping something I don’t because I’m not a dingus. You do what makes you happy, friend. :)

Besides, going off the stats, a majority of players romanced her so if anything, I’m the weirdo. This list is just for fun! 

Before we start, just wanna say a big thank you to @pi-creates​ for helping out with this one! Really appreciate it! Now, here are my top 5 characters who, in my opinion, would’ve made better love interests for Javier than Kate.

5. Jane if the writers didn’t turn her into a dead potato

Oh man, you should see your face right now. 

Wait, wait, stop! Before you click outta here in a huff with your “Kenny good Jane bad” grunts and come yell at me, just hear me out-- this entry is mostly a joke and the other four on this list are serious, okay? 

I needed someone to put at #5 and after talking over some options and going back and forth.... Jane came up as a joke and then kind of made the list. Because really, I thought about it. I was like, “Would I really rather have dingdong “whatever happens stay out of it” potato face Jane as a love interest over Kate? Do I dislike Kate as an option that much?” and Pi and I talked about this for a while and yeah.... yeah I would actually. 

When I said anyone but Kate, I guess I really meant anyone. 

Trust me, I know, I’m just as surprised. I guess this really says a lot about my feelings for Kate. I didn’t know I disliked her this much either.

But for fun, let’s entertain this idea of the writers NOT pulling the ol’ character assassination on Jane and she made it to Richmond with Clementine and AJ because--

Jane: "One time I ate glass because I was drunk and thought it was sugar."

Javier: "I gambled on my own baseball matches and disgraced myself for money."

Jane: “Well, I dragged my little sister around with me after everything went to shit until I finally gave her what she wanted and left her to die.”

Javier: “I wasn’t there when my dad was fighting cancer and when I finally showed up, I was too late and he was already dead, then he turned and I bashed his skull in with a piece of wood.” 

Jane: “I shot a dude’s dick off once.”

Javier: “Oof. I insulted an old lady’s cake and then shot her eye out.”

Jane: “I screwed a guy when I was supposed to be securing a place for some lady to have her baby and it resulted in the death of a teenage girl.”

Javier: “I screwed my brother’s wife.” 

Jane: “...”

Javier: “In my defense, I thought he was dead.” 

Jane: “That’s fair.”

Clementine, exasperated and emo: “Oh my god.” 

....I mean... we might be onto something here, c’mon--

Okay, now onto the more legit entries. 

4. Conrad

Now listen... I know, okay? I know. I know this one can be seen as a bit problematic considering the fact that Conrad, in his grief and anger over Francine’s death, held a gun to Gabe’s head and threatened Javi and Clementine.... plus Javi can literally murder him.

...and if you don’t do anything, Conrad with murder both Gabe and Javi and you’ll get a “YOU ARE DEAD” screen...

But we don’t talk about that because it’s not canon.

I know, but listen... I’m allowed to have ships that are difficult, as are you, and this is my list so... there.

If Conrad was a love interest that’s the route I’d take because I love him and I think a relationship between him and Javi could’ve been so damn good if properly done.

I just find Conrad to be an interesting character with a great arc that you only get to see if you don’t shoot him... which is what most people did, so they missed out. And like, I get it, I get why y’all shot him but maybe next time you play, you could consider not doing that?

So here’s the thing, Javi and Conrad share something-- they both lost loved ones because of shithead Badger. Javi is heartbroken after Mariana’s death, Conrad is devastated after Francine’s death, and they both handle that in different ways. Conrad becomes so focused on revenge and getting into Richmond, that he’s willing to threaten two kids in order to get what he wants but the thing is... that’s not him.

He even says so himself when you keep him alive-- he genuinely apologizes for what happened and will end up coming back to save Javi’s life in ep4. The potential for this to work as a relationship? It’s there... the only problem is that my confidence in the writers handling something like this is low, but let’s pretend they used their time and brains wisely-- ya got yourself a classic slow-burn friends to enemies to friends again to lovers romance and I’m here for it. 

3. Paul “Jesus” Monroe

A lot of people really like the idea of Javi and Jesus and wanted him to be a romantic option, and I don’t blame them. They have chemistry in the scenes they share, and Javi can straight up flirt with him at the end of the season, and it’s super cute... of course, I wish we had more but Telltale was too scared to actually show Javi’s bisexuality outside of that one line, I guess.

But, anyway, this ship has a lot of sweet fanart that we love to see.

The only real reason he isn’t higher on the list is that Jesus is apparently already in a relationship at this point? I guess? From what I’ve been told? Listen, I don’t read the comics, I don’t watch the show, I just go off what y’all tell me. Plus, I believe Kent joked about Jesus having someone in each community during the commentaries so like... that’s a thing?

But let’s pretend that we throw that all out and Jesus is single and ready to be in a committed relationship with our boy Javier here. Like I mentioned above, these characters have a believable chemistry from the moment they meet and I think that has a lot to do with how charming they are by themselves. Those different charms work well together.

I also enjoy how much of a badass Jesus is when it comes to fighting off walkers. Javi has a lot of force that you feel with each hit, while Jesus almost has a lighter but just as impactful hit? I dunno if I’m explaining that well-- basically, Javi strong but Jesus can bounce off walls and do cool shit with weapons that feels effortless.

It’s a combo of fighting styles that I love, so these two fighting together? *chef kiss*

There’s also Jesus’ morality and how he wants to see Javier make “good” decisions, y’know? Sure, he gets pissy if you murder the shit outta Badger, which is mostly just Telltale showing you consequences, but I get it. He sees a lot of potential in Javi, more than Javi himself sees. And unlike certain characters, Jesus doesn’t completely hate you for doing something he doesn’t agree with to a frustrating degree.

If the game gave us the option to pursue Jesus as a love interest, he and Javier would’ve been such a badass couple with a sweet romance.

2. Eleanor

This one might come as a surprise to those of you who know my feelings about Eleanor... as in, I don’t like her. I never forgave her for the shit she pulled in ep4/ep5, and now every time I replay ANF and she shows up? Well, all I really hear is the hissing of a snake.

But, putting those feelings aside and looking at her from a different perspective, I do believe that she would’ve made for a better love interest than Kate assuming that if you romanced her, she wouldn’t rat everyone out to Joan, y’know?

Hell, most people believed that Eleanor was going to be the second option with Kate back when the episodes were coming out, and for good reason. The chemistry is there in the flirting, and their relationship could’ve been super cute.

Of course, Eleanor being a love interest also comes with things becoming awkward with Tripp, but c’mon-- as awkward as pursuing a relationship with your sister-in-law and never telling your brother after finding out he’s alive? Nah, I don’t think so.

Plus, for the first three episodes, Eleanor’s not a bad character. In fact, she’s pretty damn likable, she deeply cares for the group and wants to use her medical skills for good.

And you can tell through the dialogue that she and Javi are fond of one another... well, I guess until they shove the Kate thing in our faces and suddenly Eleanor’s like “oh, I thought you two were a thing??” like... Eleanor, we were flirting and I totally rejected all of Kate’s advances last episode I mean??

If she were a love interest, instead of turning on us, she would... y’know, not do that and instead help us out. We have a couple cute moments like back in ep1 where she’s patching Javi up but this time with a smooch? Super cute.

1. Tripp

Okay but seriously, why wasn’t Tripp a love interest? 

He’s the perfect option. I just-- uuuughhhhh. 

They already have a great believable bromance, so why not take it a step further and make it an official romance? Oh wait, that’s right, ya gotta kill off 95% of your determinant characters, I forgot. Sorry Tripp. 

Well, fuck that. Out of all the other adult characters, Javi has the most chemistry with this man. I believe them more than I believe him and Kate. Sure, they got off to a rocky start the progression of their relationship felt natural with every episode. 

That scene where Tripp is confiding in Javi about his feelings for Eleanor? And in turn, Javi can confide in him about Kate? One of my favorite scenes. I only wish there was an option to tell Tripp he can do much better and set the path for the romance. 

Seriously, I’d probably feel more okay about the romance with Kate if Tripp were the second option. That way, Kate wouldn’t be so forced onto the player, the writers confirming Javi’s bisexuality on Twitter or whatever wouldn’t feel like they were trying to earn points without actually showing representation, and we would’ve gotten the beauty that is Javier and Tripp. 

Also, then Tripp could make it to the end without dying that dumb death of his that no one likes. 

And if I haven’t convinced you yet, then look at these swaps Pi did--

--and tell me they aren’t fucking perfect?? You can’t, because look at them. 

Where’s my Tripp route, Telltale??

---

Honorable Mentions

-If I wasn’t sticking to just ANF characters, Luke probably would’ve made the list because that’s apparently a popular combo and I dig it.  -Pudding... because Javi fucking loves pudding.  -Honestly Max probably would’ve been a better love interest than Kate oof--

---

So, whattya think? Do you agree with this top 5 or nah? Do you have a favorite Javi ship? Let me know, I’d love to hear from you. :D

Next week’s T5F Top 5 Times Lee was the Absolute Best

[camelely]

Good Trouble Finale...

Okay I liked that episode. It had all the elements to make a good finale, it fit the tone of the show, and it got us ready for the next season. It wasn't the best but I did really appreciate it. Anyone else think they did multiple cliffhangers so they could gage how the audience would want to see these plots end before actually writing an end lol?

First things first the Callie plot

Judge Wilson!!!! I'm so glad they brought him back to call out Callie in the dream sequence in the courtroom. It was so good. His speech. Roger Bart's delivery. The emotional impact and Maia's performance. It was a great scene and the perfect scene for both characters.

On to her actual plot. Why didn't they tell us the verdict? This whole season has been building on this case. If one thing needed to be resolved by the finale it should have been this. Also they brought up Jerrod but once again provided us with no updates!

It's interesting how all of Jamie's character development has been off screen. Like is it too much to ask for some of it to happen in front of us? It doesn't even need to be in front of Callie? Like we can just see him doing something or learning something outside the courtroom.

If all this is building to Jamie and Callie starting a firm together I would be here for it. But only if Callie takes in the message of actually listening to other people sometimes. It is important to fight but if you dont hear what others are saying how can you fight?

Callie needs to learn not every case is some big fight to change the system case. The justice system works best when both sides have decent legal representation and yes we live in a world where that rarely happens. And juries are rarely actually impartial. But Callie is a lawyer. She's not a politician and she's not a judge. She thinks she is morally superior to everyone around her and I'm so tired of it. I really hope the dream sequence finally pushes her into some character growth.

As for her and Gael I've always disliked them as a couple. In every season before this she has treated him like a second choice and never given him the support he deserved. Everytime she went to him it was because of a fight she had with Jamie or Mariana. It kinda felt like he was finally just returning the favor this season lol. Also like I said before I actually kinda like Isabella and I'm excited to see where Gael goes when he isn't attached to a bad love triangle plot.

TBH at this point I'd rather see Jamie and Gael be happy then actually try to work things out with Callie lol. They both seem to be in better places without her and she needs sometime without a guy.

The Mariana plot

Okay I hate it here. I know the message is friendships come first but like wtf the girls were really horrible to Mariana. It's really shitty that lady... jackie? stole the app idea and idk what I wanted from this plot but the fight club girls deciding to be friends with Mariana again just wasnt it. They treated her like shit all season. Also there were more of them at the start of the season lol. Also Jackie and Evan working together like wtf. Evan was a decent guy nothing in his character makes me think he would be the type of person to be vindictive after a break-up... this feels all sorts of weird and unnecessary. Even if they end it with him choosing to help Mariana I can't see this plot actually doing anything exciting tbh. Mariana is my favorite character and this plot is already exhausting, I have a feeling it's only going to get worse from here. Overall this was the worst plot of the season and I'm not happy to continue it into next season. I just want Mariana to be happy lol.

The Dennis plot

I love it. The truck connecting back to his past trauma and healing process is 10/10. The way he is finding a passion is 10/10. Overall 10/10 lol.

The Davia plot

Also mostly good. Again they chose a cliffhanger when in reality they didn't need to? I think if you dedicate an entire season of a show to a question and have the character (or a jury lol) come to decision in the finale and then choose to not tell the audience it cheapens the whole experience and drags a plot passed its expiration date. If you want a plot to end in a cliffhanger thats fine but this isn't a cliffhanger... this is just cutting out audio that should naturally be there... for the sake of creating fake tension. Doing it once is bad enough but twice in the same episode felt personal lol.

The Malika plot

Ah Malika and the only cliffhanger that actually works. Isaac. I love Isaac. Like he's amazing and I love him so much. I really liked how their plot was focused on Malika exploring how a Poly relationship could be/is right for her. The whole plot is really well done. If she decides she wants to be monogamous with Isaac I'd be okay with that as long as it is a well written thing focusing on her choices and not his. I also wouldnt mind if Isaac and her get closure and he moves on. I think him deciding to be poly could work but I also think he made it clear that isn't really what he is looking for. Maybe an open relationship or something like that could work for them? Idk exactly but I'm very excited to see where this all goes and I'm confident the writers will do right by these characters.

More exciting is her work/activism plot. It's clearly going to cause problems with her and Dyonte but honestly Dyonte and his personality is my least favorite part of the Malika plot lol. He reminds me of Speech from the band Arrested Development. That probably isn't a fair comparison and probably makes no sense but it's the vibe I get. I like Angelica and I hope her ex/friend is a good person. I have high hopes for this plot and I really hope GT doesn't let me down. Lol watch this be the worst plot next season and Mariana be the best just because I predicted the opposite.

The Alice plot

This was the one with the most consistent writing IMO. It wasn't perfect. They had some weird character choices/build with Alice's comedy group And honestly they could have cut the program down to like four finalists. All of them started to blend together anyway. I think bringing a few into the spotlight a little more would have helped balance the character choices and if one of them was to betray Alice it would have been more emotional if we actually knew them. I liked the choice to quit but it was a lot of money and a great opportunity too. It was a truly wild way to end the plot lol. As for her and Sumi... Okay so Sumi was my least favorite Alice LI, but over this last season she really grew on me and I'd be okay if they eventually found their way back to each other. For now I'm glad they are making the more responsible choice and staying friends.

Overall this finale was very much in keeping with the themes and choices the show tends to make. But it was 90 minutes long and didn't answer any of the big season long questions. It was a really well made episode though and I liked watching it.

[girlbabyvelez]

Hasta La Muerte // Chapter Eight

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: None

Note: Not me updating this fic like ages later. I’m truly sorry though I just lost inspo but here is another chapter to anyone who still currently reads this!

Everyone around you burst into cheers and applause as Christopher stood up and pulled you into a kiss, his arms wrapping around your waist and pulling your body close to his. Once you pulled away you were able to face the man you were going to marry in just a few months, a wide smile on his face as he looked down at you and the sight made a smile grow on yours.

“I know you’re the one who made a wish but my wish came true tonight.” He said loudly as everyone began to step closer to bombard the two of you with congratulatory statements and questions. This caused a blush to spread over your cheeks for a moment before remembering what the true reason for this engagement was. You turn your head and scan the crowds, eyes landing on the two men who threatened you not long ago.

Sergio and Paulo stood at the back with scowls on their face. Sergio had already pulled out a phone and you knew that he must be informing Santiago about this new move.

“Hey it’ll be okay.” You hear Chris and he pulls your attention from Paulo and Sergio back to him. You look over at him and see a reassuring smile on his face. 

“You’re right. I just have to be extra cautious now. We don’t know what this news will cause Santiago to do.” You whispered. You felt Chris’ hand at your waist give you a comforting squeeze before turning over to all of your friends, coworkers and family. You convincingly and excitedly grabbed at your closest friends to gush about your engagement, making sure that it looked like you and Chris had been ready to marry.

~

The anger pulsed through his body as he heard the news. His hands were clenched tight, the knuckles turning ghostly white and the vein in his neck was popping out, both obvious signs of his fury. Y/N Camacho was now engaged to Christopher Velez. Santiago knew how this business worked, you were engaged to Chris only to protect you and the precious business that took so long for your family to build. The engagement sets his plan back, but he knows you and he knows exactly how to take you and your family down.

“Paulo, tell Yarliza to come in here.” Santiago orders and within minutes he sees Paulo escorting his girlfriend into the room. 

“Amor why did you call for me?” Yarliza asks as she walks towards Santiago, arms outstretched towards him so she could easily slide into his side. He placed a hand on her thigh, his eyes meeting hers that were so familiar to yours. A smirk crossed his face at the thought of what was coming.

“You know what you have to do.”

~

The engagement ring that was wrapped around your finger still felt foreign to you, even after you had worn it for a week trying to get used to it. Your plan worked, everyone believed that you and Chris were a real couple who were deeply in love. And you knew that Chris was starting to have feelings towards you, and it wasn’t love but he did feel affectionate towards you. 

“Hola hermosa,” You hear him say as he steps around the couch of his apartment, well now the apartment the two of you shared, he leans down and places a quick kiss on your forehead. It had become a routine of his whenever he was about to leave the house to go with your brother. 

“Good morning Chris,” You respond, allowing him to move to sit on the couch besides you. He smiles warmly at you as he pulls out his phone. You position yourself to fully face him and bring your arm up on the back of the couch.

“Richard said you should start planning the wedding while we do business today.” Chris states as he began to text Richard about the meet up. You furrow your brows at his words and you sit up to get his attention back to you rather than his phone, which he quickly does, eyes meeting yours.

“You don’t want to plan anything?” You question. This wedding was for the both of you and it would probably be your only wedding. He laughs at your question before dropping the phone onto his lap and turning to face you, doing his best to assure you that this was something he wanted as well.

“Of course I do amor but I need to do this business before we leave.” He tells you but his words only made you more confused. Ever since Paulo and Sergio had cornered you that night, you were aware of everything involving the business now, and you had no clue what your fiance was talking about.

“Leave?” You question, moving your arms to cross against your chest. He noticed your uncertain and angry position as soon as you did it. He let out a sigh before moving his hands to uncross your arms and moving them down to intertwine with your hands.

“Well I was going to tell you later tonight but I got us tickets to Ecuador. I want you to meet my family before we get married.” He explains and he removes one hand from yours and you slightly miss his warmth but instead he reaches his free hand out to your face. Your face slightly falls at his words and this doesn’t go unnoticed by Christopher. Just as he was about to question it, you took the opportunity away from him. 

“Really? When do we leave?” You ask, you knew that his family was important to him but you weren’t sure if you were ready to meet his family. He turns his body to fully face yours and he could see the uncertainty in your eyes. He felt his heart fall at your reaction, he wanted you to be happy and excited to meet them but he knew it was a big step. 

“We leave at the end of this week.” He answers. You let out a small gasp at his response which he heard. “I know everything that happened between us happened fast but I want you to meet them and they want to meet you. In plus, I’ll be by your side the entire time amor.” He whispers to try to comfort you. And the warm smile on his face just made you want to do whatever he wanted to. You nodded at his words before returning the warm smile.

“Okay. I want to meet them too and maybe hear some stories of Chris before he became a mafioso.” You joked and Chris winced at your words because just like you he was also lying and hiding from the people he loved. His family wasn’t aware that Chris was a part of the mafia, he had been feeding them lies for years that he worked at this fancy business.

“About that...they think I’m a businessman.” He admits

“So I guess I’ll have to ask about stories before you became a businessman.”

~

You looked at all of the options laid out in front of you. You felt stuffed from all of the cake samples you had to try. And now you couldn’t make a decision, you were always indecisive and now that you were having to pick things for your wedding it felt worse. Mariana was sitting on the other side of the table, looking at you expectantly for an answer while Tati said beside you for moral support. 

“I can’t choose.” You admit as you looked at the two of them before moving your eyes back to all of the cake options in front of you. 

“I know it’s hard. But we have two months until the wedding so you need to start making decisions.” Mariana tells you which causes you to groan. You throw your head back before getting yourself together. You look at the options laid before you for a few minutes, making the decision in your head. 

“Fine. The base tier, let’s do chocolate with mocha mousse filling. Second tier will be red velvet with cream cheese. And the final tier will be white chocolate raspberry with vanilla buttercream.” You answer and look back at Mariana who was writing down your order. She smiles at you and pushes the notebook aside before pulling out her planning binder. 

“Okay now onto flowers and table arrangements.” Mariana continues and you sigh at her words. The only thing holding you over was the fact that you would be travelling with Chris to Ecuador tonight. You just had to finish this wedding planning first and then you could take a break with your fiance. 

“So are you excited to meet his family?” Tati questions as the three of you finally take a break from the wedding planning and arrangements to grab a cup of coffee. You sigh at her question, you were excited but filled with nerves. You were going to see a part of Chris’ life that many haven’t seen, it was going to be meaningful to him and that scared you. 

“No, I'm nervous. This is something new.” You answer honestly. You see Mariana and Tati nod at your words, they understood where you were coming from. Your relationship with Christopher seemed to be moving at warp speed, and to you it was so unsteady and you weren’t sure that you could handle any more bad things. 

“Oh by the way, when you come back we need to pick the dress and do the bridesmaid fittings. Which I advise getting a friend from your normal life to make it seem more realistic.” Mariana advised and you were back to remembering that this was just a business negotiation first and foremost. You weren’t planning a wedding just because you were in love, you were planning a wedding because you needed to help the family business.

-

Taglist:  @phanislife124 @bbyyelyah  @zabdisamor @xxxstormyninixxx  @babecita-1 @yashuazbabygirl @getmealifepls @cyaneaa @codename-nyx @cncoh-damn @mamacamacho @smoljoelito @itsmaytimetosaygoodbye @ladykxxx08 @la-undercover-latina @lostpil52 @undeadspazzattack @plentyoffandomss @babyyynatty @juneninetynine @cnchoe-imagines @valeriiaaass @moonlitzabdiel @damnthoseyes  @ourkarlanicoleuniverse @niallisworld @multi-fandomgoddess @california-creator @ ego-allie-bap @zabdicl @chellybear98 @sometimesbadalwaysboujie​ @estoy-enamorado-de-ti @nochillnelly @ericksmamita @cncoamor @you-kinda-smell-like-christmas @pizzaspirits​ @josiemara​ @deniseasonrisa @nqbmf @afro-doll @h-bea92​ @the-almond-dinger​  @miericksongo​ @cncosoftie​  @ohitsnicolexo​  @midnightjmadness

Note: This chapter was really short dskdk I was gonna do the trip but I wrote the trip and it was super long so I made it the next chapter instead. I hope you like :)

[cheshirechace]

TASK 003 : A HAPPY WORKING SONG

A song that represents your characters best friend.

Hey Leonardo (She Likes Me for Me) - Blessid Union Of Souls

“She likes me for me Not because I sing like Pavorotti Or because I'm such a hottie I like her for her Not because she's phat like Cindy Crawford She has got so much to offer”

It didn’t take long for Chace to understand that the friendship he shared with Alice was special. From his arrival to Wonderland, she was the only one he could spend hours upon hours talking to about anything and everything with. In the beginning, she effortlessly got him to open up to her. As much as Chace likes to deny anyone having cracked the ‘Cheshire puzzle,’ he knows Alice did it a long time ago. In return for a friendship he never felt worthy of, he has promised himself that he’d only ever bring her happiness and remind her as often as possible why she’s so incredible.

A song that represents your character’s first crush.

Wondering - Good Charlotte 

“Ever since I found you I want to be around you I want to get down to the point that I need you”

Growing up, Chace met many people, especially when he discovered his teleportation. But despite all that, however, there was one boy that soon grew to become his best friend for a period of time. Funny enough, they had lived in the same neighborhood for some time. They’d get into mischief almost constantly, but they would always have each other’s backs. Chace’s thirst for knowledge became fulfilled for a moment as this friend silently began to introduced him to all the new feelings of ‘liking’ someone. He was the first person to make Chace feel butterflies, but he was also the first person to introduce Chace to heartache.

A song that represents your character’s teen years.

Welcome To The Party- Pop Smoke

“Baby, welcome to the party Bitch I’m a thot, get me lit”

After discovering what heartache felt like, it wasn’t long before he slowly began to lose himself in the ‘feel good’ vibes of partying. It was nice to be able to numb away the pain, so he did that for a couple of years. Soon he was experimenting with more than just drugs to help him mask the pain heartbreak brought; even though he was always known to be a good time, that didn’t stop Chace from also starting a fight from time to time.

A song that represents your character’s current state of being.

Therapy- All Time Low “Give me a therapy, I'm a walking travesty But I'm smiling at everything”

Chace may always be living life with a grin on his face and partying hard, but his thoughts often lead him down dark places. For as many friends as he seems to have, the guy often feels alone. He couldn’t quite tell you why, but he masks it with the smile he often greets people with. Lately, however, he knows this is all his own doing. While he’s slowly been recovering his pieces, there is still a long way to go.

A song that represents your character’s motivation.

Circus- Britney Spears

“I’m like a firecracker I make it hot When I put on a show I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins Spotlight on me and I’n ready to break I’m like a performer, the dance floor is my stage Better be ready, hope that you feel the same”

Chace performs his best when he is at Wonderland, whether it be socially or mentally. His secret? Listening to the song Circus a couple of time before heading into work. For whatever reason, this song really pumps Chace up. Most of the time, he’s not even the center of attention in Wonderland, but the song helps him get into the mindset he normally has while in the establishment. 

A song that represents your character’s current crush.

Cross My Heart- Mariana Trench

“I wonder what your doing I wonder if you doubt it I wonder how we used to ever go so long without it I don't know where to go I'm going back to you”

For someone who is an expert at running, Chace can’t seem to shake the feeling he is currently feeling. Chace has been doing everything in his power to not face reality, from teleporting far and wide to simply locking themselves up in their room. At the end of the day, though, it doesn’t change that as much as his feet want to run...they keep pulling him in the same direction..

[avatarinspirations]

Avatar Kyoshi music

Here are some songs I like for Kyoshi’s story. It’s gonna get random XD

Angst

“Again” by Flyleaf.

“Anything” by Mae.

“Are You With Me” by Trapt.

“Baby you wouldn’t last a minute on the creek” by Chiodos.

“Bionic” by Christina Aguilera.

“Bite To Break Skin” by Senses Fail.

“Breath” by Breaking Benjamin.

“Breathe” by Michelle Branch.

“Broken Crown” by Mumford & Sons.

“Build your own Disaster” by Ice Nine Kills.

“Calling All Angels” by Train.

“Calls Me Home” by Shannon LaBrie.

“Carry On” by Fun.

“Change” by Taylor Swift.

“Change your mind” by All-American Rejects.

“Coffeeshop Soundtrack” by All Time Low.

“Cold” by Crossfade.

“Colors” by Crossfade.

“Crawling” by Linkin Park.

“Dare you to move/Meant to live” cover by Anthem Lights (original songs by Switchfoot).

“Dead in the Water” by Ellie Goulding.

“Demons” by Imagine Dragons.

“Don’t Tell Me” by Avril Lavigne.

“Dust & Gold” by Arrows to Athens.

“Everybody’s Fool” by Evanescence.

“Evil Angel” by Breaking Benjamin.

“Explosions” by Ellie Goulding.

“Fight Song” by Rachel Platten.

“Fix You” by Coldplay.

“Fly from the Inside” by Shinedown.

“From Yesterday” by 30 Seconds to Mars.

“Fully Alive” by Flyleaf.

“Gives you hell” by All-American Rejects.

“Headstrong” by Trapt.

“Helena” by My Chemical Romance.

“Hero” by Skillet.

“Heroes” by Alesso.

“Hit me with your best shot” by Pat Benatar.

“Hit the Floor” by Bullet for my Valentine.

“Hit the Floor” by Linkin Park.

“Hold Me Down” by Halsey.

“HTML Rulez Dood” by the Devil Wears Prada.

“Hurricane” by Bridgit Mendler.

“I’m So Sick” by Flyleaf.

“In the air Tonight” by Nonpoint & Phil Collins.

“Innocence” by Avril Lavigne.

“It Only Hurts” by Default.

“It’s My Life” by Bon Jovi.

“Justify” by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.

“Karma” by Alicia Keys.

“Kings & Queens” by 30 Seconds to Mars.

“Monster” by Skillet.

“Move Along” by All-American Rejects.

“My Hero” by Foo Fighters.

“Never Too Late” by Three Days Grace. 

“One Girl Revolution” by Superchick.

“One Woman Army” by Porcelain Black. 

“Only One” by Yellowcard.

“Over & Under” by Egypt Central.

“Papercut” by Linkin Park.

“Prelude 12/21″ by AFI.

“Rain on Me” by Lady Gaga & Ariana Grande.

“Ready to Fall” by Rise Against.

“Rebirthing” by Skillet.

“Reverie” by Megan McCauley.

“Savior” by Skillet.

“Shake It Out” by Florence & the Machine.

“Shattered” by Trading Yesterday.

“So Cold” by Breaking Benjamin.

“Somebody that I used to know” by Mayday Parade.

“Sorrow” by Flyleaf.

“Supernatural” by Flyleaf.

“Tears don’t fall” by Bullet For My Valentine.

“The Cave” by Mumford & Sons.

“The Climb” by Miley Cyrus.

“The Greatest” by Sia --> I especially love Madilyn Page’s cover.

“The Rescue” by American Hi-Fi.

“This is Gospel” by Panic at the Disco.

“To Hell & Back” by blessthefall.

“Waiting for the End” by Linkin Park.

“What have you done” by Within Temptation. 

“What I’ve Done” by Linkin Park.

“Whisper” by Evanescence. 

“You’re Not Alone” by Saosin.

Score Music (Mostly epic)

“A Building Panic” from the Titanic soundtrack.

“Air” from the Angels & Demons soundtrack.

“All or Nothing” by Brand X Music.

“Antrozous” by Hanz Zimmer (Batman Begins soundtrack).

“Attack at the Wall” from the Mulan soundtrack.

“Battle on the Tower” from the Beauty & the Beast soundtrack (the Gaston vs Beast half).

“Birth of a Hero” by Soundcritters.

“Blossoms” from the Mulan soundtrack.

“Bonded for Life” from the Indian in the Cupboard soundtrack.

“Bring the Pain” by Brand-X Music.

“Bumblebee Captured” from the Transformers soundtrack.

“Caeser’s Home” from the Rise of the Planet of the Apes soundtrack.

“Call to Arms” by Two Steps From Hell.

“Chatting with Clark” from the Supergirl Season 1 soundtrack.

“Coffey on the Mile” from the Green Mile soundtrack.

“Destiny” by Filip Olejka.

“Destroying the Corpses” from the Haunting in Connecticut soundtrack.

“Evolve Nation” by Sub Pub Music.

“Farewell” from the Pocahontas soundtrack.

“Firebird Suite” by Igor Stravinsky.

“Floating Away” by Epic Score.

“Glory Seeker” by Immediate Music.

“H2O” from the Angels & Demons soundtrack.

“Here comes the King” by X-Ray Dog.

“Heroes” by Randy Dominguez.

“Jim Saves The Crew” from the Treasure Planet soundtrack.

“Kill ‘Em All” from the Carrie 2013 soundtrack.

“Lacrimosa Dominae” by Immideate. 

“Legion” by Randy Dominguez.

“Like a Fire” from the X-Men: Apocalypse soundtrack.

“Love & Loss” by Two Steps From Hell.

“Marriage Proposal” from the Young Victoria soundtrack.

“Neodammerung” from the Matrix soundtrack.

“Person of Interest” by Immediate Music.

“Prologue” by Jeremy Zuckerman from the Legend of Korra soundtrack.

“Ready for the Fight” by Epic Score.

“Redemption” by Andreas Christodoulou.

“Red Sea” from the Prince of Egypt soundtrack.

“Remember the Titans” by Audiomachine.

“Return of the King” by X-Ray Dog.

“Rise of the Abyss” by Two Steps From Hell.

“Sands of Time” by “Audiomachine.

“Shenzhou” from the Gravity soundtrack.

“Short Hair” from the Mulan soundtrack.

“Silver comforts Jim” from the Treasure Planet soundtrack.

“Superhuman” by Baby Rattle.

“The Age of Man” by Fringe Element.

“The Battle” from the Chronicles of Narnia soundtrack.

“The Burning Bush” from the Prince of Egypt soundtrack.

“The Doll Survives” from the Mulan soundtrack.

“The Fall of Man” by Groove Addicts --> this is the music I imagine when reading the Kyoshi vs Xu Ping An <3

“The Great Eatlon” by James Newton Howard.

“The Huns Attack” from the Mulan soundtrack.

“The Master Plan” from the Mulan soundtrack.

“The Moon & the Superhero” from the Hancock soundtrack.

“Their War Here” by Hanz Zimmer & Junkie XL (Batman vs. Superman soundtrack).

“The Ultimate Gift main title” from the Ultimate Gift soundtrack.

“Tornado” by Hanz Zimmer (Man of Steel soundtrack).

“Trilogy” by ATB.

“War is Coming” by Epic Score.

“We Shall Rise” by Epic Score.

“World on Fire” by Ninja Tracks.

Love

“All I Need” by Within Temptation.

“Arms” by Christina Perri.

“Beside You” by Marianas Trench.

“Back to Life” by Hailee Steinfeld.

“Boom Clap” by Charlie XCX.

“Can’t Help Falling In Love” by A*Teens.

“Crazier” by Taylor Swift.

“Everything” by Lifehouse.

“Falling in Love” by Falling Up.

“Fearless” by Taylor Swift.

“Flashlight” by Jessie J.

“First Time” by Lifehouse.

“For you I will” by Teddy Geiger.

“Hands on Me” by Vanessa Carlton.

“Here in your arms” by Hellogoodbye.

“How you get the girl” by Taylor Swift.

“I’d rather be in love” by Michelle Branch.

"Impulsive” by Wilson Phillips.

“Juliet” by LMNT.

“Love Me Like You Do” by Ellie Goulding.

“Salvation” by Gabrielle Aplin.

“She is the Sunlight” by Trading Yesterday.

“She looks so perfect” by 5 Seconds of Summer.

“Smile” by Uncle Kracker.

“Starving (feat. Zedd)” by Hailee Steinfield & Grey.

“Start of Time” by Gabrielle Aplin.

“Stolen” by Dashboard Confessional.

“Stuttering” by the Friday Night Boys.

“Thinking Out Loud” by Ed Sheeran.

“Whenever, Wherever” by Shakira.

“Wish you were here” by Avril Lavigne.

“With Me” by Sum 41.

“Yellow” by Katherine Ho.

“Your body is a wonderland” by John Mayer.

“Your Guardian Angel” by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.

Other

“I Lived” by One Republic.

“I’m Alive” by Celine Dion.

“I won’t give up” by Jason Mraz.

“Part of Me” by Katy Perry.

“Release Me” by Agnes.

“Superheroes” by The Script.

“Undefeated” by Jason Derulo. 

“Wild Heart” by Sabi.

“You’re a god” by Vertical Horizon.

Please, feel free to add to this list!

[fanfics4all]

All Of My Life

Request: Yes / No Callie Adams foster x male!reader where R and callie used to date but they broke up after they went to college and he knows the fosters. He is also part of team flash and a speedster and has hellfire magic that are not based on the meta human gene. Takes place after season 2 of good trouble and callie got a job at central city and she move to R's apartment. Callie found out and tells her to not tell anyone. Even Mariana becuase she can't keep a secret. They also have a friends with benefits with a happy ending @furiousbouquetdonutsstuff 

Please only send Harry Potter requests at the moment! <3 Have a nice day/night

Callie Adams-Foster x Male!Reader

Word count: 917

Warnings: Nothing I think

Y/N: Your Name 

Y/N/N: Your NickName

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK! 

If you want to be on the tag list for anything (My series fics, specific character fics, or just all of them) All you have to do is send me an ask and I will add you! 

Masterlist 

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

I was working with my team to try and catch the latest Meta-human villain. Flash was out scouting while we were all in S.T.A.R. Labs working on a weapon and a way to trap this guy. I was working with Iris when my phone rang. I looked at it and saw it was my ex girlfriend. I looked at it confused, but excused myself to answer it. 

“Callie? What’s up?” I asked confused. 

“Y/N! Hey, I was wondering if I could maybe move in with you?” She asked. 

“Getting right to the point, huh? No how have you been?” I asked with a laugh. 

“Sorry, but I got a new job in Central City and I don’t have a place to live…” She said with a sigh. 

“Wait really? Congratulations!” I said with a smile. 

“Thanks, but can I stay with you?” She asked again. 

“Um, yeah sure. When are you coming?” I asked. 

“In a week, I’m sorry it’s so last minute, but I just found out I got the job and I can’t afford a place on my own right now.” She said. 

“It’s not a problem Cal. I’ll send you my address.” I said. 

“You’re a lifesaver Y/N/N, thank you so much!” She said and hung up. I quickly sent her my address and then went back to the team. 

“What was that about?” Iris asked. 

“Nothing, my ex called me.” I said and they all looked at me. 

“What?” Caitlin asked. 

“What for?” Cisco asked. 

“She just got a job in town and needs a place to live.” I shrugged. 

“So you’re going to live together?” Iris asked shocked. 

“Yeah, what’s the big deal?” I asked confused. 

“Well, didn’t you guys break up for a reason?” Caitlin asked. 

“We broke up because we went to different colleges, but we’ve stayed friends.” I answered and they all smirked at me. 

“So do you still have feelings towards her?” Cisco asked. 

“I mean of course she’s amazing.” I answered and they smiled. 

“Do we get to meet her?” Iris asked. 

“Well, she doesn’t really know about my powers so maybe not right away.” I said. 

“You never told her?” Caitlin asked. 

“No, I hid it all my life, until I met you guys.” I answered. 

“If she’s gonna live with you then you should tell her.” Iris said and I shrugged. 

“Probably.” I said and we went back to work. 

A week later Callie was moving into my place, thank God I had an extra bedroom. I helped Calie move her stuff in and then we relaxed in the living room, catching up. The night ended with us in bed, like we were back in high school. That was the start of our friends with benefits. 

It’s been a month now and I still haven’t told Callie about my powers. She didn’t know the full story of my job. She hadn’t met my team yet and they were getting really annoying about wanting to meet her. So I decided to tell her tonight before we meet the team for drinks. 

“Hey, I’m home. Just let me freshen up and then we can go.” She said with a smile. 

“Actually, there’s something I need to tell you first.” I said and she sat next to me. 

“What’s up?” She asked, confused. 

“I’ve kept a secret from you for the longest time…” I started and she looked even more confused. I took a deep breath and looked down at my hands. 

“I was born with the power to control fire.” I admitted. 

“What? Is this some kind of joke?” She asked with a laugh. 

“Want me to prove it?” I asked and she nodded with her arms crossed. I opened the palm of my hand and let a small flame come out. Her eyes widened and I let the flame disappear. 

“So you have magic?” She asked and I nodded. 

“Yeah, it was just something I was born with.” I answered. 

“Also the people we’re meeting are who I work with. Some are Meta-humans and some are just smart.” I said with a laugh. 

“They’re not… evil, are they?” She asked and I smiled. 

“No Cal, I work with The Flash.” I said and her eyes widened. 

“Wait, really?” She asked. 

“Yep, I’m the Man of Fire.” I said and she nodded. 

“Right, am I all caught up now?” She asked and I nodded. 

“Great, then I’ll go get ready.” She said 

“Wait, you can’t tell anybody, especially Mariana.” I said and she nodded. 

“I promise.” She said and walked off to her room. When she was finished we went to the bar. Everyone was already there when we arrived. 

“Y/N! Over here!” Barry called and I smiled. We walked over to the table and sat down. 

“Guys, this is Callie. Callie, this is Barry, Iris, Caitlin, Cisco, and Dr. Wells.” I said introducing everyone. 

“Finally we get to meet you, Y/N has told us so much about you.” Cisco said. 

“Oh really?” Callie smirked at me. 

“How much did you tell them?” She asked. 

“Well they know you’re my ex if that’s what you’re asking.” I laughed. 

“So they know a lot.” She laughed and I nodded. 

“Pretty much.” I answered. 

“Well, tell me about you guys, it’s only fair.” She smiled. The night went really well. Everyone was getting along and I was really happy that I could finally share this part of my life with her. 

Tag list: @les-bio-lie​ @tashy-bear​ @ashwarren32​ @hollie-blogs​ @schisbro87​ @lover-of-books-and-teas​ @nerdygaloresposts​ @teenwolfbitches2​ @genius2050​ @drw0301bieber​ @softgamerking​ @lady-of-lies​ @ravenmoore14​ @ravenempress101​ @cillianchamp​ @rowanthomasknapp​ @therealchoni​ 

[smalltowndetective]

25-28 for whichever detective you want to talk about most!!! hopefully that’s not too many hehe (ily and your writing SO MUCH OMG 💕✨💖🥺)

Hi! :) Thank you for asking! ❤  (And I’ve been somewhat down on my writing lately, it means so much to me you have no idea)

Your writing is amazing! I always love reading it! ❤❤❤

But I’ve been looked at these for a while, trying to figure out who to answer for. And well, since I can’t choose, I’ll just do all four! (And put my answers under the cut because my answers, as always, get very long)

My detectives- Thea Holland (Felix), Natasha Trexler (Adam), Pearl Reid (Nate), and Mariana “Mari” Gonzales (Mason)

25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions?

27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?

Thea Holland (Felix)- Thea is not a fan of overly crude humor, nor anything that may seem to tear anyone else down, favoring quick wit over anything else. Anything with the slightest bit of word play is normally something that she would find funny, and it is something that she also has in her own sense of humor. Of all my detectives, Thea is probably the best at laughing at herself, being able to push down her embarrassment  and always keep a quite good sense of humor about it. Now, as far as her being funny herself, she doesn’t normally make jokes at all, that not being her first instinct when meeting with and talking with others, but there are moments where she’ll say something more bold then she normally would, and it still makes the team a bit stunned even after all of this time together. And while you may not see this side of her much, it is there, and the team will likely see more and more of the more humorous side of her (I would say that Felix is also good at pulling that side of her as well haha!) 

Natasha Trexler (Adam)- Natasha is not really the type to make jokes at all. She’s a bit too stoic for that, preferring to appear as serious and professional as possible. Now, she does find Felix’s jokes quite funny, but she’ll never actually admit that aloud, normally just rolling her eyes at them. She appreciates them a lot, and even if it is not the way that she would handle herself, she likes them a lot. It’s harder to define her own sense of humor. Natasha takes herself far too seriously (which some of my other detectives would find hilarious at the way that she does so haha) But something that she really finds funny? Normally dryer, satirical humor. A lot of things along these lines she thinks, but would never actually say. However, and I’m totally going to start gushing about late relationship Natasha and Adam because the idea of it is all that is keeping me through all the angst haha. Around Adam, she doesn’t feel like she has to hold all of those back anymore, and since I would say they share similar senses of humor, it’s really kind of sweet. 

Pearl Reid (Nate)- Pearl well, is my, as the secretary at the hospital in Book 1 said “a detective with sarcasm”, and well, that’s definitely true. She loves making jokes just about everything, they almost seeming to flood out of her at all times, and while she’ll normally lead to sarcasm, she has a great sense of humor about herself, and always loves to joke about anything. And well, since her humor is often based on my own stupid sense of humor, I think she’s quite funny. (And, even with Adam at the receiving end of a lot of it, Pearl always somehow ends up with the highest amount of friendship points with him, which is always so funny to me. I think it’s her workaholic nature? Not sure, but I love the dynamic haha) Now, this is going to get sadder then the others will, but kind of the same way that Nate does, she has the tendency to deflect, and her humor is her way of doing it. It’s the way that she tries to seem like she’s doing okay, even though she has a lot of parts of herself that she is never sure quite how to deal with. But Nate makes her want to open up that part of herself like no one she has known, and slowly, she has started to do so, hoping that she more she share about herself, things she is personally uncomfortable with, he’ll feel like he can come to her when he’s ready.

Mariana “Mari” Gonzales- Mari and Mason have the same sense of humor, so if that doesn’t tell you anything, I don’t know what does haha. Which, I suppose, is something that drew her to him the first time they met in her office. (With that whole “Charmed” “You shouldn’t be”) Mari would have probably answered the same way, and it was something that she appreciated, and was something that made her want her want to learn more about the brooding man in her office. She normally has a pretty good sense of humor about everything, and it can get into self-deprecating occasionally, which I’m not sure how the rest of the team sees it haha. Just like Pearl, she is makes fun of Adam constantly, but he is not her best friend in the Unit. (That honor goes to Nate haha, who surprisingly, I find compliment her more brash ways pretty well. N friendships with M detectives if really where it is at) And now if she is funny herself, just in a different way then the others, and will always take that moment, even if the situation doesn’t exactly warrant it. (Like the beginning of the Book 3 demo haha!)

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions?

Thea- Thea very much wears her heart on her sleeve, and so this goes for her feelings as well. If she’s happy, you’ll know. She might say much to anyone about it without being prompted, but she makes not effort to hide how she is feeling. (Just as Tina how Thea has been since Felix and the rest of the team came back to Wayhaven ha!) And if you give her the okay to share what’s making her happy with her, she’ll slowly, almost unsurely, start talking about it. (She’s been a few situations which have left her with the belief that no one wants to hear about herself, even though she’ll always encourage people to talk about what’s on their mind with her) But that bright gentle smile is the biggest hint to how happy she is, almost making the whole room seem brighter. Thea also hums to herself when she doing work, especially if there is no music in the background, it filling the otherwise quiet. She doesn’t like overly noisy places, but the small hints of a melody is always something that she enjoys. And with Felix and her becoming an official couple, that smile has not fully disappeared from her face since then. At times, it doesn’t feel real to her, perhaps all a dream, but it something that she will treasure and protect forever.

Natasha- In the complete opposite to Thea, Natasha does not wear her feelings openly at, and at first glance, it can be hard to tell if she has more moods then slightly annoyed and strict professionalism. After a disastrous breakup with Bobby, she became even more closed off, keeping everyone at harms length, and the way that she rationalized that she wouldn’t get hurt again was to never let herself be open to anyone. This includes her positive emotions as well, so she normally never lets herself openly be happy at all. The smallest hint of this, which is something that Adam is figuring out, if that small smile, not showing any teeth smile, a smile that is only directed to him. I don’t even know how much she’s aware that she does this, but it is something that Adam has definitely noticed. And on the topic of Adam angst, Natasha was happier then she had ever been in at least years, if not her entire life, at the night at the carnival, gently letting Adam hold her hand if he wanted to. And for the first time in forever, she made no effort to hide how happy she was. (And for course, once everything went back to how it was before with Adam, this destroyed her. She had finally let herself open slightly to him, so for him to just take 10 steps back afterward hurt her deeply, but she’ll never admit that, treating it as professionally as she can)

Pearl- Pearl gets very talkative when she’s happy, and will gladly talk your ear off if you let her haha. She’s a storyteller at heart, and loves to be able to take people through what happened, and then to hear what’s going on with them that’s good, even with the smallest littler things. There is almost a spring in her step when she’s in high spirits. (which she spends a good portion of Book 2 in haha!) One thing that I do want to write at some point is just her realization that she and Nate are dating now at the end of Book 2, perhaps after she gets back to her apartment, and just the true happiness that fills her (And with the promise of angst in the N route, Pearl deserves some happiness before all of that comes down haha!) Pearl does plenty of hiding parts of herself, but happiness is not one of them, and once she is, she makes it her mission to make everyone else smile as well, with all of the jokes that she can muster. :)

Mari- Mari is a harder one to tell in this regard. She normally keeps everything, with a very easygoing look to things, just “it is what it is” kind of outlook to life. (The only time she’ll be stubborn is with Adam ha!) Another thing that makes this harder, is all out of what is making her happy recently is things that she doesn’t understand why she feels this way. Mari had gotten in a “relationship” with Mason with the intent of it being a fling and absolutely nothing more, but then there are softer moments between them? And they make her happy? She isn’t quite sure what to do with all exactly, not thinking it would ever end up in this way, so it is a bit harder to tell for her. It’s happiness, and also confusion, and it is just this mix of emotions that I absolutely love. But with everything else besides romantic relationships? Tina is very much Mari’s soul sister, so if something good happens, she’s the first person she messages, and the two of them could end up talking for hours. I know that there is big talk of Unit Bravo and the detective being a found family (which I adore don’t get me wrong), but the reason why Mari is still in Wayhaven in the first place, even though she likes the city more is because of the family-ish vibes she has with Tina. With a sour relationship with her mother, she has never really had that before, and so it means a lot to her. (And of all my detectives, she’s probably the quickest to adopt Bravo as the same, Thea a close second)

27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?

Thea- Unlike happiness, sadness is something that she tries desperately to hide, though people seem to know how she’s feeling anyway. Of all my detectives, Thea cares the most about what people think about her, so even with her best efforts they don’t, this is something that really makes her upset. (Trying to wait to talk about her fears to the next question haha) Thea does have a lot of guilt about everything that has happened in Wayhaven, from being unable to stop Murphy before Garrett Hayes’s murder, to Sanja’s death and beyond. These failures haunt her, and it is something that she can’t quite shake. I do think that she cries quite regularly about it, but is is all hidden, believing that not anyone would want to have to deal with her like that. The only person who’ll she cry openly in front of? Felix. Like in the end of Book 2. Even with the whisper in her head that she’s just annoying him and he has no reason to care about this at all, she let herself do it anyway, and his comfort was enough. (And now, I’ve made myself sad) But, I on the topic on what she is like sad, she’s quieter then normal, barely speaking at all, her smiles very obviously masking. But she doesn’t want to drag anyone down with her own feelings, so she’ll do her best to move forward with it anyway, as much as it hurts.

Natasha- Natasha keeps sadness just as tightly locked as her feelings for happiness. She is still deeply affected by her breakup with Bobby, but you’ll never know this. It takes so much for her to trust someone, and to have that thrown to the side, well, she’s had trouble trusting that others won’t do the same to her since. Now, back onto that night at the carnival. While we do not know much anything about the immediate aftermath of hand holding/shoulder lean, what I have for now is that the next day, when she found out that Adam had just pushed two of the further apart. She had to take a minute to be alone, where a few tears probably feel, but she put herself back into the “I have to keep my composure” mood pretty quickly, not daring to ever let anyone know how much it affected her. A second thought went through her head next, which was “If he wants to make this a professional relationship, fine. He can have it this way” And even though I don’t think this happens in the actual book, Natasha started reverting back to using Commanding Agent instead of his name, which she was starting to use more of, but he quite literally ruined that with one fell swoop. And how she is when she is sad, if you do try to talk to her, her tone come across as very sharp and harsh without really meaning to, it her own protection mechanism to hide just how hurt she is.

Pearl- Pearl does everything that she can to avoid being sad, more for the people around her. She has gone through many periods of self doubt and personal struggles, which never fail to bring her back to a darker place, but she pushes forward anyway, hoping that the future will be just as bright as she is hoping it is. She is more likely to cry out of frustration, pretty openly as well, then out of sadness. (which I feel like might happen more and more with how the future books are looking haha!) Sadness in others always kind of makes her panic, and she always rushes to try and fix it, sometimes not being very successful at all, but she does try her best in that regard. When she is sad, it is not the most obvious thing, but there is almost a catch in her voice in her normal tongue and cheek comments, her smile not as wide, and while it is something that many people would overlook, Nate definitely notices. Pearl did save Sanja over Nate, and Nate ending up the way that he did is something that won’t quite leave her alone. She has already decided that if she has to do something like this again, she’s going to save Nate. She knows it’s selfish, but she isn’t sure if she could go through that panic again.

Mari- Mari is especially hard to tell when she is feeling down at all, the only people really able to tell are Tina and (just starting to) Mason. She doesn’t really talk about the things that bother her all that much, preferring to hide it all instead of actually doing something about it. One thing that makes her sad is her relationship with her mother, as angry as she is about her being absent during her childhood. She wishes it didn’t have to be the way that it is now, and as much as her sudden involvement does not make up for anything, she is open (as of the Book 3 demo) to finally maybe work on that relationship. She knows that they’ll never be very close, but it is a step not to attack her every time she shows concern to her. Mari very rarely cries, even with things that truly affect her, but on the very rare occasion that she is, her fears of looking vulnerable fall away, and it doesn’t matter just how many people see. (Again, very rare circumstances) When she is sad, she normally has her eyes most downcast then normal, avoiding eye contact, which unless you know her very well, this will not come off as anything weird, especially with her sharp words. 

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

Thea- Well for Thea, it is pretty much tied for rejection and loss, the two kind of working together. She has been in situations in which the other person didn’t share her feelings, and she is terrified of this happening again with Felix, doing or saying something stupid that would push him away. With all of her Murphy nightmares, being quite traumatized by what happened, the nightmare that scares her the most is just everything being gone between them, as if it never happened. And one thing that does replay in her nightmares about Murphy is being dragged away while Felix stayed unmoving on the ground. She is so scared of losing him, in death and in the relationship sense. (That “I’m scared of losing you too” line in the demo? Just wow, the amount spoken for Thea in that line) Her fears of loss and rejection also directly tie into her relationship with her mother. Thea did everything she could to keep that relationship strong, it being very one sided in that aspect, because as a child and even now, she feared that if she did not, her mother would leave and never come back, and she’ll be alone. It was one of the reasons why she did so well in school, because she thought that if she was a good child, she wouldn’t leave her behind. And well, some missions do tend to freak her out as well. (She was very on edge with that whole talk with Falk). When she is scared, Thea normally tries to put on a brave face, making sure everyone else is okay and putting others before herself, but the uncertain look in her eyes and the slight trembling in her voice is enough to show how she is truly feeling.

Natasha- Natasha’s biggest fear is the loss of control in her life. (This ties into her fear of the ocean, it being way too vast and unpredictable) She is a planner, she makes schedules, she follows them to a T, keeping her on track. She had the next few years planned out when she became a detective of all the things that she wanted to do to help the town, only to have her mother and Unit Bravo burn them as soon as they walked into her office in Book 1. She was so used to how her life was, and now with the supernatural, it is making her more and more anxious with the fact that she’ll never get her life back. And at the second that she thought she had so much control over her feelings, Adam goes and throws a wrench it that. As more and more things continue to pile up, it is getting harder and harder for her to take, both with the supernatural and the whole thing with Adam. (She is scared of not being able to figure out what is going with Adam until it is too late to say anything, but she’ll never admit that) When she is scared, kind of like what happened with Murphy, she goes completely silent, not trusting herself to say anything, and even if she wanted to, her tongue feeling swollen in her mouth anyway. And with the newest trouble that has come to Wayhaven in Book 3, these feelings of losing control are only going to increase, and she might have to face that her life will never be back to her carefully kept plans again.

Pearl- Pearl’s biggest fear is being alone. Not so much in a romantic sense (though this can be applied as well, especially as her and Nate get more serious), but how not having anyone she can turn to get support and to give that support back. She is very much a people person, and she craves that connection with someone. (And with the promise of N angst, I’m very scared of the future for her haha) She has looked in a lot of places for it, some places where she really shouldn’t have looked for it, but her romantic ways got the better of her, and it ends up with her hurt in the end. During the time up to Book 1, she hadn’t been in a relationship in a while, instead trying to figure herself out before thrusting herself into any new relationships. Then she meets Nate, and she is, in her own words, “enchanted” by him pretty quickly, and she continues to relish all of the closeness between them. She has buried the Murphy trauma, which is always something that seems to show its face in the worst of times for her, something that she has not been able to fully get over, as much as she wants to. (She never had a issue with blood before Murphy, but now? She wants nothing to do with it) And when she is scared, quite unsurprisingly, she normally lets her sarcasm lead the way in a attempt to hide just how scared she is. (She also tends to go back to humor when trying to comfort someone else, or even asking someone how they are doing, when she knows something is up) Pearl wants to be there for people, in any way that they will have her.

Mari- Mari’s biggest fear is being vulnerable. She knows that giving someone her heart would just give them the power to destroy her, and she would do anything for this not to happen. And while she can quite rudely tell her mother just how she still resents her, Mari would die if she found out just how much her absences truly hurt her. She’s kept a high wall around the softer parts of herself for so long, only to want to tear that down for Mason of all people. But, at the moment, she is refusing to let them down just yet. It’s not like Mason would do the same for her, right? And until she feels comfortable that she is not the only one with this confusing mess of feelings, she’s going to keep them quite closely fastened to her chest. And well she kind of brushed off with what happened with Murphy, she is haunted by how Mason ended up after she saved Sanja, and it maybe forced her to realize that she did indeed have them in the first place. (Though she is denying that currently) But when she is scared? Mari full on panics. She does not handle fear nor stress very well, and when it is down to the wire, she can make some pretty rash decision she would not have made otherwise. 

This is way more then you asked for, but I hope you like this anyway! :) You are the best! ❤

[marinarasbench]

Astoria: A Journey in Threes

“Everything happens, it happens in threes” a statement in trimeter, sung in 3/4 time, in an overture of 3 movements. Astoria is the title track off of the album, Astoria, the band Marianas Trench’s 3rd concept album, meant to emulate the coming-of-age 80’s movie soundtrack and heavily influenced by its namesake, The Goonies. This in mind, the metaphor of 3’s extends further to tell this story, referencing the superstition that bad things come in 3’s. The three movements of this piece reflect that, telling the story of the hardships of songwriter Josh Ramsay’s life post the highs of winning a Grammy for writing Call Me Maybe and landing a US record deal with his own band’s double-platinum album, Ever After. The movements follow the pain of learning his mother has Lewy Body Dementia and the rapid deterioration that followed, his struggle and consequential frustration in trying to write music that lived up to his recent success that led to his fiancé calling off their wedding, and finally, his resulting drinking problem that landed him in the hospital for pancreatitis.

The first lines of the song open over a synth motif, “Astoria, I’m warning you, / Not ready yet, not for you,” a shout into a void of reverb. These lines set the tone of the coming-of-age tale, never being prepared to grow up but being faced with the journey ahead. The next line, “Don’t want to know my darkest lows / my blackest pitch, murder of crows” enhances this denial as the notes descend. Each phrase starts with a step up one pitch followed by a fall of three steps, continuing this descent into adversity when forced to say, “goodbye mother’s fairy tale”. The entire first movement then references being forced to grow into adulthood by losing his mother. This is wrapped in a beautiful metaphor in the second verse of the first movement by the phrase, “slow rebirth,” that could mean two things, one is that Lewy Body Dementia attacks the brain so aggressively that it forces people “to the cradle again”, a common theme throughout the album of helping his mother as her adulthood disappears. The other option is that this is meant to talk about how these experiences reshaped who he was as a person and forced him to grow up, something he feels he struggled to do his whole life. This is followed by the desperation found in the lines, “Don’t remind me what the price is / When left to my own devices’ / Cause I'll find out in all due time / What happens to never say die”, saying that he feels he can’t be responsible for himself and can’t survive on his own. This is possibly a reference to the drinking problem that sent him to the hospital a year later. The use of “Never say die” from The Goonies is another example of this childhood mantra fading from his head, having to come to terms with the fact that someone he loves is dying and he is helpless. The movement ends referencing the role this played in his downward spiral to his hospitalization, mentioning, “I’ll say whatever doesn't make me stronger kills me / But it's going to be a long year / Till the hospital can find hope in me” Two new voices enter in a call and response. “Tell me I survive,” sings Miles Ramsay, the songwriter's father, shadowed by Josh Ramsay’s sister, Sarah, asking, “Do I survive you Astoria?” The repetition of the lines implies a growing urgency. This makes this moment a family struggle in which everyone is unsure if they can grow past this and learn to live without their mother or wife. This is finalized with a trio of Josh Ramsay joining his father and sister to sing, “Do you know everything happens / It happens in threes”, another layer of the metaphor of threes that leads into the second movement.

The second movement completely changes the musical motifs, taking away the rock drums and bright guitars and replacing it with fuzzy synthesizer over a heavy 4-on-the-floor pulsing bass drum beat. This introduces the first line, “A fever blur through names obscured”. You can immediately feel the drunkenness in the distant, quiet, haunting music, “And speech is slurred” confuses your brain with the layers of chorus and vocals that don’t quite line up and emphasize the onomatopoeia of “slur” by packing in alliteration with “speech” and elongating both S’s with a lingering, whispering, creepy voice that is distorted out of existence as the story of how he ended up here unfolds. “I'm on my own you came alone / All dressed up in bad news / I know you can hurt too / This would be the wrong move / Maybe we should leave soon”. To have come alone, dressed up in bad news meaning he is there alone as a direct response to something, presumably relationship issues. By the time we reach “This would be the wrong move” we get the impression of the rebound hookup contrasted with this hazed judgement. He knows its wrong and he’s going to do it anyway, made clear when he throws caution to the wall and sings, “Hey ever just say fuck it? / Maybe I'll drink this all away in buckets / Oh, hey, might as well say fuck it / I want to hurt myself until I love it”. This gets into the vice of drinking as a response to his mother’s health and his fiancé leaving him, the lack of parental guidance and being left to his own devices, his coping mechanisms having never formed past substance use and self-destructive behavior. “And the little deaths / Are a little less even if its just for a moment / Hey lets all say fuck it / I’m gonna make my mother so proud of it,” tells the listeners of the song that this is both a sardonic dig at his own behavior and feeling like he’s letting his mother down as well as letting the listener know that this is something he’s hurt over, that he so desperately wants to make his mother proud and he feels both that he as a person is incapable of being someone she could be proud of.

The final movement is ushered in by Josh Ramsay’s lead vocals screaming the main musical motif that has been present through the entire song while the set player goes crazy with drum fills and the bass and guitar hit their power chords to radiate and take up space underneath him in an epic climax of emotion. After the moment of silent reflection, the lines from the first movement return, “I'll say whatever doesn't make me stronger kills me / Buts its going to be a long year / Till the hospital might find hope in me”. Ramsay makes it a point to draw out the word “long” in a screaming belt that emphasizes just how much pain he’s going to go through that feels never-ending. The continued motif of tipping the common “Whatever doesn’t kill me makes me stronger” on its head helps describe the catastrophic impact of all of these issues in his life, feeling like everything is so hard, taking such a large toll, that he’s slowly dying, that all this hardship is killing him. This leads to a desperate call and response of the title, “Astoria” between Josh Ramsay and his family on the album, one again in a set of three. The desperation of his scream contrasted with the angelic harmonies of his family’s support create such a dire dichotomy that completely changes the effect of the word. The calls for “Astoria” fade out and the only thing left is a desolate quiet filled only with the slow pings of a piano, so high it sounds like a music box slowing down to a stop, and single broken voice singing over it. These final lines feel like a lullaby, repeating the last wish in the night, “Let the melody save me Astoria / Let the melody save me Astoria”, feeling almost child-like, begging for help from some kind of savior. “The quid pro quo's that will compose / From esoteric to common prose” is the line wrapped in the most layers of metaphor. Quid pro quo’s being an exchange, a bargain, and esoteric to common meaning it is something that started obscure but became something common, constant and expected. The important words in this phrase then are “compose” and “prose”, which relate it to language, this is something that is being sung or said. Likely, this is then about denial and coming to terms with his mom’s health, his fiancé leaving him, and his drinking as a result that led to his hospitalization. It’s all a form of grieving, and the exchange happens in composing lies and attempts to deny and justify behavior. The more you try to convince yourself that things are okay, the more you say the same things, the same lies, until they are “common prose”. Finally, the song closes with a chorus of voices from the band, their families, and friends singing, “Astoria”, leading into an upward key change that provides a hint of hope at the end of the journey.