#you see way back then all my rps with my siblings were about coping with my father

[finely-tuned-line]

RP:

PRIVATE TRANSMISSION

FTL: Echoes of a Paradox. I believe that we need to talk.

EP: Oh so you finally decided to stop being a coward, huh? Alright, what d'you have to say to me?

FTL: ...I do not actually know. I am aware that I owe you an apology, just as I am aware that I do wish to present that apology to you. The sole issue is that I am unaware of what I feel the need to apologise for for, as well as what the apology you want from me is, though they are the same thing.

EP: Of course. I'm really not surprised, I expected this.

EP: You're so... Unaware.

EP: You don't care, you avert your eyes from everything around you - not for the sake of guilt, shame, or wish to not see, but for a lack of care. Your ignorance is not wilful but is simply apathy.

EP: As much as I envy you for that apathy, I pity you as well. You're stuck denying yourself the fact that you even have emotions, as you relish in the ability to ignore it all. But I'm stuck too, aren't I? Stuck with endless rage and anger, at our creators, at you, at myself. At least I know how to cope with it, release it, instead of bottling it all up. At least I allow myself to feel the anger properly, at least I don't turn a blind eye to the wrong of both the world and myself.

EP: That's the difference, isn't it? You don't care, and I care too much.

EP: You piss me off, Finely-Tuned Line. You don't even know how much harm you've done. How much you've hurt me, Songs of the Negative Sunlight, even Doubt's Dichotomy.

EP: You just stay cooped up in your single-minded focus on your purpose, justifying the existence you know is pointless, all the while denying that what you pursue is little more than the fact that your purpose is something you enjoy. And even when you do acknowledge it, it's always backed up by your saying that you're 'allowed' to enjoy your experiments simply because it's what you were made for.

EP: I know you. You're so... It's so easy to pick you apart.

EP: But even as you piss me off, I pity you.

EP: You're so desperate. Striving for shadows of perfection cast upon you by our dead creators. Or, as Songs of the Negative Sunlight would humourlessly compare, like the light of the long-departed stars.

EP: I hate you. I hate you so much. You're the reason why our sibling is dead, you're the reason why Doubt's Dichotomy barely even talks to me at this point. You're the reason it took me so long to be as okay as I am now. And you don't even know what you did wrong.

EP: I'll tell you what you did wrong, I'll tell you what you need to apologise for.

EP: But it all comes down to your pitiful reach for your purpose.

EP: Your sheer conviction when it comes to that is the root of it all.

EP: Cycle by cycle, thoughtless mentions of your pitiful beliefs in the shadows of perfection.

EP: Cycle by cycle, offhanded mentions of your deplorable beliefs that you're nothing without your purpose.

EP: Cycle by cycle, careless mentions of your dismal beliefs that you're nothing but a machine.

EP: Do you not realise that those very mentions cast a shadow of their own? A perceived projection of those beliefs onto others, onto us?

EP: If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have found such despair in my lack of a secondary purpose, I wouldn't have thrown all my energy into the Great Problem like I did, I wouldn't have felt so inferiour due to my absence of care about it.

EP: If it weren't for you, Doubt's Dichotomy wouldn't have drifted apart from us out of sols own will, she wouldn't have defined herself the way she did, it wouldn't have to justify its love for what it does while hiding all the same.

EP: If it weren't for you, Songs of the Negative Sunlight wouldn't have chained ximself to xir purpose even as xi found no joy in it, xi wouldn't have made such rash decisions, xi wouldn't- ...If it weren't for you, xi wouldn't be dead.

EP: And even after all this, I do pity you. Stuck in your way of thinking, unable to break out of it and strive to be better. I pity you for your inability to see beyond what the Ancients defined you as. I pity you so, so much, even within my anger.

EP: I will recognise the fact that you've gotten better. I do pick up on your transmissions from time to time - those offhanded mentions are gone in all but what I can only describe as self-loathing.

EP: Within all the sheer pity and anger that I have for you, I care about you. You're my older brother. I worry about you.

EP: But this remains as your last chance. No matter how much I care about you, I have self-preservation instincts, I am able to recognise when enough's enough.

EP: If you mess up again, I will be taking over as the Senior of the group, and cutting contact with you.

EP: I hope you figure yourself out and get some help.

EP: None of us are okay here in the end, but that's no justification.

EP: Love you.

FTL: I...

FTL: I'm sorry.

EP: I know.

EP: If you do decide to do better, I'm here for you. But only then.

FTL: ...Thank you. For everything.

[self-recovery-discovery]

Hi future me,

How are you? It's a quiet morning, I keep going back to stories unintentionally and get suprised when time passes. I keep forgetting to stay in a moment, to be aware. So I thought it would be good to take some time and write.

I don't think I ever mentioned it but I'm aroace. I think. It feels... Right.

Thought i don't like labels and pushing myself into a community this one doesn't feel so bad.

Let's talk about asexuality first. There's a lot to unpack.

So, I'm sure you remember thinking "hey I think I'm asexual" back in middle school. Taking time to figure it out and sharing it with online "friends". I just wanted to talk it over with someone, get an outside opinion, maybe some comfort.

I wasn't met with that, instead insults and malicious laughter filled my ears during the voice call. I didn't know at that time but it hurt me, to the point of questioning myself and my feelings. I think this event was the start of me holding my trauma as a weapon, never feeling vulnerable while talking about stuff that happened to me, wording everything in a way that would make the other person feel bad. I never used that tactic that much but it was there, just in case. (is that why I don't share anything with people? Does it still feel like a weapon?)

So, the conclusion I came to was met with huge disagreement. It made me feel like I had to be different, pushing myself into being more of what I wasn't.

When I entered high school I sported a "I must be pansexual" mindset.

It wasn't that hard, I never imagined doing the deed or even kissing with other people, it feeling wrong and just purely disrespectful to the other person. My hypersexualisation didn't help. Or the fact that I did feel sexual needs.

See, one third of toddlers use masturbation to self sooth, the touch feeling nice and nothing more. There's nothing sexual about it. It's like a new sensation that feels nice. Like a hug from their mom or someone stroking their hair. Nothing else. (Because I'm posting this on the internet, please note this: If you think it is something sexual please stop and go see a therapist. Those are children and they don't deserve to be treated like a toy for your fantasies. Get help.)

You're probably wondering why I'm mentioning this.

See, I was one of those toddlers, using the sensation to soothe the lack of attention, lack of understanding and affection from my parents and siblings. I was left alone most of the time, the rejection others gave me leaving me upset and sad. So the masturbation was left as a coping mechanism from my childhood and confused me even more about my sexuality. It was very confusing to figure out that bodily reaction. Especially with how I started searching, looking for information back in middle school about asexuality. It was very confusing and I didn't understand that it was "little to none or lack of sexual attraction". But there was a lot information about sex repulsed people that would never even discover their own bodies.

So the confusion from the label itself and the rejection made it pretty hard to think of myself as such.

So I pushed myself, other people's words making me put myself into situations I normally wouldn't put myself in. Several relationships online, because those wasn't physical and I had space where people couldn't touch me, and most of them were based on other people's needs. I didn't have to think, just manipulating my behavior to fit other people, to look normal. It was pretty easy, my mental state not letting me see or be in the moment. It felt like an RP, like the ones I wrote with kids online on Skype or games like feral heart or imvu. The reaction i would get was the one I thought I would get, like things following a script.

Mind you none of those relationships were official or anything. Just teenagers and grown men pushing their fantasies onto someone who wasn't there at all. It's kinda fucked up on its own and should get a post alone. There's a lot to unpack there.

After my last relationship, one that I met the person in real life, memories from middle school came back to me, making me think. The disassociation I've been in clearing and making me see things for the first time in ages. The meeting made me uncomfortable to the point of crying. Maybe my reaction to those people while texting should make it clear. I was always perplexed and thought of them as pathetic every time they fell for words i would write. I guess the dissasiocation made it difficult for me to even catch that.

It took me some time to come to terms with the fact that I was asexual again. Or at least on the spectrum, but I know that I've never felt sexual attraction to anyone. So really it's just that trauma of being rejected pushing me into denial again.

The aromantism is what's new. I never noticed it because I've been using books and stories as an escape since young, the romance genre one of my favorites. I was never too keen on reading about kisses though, hugs and cuddles being a favorite of mine. I realise now it's just the lack of affection I've got from parents while I was young that made me crave the touch, just the warmth of another person that would understand.

I figured recently that I am romance repulsed even, the thought of PDA, kisses and the like making me uncomfortable to the point of disgust.

Though looking at how romance centered our society is i didn't want to believe that I was aromantic. I thought i would never find company, never find a person I could hang out with and share my life with.

(I am very against living with another person though, I don't think I will be able to handle someone in my own space as weird as it can sound to other people. I had too many siblings to enjoy living with someone else I guess.)

Maybe what I'm searching for is a platonic relationship with another aroace, someone I could sit in silence and dance waltz for fun. And what I learned from our society was that without romance i would never have that person. But what made me realise how wrong that thought was, was seeing a married aroace person in Antony padila video.

That one segment made me calm, made me realise that I can just be with another person without any romance or hidden meanings.

I felt relieved.

I'm not alone in my feelings.

I'm not as confused anymore.

I'm pretty sure something will pop up about this again. Probably my internet experience when I was younger. Maybe the trauma i got from my parents. But it's okay. I can work through that, feel the hurt again and grow. Like a burnt forest finding life again.

Sincerely,

Isa

[priorireverte]

Congratulations Nik!

Your application for Amelia Bones has been accepted. I can’t wait to see what trouble and frustrations Amelia gets into, so stripped of power and authority. No passed handed out to former Department Heads, sorry Amelia!

Please look to the checklist for the next steps and reach out if you have any questions!

OUT OF CHARACTER

NAME & PRONOUNS: Nik, they/them

TIMEZONE: ACDT

ACTIVITY LEVEL: Relatively active. At least 3 to 4 times a week

ANYTHING ELSE: Cancer tw, hospice tw.

CHARACTER DETAILS

NAME: Amelia Susan Bones

BIRTHDATE: September 20th 1946

DEATHDATE: July 14 1996

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY: Cis woman. She/her and they/them pronouns. Bisexual with a heavy preference for women.

BLOOD STATUS: Half Blood

HOUSE ALUMNI: Hufflepuff

OCCUPATION: Former DMLE HEAD (until death)

FACECLAIM: Louise Lombard (i have my own gifs and icons and things of her so dont worry to much about resources :D )

CHARACTER BACKGROUND

POSTBELLUM

The knowledge she died and left her brother and niece alone in the world weighed heavy on her shoulders.  It’s something she  isn’t coping with well. The knowledge that her death was the final stand the Ministry had, that it was taken over by Voldemort because she couldn’t beat him, was a tough pill to swallow for her. She knew he had his faith around and in the shadows waiting, she could count the amount of people she completely trusted in the Ministry on one hand but she thought that there would have been more of a stand. The knowledge that her failure was the reason the people she served suffered another war  sits heavy on her shoulders.  If she could do it again she would be more prepared, have an escape plan rather than just hold her ground against him. She wouldn’t have the same faith that the Ministry would hold their own against him without her, she should have known better. The only thing sitting on her shoulders heavier than that is the knowledge that her niece had suffered, that she wasn’t there to stop that and holds herself completely responsible for it.

PERSONALITY

Tough, fair, kind, compassionate. This is how Amelia would describe herself if asked. She is far more gentle on the inside than most people who work around her would think. Stick her in a room with her niece for just a moment and you’ll see the stern blue eyes soften immediately.  Amelia is a skilled negotiator and investigator. She has a way with words and a great deal of understanding in how to use them. However, she isn’t very good at using them to describe how she feels. She is compassionate,and hardworking, she much prefers to listen to how others are feeling than share her own feelings. Everyone else comes first in her mind. Will always put the needs of others in front of her own.

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY

The oldest of the Bones three siblings Amelia always felt somewhat responsible for them. Constantly looking out for them and keeping their health and wellbeing in mind. Being an Aunt has always been considered her greatest achievement. Holding Edgar’s first child was a life changing experience and laying them to rest with their parents was life shattering.

Her brother and niece were all the family she had left and she cherished them. With the death of her sister in law, Susan’s mother, Amelia truly stepped up to the plate. She never tried or wanted to replace her mother but knew despite her brother’s best intentions, Susan needed someone else to be around. Amelia doesn’t have any children and has never seen the need to have any, when asked if she was planning on having any she’d simply smile and reply “I have Susan. I don’t need anymore children in my life”

HISTORY What was their life before the end of the war in ‘98 or before their death? What was important and formative for them?

     Born a few months after the end of world war two and the capture of Gellert Grindlewald meant Amelia grew up in both the bliss of peace and the pain of rebuilding. She’d listen to stories of war from the other children and overheard her mother and father discussing it sometimes. She remembered the celebrations from the 10th anniversary of war’s end and attended many memorials of those who had fallen, both muggle and magical alongside her family.

When war came to the Wixen World once more it was much less kind to the Bones. Her parents were cut down in their family home by Voldemort himself, her brother, his wife and his children slaughtered in their home. She constantly thought back to nights her father would tell her she’d never have to suffer at the hands of another war and swore she’d do whatever was necessary that the last living grandchild of his got to live that promise.

Amelia lived alone in a small home just outside of London. She’d brought it just after the first war as she climbed the ministry ranks. It made the commute to and from work much faster and proved a safe, new home with no memories attached to it.

Most of Amelia’s time was filled with work and family. She had the odd girlfriend here and there but no relationship ever lasted more than a year. She was far too dedicated to her job or her family.

Amelia’s job was incredibly important. She held the line against Fudges conspiracy theory lies. Called him out behind closed doors at every opportunity. Made her dislike and disapproval known. She was a Bones after it, it meant something in the Ministry. There were rumours that if Albus Dumbledore wasn’t going to take the position of Minister, she would. And she might have, had she lived long enough. She was preparing for it, to challenge him, and all other comers. After it was proven that Voldemort was well and truly alive and Cornelius Fudge had wasted precious time denying it out of fear , she had planned to oust him if he wouldn’t resign. Take a vote to the Wizenagemont, remove him due to his incompetence. She was killed the evening before her vote was due to hit the floor.

OOC EXPLORATION

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO?

The after hogwarts golden trio aspect drew me in first. Then when I read the plot more and more the idea of “returned” got me more and more interested. My favourite AU plots in group rps have always been the “What if a character who has died returned?? What happens to your character?” I adore exploring that whole new side of them.  It opens up things, plots, ideas, developments, that a traditional style of RP wouldn’t

EXTRA FOR NON-BIO CHARACTERS

CHARACTER CONTRIBUTION

How do you see this character adding to the community and the plot?

Bringing in Amelia is similar to bringing in Edgar. It brings a Bones from that era to the story and offers connections for Susan and characters in the Marauders Era. Bringing her would also add a character who is incredibly familiar with the structure of the Ministry and a depth of knowledge in her field.

PRESENT One paragraph about your character’s life right now and how they are handling the current events of the game.

“You died, Ma’am”

The words were on constant repeat in her mind. What did they mean she died? She was alive right now, she was breathing, her heart beating. She was here. Except she last remembered it being 1996. They tell her it’s 2002. She died six years ago. Her last memory was fighting Voldemort, a loud bang, stumbling to the floor and then she woke up in the Death Chamber. A room she had both the privilege and horror of recognising. It made sense in a way. The last thing she remembered was being in her home but awoke in the Ministry but it was so hard to understand. How? Why? Everyday was a repeat of the same questions in her mind. She does her best not to dwell on it, knowing that now isn’t the time nor place to do so. Getting herself grounded, back into the world that she had no idea she left. Returning to her family. That was her first goal. Working everything else out will come later.

[mannatea]

Hi. I used to follow your old blog on a different account. Hope you're doing well. Do you have any tips on thinking up stories that are *not* dark and depressing due to subject material? The last story I was working on I had to quit because the backstory I was developing for my passive male character was super depressing. At times I enjoyed researching it, though what won out was the thought I was wasting my time looking into angsty things for something I wasn't even planning to publish. Now I want to write something a little happier. But I have the most experience in writing angst and cringe comedy 😅 thanks for any help you can give. Stay safe out there!

By the way, good on you for dropping that manga you used to follow. I was happy most of the characters lived, but other than that, it felt "meh" to me (granted, I didn't read all the way from the beginning). The author was probably going for a "people will always be fighting each other" theme, but some of the imagery of what happened after a time skip could definitely be taken as pro-fascist. And I was disappointed the protagonist basically said he wanted to bring about destruction! I'm glad I didn't spend any money to read it.

Wow, hi! I’m doing all right, thanks for asking. I hope you’re doing all right, too. :)

As far as “that manga” goes, I’ve kept tabs on it. I’ve been on the fringes for the last two-ish years; I dedicated something like four real life years to that fandom and mostly had a good time while I was there (made some friends I hope to keep for life), so it was one of those situations where I just had to find out how it ended. I realized at some point that I was in a very negative space in the fandom, and felt it was better to publicly drop the series and the blog associated with all of my meta/discussion than to play in what had become a toxic pool for me. I didn’t really want to drop the account after my time there, but I couldn’t have dealt with the nonstop questions/messages/etc that would have piled in over the years, and eh, when you’re done you’re done. I criticize Hallmark television for fun, now, instead. It’s a lot less stressful! And literally nothing is That Deep so there’s very few delusions, at least on the Tumblr side of things. (Reddit, however, is insane, but I don’t post in the fandom there.)

As far as writing advice goes, I am going to apologize in advance for muddled thoughts. I just got out of work and have been staring at numbers all day, so it’s hard for me to think lmaoo.

In my opinion, any sort of character or personality type/flaw/whatever could have developed via a negative OR positive influence/catalyst, so that’s something to consider. I also think people tend to reach for “sad” or “traumatic” pasts either as a way to cope with their own issues/pasts/whatevers, or because it’s the “easy explanation” for why a character is the way they are.

If you WANT to write things a certain way, it’s sometimes a matter of changing the lens through which you’re viewing life, the story, the characters, or character writing in general. This is never easy, especially when you find a genre you feel comfortable in, but it’s always possible. When I was in college and submitted an autobiographical piece (Rot Tooth) for a creative writing final, I received multiple comments from classmates and even the professor that my talent/skill was in writing comedy. COMEDY!!!! I don’t think anyone who has read my writing from the last decade would say that I was a comedy writer. I stopped labeling ‘fics as humor/romance so long ago I can’t even remember when it was. But boom. I had written a comedy piece.

I don’t think I can ignore that most of the comedic elements in Rot Tooth were brought about because humor is one of the ways in which I cope with things, but it was also a very conscious choice I made. I wanted people to be able to engage with the story without being grossed out, without getting bored, without feeling that it was a poor-pathetic-me story, and humor was the classiest way to do it. Here, read this long story that includes journal entries from Ye Olde Livejournal days, but it will make you laugh often enough that the depressing aspects of the story don’t weigh it down too much! It was probably the only way to make the subject matter widely palatable. 

As often as I joke about characters or scenes or moments that “just write themselves” the author does have control. I mostly write fanfiction, so let’s go with examples from that.

I’m (very slowly) working on a ‘fic called Three Years which features a character who, when last seen, was headed off to serve a prison sentence. They haven’t been on the show for three years and thus I assume they have been serving that sentence for the last three years. The story starts when this character is released from prison. They are a woman. This is a historical piece of fiction. Prisons were vile to women and yet...this is fiction. I have a choice. I get to choose. Does she get to start her life off carrying 25 bags of trauma or just 2? It would be unreasonable to expect that someone, especially a woman, who was imprisoned for 3 years in the early 1900s wouldn’t have some issues (at the very least, the isolation would have been awful), but it doesn’t really have to be much worse than that. It doesn’t.

I have the power to choose.

A character has anger issues. Sure, he could have had a traumatic past with an abusive parent who took his anger out on him or his mom or whatever...or maybe it is an inherited personality trait and the parent figure with the problem was never really That Bad about it, but seeing it normalized makes it harder for the character in question to realize it’s a huge problem and part of their character arc is realizing they need to get help, not because they don’t want to be like their dad, and not because they hate their dad, but because they just want to be a better person/they don’t want to let that struggle consume them.

Someone’s sweetheart goes off to war. Guess what? They don’t have to die there to force a traumatic past. They don’t have to come back a raging alcoholic either. Maybe the time apart, and the time fighting a war just puts a natural sort of crack in the relationship by making it clearer to each character what they want in life/what matters to them in their life.

A character is super passionate about their work/hobby. Maybe they have ADHD and it’s a hyperfixation. Maybe they’re autistic and it’s a Special Interest. It doesn’t have to be “their parents ignored them and forced them to be alone all the time and they used this thing to cope so it means everything to them because it’s always been there.”

Maybe you have a character whose greatest fear is losing the people they love. It doesn’t have to be because a pet died in their arms when they were four and it traumatized them. It doesn’t have to be because they only have one person they love in the whole world. It can just be a thing because that’s a valid fear literally anyone can reasonably have, and maybe it’s a bigger deal because they don’t have siblings or aren’t close to many people! (And the “aren’t close to many people” thing doesn’t have to stem from trauma, either. Most busy adults for example who get to choose their friends, are just like that.)

A perfectionist might just have the personality type; it doesn’t mean their parents criticized everything they ever did. A person with three failed marriages might hesitate to fall in love and try again but it doesn’t have to be because those three failed marriages were abusive. A quiet character may just be shy or introverted by nature. 

I think everyone carries some kind of trauma with them, so it’s never unreasonable to have some in a person’s past (you can’t write an ugly character without having to think about the fact that they carry some trauma from what it’s like to grow up ugly), but it doesn’t have to define them. It doesn’t have to overshadow everything else in their past.

You can always ask yourself, “Why am I reaching for angst every time I create a backstory?” Literally everyone has some kind of angst. Most kids were hurt by things said to them in school, for example, or made fun of for some reason. Most people did something extremely embarrassing as a kid and never got over it. There are a thousand little moments in our adult lives that go back to these little points—you might call them the tiny traumas. But they’re not defining. They’re not so heavy they also live in the present. Not all of them.

Why do you reach for the darkest corner? Why not for the light? Or a middle ground?

I encourage people to write basically whatever floats their boat, but it sounds like you’re at a point where you just feel weighed down by that sort of stuff, and that’s not a great way to feel, especially when it discourages you from working on a project entirely.

My final suggestion: look at some of your favorite characters from various types of media. Are they all traumatized? What are their defining characteristics? Black Beauty has some depressing stuff in it, but is ultimately a story with a happy ending. Pride and Prejudice has drama, but nobody’s past is filled with the darkest stuff imaginable. North and South has awful things to consider in it (cotton mills were sooo awful) but the characters are not wildly traumatized people.

What kind of story are you trying to tell? Do the characters need to be traumatized to tell it? Does the story have to be dark to get across the message you want to send? 

Way back in the day, when I was into “that manga” I made an RP blog for a one-off character that nobody gave a damn about. Like, he was so one-off that even back in those days nobody even remembered him having existed. It was sort of a joke RP blog that wasn’t supposed to be serious. The only canon information we had about this character was that he enjoyed drinking. I decided to make him a lighthearted character because the series was pretty dark and I wanted to send people hilarious starters instead of wading through the muck of depression with everyone else’s sad, abused characters. I decided his family was old money and he had a brother. Nothing super traumatizing in his past. Some family issues but not the sort of thing that would haunt anyone. He was not traumatized in his recent past any more than other characters were. Mostly just “a regular guy.” I really loved RPing him. He was fun! The story could get heavy but he didn’t have to be.

Anyway, dive head-first into the dark angst if you want, but if it’s not necessary to tell the story you want to tell, just remember you don’t have to go there. You have the choice.

[perpetuitys]

AAAA hello everyone i’m peep and this is my independent n impulsive vampire bb michel !! also sorry for being Mad late i’ve been moving/flying for the past couple days but i’m finally settled in and super super excited to rp with you all :~) but Yes this is michel he has an attachment to the sea ...... he’s curious abt everything ..... can be very sarcastic at times .... and more found below !! also def hit me up to plot on discord <3 @uwfmintro​

STATISTICS  

FULL NAME:  michel de la rue NICKNAME(S): michel’s fine AGE:  twenty-five GENDER + PRONOUNS:  cis male + he/him ORIENTATION:  bisexual ZODIAC:  sagittarius sun, libra moon BIRTHDAY: december 3rd, 1802 PLACE OF BIRTH: paris, france OCCUPATION(S):  bartender, helps with the liberation TRAITS: (+) open-minded, honest, adventurous, curious, independent  / (-) turbulent, careless, irresponsible, impulsive, dogmatic

BIOGRAPHY

the following biography page contains the following: death, grief, suicidal ideation.

read at your own risk.  

HUMAN

it was eleven years later and new york was just starting to feel like his home. michel still hated speaking english and the permanent odor was sort of annoying, but he felt like he had a purpose that wasn’t dependent on war. fatigued by the aftermath of the french revolution and disappointed in the end of napoleon’s reign, the de la rue’s left their mother country when michel was fourteen in hopes of creating something new and fresh, devoid of any monarchial rule. his family lived a fairly simple life that was dedicated to running their bakery in brooklyn.

this simple life began to feel quite exhilarating as he found himself falling more and more in love with a newly-immigrated family friend at twenty. ever since meeting colette lyon (which of course was at the bakery — where else) he couldn’t think of anything else. the two remained inseparable into their marriage, too, where the two decided to momentarily elope to the beach despite his parents’ wishes. both colette and michel had a fascination with the sea, perhaps symbolizing the voyage that connected their childhood with their newfound adulthood. this fixation grew as he decided to leave his  family in favor of becoming a fisherman running his own shop at the local fish market (also against his parents’ wishes). and as their family grew to include two children, he believes it truly was the best financial decision he’s ever made (which he was well-aware there weren’t many).

but honestly, michel’s favorite thing about new york had to be the selection of taverns. the routine of waking up early, going out to fish, spending his entire day trying to sell his catches at the market, and coming home to two rowdy toddlers proved to exhaust the brunette both physically and emotionally by the time he was twenty-four. so, it wasn’t a surprise to often see him spending most of his evenings during the week at the local bar, making several short-term friends who also wanted to make the most of their night. however one night felt different as michel became what was most likely the most intoxicated he has ever been with a room with equally intoxicated men who decided that receiving fists hurt good and fighting felt fun. he was too drunk to process the chilled air (perhaps that hurt good, too), but something felt wrong as the men continued beating on him. leaving him bleeding out in the early winter air, it very quickly dawned on him that there would be no more life for him to live. no more colette. or his family and their quaint bakery. never see his children get married. as he made peace with this reality, in his last moments he thought about the sea.

VAMPIRE

everything felt bright and intense as he gasped his first breath of immortality. focusing his attention on how fast his senses were heightening and the excruciating bloodlust, it took a moment for him to realize his bougie surroundings. confused, capricious, and super fucking hungry, aleksander was there to guide him into this new underground world.

which honestly terrified the fuck out of michel. as his senses began to settle, his heart sank to his feet thinking about his death — the stupidity, carelessness and impulsivity causing an eternal separation to the life he worked hard to achieve. he grew depressed and the intense bloodlust that he wasn’t able to get a grasp on wasn’t doing much to uplift him. he depended on the older vampire emotionally as transitioning into a life completely vacant of his family was very challenging as he witnessed the rest of their lives at a distance. this often resulted in michel coming to him, very depressed as he questioned his vampirism, with aleksander always finding a way to lift his spirits and remind him of his purpose. because he saw it in michel that night before he died at the tavern. he saw the charm and how he could make anyone in the room feel like his best friend. he knew that once this cloudiness of despair and self-loathing blows over that a magnetic charisma would lie underneath. something he can use.

so, aleksander stayed beside him. reassured him. and ultimately invited him into his home to live as he would adopt him as a son, passing down his millennia of knowledge on to him and sowing seeds that he hoped to one day reap. luckily, the stages of grief passed away quickly throughout the coming months as michel realized the potential in this unfortunate situation. firstly, he has never seen so much opulence in his life. he heard stories of it, though mostly negative ones as they were all passed down from the french revolution, but now this was able to be his reality. and he was pretty fond of his newfound speed and strength. now at least it was guaranteed he wouldn’t die from another drunken bar fight.

but as he was increasingly noticing the positives of living in the mansion, the negatives began to bother him. or as others call them: helena. you see, with his human siblings, he didn’t have the problem of trust as they all grew up together and shared blood. but it wasn’t long after moving in that michel realized just how necessary the blood relation would be and how significant the corvinus name is in their world. and perhaps another large part of the problem was they didn’t truly see him as a sibling at all. truthfully, the condescension stung at the beginning and resulted in michel spending most days keeping to himself and reading the literature that occupied the walls.

as decades passed and michel was sure colette and the kids had most likely passed too, he found himself integrating back into human society by the end of the nineteenth century. which he surprisingly felt more relieved than disheartened by, as he’d finally be able to get more separation from his older sibling, but perhaps it could also be one of the signs of vampire cynicism creeping in. because, oh boy, did it creep in. the first couple decades of the twentieth century were probably most notably some of the sloppiest years michel had. he began transitioning from blood bags (the mansion always had them on deck) to feeding directly from humans and while he knew never to bite the neck, he felt it hard to resist biting elsewhere. and found it hard to resist in general, often accidentally killing a few people in the process.

however, once magdelena was born, he found himself becoming interested in the family again and decided to clean up his careless feeding act. as she grew older, he became quite fond of her presence and protective, because she sort of reminded him of his own son and daughter who he had left behind. in a way, it felt very cathartic to (practically) raise her; like he was writing a wrong and filling the void that the act of no longer being a father created. being there for her and caring for her gave him a purpose that he lacked up until that point (which probably explains his tendency to overfeed). he came around the house more, helping her as she developed into her vampirism and taught her all the things aleksander had taught him. minus the shitty values. when he would pop back into society, he spent it educating himself on new ideas and theories that inhabited both human and supernatural spheres, mostly out of curiosity and his love for learning if anything. during this time, he also eventually met others of his vampire kind as well as lycans, though more clandestine. many of which soon became his closest friends.

and that’s why he was fairly devastated to know about aleksander’s plans. his stomach twisted knowing that someone who once raised him could be capable of such cruelty. it sickened him — and he let him know it. which, in turn, earned him expulsion from his home of two centuries. maybe some saw it coming — how michel was often distanced from the start — but it still hurt the vampire nonetheless. he lost connection to his first family and it hurt like a bitch to lose it to another, regardless how he felt about them individually. especially to leave behind magdelena, who he felt attached to since her childhood. but he hoped that this would send a statement throughout their underground world. that they should not turn their eyes away from injustices no matter who it’s coming from. he needed to get the vampires to care about this issue and needed to do something to bring awareness and a call to action. so, in comparison, present-day michel is much less gloomy and blindly naive than early-day michel, luckily. although he still feels guilty and a tinge of regret for his association to aleksander, he finds that offering any resources he can in the fight for the liberation is his best way of coping with it.

[shiavanzin]

💀  * [ timothee chalamet + cis male + he/him ] —— have you met zigmund ‘shia’ ivan vanzin? they are a twenty  year old junior currently studying political science. they live on decker house, and word around campus is that this gemini is witty + charming, as well as manipulative + self destructive. i wonder if they’ll make it out alive. snorting lines off a priceless mirror, writing ancient runes in cigarette ash, the thrill of victory that accompanies a low ‘checkmate’. 

hello all, my name is pepper and i have never been on time for anything, ever, in my life so this is very on brand for me! that said, i am very excited to be here. shia is one of my favourite muses but because of his background it’s kind of hard for me to find places to play him, so i really jumped at the chance to be a part of this rp. that said, he is heathen so sdkjdsjk you’ve been warned, i suppose.

ABOUT THE MUN. fuck this *unfocuses my eyes*

fun fact about me, i’ve been working every day for the last ten days so i love that for me dkjdkj which is literally why me getting myself here was so chaotic honestly but i’m here i made it and we love to see it. honestly i am just a humble fergie enthusiast (patiently waiting for my girl to come back from her hiatus. any day now). i would die for a good aesthetic like pinterest owns my ass. i am big fan of the bachelor and specifically demi from the bachelor (demi from the bachelor if you are reading this i would like to hang out with you friday when i am free. please contact me if you’re able to hang out (on friday when i am free)). i am a huge superhero nerd. the first fanfic i ever wrote was a teen titans/danny phantom crossover and honestly? most ambitious crossover of all time, sorry endgame. i’ve never seen star wars or lord of the rings, and i’m okay with that. oh, and funnily enough i have never played chess which is about to be very ironic and i think that’s the perfect transition into shia’s bio.

BIO. child abuse tw, addiction tw, drug tw, and i think that’s it rip. 

(tldr literally just click the link in the second bullet point for a summary because that’s how shia grew up, with psychologist parents determined to make him a prodigy. he is technically a prodigy now as the youngest grandmaster in history. his family is weird and fucked up and cold blah blah blah takes a lot of drugs, drinks a lot of alcohol to cope with his messed up childhood blah blah blah went to boarding school for high school. oh, and there’s a meme of him. and that’s pretty much it.)

okay first of all here is shia’s pinterest board and here is his playlist, which is honestly just??? really messy and just filled with songs that remind me of him (like it doesn’t flow at all i’m pretty sure yk) so! yeah!

second of all, shia’s backstory is thoroughly inspired by a true story. like I legitimately found this (look at the early life portion to see what i’m talking about if you want but i’m about to explain it all below anyways) and was like !!!???? so yes, that’s how this mess was born (although i highkey think that gerard way got inspo from that family for the umbrella academy like??? that’s my little conspiracy theory. WHERE ARE THEIR ROYALTIES GERARD!)

Shia doesn’t remember life before he was adopted. Before he was Zigmund Ivan Vanzin, the fourth child of the carefully selected Vanzin 6. Honestly he’s not quite sure his life prior is of much importance, because things didn’t truly get crazy until after he was officially taken in by the Vanzin family at the tender age of two.

Shia and his five siblings were all part of an educational experiment carried out by their parents, Moira and Yakov Vanzin, in an attempt to prove that children could be trained to be prodigies if immersed in a specialist subject from a very early age. ‘Geniuses are made, not born’, was the tagline of their parents thesis, and the foundation on which Shia and his siblings’ entire childhood was based on. They would all be molded into prodigies, and they would be living, breathing proof of their parents achievements.

Because of the magnitude of their experiment, and Shia’s parents reputation (both of Shia’s parents was a very famous educational psychologists in their own right, and due to their fame, their experiment and their children were covered in magazines and newspapers worldwide. To this day a quick google search will lead you pictures of the Vanzin 6 growing up slowly on the covers of publications such as Times Magazine, Forbes, People, and of course a myriad of academic magazines as well.) they received heavy criticism at the time from some western media for ‘depriving the siblings of a normal childhood.’ But since all of the Vanzin children were born and raised in Russia, that criticism didn’t do much in the way of stopping them. Shia’s parents coolly ignored it all. They wanted to leave a mark. To change the future. And they both truly believed that their research would do that. They believed their work would completely revolutionize the way that children were educated, and that therefore, they would revolutionize the future.

And so the children were affectionately dubbed The Vanzin 6 by the media that wasn’t completely against the experiment. A cute little nickname smacked on what would normally be considered a child endangerment lawsuit. Sure, there were still those that protested, but their cries were quiet in comparison to the roars of the intrigued, of the curious, of the fans, because of course there were fans. So it goes without saying that Shia’s first photo op was when he was still in diapers. He smiled cheekily through the whole thing, in striking contrast to his siblings all staring empty eyed into the camera. Their lives were pretty much put on constant display from that point on, and honestly, at least in terms of Shia’s approach to photo ops, not much has changed on that front.

Shia’s parents educated their six children at home, each with their own specific subject to focus on. From the age of four, Shia, or Zigmund, as his birth certificate so lovingly displayed, (it should be noted that Moira and Yakov named all of their children after psychologists, and that Shia was simply unlucky enough to get Freud. So perhaps lovingly wasn’t the right word.) showed a talent for chess, and therefore that talent was ‘nurtured’. In other words, Shia was only allowed to live and breathe chess from the cursed day his chubby little fingers picked up a chess piece to, presumably, the day he died. If he wasn’t eating, sleeping, or doing his school work, Shia was playing chess. First he played against his father, and mother, and siblings and when that stopped posing a challenge, he got involved in official competitions. Those were somehow even less of a challenge, but granted, his siblings were being trained into geniuses. At first he played children his age, and then slightly older, and then much older, which Shia will admit, was the most fun. Even as a child there was just something about seeing a grown man go red in the face with frustration as he lost to a child. Something amusing. Something powerful. Admittedly, chess got old. But that specific red faced look never did.

Shia rose up the ranks slowly and steadily from then on, already creating quite a stir in the world of chess by the age of six. And considering this was what they wanted, you would think his parents would be proud. Thrilled even. However that was not completely the case.

For as long as Shia can remember his relationship with his parents had been more ‘professional’ than affectionate. To start, he and his siblings all called them both by their first names. Considering he was adopted, Shia would never know what his first word was, that memory was lost to him and kept only by the parents who didn’t want him enough to keep him in the first place. But even if he was born to Moira and Yakov, if the two were his flesh and blood, he knows with absolute surety that the first words to come out of his mouth wouldn’t have been ‘Mama’ or ‘Papa’. The two never referred to themselves that way, and they didn’t expect their children to either. Shia remembers with painful clarity first and only time he tried. Or rather, he remembers the stomach turning look of both confusion and contempt from Moira that followed the one time he tried. He never tried again.

His parents didn’t offer much when it came to what normal parents did he supposed. He didn’t receive much physical affection from them, or sugar coated words. They were their parents, yes, but they were also their handlers, and being raised with that emotional distance definitely had an impact on Shia’s psyche. All Shia wanted to do was impress his parents. Maybe get a good job, or a hug, or a smile. The kind of things he’d seen other kids get just for breathing, or using a toilet. But he knew his parents expected more. He knew they expected the best. So the only way he knew how to achieve his goal of attaining his parents affection was to work harder. To be the best he could at chess, the best anyone could at chess, and once he did that he knew his parents would reward him. He knew they would love him for taking the first step to make their dreams come true. When he was young he used to have dreams of that reward. Of how good it would feel to know they were proud of him. He imagined it feeling warm. And light, like he’d read in books. He imagined it feeling worth it.

Shia and his siblings were never the children that got asked that question, you know, the question that all children can relate to answering with bubbling wide eyed excitement. ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’ The answer was laid out for them. It was decided before they even had a chance to think about it, and any time someone made the mistake of asking them the question, their parents  answered for them. She will be the world’s youngest prima ballerina. She will be a legend in the musical field. He will be grandmaster. No, dreams weren’t for the Vanzin children, so Shia’s kept his quiet. Kept it close to his heart where his parents couldn’t admonish him for being sentimental or fickle or any of the other large words they used that Shia was only instructed to look up in the dictionary. His dream of gaining their favour was his, and his alone. Shia learned very quickly in life to keep your cards close, and your heart buried.

And after years of hard work and dedication, and a lot of blood sweat and tears, Shia did it. He won. He finally beat everyone there was to beat, and at the youngest recorded age of ten to boot. Shia was officially the world’s youngest grandmaster. His record has still yet to be beat to this day. And that day, he looked to his parents, ready for them to run to him and shower him with the affection and praise he longed for. It didn’t take long for the ecstatic expression on his young face to fall.

The most Shia got was an approving nod from his mother from across the room. His father, for his part, was on a phone call. That was it. The crowd roared around him, and the audience clapped with the enthusiasm usually reserved for sports games and concerts. The reporters at the event stumbled over their words trying to communicate the record breaking event that they had just witnessed, from one of the lionized Vanzin 6. It was chaos, beautiful, celebratory chaos, all for Shia, but it was all a blur around him. He couldn’t see it. All he could see was Moira and Yakov, turning away from him and towards each other, whispering god knows what. He had their full attention for maybe all of a minute. They didn’t even smile.

(There is live video of Shia having his dream crushed right before his eyes. Recordings of it on youtube. How many people can say that, aye? The true power of celebrity. The gif of Shia’s shocked and empty expression amidst a crowd of ballistic celebration even became a meme at one point, a meme that Shia later bitterly used on occasion, because what was more powerful than using a meme of yourself? Than using your own pain for humour? Nothing, in Shia’s opinion.)

After Shia became grandmaster everything stopped. After all, there was nothing more to train him for. He had achieved his goal. He had won. And with his parents no longer focusing on training him and leaving him completely to his own devices, well, they stopped paying attention to him completely. Shia was all at once almost completely emancipated. The freedom of it all was freeing for all of a week. Then, Shia started to feel painfully invisible.

Prior to becoming grandmaster, Shia was quiet. Polite. Very calm, very observant, a bit distant and reserved for a kid, but no real red flags. Afterwards, however? After he felt like his parents no longer had any use for him, no longer had any anything for him, well Shia lashed out. Rebelled. Became louder, sharper tongued, more mischievous. He started acting out in hopes that they would give him some of the attention he so desperately craved, and while they did, none of it was positive. Shia quickly became the problem child of the Vanzin 6, somehow both his parents pride and joy as the first of their children to reach their goal, but also their greatest disappointment as the first one to turn against them.

Without chess to focus on, Shia turned to his siblings for entertainment. However Shia’s version of entertainment was never completely harmless. From a young age he had a habit of using people like chess pieces, of manipulating them and turning them against each other or towards each other for his own cheap entertainment. Shia could singlehandedly trick his siblings out of an argument when he was younger (or into an argument, when he was feeling particularly chaotic). He could trick the few peers he came across into simply giving him their toys or snacks, and trick bullies into leaving him alone a good amount of time too. It was both a gift and a curse, because people were never quite happy when they caught on. Most didn’t but the few that did were memorable in the violence of their anger. And besides, his parents never liked it. Shia would come home with an armful of toys that other kids ‘gave’ him and his parents would always force him to go bring them back, despite the fact that the Vanzin children were never really allowed toys of their own. The fact was, Shia’s moral compass was faulty. He never quite understood why what he was doing was wrong no matter how many times his parents tried to explain to him that people were not to be used as tools. Shia didn’t get how what he was doing was that much different from what they were. After all, weren’t Shia and his siblings nothing more than tools in his parents experiment? He asked them the question once. All he got for his efforts was a stinging cheek and a cold reminder from Moira not to be cheeky.

As Shia got older his rebellion got worse. In his defense, he was left unsupervised. While his siblings were busy with their training, Shia would be sneaking out to parties or bars or clubs. It was in those places that he was introduced to his first great loves. Drugs and alcohol. Moira and Yakov kept the Vanzin mansion dry as a monastery, so Shia had never even had a sip of beer before the age of thirteen. But the moment he did, he was a goner. Or rather the moment he got drunk he was a goner. There was something so beautiful to him about intoxication. So addicting, for lack of better word. When he was high, or drunk, or preferably, both, he felt happy. He didn’t remember his parents, or his responsibilities, or his failures, or even his successes. He was warm. And light. And content. Turns out he didn’t need his parents to make his dreams come true. Just a bottle of vodka and a line or two of coke.

After about a year of Shia coming home drunk or high or a combination of the two, eventually his parents couldn’t take it anymore (in the sharp words of Moira Vanzin, ‘Zigmund your behaviour is distracting your siblings from their training’) and sent him off to boarding school. Honestly, it hurt. His parents were basically getting rid of him because he was inconvenient, and he could never forget their out of sight out of mind approach to the whole thing.

Boarding school flew by in a mess of Riot Club like antics during which Shia did things like discover his bisexuality and somehow, against all odds, graduate. (TBH I wanna leave this pretty open in case there is any other boarding school kids who could have perhaps gone to the same school Shia did, so hmu if you have a boarding school kiddo.) He definitely attributes his acceptance to Holloway on his name completely, because honestly Shia was completely high when he wrote his college application, so high that he can’t even remember why he did it. He had no plans of going to college before that, but he figured... why not party in america and waste his parents money? What was stopping him?

So here he is, a whole mess in another country, and honestly he’s having the time of his life. Well, you know. Until people started dying. That isn’t ideal.

PERSONALITY. emotionally damaged, but make it sexy.

manipulative (we been knew) sometimes without really trying to be though. will manipulate people to get what he wants, but sometimes he just thinks of it like a nudge in the right direction. like he’ll manipulate a friend into talking to that girl they’ve had a crush on for half the year just because he wants them to be happy (and also he’s tired of hearing them talk about her)

selfish/self centered cause it’s just not?? his first instinct to think about other people’s feelings?? and it’s also kind of hard for him to empathize sometimes, especially if he’s never been in that situation or he doesn’t like KNOW and CARE about the person.

charming and charismatic, he’s got a great smile and he knows how to use it. also just very endearing if you don’t know him well, and even sometimes when you do. this is mostly a facet of him being very manipulative because he usually uses his charm to get what he wants, but still.

witty oof, this boy’s humour is inspired by klaus hargreeves and villanelle (what a duo,,, when will they meet) and he’s very rarely serious. always telling jokes, always pretty nudge nudge wink wink, even in very serious situations when he shouldn’t be. uses humour as a coping mechanism 100%, whether that’s at his own expense or someone else’s. honestly, can be kind of mean with it? like if anyone can go for the jugular with a joke it’s shia.

a big flirt honestly. will flirt with anyone he’s interested in, and will sometimes flirt without really noticing it? sometimes will flirt just for sport, or for fun, or to bug someone, or throw someone off. the type to flirt with his professor as a joke (why has he not been kicked out of here already) and has probably slept with a professor as a result. not really a player, but he enjoys physical intimacy and he knows how to get it. has been in more than a few relationships in the past, but is never very good at it because he’s almost constantly looking out for number one, aka himself. so? a mess basically.

vengeful, petty, spiteful, vindictive, all when angry or jealous or feeling as if he’s been wronged in some way but we been knew,,, we been knew.

rebellious !! still the type to suggest skipping town and partying instead of sticking around for exams. not really invested in school tbh. he has no idea what he’s going to do with his future.

a big superiority complex! cocky as hell! kind of acts like he’s the best thing since sliced bread because he was over praised as a child by like everyone but his parents. the type to think he ain’t shit deep down so he acts like he’s The Shit yk

craves love and intimacy but thinks romance is a sham. a big pessimist like ‘we’re all just floating on this rock life is meaningless we’re all gonna die anyways’ pessimist but kind of a realist tbh, he just doesn’t see the reason to sugar coat things unless ofc he’s manipulating someone then he’ll say whatever he needs to

trust issues, after his parents tbh. the only people he trusts 100% are his siblings and maybe a few close friends. i honestly may put in a wanted connection for his siblings at one point, but that’s for later.

HEADCANNONS. running for your life (from shia labeouf) he’s brandishing a knife (it’s shia labeouf)

a thick russian accent. speaks pretty impeccable english though because his parents tutored him in the english as a child. He also speaks a bit of french, german, and latin, and is currently taking mandrin chinese.

Is taking political science because he figures being a politician is just manipulating people on a larger scale, and he’d be right. However he’s not sure if that’s what he’ll actually end up going into. Honestly, Shia isn’t the slightest bit sure what he actually wants to do with his life.

His eldest sibling Jean was the one to give Shia the nickname ‘Shia’ after he confided in her that he’s always hated his name, and he’s gone by it ever since. His parents still call him Zigmund, and some of his siblings probably still call him Zig or Ziggy but like i said sdkdsk he has always hated the name (he does not want to be associated with the guy who invented the concept of the Oedipus complex). The only nickname he can stomach sometimes is Z, but other than that he’ll only accept Shia (or Shy to a select few).

was never raised with a television?? didn’t even go to a MOVIE THEATER until he was like fourteen??? so he has absolutely NO idea who Shia Laboeuf really is. People keep making jokes about it to him and he’s like ???? Honestly he googled him once and just gave up after thirty seconds, convinced people were fucking with him because this person couldn’t be real dlksdskld anyways yeah, knows next to nothing about a lot of pop culture, especially anything like before 2010, but has learnt a bit since coming out of his families little bubble. But there are still times where Shia’s like ??? what tf is that and someone’s got to explain what rolly polly olly is to him yk

Shia has a photographic memory, but honestly he doesn’t really care about it. In his eyes having a photographic memory doesn’t make you a genius, it just makes tests easier. Like to him it just means he doesn’t have to flip through his source material for quotes sdkjsdjk. It’s nothing exciting to him sdkdsk he skipped a grade because of it though but honestly?? All he really uses it for now is receipts like a little shit. Shia will legit be in an argument like “oh that wasn’t what you said in that text you sent to me at 4:45 on monday june 3rd 2017???” sdkjsdj. Occasionally he also uses it as a party trick, like if you give him a specific date he could probably tell you the newspaper headline on that day.

Has zero athletic skill. Absolutely none. Would one hundred percent lose in a fight, which is funny because he talks SO MUCH SHIT. He talks constant shit, and yet if you were to throw a punch at Shia he would go down like a rock. He doesn’t particularly care if he gets his ass beat though, so he continues to talk large amounts of shit, occasionally from a safe distance but usually not.

Honestly if you were to see him and his parents interact today it’d be wild, like you wouldn’t even know they were related. They literally act like strangers or acquaintances. Like it’s all like ‘Moira, Yakov, good to see you.’ and ‘You too Zigmund. I trust you’ve been well?’ and that goes on for like five minutes and then Shia has to hyperventilate in a corner for a bit. Like it’s so weird but it’s just been like that all his life. Normal healthy affection??? He doesn’t know her

Has a tattoo of a queen piece on the index finger of his left hand, as a little nod to what used to be his passion. Is also left handed.

Has a scar through his eyebrow that he got on a wild night out when he was thirteen. He got drunk and like passed out, and hit his head hit the edge of a table in the process. There was a lot of blood and a lot of panic, but in the end Shia only had to get a few stitches and he was very quickly back on his bullshit the moment he left the hospital. Literally, he went straight from the hospital to a house party (after all, it’s not like his parents even came to visit him and make sure he got home, so Shia simply did whatever he wanted to.)

Has a helix piercing in his right ear. It’s just a very basic silver hoop though.

His parents never really let the siblings have hobbies, but I imagine one of Shia’s siblings is a horse riding prodigy so he has some experience in that. One of them is a language prodigy, hence why Shia is conversational in so many. Jean, the eldest, is a musical prodigy and has lovingly taught Shia a bit of piano and violin. He is nowhere near as good at those things as he was at chess, but doing any of them reminds him of his siblings, so he tends to actually turn to them more often than chess. If I’m being honest I don’t think that Shia has played a game of chess since he became grandmaster unless forced to by his parents?

Mentally Shia knows he’s an adult now and that his parents technically have no control over him, but emotionally whenever they look at him he just… feels like that empty little kid again.

Tends to always have one of those travel sized bottles of vodka on him so if you’re feeling stressed hit your boy up.

Has honestly been rich since the day he was adopted, like literally has no idea how to function without copious amounts of money?

Shia is staying in the Decker dorms because he thrives on the chaos.

Definitely an addict, definitely high functioning though but also like? It isn’t a secret? I contemplated making it a secret but once again Shia has always got a travel sized bottle of vodka on him sdkjsd you can see him casually spiking his drinks if you’re ever out with him, he pops whatever pills he can find in his pockets in the morning. So yeah it is not a secret that Shia is an addict, he is rarely sober and that’s the way he likes it. Doesn’t consider himself an addict though, funnily enough.

WANTED CONNECTIONS. god we finally got here sjsdj if you got this far you’re the real mvp.

okay to start here is my wc tag for shia so i would absolutely love anything inspired by anything in that tag.

FRIENDS FROM BOARDING SCHOOL. i already talked about this a bit but i would absolutely love it so i’m mentioning it again sdjds i am really flexible about where shia went to boarding school, so literally wherever your muse went works for me. all i want is some dead poets society antics you feel me.

CHILDHOOD FRIEND. listen to me. i love childhood friend connections so much give it to me please and i will give you my first born child in exchange. again, shia grew up in russia, but it could be a long distance friendship if need be. we can make it work, i will literally change stuff around to make it work.

PREVIOUS ONE NIGHT STANDS. honestly shia would have multiple of these cause he’s a hoe. did he ghost your muse? did they mutually ghost each other? was it a one night stand gone wrong?

ENEMY. it’s so easy to hate him man. anyone who wants to hate him please feel free. did shia screw your muse over? did he manipulate them? did he i don’t know throw up on their shoes while particularly drunk? maybe shia was high when he did the thing they hate him for, maybe he doesn’t even remember but he just hates them cause they hate him. it’s the principle of the thing really. (me in my head: *junie b jones vc* princiPAL cause he’s your PAL). unreasonable completely baseless hate for no reason at all? 

FLIRTATIONSHIP. a fun ‘will they, won’t they’ kind of situation because why not. what’s stopping us. just fun banter on both ends. 

EXES. shia doesn’t date so he wouldn’t have too many of these but it would be fun. maybe their relationship was toxic because of shia’s toxic ass traits skjdsj maybe things were getting real and shia dipped like the coward he is. maybe it’s was a the colonel x sarah esque relationship where no one got it because they both seemed to hate each other the whole time and they very much did hate each other but were dating anyways. maybe it’s maybeline. 

FWB/EWB. honestly this is more shia’s speed, so he’d probably have more of these as well as ex-fwbs/ewbs, which is such a fun concept. did it stop because someone caught feelings? or did they just get bored of each other? some other reason? but okay, back to the point, yes sexy enemies. sexy friends. we love to see it. 

HIGH SOCIETY. someone he gets fucked up with! multiple people he gets fucked up with! they party together, drink together, do lines together. it’s a beautiful relationship of them all enabling each other. 

GOOD INFLUENCE. counter actively. someone who tries to get shia away from his self destructive tendencies. someone who’s door he comes knocking at when he’s black out drunk because he knows they’ll give him a place to sleep. Someone he calls when he ends up in butt fuck nowhere with no shoes after a crazy night. Also, as wild as it is, flip it, where Shia’s hypocritical ass cares about your muse enough to try and take care of them. High off his ass but still trying to stick his fingers down their throat so they don’t get alcohol poisoning. They text him when they’re ‘going home’ when they were pre-gaming at their house in the first place. Shia is very ‘you would die without me’ about this person.

BAD INFLUENCE. shia is the devil kronk on their shoulder. he tempts them to the dark side with promises of a good time, and he delivers thank you very much. 

A DRUG DEALER. i mean??? i’m ngl shia i very dependent on drugs, so he would probably keep this person close and do his best to keep them happy.

SOMEONE SHIA CHEATS FOR OR CHEATED FOR. maybe shia did their homework or took a test for them, all for an ominous ‘you owe me’?

SOMEONE SHIA SCREWED OVER. he does this all the time so yeah there can be multiples of this skjsdj shia is honestly like genuinely loyal to only a few people, so there are probably more than few people he left in the dust to save his own skin. maybe he saw the cops closing in on a party and left your muse for dead! or whatever else yk.

ANNOYANCE. it’s shia he’s the annoyance. 

okay i think that’s all i’ve got, and if you made it all the way down here you’re??? an icon??? wow, i really can’t believe. please like this if you want to plot and i will come running!

[captain-black-water]

I’chi “Black Water” Tia

The Basics ––– –

Age: Thirty-seven

Race: Seeker of the Sun Miqo’te/Highlander Hyur

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Gay

Marital Status: Single

Server: Mateus - Crystal

Physical Appearance ––– –

Hair: Thick black hair with a constant shine. He doesn’t care for it as often as he should, usually letting it get slick with grease and sea salt until someone negs him enough to do something about it. When down his hair reaches down to about his midsection but, more often than not, he will usually put his hair up in some thickly bound braids that he then bundles in a knot.

Eyes: A keen feline yellow, with the trademark Seeker pupils. However, his right eye is marred by a cloudy texture. A birth defect that labels him as blind at a glance. Though his left eye is without this distinctive feature, it’s certainly no more capable of focusing on any one detail.

Height: 6′3″

Build: Broad chested, with well-defined muscle. I’chi keeps himself well in shape, focusing mostly on his naturally strong Miqo’te legs and his chest.

Distinguishing Marks: One of the first things anyone might notice about I’chi are the tattoos that decorate his face. They resemble the stripes of a tiger, turning his already intimidating features all the more grim and fearsome. But those aren’t his only tattoos. On his back, I’chi sports the image of a white tiger immerging from the depths of a black sea, surrounded by brilliantly marbled koi and vibrant orange petals. The colors are vivid and distinct with strong black lines, perhaps so that I’chi himself might be able to see them in a mirror’s reflection.

Common Accessories: I’chi finds himself in many different outfits but one accessory that he maintains throughout all of them is the gold earring near the tip of his right ear. It is sometimes, but not always, accompanied by some other rings that don’t shine quite as brightly.

Personal ––– –

Profession: Self-employed. I’chi runs the show that provides the downtrodden and poor with what they need to survive and get back on their feet, employing the street rats of Eorzea’s major cities to keep their eyes and ears open. He learns and deals with secrets, often using what intelligence he gathers to blackmail and bring down corrupt nobles and politicians in Ul’dah. Meanwhile, in Limsa Lominsa, he anonymously provides the Maelstrom with tips and information on criminals within their jurisdiction. Any gil I’chi earns through his efforts - often taken from those who stole it to begin with - is redistributed to those in need. None of these dealings, however, are public knowledge and he does not speak of these dealings openly.

Hobbies: In his free time, I’chi occupies his time by drinking or getting himself into someone else’s bed. Often both at once. There’s no better way for him to forget about the past than to be too busy finding pleasure in the present. 

Residence: Owns a home in Shirogane known as “Tiger Lily Cottage” where he often frequents and stays during his visits to the Far East. He as well owns a rundown and abandoned mansion somewhere within Thanalan, given the deed to the place after the owner passed away. He’s done little to nothing with the places, aside from paying it the occasional visit.

Birthplace: Details of where I’chi was born are unknown to him, but his best guess is wherever the I tribe of Miqo’te make their home. He never bothered to learn where that may be.

Patron Deity: Llymlaen.

Fears: True vulnerability. Getting too close to someone. His past. Being submerged underwater. Losing what very little sight he still has. 

Relationships ––– -

Spouse: Negative

Children: N/A

Parents: Miqo’te Mother, Deceased. Highlander Hyur Father, MIA.

Siblings: Yes, though he doesn’t know of where they are or if they’re still alive. None share his mixed heritage.

Other Relatives: Yes but, similar to the above, he doesn’t know them. Nor does he wish to.

Pets: Some fish back home in Shirogane.

Traits ––– -

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between / Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

Additional information ––– –

Themes and more: For the comfort and well being of all involved, it is very important that I make clear some potentially triggering subjects. I’chi’s past deals with themes of sexual violence, other non-violent sexual situations, parental death, murder, and strong language. Additionally, I’chi himself deals with depression and copes poorly through alcoholism and non-violent sexual acts. All that being said, I roleplay I’chi lightheartedly and save the darker themes for when I am sure that those participating in the roleplay are comfortable exploring those heavier themes. Just as people in the real world are flawed and multidimensional, so too is I’chi (or at least that’s how I hope to depict him), which means there are some things to his character that are rightfully considered to be bad. I will not fault anyone for only wishing to see the lighthearted side of I’chi’s character.

What I’m Looking For: I’m hoping to broaden my horizons as a roleplayer by roleplaying with many different people and experiencing new and interesting situations! I am always open to making friends and discussing potential plot ideas. I appreciate many different themes, but I would lying if I said I didn’t have a preference. While I can enjoy comedic and lighthearted stories, I find I am only ever truly invested in those with emotional weight, nuance, and depth. I prefer dark and/or romantic themes, but not so much in that I crave constant edge and agony or only erotic entanglements. Balance, y’know? Most of all, I have a story for I’chi that I wish to see unfold, and I want to welcome others to join me in telling that story - and yours too!

RP Hooks ––– –

Black Water: I’chi was raised amongst the Bloodtides crew under the careful watch of their captain, a man who held the title of “Black Water”. Under Black Water’s command, I’chi and the rest of the Bloodtides laid siege to many innocents, earning their name by turning the tide’s red with blood. Around the time I’chi entered his adulthood he began to plot to overthrow the reigning Black Water and usurper his title, successfully convincing enough of the crew to join him in his bloody revolution. His actions left the Bloodtides fewer in numbers, yet I’chi’s reign as the new Black Water led the crew to riches untold. However, as fate would have it, I’chi’s time as captain was cut short as he was done in by the same fate as the Black Water before him. Although he survived being tossed overboard with weights strapped to his arms and legs, his reputation did not. I’chi was declared dead and, though he later showed his face again to the Maelstrom that sought his head, the people were content to let that be the end of his story. Perhaps your character was affected by the Bloodtides at some point in their life, either before, during, or after I’chi’s reign as Black Water. Perhaps your character was one of the Bloodtides on his crew. Or perhaps you simply knew the legends as they were so often told around Limsa’s docks. Either way, there are plenty of different avenues to explore with this legacy!

White Tiger: One might think that I’chi being as large and distinctive as he is might be why the eyes of Kugane’s citizens can’t seem to look away, but the name they whisper under their breath tells a different story. The tale of the ‘White Tiger of Kugane’ they mutter to those not in the know. A tale regaling the exploits of one beastly figure, more animal than man, whose loyalties they cannot disconcern. They speak of how he once worked as the muscle for a gang of criminals who terrorized Kugane’s merchants, taking a cut from their profits in exchange for the kindness of leaving them and their wares be. But suddenly, one day, the White Tiger turned his blade on the very master that held their leash. He severed their head from their shoulders on the city streets, turning his white coat red and stirring panic and awe in the people. As the authorities gave chase, he led them back to where the criminals made their home, vanishing from sight and leaving the others to take the fall. His actions freed the people from a threat they could not oppose on their own, and for that they are grateful. But were his actions truly selfless? Your character may have had a run-in with I’chi during this time in his life, or maybe they were witness to his infamous deed. Perhaps they only know the legend. I am open to discussing any connections, just let me know!

Contact Information/About the player ––– –

Hello, and thank you for reading this far! My name is Blake, and you can usually find/contact me here or on I’chi Tia on Mateus. Btw I 100% stole this format from my friend Speedie, who you can find here. I keep a bit of an odd, migrating schedule, but I am always happy to make room for some RP whenever we can make it work! 

[but-first--tea]

LFRP: Kyraeth Vale

location: Crystal Data Center (Balmung)

full name:  Kyraeth Aille Vale pronunciation:  Keer-uh-eeth Awl-uh Vale (The Celtic origin of the name is Cyhiraeth, but I altered the spelling to make it more user friendly.) nicknames:  Kyra height: 5'6" age: 27 (almost 28, her birthday is next month!) 

languages: common, Sharlayan, can read some ancient languages but doesn't speak them

relationship status: single

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS

hair color:  copper eye color:  pale green skin tone:  fair body type:  lithe accent: Sharlayan, with definite Limsan influence posture:  poised and confident scars: none visible accessories: a silver chain that bears a darkened crystal pendant which is typically always hidden from view

Traits

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between / Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

CHILDHOOD

Much of her very early childhood was spent moving from place to place as her parents avoided any potential pursuit for their crime. However, most of her memories are of growing up in Limsa, her father often at sea, her mother coddling her and worried about her frequent illness, and her older brother bringing back piles of books from Gridania to keep her occupied. Her life changed completely when a stranger calling himself Drutwas showed up and offered her the "cure" for her illness.

place of birth:  Sharlayan

hometown:  Limsa Lominsa, though she's spent the last two years traveling abroad

siblings:  an older brother named Faolan, deceased 4 years ago

parents:  Mathu and Irnan Vale.  Irnan deceased 2 years ago

upbringing: by her highly overprotective family, reading as many books as she could get her hands on, and awaiting more tales of her "privateer" father's adventures at sea.

ADULT LIFE

Kyra's entire world changed when the cause of her frequent illness was "cured" by a man calling himself Drutwas. He was later revealed to be a lesser Ascian attempting to manipulate her to his own ends. Much of her adult life has been focused on attempting to free herself from his machinations, and finding a way to end him. After years of working toward this goal, her beloved Tay sacrificed himself, binding his own spirit into a relic that now serves as the Ascian's prison. She has promised to make his sacrifice worthwhile, and live the best life she can, moving forward.

Character RP History: located here.

occupation: soulcrafter/spirit healer (not advertised openly), aetheric researcher

current residence:  Goblet

financial status: never seems wanting for gil, but doesn't flaunt it, either. 

weapons: arcanima, being smart enough to avoid the fight in the first place, a sword that she doesn’t seem to know how to wield, its hilt wrapped in silk painted with warding sigils.

vices: reckless and impulsive behavior, a weakness for rum, a bit of hedonistic tendency

SEX & ROMANCE

sexual orientation: heterosexual, demisexual

preferred sexual role: switch

turn ons: strength, altruism, intelligence, emotional maturity, intensity, strong-willed, determined, kind, sense of humor, confidence, loyalty, time spent together, a bit of danger

turn offs: ignorance, immaturity, cruelty, drug dependence, submissive, overly charming/insincere, selfish, shallow, betrayal, overly materialistic

love language: trust, a willingness to allow the other to lead, physical contact, devotion, indulging

relationship tendencies: Kyra has experienced a great deal of hardship and loss, and has built up her emotional armor accordingly. While she's not snobbish or hostile, she's difficult to get physically or emotionally close to. She won't assume that anyone particularly cares for her without said person making it too obvious to brush off or ignore. She won't rush into anything. Any relationship with Kyra will be the result of a slow burn. She is monogamous by nature. If she actually physically touches someone voluntarily, it's a fairly significant act. Enjoy a challenge? Here’s your ship!

MISCELLANEOUS

hobbies to pass the time: reading, drinking tea, listening to musical performances, sight seeing/exploring/travel, learning any new skill no matter how random, anything she's never done before (within reason... usually). Currently trying to learn swordsmanship.

mental illness: oh, she has some serious emotional baggage, but nothing that would qualify as an illness.

physical illness: aetheric hypersensitivity, currently "cured"

left or right brain: balanced

self confidence level: situational. Typically very outwardly confident, no matter how she feels about the situation inwardly.

vulnerabilities: self-isolation, a lack of physical combat skill, vulnerable to physical contact

RP HOOKS

walking library: this woman has spent her life researching things as a coping mechanism. If she doesn't know the answer, she can probably tell you where to find it. 

also a walking bomb shelter: she is protected with enough magical warding on her person you'd think she were expecting to be hit with a meteor at any moment. Paranoid, much? Anyone aetherically sensitive/trained is probably going to notice this and wonder... what the actual hells?

but... why?  She carries a sword with her, always, but can -clearly- not wield it. Anyone experienced with a sword could tell that she's definitely not.

probably in need of a bodyguard: She has a lot of (sometimes rather shady) things she intends to do, and a lot of people/creatures in the way of said things. She’s not really a combat character, and it would go rather badly if she tried to do them alone. 

spirit healer: this character focuses on healing non-physical ailments. MSQ has now made this accepted canon, as soulcraft \o/. However, I won't RP her showing up, fixing your problem instantly, and leaving. No heal-botting, please.

searching for an artifact: She's looking for a soulstone to replace one she's had taken from her, in hopes of gaining further insight. She'll chase down any rumors, hints, or leads no matter how bad the idea sounds. It probably won't even be the one she needs, but it's worth looking into all the same.

extremely curious: Have your own story arc? Kyra can’t seem to mind her own business, and can easily be drawn in! Want to hook our stories together so our characters end up working with each other ... or against each other as it plays out? I'm up for plotting and brainstorming!

open to shipping: While this is my one and only RP character and I won’t ship with alts, or engage in AU or multi-shipping, I am interested in potentially developing a romance for this character. 

OOC

I am 40 years old, and I started RPing when I was 15. I prefer emotionally mature RP partners, and I have no tolerance for poor communication, toxic behavior, or drama. I am NOT interested in any OOC romance.

I am in the CST time zone, and I make my own schedule. I can be available for Discord RP at nearly any time of day, and in-game things anywhere from 8am to 9pm. However, I’m not a night owl and you won’t find me in game at all after 9pm.

While I don’t do hard core raiding, I do enjoy content. I can play most jobs, and I’m an omnicrafter.

I have a love for very long-term, complex story arcs that can take months, or even years to play out. I don't particularly enjoy "tavern RP" or random scenes that don't build up to anything. I do enjoy slice of life, but only when it's building the character dynamic between co-workers/friends/family/romantic partners.  I prefer to put my time into building character connections with strong significance, and as such I'd rather not RP with rarely-played alts.

My character is located on Balmung, but I am happy to RP with characters located anywhere on the Crystal data center. 

Discord: Kyraeth#4608

@balmungrp  @ffxiv-crystal-rp​ @mooglemeet​

[theodcra-blog]

✱  kim  doyeon.  she  /  her.  cis  female.  —  i  know  that  theodora  “  theo  ”  jung  is  one  of  the  roses.  which  makes  sense  because  the  twenty  year  old’s  parents  are  hollywood  royalty  known  for  producing  and  recording  multi-platinum  awarded  albums.  rumors  say  that  they  are  the  quixotic  of   the   group  ,  but  who  knows  if  that’s true.  +  plucking  petals  off  of  daisies  in  the  name  of  a  crush  ,  steeping  teabags  for  too  long  ,  the  scent  of  perfume  left  behind  on  a  pillowcase.

                   hello  !  im  xan  and  im  late  as  usual  but  alas  ...  😔  im  22  ,  from  the  est  timezone  (  even  though  my  sleeping  schedule  …  does  not  reflect  that  sjbdwjkbdjdw  )  &  i  go  by  she  /  her  pronouns  !  i  truly  ...  never  know  what  im  doing  with  intros  they  just  turn  out  long  &  messy  aha  ... are  u  ready  ?  *jungkook vc*  let’s  get  it  !  😋

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     QUICK STATS  !

full name: theodora marie jung.

nickname(s): theo, teddy, dora (  but only by bullies 😠 ).

zodiac: libra sun, aqua moon ( click ! ) 

sexuality: bisexual.

occupation: singer / songwriter, model. 

birthplace: los angeles, california.

current residence: wherever this rp is taking place aha x

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     BACKSTORY ! ( tw: sexual themes )

so her parent’s story was actually a pretty big scandal in the 90′s ! basically theo’s mom was the pretty famous front woman of a band ( think stevie nicks in fleetwood mac ) who was long engaged to the guitarist of that same band....until one day it was announced she was quitting the group and starting her solo career, leaving her fiance, and signing to a new label.....which was run by theo’s father, a young up & coming producer taking over the family business. not even three months later theo’s mom releases her first solo album, produced and co-written by theo’s father, basically detailing this years long affair the two had been having... in a series of really catchy, moving, and wildly successful songs. 

the public went crazy over the drama, especially when rumors started circulating ( through detailed analysis of the lyrics to all of theo’s mom’s solo songs ) that the well known band had actually been quite toxic. basically it was enough to convince media outlets and fans alike to forgive theo’s parents for being cheaters and breaking up the band JSDBWBDJWBD. by the time theo was born in the last year of the iconic decade that launched both her parents into stardom, everyone couldn’t be happier the two stars were getting the happy life they deserved <3

so here comes baby theo.....and the world kind of just immediately labels her as america’s sweetheart. her mom had some minor health issues which just meant it would be safer to not have anymore kids after theo, so not only was she this little angel to the public, she was also her parent’s little miracle baby ! lets just say she had some big shoes to fill bc of all the expectations ..

luckily no one had to worry abt her being a demon child JSBDJWDWJ because she turned out to be a very sweet kid ! she was a HUGE daydreamer since she spent a lot of time alone growing up </3 her mom had retired from singing and was now helping theo’s dad run the label, and the two of them were always busy looking for new talent to sign. she didn’t have any siblings and although she had a really attentive nanny it just .. wasn’t the same ?? so to #Cope JSBDWBSBDJW theo was always creating these super elaborate little fantasy worlds. it wasn’t uncommon for u to find her deeply engrossed playing barbies alone like she had scripts and everything 

by the time she was a preteen her parents were both really pressuring theo into thinking about a singing career, so wanting to please them ( and knowing that it was something she was kinda into anyway ) theo said ok sure ! and that’s where.....things start to take a turn. since she was so young she had this very very clean, innocent, cute image ( think disney stars ) & most of the music she was making was used for kids shows or movies. she didn’t really mind it so much but she noticed that her creative process wasn’t really valued ? or taken very seriously by her parents, because in their eyes like that’s their kid you know she’s still young, she’s always had her head in the clouds, they just really didn’t think it was a big deal if they took control. 

so theo put up with it, but the years kept going by, she kept getting older, and nothing was really changing. she still had a squeaky clean image, little say in the type of music she was making, but on the outside everything looked great. the public loved her, she was a role model for kids ( even though she was a teenager now ), it was all perfect.....until it wasn’t. when she was 16, she had a scandal akin to the vanessa hudgen’s nude photo leak, except it wasn’t as explicit ( not a nude, just a suggestive pic ) and it was way way worse considering theo was a minor. 

legal action was immediately taken by her parents, but once something’s out there you can’t really stop it from circulating, so the photos existed, just not on any official media sites. it was traumatizing for theo having her privacy breached like that, especially because instead of talking about how disgusting it was that someone would leak those photos when she was just a teen, gossip sites & fans alike were too busy talking about how her image was ruined. since she’d had such a clean, innocent reputation, people kinda forgot that... she was an actual person going through life growing up, and that she wasn’t perfect. 

theo, being the optimist she is, was like hey you know what? this is my chance to stop making music i dont love. after what was probably her first truly honest convo with her parents, they agreed she should be free to figure herself and her art out. so for the remainder of her teenage years theo fell off the face of the music world....

only to pop back up in the modeling one ! like most celebrities, social media had a big say in this. since reputation wasn’t something theo had going for her anymore, what she did have was a hell of a following still and two famous parents ( not to mention ... shes tall JSBDJWBDWJ ) she did maybe one runway show before deciding she hated that. tbh she hated any modeling that felt too constricting, which is why she never ended up doing anything for big names & mostly does stuff for foreign brands & magazines. 

she liked how much aesthetics had to do with modeling, and to some extent being a part of shoots satisfied that creative itch she had, but music was always her first love. theo really wanted to go back and revisit it, but she was scared the public’s reaction wouldn’t be what she hoped /: 

so following in her mother’s footsteps, theo’s re entrance into the music scene was an ep ( 100% written, produced, edited, you name it, by her ) she released on the eve of her 18th bday basically explaining everything she went through with art. it was only four songs + an interlude, which would become the most talked about part of the whole thing because it was snippets of various reporters talking about that photo leak.

the public had mixed feelings ! unlike with what happened with her parents, not everyone was ready to “forgive” theo. and since she hadn’t done any promo for her music, or for her career as an artist independent from her parent’s famous label, it wasn’t like she was making crazy money and getting all this recognition. but !! she was insanely insanely happy, and that’s when she realized making music wasn’t something she did for other people, just something she liked to share, so what did it really matter if she could be more famous if she was an artist under her parent’s label ? 

cue present day theo, model & singer, although the labels are pretty loose. although her music is getting way more recognition than it did three years ago, she’s still trying to do things independently from her parents, and she still has yet to become a chanel ambassador or anything crazy SDWBKWKFW. because of that she’s kind of garnered this new reputation for herself as one of those celebs that don’t really feel like celebs, like maybe she’s just like u except let’s be real she’s rich and her experiences are NOT universal even if her cute insta pic talking about ~her feelings~ in the caption makes u think they are

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     PERSONALITY + TIDBITS !

not even gonna lie to u guys....she is baby. i dont mean that in a uwu shes 20 but im gonna weirdly make her act like a child way im not a freak shes just baby ! like i mentioned earlier theo was a HUGE daydreamer growing up, and tbh she still is except now that’s she’s older her overactive imagination can kinda get her into trouble. a good example of that is the fact that since she’s so keen to see the silver linings in life and the bright sides, she can neglect the bad sides of people and situations so things still fit into her romanticized vision /: this was the cause for many heartbreaks in theo’s life, and she’s still guilty of doing this although she’s trying to work on it !

very much the kind of person to treat everyone like a friend ( that means strangers too ) until you prove you should be treated otherwise. it takes a lot for her to not fuck with you, so if she doesn’t like you then you probably did something to deserve it /: she’s always had a curious personality as well so it’s really easy for her to connect with people just because she’s constantly fascinated by what she doesn’t know about a person. sometimes it can make ppl uncomfortable just how casually she can have a deep convo, but she just never had that filter where she has to know you for 5 years before she opens up about her trauma </3 you know how when bp’s rose and red velvet’s joy had dinner for the first time rose made joy cry bc she was talking abt her family and stuff ? JSDBWBDW theo is rose ... she’s out there sharing trauma deepening that bond day 1 of knowing you baby !  🤧

despite all that she’s still kind of maintained this elusive air to her? it’s not like she does it on purpose, or like no one knows the real her, it’s more like just when you’ve learned one new thing about her you realize there’s that many more things you don’t know. it also doesn’t help the fact that she’s constantly romanticizing everything, most of all herself, so she’s really crafted this “dream girl” persona without fully realizing it. im not exaggerating when i say john green wants what she has </3 

a lot of times people see her as naive, not because she often sees the good in people or anything like that ( although she does ), but because she has this overwhelming sureness that everything works out in the end. to be fair though, for her, things usually do. call it good karma, luck, whatever you want, but the fact of the matter is even when it looks like there’s no way a situation can turn out well for her, somehow it does. it’s a healthy combination of money, privilege, and a charming personality but to theo it’s proof that she’s right.

naturally.....as an air sign JSBDJWBJWBD she’s a huge flirt ! the media’s always linking her to someone because she really makes it seem like she’s dating half of hollywood when the reality is she’s just being friendly. when she actually likes someone it kind of turns into a huge deal like she gets infatuated with her crushes, swears she’s in love — and then poof. one day she wakes up & realizes she’s kinda over it ... until the next person comes along of course <3

hates conflict and confrontation.....and i mean HATES it to the point where she doesn’t even confront stuff within herself ( i.e. “negative” feelings like sadness ) until one day it all bubbles over and she’s having a legit breakdown and dying her hair red. 

yes, that’s exactly what happened last year, although if you ask theo about it she’ll just be like aha what do you mean i just wanted red hair luv x 

pictures like these ( click ! ) of theo when she'd be walking around LA in her school uniform used to go viral on twitter. 

desperately wishes she was the type of singer ppl would throw their bras at on stage when the reality is she’s out there making some chill bedroom pop kind of stuff so rip that dream </33333 

knows how to play the piano and the guitar, but keeps joking one day she’s gonna make an album and only use her recorder as the instrumentals.

has a white british longhair kitty named zoe.

is 100% that bitch that can only drink sweet drinks & fruity cocktails and u know what she’s valid for it ! 

if she wasn’t famous she’d be making slime. legit running a slime making insta, those were her guilty pleasure & shes so mad they aren’t that popular anymore JSBDJWBDJW

u know that post that’s like “i hate making tea i always feel so bad about throwing away the tea bag i feel like i should just eat it” ? thats theo 

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     WANTED CONNECTIONS !

BEST FRIENDS: a power duo the public either loves or hates, ride or dies, that 1 person theo would drop everything for no matter what.....yeah 🥺 they’d be the person she’s closest to & vice versa !   

CHILDHOOD / FAMILY FRIENDS: their famous parents were friends, so it’s only natural they wanted their kids to be friends too. just imagine the stories ..... the memories .... maybe they got along really well and are still friends today ! or maybe theo pushed your muse off of the swings ( she claims it was an accident ) and your muse never forgot and to this day they’re sworn enemies.....</3 or less dramatic......they just drifted apart and now it’s like hey we used to be so close aha thats awkward let me just smile at you and walk away ....

LIKE SIBLINGS: someone who sees theo as a sister, and who theo considers her unofficial sibling. most likely she’s gonna bother the shit out of this person as siblings do but they really mean a lot to her because it’s the family she never had /: 

CONFIDANTS: the one person theo keeps finding herself talking about the things she usally keeps inside with. i think it’d be funny if both of them find it weird to do things like go out to lunch or shop together because that’s not what they’re used to !

ACQUAINTANCES: friends who are only really friends when both of them are wasted or friends who only comment heart eye emojis and fire sign emojis under each others insta posts but don’t actually talk much for whatever reason

FRIENDS THAT DATED: maybe things just ended amiably between them, or maybe it’s like an “everyone told us we should date so we tried it and boy was that the weirdest thing we ever did” situation. either way the outcome is they’e still friends <3

CAHOOTS: what is this u may ask ? someone theo can be in cahoots with. she has a dumb idea that no one else is likely to say yes to? she goes to ur muse. ur muse has an idea no one in their right mind would say yes to? they go to theo. these two are in cahoots !  

BAD INFLUENCE: although that america’s sweetheart reputation is gone, overall theo is still seen as a “good girl” by the public. she’s not one to be in a lot of scandals so i think it’d be really fun if your muse is corrupting that ( whether they’re doing it on purpose or not ) and whenever theo’s with them she just somehow always manages to end up in trouble. 

THE BIG EX: theo’s first real relationship, and first real heartbreak. everyone before them had been an infatuation, but your muse was the real deal. maybe the media ruined it, or they ruined it themselves by being too scared of their feelings to stick around, or maybe one of them was willing to try but the other wasn’t. either way it ended badly, and whether those feelings are resolved or not....thats a secret i’ll never tell x

SUMMER FLINGS: give me past & current ( or maybe even recurring ) summer flings where they both know it’s temporary but boy is it fun while it lasts. google their names together and you’ll find paparazzi snapshots on the backs of vespas, on million dollar yachts, holding hands in museums or sunbathing on the beach but by the time fall comes creeping in the romance is over. 

HOOKUPS: friends with benefits and it’s not awkward between them, friends with benefits and it’s super weird between them because they may be crossing over into real feeling territory, one night stands / hookups that were huge mistakes, one night stands or hookups that were or are being kept secret from the rest of the roses for whatever reason, someone who leads theo on but never gets serious about her, or someone she leads on but she never gets serious about, her go-to hookup on a night out when she’s partying, etc. 

WILL THEY WON’T THEY: a friendship that always teeters on the line of something romantic ! maybe they’re both oblivious to the chemistry / tension or maybe they’re aware of it because they get jealous when they hear about the other being with someone else… maybe they refuse to do anything about it because they don’t want to complicate things or maybe they purposefully cross lines when they feel that jealousy…..could be more angsty or it could be more wholesome depending on which way it goes 😈

ARTIST TO ARTIST: i don’t think .... we have any other singers / ppl in the music industry but i could for sure be wrong JSBDSJBDJWD but ! i still would love to have people theo’s worked with before. maybe if your muses has been acting since they were little, theo could have mingled with them back when she was doing music for kids shows & movies. maybe your muse is a model and theo and them have done shoots together before. maybe theo’s written a current song for a movie / tv show your muse was a part of. maybe your muse is a model and theo asked them to feature on the cover of one of her albums. maybe she hired your muse to act in the music video of one of her songs ! maybe your muse can also sing even though that’s not their main thing and theo’s asked them to feature on a song with her. there are soooo many possibilities that could be lots of fun <33

MISC: “we used to party together all the time until that one thing happen that neither of us talk about and now we don’t do that anymore”, someone who took care of drunk theo once and ever since then she’s taken that as an open invitation to knock on your muse’s door at 3 am completely wasted, “we tried to date but the paparazzi caught us on a date and we were too scared / sick of the public eye so we never got far”, flirty friends who say no i’d never sleep with you haha…unless you’re down?, your muse was theo’s first time OR theo was your muse’s first time, stereotypical happy go lucky and grumpy relationship where the grumpy muse pretends not to enjoy the other’s presence, enemies but it can’t be anything petty it would have to be pretty serious so if u want that drama.... 

that’s the end i promise it’s finally over 😭😭😭 i truly just ramble & ramble im really so sorry abt that JSDJWBDJWBDJWBDJW i tried to include as much info as possible to make plotting a little easier for all of us so lets pray this works </3 u can come message me on discord to plot @ seulgi ily ʕ´• ᴥ•̥`ʔ#8172 so give this a like if u wanna .... do that ahahahaha x 

[euphvriiia]

hiii  ,  babes  !!  the  name  is  mar  and  i’m  so  excited  to  be  here  .  i’ve  been  eyeing  the  rp  since  a  long  time  ago  so  i’m  happy  that  i  finally  got  to  apply  !!  i’m  not  exactly  good  at  talking  about  myself  ,  so  let’s  talk  about  my  kids  instead  .

☕ . ˚ ◝  (  park jimin. cismale. he/him. ) honey cha is a twenty-four year old scorpio. the baker’s go-to order is vanilla latte with almond milk. they like to listen to i like me better by lauv while they wait for their order. the employees of the deja brew think they are stubborn but swear they’re totally affectionate as well. maybe that’s why fuzzy socks and oversized sweaters, rain gently pattering against your window as you try to fall asleep, a first kiss that takes your breath away, & smiling until your cheeks hurt remind me of them. 

trigger  warnings  :  mentions  of  an  illness  ,  death  of  a  parent  !!

to be the oldest in a family of four is not easy task, not when your father is barely home and your mother died a long time ago. before getting to the sad part of the story, let’s travel back to the past, when he was was just a child and all the worry hasn’t been put on his shoulders just yet. honey cha was born when the cherry trees were in full blooming season. as the white blossoms fell over seoul, ahreum cha was laying on the hospital bed, holding a small bundle of joy in her arms, tears streaming down her face. the baby was the son she always wanted to have and even jaehyun, who wanted a girl so badly, was crying tears of joy at the sight of his wife and newborn son. when honey was four, his sisters were brought into the world. two identical girls who will grow up to be both a pain in honey’s ass and also his pride and joy. a year later, the family would pack their things and leave korea. the reason why they left and why they chose california is unknown to honey even today. all he remembers from back then was him being barely five, his twin sisters crying in their mother’s arms and their father packing everything. honey grew up beautiful. he was a clever kid and gentle as one could be, always looking up for others, even at such a small age. he liked to take care of his sisters and also to spend time with his mother in their little garden, tending to the flowers ( or well, just helping the woman by bringing her different objects, since he was still too young to understand everything that needed to be done there ). and of course, there was the dancing. honey loved dancing. he would spend his free time learning about it and trying to copy moves he'd see on tv. and, as a present for his 9th birthday, his parents sent him to dance classes.

the heartbreak and sadness hit the cha family later on, when honey was already 10. pregnant with a forth child, a boy this time, ahreum’s body slowly started to grow weaker from a heart illness, illness that honey would not find about until later. despite the doctors telling her that keeping the baby meant pretty much giving up her life, ahreum didn’t want to listen. she cared so much for her children, even for one that put her life in danger. so she went on with the pregnancy and while the baby was born healthy, the mother didn’t survive. it was a shock for the family, especially for their father. anyone who knew the chas, also knew how much jaehyun loved his wife, how she was the light of his eyes and how their love story dated from when they both were still too young to understand what love is. so to cope with his loss, and also because he couldn’t stand to look at his youngest son, jaehyun cha drowned his sorrow in work, turning his back to his children. the same children ahreum cha loved more than her life. honey had to say goodbye to his childhood. with a father that was never there and three younger siblings, he gave up the toys and took something else in return: the role of a parent. that meant his own grieving was put behind, buried deep inside his soul. because he couldn’t just stop going to school, the only way to make sure he’d have time to take care of everyone’s needs was to stop going to the dance classes. as his feelings, his dancing was another thing he tucked away, holding onto the memory only. yet, despite giving up so much just, he never regretted that. to see his siblings happy and doing what they loved was more than enough for him. he even went as far as deciding to stop going to school after highschool, but his sisters spent a lot of time trying to convince him otherwise. that’s how honey managed to get a scholarship for college and now, he's currently majoring in dance.

SHORT  INFO  :

he  got  a  job  at  deja  brew  around  a  few  months  ago  ,  but  he  was  a  client  before  that  ,  so  he  knows  everyone  .

he’s  very  bubbly  and  affectionate  ,  but  also  can  be  a  teasing  little  shit

think  of  him  like  the  mother  of  the  group  .  after  raising  three  kids  on  his  back  ,,,  pretty  much  lmao  ,,,  it’s  hard  for  him  to  act  like  a  young  adult  and  not  a  mother  chick

[emilierivers]

【MUSE 71】━━ is that CHLOE LUKASIAK? no, that’s just EMILIE RIVERS, the 17 year old FEMALE who is a HIGH SCHOOL JUNIOR. some say they’re INSECURE AND NAIVE, but their family and friends will swear they’re KIND HEARTED AND FORGIVING. when i think of them, i think of STUFFED ANIMALS, HEARTS DOODLED ON NOTEBOOKS, DISNEY PRINCESSES, FAIRY TALES. i wonder if their family know that SHE is hiding that SHE WATCHED SOMEONE AT A PARTY OVERDOSE AND HAS HAD PANIC ATTACKS SINCE THEN. – ( BEE && MST && SHE/HER )

ok wow i had no idea i was gonna pick up another character so soon but im already in love w this rp so i had to bring my angel child emilie who by the way is literally the polar opposite from brinley

shes basically the embodiment of everything soft and pure and cute and innocent

shes 17 and has never said a swear word, never had alcohol, never done anything that the general public would consider ‘bad’

she has the worlds biggest heart okay

her entire purpose in life is to basically help people and if you let her start helping you she will not stop until youre like 111% happy w everything in ur life

shes hates seeing anyone sad???? seeing other people makes her sad and she doesnt really cope w being any emotion other than happy well

if shes practically any emotion other than happy, she just breaks down and starts sobbing and she kinda hates that she cries at everything

shes ridiculously insecure and thats a big reason she tries to make everyone else happy

emilie places her entire self worth into what other people think of her which is why she wants to be a nice person who makes people happy bc then people will think good things about her and then she doesnt feel like the worst person on the earth

shes very overly excited about a lot of things too???? she doesnt need a lot to be happy at all you could give her a pink piece of paper and just tell her that it reminded you of her and shes gonna cherish it forever and be happy for weeks on end

she doesnt truly believe that theres evil in the world like she purposely doesnt watch the news or try to pay attention to anything that would be evil

she just really believes that people are inherently good and cant wrap her head around the idea of people being anything other than good

shes super naive and that plays a big part into why she doesnt believe in evil shit

also shes so easily manipulated???? literally believes anything u tell her

but her naivety and innocent lil heart and how she believes everyone is good truly makes for such an awful combination of her being set up to get her whole world shattered around her

shes also dumb when it comes to forgiving people??? you could literally do the meanest thing ever to her and shes gonna forgive you because she doesnt believe in holding grudges

listen her thinking all people are good just really fucks her up

she truly loves anyone and everyone and definitely believes in love at first sight

shes gets crushes super fast??? like shes one of those girls where if someone holds the door open for her shes like wow thank u i want to marry you now

listen emilies happiest life moment ever was when she told someone her middle name was belle and they said ‘oh like the princess? thats so fitting for you’ she cried okay but also when doesnt she cry

she loves her family so much and even if her siblings are more wild than her she still loves them so much

and she doesnt even really have anything against her step siblings either she thought it was rad that she got a bunch of new siblings

DRUGS TW, DEATH TW

uhhh so listen,,, homegirls life kinda got sucky not that long ago????

emilie does not go to parties ok they scare her

she doesnt like the loud music and shes never had a sip of alcohol and she just does not fit the party scene at all

but somehow one of her friends talked her into going to a party over summer and her friend said she didnt wanna go alone and emilie being a literal angel was like well ok

so they went to the party and after roughly a hour someone starts screaming to call 911

emilie runs out to investigate whats going on and basically someone had overdosed on whatever drug was big that night and was dying pretty much

but like,,,, the whole thing was really not Great and it was messy and even people who were party people were getting freaked out and then you have emilie who has never seen something like this and shes full on freaking out and doesnt know what to do

her friend saw that she was panicking and they left and went back to emilies house and her friend stayed with her because emilie was crying and shaking and she was so scared

and ever since that night shes had really bad panic attacks and nightmares and theyre so scary to her and she doesnt know how to make them stop and its kinda really fucking her up

and wow that was messy af and i know im leaving out a lot of her growing up shit i tried okay intros are hard ,,, but basically what u need to know is that emilie is an angel child and i love her but anways !!! i have a few connection ideas but like i said w brinley, give me drama and ill love u forever !!!!!

people she tries to help????

people shes a good influence on ????

someone who’s a bad influence on her????

uhhhh maybe some of fifty thousand crushes ?????

my brain is fried and i cant think of anything else but just give me drama or not give me some happy shit too just plot w my baby ok !!!!

[justlvckyviral-archive]

Hey all, so it’s Alex again this time bring you my little angry chihuahua Lucky. It’s been a hot minute since I last wrote him and I’ve made a couple of changes to make him fit the RP’s premise better so I’m still trying to work out a few of the new details. He’s kind of the worst and I hate him already but he’s also one of my all time favourite muses to write so please come love him. Also if you’re looking for angst, look no further since he’s basically a vessel for all of those plots. As always like this post if you want to plot or anything and I’ll come bother you, or just pop up in my IMs or on Discord!

「 LEE MINHYUK, CISMALE, 26, BRING ME THE HORIZON 」┈ did you read that latest viral gossip issue on JIHUN ‘LUCKY’ PARK?  he is the LEAD GUITARIST/BACKING VOCALIST in DAYBREAKER, one of my favorite ALTERNATIVE ROCK groups. they’ve been releasing music for EIGHT YEARS now, but viral gossip has only been talking about them for the last THREE YEARS. get this, i think i heard HE ANONYMOUSLY LEAKS STORIES (INCLUDING OCCASIONAL FAKES) ABOUT HIMSELF TO THE MEDIA IN ORDER TO KEEP HIS BAND RELEVANT. they’re known as the FIREBRAND of the music industry, since they have a rep for being  LOYAL but QUICK TEMPERED, but who knows. maybe that will change once they become #1. 

TW: Alcohol, Addiction, Traffic Accident, Loss of Limb

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

I’ve accidentally written a small novel again, so I’m going to split it down into four key sections. Personality, Personal History, Career History and Other. I’ll also just throw a tl;dr at the top because good grief is this a lot. His plots page is here if anyone is interested, so if something catches your eye please come shout at me!

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

tl;dr

Kind of antisocial guitarist in a metalcore turned alt-rock band. Raised in the UK. Punk af. Really short fuse that gets him into a lot of trouble. Sees the music industry as a game and knows how to play. Every move and response is calculated. Plays up to the media perception of him as some sort of villain. Doesn’t really trust people, especially if they’re famous. Super jaded, super bitter, super cynical. Rich parents who were never around. developed a drinking problem after being signed. Involved in a serious traffic accident shortly after third albums release that led to the loss of his left leg. parents paid to bury the story. relocated to america and checked himself into a rehab clinic. first album was a flop. second and third better. fourth blew them up. really doesn’t like where the sound is heading for five, but feels like he owes his band mates so is sticking it out. has a three piece side project that is highly political (27club VC: The Fever 333).

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

PERSONALITY:

Firstly, and most importantly, Luck doesn’t like you. Lucky has never liked you, and he probably never will. He might respect you, or even be kind of neutral towards you, but never more than that.

There are very few exceptions to that rule, with the main ones being his bandmates and his siblings.

Has some serious self loathing that he’d never actually admit to.

Lucky considers himself a punk, an activist and a musician. In that order.

Has been describes as a journalist’s wet dream and a lawyers nightmare.

Values authenticity above all else. Both his and other peoples. Despises people who are fake (lol irony) and hates it eve more when other people call him fake.

Calling him a sell out or anything along those lines is probably not a good idea.

His first instinct is that people are only trying to get close to him to take advantage of his success and popularity. Probably because he does exactly the same thing to everyone else.

Loyal to a fault. If by some miracle you make it into his inner circle he’d actually take a bullet for you. He’ll always have your back.

The fact that he is so short tempered causes him so many problems? It doesn’t take much to light the fuse, and when he explodes things tend to get messy.

Which means that a lot of people are kind of scared off? And the ones that aren’t are just as volatile as him.

Absolutely no filter. Lucky will tell you exactly what he’s thinking or what he means with no regards for the consequences or your feelings.

Voted most likely to start a fistfight over something dumb five years in a row. Still holds the title.

Comes across as kind of frosty and callous even when he’s trying not to.

Has a serious problem with people taking advantage of others.

He is painted as kind of a villain type character in the media? But like, the villain you love to hate. I don’t know what the international equivalent is, but I’m thinking sort of like Trent Reznor in the 90s?  Kind of plays up to that trope, but he pretty much fits the label without trying.

Does not know what a healthy relationship looks like. Platonic, romantic, even familial: there’s always a catch.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

PERSONAL HISTORY:

Brace yourself for this because my boy has not had a smooth ride.

Jihun was born is Daegu, South Korea but moved to the UK (Specifically Sheffield) before he was old enough to start retaining memories. 

The second eldest child of two property tycoons with more time and concern for their business than their family, he was never close to his parents.

Childhood wasn’t exactly unhappy. His grades were decent enough to get by and having seven siblings meant that he was never without company. Despite hiring staff to watch over them, Lucky kind of grew up fast and felt a sort of almost parental responsibilty

As time went on and their parents became more and more distant from him and his siblings, he slowly grew to resent them.

By the time he reached his teenage years, Jihun began to see exactly how his parents did business. Shady backroom deals. Questionable partners. Bullying or bribing their way out of any trouble. 

They weren’t exactly good people.

He’d become increasingly jaded, bitter and cynical beyond his years and isolated himself from the few friends he had outside of the family.

He was convinced that they were only trying to get close to him because of his family’s money: After seeing how corrupt his parents were he’d lost a lot of faith in most people.

It was around this time that he also discovered his love of punk rock.

The scene in Sheffield was pretty small, but he instantly connected with the anti-establishment values and aesthetics. He threw himself in head first.

It didn’t take long for him to teach himself guitar (Four chords and the truth) and form the band that would go on to become Daybreaker. [See: Career History]

Though things started off well enough. They played shows, eventually got signed to a new small imprint of Universal and began releasing material.

Over the course of several years however, Lucky got himself involved in some pretty serious stuff. What started as casual drink quickly transformed into a cru to help deal with his new found fame. He developed a serious problem with alcohol.

Between the pressures of effectively raising his family, maintaining a career as a full time musician and trying to fit into a scene that was, he now realise, extremely toxic, he struggled to cope.

The sheer catharsis of punk rock had proved to be an effective coping mechanism, but for Lucky it had already reached its limits and so he sought solace elsewhere.

It reached a point where he was having his stomach pumped on a regular basis.

The turning point came one night in November 2014. Lucky was considerably over the blood-alcohol limit, and shouldn’t have been walking let alone driving.

And yet he found himself behind the wheel of their tour van with a member of their road crew in the passenger seat.

They were involved in a serious collision: a head-on crash with an oncoming truck. Frankly neither of them should have survived, but the passenger escaped with a few broken bones.

Jihun wasn’t quite so fortunate. As well as several broken ribs and a skull fracture, his left leg had to be amputated below the knee. With the aid of a prosthetic was eventually able to walk again, but it was the hardest period of his life.

He didn’t talk to anyone for the first three weeks of his recovery. Just sat there expressionless. 

When he’d first come around after the surgery and he was informed of what had happened he was told that he was lucky to be alive, let alone that he would be able to walk again. It was a them that kept resurfacing throughout the recovery process and one that has stuck with him ever since Hence why he goes by Lucky.

Once he was back in the world, something began to bother him. There had been no coverage of the accident despite him being a relatively prominent public figure.

As it turns out, that was his parents doing. They’d paid to get the story buried as well as any and all charges that could have been levelled against him. 

They would later claim that this was for the benefit of his career, but Lucky remained fairly certain it was to keep their names away from the bad press.

Since then his relationship with them has been complicated. He still doesn’t approve of their methods, but they also potentially saved his career. And could ruin it at any moment.

Needless to say it proved quite the sobering experience. Lucky knew that he needed to get clean, and so checked himself into a rehab clinic in LA. This was probably the second most difficult period of his life.

He completed the program and decided to relocate to America permanently. Hollywood was probably not the best place for him, but it was a damn sight better than Sheffield.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

CAREER HISTORY:

And now that all the trauma and angst is out of the way, lets talk about angry music.

Lucky’s first band, RedBtn, were awful. I mean truly terrible. Sure they were only 14 at the time, but the bassist could barely play and the vocalist couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket.

Needless to say they were not together for very long. It was long enough to spark a passion for performance in Lucky, and two years later he went on to form the group later known as Daybreaker.

They were marginally better. Gathering a small following in their hometown, their scrappy, rough around the edges take on metalcore was heavier than most other bands on the market.

Something else that set them aside was their aesthetics. It made them almost like black sheep of the scene. They looked too polished to be accepted by the hardcore kids, but sounded far too aggressive for a more mainstream audience.

This was a pattern that would continue until late into their career. 

Someone saw something in them though, and it didn’t take long before they were signed to  a small imprint of Universal.

Despite having some devoted fans, including Lucky), their first record (A proxy of Count Your Blessings) was almost universally panned. It was a Christmas miracle that they weren't immediately dropped.

By the time the second album (A proxy of Suicide Season) came around they were widely regarded as posers and dismissed by the rock community at large.

It was around this time that Lucky realized that the music industry was one big game, and in order to get anywhere they’d need to learn how to play.

From that moment on every action and potential response was calculated with a ruthless efficiency.

Every friendship, relationship, public appearance, quote, photograph. Everything was optimized to increase their presence and make them more visible.

And so Lucky decided that the best way to get more eyes on them was to cause controversy. As the defacto spokesperson he started showing a more confrontational side to the press, calling out critics and fans alike.

He would leak stories about himself anonymously.

Eventually he would take this characterization t the extreme. He has been pictured in physical altercations as well as the subject of a defamation suit all to keep their brand relevant.

The media began to paint them as villains: a band turning on their own scene with no regard for their peers or their fanbase.

He’d taken complete control of the narrative, and they were eating out of the palm of his hand.

It tended to divide people. You either loved Lucky, or you hated him.

It definitely worked though. The album received (Admittedly still muted) praise and secured their future for at least one ore album cycle.

It was during the production of their third album (A proxy  for the one with the stupidly long title) that Lucky went through his dark phase. The rest of the band remained mostly sober whilst he struggled.

He doesn’t remember much of the recording process and doesn’t really know the songs. If they ever slip one into the setlist, he has to go back and re learn it.

This was also the point in time where his relationship with the press began to sour. Whereas he had previously tried to pull attention towards him, at this point he hated the invasiveness.

They began reporting that he may have had a problem, and he furiously denied it, going so far as to issue take down notices and cease and desist orders.

Of course it only served to boost their infamy, and the album was their first to be widely lauded. They were on their way to major league success.

And then, one night in the middle of a November UK tour, the accident happened.

The tour was cancelled due to a ‘family emergency’ and the band went into a media blackout. Despite his insistence that they simply replace him and carry on, they waited until he had recovered before emerging into the spotlight once more.

After Lucky decided to permanently relocate to the US he was sure that, as much as he’d valued his time with the band, their time together was over. Imagine his shock then, when some of them decided to follow him.

Shortly after completing rehab, Lucky locked himself away in the studio, working on what would later be dubbed the crown jewel of their discography (A proxy for Sempiternal). The album detailed a lot of his struggles in a very coded way.

With lost time to make up for, Lucky returned to the character of the music industry’s cartoon super villain. He once again began leaking stories about himself to the press anonymously, fabricating many of the details.

There were certain topics that remained off limits. The accident. His addiction. His stint in rehab. Anything and everything else was fair game.

The record relaunched them into public consciousness in a bigger way than ever before.

Currently the band are at work on their fifth album (A proxy of That’s The Spirit) which is shaping up to become an even more commercial sounding album.

Lucky isn’t entirely on board. In fact he hates it, and considers it to be selling out their core values. But at the same time, he feels an obligation to see it out. 

His bandmates had risked their careers and stuck their necks on the line for him: who was he to throw that away because a guitar tone isn’t distorted enough

Because of this, Lucky decided to put together a side project. A supergroup of sorts (Although if he were to hear you call it that he’d seriously kick off.). A three piece punk rock band, 27club are a super high energy, extremely political group combining straight up hardcore with rap influences (VC: The Fever 333) [SIDEBAR: If y’all haven’t listened to letlive or The Fever 333 and you like rock music you're missing out. Jason Butler is the best singer of this generation Change my mind.]

Daybreaker will always take priority, but this gives him an outlet for angrier music, as well as a place to air his political leanings outside of interviews.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

OTHER:

Strong sense of social justice and regularly exercises that. Has a tendency of taking his activism a step too far.

Considers himself bisexual, but has never officially labelled it. Has been in public ‘relationships’ with both male and female partners

Has a boat load of tattoo, including the straight edge x’s on the backs of his hands

Vegan.

Rides a motorcycle which he loves more than he would his first born child.

Has three dogs. Two Pomeranians named Rollins and MacKaye, and a Boxer named Atticus

[najikasun]

1. Professor Layton | 2. RanLay | 3. Grillby :^)))

001 | Fandom:  PROFESSOR LAYTON

Favorite character:  My favorite character in the Layton series is always hard to decide on…but I think at the moment, it’s gotta be Professor Layton himself.  He’s a wonderful person with such a kind and genuinely caring personality, he’s great with kids (always a plus with me lol), and he’s willing to do a lot for his loved ones.

Least Favorite character:  My least favorite character is probably Rosetta from Unwound Future - I mean no offense to anyone who does really like her!  She has a cute design and I totally understand going after the professor (he’s a cutie), but she does so in such a provocative way, and I’m…not really into that, haha.  I would’ve said Bill Hawks, but I kind of love to hate him, and doesn’t that count for something?

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon):  My 5 favorite ships are Randall x Hershel, Hershel x Claire, Randall x Henry, Anton x Sophia, and Luke x Nettie! (@annekmt123‘s Layton OC - we used to RP Professor Layton and I fell in love with this ship, lolllll)

Character I find most attractive:  I think Randall is pretty good looking, ngl.  He’s got lots of traits that I find real attractive in pretty much every fictional man I love lol

Character I would marry:  I’d marry Flora tbh but only with permission and ONLY IF SHE IS OLD ENOUGH TO DO SO

Character I would be best friends with:  I would want to be best friends with Luke!!

A random thought:  I feel like Luke’s parents didn’t get enough screentime…I love Clark and Brenda and would like to see them more

An unpopular opinion:  I headcanon Hershel as asexual and panromantic!

My canon OTP:  Hershel x Claire, they were one of the first ships in my Half-Dead OTP Club.

Non-canon OTP:  Hershel x Randall!!  Jeez I love them and I want to write fics about them…if only I had time

Most badass character:  EMMY ALTAVA (and Groski)

Pairing I am not a fan of:  Hershel x Emmy (Sorry guys, I’m just not that into the hypersexual way they tend to be portrayed by the fanbase…)

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another):  Flora, I want her to have more screentime!!  Please let her have a cool adventure!!!  And please don’t leave her behind anymore!!!!

Favourite friendship:  Layton and Luke!  Their friendship transcends words.

002 | Ship:  RANLAY

When or if I started shipping it:  I started shipping it once I heard about Miracle Mask - I shipped Hershel and Descole back then (We didn’t know they were brothers yet, sue me), and I was under the impression that Randall WAS Descole.  So by default, I shipped them.  Then, I wound up shipping them because of the events of MIracle Mask, because I am WEAK for teenage hijinks.

My thoughts:  They probably taught each other how to kiss like big dumb dorks I love them so hecking much

What makes me happy about them:  Randall is that one friend who you can’t decide if you love or hate them, but Hershel always winds up loving whatever stunts Randall pulls and continues coming back to him for more adventures.  It’s also one of those “popular kid in school hangs out with unpopular new kid” situations and I am once again, super weak for these tropes.

What makes me sad about them:  The ending of Miracle Mask, when Hershel kind of got fourth-wheeled

Things done in fanfic that annoys me:  Can we not have underage sex scenes please

Things I look for in fanfic:  I look for fics that have a high school theme tied in.  I just…really like school fics ;;;;

My kinks:  Uhhhhhhhhh I’m just gonna write here that I think they tried messing around with some alcohol on a rooftop during high school,  but Hershel wasn’t into it and Randall sobered right up and they just snuggled for the night and vowed not to talk about it the next morning when they were hungover

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:  I would be comfortable with Hershel ending up with Claire, and Randall ending up with Angela.  I mean, the latter happened in canon, didn’t it?  And the former almost did ;; v ;;

My happily ever after for them:  My happily ever after for them would be for them to go their separate ways and eventually reunite and have old feelings rekindled………

003 | Character:  GRILLBY

How I feel about this character:  MMMMMM BOI HE IS MY FIRE HUSBAND 100/10

All the people I ship romantically with this character:  Pretty much just Sans for this one.  **coughs awkwardly and maybe MTT but that’s more of a crackship

My non-romantic OTP for this character:  Grillby and Fuku!  I picture them as being close enough to be siblings, but unrelated.  Fuku is more like a close cousin who also helps him cope with PTSD and panic episodes.

My unpopular opinion about this character:  His first name is Kindle, last name is Grillby.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:  I WISH HE HAD MORE THAN ONE LINE

My OTP:  SANS X GRILLBY I HAVE AN ENTIRE SIDEBLOG DEDICATED TO THEM

My OT3:  S’mores ship!!  (Grillby x Sans x Toriel)

[legolasgoldy]

cocoa, cinnamon, harvest, orchard :)

// Eee Thank you!! :D @i-dream-of-oceans //

cocoa - if you could have any type of hair, what colour and cut would you have?

Ooo well if you had asked me a year ago i’d say long reddish mermaid hair but i have that now! :D I kinda wish it would was a tinge bit more red but red dye is tricky XD So I have super long hair down to my my thighs thats a rose gold, so when outside it looks like a very rosey/strawberry/copper type color, but when inside theres something about fake lighting that makes it looks plain blonde. and I sort of have bangs, not short ones but they end at my jaw and curl a bit, thats what i always wanted so did it! :D

cinnamon - if you had to live in a time period different than the present, which would you choose and where?

OHHH

harvest - what fictional character do you most identify with? Why?

I actually was talking about this with a friend like the day before yesterday, but i think its Finrod. And of course, no two people are the same but i do feel like thats why I can write him so easily is because I do feel like I identify with how he feels at times.  I’ll try and explain without getting into too much depressing detail haha. And of course some things are from my own canon about him and how I see him but i’ll try and be more book oriented.

Hes just this sweet blonde who sees the world in the best light, he sees every detail and wonderment of the world and constantly wants to see more. Music is apart of him, it makes him so happy deep within his soul. His passion for it is so strong. Even stronger is his love for his friends and family, completely and utterly loyal. Above all else, he has immense faith in the good of the world, truly living up to the name Finrod the Faithful.

No matter what happens, he always finds that faith again. After the burning of the ships, the helcaraxe, everything. He discovers Men and sees right away how wonderful they are and he learns everything about them and wants to protect them.

Its only after his heart is broken one too many times that his faith begins to wane. After the first kinslaying, burning of the ships, and the helcaraxe he eventually did cope and gained faith that things would be better, and that he could make things better. He saw the world in full, how much new wonderment to explore, so many new things to do. So he built Nargothrond and made a wondrous place for his people to live, and he had not only made them a home, but himself a new home as well. He actually had a small while of peace while Morgoth was silent. His relationship with most of his feanorian cousins were mended, he had a home, he had people he could help and serve, his siblings were safe.  But..when this peace came to an end things got harder.  Losing his brothers was the worst blow to his heart, and one person after another he loved it seemed was gone, the world just went to heck.

In a way I feel as if in the end he felt so helpless.. bullied.. and grief stricken. Everything he had somewhat made better was gone and he began to realize no matter what he did and how many people he helped,  evil always won. And there in the dungeons of the isle of werewolves, he was broken down. He thought it was his fault for not trying hard enough, surely there was something else he could have done, how could he have been such a fool as to lead everyone here? He should have found a better way. His friends are dead because of him, his kingdom had turned against him. Thats what he thought, that he was to blame.

Somehow.. his faith came back whilst chained next to Beren on that last day, and he realized, yes he did make the decisions he did, and he owns up to that. But, what could they do against such hate? From the very start Morgoth plotted against them for no reason other than hate, for power, spite. The Noldor had been poked and prodded into their fate, Feanor being driven to paranoia and grief so far he gives in and acts on. Everything after has been like a domino effect, one hurt after another and when they finally find peace and the dominos stop.. the dark lords gladly pushed them down again to keep the cycle going. Why? To be amused? Spite?  They are evil and hurt good wonderful people and hurt the world simply because they can. Because they dont care. All they care about is getting what they want.

Finrod decides that this isnt how it should be, the dark lords have no right to do this to them. No right at all. Hes sick of it, sick of being hurt and when the wolf comes for Beren, he just snaps. He wont let them hurt those he loves again, they may think they can but he refuses. He wont, let it happen. So overwhelmed with anger and grief he does prevent his friend from being killed.

All of these things i feel very deeply, seeing the world for the good, having faith and being kind to others is what gets me through life no matter what bad things i come across. And I love ppl so much ;-; the bad people of the world are irrelevant, the good people are amazinggg. And I know exactly whats its like to be bullied and lose faith, but ultimately snap and refuse to stand for it any longer.

Sorry that was long XD

orchard - share one thing that you’d like to happen this autumn.

Well like i said in my other ask, what i want most is for my friends to be happy and safe mostly

But lol i’d like to get my rp replies done X’D and i’d like for my cars to finally get fixed, they keep acting up and getting one problem after the next haha

[transrph]

                                       Writing a Trans Character                                As Experienced by a Trans Man

With more resources coming out for trans faceclaims, I wanted to make sure that there were also more guides on how to write a trans character. So I’m going to be sharing my personal experience with gender as a toolset for those that haven’t/aren’t questioning their identity. Please keep in mind that this is entirely based off of my personal experience and growth, and that every trans person has their own journey with their own experiences. None are invalid and all are equally as important. This also wound up turning into more of a gender study as well, so feel free to share and message about your thoughts. I’d love to have gender discussions!

Part one    |    Part Two    |     Part Three 

Part Four Coming Out

This is something that so many youth struggle with, even me at 24 had no idea how to come out and it wasn’t the best experience, however it wasn’t the worst. No matter what kind of experience it is, no one should take away the bravery or the strength it takes to tackle this obstacle. And everyone deserves to feel proud of themselves for it.

To start, I want to say that some people don’t come out to family for safety reasons. And because I am an advocate of keeping the community safe (especially mentally as many people use rp as a way to cope and escape from the world) I beg anyone reading this not to use coming out as a reason for some abuse thread. For a characters backstory sure, because the plot can then revolve around the recovery. However as a thread where it is being currently written is something that many people have already faced, and do not need to see, even if it is to a fictional character. Many times it is the description that causes trauma to resurface and I would hate for anyone to be forced to face that again. So please, keep any abuse stories left as backstories.

As far as the actual act, this is another thing entirely up to you as the writer. I won’t go into my experience as much because it was rather dull and unimportant. I will say though, that not all parents that claim to be accepting will actually show acceptance. There are not the only two extremes in someone accepting or not accepting. A parent could say they are fine with their child being trans, but then never use their proper pronouns (note they are not preferred, they are proper). Or they dead name them (the act of using someone’s birthname rather than the name they have chosen for themselves). There are various things a family member or friend can do that will cause mental harm to their child/pal. Just like there are various things they can do to help. I’ll be splitting this up into two to keep the two things separate. I am going to write this a bit differently, for the sake of those writing a trans character but also writing with a trans character because I feel it’s very important.

First the bad.

As I said before, deadnaming is a possibility. It can be a very invalidating thing to hear. For me, when I hear someone use my dead name I visibly cringe. It has never felt like my name, and so many people I have met have said I never looked like it fit me. Deadnaming is harmful in that it can make someone question themselves, but also make that voice in their head saying no one will accept them and they should give up all the louder, which can worsen depression and lead to possible suicide.

Improper pronoun use can be linked with the above for all the same reasons. It’s a constant reminder and a constant invalidation. It can make someone feel like you aren’t seeing them. Not the true them. And so they start to feel invisible. Proper pronoun use is important to show someone that you see the them that they see in themselves.

Claiming it is a phase. The person being told this knows better than anyone what they feel. But as mentioned in part two, there is the constant questioning of themselves. So when told this, it’s hard to quiet the voice that is saying we aren’t sure, or that we can’t be because our experience doesn’t match someone else’s.

Calling someone a special snowflake. We already think we’re just trying to get attention, and most times when people question this, it isn’t fake. When you question whether or not you’re doing something for the sake of attention, that shows an awareness and admittance. How many people do you know admit they are doing something for attention? So questioning it is a sure sign that you in fact are not looking for attention. However, when people claim this, it’s hard to prove them wrong. Especially if you’ve been struggling with your gender for only a short period of time.

Denying them as a friend/partner/family member. Making them feel like they aren’t good enough or worthy. The amount of courage this takes is something cis straight people will not get in their life, so to say that you can’t be friends with someone or date them right after they come out is very harmful. I’m not saying people that are dating are forced to stay together, it’s the immediate reaction that would be harmful. A calm talk afterwards is fine and all can be discussed. As far as friendships, if you write your character no longer being friends because of this, congrats, your character is transphobic. As far as family goes, rejecting a child or sibling breaks a level of trust that person could have for any if not all deep rooted relationships. It sets an example that even people that you’ve known since birth can betray you and hate you for being yourself. And that fear and resentment can bleed into other areas of their lives as well.

Using their past identity as punishment. I’ve already gone over the deadnaming, however I have experienced a parent using my dead name as a punishment. If they felt I was speaking out against them, or if I did something they didn’t like, they would use my dead name as a punishment. As a way to cause me pain because they could see how much it bothered me. This is in a way an emotionally violent attack as, for me, it triggered a great deal of dysphoria and trust issues.

I feel those are good key points though certainly not all of them. But for the sake of length I want to move on.

The good:

Unconditional support. When a character comes out, to see unconditional support is the biggest relief. In reality you can see people’s eyes light up. It is always a relief to say that you accomplished facing something truly terrifying and it turned out well.

Proper name and pronoun use. For the exact opposite reasons above. Incredible validation in hearing these used. It also helps to fight away questioning thoughts and anxiety/depression when someone else is using your name and pronouns.Even slip ups where someone corrects themselves is better than ignoring the mistake at all.

Correcting people for them. It’s another way of support, and also proving to us that you have our backs no matter what. Sometimes having to correct someone is embarrassing, and sometimes it can be a hassle, so to see someone else sort of take over for us without speaking over us or outing us on accident is incredible.

Going to the bathroom with them. An odd thing to think about but when you’re faced with the choice and not sure whether you pass enough or not, this can be very validating and helpful. It truly is a terrifying experience. For example, I had one time when using the restroom, I wpas followed in and a man stood outside the one stall waiting, then used the urinal, washed his hands, and got very close to the stall door. All fine and normal, until he washed his hands a second time, and then came close to the door. And then washed his hands a third and stood again. I can’t know for sure what his intent was, but he eventually left the restroom. Meanwhile I had my phone out ready to call my manager (because this was at my place of work) to escort me out of the bathroom.

Again for lengths sake I want to stop this here, but you can get a good idea of what support is and what it isn’t. I will add, for those writing with a trans character, that making their transition about your character is not how you should write out the plot. Their transition affects some people outside of themselves, yes. But it affects them the most.

The last list I want to make is how your character can come out, because there are many ways.

Writing a letter/email

Sitting people down

Recording a video

Hinting with talk of other trans people

Facebook statuses

Phone Calls

Text Messages

Cards

Get creative. If your character is afraid to face the people they are coming out to, think of how they would best want to go about it. Informatively? Creatively? Nervously? Boldly? This is entirely up to who they are as people and their personal values. Where you take their experience past that is entirely your own, but again I beg that you do so as a backstory and not write this out through a thread if it involves any sort of abuse.

Prompt Version

What fears did your character have before coming out? Who where they most afraid to come out to? Why? What did they question about themselves before coming out? How did they come out? What were their expectations of coming out? What was the reaction from family of them coming out? What was the reaction of friends?

[thistleandthorn-rpg]

Congrats Cas on your third character, Summer Evans! Please send us her blog within the next 48 hours!

Name/Alias: Cas Preferred pronoun: She/Her Age: 24 Timezone/Country: MST RP Experience: Hella Activity Level: 6-8/10 Depending on the week

IC INFORMATION:

Name: Summer Rose Evans Designation: Switch Age: 22 Faceclaim: Lili Reinhart Birthday: May 4th Orientation: Pansexual Kinks: Still exploring Anti-Kinks: incest, age play, pet play, gore, vomit, piss play, scat, blood

BIO:

TW: Abuse, death, miscarriage, crime

Summer was overall a good kid. She maintained good grades, she was polite, caring, compassionate. She had those qualities that seemed innate to all the Evanses. So it was quite a shock when she hit her teenage years and things seemed to take a wrong turn. Of course, it’s natural for a kid to act out after losing a sibling as tragically as she did. She wasn’t equipped at age 13 to deal with that level of grief, so who could blame her for beginning to act out? And then they lost their house, all their possessions, and everything that had shaped Summer into the person she is was gone. In one of the shelters they stayed in one night, Summer met another homeless teen, Jason, and he took her under his wing. He even started at her school that year, his new foster home being in that district. They became fast friends and he taught her loads of cool things, like how to pick a lock, or how to hide small items in her pockets or up her sleeve without being caught… He was an obviously dominant personality, and she often found herself fantasizing about submitting to him. She was infatuated, and despite the fact that he taught her things like how to steal and how to cut class, she never saw him as a bad person. She was 15 when her fantasy came true, and he dommed her for the first time. The whole deal, sex included. She was in heaven. He continued to Dom her, using his influence to manipulate her into things she wouldn’t normally do. By the time she was 16, she was an expert pickpocket and shoplifter, and never once had she been caught. Meanwhile, Jason was such a charismatic and charming guy that her family suspected nothing. He was her first love and instrumental in helping Summer cope with everything, that’s what they saw in him. Through it all though, Jason never wanted to label himself as her boyfriend, or her Dom, or anything like that, despite Summer crushing hard enough to fall in love with him, despite the number of times she’d submitted to him or had sex with him, he would still only be her friend. So she thought maybe if she looked prettier, like the other girls in school, maybe then he’d let her be his. So in her first attempt at shoplifting alone, she took some make-up. She was a little overzealous, and careless, and didn’t realize she’d taken an item that had a security device on it. The alarms blared as she left the store and she was caught.

The whole truth came out, that night. How Jason had taught her this behaviour and how she was trying to impress him. Her parents were frustratingly understanding, though severely disappointed. She couldn’t look any of her family in the eye for a long time after that. She wasn’t allowed to see Jason anymore, and she missed him terribly. That made her feel more guilty because she knew, by that point, that Jason was a terrible influence in her life.

Things started to get better after Sam’s job got them a new rental house, and Summer had spent a lot of time getting back onto the right path. She’d been sentenced to 100 hours of community service for her crime, and she was grateful the court was lenient for a first offense by a minor. After high school she decided to stay home and volunteer with the church for a while, but several months into it she was reconnected with a familiar face. A face that charmed his way back into her life, all the way to a claiming institute in Kentucky where she was almost ready to wear his collar, because he’d changed and so had she and they were better people now with better morals and Summer honestly believed that right up until his drinking habit became less of a habit and more of a default state. He would become physically abusive at times, though never enough to raise suspicion of the superiors at their institute. The tipping point came when a pregnancy test came back positive and she found herself scared to tell him. That was a sure sign, she realized, that she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life with him. But what was she to do now that she was carrying his child? She kept it secret for weeks, trying to figure it all out.

And then she miscarried after he was particularly rough during a scene, and after calling Sam in tears, telling him about everything from the drinking to the shortlived pregnancy to the abuse he begged her to transfer. So she did, and this time she swore she’d never let Jason into her life again.

BIO QUESTIONS:

What is your biggest fear and why?

I’ve already had to face my biggest fear… well, one of them. I don’t think it’s healthy for a person to have only one. I guess if I had to pick… well, I’d really prefer for Jason not to find me again.

What 3 objects/places mean the most to you and why?

The campground in Leitchfield where we spent a lot of the summer while we were homeless. We made a lot of happy memories there, as a family, despite our situation.

On a piece of paper, inside a locket I keep hidden, is an inkprint of our pet squirrel’s paw I took before he died. I only thought to take one, so I keep it hidden because my siblings would all want one too and they don’t know I have it.

This one requires some context…  but one time Sam found my notebook filled with Avengers fanfiction I wrote. I was mortified, but he thought I was really good, so he managed to find some extra money on one of his paychecks from “the dairy queen” to buy a cheap, secondhand laptop off some kid at school so that I could start posting my fanfics online. I still have that laptop, and it still runs, and I still write on it. Though I’ve been doing more original stuff lately.

Who is the one person you’d most like to meet (dead or alive)?

My unborn child… ha. Or I don’t know, Stephen King?

What is the one moment you would describe as your happiest/most excited?

The day we moved into our new place after three years of living out of tents, motels, and shelters. Having a bed to call my own, and seeing Dad get back to work and mom having a kitchen to cook in again… that was a good feeling.