#you know he's going though it when innie is the one to initiate a hug

[echo-rambles]

can't believe I wrote 23k words of pure fluff for changjin. there's truly hardly any angst at all, it's kind of wild. just a bunch of pining, really. meanwhile in a completely different tab, I've already written 4k words of angst for minsung. I'm so sorry kings

[stayndays]

𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙮 𝙠𝙞𝙙𝙨’ 𝙠𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙨 !

was not requested! hope you enjoy~

Bang Chan —

the shyest kisses in the universe yet they still somehow make you flustered af??

how does he do it??

but he always and i mean always smile into your kisses, giggling a little bit when he pulls back before he goes in to kiss you again

such a romantic as well

because he’s always one for those running hugs followed by smashing your lips together when he finally comes home

he just loves you so much and he wishes he can express all of those emotions through his kisses

(spoiler alert: he does ^^)

Lee Minho —

winner of the superlative “most likely to kiss you in front of the boys and not care whatsoever”

he could literally initiate a make out session right then and there and if you do, the other members are like “guys please”

(not gonna explain what making out with minho is like though JFDKSJFDK)

very passionate kisser though!! puts 100% into his kisses, not the type for lazy kisses

however, his favorite kisses are ones of comfort, like when you need to reassure each other that everything will be okay

because he gets to pour every ounce of love he has for you into those moments :((

Seo Changbin —

he’s a begger HE’S A BEGGER

“y/n!! kiss!! kiss!!”

he’s like an annoying fly buzzing around you with only one goal in mind: to make your life miserable until you give him a kiss

but of course you give in after a short amount of time because you don’t want him to be too sad you’re ignoring him :(

afterwards he becomes so clingy,, like a koala,, he can never get enough of you i swear

and then he starts to beg for more kisses like COME ON

don’t worry though, if he’s not begging you for kisses, he’s giving you kisses himself ^_^

Hwang Hyunjin —

here comes mr plump lip man rocking our world

but really? the number one way to get him to kiss you?

to act cute T-T

which is really 24/7 according to hyunjin, but it’s those extra cute moments that makes him have the sudden urge to kiss you!!

there’s a sparkle in your eyes? kiss! you give him a random bear hug? kiss! you pout?? it’s over for him, kiss kiss kiss!!

he’s also the type to grab your face out of nowhere and place messy kisses all over the place like a madman

“jinnie!! your kisses are so wet!”

“don’t care >:)”

Han Jisung —

his kisses are an embodiment of his hyper energy levels... like a happy lil’ quokka who just received a slice of cheesecake

he tends to kiss you out of pure excitement; maybe the group just won something or you cooked him a meal after a long day

it’s his first reaction no matter what, to give you a big ol’ kiss on the lips!! or literally anywhere on your face!!

but this also means that there’s a huge amount of unexpected kisses in your relationship

you could be doing literally anything and all of a sudden he runs up and gives you a huge SMOOCH

you never really mind though... except for the time he messed you up when you were playing that boss fight in a video game >:(

legend says he’s still apologizing to this day

Lee Felix —

literally the sweetest kisses ever... omg

they somehow manage to taste like sugar cookies and you don’t know how he does it, but are you complaining?? no!!

must(!!!) touch you while kissing, whether he’s holding your hand or caressing your cheek or having a grip on your waist

it just helps him keep in touch with reality... like wow... you actually exist and he’s actually kissing you right now... how did he get so lucky?

and once he pulls away from your face, he goes in to crush you with one of his hugs WOW i really am murdering myself tonight

also: always takes the opportunity to call you cute/pretty/handsome/beautiful. always. and it never fails to make you flustered!!

Kim Seungmin —

his kisses are somehow very clean and crisp(?????), never too messy for his taste

but then again

he also always laughs when kissing you :((

it’s just a habit for him at this point,,

maybe it’s because of the whine you let out before the two of you connected lips or maybe it’s because the kiss was so sudden it caught you off guard

or maybe, just maybe, it’s because he loves you too much to handle and it just pours out a little too much at times

he’ll never admit that to you, though ^^;

Yang Jeongin —

i am so in love with him just please be aware of that before you start reading this

innie used to be very shy with kisses, only giving you pecks if you asked for them

but the longer the two of you stay together, the more he starts to tease you with kisses

he becomes so cheeky with his kisses, it’s almost unfair :(

dodging your attempts at kissing him left and right, you pout whenever you miss and he just laughs evilly

when you finally succeed (maybe he let you win but he’ll never tell you that), he celebrates with you:

“oh!! good job sweetpea! now here comes your prize.. :D”

and then he just suffocates you with kisses, both of his heads on the sides of your head so you can’t escape his wrath

now im sad

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

after i found this post to be copied on another site without my permission, i ask you readers to NOT claim a content creator’s work as your own, as well as to NOT repost any content that’s not yours without the creator’s permission. thank you!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

read more of my works here!

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[cuddlepilefics]

Hug me again, I don't feel good

Fandom: Stray Kids

Sickie: Jeongin

Caregivers: Stray Kids

Prompt: Fever @sicktember

No one’s POV.:

Stray Kids members always tended to drown their maknae in affection and although he always pretended to hate it, Jeongin secretly liked it. As long as the didn’t undermine his independence that is. Him pretending to hate their hugs, led to the members toning it down a bit, only going full out when they were in a teasing mood and felt like going on their youngest’s nerves. Today they had had to get up early, having a packed schedule ahead of them and not having slept much, the mood ranged from sleepy to grumpy. Jeongin certainly fell into the latter category. He wasn’t usually moody when he was tired but when he was woken up this morning, he felt more exhausted than he had when going to bed the previous night. As soon as they were in the car, he leaned his head on Hyunjin’s shoulder, dozing off again. Considering it was a rather long drive, most of them were trying to get a few more moments of shut eye. Their day would start with a photo shoot, followed by an interview and an afternoon of dance practice. To say Jeongin wasn’t looking forward to it would have been an understatement. He didn’t mind the photo shoot, which was comparably the least tiring activity of the day. The interview wasn’t too bad either but he really dreaded their dance practice, feeling too tired to move. Maybe he’d just need to wake up properly and he’d feel more energized over the course of the day.

While they took turns getting their make-up done, the group slowly started to come to life more. Chan had had his second coffee of the day, making the mistake of getting Felix one too, who was now going through a variety of fortnite dances and hyping Jisung up. The rapper didn’t even need coffee to go crazy, merely someone else he was sharing a braincell with. Together the two tried their hardest to get a reaction from Changbin by annoying him but the older kept a straight face, simply ignoring the pair. At some point, even Chan joined them. Minho and Hyunjin had originally started planning their dance practice but had soon gone over to teasing each other, which escalated to Minho threatening his dongsaeng. Seungmin and Jeongin really seemed like the most normal ones in the group. On other days, Jeongin might have joined his hyungs, having fun and fooling around but today he just couldn’t seem to shake his sleepy haze. Maybe he should get himself a coffee too, since it seemed to have worked wonders on Chan and Felix. Unfortunately, the photo shoot started before Jeongin had the chance to get coffee but the boy pushed the thought away. Busying himself would certainly do the trick too.

The photo shoot didn’t go as well as Jeongin would have liked. Usually, he had no issues with the bright lights surrounding him but they sure made the temperature on set toasty. The maknae was sweating much more than he was used to during photo shoots, even having to get his make-up retouched multiple times. This wasn’t like him and it was humiliating. The staff already clicking their tongues at the boy constantly needing his make-up fixed. Aside from the humiliation, Jeongin felt plainly disgusting with his clothes sticking to him. As his mood was dwindling, his discomfort became more apparent to himself and to the photographer, who kept reminding him to smile authentically. How could he smile authentically right now? He was sore from exercising the previous day, he was burning in his skin, his clothes stuck to him and pretty much everyone on set was annoyed with him. No, smiling seemed like the least thing he wanted to do right now, yet Jeongin always smiled. Maybe not as convincingly as usual but he smiled.

The more time passed, the more the hectic surroundings were getting to him. He was pretty much melting in the thick clothes and was slowly developing a headache, with how bright everything was. The flashing lights were worse though, leaving him feeling disoriented as he tried to follow the instructions given to him as fast as possible in hopes of getting things over with. Sweat was beading his forehead but instead of sending him to get his make up retouched once again, the photographer decided to take a few last pictures, which he’d edit later on, before releasing the boy back to the waiting area. A few of the members still needed to get their individual shots taken, so it was rather quiet back there. Jeongin debated removing his make-up completely but he didn’t want to bother anyone to put another full make-up on him for their interview later. This wasn’t his first photo shoot, so why had he been struggling so badly? In a matter of minutes, the smile he had plastered on, faltered and a single tear trailed down his cheek. Then another. Pursing his lips, Jeongin tried his hardest to calm down and hold the tears back. He didn’t want to mess up his make-up even more. The harder he tried though, the harder it got to keep it together. Yet he only allowed himself tiny, quiet sniffles after already being a burden to so many people so early in the day. He just wanted to be professional.

His efforts were in vain though, when Chan entered the waiting area after finishing his shots. He knew his dongsaeng well enough and calmly went over hugging the younger. “What’s up?”, the leader hummed, taking a step back when Jeongin tensed in his arms. The maknae was already sweating and he didn’t want to be touched, feeling as disgusting as he felt at the moment. “Frustrated”, Jeongin muttered, avoiding eye contact with his hyung, “was holding everyone back with how often I needed to get my make-up fixed.” – “It’s alright. Don’t worry, everyone who’s stood under those floodlights will understand. It does get toasty there sometimes”, Chan assured. He knew he’d probably feel the same if he was in Jeongin’s position, so he made a mental note to make sure the boy wouldn’t get teased for it. The maknae had already accepted that crying had ruined his make-up beyond what could be fixed and accepted the make-up wipe his hyung handed him. Still sniffling quietly, he scrubbed at his face to get it all off. He already contemplated what to tell the staff, who’d need to reapply everything for their interview earlier. At some point, he had managed to pull himself together but still looked a bit gloomy, besides, his face had taken a flushed pink shade, probably from how roughly he had rubbed it. Handing him a bottle of water, Chan sighed: “You feeling better now?” Jeongin shrugged. Did he? He was still just as hot as he had been previously and his head still hurt, through he wasn’t as disoriented. It was nice and quiet now, there were less people and it was less bright, so he had probably just gotten overwhelmed earlier. “I think today’s just not really my day”, he pouted, “I feel like I still haven’t managed to wake myself up and my head hurts from all the chaos.” – “Should we go and get you some coffee? Might at least help for the interview”, Chan offered, “Come on, let’s get out of here for a bit.”

Chan took his dongsaeng to a coffee shop nearby. They could have gotten coffee somewhere closer but he wanted to give the younger some space from their work environment. Jeongin however shuddered the moment he stepped foot outside the building. It wasn’t cold outside but the temperature change messed with his body. The maknae didn’t even notice how he started to walk progressively closer to Chan till the older wrapped an arm around his shoulders, asking: “Are you cold?” Jeongin shook his head but was betrayed by another shiver running down his spine. ‘That’s odd’, Chan noted but decided not to point it out. Instead, he just let the younger stay as close as he wanted. That proved to be of great help when Jeongin stumbled, tripping himself and only being saved the fall by the leader’s arms around his middle. “S-Sorry”, he laughed shakily, already tearing up again. “No, it’s okay”, Chan assured, moving away when the younger regained his balance. That resulted in a whine from Jeongin, who moved along, leaning against the Aussie. “Innie, what’s going on?”, the leader frowned worriedly, confused by the maknae’s behavior. Realizing his actions, Jeongin straightened up and mumbled: “Dizzy.” Why couldn’t the other hug him again? It was exactly what he needed right now, with how upset and cold he felt.

From that moment on, Chan kept a very close eye on Jeongin. He really didn’t seem to be himself today. After they had gotten coffee and returned to the venue, the youngest had gotten comfortable against Felix’ side, who absentmindedly ran a hand up and down the younger’s back. Felix noticed how damp and sticky Jeongin’s shirt still was and offered him to get changed into a fresh one. “No, don’t want to take it off. I’m cold”, the maknae protested, catching most of the members’ attention. Shaking his head, Felix sighed: “Yeah, no wonder you are cold. Your shirt is wet. You’ll feel warmer in a dry one.” – “Hyung, can I have your hoodie?”, Jeongin pouted, giving Hyunjin puppy eyes, who was quick to give it to him. By now, all of them had caught on to their youngest acting weird but could they blame him? They had slept so little, none of them could possibly be in their right mind. At least Jeongin seemed satisfied, pulling the long sleeves of the dancer’s hoodie over his palms. Knowing they’d have the interview next, they all filed into the van.

As soon as they were settled, Jeongin cuddled into Minho’s side, the dancer sitting next to him taken a back. It wasn’t usually Jeongin initiating the skinship but that didn’t mean he minded it. Smiling softly, Minho played with the maknae’s hair and studied the younger’s face. His closed eyes seemed a bit puffy, brows furrowed while sweat beaded his forehead and a small droplet dripped down his temple. Not knowing whether the boy was awake, Minho didn’t dare ask Chan if anything had happened while they were gone. Instead he just decided to let the boy rest on him. Looking up, he met eyes with Jisung, who seemed to think the same. Something wasn’t right. When they arrived, Minho went ahead to talk to Chan, leaving a sleepy Jeongin in his seat. Jisung had stayed behind to wait for the younger, linking their arms but still lagging behind. “Is everything okay, Innie? You seem off”, the rapper asked quietly. At this point, the maknae didn’t feel like keeping up appearances anymore and hesitantly admitted: “I kinda feel off.” – “Are you sick? You know we could let you sit out if you’re sick”, Jisung frowned but his dongsaeng was quick to shake his head, muttering: “I don’t think I am. Probably just slept too little and don’t feel like myself.” The older nodded thoughtfully as he guided Jeongin to get his make-up done again.

Jeongin was the only one needing his make-up done, which gave the rest of the group some time to talk. “He isn’t usually that clingy and he just admitted to feeling off”, Jisung informed and Chan nodded, sighing: “He was really emotional earlier and after almost falling over, he said he was dizzy.” – “Don’t you think he might just be tired? He does tend to get more affectionate when he’s tired”, Hyunjin mused looking at Jisung who had talked to their youngest mere minutes before. Nodding, Jisung pointed out: “He doesn’t think he’s sick and told me he slept to little but I need, who hasn’t? Yet he is the only one that out of it.” – “He seemed to be in pain when we drove here”, Minho disagreed, looking at Chan worriedly. The leader shook his head and sighed: “Let’s just wait, I’m sure Innie would talk to us if something was badly wrong.” Not feeling satisfied with that, Seungmin slipped out of the room, to check on his only dongsaeng privately. He quietly stood in the doorway, watching the younger doze off in the chair. “Do you feel alright, Jeongin-ah? Your face feels really warm”, their make-up noona asked, carefully applying a thick layer of concealer under his eyes to cover the lack of sleep. Jeongin smiled a bit and hummed: “I think the bright lights at the photo shoot heated my skin up a bit. I’m okay.” Seungmin however was only more convinced that the younger was not. Especially now that somebody else was sensing something off as well.

When his make-up was done, the make-up noona glanced at Seungmin and smiled before leaving the two boys alone to talk. “Hey”, Seungmin hummed, sitting down next to Jeongin, “How do you really feel? Something’s not right.” That was enough to bring the younger to tears again and he chewed on his lip, desperately trying to not ruin his make-up again. “H-hyung, I -I don’t know”, he breathed. He cursed himself, why did he have to be so emotional today? When he didn’t elaborate further, Seungmin got up and pulled Jeongin into a hug. He too noticed the heat radiating off the maknae and gently brushed his hand against the boy’s forehead, calmly asking: “Can you describe what you feel? Maybe we can make sense of it.” Jeongin nodded and took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. “I-I just feel really out of it, like I still haven’t woken up since this morning although I’ve been up for hours and even had coffee with Channie-hyung. My head hurts since the photo shoot and I keep sweating although I’m not hot at all anymore. I’m pretty cold actually”, he admitted with shaky hands, “For some reason I don’t feel really steady on my feet and kinda dizzy and I’m really sore from exercising yesterday. Could – could you hug me again? I don’t feel good.” Seungmin complied instantly, hugging the younger tightly and whispering: “I think you’re sick, Innie. To me it feels like you’re sporting quite a fever, which would explain why you feel the way you feel.” – “I can’t – I can’t be sick. My stomach feels perfectly fine, so it couldn’t be a stomach bug but my nose and throat are perfectly fine too, so it couldn’t be a cold either. None of this makes sense, why does nothing make sense?”, Jeongin whimpered, getting worked up again. “Shh, some bugs come only with a fever but that doesn’t make you any less sick. Does that make sense?”, Seungmin soothed, running his hand up and down the younger’s back. Sniffling quietly, the maknae nodded. Unwrapping himself from his dongsaeng, Seungmin smiled: “Alright, let’s go to the others and see what we’ll do about it, yeah?”

He pulled Jeongin to his feet too but the boy stumbled as soon as he was upright, crashing into Seungmin’s chest. Luckily, the older was quick to react and tightened his arms around the maknae, holding him steady while they waited for the dizzy spell to pass. Then they walked back to the room where the rest of the group was waiting. “Hyung, Innie’s sick and running a fever”, Seungmin announced as they walked up to Chan. Pressing the backs of his fingers against Jeongin’s forehead, the leader frowned: “You’re burning. Why didn’t you say anything?” – “I-I …” – “Hyung, we pieced it all together just now. He wasn’t aware”, Seungmin explained, reassuringly holding the younger’s hand. Jeongin nodded, face crumpling as Chan pulled him into a hug. “Do you want to wait here for us to finish the interview?” – “N-no, I can do it. They don’t have many questions for me anyway”, the youngest insisted. Minho joined them, agreeing: “We can cover for him, he just has to sit and look pretty. It’d be more frustrating to be dragged here for nothing. Afterwards we’ll take you home, yeah Innie?” – “No, I want to go with you”, Jeongin whined, always hating to be alone when he was feeling poorly. “We’ll see about that, let’s just get this interview over with”, Chan settled, seeing that it was their time to go on stage.

It went quite well with Jeongin just sitting there in silence. When they walked off the stage though, the maknae broke down, the tears he had held back, now spilling over. Felix was quick to pull him to a quiet corner of the room, cooing: “What’s wrong?” – “Do-Don’t know”, the younger choked out, his voice cracking pitifully. “Just really emotional, huh?”, Jisung hummed, running his hand through Jeongin’s hair. He had followed them worriedly, only getting more worried when the maknae desperately tried to pull himself together but failed. Watching him struggle like this really broke their hearts. Holding his dongsaeng tight, Felix whispered lowly: “You can cry, Innie. Don’t suppress and bottle it up. If you feel like crying, that’s alright, we don’t judge.” The younger nodded, hiding his face against the dancer’s shoulder. Giving them some privacy, Jisung went to get changed. When he was done, Hyunjin had already taken a bunch of make-up wipes and traded places with Felix, so the Aussie could get changed too. “Come on, let’s get your make-up off, so you can sleep. I bet you’re tired”, Hyunjin hummed, gently removing his dongsaeng’s make-up. He did his best to make the younger boy comfortable and couldn’t help but coo at how adorable Jeongin looked in his hoodie.

They got back into the car, where Jeongin settled against Seungmin, shivering slightly. Chan carefully hung his jacket around his youngest dongsaeng’s shoulders and smiled when the boy’s eyes closed. With how exhausted Jeongin was, it came as a surprise to none when the calm movement of the car lulled him to sleep. Not having the heart to wake him, Chan ended up carrying the maknae up to their dorm and to his bed. Minho soon followed them with a bottle of water and fever-reducers, which he placed on Jeongin’s nightstand, along with a note to take them later, when he woke up. When the two oldest members were satisfied their dongaseng was settled, they left the room and got ready for dance practice. Jisung plugged the maknae’s phone in to charge before leaving his roommate to get some rest. While Minho and Hyunjin discussed their dance practice, Felix grabbed a few plushies and took them to Jeongin’s room, so he wouldn’t feel too lonely while they were gone. They were almost ready to leave, originally scheduled to head straight to the company building from the venue of their interview, so they were running a little late. Changbin decided to make one last trip to the bathroom, running a washcloth under cold water and taking it to the maknae’s room. When he gently brushed Jeongin’s hair out of his face, the boy’s eyes fluttered open, disorientedly blinking up at the rapper. “Shh, go back to sleep”, he shushed, carefully spreading the cold compress on his dongsaeng’s burning forehead. He didn’t want to mention the medicine because that would’ve probably woken the younger up completely and they had agreed to let him sleep at all costs. Jeongin would find the medicine when he woke up. Hoping he’d sleep through most of their dance practice, so he wouldn’t feel lonely, Changbin promised: “We’ll be back before you know it.” Then he snuck out of the room and joined the others, eager to get their practice over with and back to the dorm as soon as possible.

[koishua]

𝙂𝙀𝙏 𝙏𝙊 𝙆𝙉𝙊𝙒 𝙈𝙀 𝙏𝘼𝙂 !

tagged by: @luvvseong @yangyangify @spookybias @iuwon @floraljae (thank you, my loves <3)

tagging: @zhongwrld @moonbeamsung @rutosruru @lyjikyu @armysantiny @kopikokun @mochiable @envirae @channoticedmeuwu @radiorenjun @lebrookestore @whiteprincessofnohr + anyone who would like to do it!!

notes from vie: oml what the hell was this. honestly, this was so long, but i think it allowed me to reflect upon myself for a moment lmao.

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙖𝙮 𝙞𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙗𝙞𝙧𝙩𝙝𝙙𝙖𝙮

october twenty eighth! on winwin day, nonetheless!

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩❜𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙤𝙧

i adore every single one smh. if it were palettes we were speaking about, then it would probably be greyish blue tones and beige to yellow ones!

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩❜𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙡𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙮 𝙣𝙪𝙢𝙗𝙚𝙧

my lucky number does not work, because my misfortune overpowers it way too much. i like the number eight, though!

𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙥𝙚𝙩𝙨

i used to have pet baby cobras, fishes, yellow and blue budgies, and aquatic turtles!

𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪

i am aspiring to reach 170 cm, but i am currently 159-160 cm! that would be 5'2"?? i think.

𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚

a pair of combat boots, white canvas shoes, and one sneakers for sports class... not many lmao i am not a shoe gal.

𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙜

changes everyday. as i am typing, however, it would be lose it by oh wonder, rush hour by gaho and run by one republic!

𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙫𝙞𝙚

i have three: rise of the guardians, room (2015), and... any studio ghibli movie tbh. whoops.

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙡 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙣𝙚𝙧 𝙗𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚

i say that i do not have a type all of the time, but all of the people i have been attracted to and had a crush on were the wild, fun, and cute guys in my class. they also tend to be very kind and understanding as well. i am a sucker for people who smile often.

they would have to be accepting of all of my flaws and love me regardless, just like the way i would do the same for them if i love them as well. i am also extremely touch deprived haha, so i would honestly be over the moon if they don't mind hugs and physical affection.

𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙣

only after i have a stable income and have things sorted out, because i don't want to struggle raising them because of financial and mental issues. no kid deserves parents that can't take care of them ig.

𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙜𝙤𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙣 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙖𝙬

the law from where i come from are terrible and something pretty bad has happened, but i'd rather that's kept in private haha. i swear i didn't commit any crimes lmao police are just incredible blind and unfair there.

𝙗𝙖𝙩𝙝 𝙤𝙧 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙧

shower. i am way too impatient for baths. also, i feel weird sitting in a tub filled water while naked lmfao it's so weird for me.

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙤𝙧 𝙨𝙤𝙘𝙠𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜

grey.

𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙩𝙮𝙥𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙢𝙪𝙨𝙞𝙘

k-r&b, indie, pop-rock hybrid ig, lo-fi.

𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙤𝙬𝙨 𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝

only one below my head.

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙞𝙣

it varies. i sleep like a rock even though i can’t sleep for long, so i wake up in the exact position i initially fall asleep in. either on my back or my right side, since my left side isn’t too good lmao.

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙤𝙣❜𝙩 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪❜𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙥𝙞𝙣���

buzzing mosquitos and damp, hot air (which is very rare, so i guess we are okay). i also hate being cold, so i sleep with two blankets even during summer haha. my limbs are ice-cold all the time smh

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠𝙛𝙖𝙨𝙩

oats mixed with chocolate chunks.

𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙧𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙮

i never went to a club or took lessons, but we had a backyard where my dad allowed me to shoot at stuff with a bow and the few arrows he made. i was pretty good at aiming, but my eyesight has deteriorated, so i left it at that lmao

𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙛𝙧𝙪𝙞𝙩

watermelons and mangoes... also rambutan and mangis, but we don’t have them in germany ;-; i missed them.

𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙨𝙬𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙

fuck. and i am sorry to say that i use it here quite a lot.

𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙨

tons.

𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙡𝙞𝙖𝙧

some have called me a psychopath before, but they just don’t understand that i was raised by very strict parents and learned how to lie lmao. i am pretty ashamed to say yes.

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩❜𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙩𝙮𝙥𝙚

i have tested twice. once when i was fourteen, which showed that i was an infj-t, but then i took it again last year and it showed that i was an infp-t. i heard that 16Personalities was trash, though, so take it with a grain of salt.

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩❜𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙩𝙮𝙥𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡

my best friend. she is a wild character, ngl, but she and i communicate extremely well. she is outgoing, courageous, hilarious, and has no qualms with being the odd one. she isn’t overly obnoxious, but she has a nice kind of self-confidence going on.

𝙞𝙣𝙣𝙞𝙚 𝙤𝙧 𝙤𝙪𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙚

i love yang jeongIN. definitely an innie, because i don’t even remember what the front of my house looks like haha. i don’t go out unless someone literally grabs my arms and physically drags me out and i am not even joking with this one. 

𝙡𝙚𝙛𝙩 𝙤𝙧 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙙

i was originally right-handed, but then i got paranoid of breaking my right arm and having to study with my left arm all of a sudden and get bad grades, so i learned how to do stuff and write with my left hand as a kid.

𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙤𝙙

don’t have one. call me when we’re talking about dessert.

𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚𝙞𝙜𝙣 𝙛𝙤𝙤𝙙

don’t have one.

𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙣 𝙤𝙧 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙮

my entire aesthetic is chaotic academia irl, so you tell me.

𝙢𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙥𝙝𝙧𝙖𝙨𝙚

oml, how tf, bahaha, bestie, no because-, hehe, lmao, i’m sobbing, i guess, toodles, etc etc.

𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙞𝙩 𝙩��𝙠𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙤 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙮

i can techincally be ready in five, but procrastination is the sole thing i excel at, so yeah, definitely half an hour.

𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙠 𝙩𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛

cnversations happen in my head, my the office-esque reactions happen out loud. i talk a lot and imitate phrases i hear from someone to myself and reenact scenes from my daydreams bahaha

𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛

i don’t shut up. someone save the people that live with me.

𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧

definitely not the most technically sound vocalist, but i can hold a tune or two. i was a soloist in my choir for a few years and was the vocalist for a band, but we disbanded smh i am still very sad about that :/ i loved them so much.

𝙗𝙞𝙜𝙜𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙚𝙖𝙧

seeing my loved ones die before me.

𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖 𝙜𝙤𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙥

i don’t feel comfortable talking bad about people :/ just ignore and move on.

𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙧 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙞𝙧

i have hair that reaches my knees, but dear god do i want to chop it all off in one motion and get a yeeun-style bob cut.

𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙨𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙡 𝙨𝙪𝙗𝙟𝙚𝙘𝙩

sports and art. to hell with everything else. i’m not bad at them at all, but oh gosh i want to burn them all.

𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙩 𝙤𝙧 𝙚𝙭𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙩

... idk. i hate speaking to strangers and feel so awkward during one on one conversations with friends. i don’t go out a lot and social events tire me out, but i also crave noise happening around me. so,,, ambivert? i do tend to be the life of the party often during the few times i go out, but then i just lug myself back home and crash for the week lmao

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙣𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙤𝙪𝙨

anything related to school. i have regular panic attacks /gen. also, i have thalassaphobia and megalophobia, so things larger than life and the vast, empty ocean terrifies me and movies like that just make me nauseous. 

𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡 𝙘𝙧𝙪𝙨𝙝

my first real crush this one guy in my band. he was the other vocalist and was so pretty and fun. he always used to tease me smh. at least, that was something. but then we had to disband last year, because the older guys were moving away to study and us high schoolers were also moving to different cities ;-;

𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙛𝙖𝙨𝙩 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙧𝙪𝙣

i was in my middle school track team and used to compete a lot since i was pretty agile, but then i started to hate running, stopped, and now i am just a little above average bahaha.

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙤𝙧 𝙞𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙝𝙖𝙞𝙧

black. i want to dye it with cotton candy colored highlights, tho!

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙧𝙮

unnecessary comments, rude and obnoxious, self-entitled kids and people in general, people who tell you how to do your own job, hate comments, the basic dni criterias as well 

𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙣𝙖𝙢𝙚

kind of?

𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙖 𝙗𝙤𝙮 𝙤𝙧 𝙖 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡 𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙙

i would want a girl.

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙜𝙩𝙝𝙨

i have cold hands if you want to cool down. i can adapt to any kind of environment instantly, since i have moved twelve different times to fifferent schools and countries. bless my parents. i have gained the ability to conquer shifts in social environments at the cost of my mental health :’) i also consider myself to be nice and can get things down quickly, so i am a fast learner.

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙬𝙚𝙖𝙠𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙨

kanemoto yoshinori, yoshi, eye smiles, and brownies. i am also very impatient, a perfectionist, a procrastinator, and have absolutely zero self-control over aggression against my own body. i have trouble reacting to other people's emotional outbursts, be it crying or anger and don't know what to do and how to comfort them. i also have trouble opening up and am never authentic around people, so i don't have... friends, if that makes sense? i don't feel comfortable being myself and feel like i have to be the person that they want me to be? idek.

i get bored extremely easily and nothing interests me that much ig

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩❜𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙤𝙧 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙗𝙚𝙙𝙨𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙

blue.

𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙤𝙧 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙢

white and hints of blue.

[strayneoculturekids]

Regrets - I.N x Reader

Summary: It’s so easy to snap at people you love when nothing else in your life is going well, isn’t it? It really didn’t help that Jeongin was still so young; he hadn’t exactly gotten a full grasp on how to control all of his emotions

friends to lovers AU, childhood friends AU, Idol AU

Genre: angst, fluff

Warnings: arguments and stuff

Requested by anon (I hope this is ok~! Sorry it took so long,,,)

“I’ve been thinking really hard about something lately,” Jeongin said, turning to face you

“Hm?” You asked, meeting his eyes

“I...want to become a singer” his voice seemed shaky but determination was evident in his expression

You smiled at him, turning your full body to face your best friend and grabbing both his hands.

“I’m happy for you Innie, I support you all the way, okay?” You squeezed his hands in yours slightly

He nodded, returning your warm smile with his adorable one, eyes creasing from happiness. He knew it would be tough, trying to become an idol on top of balancing school work and still having a social life with you; like, really tough, but it gave him so much comfort to know you supported him. The look in your eyes told him that you really would be right by his side the entire time.

Jeongin and you had known each other since diapers, your parents being friends and all. For as long as either of you could remember, you two were inseparable, always supporting each other and being there for each other. So when Jeongin said he wanted to become an idol, of course, you stuck by him, supported him and encouraged him all the way to his trainee days and far past then.

He had never acted out or gotten mad at you, just like you to him. He’d always been the one to tell you to stay calm when you got frustrated or mad at someone else. There were times when he couldn’t handle everything he was going through, so he just...cried, always going to you for comfort. Which is why, when he did yell at you for the first time ever, you were surprised to say the very least. Shocked. You had never thought before that you could be afraid of your best friend with his adorable personality, but you’d soon find out just how wrong you were and just how scary Jeongin could be.

Months had gone by and I.N had become a JYP trainee, a company part of the big three, just like you knew he had the talent for. You helped him struggle through late nights, keep on track with school work, made sure he ate properly, you really just kept him sane.

You were sitting on your couch, staring off into the distance, dissociating. Eventually, you were knocked back to reality when you heard a knock at the door. Your parents had gone out for the night and you must admit, maybe you were a little bit scared that behind the door was a murderer. You hear a little “Y/N” from the outside. Immediately you relaxed when you recognized the voice, Jeongin. 

You opened the door to reveal your best friend, the biggest, most precious smile you’d ever seen planted on his face.

“I found out the members I’m debuting with!!” He said happily

Your eyes widened and soon enough, your smile mirrored his. You instantly engulfed him in a large hug, him immediately reacting and hugging you back. you two stayed like that a while, just squeezing each other, smiles never fading.

“I’m so, so proud of you” you whispered into his ear before retreating from the hug and dragging him inside

“Thank you so much for supporting me...” he said, gaze locked to the ground in a bashful manner

“Of course, what are friends for?”

“Yeah...friends...” Jeongin cringed when he heard that word, aware by now of his so obvious feelings towards you “Anyways, can you help me finish this homework?”

A few weeks passed by and Jeongin and his group members were set to be on a survival show; since JYP didn’t pick the members himself, he wanted to see their talents.

You watched every episode, getting to know the members and Jeongin’s new friends who you still had yet to meet in person. The show was up to episode four when I.N had his first breakdown. A bit before episode five was supposed to be released, he showed up at your doorstep, eyes red and puffy, cheeks stained with tears.

“...Minho got eliminated...” he said slowly, smiling bitterly as more tears streamed down his already soaked face

You covered your mouth with your hands, immediately pulling Jeongin inside, closing the door as you enveloped him in a tight hug. He froze up for a bit before beginning to cry in your shoulder. Jeongin dropped onto his knees which became too weak to support him. You followed, keeping him in your arms, rubbing his back, letting him sob his heart out.

A few more episodes passed and the fact that Minho had been eliminated had just begun to wash over. Then Felix got eliminated in episode 8. Jeongin didn’t show up before the episode was released, nor did he show up after the episode was released. You tried not to think of it, telling yourself he was probably just spending more time with his members, but deep down, you knew how much it worried you.

[You]: Innie? Are you ok? Is your group ok?

You sent him a simple text, just staring at the screen blankly for a couple of minutes, desperately hoping he’d answer. You saw the speech bubble pop up, indicating he was typing. Immediately, you perked up, staring expectantly at the screen. The speech bubble stayed there for what must’ve been five minutes, then disappeared. You waited another few minutes, despite knowing how much of a waste of time this could end up being, you were desperately hoping to get a text from him. It never came.

Monday came and Jeongin didn’t show up to school. You went through the entire day without seeing your best friend, and he wasn’t answering his texts. After what felt like years, the school day finally ended and you immediately called him the second you were dismissed.

“Hello?” a slightly unfamiliar voice called

“...Chan?” You asked, slightly recognizing the voice from the survival show

“You know me?”

“No...I know Jeongin. I just want to know how he’s doing after Felix got eliminated- how all of you are doing...but he’s not answering my texts.”

There was a long pause and you could hear movement on the other end of the phone before you heard the name “Jeongin” being softly called.

“...Hello?” he said

Relief flooded through your entire body when you heard the familiar voice of your best friend.

“Jeongin! Are you okay...?” you asked, softening your voice, trying to calm yourself from your initial excitement from hearing him for the first time in what seemed like forever

“Leave me alone,” he said simply, hanging up right after

You blinked, slowly dropping the phone from your ear. You purse your lips before continuing to walk, clenching your fist. You were hurt by the words, especially since it was so sudden, but right now, your best friends mental health came first and it didn’t seem particularly healthy right now.

You got home, greeting your parents, trying to hide your shaky voice as you went up to your room, immediately calling Jeongin once you made it there.

“Y/N...I’m sorry but...Jeongin is being stubborn right now...I don’t think he’ll talk to you but...from what I’ve heard about you from I.N before all of...this happened, I think he needs to talk to you” Chan’s voice rang through

“but-”

“Can you come to the dorms?”

“Yeah...I will,” you said, nodding

You immediately got off the phone, quickly throwing on the first thing you saw in your closet and walking out the door, telling your parents you were going to visit I.N- which was technically true.

Luckily, you’d gotten your license recently and your dad didn’t mind you taking out his car as long as you weren’t reckless. A couple minutes later and you were outside the dorm of I.N and his group mates. Slowly, you raised your hand, heart drumming in your chest. Taking a deep breath, preparing yourself to face I.N, you knocked. The door swung open, revealing a face you recognized to be Woojin.

“Are you Y/N?” he asked

“That’s me” you managed a weak smile

Immediately, he let you inside. Greetings and fangirling over meeting these incredible idols could wait till later, right now, what mattered most is making sure that everyone in the group was doing okay. It was a bit mean of you, but you cared most about I.N’s mental state right now; he is the youngest and can you really blame yourself? He’s been your best friend for who knows how long. Of course, you prioritize him.

Looking around the dorm, the atmosphere was incredibly dreary. You saw each member, Felix and Minho excluded, they all greeted you nicely, already having been told about you, but you could tell that deep down they felt like absolute shit. It was easy to see they all blamed themselves for what happened to Minho and Felix.

“Jeongin’s in that room. He’s a bit fragile right now though,” Woojin half-heartedly smiled “please, if he says anything that hurts you, know he doesn’t mean it,”

You thanked Woojin before carefully opening the door, seeing your best friends back curled up into a ball on the bed you assumed to be his, his unmoving body turned to the wall.

“Innie?” You said softly

His ears perked when he heard your voice, expecting it to be one of his members. He was surprised at first but it soon turned into anger.

“Didn’t I tell you to leave me alone?” he spat, not even making it sound like a question; more of a demand

You flinched slightly as if his words were an actual physical attack. Taking another deep breath in, you walked up to him, sitting on his bed and putting your hand on his shoulder, which he was quick to swipe off. He turned around and got off the bed, his eyes were bloodshot and his eyebrows were furrowed with what looked to be anger. He didn’t even have to say anything, his expression alone was enough to shoot fear through your body.

“Jeongin...talk to me...I’m here...like I always have been...”

“JUST LEAVE ME ALONE” he yelled

You flinched again, eyes widening at his sudden outburst. He had always been taller than you but at this moment, he just seemed to tower over you. You had noticed things you never would’ve thought to even look at before. The way his fists and jaw clenched so hard, the way his eyes squinted, the way it seemed like he could crush you with ease. It was, to say the least, terrifying.

“I-”

“Can’t you see that I don’t want to talk with you?! I just want you to leave me alone! I don’t need your comfort- I don’t need your pity- I don’t need you!”

You gulped, your eyes began to well up with tears and Jeongin didn’t show the slightest bit of remorse. A few seconds of Jeongin’s heavy breathing and the door swung open, revealing Jisung, it was easy to tell he was mad.

“Jeongin!” He shouted, looking at the youngest

“What?” He asked curtly, glaring at Jisung

Jisung pursed his lips, trying to stay calm. Before anything else, he went up to you, sympathy evident in his eyes while his back was turned from his group member.

“I’m so sorry about this Y/N. I’ll take care of this. I think it’s best if you leave...or at least just go outside of the room for a bit, the rest of the members will take care of you” He said softly, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder, disregarding I.N’s presence

“I- I think I’ll just leave...” You said, trying not to let the tears in your eyes spill down

Jisung nodded in understanding, taking his hand off your shoulder and letting you leave before closing the door. The rest of the group already had their heads turned in your direction. Woojin and Chan looked the maddest, similar expressions to Jisung’s. Seungmin, Hyunjin, and Changbin looked mostly sorry. Despite their different emotions, their first reactions were to come up and comfort you. They were I.N’s friends, yes, but you would have to be blind and deaf to not be able to see who that he was at fault here.

You thanked them but said you just wanted to go home. You winced when you heard shouting begin from inside the room. The members immediately nodded and got you away from the door. Not wanting to overwhelm you, they just let Seungmin see you out.

“Hey. I know what Jeongin said was horrible. He can be scary. I think...it’s selfish of all of our members but...on behalf of them and me- and Jeongin...I want to ask you to give him another chance once he’s cooled down. Friendships always have their bumps and bruises” He said hopefully

“I-...I can’t think properly right now...I’m sorry Seungmin. Thank you for seeing me out”

Seungmin nodded understandingly before letting you leave.

About a week passed and Jeongin had started coming back to school, yet he still did everything in his power to avoid you. To be completely fair...you didn’t exactly put in the effort to talk with him either. What he said seriously did some damage and right now you just wanted a bit of a break. Every time you met eyes with him and saw his droopy expression though, you just wanted to run up to him and hug him as tight as possible.

Another school day of Jeongin avoiding you was over and you got a call from an unknown number.

“Hello?” You asked, answering it

“Y/N? This is Hyunjin, I got your phone from Jeongin’s phone. I just want to know...has he talked to you yet?”

“...no”

You heard Hyunjin say something to a few others on the other side of the line followed by collective groans and annoyed or angry yells. Your guess was that it was the rest of the group.

“do you want him to talk to you?” a nasally voice you recognized to be Changbin’s called

“I...it would be nice if he did” You admitted

“Can you come over to our dorm in say, two hours?” Hyunjin spoke again

“yeah, I will. Thank you...so, so much”

“It’s the least we can do. There’s one more thing I want to tell you,” Hyunjin paused before continuing “Jeongin has feelings for you”

You paused, almost dropping the phone, cheeks beginning to change to the slightest shade of red.

“He always goes on and on about you” Hyunjin continued “It’s obvious to all of us and I thought you should know before you talked to him this afternoon”

“...Thank you,” you smiled

“It’s alright, see you in a couple hours” A small smile being evident in his voice

About an hour and a half passed and you had showered and changed, too distracted to begin your homework. Deciding it was about time to begin heading to the dorm, you walked out, saying a quick goodbye to your parents

A couple minutes and you were there. It almost seemed like a repeat of the last time you were here. With your hands slightly shaky, you took in a deep breath and knocked. Woojin answered. Yep, definitely seemed like a repeat.

“Y/N, you’re here,” he said, already ushering you inside

You and the members have literally only met once before but it felt like coming to visit an old group of friends.

“Jeongin’s studying in his room” Woojin pointed to a room with a slightly open door

“Hey, don’t be afraid to give us a shout if he’s scaring you, yeah?” Chan said before you went in

You nodded and quietly thanked him before going into the room

The very first thing your eyes were drawn to was I.N’s back. His headphone were in and he was sitting cross-legged on his chair, laptop open and books sprawled across the desk. Slowly, you walked up behind him, lightly tapping him on the shoulder. He automatically took out one of his ear-buds before turning to face you, eyes widening when he saw it was actually you.

“Y/N- I-”

Before he could finish, you wrapped your arms around him, feeling him stiffen up in the hug. You stayed like that a few seconds before you felt his arms wrap around you in return. Just as you were about to let go, I.N began to cry into your shoulder, squeezing you tighter.

“I’m- I’m so, so sorry.” His breath began hitching and he couldn’t hold back any more of his tears “I just- I hope-...I hope you can forgive me...please...I’m sorry”

“Innie...” You started running your hands through his hair, using your other one to rub his back sotthingly “It’s ok...I forgive you”

“I...I love you” He pulled away slightly, looking you in the eyes, trying not the let his shyness show through “I love you as more than a friend”

You smiled softly “I love you too”

Jeongin suddenly got the biggest smile ever, finally showing it after what felt like years. it made you heart skip a beat- seeing the I.N you knew before the fight once again.

BONUS

You watched as Stray Kids performed on stage, screaming your lungs and heart out- watching all nine of the members happily dance, sing and rap. Your eyes kept being drawn to I.N. Nothing could ever make you prouder than seeing your best friend- and now boyfriend perform with all of his members like this.

You two met eyes and somehow, his smile grew even wider.

[cuddlepilefics]

New Year’s party

Fandom: Stray Kids

Sickie: Jeongin

Caregiver: Chan

 Noone’s POV.:

Chan had been invited to a New Year’s party and he could bring one other person. The leader decided he’d like to take Jeongin with him, if the younger agreed to come. He had been crushing on the younger for a while now and maybe the two of them going to a party could be like a date, without him having to ask the younger out. The maknae was more than happy to tag along. He himself felt close to his hyung from the moment they first met and even though he couldn’t name his feelings, he was extremely fond of occasions he’d spend with Chan without the rest of their group around. As the evening of the 31th approached, Jeongin grew more and more antsy. They had decided not to tell their members where they were going, so the youngest couldn’t ask any of his hyungs for advice on how to dress. His stomach was churning anxiously as he dug through his closet. Lucky for him, Chan had told his fellow Aussie about his plan and the fact that he may or may not turn this into a date depending on how the night would progress. When the leader was certain Felix wouldn’t squeal as soon as he left the room, he let the younger go and Felix decided he’d go to Jeongin to hear his side of the story and to check on the maknae’s feelings for their leader. The Aussie walked in on a distressed Jeongin pacing the room and pulling his hair.

It took the older a few minutes to talk the other down. They sat on Jeongin’s bed and the maknae confided in Felix that he wanted to look good for Chan but he didn’t find any clothes he was satisfied with. “Innie, do you perhaps have a crush on Channie-hyung?”, the older chuckled, causing the maknae to freeze in his spot. “I – I don’t know? I never really – I don’t think I ever thought about it this way?”, Jeongin stammered uncertain, furrowing his brows, “Now that you say it, he always makes my tummy feel funny. Lix, is that a crush?” Felix cracked up at the other’s confusion. “Yes Innie. I’m pretty sure what you’re experiencing right now is a crush. Come on, I’ll help you pick out some clothes”, the Aussie giggled, pulling his dongsaeng up from the bed. Being pulled to his feet that quick made the maknae’s head spin and he hugged his friend tightly to not fall over till the black spots disappeared. Felix started laughing again, wriggling his way out of Jeongin’s grip: “Innie, I love you to but we need to get you ready.” The older quickly put together an outfit for the maknae and styled his hair. “Wait, let me put some foundation on you. When did you get so pale? You really need to go out more, see the sun and stuff”, Felix stopped the other who was already getting up to leave. Felix quickly applied some makeup to the youngest’s face, chuckling at how the excitement heated the other’s skin up.

Soon Jeongin was good to go and after giving Felix a quick hug, thanking him for his help, he dashed out to meet Chan at the front door. Felix waved them goodbye, thinking ‘I ship it’ before the door closed and the pair was gone. The thing was, despite Felix trying to diffuse his nervousness, the maknae’s stomach was still in knots. They could already hear the music blasting from the street and he stuck close to Chan when they entered the crowded house. The air smelled of sweat and alcohol and Jeongin couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable there. However, there was no getting out of this now, so he just became Chan’s shadow, not leaving the older’s side for even a second.

 Chan’s POV.:

This night was absolutely not going the way I had imagined it to go and that was not a good thing. Jeongin had gotten shy the second we stepped into the house. He didn’t seem to enjoy himself at all but I was going to change that. I led my dongsaeng to a sitting area where a handful of my friends were gathered doing karaoke. Sitting down in the only unoccupied spot, I pulled the maknae onto my lap. My friend who had invited us greeted me and handed us drinks. Innie looked at me slightly panicked as he wasn’t of legal drinking age, so when I had finished half of my drink, I quickly exchanged our cups. He giggled into my shoulder when he realized what I was doing, going back and forth between both of our drinks. It was adorable but I’d have to take it slower from now on, if I didn’t want to be wasted before midnight. There’d be a huge firework which we didn’t want to miss, so I should still have my senses together by that time. As the hours passed, I frequently tried to convince Jeongin to do karaoke since I knew how angelic his voice was, but he always refused. He barely talked to anyone, not even me really and he didn’t participate in any of the party-games. I couldn’t help getting upset. I just wanted to have some fun with my crush and maybe even get a bit closer but he wasn’t having it at all, so as the time ticked by my mood sank lower and lower.

 Jeongin’s POV.:

Everything was too loud. It was unbearably hot between all those people but I clung to Chan’s chest while sitting on his lap, despite him being warm and sweaty like everyone else because he was my anchor in the chaos going on around me. It was quite overwhelming and to make matters worse, I had figured after a while that my stomachache wasn’t caused by nerves. I felt safe in Chan’s arms, especially since I saw him cover for me when I wasn’t drinking but couldn’t turn down the drink either, but despite feeling safe with him, my stomach still hurt. The stale air not helping at all, rather making me nauseous. I really wanted to be anywhere but here but I had promised Chan to spend the evening with him and to watch the firework together, I couldn’t disappoint him. Plus, I didn’t want to bring his mood down by whining about not feeling good or by making him leave early. Resting my head against my hyung’s shoulder, I swallowed a few times to keep my stomach in its place. “Come on Innie, you have such an amazing voice, you’ll sing everyone into the ground. Just one round”, Chan tried to persuade me but I shook my head. He tried to get me to participate in multiple of the activities they had prepared like karaoke, just dance and truth and dare and hadn’t I felt so shitty I would have loved to join but right now my sole focus was on keeping my stomach contents inside my body. “Why not? There’s nothing you want to do. You’re no fun”, he whined and I could hear that he was seriously pissed. “I need the bathroom”, I stammered, looking at my hyung expectantly. “Up the stairs, first door on the right”, he sighed, reaching for his drink the second I was out of his lap.

I choked out a quick “Thanks”, unsure whether he had heard it or not and stumbled in the direction he had given me. I couldn’t breathe, the walls were closing in on me, my stomach churned. Fighting my way up the stairs, I dizzily tripped over my own feet, tears streaming down my face. My stomach hurt, but my heart hurt more. Channie-hyung was mad at me. I had ruined his fun after he had decided to take me out of all people, I had to ruin his night-out. Pushing into the bathroom, I was met with a couple making out in the cramped space. At first, they didn’t notice me over their moaning but then they tried to kick me out. However, they quickly fled, cringing in disgust when I threw myself at the toilet retching hard.

 Noone’s POV.:

Almost thirty minutes had passed and Jeongin hadn’t actually thrown up yet. Instead, he lay curled up on the bathroom floor, seemingly knocked out while wishing for the nausea to fade. At one point, someone had walked in on him but had quickly closed the door again, leaving the boy to his own devices. In the meantime, Chan’s friend plopped onto the sofa next to Chan laughing. “Your boyfriend really is a lightweight, isn’t he”, he chuckled, patting Chan’s shoulder. “What do you mean”, Chan frowned, realizing he hadn’t seen Jeongin in quite a while now. “He’s knocked out in the upstairs bathroom”, that’s all Chan needed to sober up. He knew the younger didn’t drink at all. His friend was cut off by Chan jumping up from the couch sprinting up the stairs and almost tripping himself, with his balance not being in peak condition after the amount of drinks he had. Bracing one arm against the doorframe, he pushed into the bathroom finding the tight bundle that was his dongsaeng. On the first glance he did seem knocked out like his friend had told him but looking closer, Chan could see the goosebumps on his skin and the little shivers that shook the younger’s frame despite the rather warm temperature in the building.

The older slid down with his back against the wall and pulled Jeongin into his arms, earning a whimper. “Hey, Innie, what’s going on?”, he whispered, brushing the maknae’s hair out of his face to get a better look. Instead of answering, the younger pushed Chan away, startling the older, as he launched at the toilet again. Being moved from his curled-up position had sent his stomach over the edge and he gagged up a thin stream of his barely digested dinner. His hyung quickly got over his initial shock and rubbed soothing circles onto his back. Soon the tears were streaming down his face again, when Jeongin choked up another wave. He was sobbing at this point, choking on air and coughing up more stomach contents. Chan was stunned by how much the younger was throwing up, he hadn’t even eaten that much earlier. Jeongin’s head spun and he rested it on the toilet seat, completely spent from the ordeal. He was still crying but much quieter now, there was just no strength left in him. Frowning, the older moved him from where he was laying to rest against his chest instead. The maknae kept crying into Chan’s shirt, while the leader held him, trying to comprehend the situation. “I-I’m so-orry”, the younger sobbed, “I-I’m no f-fun.”

Just like that Chan’s heart broke, remembering what he had told his dongsaeng earlier. Gently he lifted the younger’s head up a bit, feeling the dry heat on the maknae’s forehead and running his thumb underneath the puffy eyes looking up at him broken, as he brushed away the tears. “Shh, you weren’t feeling well all evening, huh?”, Chan cooed as he continued to stroke the other’s cheek. Jeongin shook his head, there was no point in denying it now anyways. “Baby, why didn’t you just tell me?” – “I-I wanted you to have fun, h-hyung”, he sniffed, not noticing the petname that slipped from the older’s lips, “I was so h-happy that you asked me. I d-didn’t want to make you mad at me.” The leader was now close to tears as well, how could he have been so oblivious? “It’s ok, I’m not mad. You know, I wanted you to have fun too. That’s why I got upset when you weren’t having any. If you had told me you weren’t feeling alright, we could have just stayed home. I wouldn’t have minded”, Chan explained, carding his finger’s through the younger’s sweaty hair. “I didn’t want to stay home. I really like you”, Jeongin admitted, playing with his sleeve, “so I was excited to have you for myself, away from the group.” – “I really like you too, that’s why asked you to come with me and no one else”, the leader confessed, heart swelling at the thought of his baby liking him back. “Let’s go home, yeah?” – “But the party? The firework?”, the maknae frowned. “I’d much rather cuddle you all better than party and we can watch the firework from our window, ok?”, the older promised, helping Jeongin stand.

With a protective arm around his dongsaeng’s shoulders, Chan said goodbye to his friends, explaining the situation. The two walked the few blocks home since Chan was to drunk to drive and it wasn’t that far anyways. Jeongin only got sick onto the pavement twice but given how many people were drinking in the streets, he didn’t stick out. Returning to the dorm, they got many confused and curious looks for being home a few hours earlier than expected. “Innie’s sick”, Chan explained, reminding Felix of the maknae’s pale complexion earlier, walking the younger to his room. He removed their makeup and helped the younger into some more comfortable clothes before getting changed himself. He quickly made a cup of peppermint tea and also collected a bottle of water and a bucket, taking the items back to his room. His bed was bigger than Jeongin’s so he wanted the younger to stay with him. When he set everything up, the maknae was already asleep, not even stirring as the leader rummaged around the room. Chan lay down beside the maknae, petting his hair and admiring his face till there were only ten minutes left till midnight. He really didn’t want to disrupt the other’s much needed slumber but he knew how mad Jeongin would be if he missed out on the firework. Gently he hummed the maknae’s name, stroking his arm firmly, as he took his time waking the younger. After about two minutes, Chan had pulled the curtains aside, clearing their few, and sat on the edge of the bed with Jeongin in his lap. The maknae was sipping on the tea, which was only slightly warm by this time, letting it sooth his sour tummy as he leaned into his hyung. As promised they watched the firework together, wishing each other a happy new year before settling back in bed together. The younger was almost drifting off when Chan spoke up: “You know Innie, there’s one thing I don’t want to be in the new year anymore. That is single. Will you Yang Jeongin be my boyfriend?” Jeongin was wide awake again, hugging his hyung tightly. “I will hyung, yes I will”, he squealed happily. The leader placed a soft kiss onto his boyfriend’s forehead, who could feel the older smile into the kiss, before wrapping the blanket tighter around them, telling the younger to sleep his bug off so they could kiss properly.