#you tried; kissai; you tried

[chaoticspacefam]

*spotting a Jedi in a crowd*

Kissai (Sith Warrior): Violence isn't the answer.

D'leah (Sith Heiress), suspiciously calm: You’re right.

Kissai: *sighs in relief*

D'eah: Violence is the question.

Kissai: What?

D'leah, bolting away: And the answer is yes.

Kissai, running after her: NO-

[hothian-snow]

On the Colonization of the Sith Pureblood, and Sith Magic

I'm just reading through the SWTOR lore entries and on the entry for the Sith Pureblood:

"The Sith species was discovered three thousand years ago on Korriban by exiled human Dark Jedi fleeing Republic space after their defeat in a war called the Second Great Schism. The Dark Jedi quickly enslaved the primitive culture, and over many generations, the two groups intermingled [...]  For a brief time, Sith blood was seen as a sign of weakness–but the modern Empire believes purity of heritage carries the strength of the Force."

As a POC, I definitely feel like the Sith Pureblood are POC-coded. To speak in real world terms, they were colonized by the Dark Jedi. Ajunta Pall, the first Dark Lord of the Sith, was a Dark Jedi. The concept of Sith as we know it was started by a Dark Jedi. Look at the Valley of the Dark Lords: how many of the Sith there were ethnically Sith rather than just Dark Jedi who 'fell' into Sithdom? Freedon Nadd was a Jedi progidy 'seduced by the dark side'. Exar Kun was a Jedi Knight who fell.

I suppose we still have Naga Sadow, Marka Ragnos and Tulak Hord though.

The Sith code is an inversion of the Jedi Code, which makes sense as the first 'Sith' were Dark Jedi. But what did the Sith Pureblood believed pre-colonization? How much of their societal values and beliefs were warped by the views of the Dark Jedi?

Hell, even Sith sorcery feels iffy to me. Ajunta Pall was worshiped as a god by the Kissai, a "subspecies of the ancient Sith race that was enslaved by the exiled Dark Jedi on Korriban." More importantly, the "Kissai were the priest class in the Sith caste system, where the Kissai would study the nature of the dark side of the Force and practice ancient Sith magic and alchemy." The pioneers of Sith sorcery worships a Dark Jedi as a god- I don't doubt their magic and the philosophy behind said arcane practices were influenced by the teachings Ajunta Pall taught them. After all, Ajunta Pall was their god, and they were the sorcerer-priests.

As someone who is intrigued by historical, real-world magic, this reminds me of the difference between folk magic and ceremonial magic. Sith sorcery, as we know it, is very ceremonial (once you go beyond the lightning-shooting stage). Think of the elaborate ritual Zash tried to do to our in-game characters. Darth Thanaton boasts about studying 'rituals you can't even imagine'. Fancy ceremonies and rituals seems to be the mainstream form of Sith magic depicted in the current setting.

Compare it to something like Force-walking which deals with ghosts, with the binding and contracting of the deceased. Force-walking does not require elaborate preparations, only measured words, mental strength and a few drops of blood to seal the pact. It feels much more primal, more raw than whatever rituals Zash and Thanaton was boasting about. This is not to say Sith sorcery is bad though. Sorzus Syn, a Dark Jedi who became the infamous Sith sorceress, is known for her three Great Amulets and also for her skills in Sith alchemy. Her mastery of the the ancient Sith ritual of Dwomutsiqsa, of conjuring dreambeasts known as Smoke Demons is also something I find fascinating.

But I could not help but wonder... a lot of POC traditions are oral traditions. Knowledge of folk magic passed down through words, through family- lineage which the Dark Jedi may have broken during the times when anything to do with Sith blood and Sith traditions was considered an undesirable weakness. Knowledge passed down through dreams are also a thing in certain magical traditions.

In the real world, the Ancient Greeks had their dream incubations, certain traditional witches have their oneiric sabbaths, and personally, in my own Thai culture, there are those who receive medicinal recipes from ghosts in their dreams and uses that knowledge to help heal others. Witches who have spirits whispering in their ears. Witches who wanders the graveyards and calls upon the shades of the dead to glean lore and prophecy. Witches who captures the stars and draws down the moon and bleeds the heavenly bodies for power to fuel their magic.

Give me Sith magic, y'all. Not the Sith sorcery pioneered by the Dark Jedi, but the old magic that is rooted in the stones and sands of Korriban, magic as taught by ghosts through dreams and visions, maleficia that borderlines on witchcraft.

[forcefuried-a]

some notes on harry potter verse—

anakin is a member of the skywalker family, a powerful pureblood family that stretches back generations. however, his mother, shmi, is a squib, and the other members of his family are dicks so she has had to suffer from that all her life.

anakin does not have a biological father, as he was created by the dark wizard sheev palpatine, who was the current president of MACUSA and was going to use his position to rule wizarding america as an absolute dictator. shmi went to him in desperation when he said he would experiment on her to see if he could give her magic. instead he used her for all sorts of other weirdass experiments, including one where he impregnated her using magic alone. so technically in that way palpatine was his dad, but biologically he is not; if anakin took a DNA test it would just show his mom’s 50% DNA and the other half is a big unidentified ???????

he was also like, an opposite harry potter, there was a prophecy about him being the one who would lead palpatine to dominion over the united states. after learning this, sheev killed shmi so he could have baby anakin all to himself and raise him solely in dark magic to ensure that the prophecy would come true……joke’s on him, though, because the prophecy conveniently forgot to mention that anakin would eventually be his downfall.

ani didn’t go to ilvermorny. palpatine put him in a school for the dark arts, so basically like, an edgy hogwarts. don’t tell me those schools don’t exist, because they totally do. this school--the american chapter of the bogan institute, named for bogan, its founder and the first dark wizard and also the name of the dark side of the force in star wars canon--was literally evil hogwarts all the way down to the sorting system. there were four castes, one each based on the different paths to corruption that people might face in their lives: 

massassi, or those guided by emotions--those who study dark magic because they want to fulfill an emotional need, such as unleashing their anger on the world. name is taken from the star wars sith language word for the warrior caste; accordingly, HP verse massassi are known to be the most violent.

zuguruk, or those guided by knowledge--those who study dark magic because of the truths it reveals. name is taken from the sith language word for the engineer caste; accordingly, HP verse zuguruk are known to be the most inventive and knowledgeable about the arcane arts.

kissai, or those guided by purpose--those who study dark magic as a means to a greater end. name is taken from the sith language word for the priest caste; accordingly, HP verse kissai are known to be the most idealistic.

siqsa, or those guided by power--those who study dark magic for its own sake and just like the rush of power that it gives them. name is sith for the word “demon”; accordingly, HP verse siqsai are often the most frightening and inhuman in their search for power.

anakin was stalled between massassi and kissai before finally choosing kissai, purpose. his purpose was as it was in star wars canon: to stop those he loved from dying.

anakin is the school’s most powerful student, a prodigy who excelled his peers not only in his raw magical skill but also in the anger and hatred he possessed--nobody could have imagined that later he would have turned good. though most students graduate at age 17, he managed to attain all the basics in half that time, graduating his basic classes midway through his third year there and moving on to the equivalent of university studies. 

shit happens, i don’t know exactly what, but he is still young when he helps palpatine stage a hostile takeover and turn MACUSA into a dictatorship. he does not have his canon vader mask and suit (because let’s face it that feels so out of place in the HP world), but he does have a black mask and suit of some sort that hides his identity and gives him a different voice. he fights like an adult many times his age, especially with wandless and nonverbal magic. and since he’s also quite tall underneath the suit and mask, nobody has any idea that palpatine’s enforcer, a man who goes only by the name of “vader,” is actually just a 16-year-old boy.

when he is 20 years old he meets padmé amidala, a young witch of the same age whose father was a senator in MACUSA and who was a double agent working for the resistance against palpatine. through working with her as both anakin and vader he falls in love with her, feeling love for the first time in his life ever since he felt it for the mother he never got to know. she is revealed to be a double agent, and anakin is tasked with killing her, but instead, he lets her go--saving both her and their unborn children. he takes off his mask and confesses his love, and she is shocked that the man she loved was the man she had hated all along. she replies that she can never love him after everything he’s done, but she acknowledges that he must still have some good in him if he let her go--and she becomes determined to bring out his goodness.

palpatine finds out about this and he is INFURIATED. but anakin had chosen his path--he couldn’t put this into words, but love is a more powerful motivator than anger and hate. it is at this point that he turns away from palpatine’s so-called “american empire” for his lover and his children. he resolves that even if he can never have her back, and even if she never lets him see their kids, he won’t let them be hunted by palpatine for the rest of their lives. palpatine meets his end when he captures a pregnant padmé and has her brought in front of anakin to be publicly executed--he demands that anakin kill her in order to remove the weakness in his heart. however, the emperor miscalculated. instead of firing the killing curse at her, anakin pointed his wand upward and tried to avada kedavra palpatine instead. he ducks the curse, but is killed in the resulting duel.

anakin’s actions earn back her love, but the two of them are only reunited briefly before padmé dies in childbirth. the last thing she does is touch his cheek and whisper, “i knew…i knew there was still good in you…” before closing her eyes.

right now he is?? not doing great like………he was raised all his life to be evil, only recently came out of that, lost the love of his life……not to mention he was a single dad at 22 and he has no idea what to do with kids because he never had a childhood. he does somewhat better in any timeline where padmé lives, but overall he is just hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh about everything because he was basically a child soldier, people, everything weighs on him and everything hurts. i guess the good news here is that some people are sympathetic to him once they’ve realized that he’s basically been groomed all his life to be an agent of evil and he was literally a minor when he did a lot of the nasty shit that palpatine had him do--so he doesn’t lack for support.

after completing his rehabilitation he becomes an auror working for MACUSA. he also has a muggle robotics hobby on the side, he’s always been an inventor even while he was in school. he’s really fascinated with cybernetics and wants to make a wizarding equivalent. 

and some vital stats—

wand: yew and dragon heartstring, 10.5”, flexible

animagus form: wolf—i picked this one for him because wolves are often associated with evil, yet they are also canines, which means that they can also be associated with good qualities such as loyalty, bravery and strength.

patronus: formerly a wolf, but changed to a swan after he fell in love with padmé.

hogwarts house (granted to him honorifically): gryffindor. most people expected slytherin due to his past, but when he was sorted it wasn’t even a contest, the hat yelled gryffindor even before it touched his head.

ilvermorny house (granted to him honorifically): wampus—the house of warriors.

[ryder-s-block]

Jaig Eyes (Ch 41)

Jaig Eyes (41/?)

Summary:

Kida, a former slave who now thrives as a bounty hunter, finds herself sucked into the war she advised Jango Fett against. Now that she's involved, she has to finally mourn the loss of Jango, seeing his face in the clones that man the GAR. What happens when she allows herself to get attached to one, not for his resemblance to her former mentor, but for his heart?

--------------------------------

Chapter Forty-One: Lineage and Legacy

“Good, my apprentice,” Darth Bane drawled from where he floated in the dark as I whirled through the movements he’d taught me. He sent tendrils of shadow towards me--enemies he conjured with the Force--all of which I took down easily with the staff that doubled as my training saber. I took the liberty of adding in a few of my own improvised moves, trying to be sporadic and unpredictable as a true master of Juyo could do. While Bane made no sign of approval, he didn’t scold me for my change either. 

It was its own form of praise, in a way.

Finally, the onslaught of shadowy figures stopped, my master allowing my a moment to breathe. The pseudo-saber dipped down to hang at my side, my breathing coming in hard, tired pants. Despite having been training under his tutelage for months, Bane never failed to push me to my limits in our sessions.

In the last month or so, he’d been even more persistent. He forced me to use my abilities along with my fighting more and more. Forced me to enter dangerous places on Korriban--booby-trapped tombs and nests of terrible creatures. To travel the uninhabitable terrain and survive for days.

In the end, my hatred for him grew by the day. And with it, my power did as well. 

Still, whenever I would leave his presence, the rage would fade to a low burn. The things he told me about the jedi, which I often believed fervently in training, would stop making sense. I’d tried to take King Adas’ advice and find Yilria, but she seemed to be avoiding me. As my abilities in the Force grew, I could feel her watching me, but could never summon her.

It was like she was waiting for something.

In my searches for her and with the help of the sith abattar, I’d found other specters. Pompous Kissai, dressed in elegant robes with upturned noses. They scowled at me and cursed me in their native tongue, calling me a mix of names from half-breed to trespasser. Had they been alive, I may have feared their power and the dark forces they commanded. But they were dead...stuck on the planet they once called their home. I had no reason to fear them.

I knew I didn’t need to fear them due to my running into some Missassi spirits--the warriors of the Sith species. They were huge and lumbering, with ridges on their heads. Their eyes glowed yellow with no sign of pupils or irises. Their spirits had tried to attack me, but had only passed through. Still, I did my best to avoid them. They were unnerving at the very least.

I’d been able to speak with Adas more. He seemed to enjoy telling me stories about the old Sith ways, as well as what I could do, were I the sith’ari. I did my best to deter him from that possible fate when we spoke, though.

While I didn’t tell Bane about my communication with the dead, I knew he could feel the conflict within me. Adas spoke of a society with a rigid caste system dependent on race. He talked about warfare and the glory of battle. It made me wonder if I was really meant to be doing what I was doing. Sure, Bane was teaching me about the Force. But his teachings were dark. Deadly. And they turned me against the people I once loved. 

I would recognize these truths when I would leave my training, only for me to fall into Bane’s grasp the following morning like a creature deprived of water. I yearned for how powerful he made me feel. 

And that scared me.

“You’re distracted today, apprentice,” Bane commented, floating before me with his hands folded behind his back. I glanced up at him from my kneeling position where I rested, resigning myself to a small nod.

“My apologies, master. My mind has been racing. With your training, I sense so much more.”

“Yes,” he hummed, regarding me. “Have you felt the ancient power rising?” I lifted my brow at him, clearly indicating that I had not. “One day you will be tapped into the Dark Side in the manner that I am. I have felt a new power in the darkness rise...as well as an old one returning.”

“An old...Sith?”

“He was an apprentice once. The one who stood in Dooku’s place before him.”

My breath hitched. I’d remembered the stories about the Sith Obi-wan had supposedly killed on Naboo back when the Clone Wars began. Shortly after Jango died. “Maul?” I asked, unsure. “He was killed. Split in two.”

“Yes,” Bane allowed with a low chuckle. “But anger and hatred fuel the Dark Side of the Force. He kept himself alive. And I foresee he will rise with a new apprentice.”

“What about the rule of two?” I interrupted. “There is already a master and an apprentice.”

“And so they will be dealt with.” I looked up at my master with a twinge of fear.

“By the Sith Lord?”

“By you.”

I blanched. “Master, I am not ready. I haven’t even--”

“Silence. What I foresee is the future and has yet to come to pass. Though the apprentice rises even as we speak.”

“How can an apprentice rise without his master?”

“How indeed,” Bane hummed, obviously pleased with my thought. He liked that he felt that I couldn’t rise to power without him. I felt my anger grow at that. He felt it too. “Your hatred for me grows by the day, apprentice.”

I looked away. “I am grateful for your teachings,” I said through my teeth, donning the placid face I perfected as a slave.

“Don’t try to trick me,” my master demanded, the room darkening with his power. “I see your thoughts. I sense your feelings. You’ve grown to hate me. Were I alive, you’d wish me dead.”

I hesitated to respond. It was true. When I was in his presence, I was alway overcome with rage and aggression. Had he been alive...would I have already tried to kill him?

The spirit of Darth Bane waved his hand dismissively. “This is often the ways of the Sith. Your anger towards me will push you to one day surpass my power. So long as you keep control of your rage, lest the Dark will consume you.”

“Yes, my master.” 

I watched in silence, my heart rate finally returning to normal after my training, as the dark lord drifted over his stone sarcophagus. He outstretched his armored fingers towards the lightsaber that rested there.

“Take up your destined blade, apprentice.”

I started, my eyes slowly lifting my gaze to the glowing yellow eyes of my master. He didn’t move or say any more, waiting rather patiently for me to move. Finally, I overcame my shock and hesitation and rose from the floor to approach the sarcophagus. As it had before, the kyber crystal inside called to me.

Sad. Alone. Broken. 

My fingers wrapped around the hilt as I lifted it from the sarcophagus. My abilities had grown since the last time I held it. Bane had spent months training and honing my power. And the kyber crystal, even in its shattered and bleeding state, could feel the power. It yearned for it. Craved it. 

My thumb pressed the activator, the red blade coming forth and illuminating the tomb. It practically vibrated with power. Still, within the anger...I felt the loneliness of the crystal. It was broken and it longed to be whole. 

I ignored it in my master’s presence, swinging the blade experimentally. It was light, but heavy with power. I did a few moves Bane had taught me. I felt powerful. Good.

“Your blade suits you well, apprentice. It is bonding with your Force abilities well.” I bowed my head in response, disengaging the lightsaber as I bowed. “Go. Take your weapon with you and use it should you need to. Train on your own and then return to me when you feel you are ready to advance your skills further.”

“Yes, my master.”

***********

The fresher on my shuttle was starting to run low, I realized as I glanced at the wall panels through the water. I made a mental note to make another trip off-world to restock on supplies. Since Bane didn’t need food or anything to survive, considering he’s dead... I had to make regular trips off world for myself only. Thankfully, I still had credits coming in from my club on Coruscant, so I could actually pay to refuel. 

Of course, the closest trading location was Florrum, so that meant I’d have to deal with Hondo every time. The first time, he’d tried to capture me for the bounty on my head, which I apparently had from both Dooku and from the Jedi.

He didn’t succeed, of course.

And he had yet to try again, since my threats were still rather fresh on his mind. 

I stepped out of the steaming fresher, thankful for the floral soaps I’d managed to pawn off of Hondo for a few spare kyber crystals I’d found on Korriban. They were synthetic sith crystals and wouldn’t do the job his client needed...but he didn’t seem to care so long as he got paid and wouldn’t have to cross paths with any jedi.

“Tu zinot zo meistras, mazo zras zo grotthu.” 

I whirled at the familiar voice of Yilria, covering myself with the towel I’d been using to dry my growing hair. I wanted to yell at her for surprising me, but I didn’t want to frighten her off either. Every time I’d tried to find her in the past, she’d avoided me. I wasn’t going to let this opportunity pass.

I moved past her slowly to scoop up and don the heavy Sith amulet, the power radiating through my chest. After taking a moment to steady myself, I wrapped the towel better around my frame and eyed the Kissai female. “I’ve been trying to reach out to you for months,” I said gently, but not trying to hide my frustration. “Why now?”

She looked me up and down slowly. “I see your master has allowed you to keep the lightsaber.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” I mused as I wandered over to my wardrobe, drawing out a fresh pair of clothes. My lightsaber rested on top of it. 

I could sense the woman’s anger at my words. “You’ve allowed him to control and give something that which was already yours to possess!”

I started at that, but my mind smoothed over it easily. “He’s my master, I reasoned. My teacher. I wasn’t ready to wield it until now.” I turned away from her, pulling on my clothes slowly.

“You’ve used one before, have you not?”

“And I almost got myself killed,” I growled in return, feeling the influence Bane has had over me for months. The Kissai pursed her lips at me, but said no more. I could feel her disappointment, though. I sighed slowly, forcing myself to calm down. “Why didn’t you tell me you were my ancestor before?”

She looked my up and down again before turning to walk out of my shuttle. “Because you were not ready. And you still are not.”

“Wait!” I called, struggling to pull my boots on as I stumbled after her into the cooling night of Korriban. “What am I not ready for?”

She whirled at the end of my gangway, glaring at me. “The truth.”

“Why wouldn’t I be ready for it? That’s what I’m searching for here. You could have told me the truth when I first got here. It would have saved me a lot of time!”

“I needed to know if you were worthy, but I see that you are not,” she hissed at me. “You came looking for answers and accepted the first you found. You are a slave.”

My fists clenched as I stalked down the gangway to stand face to face with her. “I am not. I was born a slave but escaped it and have made myself better for it. I’m becoming powerful. You were free and became a slave. You died a slave. Who’s the better between us?”

I expected to feel anger, but only felt sadness from her. “You, because you are blind. I was a slave. I was used and forced to carry a half-breed that I did not want.” I backpedaled on that. I knew she was my ancestor--the first to crossbreed, according to King Adas--but it hadn’t occurred to me that the mating may have been...forced. I shuddered at the thought.

Yilria continued, her voice sad. “But I knew I was a slave. I saw what I was. I wasn’t blind to the truth, nor revel in the newfound power of the Sith empire. I knew that the power was not my own, because I was not my own master. My slavery caused me to lose my way. As will yours.”

I took a step backwards before slowly sliding down and sitting at the top of my gangway. She watched me, her chest heaving as she panted in a mixture of anger and grief. “I’m sorry,” I whispered finally, feeling my own rage recede. “I never realized that…” I swallowed thickly. “I never realized that I…”

“That your Sith bloodline stems from a slave being taken by a master?”

I looked away, fighting tears in my eyes. They were for her. But I am ashamed to admit that they were also for me. “Have I ever not been a slave?” I said slowly. “I was born because of it. Born into it. And now you say I’m still one.” She watched me, but said nothing. “Who was the man?”

She seemed surprised by my question. “His name was Remulus. Remulus Dreypa. He was a jedi once, before falling to the Dark Side. He came with Sorzus Syn.”

“The woman in the tomb,” I surmised. “They were some of the first to enslave your people.” She nodded as I looked away again. “I thought your people were powerful Dark Siders. That you valued war and strength.”

“We did,” she allowed. “And we were eventually destroyed because of this belief.” She moved slowly, as if not to frighten me, to sit beside me. “While many Sith used the Dark, we were not consumed by it. Many of these fallen jedi found our abilities and turned them to a goal of revenge, rather than just power.”

I shook my head. “I still don’t understand. How are you upset with me for what I’m doing? I’m learning. I’m growing my power.”

“And you’re losing yourself in the process, dear girl.” I felt my anger begin to grow, but she calmed it with a gentle sweep of her hand across my cheek. It surprised me, since I had no idea she could actually make touch the physical world. Still, it was nice. Very few people in my life had ever touched me like that. Almost...motherly. 

The last had been Padme.

My heart ached at that thought.

“How do I not lose myself and still learn from Bane?”

“You don’t,” she concluded, making me frown. “When you first arrived here, I felt your grief. Your confusion. Your anger. You were lost on your path. You lost who you are.”

“I don’t know if I’ve ever known who I am,” I admitted slowly.

“Well you won’t find out from Bane,” she responded with a small smile.

“He thinks I might be the next sith’ari,” I said slowly. “Do you think--”

“No,” she cut me off, making my eyebrows raise. “The Sith...the true Sith...are gone. There’s no saving us anymore, so there is no sith’ari. Not as we believed it, anyway.”

“That’s…a relief,” I sighed.

To my surprise, Yilria chuckled. “I’m glad. You can find yourself, Kida. Find your purpose. You must push past the influence Bane has rooted within your mind. I sense your energies. Your conflict.” She looked away with pursed lips. “You may have Sith blood, but darkness is not where your heart lies.”

“I’m...sorry?” I offered, unsure of how to respond. 

“Don’t apologize,” she smiled at me gently. “You are not a Pureblood. Also...I don’t want any path forced on anyone. It is a truth we learned long ago in the most terrible of ways. I sense where your heart lies.”

“Where?”

“Not here,” she chuckled. “But not in the light either. The Jedi of your time are rigid and controlled. They encouraged peace, rather than passion, doing their best to eradicate emotion and attachment. They are the antithesis of the teachings of your new master.”

“I wouldn’t do well as a jedi,” I responded. “Even if I would, I’m not only too old, but they are hunting me.”

“They fear you for good reason. You have power, Kida. Power that they cannot control.” I glanced down at my hands. “This is why Bane seeks to control it. To make you become what the jedi fear you will be.”

“So I fit in neither?” I asked.

Yilria pursed her lips before looking out over the dark hills of Korriban. “Long before the Republic and Jedi Order that you know now, there was an order called the Je’daii. It was how the ones you know first began, but their teachings were...different. They observed that Ashla and Bogan--light and dark-- both had to exist in their world in order for it to survive. As it does in nature, so it should be within ourselves. They called this Bendu--a balance between light and dark.”

“How do you know about this?” I asked slowly.

“As I said, not all Sith allowed themselves to succumb to darkness. Others sought knowledge...which often brought balance.”

“So...I should pursue a balance? Who will teach me this?”

“None survive,” she allowed. “Though a certain jedi who has reached to you before often shared these beliefs.”

“Qui-Gon Jinn?”

Yilria nodded. “Your path does not lie on this planet, Kida. It lies out there,” she gestured to the star-lit sky. “With the people whose company you grieve so deeply.”

I looked down again. “I don’t think those people want me back.”

“Then make them see that they do. Do not throw yourself away to a new slave master.” She reached out her hand, my lightsaber flying through the air to meet it. I saw her flinch slightly as my kyber crystal cried out...and perhaps from the memory of Dreypa. She held it out to me with an open palm. “It is time you freed yourself from slavery.”

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Sith Translations:

Tu zinot zo meistras, mazo zras zo grotthu- You have a master, so are a slave

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Author’s Note: 

Thank you to everyone for your patience. I haven’t been good about posting and am trying to find time/inspiration when I can!

Happy Holidays!

-Ryder

[fluffynexu]

so i apologize for the wobbly quality of the pics. this is all from my copy of the Book of Sith and i tried to hold down pages with one hand while taking pics with my cellphone on the other.

anyway~

keep in mind that these entries were written from the perspective of Sorzus Syn. and i only have bits and pieces bc some of them were about weapons, beasties, alchemy, etc.

but here are some interesting things i found :)

syn admits to being def Not Sith, calls the native sith a “savage people”, and then goes onto appropriating their culture.

she thinks very highly of herself and her peers. being the so called “rightful ruler” and being so smart and curious enough to crack the sith code and all....

“Despite our obvious superior powers” hon....

“we were not hailed as gods when we arrived.” oh ya think???

then they go onto staging what is essentially a political revolution among what was presumably a stable, local government only to exploit the sith, their territory, and whatever resources they may have.

“Is is where we erected our own palaces to rule as Sith Lords.” so this is where i get the HC that the sith probs had a bunch of you know... ‘pagan art’ but these fucks came along and were like. “nah. you do us now.”

“The Sith respect power, and they are content to serve us.” .......is that really the truth or just what you tell yourself syn??

hunger, rage and dark side. got it. sith don’t or can’t experience any other feelings.

the whole bit about dreypa. he gonna conquer a native girl too? yeeesh. (lbh, he probs did... the asshole)

they basically turn the top sith caste, the kissai, into their personal lackies. (also imo, the whole left-handed god is kinda stupid but whatever)

again, we see language like PRIMITIVE here. but it’s ok. they’re mean so we can respect them!

TL;DR

the exiles were colonizers of korriban and the sith ppl and i feel like this is partly the reason why the sith purebloods are so xenophobic.

[k-wax]

Heir to a Broken Crown

The medical bay doors whirred open with Wax’s eyes. The sound reverberated through his hazy-half sleep to the hard red light of the ceiling. Alarm. When he moved to push himself up his muscles responded as though on delay. A grating in the distance grew louder.

His biceps tightened against the pillowy resistance of the bed, but his own weight had never been heavier. His breaths quickened as pain shot through the frontal mask of his face. Deep deep in the bones. He tried to loosen his jaw—

“Ah, he’s awake.”

--to alleviate the tight tension, but something stopped him from widening it. His hands grabbed his face and the claws scraped against the bandages. Captured? Invaded? Was the Eclipse fallen? He could feel his heart.

Farkle, they gave you bandages? Wax thought to himself. His inner voice strangely soft.

“Indeed, he is.” The harsh grating formed into chesty words.

The air plunged into a bitter cold. The red light across the ceiling stayed, then vanished like a lamp light being turned off. Wax spat blood. Not a hard decided spit. He rather pushed it out of his mouth and felt the coppery drool slide down his chin.

The Medbay. The Eclipse’s medbay. The familiarity of it rushed into existence. They hadn’t been under attack after all. Wax reached to rub the gooseflesh from his skin. Prior having been covered, it was now bit by a nip in the air outside the ancient bricked up stone. The relief of being jerked out of a too ready wakefulness didn’t come as Wax found himself cast into another place he was unfamiliar with.            The building was stone. He was laying on a hard wooden pallet. His long boney fingers splayed over it glowed white in the gloom, but the warm glow of his eyes that lit darkness was not present. Was he blinded?

As he thought it, the vision of his hands dimmed as though he’d called the affliction upon himself. He pushed against the sturdy wood. A pain made itself known in his face, and his breaths became more labored as they crossed his lips. A deep pulse in the adjoin of his nose to his eye socket, through the left side of his cheeks buried itself into his sinuses. Persistent, untenable. It didn’t relent, it didn’t fade. Kurt whimpered and shook from pain. Cold. The crushing sense that he might die here on this flimsy piece of wood. Alone. He needed to find his strength; he needed to move.

“It’s your birthday.”

The red light spanned across the ceiling. Dim. Familiar. His body heat fell back through him all at once. The warmth was overwhelming.

The medical bay hummed with machines. Something made a crisp technological click next to his head. Wax turned. His neck was unyielding and stiff, but a small blue holo display of the twenty-four hour Kaas clock warped in front of his eyes.

Blue was such a cold color. It was 16:24. The display fizzled.

“Sixth month. Fifteenth day.. The exact middle of the week.”

The display fizzed out. He blinked. Wasn’t that his holocuff held in leathered claws?

“Timely.”

Wax’s eyes traveled up the black casing of the chest the numbers had been held in front of. He’d mistaken it for some unsacred black wall. Which…in a sense, knowing who it belonged to, it was.

He stared at his father’s passive face and quivered as he dipped his head and a shot of pain ran across the top of his mouth. A phantom spark following down the left side of his face.

“Sithsday, correct? The child that never rested and only found woe.”

Wax flinched reflexively before he recalled that his father was only reiterating a child’s poem.

“That was a compliment as far as the poem went.”

An edge of consideration entered his father’s voice. Ah, here it was. The pensive front before the condemnation he was working up towards. Wax felt a strange effusion of kindship. Warmth. His father had come to see him after the battle. A proof of love.

Kurt had spent much of his childhood notating and scouting for proofs of love his father would occasionally drop. His tender affect for women and children had never been extended to his eldest son. His only son. Not overtly.

A sniff after a successful report. The quiet silences he polished his armor in. The graze of a hand as he passed the cloth to Kurt. The way he had once introduced his son at parties with that polite proud curve to his lips.

He had never come to the hospital wards. Not when Wax had broken his arm. Nor a leg after that. Not when he’d been there a week deathly ill as a child, nor when he sustained his first war wound as an adult. He was here.

Kurt extended a hand before he could take the simple motion back. Palm up and filed claws open. Wax watched his large open palm tremble and realized he was shaking under the thin sheet.

“Though you’ve found other ways to infect yourself with woe these—how old are you? Thirty…Five?” His Lord’s voice was stiff.

Wax closed the palm and sucked in an aching breath. The tube in his nose blew a steady supply of sterile air that chafed the inside of his nose. He focused there before the criticism had time to be taken to heart; Wax knew he was sensitive. Lord Ignolis was frank. Truthful. Wax could ask nothing else. He breathed out and nodded. His jaw had been wired shut. He could feel the resistance without opening it. A gesture was all he had to offer.

“These thirty-five years. ... Thirty-five,” he considered. “Congratulations. I would expect few Sith to be aged. I’m proud my own blood is among them.”

Wax’s eyes turned to liquid gold as they widened, already owlishly large from the peculiar way his injuries swelled his face. Warmth trailed down both cheeks.

Lord Ignolis’ neutrality exuded a sort of calm acceptance, then his small yellow eyes flicked to the box attached to his son’s IV drip.

“You’re on drugs?” A hard note dropped his father’s tone.

Kurt nodded.

“Hm.” Lord Ignolis looked at him a while. “I wish I brought only congratulations.” He paused again to wipe the tears from Kurt’s face with a cloth that rested on the bedside table. Kurt watched him curiously as he sank back into his pillows. “Your mother is missing.”

The dread that had been long held at bay by the arms of tranqs gnawed all the way through Kurt to his heart.

“She went to the Dark Temple to visit and meditate upon the ancient glyphs. She has not contacted me for our nightly talks.” Lord Ignolis stopped talking as he gazed down upon the wounded look on Kurt’s face. For a second, he thought he might watch his father finally break in a way he knew that he only did for his Kissai mother. … The very same way Kurt did with Zi’aa and no one else. “I have pressed; she never returned. You, as the rising patriarch should know this.”

Kurt should have known that Lord Ignolis didn’t make appointments with sentimental reasons; there was more work to be done.

Ignolis’ stoicism remained unshaken. “I understand you were to be medevaced today as your tenure with Shadowfall is up.” Wax’s superiors had arranged for that yes. “See that you are not. Your commander is dead, the lady of your House taken by some peril; You’ve prioritized the Empire over your bretheren and house long enough, Quirt’ansilm. I need you.”

His father rose effortlessly and left. His heavy black cape passed like an omen.

Kurt had frozen as he’d left, but now he grasped blindly for his datapad. His eyes closed.

Breathe. Breathe, he repeated in his solid steady mental voice. Toneless.

Hey! At least they gave you bandages. You know who I had to kill to get some face love? Soft. Effeminate. Full of laughter his mind repeated.

His eyes opened as he pulled the pad into his lap. That…

That wasn’t his voice.

[chaoticspacefam]

Kiss With A Fist

A/N:

quite literally heeheheh ok I’ll see myself out LMAO the rest of this song doesn’t literally apply to these two, they love each other very much and rest assured they’d never actually, deliberately hurt each other. it’s more the general Vibe(tm) of the song that fits their courting process + I really liked the poetic irony of this line used as the quote & the last line of the fic XD Also bear in mind this is from D’leah’s POV and yes, it is semi-ironic on purpose because...it’s D’leah. Any regulars on the blog should be very familiar with mama Sith’s propsensity to be a bully with an overinflated ego at this point *shrugs* XD

OKAY, with that out of the way, here we go! A little oneshot. I haven’t sat down to properly write or edit for a good long while, but this is still one of my favourite oneshots that I’ve ever written tbh, so...enjoy! 😄😄 I’ll leave it up to reader interpretation as to whether they actually finished the mission her brother & dad sent them out on or got sidetracked(tm) 👀😉

I don’t think it needs a particular warning since it’s literally one sentence but there is a mention of killing an assassin in the middle of this (under the cut) so ig be aware of that. It’s not horribly graphic so should be fine but uhhh, just in case?

                                ----------------------------

“A kick in the teeth is good for some, but a kiss with a fist is better than none!” ~Florence & the Machine

Of all the Royal Guards that could have possibly been assigned to accompany her on this mission, it had to be this one. The heiress would be lying if she said she wasn't a tad bitter by the Emperor's insistence on that arrangement; she'd attempted to change his mind in a moment of desperation in the past, but her father would hear nothing of it, patting her on the shoulder and claiming that none of the others had the skill level for this sort of task, or to keep up with her during it. So, once more, she was resigned to the company of the fool who, despite her snapping, always seemed to turn up when he was least wanted and needed. 

(This was, of course, not the case and given that his entire purpose was to protect the heiress from threats, perhaps she should have been more tolerant of his presence, or perhaps her protests stemmed less from annoyance and more from something else than she was willing to admit…)

 And he had been fraying D'leah's nerves ever since they'd landed on Tatooine this morning. Kissai had enough arrogance for the both of them, and he seemed to have gotten the idea into his head that she couldn't take care of herself without him needing to jump in to "rescue" her at the most inopportune moment. It was infuriating. She did not need him charging in to help, she could handle herself just fine.

Everything about this man irritated her to no end: the way he stomped around with his great big feet and woke half the karkin’ planet, his habit of always being right behind her whenever she turned around, the way he kept grabbing her by the shoulder to pull her back and insist he, of all people, went first; his stupid face and that annoying, oaf-ish smile of his…

She’d been so busy internally cursing her Guard that she’d failed to notice the man who had been tailing them since the spaceport; in fact, she only noticed him in the first place when she heard his spine crack as Kissai lifted him into the air with the Force, then flung the body down in front of her almost pointedly.

D’leah let out an agitated hiss as her amber eyes flicked from the corpse at her feet, to his face as he raised both browstalks at her as if to say "I told you so", then back again, and sputtered.

“He wasn’t going to shoot me.” 

“I think you’ll find he was, princess.” Kissai retorted smoothly, plucking the man’s blaster pistol off the ground and waving it at her as he added, “You’re welcome, by the way.” She bristled faintly at the word ‘princess’. Sometimes when she was in a good mood, she’d slip up and let it slide without correcting him. Today, after the morning she’d had, D’leah was in no mood to put up with it.

“I don’t need you following me around like a lost Tuk’ata pup!” she snapped at him, trudging onwards and praying he’d catch his stomping feet in a sinkhole when he tried to follow her.

“Your father seems to think otherwise.” The man simply laughed the comment off, pulling his hood up to protect his face from the sand that whipped into a vortex around them. His voice dropped an octave, to become a more serious growl. “Are you forgetting that my entire job is to protect you?” 

The Ahaszaai High Lady snarled under her breath, checking the locator beacon Duuma had given her as she ducked into the alcove it indicated. The lost artifact should be around here somewhere…

“I don’t need protecting, I can take care of myself just fine!” 

“Mm, of course, D’leahane, because Sith who can take care of themselves usually almost get decapitated by assassins.” Kissai snorted, though she could practically hear the shit-eating grin in his voice, “I think your father’s right to ask me to accompany you. You’d have died three times today if I hadn’t.”

“GO JUMP IN A SARLACC PIT!” she shouted back at him. 

“And there are the creative insults your brother warned me about.” 

D’leah paused in her search to turn her head and give him a dirty look over her shoulder, intoning menacingly. “I’ll kill him when I see him next.” 

Kissai’s expression moulded into one of concern this time, the red-eyed Pureblood blinking at her uncertainly as he reminded her. “...You don’t know which one it was.”

Now it was her turn to grin at him.

“Don’t need to, I have a fifty-fifty shot.”

“No wonder they’re both afraid of you.” he scoffed, rolling his eyes. Truthfully, the High Lady was doing her best to ignore his obvious needling as she ducked through another archway and moved further into the cave system, the words she threw over her shoulder echoing back to him off the empty passageway’s walls.

“You should be afraid of me, too. I could end you.”

She was surprised he was still behind her, he could move rather fast despite his large frame, it would seem. D’leah tried not to be too impressed by that fact, but if she was being honest...

“Does it bother you that I’m not, princess?” 

He wasn’t going to drop this, was he? She’d been about to levitate a pile of rocks out of their path, but stopped and spun around to glare at him instead.

“Don’t you “princess” me, you...you…” just when she needed it the most, her ability to think of an appropriate insult failed her, and instead she trailed off into awkward silence. Kissai took that as an invitation to make her even more irritated that his wit was quicker than hers, and added, grinning the whole while: “If you’re trying to think of something you haven’t called me yet, we’ll be here for a good century or so.”

“Fool.” she hissed in frustration. He had her on the ropes, now, and that wasn’t somewhere the Ahaszaai heiress was used to being.  “Is that the best one you have? Did I wear you out, my Lord~?” he crooned back at her, and that was when D’leah put her foot down. She flung a few bolts of lightning in his direction for good measure. As she had suspected, his reflexes were as good as his saber skills and he easily deflected them off his palm before the electricity did any damage, swatting them aside into the wall as if he were brushing dust off his cloak.

“I knew you were going to do that, too...do you really think I can’t handle you?” he teased fondly. 

“I’ve no time for oafs the likes of you.” D’leah growled.

"Then tell me to leave you alone." he stared back at her seriously, browstalks furrowing as his gaze slid from hers to focus on the rest of her face, as if searching her expression for a nonverbal cue he might have missed. "At your word, my Lord, you'll not hear another thing from me beyond those necessary for my duty." 

Looking into his eyes in that moment, she was forced to admit the reality that perhaps she didn’t want him to leave her alone. He’d figured out she was testing him, and now he was calling her bluff, the kriffing, good-looking bastard.  Her jaw spurs rattled in annoyance, but D'leah's lips remained sealed. He waited a full minute, still studying her carefully, to give her plenty of opportunity to voice her thoughts. 

She didn't. The corners of Kissai's mouth turned upwards into a faint smile. 

"That's what I thought." he stepped away from her again, but not before slipping up and forgetting his station for long enough to murmur fondly, "Your nose scrunches up when you're sulking, you know. It’s cute."

D'leah could let "princess" slide on a good day, as far as his pet names went it was among those she considered tolerable, but she drew the line at "cute"! Annoyed and frustrated in more ways than one, she strode after him to reach up and grab the taller Pureblood's shoulder to stop him in his tracks. The Guard turned towards her again, a small, confused noise rumbling in his throat.

First she punched him in the jaw, then she kissed him. Hard. And that was the end of that.

[chaoticspacefam]

Elven Rambles About Character Builds

So! As we know, SWTOR’s body types (especially for the women) are sorely lacking in proper variety in-game. It’s something that’s always bothered me, and I have specific images in my head for how I imagine each of my main girls to look in terms of their figure. But the problem is, for all of them, none of the in-game body presets that are available come close to their actual builds, I’ve just had to settle for “eh, I guess this is as close as I’m gonna get, whatever”

I’m putting the rest under a cut because it gets quite long, I do talk a little bit about the slavery plot point of the Inquisitor storyline so that’s something to be aware of before proceeding, but it’s mostly just a lot of me rambling about my dumb space children so be prepared for a lot of reading, I guess (there’s pictures too tho!) haha

Aria is certainly the “worst” for this, because while she has a “baby” face, her torso is a lot chunkier, and most importantly, she’s short, ya girl’s 5 ft 1 for God’s sakes! I don’t know if it’s just my eyes, but to me, BT2 looks the “shortest”, so even though BT4 is probably the “closest” I can get in game to her overall structure, it’s too tall for her. So, I’ve ended up having to “settle” for BT2 even though it makes her look way too slender, really. (honest to God, can we have someone on character design that doesn’t insist on every woman having a perfect hourglass figure because “they have to be that way or they’re not attractive”, PLEASE Bioware! Bigger, round or square, or pear-shaped or whatever, ladies, can still be beautiful too!)

And let’s not mention that there’s such a vast difference in all the different male body type options (look at male BT2 and male BT3 for instance) And yet for the ladies, the differences are so subtle that I honestly have to squint to see them (and yes, I have kinda crappy eyesight but it should be more easily noticeable, if you can do it for the men you can do it for the women, you fucking cowards) because that’s a whole other rant. ANYWAY

SO, Ela shared the link to this site in our wonderful SWTOR content creator discord that I’m resident in and of course my brain went “wait a minute, I can use this”

So I did. It’s certainly not perfect but it’s good enough to give a much closer representation of how I imagine their builds/shapes to look. As mentioned I have a general idea of how I want them to be shaped in my head, but it helps to have a visual reminder when I’m trying to draw them, so now I have been making these silhouettes to add to their (new) ref sheets when I get round to em

This is more along the lines of how I imagine Ari to look. She’s smol, and very square-shaped, with a fair bit of fat on her lower half especially (it all goes to her hips, I feel ya girl XD) So, I reiterate again, BT4 would be “correct” enough in terms of the pudge and the general shape, but it’s way too tall-looking in all the cutscenes I tried it in. So, BT2 was what I “settled” with, but this is the sort of build she should have.

and then in-game, Vano, Ni’kasi & Saarai are all BT3, because it’s the only “tall” option, but there’s a big problem with this because as the only option, it means your character has to be “tall and perfectly hourglass” which is....not the case really for any of them. There’s literally no options to have a “tall/big” lady but also have a different build or muscle structure and it frustrates me to no end, because even though they’re very close in height, their body types couldn’t be more different.

Exhibit A, the twins, put side-by-side to really show the difference between them:

Saarai is a 6 ft 3 wall of pure muscle, she’s a literal tank & even though she’s fit, she’s very “broad” in stance & stature, she does have a sort of hourglass dip on her hips but it’s very subtle because she’s just that muscly (thanks dad, she’s definitely your kid pfpfpfpf) Ni’kasi, on the other hand? She’s only 6ft, she took more after mom than dad height-wise, and there’s no way for me to show it easily on this silhouette (I’m working on other stuff & don’t have time to make an edit in Sketchbook just for this post), but she actually did get Kissai’s broad shoulders...the problem is, that unlike Saarai, Ni’kasi hasn’t had a steady, healthy diet after she got turfed down the social ladder into the slave pits. Poor diet (and a shortage of enough food, too, they had to keep her in line & stop her escaping somehow, obvious solution: “make sure she’s too weak to even think about it”) means she’s a lot skinnier and more “twiggy” than her twin. She’s not grossly underweight anymore, obviously the Overseers and Zash had to make sure she was fed up properly to gain enough strength to be able to train & then run around the galaxy killing things at Zash’s bidding, BUT because of the malnourishment she suffered at that point in her life, she’s never going to get as much muscle as Saarai did and even though she’s a healthier weight now, she’s still slender. She has more of an hourglass than her twin, but her hips are much narrower than her shoulders, so it’s not as prominent (and even this silhouette has too much of an hourglass for her as is, but as I mentioned earlier, don’t have time to make the edit myself rn, will do it later XD)

And finally, Exhibit B, Vano:

Now, I would argue Vano would be the closest of the three to being pretty much BT3. But note “the closest”, not “exact”. Why? Vano’s 6 ft 2, so she’s only an inch shorter than Rai, but their builds are very different. Saarai’s a beefcake, but Vano’s a Mirialan, so she’s got muscle, but she’s lean and tall. Vano here is about 80% or so legs and 20% the rest of her body, she’s got legs for daaayss and that’s what gives her the height, but apart from a six pack, you won’t actually see most of her muscle, whereas Saarai could flex with her guns out and you’d totally notice.

This got very long, so if you made it all the way to the end of this post of me blabbing about how I wish the body types had more variety & why I want that for my girls, I appreciate you very much, have a cookie! 🍪 🍪 🍪 🍪 🍪  < take one and pass it on as they say ;) hahaha

[chaoticspacefam]

6.  “How do you think this will all end?” for D'leah, please <3

Pinky once again picking THE juiciest possible combo of prompt + characters, everybody go thank her bc I had a blast with this 👀 I’ve been wanting to write a oneshot for this part of the story for a while and this is the perfect excuse mwahaha 

@palepinkycat here you go! Sorry this one took a little while, I haven’t had time to sit and write it out till now, but hopefully it’s a decent enough length to make it up to you! 👀

I have more to say about the body language I described in here (namely the significance of the “under chin” snuggles & also why D’leah Yelled At Abe When He Tried To Do It To Her At The End), but I have a Worldbuilding tag somewhere in my mentions so I’mma save it for that basically. More Tomato Lore gonna drop sometime in the next week or two once I’m done with the drawings skshsks I tried to do one for this one too but it was not coming out right so maybe some other time XD

I’ve seen a lot of fics explore what it’s like to have a Force bond and communicate with it but I’ve seen very few that deal with the “what if it breaks when one of them dies” side of it, so this is my take on what happens and how it probably feels for the “surviving” party; I usually describe my Force bonds as a sort of ethereal “thread” type thing that then connects their emotions/souls/however you want to see it and yadda yadda, so...you can’t tell me that snapping that thread wouldn’t fucking hurt ;-; For extra heart hurty, the song quotes were the main two songs I listened to while working on each “part” of this fic, so you can use them for ambience if you want ;)

As always I use the Coruscant Translator for (most of) my High Sith, translations are included on the bottom however :) (since the quote from the prompt is said in Sith, they’re gonna talk in High Sith sometimes being well...Sith :3)

Abaron is the best brother-in-law, I do not make the rules. D’leah you need to apologise to this man immediately 😂 she does, immediately after this (not shown) dw, I swear

Timeline/Setting: 3729 BBY (roughly/according to the still-holey timeline I’ve been working on since the “canon” one was released) Immediately post-Valkoriate takeover. As in, literally just happened slash is happening as this occurs.

Warnings: Character Death mention (Kissai), Breaking Force Bonds, Plenty of angst (it was from an “angsty” prompt list, after all! 😬) , possible slight gore (?) in the form of description of a former  injury from a concussion grenade (just to be safe lol), and ofc some Cuss Words (™) 

^^ these are ur warnings, click past this cut at ur own risk and I am not responsible for how you react bc you chose to pass the warning k thanks ^^

“Don’t care if he’s guilty, don’t care if he’s not. He’s good and he’s bad and he’s all that I’ve got. Oh lord, oh lord, I’m begging you please...don’t take that sinner from me -” ~ The Civil Wars, “Devil’s Backbone”

It all happened so fast, they had to react fast if they were going to save the twins, and D’leah knew that. She’d tried so desperately to help her husband, pouring as much of her Force energy as she could through the bond they shared. It had always worked before, why wasn’t it working NOW?! D’leah didn’t know, but she could feel him growing weaker and weaker by the second. 

D’leah - his voice was so distant and faint, she almost didn’t want to acknowledge the reality of it. No, no no, he wasn’t dying he couldn’t be dying, no no no…. D-Don’t do this. Sai… her grip on the control cluster tightened until her knuckles turned pale, they were already in the air. It would be easy to do what she knew he was about to ask...but it would mean leaving him to his fate. Could she do that?

Dimly, D’leah could hear Abaron chattering to the girls behind her as he made sure they stayed in their seats, but she couldn’t hear the words any of them were saying, there was just him and that horrible, ominous weakness bleeding from her husband’s end of the bond. 

You need to run… Kissai urged her. PROMISE me. The girls-

I can’t...not without you! her mind-voice caught as if the words were difficult to form, she felt him slip further away and frantically tried to bolster his strength up again, but somehow, she couldn’t put her finger on how, it only seemed to make the other Pureblood weaker. Sai, snichi… she pleaded, and she could feel the barest attempt at a smile from her husband as he gave her his final farewell, 

Nu aki j’us, D’leah. RUN. For me...

His words were far weaker now, more forced, as if even Kissai knew he was running out of time to convey his plea. D’leah realised with a growing sense of horror that they really didn’t have another option, she had to protect their daughters. She reached towards the navcomputer to punch in the quickest hyperspace code she could think of that would get them as far away from Imperial Space as possible, but never managed to get there. 

The pain hit her so fast that D’leah had no time to prepare for it even if in reality, she’d known it was coming. First, came the white-hot metal rod of pain that jammed right down the center of her spine. Every nerve ending felt like it was on fire and it was this that was enough to cause her to cry out in pain and lose her grip on the ship’s controls as the Pureblood was thrown sideways in her seat. She managed to fall with just enough grace to get herself out of Abaron’s way and as she hit the floor and the pain kept coming, she faintly heard the man curse in High Sith as he lunged across to take her place in the pilot’s seat before they nose-dived into Force-only-knows what, out here in open space like they were. 

Then she felt the thread of Force energy between herself and her husband straining, threatening to snap, and before long, it did. D’leah knew logically there was nothing she could do to stop it, and that trying would make it hurt more, but she was desperate and on reflex she could not help but try. Frantically, she reached out with her own Force energy and clasped for each thread as it tore away from her, bit by bit, as if clutching at the strings would somehow, futilely, keep him here. Would let him live. But still, the pain came again, and again, and she fancied that the sinews of flesh being ripped from bone when she lost part of her face to that concussion grenade had been less painful than this. “No...no no no no please...please! NO!!!” Everything else was so faint and far-away in comparison that D’leah didn’t realise that her scream had been out loud this time, her fingers fumbling for her heart, though she couldn’t rightly tell if that was where the pain was truly coming from and it was simply a reflexive reaction. 

For a long while she clenched her teeth through wave after wave of pain, and while it didn’t stop, it became easier with every breath for D’leah to push it into the background. Slowly, the Pureblood’s blurry vision cleared and she realised the twins were staring down at her, wide-eyed in horror. 

She needed to get up. She needed to go to them, she needed to be strong. For them.

Saarai reached for her first, but she scooped both of them up into her arms as best as she was able, all but falling into the seat where the twins had been huddled moments before. The girls both clamored to settle themselves as close to her as they could without pushing the other out of her grasp too. D’leah held onto them as tightly as she could, only vaguely aware of Saarai’s voice as she chattered a question up at her, catching every second word or so. “Moooom!” as she reached up towards her again, and “Dad...gonna find us...right?” 

Their mother shushed them softly, adjusting her grip to fit both of the twins, as best she was able, beneath her chin. Safe. They were safe there.

“Shhh, shh-shh, my little one.” she croaked shakily, a tremor passing through her frame as she tried to keep her voice steady and convincing through the lie. “He’ll catch up later, don’t you worry.” 

They sat in silence, D’leah clutching them against her chest as if they, too, might disappear if she let them go for even one second, and Abaron took over piloting the ship so that she didn’t have to. He’d practically done all the work already, anyway. She risked a glance down at her daughters, and caught the wary glint in Saarai’s golden eyes, the sideward glance at her sister, and she knew that they knew it was a lie. But she had not the heart to tell them that yet. Not now, through the tears that had begun to stream from her eyes despite her attempts to hold them at bay. She did not mean to cry, but what else could she do??

Saarai’s tiny fingers reached up shakily, when she realised what they were, to brush the liquid tracks from her chin and the spurs on her jaw. It only made her cry more and hold them tighter.

“Nunchi woiunoks, oi ai utja…” she breathed soothingly, hoping it was convincing enough for the twins. “Mom’s got you...nothing is ever going to hurt you while I’m here.” She held them like that right until they landed.

“The daughter of a lawyer, told the fallen priest “it’s a cold, cold place in the arms of a thief”, And tapping at the arrow in her heel, she said “LEAVE ME ALONE! ...but just don’t leave me here, alright?” Alright..” ~ Iron & Wine, “Arms of a Thief” 

By the time they arrived at their destination, some planet called “Rishii” that she doesn’t ever recall knowing of before - but perhaps that’s a good thing - and Abaron managed to find them a place to stay, the pain she had felt had dulled to more of a phantom throbbing than anything else. But her consciousness felt vulnerable and empty without Kissai’s own Force presence winding around hers, she felt alone, even though physically she was not. D’leah had sung and rocked the twins to sleep, with some effort, and glanced down at them as they slept, Ni’kasi’s arms curled around her sister as she burrowed under her chin for comfort beneath the blanket their mother had tucked around them.

The pain was gone, and in its wake came the FURY. It bubbled to the surface all too quickly, and D’leah began to tremble again, a growl rumbling deep in her throat as she realised that first, the girls were theoretically out of danger, and secondly, she still had a ship. She could go back. 

“I’m going to kill that fucker.” the Pureblood wheeled for the door, only to find it blocked by Abaron, who seemed to have pre-empted her outburst. She stopped short, a hiss slipping past her teeth as her lip curled back to show her fangs briefly. “Abe. Move.” she snarled, resisting the urge to shout so as to not wake Saarai and Ni’kasi from their slumber. The tips of Abaron’s jaw spurs shook as, for once in his life, he declined to follow her order. 

“No. My Lord, I can’t let you do that.”

It took every ounce of her self control not to do worse, but as it was, D’leah tried to lunge for him so she could force her way past, he might not have been taller than her but he was stronger, and heavier too. The man reacted just as quickly, his own hands closing around her wrists to push back and keep her in place, his own feet firmly rooted in the doorway as he grunted. “D’leah! Listen to me, please!” 

The tears threatened to come to the surface again, her eyes burning hot, though this time the matriarch forced them down, though her voice still quivered as she spat, each word punctuated with a quiver in her voice.

“You have no idea how I am feeling right now!”

“Not wholly, no.” Abaron argued, releasing her arms as she dropped them back to her sides, her remaining spurs still rattling softly in agitation. “But I know that going back there now is foolish, my Lord!” 

“Get. Out. Of. My. Way!” D’leah hissed, though she didn’t have the strength left after the manic dash away from Kaas to call the lightning to her fingertips and lend to the threat she was trying to punctuate. “H-He is sitting there, on our homeworld, w-with our people’s blood on his hands!” she tried to shove him again, but her fist connected dully with the plated armour on the other Pureblood’s chest and didn’t make much of an impact on him. “They’re all dead and y-you just want me to -!!” 

“I’m trying to protect you, my Lord!” his teeth flashed back at her, yet another thing she would not have stood for if she was half as lucid as usual. He continued on further, his voice a low, agitated growl as he lowered his face to hers as if to punctuate his point. “That is my charge, it’s what you bid me to do and I will not have you risking your life for such a foolish venture, you’re not thinking straight! We are the only ones left! It’s my duty to make sure that all three of you stay alive!” 

She flinched at the reminder. Them, and Vowrawn, perhaps...if he was sneaky enough. But Abaron was right, going back would put him at risk, too. His eyes searched hers frantically, and his hands remained raised as if Abaron wasn’t completely sure he wouldn’t need to hold her back again. D’leah was in half a mind about it herself, she wasn’t sure how to react now. And what her brother-in-law said next put the nail in the coffin, so to speak: 

“Dias dari j'us minti pa saû iki wisa qorit?” he urged, the words a muttered whisper.

The Pureblood matriarch felt her anger fizzle out almost instantly as the realization sank in. The girls....they were only children. They were far too young for this. Too young, they were too young for this talk of death and loss and grief; too young to have to understand if she left them here and did not come back either. Their father’s passing would weigh heavily on them for the rest of their lives, they didn’t deserve to have to lose their mother, and on the same day, too...

She deflated, her shoulders sagging in defeat, and another tremor wracked her frame as she dropped her own gaze to the floor for the moment. “Abe...I-” 

“I know.” he sighed, relaxing as he stepped up to draw her against his chest sympathetically. She almost didn’t react, until she felt his chin brush the top of her head and she realized what he was trying to do. Despite his attempt at the gesture being comforting, D’leah jerked herself away from him to growl warningly. “Dari nindz.”

He looked momentarily taken aback, holding his hands up amicably as he apologised. “I was just...I thought you needed-” “Nu sûa nindz zo ardira!” she snapped at him, but mercifully, turned away from the door and stalked further inside once more.

____________________________________________________

Sith translations, in order:

Snichi... - please... 

Nu aki j’us. - I (romantic) love you.

Nunchi woiunoks, oi ai utja. - Sweet little one, it’s alright.

Dias dari j'us minti pa saû iki wisa qorit? - How do you think this will all end? 

Dari nindz - Don’t.

Nu sûa nindz zo ardira! - I’m not a child!

[chaoticspacefam]

💿💿💿 for Roanan, Ni'kasi and D'leah 👀

[ Send 💿 + a muse name and I'll list the songs I associate with that character!] --feel free to send more, you can even send for the same characters if you want. I am not joking when I say I have plenty of songs to choose from for all of them LMAO

Thank you for the asks, Pinky! ❤️ picking out the good ones, as usual 👀 So, in order! Warning up here for explicit language so don’t click past the cut if you don’t like that (tho I swear a lot so honestly y’all should be used to F bombs in songs and otherwise by now XD) Also, polite reminder that my ficverse is canon divergent so it doesn’t 100% follow in-game canon regarding the Empire’s backstory etc. No clowning, I will not be responding to “ThAT’s NoT CaNoN” posts 😘

Roan

My Way (Frank Sinatra Cover) - Chase Holfelder

Yes there were times, I’m sure you knew When I bit off more than I could chew But through it all when there was doubt, I ate it up, and spit it out! I faced it all, and I stood tall, and did it my way!

Yes, this version specifically, because the way the switch to minor key makes it both more heartfelt and yet sinister at the same time is just Roan’s entire aesthetic, as well as the lyrics all fitting his character arc very well~ 😃 Lawful Evil dad who saw how destructive the Emperor’s nonsense was becoming and did the best he could to help Vano, Ni’kasi and Vowrawn correct the mistakes right till the end, even if it cost him everything.

Ni’kasi

Judith [Explicit] - A Perfect Circle

Oh, so many ways for me to show you how your saviour has abandoned you... FUCK YOUR “GOD”! Your Lord, and your Christ, HE DID THIS! Took all you had and left you this way! Still you pray, never stray, never taste of the fruit, You never thought to question “why”.

With the “God” in question here referencing Tenebrae/Vitiate/Valkorion, The Emperor, of course 👀 Now we all know by now, Ni’kasi knows he’s full of shit, she knows exactly who he is, what he did, and that he’s neither a good ruler for the Empire nor the rightful one. Yes, it’s been over 100 years since Vitiate’s hostile takeover but like her mama, Kas holds grudges and she’s not about to take his nonsense lying down. She tamps it down for a long while but safe to say eventually She. Goes. OFF. 👏🤣 and the minute the opportunity comes along to branch out alongside Vano and Lana and break away from the crappy laws and slavery in the Empire and create somewhere better that people can flee to, she’s outta there.

D’leah

Daniel In The Den - Bastille

And you thought the lions were bad Well, they tried to kill my brothers And for every king that died, Oh they would crown another... And it’s harder than you think, telling dreams from one another. Felled in the night, by the ones you think you loved. They will come for you!

Or more accurately, did in fact, kill one brother. And your parents. And your huband. And yea... I don’t think it’s possible for me to talk about D’leah and not get a little bit angsty, I’m sorry. 😔 Anyway, Tenebrae/Vitiate/whatever you wanna call him definitely took the Ahaszaai by surprise, both she and Kissai had “funny feelings” about him but they really didn’t clock how big a threat he was until it was too late, and before she knew it, it’s just her, the twins, Abaron and maybe Vowrawn (tho until they go back to Kaas once the twins are grown she has no idea if Vowrawn’s alive or dead and can’t put the babies at risk going back to check 😭)

[chaoticspacefam]

D’leah, when Kissai tries to initiate PDA (tm): I have never met you before in my life, why are you touching me. You bastard. You fiend. Stop this at once.

D’leah, an hour later when he is busy with Something Important: OK I would like attention now.

Kissai: But I-

D’leah: If I don’t get cuddled right this instant I am Going To Scream.

source: tumblr

[chaoticspacefam]

2020 In Review: Wordcount Tag

I was tagged for this by @actualanxiousswampwitch​ , thank you! I’m not sure who’s already done or been tagged for this cause I am, once again, late to the party LOL but I shall (no pressure and sorry if you’ve already done it!) tag: @rainofaugustsith​ , @darth-bagel​ , @thatmmolesbian​ , @thelastenvoyyy​ and anybody else who wants to do this. Yes, I promise I mean you!

Words: 45,314

Published: 0 (I’m not counting the couple of Six Sentence tags I’ve gotten, they’re snippets of an unfinished piece & are included below instead :), or roleplay replies, cause that feels like cheating lol.) I actually wrote a lot more than I thought I had, this is a rough guesstimate as well, as my oneshot WIPs tend to be all over the place across something like 6 different documents, some of which have existed since 2018, so I had to guess at how far up to count from the end for some of them, but I think it’s a fair guesstimate XD I also have included lore/worldbuilding docs in this because that was a 3-month long Lockdown 1.0 Boredom/”Canon is a trash fire so I’m ignoring that and making up my own lore” passion project and I’m goddamn proud of how much I wrote for that. It’s the most I’ve written in one stretch (think I finished it over a span of 3 nights or so, once I’d done all the research and made all the notes ofc ^^)

Not Published: 45,314

The Breakdown:

swtor - 45,314

for creeping shadows (my main longfic/part one of the subterfugeverse series) - 1,553  - Aria, stop being difficult! *shakes fists* XD

oneshots - 16,223

lore/worldbuilding (for subterfugeverse naturally) - 23,001 (is this ALL tomato alien lore? pretty much, yes, yes it is :’D ~400 words is “the WIP reworked timeline to correlate my worldbuilding with the canon timeline that was released”, but 98% is just...me thinking way too much about Purebloods and how they deserved way better goddamn lore. I blame @fluffynexu ‘s amazing tomato worldbuilding posts,  reading them when I went looking for “canon” lore one day for the rp is what got me started down that rabbithole (it’s awesome and if you haven’t already you should totally go check hers out too :DD), I had a “fuck you then canon I’ll do it myself too >:L” moment and once I started I couldn’t stop until I’d crapped out literally over 20k words on the subject *whispering* thank you LOL)

zephyrverse au bonus oneshots - 4,537 (stuff I wrote to fill in time gaps or “just cause I had a plot bunny”, relating to mine and k-christine’s zephyrverse au rp. None of these will likely be posted publicly, but they still deserve to be counted as words I wrote this year :’D

As you can see, most of my “muse” this year came from sporadic oneshots :’D The Ahaszaai twins also properly plot-bunnied their way into my brain in late 2019 and haven’t stopped making a nuisance of themselves the whole fucking year. Every time I tried to carry on with a chapter, one of the two of them would pop up like “Nooo write about ME! pay attention to ME!” - Yes, Ni’kasi, I will get to you this year, I promise XD

New Things I Tried:

Just Writing. Not worrying about whether “it wasn’t part of the next chapter” or “it comes from a part in the story that I’m nowhere near close to posting yet”. If I felt like writing something, or for a specific pairing/feeling/scene, whatever. I wrote until I ran outta muse juice. Yeah, it meant I didn’t technically “finish” anything this year BUT - the important thing is I wrote stuff. and that’s all that really matters, eh? :’D

Polyam ships! May not seem like a big deal but I spent a long time talking myself out of them because of internalised toxic monogamy and finally saying “you know what, fuck it! I can ship three or more people together and it can still be a perfectly wholesome, healthy and loving relationship and that’s okay” was a BIG thing for me this year.

Dialogue Scripts: which I didn’t count as wordcount because really it’s just word vomit of general tone/inflection and dialogue that I came up with right before falling asleep which I didn’t want to lose. Basically, if an exchange or a particularly punchy or moving line of dialogue popped into my brain but I wasn’t ready to write the whole scene that it fit into out, but didn’t want to forget the line(s). I wrote it out in movie script/script-style roleplay fashion e.g. Character’s Name: (emotion, hand gestures etc.) [Dialogue here] and so on. I know this is probably a well known trick of the trade, but I never took it seriously until this year. Seriously, do it. It’s great.

Favorite Thing I Wrote:

Hmmm, a snippet for Andronikos/Ni’kasi that I started this week which isn’t posted yet (saving it for this week’s Six Sentence Sunday so look out for it! :D) was pretty fun to work on, I love their dynamic and Kas is suprisingly fun to write for.

Also the Aria/Vano proposal scene that I posted a snippet for the week before last. I’m having great fun with that scene, and I really enjoy putting a non-serious spin on the classic “proposal scene” tropes. Can’t wait to finish it, though it may be a while before the full one goes up on AO3, as it depends whether it ends up fitting in as part of the mainfic or as an additional oneshot

And I have a D’leah/Kissai oneshot that I need to give another once-over before I finally yeet it onto AO3 and Tumblr for you guys to see :’D

Favorite Fic I Read:

@sleepswithvillains Eleanora/Quinn fic, Helplessly Hoping. I’m horribly behind on chapters and I gotta catch up and read the finale this week, but it’s been a helluva great ride and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the story! <3

Also The Invitation collab with @tishinada featuring Zas and Fiona had me squealing, I can’t wait to catch up on HH and see more of these two, they’re adorable ;-; @a-muirehen​ ‘s Relu/Merkara series of course! I’m a complete sucker for (friends to lovers to in Ariano’s case but yea pfpfpf) enemies to lovers ships and these two are just so good, I am on the edge of my seat every time we get a new snippet for them, ngl (grimace emoji) @darth-bagel ‘s Sylvas/Graz’zt and Sylvas/Liz/Rilfaen snippets which they’ve been spoiling me with on Discord @mercurypilgrim ‘s Ven’fir/Quinn AU oneshots, Cloudbank (Western was a particular favourite, but all are very good!) and of course @rainofaugustsith ‘s Lana/Viri updates are always fantastic, some personal favourites from this year were Almost There & Memory of Healing :3 (I totally still go back to read Commander & Advisor too sometimes, getting to see Viri be a little diabolical and messing with “MiNiSTeR LoRMaN!” was and still is my favourite thing XD)

If I’ve left you out I’m sorry!! These were the ones that stuck out in my memory, but I’ve loved everyone’s writing this year, it’s been great :3

Writing Goals:

to actually finish and post chapter 8 & 9 of Creeping Shadows. Then we’ll get to the meat and potatoes of the story and maybe Aria will stop being a brat and fighting me every time I try to stick to a semi-regular update schedule Get off my butt, finalise the name and get started on Ni’kasi’s part of the Subterfugeverse story. Maybe run the updates in-tandem with Creeping Shadows but idk if I want to wait till after CS is done before I start posting Kas’s side, or do them side-by-side yet, we’ll see ;) Keep writing! I know better than to pressure myself by setting a specific word count goal, that’s never worked well in the past

At least 2 chapters of each of the works mentioned above would be great though, more would be better! We’ll see how I go

Words of Thanks:

honestly, to everybody in the fandom I’ve met this year. Anybody that I follow, thank you for being there and engaging with me and/or posting amazing content for me to look at! I came over from deviantART where the SWTOR fandom is incredibly small and generally quite inactive and the contrast since moving over here has been incredibly uplifting. I very nearly cancelled Creeping Shadows and stopped posting fic for my SWTORverse altogether because I got next to no engagement on dA and it was very disheartening to the point where I felt I could enjoy the game and the rp partners I had, but the solo projects I’d put so much thought, time and love into already weren’t worth continuing. You guys took that spark and kept it going and I really don’t have enough words to say how grateful I am for that. Even if I haven’t published much this year, making posts on this tumblr, interacting with everyone and working on lore, plot points and so on for Subterfugeverse has kept me going through the Hellish Year of Nightmares that was 2020 <3

to the amazing new friends I’ve made in this past year, who have listened to me ramble about headcanons, character backstories, writing snippets (and rambled/sent some back), keep being awesome: @walk-ng-d-saster , @darth-bagel , @kyber-heart , @deepseacritter , @thedinalixlegacy to further friends and meme tag buddies, I get so excited every time I see a mention for a new meme or ask game in my inbox, so thank you!! : @mimabeann , @palepinkycat , @a-master-procrastinator , @raven-of-domain-kwaad , @actualanxiousswampwitch , @thatmmolesbian , @a-muirehen to my regular commentors/rebloggers/likers/askbox lurkers, I see every one of you and every time your users pop up I grin like a kid in a toy shop: @starlightjedi , @sparkles-and-rust , @wilvarin-chan , @sunsetofdoom , @ask-an-andalite , @thelastenvoyyy . @lyrishadow and more because Tumblr only goes so far back and I have the memory of Swiss Cheese. If you regularly comment, like, reblog, or anything, from me, know that I see you, and I love and appreciate you for it! <3

I couldn’t possibly remember to tag everyone and I promise if I missed you out it’s not because I hate you! Anxiety just sometimes be a bitch and I don’t wanna look like a clown calling someone a “friend” if I’m not explicitly sure we are, in fact, friends. I think you’re all awesome and I’m so glad to have moved over here and met you all <3

[chaoticspacefam]

OC Meme - Ni’kasi

I was tagged by @pauletta-00​ (thank you! Sorry it took so long, this got lost in my notifs woops shduhdyud)

I’m not gonna specifically tag anybody this time cause it’s been a weird day and I don’t wanna be annoying to anybody, so if you’re reading this and you haven’t been tagged yet and want to (or have already done it and want to do it for another character) then go for it!

I think I’ve only done Aria and Saarai for this one, so here’s Ni’kasi this time! If this is a repeat then my bad, but it’s been a while since I got tagged for this one so I don’t 100% remember who I’ve done already XD

(I will get other screenshots of her one day, I swear. Once Saarai’s gotten to SoR I’ll go back and do Ni’kasi’s class story next XD)

*Disclaimer/reminder: that my ficverse is CANON-DIVERGENT, so while I’ve tried to stay as true and accurate as possible, the dates (and people involved) are not 100% the same as the official canon, particularly where the pre-Valkorion Empire and his takeover of it are involved. If this bothers you, my fic and my blog are not for you and I ask you to politely scroll past, thank youuuu :3

GENERAL

Name: Ni’kasi Ahaszaai (Kas to her sister and husband only)

Alias(es): Darth Occulus, Keeper of the Sphere of Ancient Knowledge, Lady Occulus (after joining the Alliance)

Gender: Female

Age:  Born Autumn, 3739 BBY (110 as of Onslaught in 3629 BBY)

Place of birth: Medriaas, Wild Space

Spoken languages: High Sith, Sith, Basic, Huttese,

Sexual orientation: Heterosexual, demiromantic

Occupation: Sith Lord → Slave → Sith Apprentice/Sith Lord (again) → Darth/Dark Councillor → Advisor for the Eternal Alliance (specialising in ancient artefacts, holocrons and so on)

APPEARANCE

Eye colour: Scarlet

Hair colour: Red-tinted brown (I think it can be called russet but I’m not 100% sure on the semantics so, it’s brown with a reddish tint/undertone USHYUSGYUD)

Height: 6′0′’ / 181 cm

Scars: several, long whipmarks criss-crossed over her back from her time as a slave, as well as two clusters of scar tissue on the back of her neck from shock collar prongs, scar across her left eye (courtesy of mom, when she tried to intervene and stop her from hurting her sister and nephew)

Burns: None, really (that I can think of anyway...)

Overweight: No

Underweight: Formerly, yes. When she was a slave one of the only ways they could make sure she wouldn’t fight back was to keep her as weak and undernourished as possible. She’s gained a healthy muscle tone back now, but she’s not as well-built as she could/should have been as a result of that time. Put her next to her sister and you’ll see she’s very noticably less bulky.

FAVOURITE

Colour: Pale yellow

Music genre: She’d probably be a fan of classical/orchestral type music, the stuff that doesn’t have any real words or singing. Just something to have on in the background to break up the silence while she works without distracting her concentration with lyrics.

Movie genre: Usually more serious sorts of topics, like crime thrillers, murder mysteries etc. if she’s feeling in a somewhat joking mood (which is rare), sometimes something paranormal-horror (like whatever the Star Wars version of the Exorcist or the Shining would be XD), mostly to annoy the resident ghosts in her head of course - especially her mother, who does not appreciate the humour :’ D

Tv show: Documentaries, particularly those on Ancient Sith culture and/or artefacts. She loves watching them and then grumpily pointing out how wrong nearly every point they make is. Talos joins in once he joins the crew, and later when they reunite it’s one of the things she does with her sister often too.

Drink: Tea with no milk. Will also drink black caf if she needs to stay awake, but she definitely prefers tea if offered a choice between the two.

Book: Perhaps most shocking, arts and crafts monthly ‘zines. Ni’kasi does both knitting and sewing/stitching, so she likes to grab new ideas and patterns out of them. :3

HAVE THEY

Passed university: Yes (assuming graduating the Sith Academy counts as uni)

Had sex: Yes

Had sex in public: Yes (well, not in front of other people specifically, but in a room at the Academy that anybody could have potentially walked into at the time, yes. So I’m counting it hahaha)

Gotten pregnant: Yes (though not until much later, between the end of SoR and the start of KotFE)

Kissed a boy: Yes

Kissed a girl: No

Gotten tattoos: No

Had a broken heart: No

Been in love: Yes

Stayed up for longer then 24 hours: More often than she should. “Kas, come to bed” “No, I’m WORKING” “You’ve been awake for 2 d a y s straight please come to bed” is the most common argument she ever has with Andronikos. XD

ARE THEY

A cuddler:  On occasion, not an outright “yes”, but she’s quite happy to cuddle with Andronikos at night when they sleep (when she does go to bed, see immediately above), also pretty huggy with both her sister and her nephew, but not so much anyone else.

A kisser: Yes, but only with her husband and never in public. She’s not one for glaringly-obvious-in-your-face PDA.

Scared easily: Depending on the situation, sometimes. Leave her locked in a room for longer than 3 minutes and you’ll soon have her flipping the fuck out and trashing it trying to get out. Same with being in water, she is not a fan and she will f r e a k. In terms of threats to her life, though, not really. She’s been through it all, being hit, thrown around etc. doesn’t phase her.

A virgin: No

Jealous easily: Yes. Oh yes. Do not touch her man. She will vibe check you into next year. XD

Trustworthy: Mostly, yes. If she gives you her word, she’ll keep it (provided you don’t stab her in the back first, then you’ll get what’s yours). If you’re a Jedi though...run. She does not like Jedi. At all.

In love: Yes

Single: No

RANDOM QUESTIONS

Have they harmed themselves: No

Thought of suicide: No

Attempted suicide: No

Wanted to kill someone: Yes. Tsâhis, Ffon, Harkun, Zash, Thanaton...she has a loooonggg list. XD Many of which have, in fact, met their end.

Rode a (space) horse: Once, yes. Didn’t care for it, she’d much rather take a speeder hahaha.

Have / had job: Uhhh, being a slave counts right? Probably had various different jobs during that. Then of course as a Dark Councillor once she gets that far,

Have any fears: Losing her sister, small, enclosed spaces (especially being locked in them), loss of control, (deep) water/drowning

FAMILY

Sibling(s): Twin sister, Saarai (Empress of the Eternal Alliance, alive as of 3629 BBY)

Parents: D’leah (mother, killed by Inquisitors in 3689 BBY), Kissai (father, killed by Tenebrae/Vitiate in 3729 BBY), Vowrawn and Abaron (adopted fathers - Vowrawn is her biological uncle, but after both her parents died (and they were reunited when Ni’kasi became a full Sith again), the twins were adopted by Vowrawn and Abaron)

Children: eventually has twins, a boy and a girl named Nawâ and Hyala, with Andronikos, and in the Zephyrverse with Jask she has three children, their eldest daughter Nu’ala, and then twin boys Râzu and Rijker

Pets: A miniature sleen named Kahri (not as big as a standard sleen, Kahri is about the size of a water monitor instead, and very much a lap-lizard (though she can and will defend herself and Ni’kasi and Andronikos if she feels it necessary)

[chaoticspacefam]

These are too much fun, I’m sorry if they’re annoying I love doing them sjkhgdyudgyud

I was tagged by @a-muirehen​ (thank you! :3)

And of course I’m doing Saarai first XD

*Disclaimer/reminder: that my ficverse is CANON-DIVERGENT, so while I’ve tried to stay as true and accurate as possible, the dates (and people involved) are not 100% the same as the official canon, particularly where the pre-Valkorion Empire and his takeover of it are involved. If this bothers you, my fic and my blog are not for you and I ask you to politely scroll past, thank youuuu :3

I forgot to write down a full timeline for myself (d’ooohhh Elven) so I’m still working on it, but I sat and worked out the math for the dates that are mentioned here so they shoouuullddd still be somewhat plausible - though they are still far off from the “canon”. I know. That’s why it’s marked canon-divergent :P

GENERAL name :  Saarai Ahaszaai alias(es) :  Rai to family, partners and close friends, Lord Rubrum (formerly), the Eternal Empress gender :  Female age :  Born Autumn, 3739 BBY (110 as of Onslaught in 3629 BBY) place of birth :  Medriaas, Wild Space spoken languages : High Sith, Sith, Basic, Huttese sexual orientation : Bisexual, polycurious occupation :   Sith Heiress → Sith Lord → Odd jobs/Single parent → Eternal Empress (in my ‘verse the Empress is not the DS option and the Alliance has both an Empress and a Commander, with a Council of trusted Advisors to help them agree on a final decision. Saarai (eventually after dealing with Arcann/Vaylin) controls the Throne and the Fleet whilst Vano, the Commander, manages recruitment and tactics among other things!)

APPEARANCE eye colour : Sulfur yellow hair colour : Dark scarlet height :  6′ 3″ / 192 cm scars :  A thin one across the bridge of her nose, and another cutting diagonally across her lip. Several claw-like gashes across her neck and collarbones (don’t ask how she got them, she won’t tell you. Don’t try and touch them, either.) burns :  Eventually gets a saber burn through her heart, in a confrontation with Tsâhis’ brother in the Zephyrverse AU (the wound itself very nearly killed her, now it’s just a reminder for her to be careful when she’s fighting), in the Subterfugeverse a smaller burn across her shoulder where Senya’s saber clips it during the confrontation before she and Arcann escape overweight :  Yes. But she’s just very bulky, it’s all muscle. Good luck trying to move her if she doesn’t wanna move lol underweight :  No

FAVOURITE colour :  Dark blue music genre :  Somewhat all over the place, she listens to a lot of things, though she’s quite selective on the content of said songs. Tends to like a lot of folk-y type music, as it’s the sort of thing she used to sing to Ty when he was a baby/toddler to calm him down when he got particularly upset.  Old Sith lullabies are another one, but those aren’t likely to be in the main music chain, she still remembers the ones her mother used to sing to her and her sister when they were hiding on Rishi movie genre :  Anything with a (found-)family-centric plotline, doesn’t mind the occasional thriller but tends to prefer movies with happy endings. Gal’s been through a lot, she don’t like anything too morbid. tv show :  Not a particular follower of any series or genre, but she does sit on the Imperial News networks a lot in the hopes of glimpsing some news on any of her family members, after the Alliance is formed and they’re reunited however she does take to watching documentaries (particularly on ancient Sith “culture”, architecture and artefacts) with Ni’kasi so they can gripe about how wrong it is, maybe the occasional romcom (though that’s a guilty pleasure and she’d never admit it XD) food :  Squill liver drink :   juri juice (tends to prefer a non-alcoholic variant of this one. partial to the one made with Rodian blood), sparkwine (though getting that all the way out on Rishi is near-impossible), tarul wine book :  Poetry anthologies, believe it or not. Also quite partial to ancient Sith texts, though those are hard to come by in her part of the galaxy (at least until she reunites with Ni’kasi)

HAVE THEY passed university :  No had sex :  Yes had sex in public :  No gotten pregnant :  Yes kissed a boy :  Yes kissed a girl :  Yes gotten tattoos :  No had a broken heart :  Yes been in love :  Yes stayed up for longer than 24 hours :  Yes

ARE THEY a virgin :  No a cuddler :  Only if she really trusts you, otherwise please do not try and touch her for anything other than a polite handshake. She will throw you across the room. a kisser :  Yes, though only to those she is in a committed relationship with scared easily :  No, only in very specific instances jealous easily :  Somewhat trustworthy :  Mostly, yes. dominant :  Mostly, yes submissive :  Generally, no. If she really trusts you not to hurt her, then she might be, but that’s very veeerryyy unlikely to happen in love :  Yes single :  No

RANDOM QUESTIONS have they harmed themselves :  Not directly, but thought about it once or twice thought of suicide :  Yes attempted suicide :  No (thankfully her sister was there for her) wanted to kill someone :  Yes (lookin’ at you, Arcann and Valkorion) rode a horse : Yes, or...one of the many horse-like things that can be found in Star Wars XD have / had a job :  Yes have any fears :  Yes. Particularly around losing those she cares about (her remaining family, her son, her partner(s)), or unexpected physical touch, particularly in certain places (the scars on her neck/collarbone, for one, any other sort of intimate touch with someone she doesn’t 100% trust)

FAMILY sibling(s) :  Twin sister, Ni’kasi (Darth Occulus, alive as of 3629 BBY) parents :  D’leah (Mother, killed by Inquisitors in 3689 BBY), Kissai (Father, killed by Tenebrae/Vitiate in 3729 BBY), Abaron and Vowrawn (adopted fathers, after the death of both her parents - Vowrawn is her biological uncle and for all intents and purposes adopted the twins after his sister’s death. Even if neither knew where the other was for many years.) children :  Tyûk (son), and in the Zephyrverse AU she and Sash have another daughter, Mait’essh pets :  No

and I shall tag (if you feel like it, no pressure! feel free to ignore if you don’t feel like it) @rainofaugustsith , @mercurypilgrim , @stratosara​ , @anchanted-one​ , @sunstriderlegacy​ and anybody else reading this that wants to do it!

[ryder-s-block]

Jaig Eyes (Ch 39)

Jaig Eyes (39/?)

A Clone Wars fanfic

Summary:

Kida, a former slave who now thrives as a bounty hunter, finds herself sucked into the war she advised Jango Fett against. Now that she's involved, she has to finally mourn the loss of Jango, seeing his face in the clones that man the GAR. What happens when she allows herself to get attached to one, not for his resemblance to her former mentor, but for his heart?

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Chapter Thirty-Nine: The Kissai

I’d wanted to set out that night to find the crystal Darth Bane had spoke of. Everything in me was itching for power...for the power he had the ability to show me. 

Finally I had a master that I had chosen. One that was going to show me my place in everything. Give me a purpose. Guide me towards a better future...towards something more than just myself.

Still, as I had exited the tomb into the chilly desert night, I found the planet crawling with Dark Side presence. I may have been learning more...but I still felt fear. I knew that the creature I’d seen prowling above in the destroyed structures was not alone. And I knew that I could not fight them all, especially in the dark.

This place was unfamiliar. As I’d left behind the presence of Darth Bane and returned to my shuttle, his commanding presence had begun to recede. I’d felt him weakening in his tomb, as if physically revealing himself required a lot of effort. Even his presence in my mind had disappeared, drawing back to his sarcophagus. 

I’d felt less angry in that moment. Less powerful. It upset me, but I felt drained. My sense of powerful resolve diminished, revealing it as cockiness, rather than true confidence. 

My doubts began to creep in. Was I really that angry at Rex? Back on the Republic ship, I’d been more sad. Even thinking back, I recognized the remnants of my use of the Dark Side that had fueled my anger at him. Having felt Bane’s real presence, I recognized his whispers in my mind as I faced the man I…cared for...deeply.

I shook my doubts away. Did it matter? 

No matter our feelings in any capacity, Rex and I couldn’t be together. It was a foolish thought, even before my heritage was discovered. Before I could openly use the Force.

I rubbed my eyes as the sun began to rise, stirring me from my relaxed reflection within my shuttle. As I’d said...I’d wanted to look the night before, but had found my wisdom somewhere deep down and elected to rest in the enclosed safety of my ship instead.

Now, with the sun casting an orange glow over the planet’s dusty surface, I emerged again, armed with my pistols. The surface was dusty as the wind swirled, prodding me to pull my mask up around my mouth and nose, donning my goggles. 

The part of me that was connected to the Force told me of the creatures that still lurked in the valley, though they seemed to be giving me a wide berth, despite curiosity. I felt that they had their own purposes, and perhaps it didn’t pertain to me.

I tried to reach out with the Force to locate crystals. I had felt the crystals in the Darksaber, which was hopeful beneath an endless sea of bloodlust. And then there was Obi-wan and Anakin’s, both of which had pulsed with the Light Side. And even the Mandalorian blade had once been that of a jedi. Despite its tainted past, it wasn’t a sith blade. It wasn’t a synthesized crystal--one made by the Dark Side like Bane had mentioned.

How did I look for that?

I was surprised when I opened myself that I felt kyber crystals. Many of them. And they were screaming. 

I followed the sounds within my mind, wary of the four-legged predators that loomed in the structures around me, their glowing eyes watching cautiously. After clambering over stones the size of starfighters that had fallen from the crumbling statues, I found what had been calling to me.

Or, at least, it felt like I did. I stood in the entrance to what looked like another tomb, its entrance broken and torn. Whoever had been here before had raided the place...whenever that was. By the looks of the erosion on the broken stone doorway, I guessed it was a long time ago. 

Already my eyes found the smallest glimmer of metal beneath the shifting sand. Digging it free, I was met with a sturdy looking lightsaber hilt, the metal worn and rusted with age. Inside, I felt a kyber crystal. I recoiled at its nature. Its power practically hissed at me, making me lunge back and drop the blade. It landed with a heavy-sounding thud in the sand-filled corridor, my heart racing.

It had shown me death. The souls it had reaped when wielded by its dark master. The crystal was synthetic, I knew, forged by the power of the Dark Side.

Darth Bane had said there was a crystal calling to me. This one had practically slapped me away. 

While I was curious about the lightsaber, I decided to forge on. I was about to turn away from the tomb in search of more of the calling crystals when my eyes caught a shadow of movement.

I rolled to cover immediately, drawing my pistols to aim into the darkness. I would have spoken, had I thought anything sentient still lived on the planet. Bane...Bane didn’t count as living.

The presence receded down the dark hall, the sound of fabric sliding gently over stone reaching my ears. My heart in my throat, I debated pursuing the shadow. It was likely one of those creatures that lurked outside. Then again, I’d heard fabric and was certainly sounded like only two, particularly light-footed steps.

Suddenly, a shadow shifted again, my fingers squeezing the triggers before my mind even thought. Two blasts lit up the hallway for a split second, revealing a female humanoid clad in flowing robes. The blasts met her before we fell back into darkness.

I quickly turned on my flashlight, searching for the downed female...only to find no trace of her. I was sure my shots had hit her...they were aimed right at her chest.

The Force flickered in my mind, making me turn with a start to see her at the end of the hall again, her posture elegant and proper. “Stebe,” she whispered in a tongue I didn’t understand. Still, she didn’t seem threatening, despite her red skin and glowing yellow eyes. It occurred to me that she was likely a Sith Pureblood, given her bone spurs protruding from her brows and jawbone. “Stebe,” she repeated, motioning with her hand before disappearing.

I started as she more or less dissolved under the beam of my flashlight, only to appear again further down the corridor. She gestured again. “Stebe.” 

I didn’t understand her language, but I could tell she was telling me to follow her. My gut told me to do it too.

I listened.

My feet led me carefully down the corridor, following the echoing sounds of her voice. It was soft, despite the hard sounds of her language. Her presence felt...old. As did the signature of the tomb itself. I wondered if it was her tomb for a moment.

My boots caught on something, nearly sending me sprawling forward. Catching myself on the stone structures that lined the walls, my flashlight swept back to reveal bones. Old, holding no sign of flesh left apart from a few tattered remains of a robe. There were deep gauges on some of the bones--teeth marks from something big--likely those creatures that lurked outside.

Goosebumps rose on along my arms at the thought that I may have trapped myself inside with one of them. Or that this apparition I was following had perished while raiding this tomb, rather than being the one laid to rest in it.

Parts of the passage had crumbled, leading me to an intersection of what looked like dead ends. I turned my gaze to the female Pureblood, seeing her walk gracefully through one of the crumbled halls as if nothing blocked her path. I followed as far as I could, peering through one of the sizable holes to see her on the other side in the darkness.

“Tu zinot tukodi visitija stai,” she said from the other side. I had no idea what she was saying, so I rolled my eyes, frustrated.

“There’s no way in there,” I called back, unsure if she could understand me either.

To my suprise, the Pureblood returned my expression, seeming equally as frustrated. “Tu zinot midwan. Elgtis zhol.” While I couldn’t understand her words, she gestured to the crumbled doorway with enough frustration and emotion that I could gather that she wanted me to figure it out anyways.

I stood back, thinking to what Bane had taught me in our first lesson together. He had made me move stones larger than these...by tapping into my anger. Still, when I had left Bane’s presence, my anger had lessened significantly. While this planet was pulsing with Dark Side power, I couldn’t find the rage Bane had found in his tomb chambers.

Yet, I reached out with the Force and found the connection easier now, letting my frustration with this female flow. The rocks shifted--slower than they had with Bane’s help--but they moved nonetheless. I merely slid a few sideways, nervous to move the whole lot in case they were holding the structure up. 

The last thing I wanted was to be buried alive on this forsaken planet. Slipping past the remaining stones, century-old dust staining my armor, I entered the next room. The moment I stepped foot inside, I nearly leapt backwards in fright, fires springing to life.

Lining the edges of the room--which I now understood housed a stone sarcophagus--were metal bowls alight with flames. I didn’t know how they lit, but I figured it had something to do with the Pureblood before me. She stood near the sarcophagus, looking down at it with an expression I couldn’t comprehend.

“Is it you?” I asked slowly, watching the female’s searing gaze lift to me. She shook her head. Ah...so she could understand me. “Who is it?” 

Her words, while accented, were certainly not in the Sith tongue. She spoke a name with venom on her tongue, as if the words hurt her physically. “Sorzus Syn.” I didn’t know the name, but the room nearly trembled with the words.

“Who was she?” I asked, but the Pureblood merely looked at me sadly, as if not sure what she thought of me yet. She shook her head slowly, her lips pressed together, before stepping around to the opposite side of the sarcophagus. 

“Stebe,” she said again, gesturing to the stone coffin. I approached slowly, wary due to my last encounter with an undead sith. When I neared, she gestured to the stone lid, as if asking me to remove it.

“No way,” I grumbled, taking half a step back. “That’s a one-way ticket to getting cursed.” Yet, something whispered from within the sarcophagus. It called to me. It wasn’t a kyber crystal...so what was it?

The Pureblood gave me a look of disbelief at my worries, shaking her head with a roll of her eyes.

“Alright, fine fine,” I grumbled again, planting my feet to push the heavy lid aside. “If I get cursed, you’re the first one I’m coming after, though.” I only pushed the top half aside, a foul stench lifting from it as I did. Steadying the top so it didn’t clatter and break on the floor, I leaned back from the smell as the Pureblood looked inside.

Her red nose crinkled in disgust, her yellow eyes full of unshed tears--tears of sadness or anger, I couldn’t tell. When she met my gaze again, they were gone. She pointed into the sarcophagus to a talisman that sat around the corpse’s neck. It pulsed with power, but it frightened me. I knew it was dangerous.

The Pureblood gestured again, more urgently this time. “Vykti zhol!” 

I swallowed slowly, reaching into the sarcophagus to draw the talisman free. It was on a chain that had once been around the female’s neck. A red stone sat in the middle, seeming to glow in the firelight. Around the center were six metallic triangular wedges, each engraved with symbols I didn’t know. It was heavier than I thought it would be.

“Tu aras tave wo kuris uud girdim tave visita,” the Pureblood said, looking at me as I regarded the talisman.

“What?” I asked, getting annoyed, but feeling the power of the talisman in my hands. “I can’t understand--”

She cut me off with a lift of her hand, her face set firmly. “Tu aras tave wo has heard the call.”

I blinked. “What did you just say?”

“You are the one who has heard the call.”

“You’re speaking basic.”

“No,” she responded, offering me her first smile. “You are merely finally understanding.” It occurred to me that she was still speaking Sith. Beneath the words I understood in my mind, I could still hear her harsh language. I was about to question how that was even remotely possible without a language implant when she cut in. “The talisman,” she said softly. “It was called the Sith Abattar by Sorzus Syn.”

“And it...translates?”

She nodded. “Put it on.”

I obeyed, feeling a heavy weight on my neck as soon as the chain hit it. “It’s heavy,” I complained slightly, more out of surprise than actual annoyance.

“As all power is,” she responded. “It allows one to communicate in any language, and makes it easier to converse with the dead.”

“Are you...dead?” 

“Of course.”

“But you’re not…” I gestured to the corpse in the sarcophagus. 

“No,” the Pureblood spit as I slowly slid the lid closed again, having retrieved what we apparently needed. “Sorzus was no Pureblood.”

“Who was she?”

“A fallen jedi. One of the first to come to this planet and enslave my people. And the one to discover how we could crossbreed.” The last part seemed to upset her even more so than the enslavement.

“You were there, weren’t you,” I asked, feeling her emotions through the Force. “You witnessed the rise of the Sith Empire. The enslavement of your people.”

“Yes. My name is Yilria. I was a Kissai when I lived.”

That rang a bell. The scholar, Veris Hydan, had mentioned the classes of the Purebloods.

“You were a priest. I was told I descended from them.”

“You did,” Yilria said slowly, her eyes watching me. “What is your name, half-breed?”

My eyebrow arched immediately. “Watch it,” I growled. Even though half-breed was likely giving me more leeway than I deserved--considering I was more like a smidge sith and a whole lot of everything else--but I still didn’t like to be insulted. “My name is Kida.” The Pureblood watched me carefully as I looked around the room. “Why did you show this to me?” I asked, gesturing to the amulet.

“So we could communicate. And so that I could help you find what you’re looking for.”

That peaked my interest. “You know where the crystal is that I’m supposed to find?”

She shrugged slightly. “I’m not positive, but I have a good idea about what you’re meant to find.”

“How?”

“The lightsaber of your ancestor is in this very tomb. Elsewhere, of course, but I am willing to guide you.”

“My ancestor… wait why are you helping me?”

Yilria stopped in her slow pacing towards the door. The Force rippled in sadness and anger. “My people were enslaved. Wronged.”

“You want revenge? How can I give that to you?”

“No. The chance for revenge was lost long ago,” she sighed. “I merely wish to keep more from enslavement.”

I followed her warily, finding no lies in her words. She moved easily through the debris of the inner parts of the tomb, while I clambered over them in the dim light of my flashlight. “I hate to break it to you,” I huffed as I climbed over a particularly large fallen rock. “But I was a slave once already, so you’re not going to save me from anything.”

“Are you a slave now?”

“Well...no. Thankfully, I was freed years ago.”

Yilria turned to me abruptly, nearly making me run into her. I wasn’t sure if I’d actually make contact with her or run right through her...but I didn’t really want to find out. Her gaze was intense as she watched me. “Did you free yourself?”

“Um...no ma’am. A bounty hunter did.”

“Then you are not truly free.”

“I beg your pardon?” I asked, frustrated by this woman as I followed her again. “I’m a respected bounty hunter. No one would dare enslave me.”

“Yet here you are,” she said softly as she entered a circular room, a pedestal in the center. Again, the torches along the walls lit as we entered.

I wanted to ask what she had meant by that, but was drawn by the soft whisper of a kyber crystal. It was sad. Lost. Alone. 

On the pedestal laid a Sith burial shroud, neatly folded and tucked beneath scrolls and a shining lightsaber hilt. I lifted the lightsaber easily, the dust falling away under my touch. The kyber crystal wasn’t happy...but it wasn’t upset at me either. It’s unhappiness didn’t stem from me. It was...bleeding. Injured.

I immediately understood that this was a real crystal, like the jedi had used for centuries. Yet, as I ignited it, the blade glowed red. Still, I knew it was my lightsaber. It was my crystal that I was destined to connect to.

“Thank you,” I whispered as I sheathed the blade. Yet, as the red glow disappeared, as did the flaming torches. I was left in darkness with only my memory to guide me out. Yilria, the Pureblood Kissai, was gone.

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Author’s Note:

I apologize for taking forever to update. A lot going on right now. Hoping to get back to writing more often if I can!

I also chose not to have the Sith translations because Kida didn’t understand either.

As always, reposts, shares, likes, and reviews are welcome!

-Ryder