#younghyun au

[marieanneline]

tddk music artist au where their love language is singing each others songs at their own concert

[dearly-somber]

I Know I’m A Wolf | k.yh | day6

-> pairing. idol!younghyun x possessive! werewolf!reader (f)

-> genre. werewolf!au, yandere

-> rating. 16+

-> w/c. 552

-> warnings. dub-con vibes: yandere-type thinking and behavior; possessive, territorial and obsessive behavior; animalistic behavior

-> a/n. I got this song from a really good YouTube animatic called “Dear Rabbit” by Frumpy Doggy which heavily inspired the overall vibes for this.

-> collection. songfic

-> started. Sept. 11th, 2020 @ 14:30

-> fin. ???

-> edited. Aug. 21st, 2021 @ 22:14

<LISTEN TO THE SONG HERE!>

You watch Younghyun from amidst the crowd, your eyes focused on his every move, however subtle. The want to claim him for yourself is strong—overpowering even.

The crowd cheered, and you saw how Brian turned to look at you. You met eyes with him, your hands clenched as you let out something short of a snarl, wanting to chase after him then and there. You saw fear flash before his eyes, watching as he shivered before shakily continuing on with his verse. His eyes darting to you throughout the rest of the song, heart beating just a little faster each time.

You continued watching him, his smell intoxicating, making you close your eyes blissfully. You smiled to yourself, eyes fluttering. He'd be yours soon, you knew. Just you wait, you thought expectantly.

•••

It's been two weeks since his last showcase.

You still haven't made your move, but the urge to claim him was getting stronger, and it's been depriving you of your sleep. Every waking moment was spent thinking of him. It would take one bite. One simple bite, to claim him for yourself and show others he was yours.

Your wolf was prancing at just the thought of it. He was right there, looking so out in the open. So vulnerable. Just waiting for you to run to him—

It took only a second to realize that there was another wolf nearby. Your eyes immediately landed on them, a low snarl escaping your lips, making the MyDay around you turn around with wide, frightened eyes.

It's now or never, you thought, snapping your gaze back to Younghyun. You leapt forward, people screaming as they saw your golden, glowing eyes, the animalistic growl emmiting from deep within your chest sending shivers down their spines. Brian yelled, trying to back up but falling over a cable, crawling away desperately. Sungjin and Jae were quickly scurrying to find security, Wonpil and Dowoon shouting from somewhere to the left of you, sounding just as frightened as the others. You could hear Brian's heart hammering against his chest in a panicked frenzy, his eyes wide with fear.

You crouched down, hovering over him with glowing eyes. He was panting, tears brimming in the corner of his eyes. "Please," he begged you in a shaky voice, "Please, leave me alone—"

"Oh, my poor thing..." You cooed, gently taking his chin in your hands to tilt his head back, exposing his neck for you to admire.

"You'll be fine, my dear rabbit." You muttered quietly, throwing your head back to lunge forward. You bit into his neck, your canines leaving a simmering red mark while simultaneously sending Younghyun writhing underneath you, the pain he was feeling unbearable. It felt like you had injected something into his system, something that was eating him inside out. Pulling away, you lick gently at the wound, Younghyun crying and whimpering beneath you as he tried to push you off of him, but to no avail.

"I'm sorry, dear rabbit. You're alright now.~" You hum, licking one last time at the wound before kissing the marked spot, pulling away to stare at his tear stained face fondly.

"Your wolf will take good care of you..." You whisper with a smile, Younghyun's eyes flashing a bright yellow, a strangled gasp leaving his throat.

[just-some-random-blogger]

kpop masterlist

🍓 = fluff themes

❄️ = angst themes

🚧 = smut themes

🤸‍♀️ = slice of life / bish idek what theme this is

🚀 = crack fic themes

🎩 = dark and/or violent themes

🏩 = genre fic, i.e. mystery, horror, fantasy, etc

🍳 = slow burn

🦕 = personal favorite

back to main masterlist

A.C.E.

Memory | 🍓❄️🦕 Kim Byeongkwan x Reader + Park Junhee x Reader (University AU) [Blurb]

Ateez

Only One | 🍓❄️❄️❄️🍳🦕 CEO!Choi San x Reader

BigBang

It’s An Act [WBU I] | ❄️ Choi Seunghyun (TOP) x Reader

Smoke | 🍓🤸‍♀️ Choi Seunghyun (TOP) x Reader

BTS

Runaway | 🍓❄️🏩 Mafia!Kim Seokjin (Jin) x Reader (Mafia AU) Preview 1 2 3 4 x

Mah Boyfriend | 🍓🍓🤸‍♀️🦕 Jung Jungkook x Idol!Reader

BTOB

Hidden Heart | 🍓🍓🍓🤸‍♀️🚀🍳 Lee Minhyuk (HUTA) x Idol!Reader [Headcanon]

Day6

A University Dilemma | 🤸‍♀️ Kang Younghyun (Young-K) x Reader (Univeristy AU)

What A Joke | ❄️ Kang Younghyun (Young K) x Reader + Park Jaehyung x Reader (University AU) [Blurb]

So... Haha... I Like You | 🍓🦕 Park Jaehyung x Reader (Fake Dating AU)

EXO

Wheel Of Fortune | 🍓🍳🚀 Park Chanyeol x Reader [Headcanon]

Welcome To The Jungle | 🚀🚀🚀🏩 Park Chanyeol & Oh Sehun (Jungle AU)

Maybe We Still Have A Shot [WBU III] | 🍓🍓🏩 CatHybid!Oh Sehun x Reader (University AU)

Unrequited Attraction | 🚧🏩🍳🦕 Mafia!Kim Jongdae (Chen) x Retail Worker!Reader

Color Palette | 🍓 Byun Baekhyun x Reader [Blurb]

Brown Leaves | 🍓 Kim Jongin (Kai) x Reader (University AU)

GOT7

One Million In One Day | 🍓🍓❄️❄️🍳 Sugar Daddy!Jackson Wang x Reader Preview ~ Alternate Moodboard ~ Moodboard Teaser  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 

Car Rides | 🍓 Jackson Wang x Reader [Blurb]

Juice Box | 🍓🚀🏩🦕 Kunpimook Bhuwakul Bambam x Reader [Blurb] (Pre-Schooler AU)

Somewhere In Between | ❄️❄️Civil Engineer!Park Jinyoung x Reader + Architect!Henry Lau x Reader

Trading Secrets | 🍓🍓 Kim Yugyeom x WangSis!Reader

JYJ

Winning Losses | ❄️ Kim Jaejoong x Idol!Reader

Monsta X

Introspect | 🍓🤸‍♀️ Lee Jooheon x Reader [Blurb]

Letting Off Steam | 🤸‍♀️ Lee Hoseok (Wonho) x ArtStudent!Reader (University AU)

NCT

Seventeen

December Dates | 🍓🚀 bf!Seventeen x Reader [Headcanon]

The Stroke Of Midnight | 🍓❄️🏩🦕 Mafia!Kwon Soonyoung (Hoshi) x Reader

Here's My Problem: I Can't Get You Out Of My Head | ❄️❄️❄️🎩🎩🎩🏩🍳🦕 Detective!Jeon Wonwoo x Actress!Reader

10 Ways To Get Over Gyu | 🍓❄️❄️❄️🍳🍳🦕 Kim Mingyu x Reader + others (Childhood AU)

Half Of My Heart | 🍓❄️🤸‍♀️🍳 Kim Mingyu x Reader + Jeon Wonwoo x Reader (CEO AU)

On A Thread | ❄️❄️ CEO!Joshua Hong (Hong Jisoo) x Nurse!Reader

SF9

A Final Offering | 🍓🍓❄️🏩🦕 Deity!Kim Inseong & Child!Reader + Baek Juho (Zuho) x Mom  

What Does It Mean? | 🍓❄️🤸‍♀️ Kim Inseong x Reader + Lee Jaeyoon x Reader (University AU) 

16th Floor | 🍓🤸‍♀️ Kim Seokwoo (Rowoon) x Reader (Office AU)

SHINee

Understand This |❄️ Choi Minho x Reader I Don’t Understand [Understand This II] | ❄️ Choi Minho x Reader

It’s All A Big Joke [WBU II] | ❄️ Lee Taemin x Reader

Th-that’s Not | ❄️❄️🚧🦕 Lee Taemin x Reader Regrets [Th-that’s Not II] | ❄️ Lee Taemin x Reader

Angel Bride | ❄️🚧🏩🦕 Pirate!Lee Taemin x Reader

Noona, You're So Pretty | 🍓 Lee Taemin x Noona!Reader

Stray Kids

Professional Boundaries | 🍓❄️🚧🦕 CEO!Bang Chan x Pre-School Teacher!Reader + CEO!Hwang Hyunjin x Pre-School Teacher!Reader 1 2 3 4 

Bootylicious | 🍓🚀 Bang Chan x Idol!Reader

Super Junior

The Soup | 🍓🍓🚀🚀 SuJu x SuJu Maknae!Reader [Headcanon]

Secrets Of A Maknae | 🍓🚀🚀 Kim Heechul x SuJuMaknae!Reader

The Boyz

Gentle With Me | 🍓🍓🤸‍♀️ Lee Sangyeon x Reader

TVXQ!

Pitter-Patter | 🍓 Jung Yunho (U-Know) x Reader (Pre-School Teacher AU)

The Art Of Deception | ❄️🎩🏩 Shim Changmin x Reader (Secret Agent/Spy AU)

TXT

Forget About It | 🍓❄️🤸‍♀️🍳🦕 Choi Soobin x Reader (University AU)  

WINNER

I’m Not Playing | 🍓❄️❄️ Gangster!Song Minho (Mino) x Reader 1 2 3 

[erreversible]

mind reading au [youngpil]

WIP day6 fic young k/wonpil

preview:

“What did you just say?” Younghyun asks, over the swooping freefall of his insides. The sound of his own voice, the loud chatter in the restaurant, the sizzle of the meat on the grill between them — all suddenly sound very far away. His skin feels prickly, hot, then cold, then hot again. It feels like a nightmare.

He’s so off kilter it takes him a second to realize Wonpil hadn’t actually spoken out loud.

“Mm?” Wonpil doesn’t seem to notice Younghyun had just read his mind. He’s utterly immersed in looking for the next thing to put on his plate, hands clasped before his chest.

Look up, Younghyun thinks at him.

Of course, Wonpil can’t hear him. After surveying the cluttered table, he finally picks up his glass of beer and stares into it. Tipsy already, going by the pink of his ears.

“Wonpil-ah,” Younghyun says.

“Mm.”

“Look here for a second.”

“Why?” Wonpil asks, but he does. Their eyes meet.

Warmth. That’s what hits him first, square in the chest. It’s familiar, the same kind of warmth Younghyun feels on quiet nights when it’s just the two of them and they get talk about the things they never talk about during the day. But underneath that warmth, there’s a current of prickly dread, mirroring Younghyun’s. A thundering heartbeat. Fear and anticipation mixing into a dizzying sludge. Then comes the vague shape of a thought:

Say it again.

“Wonpil-ah,” Younghyun says instinctively. Wonpil blinks in surprise, eyes quickly flicking away, but not before Younghyun catches that — a flush of pleasure crawling liquid down Wonpil’s spine. The shadow of it fades fast, leaving Younghyun cold.

His arm moves on its own, finding his cup of somaek and raising it. “Cheers.”

“Ah. Cheers,” Wonpil murmurs, biting his lip.

Fuck. Younghyun tilts his head back and downs the glass.

to be continued…

[redpiperfox]

was rereading rosette, and your author's note mentions that you chose specific characters for specific roles. i am VERY curious about All Of Them, i cant pick just one, so i'll leave you with the jurisdiction of choosing which ones to talk about? or you could mention all of them... haha jk unless

tldr: GIVE ME THE INSIDER INFOOOO

Just so you know how much I waffled this answer, I've currently been text-character-limit blocked on my response O.o Did not know there was a limit, but uh, I reached it trying to reply >.<

Will give you the answer over a couple of reblogs!:

I saw Rosette and my heart started racing, I clutched my pearls, I needed to sit down, I AM NOT NORMAL ABOUT THAT FIC ToT

I could Actually write endless essays about so many little details of that work... so much went into it, and I have to remind myself that I need to remind myself that the streets aren't aware of how Insane I am, and that is probably for the better XP

BUT YOU ASKED AND I SHALL DELIVER SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO:

Hwang family: other than the obvious of all the characters featured in the extended family home 2hwang grow up in sharing the surname "Hwang," I picked dancers and the sort of connections that reflect canon. Niki looking up to Hyunjin and following in that legacy (yeah, I know he's not a "real" Hwang, but my au so I do what I want XD), SinB [Hwang Eunbi] as the kindest to them as the pioneer in 4th gen dancing gems. Also, the name Eunbi gives me mother-hen visions from my time knee-deep in Iz*one so XD

Hometown village: I had decided I needed to save all of SkzItzy for the new village they move to, which left me with the current village to fill of good friends, but not found family people. Aespa was an obvious choice as Itzy's irl friends, and I decided to dust in Enhypen members since I already had Niki. "Taeyhyung" was a generic enough name that I didn't feel like I was villainizing any particular boy group member XD Picking 2PM's Wooyoung was probably my favorite part of the hometown village-- it's been so sweet watching him be this JYP mentor figure for all of skz publically since Kingdom, and for the group personally since much before from what Chan's told us. This "respectable gentleman" figure who's removed enough from current happenings seemed to fit him really well.

Foster family: [giggles] Okay so SeungBin being siblings? Absolutely completely canon, Seungmin is such an annoying younger brother and Changbin takes the preachy protective older brother so well, and making them the first thoughtful and concerned people 2hwang meet was the perfect way to build them into the new village. I built the rest of the family around them: Chaeryeong is already Changbin's annoying baby sister confirmed XP Sunmi was easy to fit next to them, I think of Chaeryeong as sort of the next generation Sunmi performance wise, and Seungmin is always joked as being the role Sunmi was in teasing the company and JYP himself. Younghyun I knew needed to be central in someway, and as a very involved, very well known and respected idol of his generation who has so much history and present influence in the company, I put him right in the center as an older adult who makes the village feel like home.

[unmanageable-day]

days gone by | chapter 4

previous chapter → next

summary. after a typical break-up, your cousin tried to set you up with his friend who happened to just broke up recently as well. after months, you knew it wouldn’t end well and the universe agreed, as suddenly he went m.i.a and it was easier for you to live being free and single. until one day he texted you again…

genre. social media!AU, fake dating!AU / angsty (still trying to find spots to add some fluff)

pairing. DAY6 Young K (Kang Younghyun) x female reader

[fallinnflower]

the witch & the nine-tailed fox - 2

young k x reader (kumiho!au, historical-fantasy!au, drama)

wc: 9k

tw: mentions of death and illness

a/n: hiiiii so it's been a while! i know i was talking about vampire bambam (and DPR Ian which lays the groundwork for that one and needs to be finished first... it's all still in the works i promise!) the original inspiration behind this sequel was "guard you," and now somehow this cute little part 2 has turned out to be longer than the first installment. thank you to everyone who still reads my work, it means so much to me. i hope you like this part 2 and if you're curious about my WIPs (i have so many. genuinely over 100 things in various states of incompletion.) feel free to ask!

"Younghyun-ah, Y/N-ah! Come in and eat now!" You both lift your heads at Eunji’s call, her voice ringing out over the valley that serves as your front lawn. 

"Coming!" you call back, hurriedly uprooting the last herb you'd spotted before straightening your back to look for Younghyun. 

You find him walking out of the woods, not disheveled in the slightest aside from the dirt on his hands. A wry smile curls across your lips as you swipe at your sweaty brow with the back of your hand, pushing stray hairs from your eyes. 

"What did you find?" you ask, peering around Younghyun's shoulder to see into his basket as you fall into step with him. He chuckles and nudges you with his elbow. 

"Focus on walking or you'll trip, Y/N-ah." You pout, pondering it for a moment before snatching the basket from his hands. In his surprise he doesn't manage to stop you, merely letting out a sigh as you rifle through it while walking. As you count the herbs under your breath, Younghyun's hand gently comes to rest on your elbow, guiding you around a hole in your path. 

"Thanks," you say, shooting him a quick smile before continuing with your count. He nods, keeping his eyes ahead and his hand on your elbow as you near Eunji's residence. The heat rises up on your cheeks when he doesn't pull away, and you press your lips together tightly to keep your smile concealed even though neither he nor Eunji are looking your way. 

Once you both get to the door, toeing your shoes off, Younghyun makes a beeline for where Eunji is hunched over the table. You watch fondly, looking up through your lashes while you bow your head and pretend to be counting herbs still, as he coaxes the utensils and dishes out of her hands, taking over for the old woman you both love dearly. It warms your heart to see the way Eunji fakes her exasperation with him but allows him to take over the task anyways. 

When you first brought Younghyun home, you'd been afraid of what everyone's reaction would be — Eunji included. However, despite his sharp features and often strange mannerisms, he instantly charmed all the villagers as he helped to administer the new medicine to them at your side. Eunji herself had been the one to suggest he remain in the hut, inviting him into the small family the two of you constituted. He had quickly slotted himself into your lives as though he belonged there, eager to make himself useful and far more adaptable than anyone could have expected. From gardening to cleaning and cooking, Younghyun managed to be good at everything and consistently in good spirits about even the most menial tasks. Eunji, recognizing his eagerness and potential, had begun teaching him how to make certain medicines and prepare materials for the two of you.

"Did you find enough?" Eunji asks, as the two of you make your way inside. 

"Yes, plenty," you reply, smiling. You set your basket aside and head towards where your mentor is busy cooking, inhaling deeply as you approach. Setting a hand on Eunji’s shoulder, you lean even closer to the cookware. "Ah, it smells so good!"

"Get away from there, you’ll get burned!" Eunji scolds you, gently pushing you back. With an exaggerated pout, you start to whine, but are interrupted by a light tug at your sleeve. 

"She’s right," Younghyun says. "You should be more careful." His expression, when you turn to look at him, is almost painfully earnest, his eyes filled with genuine concern as he looks at you. You can’t help but find it endearing.

"I know, I know. I’m sorry," you reply. "But even if I did get hurt, the two of you would nurse me back to health, wouldn’t you?" 

"Nurse you? I’m too old for that sort of thing, child," Eunji scoffs. "You should be the one nursing me, after all these years." You look to Younghyun, and he only offers your a half-hearted smile,

"I won’t be much help on my own." You let out an exaggerated sigh.

"I guess I have no choice then," you say. "I promise I’ll be more careful. Maybe."

Eunji swats at your shoulder once again, but you pay little mind to her scolding as you dissolve into laughter. Younghyun looks between the two of you, uncertain of whose side to take, and you bask in the warmth of the home you’ve made. 

It may be unconventional, but you don’t care. Everything feels just right.

Most evenings (when the weather is mild) find you and Younghyun outside and wandering — giving Eunji some much-needed solitude before the winter shuts you all in together. The late autumn chill is more brisk than biting, and so you find yourself (with Younghyun following your lead, as though it’s the most natural thing in the world) headed through the woods towards the crest of a hill where the view of the sunset is best. You stretch your arms up to the sky, loosening the tension in your spine before you take a seat on the grass. Younghyun carefully takes his place beside you, hands almost touching at your sides. 

"We’ll head back once the sun starts setting," you say, well aware of your companion’s tendency to worry for your safety. You turn to him with a playful smile tugging at the corners of your mouth, 

"That should give Eunji a long enough break, I think." Younghyun chuckles and leans back on his hands, and you silently admire his profile for a moment. Despite the spirit leaving him, he still looks very fox-like — his sharp features give him an otherworldly handsomeness that would intimidate you if you didn’t know how soft he really was. 

"You know her well," he muses. It feels more as though he’s thinking out loud than anything else, but you choose to reply, turning away before your stare becomes too obvious.

"Well, I’ve known her most of my life." 

"You’ve been with her a long time," Younghyun agrees, thinking back to what he already knows about your relationship. "She’s almost like your mother."

"Hm, in a way…" You trail off, gaze on the horizon. "She raised me, but Eunji is… more than family," you say resolutely, gaze trained on the almost-setting sun. You can feel Younghyun's eyes on you, but you don't mind it — you just don’t feel the need to return his gaze. Not when the sky is so lovely. 

"What's your family like?" he asks, softly. You let out a short, awkward laugh, reaching up to twist the end of your braid around your nervous fingers. 

"Oh," you start. "Well, I don't really know them that well. Not that we don't get along!" You turn to Younghyun to emphasize your point, 

"I still make time to see them whenever I'm in their village, but, you know, Eunji raised me. My family and I are more like friends."

"I always wondered how you ended up with Eunji," he says, words slow and thoughtful. "But I worried that it might be a painful story, because of your family."

"Oh, no, nothing like that," you reply with a wave of your hand. You draw your knees up to your chest and cross your arms atop them, resting your cheek there as your gaze becomes unfocused in the haze of memory. 

"When I was very young, it became clear to everyone that I was different from the other children. My parents were so worried that they brought me to Eunji, and she was the one who discovered I had magical abilities, just like her." A fond smile makes its way across your face, and Younghyun feels his chest tighten for just a moment. 

"Did Eunji take you on as an apprentice then?"

"No," you chuckle. "Eunji is an independent person, as I'm sure you've noticed. She encourages that in other people, so she didn't even offer to take me. Later, when my powers were manifesting even more strongly, my parents brought me to her again. Even then, Eunji wouldn’t teach me any magic unless I asked her — and it just happened that I admired her so much that I asked all the time for her to teach me things." You pause and turn your face back to Younghyun, smiling wistfully. 

"If I had told her I didn't want to learn any magic, she would have accepted that. She would have shown me how to keep it under control and then sent me right back to my parents. But I wanted this life, I chose it.

"So, Eunji is… she’s more than my mentor, too. She’s like a mother, and an aunt, and a sister, and a best friend. She’s been my protector and provider, and, more than anyone else in the world, she's made me who I am. Somehow, I think she knows everything about me, even more than I do." 

Younghyun watches as you turn your gaze back to the setting sun, your skin awash in golden-red light. The tender expression in your face is warmer than any sunlight, he thinks. Ever since your first meeting, he had felt you were something of a mystery — a force of nature in and of yourself — but as he came to know Eunji he felt he was coming to know you, as well. He often found himself searching for the answers to his questions about you in her, his inexperience leaving him unsure of how to ask you those questions outright. 

As he loses himself in the sight of you, he feels a surge of emotion run through him: first, his fondness for you, an ever-growing affection that both thrills and alarms him; and second, the cold, unsettling chill of his own inadequacy. Even sat as you are, looking so small and delicate, you seem as grounded and certain as a mountain, strong-willed and clear-minded. 

Sometimes, he thinks that he was only made a gumiho so that he could wait for you to come to him. 

As the twilight begins to settle in, he notices bemusedly that you've fallen asleep sitting beside him. He can't help but marvel at you, a girl unafraid to sleep in the open valley, the same girl who ascended the dangerous mountain peak alone to find him — and succeeded. 

Slowly, he stands and removes the shawl from his back, draping it across your shoulders before gently lifting you into his arms. You curl comfortably against his chest, cheek against his shoulder, and for a moment time seems to stand still as you take his breath away without even opening your eyes. You look so vulnerable, lightly clutching at the shawl in your sleep, and Younghyun feels (not for the first time) the sudden and overwhelming urge to protect you from any and all harm. It frightens him, almost, that he instinctively knows he would follow you to the ends of the earth, go any distance at all to ensure you never had to face any dangers or pains that you may have before he came into your life. It’s more than gratitude that keeps him close to you, when he could go anywhere in the world. It's the fledgling, stirring sensation in his chest when he looks your way that frightens and enthralls him that compels him to stay. 

Younghyun takes a deep breath of the evening air, forcing himself back to his senses before he turns away from the horizon in the direction of home, holding you gingerly, preciously, as he goes. 

A knock at the door interrupts the rhythmic grinding of herbs against stone, breaking you out of your almost meditative state. You glance out the window, seeing that the sun has not moved very high into the sky, and wonder who it could be so early. After all, your home is rather remote, so they must have set off while the sun was still lingering by the horizon. Before you can even set aside your work, Younghyun, who had once again been tending the fire (he does it often to keep Eunji from getting up and down so much — despite what she insists, you both hear the way her knees and back tend to crack at her slow movements), hurries to the door. Your hands remain still as you strain to listen to their conversation. 

"Are the healers here?" You hear, faintly, and you gently set aside your task and go around the corner to stand behind Younghyun. Over his shoulder you can see a man with a slight hunch, looking winded and drawn. You can’t help the concern that squeezes your heart as you look at the worried lines of his face. 

"Yes," you reply, stepping around so that he has a clearer view of you. "Would you like to come in? It’s quite cold outside." The man nods, releasing some of the tension from his shoulders as he bows his head. It only takes a brief look from you for Younghyun to agree and spring into action. 

"Follow me," Younghyun says, "I’ll brew some tea." As he guides your new guest into the central room, you head into the back where Eunji is preparing medicinal sachets. You gently tap your knuckles along the doorframe, causing the old woman to look over her shoulder at you.

"A visitor?" she asks. You nod,

"Younghyun is making him tea. He seemed like he was in a rush to get here." Eunji hums in acknowledgement, and as she slowly begins to rise from her seat you take half a step towards her, arms outstretched — she dismisses your offer of help before it even passes your lips. 

"I’m not some helpless old woman. Go see to our guest while I get my shawl." You can’t help but smile. You have no choice but to do what she says.

You find Younghyun and the man engaging in quiet conversation over cups of tea, and Younghyun hurries to pour a cup for you. No matter how often you told him not to, as he was technically a guest, he refused to allow you or Eunji to pour for yourselves, worried you might burn your hands somehow. You find it funny, and a bit endearing, considering the conditions he’s already seen you in — burnt fingertips are the least of your worries, most of the time. 

"My mentor will be joining us soon," you say, taking your seat at the small table. The man’s worried expression gives way to a relieved smile, though you can still see the concern darkening his eyes. 

"Thank you," he says. He opens his mouth to say something else, gaze directed at you, but is interrupted as Eunji enters the room. He stands, fully prepared to bow to him, and Eunji doesn’t hesitate to tell him to sit back down as she approaches the table. Despite being obviously surprised, he does as she says, and Younghyun pours the final cup of tea. Eunji takes a  prolonged moment to sit whilst you and Younghyun watch on with thinly veiled concern, adjusting her shawl around her shoulders. Finally, she looks across the table at the weary man,

"You seem to have come a long way." The man once again seems taken aback by Eunji’s brusqueness, but nods.

"Yes. Many of the children in our village have fallen ill, and we are worried about leaving them untreated with the winter weather approaching…"

"It’s a perilous time," Eunji agrees, dipping her chin. "How far is your village?" His eyes brighten at Eunji’s question.

"Just over an hour’s walk, so long as the weather holds." Eunji glances over at you, and you nod resolutely. The man had arrived before the noon hour — plenty of time to visit the village, assess the situation, and return to prepare treatments. Of course, it might take until the next day to finish the medicines and bring them, but you can’t help that. A small smile curves along Eunji’s lips.

"These children will accompany you," she says, still smiling. You want to retort that you aren’t a child any longer, just as Eunji proclaims she isn’t an old woman, but hold your tongue. The man scrambles onto his knees, bowing deeply,

"Thank you, thank you!" You rise from your seat, Younghyun doing the same.

"Please, sit up!" you implore, cheeks burning. "It’s our job to help, there’s no need for this!" Younghyun places a hand on your shoulder, leaning around you to speak to the man himself,

"Finish your tea. We’ll prepare our things and leave once you're done." He lifts his head, eyes wide, and his gaze flicks back to the teacup on the table as though he had forgotten it. 

"Ah, yes. Thank you." He returns to his seat, somewhat sheepish but clearly relieved, and you turn to Younghyun with a grateful smile. Such fervent displays of gratitude have always made you embarrassed, especially since your skills are still so lacking. Younghyun returns your smile with one of his own, gently squeezing your shoulder before dismissing himself to start packing. You cast one last glance at Eunji and the man, now conversing more casually, before going to get your own supplies. Uncertain of what exactly you’ll encounter, you pack the most common medicinal herbs — remedies for coughs and fevers, always necessary as the winter looms. Soon, the three of you have begun your trek across the valley and into the edges of the woods, walking carefully alongside a stream, conversation kept light and minimal.

You brace yourself as you near the village, hoping beyond hope that what ails the inhabitants will reveal itself to you. The thought of last winter tightens your throat, making it hard to breathe. Younghyun, noticing the change in your pace and pinched expression, reaches out to touch your arm. The warmth of his hand lifts the invisible weight off your chest.

"Are you alright?" he asks. You feel bad, for a moment, that you always seem to be making him worry. You offer him a reassuring smile.

"Yes," you reply. "Just... worried. I hope treating them will be straightforward." Younghyun’s lips press into a thin smile, almost like a grimace, no doubt thinking back to that cold, unforgiving mountain. Both of you try to shake the thoughts off as you press on.

As you pass the first traces of the village, you begin to feel a heaviness in the air. Even if the guide were to leave you, you would easily be able to find where they had gathered the sick — the energy is hard to ignore. It wafts towards and beckons you past curious and hopeful residents looking out into the street as you pass. Through a dark, gossamer veil of mist only your eyes can see, the building is revealed. As you near it you can hear coughs, but also a low buzzing hum, unnatural and uncomfortable.

You think back to your childhood, when you had asked your mother about that same sound when your older brother was sick, and she had only looked at you — confused, exasperated, concerned — and told you there was no such noise that she could hear. Eunji later told you that it was nature’s way of alerting you to imbalance when it couldn’t be readily seen. As you approach the building you pass off your pack to Younghyun, who remains just outside the entrance, watching you as you perform your preliminary analysis. Most of the patients are, as your guide had mentioned, children. Many of them are sleeping, huddled near one another for extra warmth, faces flushed with fever. You make your way to one corner of the room and kneel near a young teenager, half-awake, whose eyes flutter closed as your cold hand brushes their hair aside and makes contact with their forehead. You close your own eyes as well, willing the darkness behind your eyelids to reveal the answers.

Many times since you first discovered your ability, you had tried (in vain) to describe the way in which these answers were conveyed to you. Eunji, likewise, had difficulty. Something inside of you, something which resonated so deeply with the world around you, was simply able to identify the unnatural imbalance that was the illness and then lead you toward what was needed to restore the balance. It was a feeling more than a vision, though sometimes a faint image may come into your mind. One of the first things Eunji had ever taught you was to meditate and empty your mind as an invitation to the spirits that guided you to enter. Curious, you had asked if it was like possession, which Eunji had pondered before telling you that you were both right and wrong. As with most questions you had about your abilities, there were no straight or definitive answers, only a half-blind trust in the earth.

You hadn’t realized you were holding your breath until it passes from your lips in a relieved sigh. Last winter is not repeating itself. You make your way to a few other patients throughout the room, verifying that the same illness reveals itself each time, and by the time you circle back around to the entryway you are able to smile genuinely at both Younghyun and the parents and guardians now gathered outside. 

"It appears to be a widespread cold," you report. You beckon Younghyun over with your pack, and after rooting around you find what you’re looking for.

"Doraji?" someone nearby asks as you unwrap the bundle, and you nod. 

"This is dried doraji, so you need to soak it in water. Just give them all a small piece. Tomorrow I’ll bring a stronger medicinal tea, but this should help to relieve the coughing for now. It’s bitter, so the children might only eat it cooked…" You find that you’re mostly speaking to yourself as people pass the small bundle of dried roots around, discussing who should be in charge of the process. Most of the villagers have encountered the bellflower before, but don’t have as many of its roots on hand as you and Eunji do, carefully  cultivated and dried in batches. When you get home, you’ll have to check and see if there are any fresh roots left — the fall harvest isn’t so far behind you that it’s impossible. 

As you make mental notes of what ingredients you’ll need to prepare for the tea, you methodically arrange everything back in your pack and affix it to your back once more. You and Younghyun bid the villagers goodbye, reiterating your instructions once more before heading towards home.

"Do we need to look for anything on our way?" Younghyun asks, and you take a moment to run through a mental inventory before you reply. You shake your head.

"Not unless you see late-season doraji blooming. We don’t need to go out of our way, we found plenty this fall." 

"And prepared it," Younghyun replies, a slight grimace on his face. You can’t help but to laugh when you remember how much he struggled to peel the roots, and the envy with which he watched Eunji’s hands easily working away. Eventually, she had sent him to work on something else, leaving him sulky for most of the afternoon. Somehow, he was even handsome when he pouted.

"You’ve gotten better at drying ingredients," you tease, and although he grumbles in irritation the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth betrays him. You feel remarkably lighter the longer you and Younghyun walk together, playfully bantering about his (lacking) medicinal skills and wondering what meal Eunji will be preparing when you return. There’s a warmth in your heart you can only attribute to Younghyun being in your life, and although you’ve never said it aloud you hope he knows just how much he does for you just being by your side. 

You rise purposefully alongside the sun, wasting no time in getting ready for your journey. While the trip to the village isn't long, the skies have looked troublesome since the evening before — the first storm of winter is approaching, and you can feel nature all around you settling in preparation. Normally, such reactions as these from the animals would keep you home, but you simply can't stay. Remembering the miserable faces of the sick you had visited with yesterday is enough to have you strapping your pack to your back with haste, moving for the door just as the sun has fully risen over the horizon. 

"You're still going?" You whip around, startled. You hadn't realized anyone else was awake, let alone out in the main room. Younghyun meets your gaze,  his expression marred with concern. 

"Of course," you say resolutely. "I have to." Your response only makes his brow furrow more deeply. 

"But the storm looks like it will start earlier than we thought…"

"I can't leave those people to suffer," you reply, voice more sharp than you had attended. Younghyun's winces, just slightly, and you avert your eyes in shame, softening your voice,

"I have to help them. I know that I can help them, so I have to go." 

You hear Younghyun sigh, but he doesn't say anything. The creaking of the floor lets you know that he's retreated from the room, and your stomach twists at the thought of leaving him mad at you — but your thoughts are interrupted by the sound of him approaching you once more. Before you can say anything, your vision is obscured by a shawl that he drapes around your shoulders despite the pack on your back. 

"At least bundle yourself up," he chides, his tone gentle. He carefully makes sure the shawl is wrapped securely around your shoulders, protecting your throat from the chill, and you can't help the laugh that escapes you. 

"I'm already wearing fur-lined clothes," you chuckle. "Look!" You hold one wrist out and peel back the edge of your arm warmer to reveal the plush white fur beneath. 

"Even the jeogori is lined," you add, patting the puffy sides of your skirt to prove that the fabric is puffy from the fur and not simply billowing around you. Younghyun's frown melts into a fond, if still concerned, smile at your antics. He reaches up and brushes a few strands of hair he had inadvertently pushed loose when draping the shawl over you back out of your face, the warmth of his hand lingering on your cheeks. 

He takes a step back and looks over your outfit once more, as if to assure himself that you truly are dressed for the impending weather, and you once again hold back a laugh. 

"You worry too much," you playfully scold, patting him on the shoulder. "The sooner I leave, the sooner I can come back. You'll take good care while I'm gone, right?" He presses his lips into a tight line, looking as though he wants to dissuade you from leaving — but his resigned sigh tells you he's realized those efforts will be futile. 

"Of course," he says. "So hurry back." You pull your hand off of him and move to the door before he can change his mind. 

"I will!" you chime, before stepping out into the morning chill.

Even as the breeze carries the scent of snow to you, the clouds hanging low and heavy, you push onward. It will be easy enough to distribute the medicine once you arrive, and so long as you’re home before nightfall everything should be fine. Nonetheless, your pace quickens without you even noticing, pulling your pack flat to your back. 

The villagers greet you with nervous gratitude, all the adults looking considerably exhausted, and are quick to usher you into warm buildings when they notice your windswept cheeks. As some of them bustle around, preparing tea and refreshments for you despite your protests, others help you to unload your pack.

“This is the tea. I tried to make it less bitter, since most of the children are affected,” you explain, laying the sachets of medicine out on a table. You remove a wooden spoon, the bowl narrower but deeper than one used for dining. “Use this to measure the dose. One scoop will suffice for small children, but adults should use two.” The adults around you murmur, and one eventually speaks up.

“Would you mind helping us with the first dose, Y/N-nim?” The use of the honorific momentarily stuns you, but nobody else seems bothered. Despite your many years under Eunji’s tutelage, you still feel yourself far too much of a novice to be deserving of such respect  — but to these people, who rely on you more as Eunji gets older, you imagine the lines are more blurred. 

Younghyun’s warnings about the weather echo in your head, but you find yourself agreeing. How could you leave these people in their time of need? What if the children are stubborn and need more coaxing, some gentle pressure from the ‘all-knowing witch’? 

Thankfully, most of the patients cooperate since their family matriarchs are present, though some are more stubborn. As the sun hangs in the afternoon sky you are ushered into someone’s residence for a light meal. Many of the village women gather around the room with you, taking a moment to relax after the prolonged brewing and portioning of medicinal tea. After eating a small portion, you pull out your extra herbs to measure more of the tea for the village, just in case. One of the women leans towards you as you do, a light smile playing at her lips.

"Y/N-nim, we’ve all been wondering — who is that man that came with you last time?" All eyes turn to you, the other conversations in the room halting. Their curiosity is far from unusual or unwarranted — every village Younghyun has accompanied you to has at least one person who raises the question, and plenty more who don’t ask but are clearly wondering too. After all, for so many years it's been only you and Eunji visiting these people unassisted. You barely glance up from your work at her question, a smile curving your lips. 

"I found him injured on the mountain," you say. Everyone knows the one, and the story of your journey, at this point. "He's been staying with us while he recuperates. He can't remember where he came from, or how he got on the mountain."

"Ah," the woman hums. She goes back to her own business as you continue tending to yours, almost laughing at the well-rehearsed story. At least it isn’t a complete lie, you muse, just a half-truth.

But the longer you sit, continuing your work, the more you start to think. Younghyun was living with the two of you as a means of getting used to human life again — it was never intended to be a permanent situation. Neither you nor Eunji had any intention of keeping Younghyun in your little shack in the valley if it wasn't where he wanted to be. Your hands falter for a moment before resuming their task purely from muscle memory, your heart sinking. If Younghyun were to tell you he wanted to leave…

You shake your head slightly. If Younghyun wants to leave, you should let him. You would let him — though the very thought makes your throat feel tight. You repeat it to yourself, a reprimand for your foolishness and selfishness. Younghyun deserves to do whatever he wants, even if it means leaving you. 

Eventually you decide you’ve made enough extra doses and should brew and distribute medicine to the remaining, most stubborn patients. Most of them are willful children who still have enough energy to argue despite their illness and were put off by the tea’s bitter smell, despite your best efforts to sweeten the mixture. Part of the reason for the afternoon break was so some of the village women could pull together something small and sweet for the children to eat after taking the medicine. With bits of dried fruit from various villagers’ homes now being presented alongside the tea, most of the children took the medicine (though still scrunching their noses at the bitterness) without much argument.

Some, however, required much more coaxing. In the end, it took you sitting amongst them and feeding into their misconception of you as a powerful, all-knowing witch alongside some bargaining with dried fruit to convince them. By the time you leave the village, you feel mentally exhausted and ready to collapse at home with Eunji and Younghyun. The clouds have sunk down over the mountaintops, heavy with snow — you smell the ice in the air and feel the stillness around you as all the other animals burrow away from the impending storm.

The snow begins to fall lightly, at first, but it sticks quickly to the frozen ground. You quicken your pace as the wind picks up. You know it’s no use; you can’t outrun the storm, so you’ll just have to push on. The tingling sensation in your hands, tucked deep into your fur-lined sleeves, warns you that conditions are going to get worse before they get better.  

Damn, you think, pulling your outermost shawl up over your nose as the storm howls. You really should have left the village sooner, but the children were so stubborn about taking their first doses of medicine. Thinking about it, you know you couldn’t have left without having assured yourself that all of them had taken it. You’re thankful it wasn’t the same plague as last winter, when you ventured up the mountain and made a deal with Younghyun but still couldn’t save everyone. The familiar shroud of guilt threatens to encompass your heart, the bitter wind blowing hard. Shaking your head, you burrow your chin and cheeks down into the shawl, trying to hide from the cold. Wisps of hair are pulled from behind your ears into view by the violent winds, and you squint through the snowflakes that cling to your lashes to be sure you're headed in the right direction before casting your gaze downward once more. As you continue plodding on, the crunching of your footsteps scarcely audible above the wails of the windswept winter trees, a voice suddenly cuts through the storm,

"Y/N!"

You lift your head and, for a moment, the wind stills. The snow is still falling, but through it you can see him approaching, and a smile creeps across your face. Seeing him like this, surrounded by snowflakes, reminds you of last winter — the first time you met Younghyun, up on the lonely mountain. Even the concern written in the creases of his brow look the same as they did the night he chose to reveal his true nature to you, to save you from the deathly chill. 

You lift your head and continue striding towards him with renewed vigor. The snow is just about at your ankles now, the frozen ground hard beneath your feet with each step. 

"Y/N!" he cries once you come more clearly into his line of sight. He looks relieved for a moment before running towards you, "Are you crazy?!" 

In a flurry he reaches out to pull your shawl further up your head, eyes flitting worriedly over your wind-whipped cheeks and frosty lashes. 

"I shouldn't have let you go alone," he grumbles, pulling the pack from your shoulders and slinging it over one of his own before you can protest. You hurry to follow him back to the hut, walking in his larger footsteps. 

"Then who would've helped Eunji prepare the house?" you ask, gently reminding him of your earlier conversation. You watch as his shoulders tense as though he's about to argue with you, but he lets out a sigh and ushers you into the house before him. Although you feel bad for worrying him, it does warm your heart to know that he stayed to help Eunji when you couldn't. 

Eunji, however, seems about as pleased with you and your decision as Younghyun — maybe even less. 

“That was foolish,” is all she says when you walk in the door. She barely casts a glance in your direction before turning back to the food still warm above the fire. You can tell she and Younghyun have already eaten just by the amount left, and the guilt resurges. 

"Sorry, Eunji…" you mutter, lowering your head like a scolded child. She only takes your food off the fire for you to eat, before rising slowly to her feet and shuffling off into her room. 

You eat accompanied only by the fire's crackle and glow, your own shadow cast long across the table from you as a stark reminder of your foolish decision. 

For hours after dinner you lie awake, unable to sleep. You listen to the howling wind outside and occasionally rise to your feet, walking to the far end of the room to be sure you can feel the ondol beneath the floor still warming it sufficiently. 

It's long into the night when you hear a faint melody, and you creep to your doorway to hear it better. 

It isn't Eunji, nor is it a song you recognize, yet the words fall easily from Younghyun's lips in a hushed tone, accompanied by the gentle scrape of him stoking the small fire in the agungi. No wonder the ondol seemed warmer than usual, you think to yourself, slowly creeping towards the source of the song. 

You watch from the shadowy corner as Younghyun tosses another piece of wood into the fire, dusting his hands off as he continues to sing. He glows golden in the firelight, and it's hard to believe that all traces of his former magic have left him — anyone seeing him would surely believe he had descended from the heavens that very day. 

As you listen to his voice, you try desperately to think of what song he may be singing, but none come to mind. Although it somehow sounds familiar, you know you've never heard it before.

Eventually, Younghyun stops singing, letting out a soft sigh as he holds his hands out towards the fire. Quietly, you step forward, but the slight creak of a board beneath your feet makes him turn. He doesn't look particularly surprised to see you, merely turning back to the flames as you go to take a seat beside him. 

"You have a wonderful voice," you say, finally. "What song was that?" He shakes his head. 

"I don't know the name. It's something my mother used to sing." His throat seems tight as he speaks, his words clipped and his expression stony. You stare at the side of his face, but he doesn't budge. Your nervous fingers pick at a loose thread you find on your clothes, and your eyes follow the pattern of the woodgrain until the shadows swallow them up. With great effort, you summon up the courage to speak,

"I'm sorry for upsetting you today. I didn't mean to make you mad." 

The smallness of your own voice makes you wince, and you're relieved that Younghyun doesn't look at you, as you couldn't possibly bring yourself to meet his eyes. 

"I'm not angry at you," he sighs, leaning back on his palms. "You just… you do things for other people without thinking of the consequences for yourself. It's like you think that nobody cares what will happen to you." 

You open your mouth to retort, but find no words to do so. After all, he isn't wrong — you've always thought of being a healer as your sole purpose in life. Regardless of how much you adored Eunji, you can still remember how it felt to be given away by your family, and how alien they seem to you at times. There's a part of you that's always believed you could never be part of a normal world, live a normal life, and as Younghyun's words sink in you realize that, maybe, you've been throwing yourself into being a selfless healer so wholeheartedly and recklessly to avoid the pain of facing what you perceive as a lonely future. 

Aside from Eunji and your family, you wonder sometimes if anyone else has ever cared about you for any reason other than you being a healer. And to avoid the thought you simply propelled yourself full-force into your sworn duty. Like anyone else, you wanted to matter, and healing was the only way you knew how to. 

Before you know it, your teardrops have begun to stain the floor by your knees. Younghyun notices and hurriedly pulls his sleeves down over his knuckles, gently pressing the backs of his fingers against your cheeks. 

"Don't cry. I didn't mean to make you cry," he pleads, and you shake your head. 

"It isn't your fault," you reply, swallowing hard. "It's mine." Younghyun sighs, still gingerly drying your tear-stained cheeks. Even though you feel ashamed of your own childishness, you can’t bring yourself to stop him — or stop yourself from crying.

"You’re a good person," he intones, his voice as warm as the fire in the agungi, his eyes catching all the embers’ glow. "You care about other people, and there isn’t anything wrong with that. But you can’t help anyone if you don’t take care of yourself. You don’t ever make yourself a priority, even when you should, so of course Eunji and I worry about you. Especially when you do reckless things, like go out alone in a snowstorm…" The hint of a smile curls at one corner of his mouth, and you let out a short, wet laugh.

"Yeah," you sniff. "I deserve that." You leave your hands in Younghyun’s, watching as he gently runs his thumbs across the ridges of your knuckles. Somehow, he had managed to halt your tears without you even noticing, and though you still feel ashamed of having disappointed Eunji you feel more apologetic than anything else now.

"Does that mean you forgive me, then?" you ask, looking up to meet his gaze. Younghyun’s eyes hold all the golden light and warmth in the world as they meet yours, a full smile curving his lips now. He reaches out to brush loose strands from your braid behind your ear, a pleasant shudder running through you as his fingertips ghost along the shell of your ear.

"Yes," he says. 

Then, unexpectedly, he gives the lobe of your ear a swift tug. You yelp and reach up to cover your ear, but it’s too late. Younghyun only continues to smile at you, though you can see the mischievous glint in his foxish eyes as you pout across from him.

"But only if you promise to be more careful from now on." You huff, but lower your hand from your ear and extend a pinky out to him.

"Okay, I promise." 

Your lovely, wonderful Younghyun links his pinky with yours securely, lifting them up to press the back of your pinky to his lips. You’re grateful for the warmth and glow of the agungi, blaming the flush in your cheeks on it as the two of you unlink your pinkies and bid each other goodnight.

Eunji doesn’t stay mad at you for long, as is her way, but it probably helps that you try to actively stay in her good graces. The snow has finally stopped after falling for two nights, and Younghyun wasup since dawn clearing small paths around the hut for you and Eunji. 

“Go get him,” Eunji says sharply. “He’s been out there too long. It’s too cold.” You can’t help but smile to yourself, setting aside your task as Eunji shuffles, muttering, to make tea for you all. Draping a shawl over your shoulders, you poke your head out the door. Your eyes find him immediately, the only figure amidst the snowdrifts and gray skies.

“Younghyun-ah,” you call, and he turns to face you. He raises a hand to wave, and you beckon him with your hand. “Eunji says it’s time to come in.” Without hesitation he starts walking towards you, the shovel he had been using resting on one shoulder. As he gets closer you see how red his nose and cheeks are and can’t help but pout; you take the shovel from him and push him into the hut, chiding him,

“Why didn’t you cover your face? Your nose must be frozen.” You shut the door behind you and immediately reach up to feel his nose and cheeks, cradling his face in your hands. He smiles at you, eyes sparkling, and you feel your face getting hot — you pinch his nose, hard, and before he can begin whining at you about it you take him by the shoulder and start pushing him towards the table where Eunji has set out the teacups. The old woman looks over her shoulder at the two of you, tutting when she sees Younghyun’s red face.

“You young people, you never take care of yourselves,” she scolds.

“That’s why we have you, Eunji!” you chirp, taking the shawl off your own shoulders to drape it over hers. She rolls her eyes at you but tugs the shawl a little tighter around her and can’t keep the smile off her face as she waves you off. Younghyun obediently takes a seat at the table, and you follow suit with Eunji right behind you. It had taken you a considerable amount of time as a child to get used to Eunji’s lack of adherence to tradition. She didn’t care who served who, or the order in which things were done — she had lived alone and away from society for so long that she simply did what was most efficient. As Eunji got older, she let you do more for her, but never everything. She let Younghyun do more, and though you know she’ll never admit it, it was clearly her attempt to make him feel more comfortable.

Sitting around the table, you can’t help but bask in the warmth of your home. You have never felt so happy, you think, as you do with these two people, whom you love most in the world.

With the snow still thick on the ground, there’s little to do other than stay inside and prepare ingredients for the impending ailments the season brings. Neither you nor Eunji have been summoned, and until more of the snow melts you can’t venture very far from your hut. 

Most of the day has passed with all of you inside, working away at various chores and tasks. You’ve turned to mending clothing, having finished grinding herbs, and after hours hunched over by the table you set aside your task and stand, needing to stretch. It’s sometime in the afternoon, 

“Y/N-ah,” Eunji says, beckoning you into her room. You make your way over, curious as to why she’s calling you into her bedroom instead of coming to the central room to speak to you. 

“Yes, Eunji?” She tugs at your sleeve, then pushes your shoulder down so your ear is level with her mouth,

“I’m going to make Younghyun a treat since he’s been here a whole year. Take him outside and stay out until our evening meal.” You barely hear her request, stuck on the fact that Younghyun has been here, with you, off the mountain for a year. Does that mean he’s adjusted enough to human life? Is he going to want to leave soon? Eunji releases your shoulder, and you bring yourself back to reality.

“I can do that,” you say, though your head is still spinning slightly. Eunji smiles at you and pats your shoulder.

“I knew I could count on you.” Her statement lightens your heart just slightly, enough for you to make your way into the common room and tap Younghyun’s shoulder. He lifts his gaze from his work, a slow attempt to perfectly peel some roots, and you smile,

“Eunji wants us to get out of the house so she can clean.” 

“Shouldn’t we help?” he asks, but he’s already setting aside his work and standing up. You shake your head.

“She’s very particular sometimes, you know that. She said we’d only get in her way.” Younghyun thankfully accepts your excuse and pulls on his extra winter layers alongside you as Eunji makes her way into the common room to shoo you both out.

It’s cold outside, but not unpleasant. The sun reflects almost blindingly off the snow in the valley, so you and Younghyun both begin walking towards the woods in search of some shade.

“It snowed so much this year,” you remark. 

“It’s still nothing like last year,” he replies, and when you turn to look at him you find his gaze on the familiar mountain peak in the distance. One whole year…

“You’re right,” you say. “That storm was particularly bad. The beginning of that winter… before you, it was awful. Everything felt so hopeless.” Younghyun laughs softly,

“That’s how every winter felt,” he says, “until you.” 

You don’t know what to say, a lump forming in your throat as thoughts continue to swirl in your mind about Younghyun leaving. It’s foolish, you think (you know) to be so concerned with something that may not even come to pass, or not soon at least, but you can’t help it. After only a year Younghyun has become such an integral part of your life that you can’t imagine not seeing him every day.

But it’s his choice, you remind yourself. Just like you had never wanted anyone to stand in the way of your decisions, you knew you could never stand in the way of his. 

The two of you walk in comfortable silence through the woods. Despite the snow, you both know your way through the trees almost by instinct, having walked all these paths through the other three seasons. The trees become sparser as you near the river that lies in the bowl of the valley. Once again you’ve found yourselves at the hilltop where you have the best view of the sunset, the late afternoon sun casting long stripes of shadow and golden light across the ground. The river runs shimmering down in the valley, thawed from the day’s sunshine. You stand beside Younghyun in your usual spot, the warmth of his body radiating onto you, and the lump forms in your throat again. Enough, you think, biting the inside of your cheek. I should just get it over with.

“Younghyun-ah, have you ever…” you press your lips together, taking a deep breath before trying again. “Is there somewhere you want to go, Younghyun-ah? You know Eunji and I — we would help you do anything. You’ve adjusted well to life off the mountain, so…” Again, you can’t seem to finish, and so you simply let the statement hang in the air, hoping that he’s able to understand your babbling. You can feel his gaze on you, but can’t bring yourself to lift your face. If you look at him, you might just lose your resolve and end up taking it all back, begging him not to go. You can see when he turns to you completely, his feet pointing towards yours and not the setting sun.

“Do you remember,” he starts, taking your hands in both of his. He runs his thumbs across your knuckles gently, sending shivers down your spine. “How you said you saw me grow old in your vision?” The statement catches you off guard enough that you look up, but he’s smiling down at your hands in his, his expression soft. 

“Yes,” you reply, voice barely a breath, but you know he hears you. He lifts his face, resolve painted into his sharp features, and you gaze into his eyes, dark as the new moon sky. 

“I want to see you grow old too, Y/N-ah.”

The tenderness in his voice renders you speechless, and though you know your feet are on the ground you feel as though your body has risen into the clouds, face warming as his stare continues to pierce you. 

“What…?” What does that mean? What do you mean by that? 

“I'm asking you to let me stay by your side,” he explains, squeezing your fingers gently. “Wherever you go, whatever you do, I don't mind — I just ask that it isn't without me.”

You could swear your heart stops beating, that the world altogether stops for a moment. Younghyun’s eyes never waver, earnest and sure, and the longer you hold his gaze the further you feel yourself falling into the depths of your devotion to him. As you hurtle towards the conclusion you had been fearful to voice for so long, you remind yourself to breathe, the air trembling in and out of your lungs. 

“Why?” Is all you manage to ask, your heart aching, pounding desperately in anticipation of whatever confession awaits you. 

Younghyun chuckles kindly, and the sight of his smile causes your own lips to curl, a salve to your anxiety. He runs his thumbs soothingly along the ridges of your knuckles. 

“Because,” he says, then lifts your hands to his mouth. He presses a soft kiss on each of them, sending butterflies soaring in your stomach, and looks up at you through his lashes with that smile still playing at the corners of his mouth. 

“You’re my destiny. I’ll do anything to stay by your side until the end.”

How could you ever say no to him? All you can manage is to nod, tears stinging your eyes, and Younghyun reaches up to wipe them away — just like before. His hands gently cup your cheeks, and you look into his eyes, the eyes that you love more than any others.

“Can I kiss you?” he asks. You laugh, placing your hands on his shoulders,

“I thought you’d never ask.”

When the two of you return to the hut hand in hand, Eunji simply raises her eyebrows.

“Finally,” she says, before ushering you both inside from the cold evening air. “It only took a year. Congratulations, Younghyun.” She reaches up to ruffle his hair, and he bends down just slightly to oblige her, laughing all the while. 

As you all sit around the table filled with Eunji’s treats for Younghyun, you wonder what the future holds. Whatever comes, you think, you’re ready and willing to face it — with determination, and love, and magic — with Younghyun.

[flurrys-creativity]

Fixer upper

Pairing: Kang Younghyun (Day6) x GN!Reader; Genre: Roommate AU, enemies to lovers, a little angst, romance, fluff; Rating: sfw, pg-15; Warnings: a broken cup, yelling and a fight, clumsy reader, blood, crying and kisses; Wordcount: 1.379

Summary: Younghyun had enough of your clumsy ass. Not that he had something against you being clumsy. But you just leaving your mess behind for him to stumble over drove him up the walls. It was time to confront you.

A/N: This is another written deal for @daemour ! Actually kinda the first deal we made... and yet it’s the third I finished writing.. or is it the third? I don’t know.

Younghyun stood in front of the sink, staring down at the broken cup in it. He sighed deeply and placed his hands on the counter, leaning against it as his head hung low. By now Younghyun had lost count of how many broken things he had found in the shared apartment over the time he lived with you.

“Y/N!” His voice boomed through the apartment. He heard a dull thud and closed his eyes, gritting in annoyance. How could one person be that clumsy?

Startled, you rushed into the kitchen. Your eyes frantically darted around the small room until they landed on Younghyun’s form. “What’s wrong?”

Younghyun turned around and looked at you, a grin playing over his lips when he saw your dishevelled appearance before he resumed the pointed stare. He schooled his expression again, ignoring the flutter in his stomach from your wide eyes. How could you look this adorable when you were such a mess?

Your eyes scanned his face, worried something bad happened while you still waited for his answer.

Younghyun simply pointed at the sink and your eyes followed the movement, noticing the broken cup you had left there.

“Are you hurt?” You quickly rushed over to him and grabbed his hands, turning them around and tracing his palms with your finger. “I noticed it was broken in the cupboard and put it in the sink so neither of us would use it by accident and get hurt.

Younghyun stared at you in disbelief. “Why didn’t you throw it out in the first place?” He asked, tone exasperated. He pulled his hands out of yours and stepped away, his heart pounding within his chest.

Your shoulders slumped down, face slightly falling before you returned to a neutral expression again. “It’s your favourite cup”, you murmured and looked down at the cup. “I didn’t want to throw it away and I knew simply taking it would make you mad.”

“I’m mad because I constantly find broken things around the apartment!” Younghyun raised his voice, internally seeing how the thread of his patience snapped.

You grabbed the broken parts within the sink and held them in your hands, looking down at the pieces. “I’m not doing it on purpose. Also I didn’t break your cup this time.”

“This time! Y/N, I swear to god”, Younghyun didn’t finish the sentence, instead he rubbed his face with his hands, feeling incredibly tired all of a sudden.

Tears pricked at the corner of your eyes and you could feel your lower lip trembling. Without another word you turned around and stormed out of the kitchen, still holding the broken pieces in your hands.

“Where are you going now?!” Younghyun called after you even though he didn’t expect an answer. His heart twisted painfully, knowing his outburst had hurt you. He never meant to hurt you. With a deep sigh he sat down at the counter and buried his face in his hands. He shouldn’t have yelled, shouldn’t have blamed you for something you didn’t do on purpose.

After a while, Younghyun pushed himself up and trotted to your bedroom. He raised his hand and hesitated, hearing quiet sniffling from inside your room. Younghyun winced but decided to knock on the wooden surface nonetheless, waiting for your response.

All of a sudden it became eerily quiet behind the door, worrying Younghyun even more about the severity of the damage his outburst had done. He knocked again, softly calling out to you. 

The only response he received was the clicking of the lock, making him think you actually locked him out of your room. His hand trembled violently when he moved it to the doorknob, slowly twisting and opening it.

Younghyun exhaled the breath he had held, noticing the short rush of relief spreading through his body when he opened the door and stepped into your room.

You sat on your bed, back facing him. Even though you tried your very best, you knew your shoulders were shaking and that it was only a matter of time before your sobs turned loud again.

“Hey, y/n, about earlier”, Younghyun spoke softly, carefully taking one step after another closer to you. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to let it all out on you. That was wrong of me. I guess I just was kind of stress- holy shit! What happened?” 

Younghyun’s eyes widened in shock, quickly stepping right behind you when he noticed the red stains on your sheets. 

When you didn’t react and only continued to press the pieces of the cup together with bloody fingers, Younghyun slowly leaned down, prying your hands off of the shards. 

A loud sob escaped your throat the moment Younghyun pulled the broken cup out of your hands and placed it down on your bed. 

“Hey, it’s alright, okay? You’re going to be okay, yeah?” Younghyun grabbed your wrist with one hand, using his free arm to wrap it around your body. He noticed the tube of liquid glue next to the pieces, feeling his throat close up in guilt.

For a moment he only held you, needing the time to gather his thoughts while you continued to cry silently. Seeing your bloody hands again, Younghyun inhaled deeply before he lifted you up and carried you to the bathroom.

Somewhat clumsy - oh the irony - he sat down together with you on the edge of the bathtub. Younghyun held you tightly against his chest with one arm while he leaned forward and turned on the faucet of the sink. 

“You wanted to repair the cup, didn’t you?” He asked softly as he grabbed your wrists again and pulled them under the warm stream of water. 

You nodded shortly, biting on your lower lip to stop the sobs but they only fought their way through. Through bleary eyes you stared at the sink, seeing the red stained water vanishing down the drain.

“That’s why you didn’t throw it away.”

Again you only nodded. When Younghyun had called you earlier, you had browsed the internet to check how you could repair a cup without sharp edges remaining.

“And out of protest because I got mad, you decided to paint the cup with some blood?”

You snorted and shook your head, slowly gaining control over your crying. “And tears”, you mumbled.

“And tears”, Younghyun repeated, turning off the water and gently drying your hands. He grabbed a small medical kit from under the sink and started bandaging your hands. Once he finished he turned you on his lap, brushing the remnants of your tears away with his thumb. “Let’s just throw the cup away, yeah? I can always choose a new favourite one.”

“We can’t always throw things away when I break them”, you whispered, new tears forming in your eyes. 

Younghyun leaned his forehead against yours and closed his eyes, humming quietly in agreement. “But I also can’t see you getting hurt because you try to repair them every time.”

“I only got hurt because I couldn’t see properly.”

“Y/N, stop arguing with me when I just told you I care about you”, Younghyun sighed but pulled you closer into his embrace nonetheless. “Right now, I don’t know if I want to kiss you or scold you for hurting yourself over something so stupid.”

It stayed quiet for a moment between the both of you where you simply took in the presence of the other.

“Can I pick?” You asked, suddenly feeling shy in front of him.

“Only if you pick a kiss”, Younghyun answered, opening his eyes and leaning back a little. A grin spread over his features when he saw you nodding.

Younghyun closed the space between you, his lips hovering in front of yours. He waited several heartbeats, still offering you the chance to pull away, before he turned the ghost of a touch of your lips into a deep kiss. One of his hands came up to your neck and held you there. 

“Just know, I’m still going to scold you later for giving me a heart attack when I saw all that blood and thought the worst”, Younghyun murmured between kisses.

You whined softly before he stopped you with another kiss, letting you successfully shut up and enjoy the moment.

© all rights reserved

Taglist: @xavi-in-kpopland​ 

[abloomingperiod]

day6

youngk

piece by piece: when younghyun gives you his pieces, and you give him yourses. | fluff, tiny bit suggestive. squint and you'll see it, established relationship au.

[justkpopjokes]

SKZ + Day6 Uni Band AU

Ft. Stray Kids + Day6

Word Count: 2k of bullet points

jaesea: “Maybe best friend!Chan (skz) but like he invites u to be part of this new band he's making?”

A/N: Another old request lol. This fic practically wrote itself! So many details fell right into place, so there are a ton of references to the irl history of the groups which I might make a separate post explaining lol

PROLOGUE: DAY6

WELCOME TO JYP UNIVERSITYYYYYY it even rhymes :)

JYP Uni is mostly an arts university, so the students have their own student-run festival to celebrate everyone’s skills!!

A few years ago, there was a band called Day6 that grew in popularity due to performing at this festival on a whim

Sadly, one of these original performers left b/c he wanted to focus on studies

Then another guy quit the band after he graduated to focus on his job

So the remaining 4 members, Sungjin, Brian Younghyun, Wonpil, and Dowoon, decided to finish up their studies then go pro!!

However, due to studying, sometimes a person or 2 wasn’t able to make it to a performance

Either that or the song they wanted to perform wasn’t possible with only the 4 of them

Additionally, Sungjin and “Young K” decided to work full time after they graduated to save up for their Big Band Plans, which meant that they were often down a bass and guitar for on-campus events

To solve this, they decided to add some other people to the band temporarily!!

These new members were more like collaborators rather than official members

Wonpil and Dowoon would teach them the band’s existing songs, so for many of their fans at uni, it was like a special honour to get to perform with them

During his last year at uni, Dowoon was such a sweet but stressed mentor as the last original one left lmao

Imagine him going around trying to find lil underclassmen to fill in for performances

((ok but wow that would definitely lead him to have a lot of fans,,,, yknow,,, like in the Every Day6 MVs,,,))

After Dowoon graduated, the 4 main members of the band were reunited to go pro and focus on making music!! :’) A happy ending!!

I: 3RACHA

Now THOSE are the legends that Bang Chan has idolized ever since he got accepted into JYP Uni!

Bang Chan is a guy. A guy that happens to be really good at writing music (and guitar)

So his skill landed him the opportunity to perform with the legendary Day6!

(Dowoon and Wonpil had heard of Chan’s music during one of the student music festivals, so they called him up to fill in for Sungjin once)

But since all the original members have since graduated, Day6 isn’t a part of JYP Uni anymore

And thus a gap is left for a new band to rise into!!

With his knowledge gifted to him by Dowoon, Chan decides to start another band!!

He takes rhythm guitar and vocals, but he still needs others to, yknow, make it a band 🤔🤔🤔

lmao I would love to be recruited as a second guitarist, keyboardist, or drummer

The people who witnessed Chan’s performance w/Day6 are like “ooh he’s a good singer, maybe we should see what he does”

So his friends show off their skills to him and he eventually starts getting a band together!!

First he recruits 2 of his closest friends, Jisung and Changbin

I didn’t plan this but it makes so much sense that Chan filled in for Sungjin in the past because it meant he got really good at rhythm guitar

Which means Jisung plays lead guitar (and he does actually play guitar omg) with Changbin taking up drums

The trio performs together for the 1st time at the same music festival that Day6 started at!

They name themselves “3RACHA” after Jisung spilled Sriracha sauce on himself when they went out to lunch to plan for the event

Following their performance, they gain attention for their unique original songs!

Sadly, after about a year of 3RACHA uploading their music online, Changbin has to step back due to time conflicts

Although Changbin’s able to help write their songs, only Chan and Jisung would be performing live like they planned

Chan’s a little discouraged; he’s been trying for so long to get a crew together and is close to finishing up his time at uni

He doesn’t want to cancel their 2nd big performance, but it’ll be hard performing their songs as a duo

So he calls his friends, Day6!

Younghyun in particular had sort of adopted Chan after the latter filled in for Sungjin

So he gives Chan a pep talk and tells him to keep pushing through

As a solution, Younghyun suggests Chan do what Day6 did and give some newbies a chance to perform with 3racha like Day6 did with Chan

II: Srir4cha?

Inspired by his mentors, Chan decides to recruit a young man who enrolled into JYP Uni early: Jeongin!

Jeongin is an amazing singer, but Jisung’s a little confused at first since Chan usually does vocals

However, papa Chan encourages the youngin’ to work on his piano/keyboard skills so he can perform with that too

After a successful first practice to see if he’s a good match, they happily accept Jeongin onto the team!

They also just love to baby him lol he’s their golden child

Hyunjin, another student at JYP Uni, knows about the band that Chan is forming

Although he hears that they’re looking for new members, he doesn’t really want to audition, feeling like other people were better than him

Besides, he’s a dancer, not a musician. What’s he going to do?

However, Hyunjin is always practicing his dance routines in a studio on campus

And whenever it’s empty, he’ll sing to himself!

Chan hears Hyunjin singing and is like “hmmm interesting…”

And after witnessing Hyunjin’s stage presence during a dance performance, he’s like “okay that’s it he’s joining!!”

So Chan approaches Hyunjin and asks him to join the band, at least temporarily, for their next performance

Hyunjin: “??? But I don’t play an instrument??”

Bang Chan: “You dance, right? I’ll teach you drums; since you’re good with dancing on beat, it should be easier for you to pick up”

So Hyunjin learns drums with Chan (and occasionally Changbin’s) mentorship

It seems a little odd to Jisung/Changbin that Chan is just picking random kids who have little to no experience with instruments

Jisung especially is like 😒😒 about Hyunjin replacing Changbin, thinking Chan just brought him on the team because he’s handsome and can get them attention

But 3RACHA (currently a team of 4 and needing a new name) have unwavering faith in Chan’s good judgment

With Hyunjin working hard to catch up to the others and carry the beat, Jisung accepts that Hyunjin does belong on the team

Though they really are a ragtag team of stray kids that Chan pulled together

With a fresh lineup, they boys are able to perform at their 2nd major event under their new name: Stray Kids!!!

III: STRAY KIDS

After the event with Chan, Jisung, Jeongin, and Hyunjin (mirroring Day6 hehe), Changbin’s able to rejoin the band!

Hyunjin’s a little sad he won’t be performing with Stray Kids anymore

But Chan is ofc like “NO you’re one of us now!!” and offers him a permanent spot on the team

Hyunjin: “But what am I going to play now that Changbin’s back on drums?”

Bang Chan: “uhhhh well ok hold up we have some rearranging to do…”

With 5 people in the band now, they have a full house!

Yet they’re somehow still missing a bass guitar…

For their previous 2 performances, they had used a recording of a synth bass that Chan had thrown together with Jeongin’s help

But they kinda have to tackle this problem now

Jisung’s really good at lead guitar, Changbin’s the best at drums out of the 5 of them, and Jeongin already learned many tricks on keyboard

So either Chan or Hyunjin have to take up bass

Hyunjin isn’t super comfortable with learning a new instrument again (he just learned drums, after all)

So Chan—being the multi-talented man he is—takes up bass himself

(It’s not his forte, but it’ll do for now!)

Instead of playing rhythm guitar in Chan’s place, Hyunjin writes a couple songs of his own and takes up lead vocals for their 3rd performance!!

After that performance, a certain Kim Seungmin notices they’re down a rhythm guitarist…

Even though he’s majoring in vocal music, Seungmin decides to teach himself rhythm guitar in hopes that he can join the band

One day, when Seungmin is jamming out, a certain band leader walks in…

…and immediately tries to recruit him LMAO he’s kind of desperate

Now they’ve got a team of 6!

But Chan isn’t having a great time with bass lol rip

Chan, now working on a Master’s degree in Music, has less time for the band

He’s confident in taking more time off now that Hyunjin has taken up lead vocals (and the other members also sing for certain songs)

But the rest of the team is getting really excited to perform at an annual campus music festival which, frankly, Chan doesn’t have the time to practice for

After talking with the team, the consensus is that they really need a (proper) bassist

((LMAO that was like an unintentional pun like. They need an assist. But it’s a bassist LJKFDHLKJS sorry bad joke moving on))

IV: Full House

One of Hyunjin’s fellow dance classmates, Minho, auditions for fun in hopes he can help out

Minho’s part of a dance team that’s also performing at the festival, so he can't perform with them on stage (doesn’t have time to perfect it, basically)

But he knows a bit of bass guitar and offers to play during practices so they can hear the bass parts

Although he isn’t the greatest at it, he’s a good fill-in while Chan focuses on uni

That’s when their angel Felix comes in!!

Chan recognizes Felix from their high school choir, so he knows the kid has got a knack for performing music in there somewhere

So he asks Felix to learn bass for them as a permanent member

Since Chan and Minho are already not the greatest at bass, Felix struggles a bit to learn from them

He gets the hang of it, though, and quickly becomes an expert!

So let’s do a recap:

Bang Chan: vocals, songwriting, arrangement, mostly mia due to uni

Jisung: lead guitar

Jeongin: keyboard/synth

Changbin: drums

Hyunjin: lead vocals, songwriting

Seungmin: rhythm guitar

Felix: bass guitar

So what’s Minho up to?

Turns out, the guy is a natural at drums!! (For the same reason Hyunjin was)

So the crew, the kids, now at max capacity, take this opportunity to rotate which instrument they play for certain songs

With Minho on drums, Changbin’s able to take center stage and sing/rap some songs he wrote for himself

While Hyunjin occasionally switches over to keyboard so Jeongin can have some time in the spotlight to show off those stellar vocals

And they successfully rock their 4th performance at a concert on campus!

Needless to say, Papa Chan is super proud of them :’)) *wipes single tear*

V: Battle of the Bands

For their 5th and biggest appearance yet, the crew signs up for a city-wide Battle of the Bands

(Ahem, Kingdom: Legendary War)

Unfortunately, shortly after they sign up, Hyunjin has some personal issues to deal with and needs to take time off of the team

Needing a lead vocalist again, Chan returns to the band full-time!

He’s finishing up his master’s degree, but manages to make the time to practice

He has always been dedicated, you gotta give him that

They miss Hyunjin’s vocals, but Hyunjin is cheering for them from the sidelines!

AND THEY WIN FIRST PLACE WOOO!!! KINGS FR

With a win under their belt, the band performs together for the rest of the year with more attention than ever

They’re rocking with the big leagues now!

Before Chan graduates, the crew decides to organize one last performance with all 8 of them for their last uni music festival of the year

Chan does lead vocals with Hyunjin (a duet, if you will… Red Lights rock version *cough*)

Meanwhile Minho rotates between extra percussion or other smaller instruments (triangle, maracas, kazoo, harmonica, otamatone, whatever)

Their last performance goes out with a BANG (Chan) and is a huge success!!!

A certain group of alumni, Day6, come back to their old uni to watch lil Bang Channie all grown up with a band of his own :’)))

Even though Chan graduates soon after, he isn’t leaving the band!

No siree those are his kids hello

So the 8 of them work hard to become the next big boy band sensation all together, no matter how many instrument rotations it takes <3

[vallkyr]

Step Out

When the people you trust most leave you to get caught by the task force hunting you, what else is there to do but finding new allies?

Different account now but the gif has still been made by the lovely @agustdawn

Pairings: Chan x Kwangsun (OC), Chan x Felix, Minho x Jisung, Changbin x Hyunjin, Younghyun x Liam (OC), Siyeon x Jonghyeon, Aaron x Minhyun and other minor pairings

Genres: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, some Romance and bits of Fluff in between

Tags: Dystopia AU, Rebels AU

Chapter Tags: -

Rating: Mature

General Warnings: Violence, Injury, Panic Attacks, Minor Character Death

Chapter Warnings: mention of injury, scars

Word Count: 12,904

Masterpost

< Previous Chapter |

Hey everyone! Step Out is back after two years! To be honest, I had a hard time writing Step Out since the allegations against Woojin started coming up and it didn’t change after the allegations turned out to be fake. I just couldn’t keep the story the way it was so I decided to replace Woojin by an OC. And since I was already changing things I went ahead and made some more changes (like also replacing Jae by an OC), edited everything I had uploaded and so on. I feel way more comfortable writing Step Out now so I hope that the next update won’t take quite as long. Until then, please enjoy the 9th chapter 💕

Chapter 9 - The burden of secrets

Numbers. So many goddamn numbers. A whole damn block of them. As though the mission wasn’t enough already. It’s all so damn overwhelming. Missions require all the concentration and energy Minho can muster and they always leave his brain exhausted, drained and lazy. And now he has to decipher the fucking message in this condition. He’s been fiddling around on his phone and sharpening pencils for ages now. Minho sighs as he peeks over to the sheet of paper on his desk, trying to get himself to get to work.

11111 111111

101 10 010 1110 110 000000 0011 1110 000000 0100 0 000000 0100 0010 00 000000 1110 0011 100 1000 111111

1 0100 0 0 1000 1 101 0011 0100 0 000000 101 0100 000000 101 1101 1000 000000 101 1000 010 001 111111

01 1000 000000 01 0011 0101 0101 000000 1001 1000 101 000000 101 00 010 0011 0 0011 0 1001 000000 101 0100 000000 1001 0100 000000 0100 0 000000 001 0011 1110 1110 0011 0100 0 1110 000000 1110 0100 0100 0 111111

011 1000 0100 011 0101 1000 000000 1110 101 0011 0101 0101 000000 100 0011 1110 0101 0011 0001 1000 000000 0010 1110 111111

1101 0010 1001 000000 0101 0010 111 000000 110 00 0100 001 000000 001 1000 111111

His head hurts just thinking about deciphering all of that. The first message was already a pain in the ass and the prospect of more and more and more messages like this is daunting. Why did he agree to that anyways? Talking is so much easier. Why does this shit have to be so complicated? Minho should probably make a table. So far, he hasn’t had the time for that, and he had hoped to avoid it for safety reasons. But the more he thinks about it, the more he feels like it can’t be avoided. He really underestimated how much work these messages would be. Minho sighs once again while he gets the writing pad from the drawer and places it on the table next to the message. He takes a pencil and a ruler and starts drawing his grid before gradually filling it. Letter by letter, code by code.

After an hour or so the whole thing is finally complete – at least Minho guesses it was an hour. Time runs as fast as a snail when you try to figure out what the letter Q looks like in your secret code. Minho hates that the code has to be this complicated, but it’s safety first and convenience second in this situation. They mustn’t risk the DIT spying into their communication. If anyone was to find the messages, they would surely give them over to that hell hole of an organisation. Just like the government expects of a ‘good citizen’.

Needing a bit of a change for his tortured brain, Minho decides to put everything aside for now and go downstairs into the kitchen. As expected, Spear B, Felix and Jisung have already started preparing dinner. The sweetest smile spreads over Jisung’s face when he spots Minho in the doorway and gestures for him to come over.

“How is it going?” How is it possible for someone to be this beautiful while peeling a carrot? If B and Lux weren’t here, Minho would love to hug Jisung right now. It would be so lovely to be in Jisung’s embrace, feel his warmth and just forget about his code-wrecked brain. But they aren’t alone. The others’ presence feels like a dark shadow looming over Minho.

“It’s exhausting,” Minho admits. “I wish there was an easier way, but meeting Virus regularly would be too dangerous even if he takes turns with Mercury.”

Jisung hums in understanding. “Then you’re here to take a break? I’m sure we’ll find something for you.”

“Yes please. I really need to get my mind off things a little.”

Without hesitation, Felix grabs his cutting board and sets it down in front of Minho. “Have fun.” His voice sounds overly sweet and the wateriness of Felix’s eyes gives Minho a pretty solid idea of what his task is going to be. Minho’s fear is confirmed when he looks down and is met with stinging in his own eyes. Onions. That explains why Felix was so quick to leave and find himself something else to do. Cutting onions definitely isn’t Minho’s favourite task, but at this point every distraction from that damn code is welcome. Even onions.

“Should have known I’d end up with that.” Despite the tears already forming in his eyes, Minho picks up the knife and gets to work. With the four of them all going about their tasks, they’re soon done preparing everything and can get to cooking, which Felix takes upon himself despite Minho’s protests. From then on Minho, Jisung and B are basically… useless. Everything they can do is keep Felix company and occasionally hand him ingredients. Jisung and Spear B soon start chatting with Felix occasionally chipping in when he isn’t too busy. Minho doesn’t have much to contribute except for a few sentences here and there. His mind is running a mile a minute and is completely empty at the same time. There’s so much to do, so much to think about, but Minho can’t seem to focus on anything. So many 0s and 1s are still circling through his brain.

“Dinner should be done soon,” Felix says before turning towards them. “Can one of you set the table?”

“On my way,” Minho says without hesitation. He is already getting plates from the cupboard when Jisung, who has been sitting on the kitchen counter since he finished peeling carrots, scoots over to him.

“Can I give you a hand?” When he sees Jisung like this, Minho almost forgets they had a mission today. Jisung looks calm and cosy in his oversized sweater that Minho is pretty sure is actually his own. He has been stealing more and more clothes from Minho lately, which should be annoying. But Minho finds it weirdly endearing. He could probably get his clothes back if he really wanted to, though he really prefers seeing them on Jisung over having them wait for him in the closet.

“Sure.”

Jisung slides down from the counter, helps Minho gather everything they need and carry it over to the dining room. Minho is about to go back to the kitchen and get glasses for them when Jisung stops him with a hand on his wrist. The little touch has Minho’s body shift down from forcing himself to function into just existing. He can finally let himself feel his tiredness and exhaustion without pushing it away. When Jisung tugs at his arm, Minho lets his heavy body be pulled away from the archway leading to the kitchen, into the privacy of the little dining room. “Are you okay?” Jisung’s pretty eyes are full of worry as he takes a closer look at Minho. “You seem so quiet.”

“Yeah it’s okay. I’m just exhausted and that message is eating my last brain cells.”

Jisung hums like he’s trying to come up with a way to make it better. Minho simply steps closer and lets his head drop onto Jisung’s shoulder. After a moment Jisung slings his arms around Minho and holds him close. Having Jisung hug him lets Minho forget about the code, about the table, about Felix and B in the kitchen, about everything. It feels like Jisung knocked over the glass of his mind and let all the stuff keeping him busy pour out before setting it down again. After a while Jisung starts humming a low tune and lightly swaying them back and forth. Minho can’t help but giggle as he closes his eyes and allows himself to sink deeper into Jisung’s embrace.

“You guys are taking ages. Do you need help with setting the table?” Hearing Spear B’s voice makes Minho tense up. He gives Jisung a quick slap on the butt that has Jisung smile to himself before stepping away from him. When Minho heads back into the kitchen, Jisung follows close behind him and helps him finish setting the table just in time for lunch to be ready.

Minho feels a lot more at ease when they’re eating. The weight of the day feels a little lighter now that he gets to have a break for once. Since Felix did most of the actual cooking, B and Jisung volunteer to do the dishes after dinner. Though hesitant, Minho goes back to decoding after clearing the table for them. He still isn’t enthusiastic about having to work again, but Minho’s brain definitely feels fresher after a bit of distraction and a tad of Jisung. Hopefully working with the code will be easier now that he has a table. He’ll just have to be a bit more careful now so nobody else gets their hands on it.

[-]

“Don’t stop.” Younghyun cracks an eye open to look up at Liam. Thankfully his request works and makes his boyfriend go right back to patting Younghyun’s hair.

“I should have gotten a dog instead.” Despite his words, Liam doesn’t stop or makes a move to get Younghyun’s head off his lap. “A dog would just fall asleep after five minutes and I could watch TV in peace.”

“A dog can’t cook dinner for you.” Noticing Liam directing a critical look at the empty pizza boxes, Younghyun quickly adds. “Not even on a good day.” As much as he loves cooking with Liam, after hearing that Jungkook is injured and having to deliver the news to Bambam Younghyun had been happy to just drop onto the couch and eat. He still feels exhausted, but it doesn’t matter anymore. Younghyun’s home.

“You underestimate my ability to teach a dog tricks.”

“My bad, I forgot your secret career as a dog trainer.” Younghyun fully opens his eyes and grins up at his boyfriend, who shakes his head and focuses on the TV again. “Speaking of dinner, Chan accepted the invitation. Is tomorrow alright?”

“Sure, I can go grocery shopping after work if we still need anything.” It takes a while before the question Younghyun was already expecting follows. “Any idea what we’ll cook?”

The same old problem. It’s been years and yet the struggle of ‘What can we cook?’ never gets any easier. “No, you?”

“Nope.”

“Fuck.” He and Liam start giggling. Younghyun really should have expected this when he invited Chan over. Deciding what they want to have for dinner is already hard enough when it’s just the two of them, but guests always make it even more difficult because they can’t bullshit their way through it and hope the result is edible. “I could ask Chan if he has any preferences.”

Liam gasps in fake surprise. “You’re a genius.”

“Bet a dog wouldn’t have been able to come up with that.” Younghyun chuckles.

“That’s it. Get off my lap.” It’s obvious Liam isn’t serious, but Younghyun sits up nonetheless and shifts to sit next to Liam. As soon as that’s done, he leans closer to kiss Liam’s cheek. Liam seems almost surprised. A little smile fills his face before morphing into a slightly suspicious frown. “What did you do?”

Younghyun rolls his eyes. Obviously, he cannot possible show affection if he didn’t screw up and accidentally wash a red sock with the white laundry. “Nothing. Just trying to thank you for your helping with delivering the news to my unit. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

Liam’s gaze softens. “It was still you doing all the work,” he insists. “I just did my part to calm you down for that.”

Younghyun only hums in agreement. They don’t need any more words. Just locking eyes is enough for Younghyun to know Liam understands how important his support was even if he’s playing it down.

It’s Liam who eventually breaks the warm silence between them. “We should go to sleep. If we can’t manage to have a healthy sleeping schedule, you should at least get some rest after missions.”

Sadly he does have a point with that. Younghyun feels utterly exhausted after the mission and the situation surrounding Jungkook. It takes a bit of effort to get up from the couch, but they eventually make their way to the bathroom to get ready for bed. While they brush their teeth Younghyun watches Liam, who is already stripped down to his briefs and one of Younghyun’s shirts, run his hand through his hair, probably deciding that the dye needs to be freshened up in the near future. To anyone else the situation would look so mundane. But seeing Liam in all his half-dressed glory with toothpaste on his lips has Younghyun feel warm and fuzzy inside. The earlier ‘I’ll see you at home.’ is still present in his mind, because nothing describes what Liam is to him like the word home. Being with Liam makes Younghyun feel safe and at peace. No matter what happens, what might shake up their lives, they handle it side by side. Just like they have been doing for the past seven years already.

Younghyun is snapped out of his thoughts when Liam slaps him on the ass. “Did you fall asleep with your eyes wide open? You know you’re supposed to lie down and close your eyes first, right?”

“So that’s what I’ve been doing wrong,” Younghyun mutters while following Liam into their bed. He straddles Liam’s waist and bends down to kiss him while carding his hand through Liam’s chestnut coloured hair. When he pulls back, Liam has the softest smile on his face. They stay like this for a while, looking at each other, Younghyun twirling a strand of Liam’s hair around his finger. If it was an option for them, Younghyun would have asked Liam to marry him then and there. It’s not like either of them needs a ring or certificate whatever – the thought is kind of ridiculous to be honest – but the thought of making it official that they want to spend the rest of their lives together is kind of nice regardless. Though as things stand, they wouldn’t be able to get married no matter if they wanted to or not. At least not here.

“You know that I love you, right?”

“I do.” Liam chuckles. “Love you too, you sap.” Younghyun kisses Liam again and wishes him a good night before sliding out of Liam’s lap and into bed next to him. He falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow knowing that he’s home.

[-]

Jisung stops in the door frame to their room when he sees Minho still bent over the desk. Minho looks fully concentrated and totally exhausted at the same time, which is a shame considering how relaxed he had seemed after dinner. Did the little break change anything at all? How Jisung wishes he could do more for Minho. He already puts his all into supporting Minho, cheering him up and making sure he relaxes after a hard day. But it never feels like enough, especially not when Minho looks this worn out. “What are you up to?”

Minho jumps up like a scared deer and immediately scrambles to cover his notes with his arms and upper body. It’s a strange sight, like he’d defend those notes with his life. “Sungie. I thought you and Spear B were doing the dishes.”

Jisung carefully steps into the room and closes the door after himself. “We’re done?” This is odd. Jisung understands if he scared Minho because Minho was focused and didn’t hear him come in. But this? It’s almost as if he’s trying to hide something from Jisung. What can be so drastic about those papers that Jisung isn’t allowed to catch as much as a glimpse of them? “Is something the matter? You seem weird…”

“No, it’s nothing. It’s just that I made myself a table for deciphering the code.” Minho leans back in his chair, giving up his defence over the stack of paper. Though he turns them around nonetheless. He still refuses to let Jisung see a thing of what he’s written down. “I mean you know the drill. If you end up getting questioned about this-”

“The less I know the better.” Jisung scoffs as he walks over to the bed and lets himself fall down onto it. This is so frustrating. Even though he’s kind of relieved Minho isn’t keeping any actual secrets from him, it sucks that Jisung isn’t allowed to learn the code. He wishes he could help Minho with deciphering or writing messages or do anything else useful aside from assisting Minho in planning.

“Jisung…” Worry sounds through Minho’s voice as he gets up, follows Jisung to the bed and crouches down on the floor in front of him. Just hearing Minho say his name pushes the negative feelings back a bit. No matter how chaotic and awful things around them might get, at the very least they’ll always have each other. Things between them have been going so well. They used to spend basically every free minute together anyways, but they’ve become even closer since they’ve been living here together.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll just read a bit while you work on the messages.”

“You sure?” Minho’s gaze is so gentle that just looking into his eyes releases a swarm of butterflies in Jisung’s stomach. Jisung wonders if he’ll ever fully get used to the way he melts into a puddle around Minho.

“Yeah. Now hurry up and get everything done. The sooner you’re back the sooner can I start cuddling you.”

“True.” Minho is smiling when he rises from the floor again. He stops midway to place a little kiss on Jisung’s lips. “Can’t wait.” Jisung can’t wait either. The thought of burying his face in Minho’s chest and breathing in Minho’s scent while they snuggle as close as they can already feels so wonderful. It will be like heaven to fall asleep in Minho’s arms after the mission. Damnit, Minho really needs to hurry and finish those messages.

“I’m rooting for you!” Jisung calls. The chuckle sends a little tremble through Minho’s shoulders, which is the most endearing thing ever. Jisung takes a moment to look at Minho’s back, basks in the warm feeling that spreads through his chest from being around his boyfriend. It never ceases to amaze Jisung how strong Minho is. Everyone feels exhausted after their missions yet here Minho is, still fulfilling his duties even though he probably wants to just fall into bed and sleep more than anyone. It’s so much work to plan their missions and it must be even more tiring to keep track of everyone and everything during the mission itself. How Minho can stay on top of it all is beyond Jisung’s comprehension.

Deciding to stay true to his words, Jisung gets up from the bed, walks over to the book shelve by the windows and starts looking through everything. Since this is – or rather used to be – the bedroom of Changbin’s parents, most of the books are… not really to Jisung’s liking. There’s stuff about business tactics, handling human resources, and ways to relax at work as well as literary classics that bore Jisung just from looking at them. The depressing choice of books makes Jisung glad he decided keep some books he stole from Changbin’s sister on the nearby side board. Jisung picks one that looks interesting, lies down on the bed again and starts reading.

The book isn’t quite as good as Jisung had hoped –well, it’s only the beginning anyways – but it keeps him busy. After a while, there’s shuffling at the desk, which immediately makes Jisung peeks over the pages of his books. Minho rips a piece from a blank sheet of paper and starts noting down his reply. Even from across the room, Jisung can tell Minho is hurrying. As soon as it’s done, he jumps up, turns around and proudly presents the note to Jisung.

00011 111111

0100 1011 1110 0101 111111

0100 1011 0000 000000 0100 1001 001 100 11 000000 1011 01 000000 0101 1011 010 110 1 000000 0101 1011 1110 0101 111111

1 010 0001 0001 01 0001 000000 111 10 1001 1000 000000 100 001 011 111111

Jisung doesn’t know what it says, the only meaning that matters to him is that Minho comes towards him with big steps. Jisung barely has time to put the book in his hands aside before Minho is already tackling him in a hug. They nestle together, Minho lying on top of Jisung like a blanket. Jisung wraps his arms around Minho and starts rubbing his back in slow, soothing motions. “Are you going to bring that note to your mailbox today?”

“No, it can wait until tomorrow morning. I just have to make it before Virus’ shift,” Minho mumbles into the crook of Jisung’s neck. “I just want to sleep now.”

“You can’t sleep fully clothed though.” Jisung emphasises his point by pulling at the elastic of Minho’s sweatpants before letting it snap against his skin.

“Sure I can.” Minho already sounds half asleep. “Just watch me.”

Seeing no other way to motivate his boyfriend, Jisung pushes Minho off of him, earning himself a frustrated whine. Giggling, Jisung rolls Minho onto his back, gets onto his knees and pulls Minho up by the arms. “Come on.” Minho still pretends to be annoyed by Jisung’s attempts to get him out of bed, making himself deadweight in Jisung’s arms. But the smile on his lips says otherwise.

“You could just undress me here.”

“Tempting,” Jisung admits. “But I can’t brush your teeth here.” Minho groans in annoyance when Jisung finally succeeds in hoisting Minho off the bed and into a standing position. Thinking that this will be enough, Jisung turns to walk away, but is stopped by arms circling his waist. With Minho basically glued to his back, Jisung drags both of them to the bathroom.

[-]

Jungkook’s mind feels fuzzy when he wakes up to a dark room. He can’t even remember going to bed last night. Except this isn’t his bed. Or his bedroom. Where is he? Where else would he be? Is he staying over at someone else’s place? Once Jungkook’s eyes are used to the darkness he takes a look around himself. This is a hospital room. And he’s the patient. He vaguely remembers waking up in the recovery room and that he was transferred, but he must have passed out again right after. What happened?

And what’s that sound? Water? Why would water be running in the middle of the night? Jungkook tries to sit up, but the pain in his leg stops him. He remains propped up on his elbows to take another look around the room. He got a single bed room, so there’s no roommate who could be showering at absurd hours. It could be from next door though? That’s probably it, right? What else would it be? Jungkook lets himself fall back onto the bed and closes his eyes. He’s so damn tired. No matter he much he must have slept already if it became night in the meantime, he doesn’t feel the least bit refreshed.

Suddenly the water stops followed by the sound of the shower door opening and the rustling of a towel. It’s too loud to be from a different room. But who would be here? The walls are probably just thinner than Jungkook would have thought. He should be sleeping instead of worrying his head over weird noises. Jungkook is about to doze off when the bathroom door creaks, making Jungkook snap his eyes open and – for lack of a better memory – try to sit up again. Fucking shit.

“Hey, careful.” Jimin rushes closer to his bed. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes…” Jimin? Why is Jimin here? He was on the ambulance with Jungkook, right? Yes, if nothing else Jungkook definitely remembers Jimin holding his hand in the ambulance. But what is he doing in Jungkook’s room? Jungkook looks up at Jimin, only now noticing the towel hanging over Jimin’s shoulders. His gaze wanders farther up to Jimin’s hair that is dripping water onto his shirt. Jimin showered in his hospital room? “What are you doing here?”

“You don’t remember?” Jimin chuckles while pulling a chair over to the bed and sitting down beside Jungkook. “We talked after you woke up. I asked you if I could shower here and you said it was fine.”

“Uhm.” Jungkook’s mind is completely blank. He can’t remember waking up before or talking to Jimin, but he can’t imagine that Jimin would lie about something like that. Why would he, anyways? “I don’t know. I guess I fell asleep right after.”

“Looks like it. Sorry if I startled you.” A warm smile takes over Jimin’s face. How come he looks so gorgeous without even doing anything? There’s something so gentle and cosy about seeing Jimin freshly out of the shower wearing a plain, white shirt. Immediately, Jungkook’s thoughts start wandering again. He remembers the way Jimin held his hand in the ambulance, how much strength Jimin’s presence was giving him. If he focuses, he can still feel Jimin’s warmth. As much as Jungkook would love to stay right here, look at Jimin and wallow in memories, he really needs to get to the bathroom. Now. But he doesn’t even manage to get out of bed before pain jolts through his leg once again.

“Wait.” Jimin jumps up, fetches a pair of crutches from the end of the bed and hands them to Jungkook. “Do you need any help?” Even now that Jungkook’s injury has been taken care of, Jimin is still worrying about Jungkook.  Jungkook would find it sweet if he wasn’t so busy feeling guilty about it.

“I don’t know.” Jungkook is still wobbly when he gets up, but he somehow manages to get himself standing on his intact leg. Despite this, Jimin doesn’t seem totally convinced that he’s fine. He follows every single one of Jungkook’s slow steps as though he fears Jungkook might collapse any second. Jimin even pushes the bathroom door open for Jungkook, which is when Jungkook stops for a moment. “I think I can do the rest by myself.”

“You sure?” Jimin’s voice is smug as he tilts his head to the side and looks at Jungkook in a way that has Jungkook weak in his knees. And that’s even though he can barely see Jimin in the darkness of the hospital room. This is really the wrong moment to be whipped, Jungkook needs every bit of his strength his legs have in stock.

“Yes.” Jungkook definitely is sure. He’s never been surer in his life. A mere second later, Jimin breaks into giggles and goes to sit down in his chair again. Jungkook almost sighs in relief. He doubts his pride would survive Jimin helping him on the toilet. When Jungkook returns Jimin is still sitting in the chair, which almost surprises Jungkook. Part of him thought he might be having hallucinations from the anaesthesia. It’s only now that Jungkook realises Jimin is still in his uniform pants. The jacket that goes with it hangs from the back of the chair Jimin is sitting on.

“Is something wrong?” Jimin asks after Jungkook has apparently looked at him for a bit too long. His voice goes back to sounding worried so quickly it really bothers Jungkook. He doesn’t want to worry Jimin, especially not with something as simple as spacing out for a moment.

“You’ve been here the entire time?”

Jimin briefly looks down on himself before nodding. “Yeah. I didn’t want you to be alone.” He runs his hand through his still damp hair. “Besides I still need to interrogate you and report to the Corporal. That can wait until tomorrow though. You need to rest now.”

“So do you.” Jungkook finally makes his way back to the bed. In an instant, Jimin is back by his side, helps him lift his injured leg onto the mattress and get comfortable again. Jimin pulls his chair even closer, right next to the bed, and takes Jungkook’s hand into his just like he had done in the ambulance. Immediately, Jungkook’s cheeks starts heating up. Hopefully Jimin can’t see him blush in the dark. Gosh, why does Jungkook have to be so nervous because of something so simple? Jimin always makes him feel like some stupid teenager having his very first crush.

“I’m really glad you’re fine, Jungkook-ah.”

“Thank you.” What else could he say to that? Jungkook has no idea how he even manages to keep his voice in check, but he’s grateful for himself. At least that part of talking still works. Jimin holding his hand is still so foreign and it makes Jungkook’s heart race like crazy. How come this is actually happening for the second time in one day? “What did the doctors tell you?” Great. Change the topic when he’s getting emotional. Perfect. Exactly what Jungkook really wants.

“Not much,” Jimin admits. “Just that surgery went well and that you should be back on track in a few weeks. I’m sure they’ll tell you everything in more detail tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” Jungkook still has no idea what to say. Usually conversations with Jimin are so easy, but now there’s this strange tension. It’s not a bad one per se, but one that’s way more emotional than anything they’ve shared before. This is probably just because of the shock, Jungkook tells himself, Jimin must have been worried about losing a member of his unit. Jungkook tries his best to ignore the part of him that just wants to pull Jimin close and kiss him when Jimin absentmindedly rubs his thumb over the back of Jungkook’s hand. The little, maybe meaningless, gesture feels so damn intimate. Jungkook really needs to get a hold of himself, just because Jimin is holding his hand doesn’t mean he wants anything beyond that. But obviously, Jimin isn’t going to let getting a grip be easy.

“We should go to sleep now.” Seeing Jimin’s gentle smile in the dark, alongside his low voice and the words he’s saying make Jungkook’s mind run crazy. Even though he highly doubts Jimin is going to lie down next to him, Jungkook immediately wonders what it would be like. He’d give everything to experience going to bed with Jimin, seeing him in one of Jungkook’s shirts, hugging him from behind and making him smile by whispering ‘Good night.’ into his ear. Fuck, Jungkook should not be having these kinds of thoughts about his Lance Corporal.

“You’re right. Good night, Jimin-ah.” Jungkook kind of expected Jimin to complain about the lack of honorifics the way he usually does. But today he just shakes his head and smiles. What’s with him today? Jungkook isn’t sure whether he should be relieved or sad when Jimin eventually lets go of his hand. Though Jungkook is sure he doesn’t like it when Jimin retreats to his chair, despite expecting it. Even with the way Jimin leans back, it doesn’t seem comfortable in the least. He can’t really lie down, he doesn’t have any kind of blanket and without any kind of armrests, chances are Jimin might just tip over to the side. Jungkook feels kind of bad for making Jimin sleep like that. It doesn’t matter that none of this was Jungkook’s idea, Jimin decided it all on his own. “The bed is big enough, you know? You could lie down with me.” Oh dear lord, did Jungkook really just suggest they share a hospital bed?

The beat of silence that passes afterwards makes Jungkook’s nervousness so much worse. Was that offer too much? Did he make things weird? He went too far, didn’t it? Maybe Jungkook should have just kept quiet. But then again, there’s no harm asking right? It’s the least he can do when Jimin takes care of him like that. “That’s nice,” Jimin eventually replies. “But I think it would be safer if I stayed in the chair. I don’t want to hurt you while we sleep.”

“Ah right…” The answer makes Jungkook feel a little stupid. Of course Jimin wouldn’t lie down in bed with him. He shouldn’t have suggested that.

“It still hasn’t set in that you’re injured, huh?” When Jimin smiles all the negative thoughts come to a halt. Jungkook just really likes Jimin’s eye smile, when his eyes nearly disappear and his full lips curl up.

“Not really,” Jungkook admits. “Everything happened so fast.” One moment Jungkook was still going after I.N, the next Bora is dragging him out of the building. Something that happened in a matter of second will take him weeks to recover. It seems so ridiculous.

“I’m sure you’ll come to terms with everything once you have a bit of time to yourself.”

“Yeah maybe.” Even when Jimin wishes him a good night once again, leans back in his chair and closes his eyes, Jungkook has trouble looking away from him. Despite all the complicated feelings that come with it, Jungkook is really glad Jimin is here. He wouldn’t have wanted to be alone after this mess. Wasn’t that exactly want Jimin was going for? That Jungkook wouldn’t feel like he’s all by himself after everything that has happened? “Thank you for being here, it means a lot,” Jungkook mutters, a smile tugs at Jimin’s lips but he doesn’t say anything. Jungkook doesn’t know for how long he continues looking at Jimin until he finally falls asleep.

[-]

“Good morning you two. I’m Lance Corporal Kang Dongho of battle team unit C.” Despite the cheerful smile and friendly tone, Chan feels kind of intimidated by the man standing in front of them. Lance Corporal Kang is only a little taller than Chan, but with a noticeably broader built. And he’s definitely way more muscular than both Chan and Kwangsun. Aside from his physical appearances, just the words “battle team” leave an uneasy feeling in Chan’s gut. He still hasn’t forgotten the looks they got on their first day. Though at the very least, he can’t remember Lance Corporal Kang being among the people who death glared at them. So Chan has hope that the Lance Corporal wasn’t completely forced to work with them and may have even volunteered to work with them. One is allowed to dream after all. “The Corporals and Sergeant Park decided that it would be good for you to come along when our division marches out. It’s my task to make sure you are prepared for that.”

“We will go on missions with you guys?” Sitting in the office and being asked questions is one thing, but going out and actively fighting Stray Kids is different. Would they have to carry guns like the real DIT members? Would they have to shoot if they came across one of the members? The thought makes Chan’s blood freeze. He can’t do that. He can’t point a gun at them. He can’t go that far.

But he has to. Chan was resolved to do everything it takes, he mustn’t back down now.

“Exactly. Sergeant Park thinks it will be good to have you there since you know the way Stray Kids operate better than anyone else.”

“Okay…”

Kwangsun seems to notice his discomfort if the way he steps closer is anything to go by. Chan turns around to look at him, feeling a bit reassured by the hint of a smile on Kwangsun’s face. No matter what happens, he’s not alone. They’re going to do all of this together.

“What exactly is the plan?” Kwangsun asks after turning back to Lance Corporal Kang. Chan is pretty glad he’s taking over talking; he really doesn’t feel like doing it right now.

“Well first of all we’ll have to figure out your current skill level and which areas still need work in. Then we’ll have to make sure you meet the requirements of the DIT. After all we don’t want to put you at risk when marching out with us.”

“When are we going to start?”

“Right now.” Lance Corporal Kang beams at them. “There are some workout clothes for you on the table over there. We’ll practice every day after lunch break until 4pm. The people of my unit will be in the common room or with unit A so we have this room to ourselves for practice.”

Oh. Chan had hoped for a little more time to stomach the news. The thought of going after the rest of Stay Kids is still so foreign he doesn’t feel ready to start training for it. Contrary to him, Kwangsun doesn’t seem to have much of a problem with the situation. Without any bit of hesitation, he walks over to the table and grabs himself a set from one pile of the aforementioned clothes. They’re supposed to change here? In the practice room? In front of Lance Corporal Kang?

Chan takes a deep breath to steady himself. He may be a bit out of practice by now, but it can’t be that hard. Nobody is paying attention to him anyways, right? Then why is there still this fear bubbling up inside of him? He glances over at Kwangsun and the Lance Corporal, finding them still chatting. Good. At least there’s that. If he hurries they won’t see. Chan grabs the shirt from his pile of clothes, backs himself against the wall, quickly slips out of the shirt and into the new one. As soon as the fabric slides over his skin he starts to feel more at ease again. When he looks up, Kwangsun and Lance Corporal Kang are still talking about some workout. Neither of them seems to have noticed anything. Feeling a bit more relaxed now that the worst part is done, Chan takes the pair of grey sweatpants from the table and changes the rest of the way. He’ll really have to find a different way to do this if they’re going to continue training with Lance Corporal Kang.

[-]

“Good morning!” Jungkook frowns when a cheerful voice rips him out of his sleep. Why is hospital staff at war with sleep? Wouldn’t sleeping in be beneficial for his recovery or something? When Jungkook tries to sit up a bit, his gaze immediately lands on Jimin who’s still sleeping slumped on the chair. He actually stayed here all night? The nurse currently chattering about the beautiful weather today doesn’t seem to have noticed Jimin’s presence yet. Jungkook waits for her to look at him before lifting his finger to his lips and nodding over to the chair. The nurse freezes in her movements and breathes a silent “Oh.” as soon as she spots Jimin. Luckily, Jimin seems to still be sound asleep despite her loud voice. He must be a heavy sleeper. “Should I come back later?” the nurse mouths.

Jungkook nods, smiling when she gives him a thumbs up and leaves his room again. Still feeling incredibly tired, Jungkook lies down and tries to get comfortable again. But of course, he can’t seem to close his eyes when Jimin is right next to him. In his sleep, Jimin slid down on the chair a bit. His legs are spread far apart, his arms are crossed in front of his chest and his head is hanging low. The sunlight streaming in through the stark white curtains is playing with Jimin’s jet black hair. Jungkook is glad Jimin didn’t wake up when the nurse came in, not just because it gives him the opportunity to stare a little bit. (Yes, Jungkook is aware that’s kind of creepy.) Mainly, Jungkook is glad Jimin gets to sleep a bit more. Jimin really stayed here over night just so Jungkook wouldn’t be alone. He must have been so exhausted after the mission. Despite all the difficulties, Jimin chose being there for Jungkook over his well-deserved rest. Knowing that Jimin would do anything for their unit is one thing, experiencing it a totally different one. And having Jimin do it for him specifically has Jungkook’s heart race a little.

No matter how nice it may be to have Jimin care for him like that, Jungkook is worried about him. It’s probably ridiculous. Jimin knows his limits; he doesn’t need anyone to fuss over him. Even before Jimin became their Lance Corporal, Jungkook has always been impressed by his strength, both physical and mental. Jimin may have a handsome face and a rather slim build, especially compared to a lot of guys on the battle team, but that doesn’t mean he can’t kick ass. On top of that, Jimin knows how to lead a team. He has no trouble joking around with everyone but is well aware of when enough is enough and how to keep them on track when needed. It’s not surprising he was picked to become Lance Corporal after Jongdae left. Jimin is amazing as a person and as a leader. He gives so much when he doesn’t have to. And here Jungkook goes again, getting carried away when he allows his thoughts about Jimin to flow.

It’s crazy how tired operations – and thinking about your crush - can make you. Before Jungkook knows it, he’s dozing off again. Whether it’s for ten minutes or two hours, Jungkook doesn’t know, only that he wakes up when Jimin stirs awake on his chair. “Good morning,” Jungkook mumbles while pushing himself up into a sitting position.

Jimin rubs the sleep out of his eyes while sitting up. “Mornin’.” He rolls his shoulders before pushing his arms up to stretch, whining softly while he does so. Oh dear lord, Jimin looks so soft. So huggable. And just like that Jungkook is back to the fantasy of last night: sharing a bed with Jimin, seeing him in one of Jungkook’s shirts with dishevelled hair and a slow tired smile on his face. For fuck’s sake Jungkook has been having these kind of thoughts under control while they’re at work, why are his feelings acting up now? Is it because of everything that happened yesterday? Or is it just because they’re alone? When they do meet outside of work it’s usually with the other members of the unit. Jungkook is totally not used to getting to put his full attention on Jimin without worrying about anyone else getting suspicious.

“How are you feeling today?” Jimin mumbles. His voice is still a little rough, but Jimin seems to slowly be coming alive.

“Alright, I guess. But I haven’t tried to move yet so who knows?”

“Good, keep it up.” Jimin wags his finger at Jungkook and chuckles before getting up from his spot and starting to stretch his limbs. It takes all of Jungkook’s self-restraint, but Jungkook manages not to stare at the stretch of skin that is exposed when Jimin’s shirt rides up from the little exercises. “I still have to interview you on the whole incident.” Jimin doesn’t sound happy about having to conduct this interview in the least, but Jungkook guesses there’s no way around it. Since Jimin can’t seem to find anything to write on, he starts a recording on his phone and begins with the interview.

Even after having had more time to process everything, there isn’t much Jungkook can tell Jimin about yesterday’s events. The incident with I.N just happened too fast. Jimin asks him question after question, coaxing more details out of Jungkook than he thought would be possible. But in the end, it still doesn’t feel like much. After they reach the limits of Jungkook’s memory, Jimin thanks him and starts packing up his stuff. “I should probably get going. What time is it?” Truth be told, Jungkook is feeling a little disappointed that their time is over already. Well, it’s probably obvious that he doesn’t want Jimin to leave. It would be too good to be true if Jimin was able to stay with him.

“I have no idea,” Jungkook admits. He hasn’t even considered checking the clock until now. As he found out today, when he’s alone with Jimin time doesn’t matter. But sadly, it matters to Jimin. He checks his phone, groaning as soon as the screen lights up.

“Fuck, I should be at work already.” Jimin quickly puts on his jacket. “Sorry, I wish I could stay longer. Are you going to be okay?” No. Definitely not. Jimin needs to stay here and personally nurse Jungkook back to health.

“Yeah, don’t worry about me.”

Jimin smiles. He finally smiles again. Words can’t express how much Jungkook loves Jimin’s smile. “Great. I’ll make sure to drop by again after work. Behave until then.” Already about to leave, Jimin stops in the doorframe and turns around again. “Oh and Jungkook-ah?”

“Yes?”

“The way I know you you’re going to try and hurry to get back with us. Please don’t do that. I know it’s hard to sit around and wait, but you need time to recover. Promise me you’ll take things slow for now.”

Jungkook swallows around the lump in his throat. There it is again, Jimin’s worry. But combined with the little smile on his face, it doesn’t feel quite as heavy, makes Jungkook’s heart flutter rather than weighing him down. “I promise.”

[-]

“Happy Birthday!!!”

The cheers are followed by the sound of a party horn right before Yeji is yanked forward. Hyunjin laughs as Yeji stumbles over the threshold and right into Yuna’s hug. “Thank you,” Yeji says in between giggles. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Sorry we’re late.” As soon as she’s inside the apartment, Yuna rushes to the couch to hug Jisu and Chaeryoung too.

“Yeah, someone took ages in the bathroom,” Ryujin explains with a pointed look at her sister while closing the door behind herself and Yeji. Ooh, there’s definitely some tension there.

“You’re one to talk. Your hair is easy to fix, Unnie!”

It obviously takes Ryujin a lot of self-control to limit her reaction to an eyeroll before finally hugging Yeji. “Happy Birthday, Jiji-ah. Be grateful you have a brother.”

Yeji just barely stops herself from bursting out laughing. “Brothers aren’t any better, trust me.”

“At least I don’t lose half a rabbit in hair every day,” Hyunjin eventually joins into the conversation. He had planned to go unnoticed for a bit longer, as he usually does. Since the couch is facing away from the kitchen his chances would have been pretty good if he had stayed quiet. But one has to defend themselves against defamation like that. Yeji scoffs at him, but Hyunjin ignores it in favour of bringing two more glasses to the couch table for Ryujin and Yuna before taking a seat on the bar stool by their little kitchen island.

“Anyways-” Jisu claps her hands together, effectively ending the almost fight- “now that everyone is here, we can finally get to the gifts!”

“Right!” Chaeryoung hurries to get the large bag she had set down in front of the hall stand and takes out two pastel-coloured boxes with ribbons wrapped around them. She smiles sweetly while coming back to the couch. “This is for you.” She hands one the boxes to Yeji before approaching Hyunjin, her smile turning a little more subtle. “And a little something for you.”

What? “For me?” Hyunjin asks while looking at the little mint green box now in his hands. It feels almost weird to accept the gift from Chaeryoung. He isn’t particular close with any of the girls, even less so after Yeji’s injury. Hyunjin can hardly endure being in a room with them for longer than a few minutes, which is why he’s been avoiding that as much as possible. Why would Yeji’s friends get a gift for him?

“Yeah. It’s your birthday too after all. I mean it’s really nothing big, but we wanted to give you a present too.” The tips of Chaeryoung’s ears turn pink as she talks.

“Thank you…” The last time Hyunjin got a gift from someone other than Yeji was ages ago. Aunt Minyoung had never really bothered with gifts; she had taken Hyunjin and Yeji out to eat on their birthday and that had been it. So getting gifts from Yeji’s friends – people who barely even know him – it feels strange. In a good way but still… weird.

Hyunjin unties the sky blue ribbon, lifts the lid of the box and is met with baby pink fluffiness. He reaches inside and pulls out the soft little thing, examining it from up close. “A hairband?” Hyunjin tries not to sound too confused, he really does, but he has no idea how Yeji’s friends got the idea of giving him a hairband.

“Yeji said your hair is getting way too long and keeps bothering you. She joked that she’d have to either buy you a hairband or cut your hair in your sleep,” Ryujin seems downright proud at having exposed Yeji’s slander of Hyunjin’s hair.

“We thought we should intervene before things get out of hand,” Yuna adds to it. Yeji and Ryujin are both giggling behind their hands. With the bit of context, Hyunjin can’t help but laugh as well. It also makes him want to hide all scissors in their apartment and start locking his door before going to bed, but that will have to wait. For now, he sets the box down on the table and starts putting the hairband on, though judging by the new increase in giggles he’s not doing a very good job. Luckily Chaeryoung is quick to come closer and fix the hairband for him.

“There you go,” she chimes, smiling when she takes a step back to observe her work. Somehow Chaeryoung can’t seem to look away. Hyunjin must be a sight with a pink hairband on his head.

“Looking good.” Thankfully, her words turn the room’s attention back to Yeji. Having everyone’s eyes on him was getting weird. Hyunjin and Chaeryoung eventually go to join the others. They push the coffee table against the wall and take a seat on the floor since it’s already a tight squeeze on the couch with Yeji, Ryujin, and Jisu there. As soon as Yeji opens her present, she starts laughing. “That’s a lot of chocolate.”

“Not just chocolate,” Yuna points out with an amused sparkling in her eyes. “There’s something else, but you need to find it first.” All of the girls look incredibly amused when Yeji laughs and starts unloading various chocolate bars, small boxes of filled chocolates and the like one by one. Basically, all her favourite chocolate snacks are featured in this present. Soon the already cramped couch is overflowing with little boxes and packages and Hyunjin starts to wonder how all of that was ever fit into the box.

“I think I found it!” Proudly, Yeji presents the small box she discovered at the bottom of the box. Her eyes grow wide when she opens it and peeks inside. “Oh my god,” she whispers while lifting a necklace out of the box and taking a closer look at it. The necklace consists of a rather plain, thin, golden chain with a flat heart shaped pendant dangling from it. “You really got that engraved?”

As the only one not involved in the gift, Hyunjin is absolutely clueless. He leans closer to Chaeryoung, whispering loud enough for only her to hear. “What does it say?”

Chaeryoung moves even closer before whispering into Hyunjin’s ear. “I believe in myself.” That’s such a sweet gift, considering the special place those words hold in Yeji’s heart. ‘I believe in myself’ has been her preferred motivational phrase since forever, but even more so after her injury.

“That’s a nice idea,” he replies as quietly as possible. Chaeryoung beams proudly and thanks Hyunjin. By now, Ryujin is helping Yeji put on the necklace while Yeji is checking her image with the front camera of Jisu’s phone.

“Thank you all so much. I love the necklace,” Yeji says with a bright smile. “And the chocolate of course.”

“You’re welcome,” the girls reply all at once before breaking into laughter at their unintentional synchronization. Hyunjin can’t help but smile at the whole scene. Yeji’s friends are such a cheerful lot and it always catches onto Yeji as well. She’s more carefree, more joyful around them. No matter how much Hyunjin avoids spending time with Yeji’s friends, he will always be grateful for everything they do for her.

“So now that the most important item on the agenda is done, how about we watch a movie?” Ryujin suggests when the laughter quiets down.

“Why do I feel like you already have something specific in mind?” Hyunjin scoots closer to the TV console filled with their CDs, DVDs and so on. It’s mostly old, but nonetheless valued, stuff: movies they already watched as kids, their first CDs and music their parents used to listen too.

“Howl’s moving castle,” Yuna suggests. Her face lights up when Yeji squeals in excitement. It’s Yeji’s favourite movie. Or rather their favourite movie, but Hyunjin doubts he really played a role in that choice. While Hyunjin turns to search for the right DVD, Ryujin switches on the TV. Whitin a second, the light atmosphere sours. Hyunjin grows tense when he looks up at the TV and realises why: the news channel that’s currently on is showing a report about yesterday’s Stray Kids attack. Hearing the words of the news lady makes Hyunjin’s blood freeze solid, even though he already checked the reports. Usually seeing the newscast after their missions isn’t this much of a problem – which is not to say it isn’t difficult – but now, with all of Yeji’s friends here, Hyunjin desperately wants to get away from here as soon as possible. How the hell is he supposed to not expose himself in front of everyone when the newsreader is talking about the injured Private?

“That reminds me.” Yuna’s voice sounds like it’s miles away. “I wanted to ask you how things are going with work. Were you at the attack yesterday?”

“No, sadly not. My unit said I need to really prepare myself first. I don’t want to rush things and end up being a burden to them. I want to make sure I’m actually ready before stepping out with everyone else,” Jisu explains.

“Then where were you during the attack?” Chaeryoung chimes in. Hyunjin can feel himself grow more and more and more nervous every time one of them speaks up. His heartbeat is hammering in his ears. He turns his head directs a pleading look at Yeji, hoping that she will be able to help somehow. But judging by her expression, she doesn’t know how to stop the conversation without being suspicious either. The DIT is an important topic for Yeji’s friends and trying to stop them whenever they talk about it or Stray Kids would soon catch the girl’s attention.

“I stayed in the rooms of the investigation team together with a lot of the other new members. Bang Chan and Park Kwangsun were there too. It was so weird to be around them.” Rather than just weirded out, Jisu sounds outright disgusted though. “I mean I know they were questioned by Lieutenant Yoon and all and officially help us now, but it just feels wrong to trust them. They’ve caused so much damage and harm and yet they were sitting there like regular members of the investigation team.”

The words cut through Hyunjin like knives. It’s so easy to forget what the average citizen thinks of Stray Kids when he’s living his regular life. This is like a hit in the face. If that’s Jisu’s opinion on Nine and Kkul – or rather Bang Chan and Park Kwangsun – what would she think of him who’s still out there going on missions? What would all of them think? Hyunjin takes a look at the girls and feels more and more stings in his heart realising that none of them would let him anywhere near Yeji anymore if they had any idea he’s a member of Stray Kids. When he meets Yeji’s gaze, she seems to know exactly what’s going on in Hyunjin’s head. There’s so much sadness in her eyes. A silent “I’m sorry.” hangs between them, which only makes Hyunjin feel worse. Yeji is the last person who should feel sorry for this situation. She’s the one suffering the most knowing that the most important people in her life are pitted against each other.

“I need to go,” Hyunjin blurts out before his brain can even think about it. “Totally forgot. My boss asked me to come in earlier today and help with stocktaking.”

A frown flickers across Yeji’s face but she’s quick to get it under control again. “Do you really have to go? Can’t someone else do it?”

“I’m afraid not. Sorry, ladies.” It’s hard to endure the pitying looks Ryujin, Yuna, Chaeryoung and Jisu give him. Poor birthday boy can’t even enjoy the party because he has to work. They have no idea. They don’t know anything. Hopefully they never will. “I wish you lots of fun, everyone. Don’t do anything stupid. And leave a piece of cake for me.”

Hyunjin quickly goes to his room and throws his door shut, feeling a bit of relief from just being out of the girls’ view. He releases a shaky breath and tries to collect himself. Hyunjin needs to get out of here as quickly as possible, he can’t bear this any longer. The looks, the talking about Stray Kids, everything. Hyunjin grabs his bag, drapes it over his shoulder, strides towards the door.

“Be careful!” Yeji calls when he’s already halfway through the door.

“Will do!” Bam. Silence. Peace. Loneliness. Now that Hyunjin’s alone in the hallway, he can barely hold back the tears any longer. He tries to stay as quiet as possible while hurrying into the elevator. Only when the doors close does he allow himself to really let go. Hyunjin quickly presses as many buttons as possible before letting himself sink to the ground. More and more sobs shake through his body as he hugs his legs to his chest. He has no idea how Yeji was able to handle this situation. All her friends developed a hatred for Stray Kids, or any sort of resistance really, after what happened to her. Hyunjin can’t even imagine how much pain he would be in if all of his friends hated his sister to death.

[-]

On his way home, Seungmin feels nothing but exhausted. Usually meeting up with I.N is fun, even though they have to be careful not to draw any attention towards them. But after yesterday’s events, I.N was still upset and their meeting became draining. Seungmin had hoped hanging out together would lift his spirits a bit, but it hadn’t done much good. Maybe it had been stupid of Seungmin to think cheering I.N up would be that easy. He shot at somebody else just yesterday. It must have been very traumatic for him. Thankfully, by now news has gotten out that the soldier in question is only mildly injured. Seungmin doesn’t want to know what it would do to I.N if he had caused serious or even lethal harm to someone. He can’t imagine what that would have been like for I.N, knowing he risked or much worse took someone’s life.

Despite the meeting with I.N having been rougher than expected, Seungmin doesn’t feel relieved when he’s standing in front of his home. As much as he loves his family, he doesn’t like being around any of them after missions. Every look, every word riles him up, makes him feel like they’re seeing right through him. It’s ridiculous and Seungmin knows it, but that doesn’t stop this horrible feeling from clawing its way into his chest. He doesn’t bother saying anything when he enters the house. Excellent ears run in the family;  everyone knows he’s home. Though rather than a voice, the noise of the TV greets Seungmin. It sounds like a newscast. Damnit. Of course, they’re watching the news. They’re always watching the news. Seungmin walks closer to the living room and peaks through the door, feeling a bit relieved when he realizes the report is about some sports team.

“Where were you?” Seungmin’s mother turns around as soon as she notices him. “You said you were going to be home for dinner.” Right, he did say that. Somehow he had completely forgotten about that while he was with I.N.

“I’m sorry. One of my friends is kind of going through a rough time and needed help.” It’s the closest to the truth Seungmin can be. He hates lying, especially to his family, but saying he helped a friend isn’t actually a lie. In a way he and I.N are friends after all. Though a regular person probably wouldn’t consider someone whose name they don’t know their friend. That doesn’t change anything for Seungmin though. The members mean a lot to him, real names or not.

“During the attack, a member of the DIT was injured. According to the officials, the injury is only minor.”

The words make Seungmin freeze up. He hadn’t noticed when the news had moved on to the recent Stray Kids attack. “Uhm,” he stammers, trying to regain his composure. Damnit, he had managed to avoid seeing news about their missions in the presence of his family for so long. Why did exactly this mission have to break the streak? “Leftovers are in the fridge?” Finally, an idea.

“Yes,” Minseo confirms. “We made sure to leave enough for you.” Her smile is so sweet it hurts Seungmin that it doesn’t feel genuine to him right now. It just stresses him out even more. Thinking that his sister knows what’s going on, where he was or with whom is ridiculous. Minseo has no way of knowing he’s part of Stray Kids and if she did she wouldn’t be sitting here so calmly. But Seungmin can’t help it. When it gets to hiding his identity, he sees the worst everywhere.

“Thanks.” Seungmin turns on his heel and heads into the kitchen. He quickly grabs himself some food for himself and runs upstairs. When he reaches his room, he puts everything down on his desk and lets himself plop down on his chair. Seungmin closes his eyes and gathers himself. He’s alone. He’s safe. Nobody knows he’s DaN. Everything is fine. There’s nothing to worry about.

If only it was really that easy.

[-]

“Damn, I thought I was early,” Yeonjun notes while dropping his bag in front of the lockers. He isn’t entirely wrong. Despite going grocery shopping for lack of a better alternative, Hyunjin ended up coming in a lot earlier than needed. The emptiness of the bar was just too appealing to pass up on. This must be the first time he’s been here before Yeonjun; of course that wouldn’t go unnoticed.

“Ah yeah, my plans for the evening got cancelled so I thought I’d come in a little earlier, clean the counter and all.” Hyunjin is aware of how ridiculous his explanation sounds. Who the hell goes to work when they have free time? As expected, Yeonjun doesn’t seem convinced. Not one bit.

“Sure, because what else would you do when you have some time to spare?” Despite his words, Yeonjun doesn’t push it, instead starting to change into his uniform. Hyunjin turns his head away to give Yeonjun some privacy. Well, as much privacy as one can have while changing in a cramped room with another person in it. “Did you already refill the straws and napkins?”

“Yup.” Hyunjin nods even though Yeonjun probably isn’t looking at him. “Everything done.”

“Great, thanks.” Yeonjun walks over to the mirror, fixes a few strands of his auburn dyed hair before turning towards Hyunjin. “Since we have some time left before costumers come and we have no other job to kill time with, are you going to tell me what you’re running away from?” That much on not pushing it. Of course Yeonjun wouldn’t just let it slide.

“I had a fight with my sister,” Hyunjin lies, despite feeling horrible about telling more lies. The fact that he has gotten so used to this makes it even worse. He just comes up with stuff like this on the spot and is able to keep a straight face like it’s nothing. Admittedly, he isn’t always convincing. That’s only a matter of time though. Hyunjin knows he should be grateful for that ability, but he hates it. “I forgot to do the laundry and things kind of… escalated.” At this point, getting to be honest about things that aren’t related to Stray Kids in any way has become a relief. Something as simple as being allowed to mention Yeji already makes things feel a little easier. More normal. It’s so trivial, but Hyunjin enjoys still getting to speak some truth about himself.

Yeonjun nods despite the fact that he doesn’t really seem to buy it yet again. “And you’re hoping that will solve itself if you go to work?”

“Not exactly, but I needed to get out of our apartment,” Hyunjin explains. At the very least, that part is true. He couldn’t have stayed with the girls a single second longer. “Also, by the time I come home she’s going to be asleep. So we’ll have lots of time to calm down and talk about everything again tomorrow.”

Yeonjun shakes his head at Hyunjin’s reasoning. “If you ask me, you should do that laundry before your sister gets up.”

“Yeah, I’ll try.”

Yeonjun changes the rest of the way in silence. When he’s done, they walk over into the main room. It’s still too early for costumers and since Hyunjin already prepared everything there’s not really anything to do. Thankfully the topic of his alleged fight with Yeji stayed in the locker room. Hyunjin really would not have wanted to try and justify this stupid laundry story any longer. Their chatter now is kind of boring, but Hyunjin definitely prefers that over lies and excuses. For lack of a better way to pass their time, he and Yeonjun start examining the bottles on their work surface, checking which of them are close to empty and will have to be replaced soon. The downside of being busy with the bottles is that their conversation dies down, which leaves Hyunjin way too alone with the negative thoughts and memories of the party.

“Hyunjin-oppa! Finally!” Chaeryoung’s voice has never sounded this troubled, at least Hyunjin has never heard her like this. Of course three missed calls and urgent sounding messages weren’t going to be a good sign, but the panic in her voice seems more extreme than Hyunjin expected.

“What’s going on? What happened?” Every rapid heartbeat made Hyunjin even more nervous. Chaeryoung wouldn’t call him like this if it wasn’t serious. She never calls him. She barely even messages him. And since she apparently insisted on calling him specifically, there was only one possible reason. “Is something wrong with Yeji?”

“Yes she-” Chaeryoung gulped as though it was hard for her to speak. Hyunjin couldn’t take the wait, the moment felt like an eternity. “We’re in the hospital. The Red Cross Hospital. Please come here as soon as you can.” Hospital. Yeji was in hospital. Fuck. Hyunjin couldn’t stop the memories from crashing down on him: following the nurse through the hallways, knocking at the big dark door, walking into the sterile room. The images felt like dozens of bricks pressing down on Hyunjin’s chest. He could barely breathe.

“I’m on my way.” His voice sounded choked up, but Hyunjin couldn’t care less. He needed to see Yeji, see if she was fine. Even if it meant going to a hospital. What could have possibly happened? Part of Hyunjin wished that he had asked more questions, but Chaeryoung hadn’t sounded like she was in the right condition for lengthy explanations. Maybe there wasn’t time either. Fuck, Hyunjin needed to hurry.

The ride was hell to say the least. Hyunjin couldn’t stop himself from being nervous and fidgety. It didn’t help one bit that he had just come home from a mission that was now flickering across the screens in the subway. A weird feeling started spreading through Hyunjin when the news lady started talking about civilians getting hurt. That simply wasn’t possible. There were hardly any people around when they attacked, and the DIT was supposed to keep civilians away, so how would any of them get close enough to get injured? It was probably a lie, propaganda against them. That had to be it.

Getting out of the subway and that damned news report made Hyunjin feel a bit better, but only momentarily. Every step towards his destination made his heart race even faster and chest feel even tighter. Hyunjin hated hospitals. A hospital was the last place he wanted to be at, but there was no way around it. He would have to get his act together. For Yeji.

Hyunjin let himself be led into the waiting room by one of the nurses at the front desk, freezing when he saw Yeji’s friends. The girls looked like they had rolled around on the ground of a construction side. Their hair and clothing were covered in dust. Taking a closer look, Hyunjin noticed their reddened eyes, as though they had been crying. He also spotted several band aids on them and other, smaller cuts that weren’t covered. Ryujin had a bandage around her head. Hyunjin guessed all the adults around the girls were their respective parents. He scanned every face in the room, but Yeji wasn’t here. Oh god.

“Oppa!” Chaeryoung got up and jogged towards him. She talked louder than usual; normally her voice was rather quiet. Hyunjin only now realised it wasn’t just panicked, it was almost like she had headphones on and was trying to talk over music.

“What happened?” Sobbing caught Hyunjin’s attention, making him look up to find Yuna crying into her mother’s shoulder. “Where’s Yeji?”

“Stray Kids, they- they attacked the department of education.” No. No that couldn’t be the reason. They were careful. They were always careful. Yeji and her friends weren’t even inside the building; there’s no way they were hit by the explosion. It just couldn’t be. But the evidence was all around Hyunjin. “We were on our way to run some errands when everything blew up behind us-”

“What about Yeji? Is she okay?” Hyunjin could hear the panic in his own voice by now. He just had to know Yeji was okay already.

“I have no idea,” Chaeryoung admitted. Tears started to flood her eyes once again. She couldn’t seem to look up at Hyunjin any longer. “They’re still operating on her.”

“Costumers.”

“What?” Hyunjin’s head snapped up. Gone are the white walls and blindingly bright lights. The room is dark grey, the light subdued. This isn’t a hospital. Thank god. It takes a while until Hyunjin is able to focus on Yeonjun in front of him. “What did you say?”

Yeonjun doesn’t get to answer since he’s already taking some guy’s order. Still feeling a bit fuzzy, Hyunjin checks his watch. 8.03. They’re actually open by now. He must have zoned out for quite a while. As soon as the costumer is sent off with his drinks, Yeonjun turns towards Hyunjin again. “Had a nice time in dreamland?”

“Not really,” Hyunjin admits. The memory is still heavy like chains around his heart. He really tries his best not to remember that day, but sometimes it all just comes crashing onto him. Tonight is going to be anything but pleasant, Hyunjin already knows that. He never sleeps well on days like this, no matter how tired he is after his shift.

Yeonjun steps closer, speaking in a low voice. “Is this still about your sister?”

“Yeah.” Hyunjin takes a look around, making sure the two only costumers they have are far enough away. “I feel so bad for what happened. I should have just done the laundry and not started a fight about it.” Yes, very convincing. He got overwhelmed by the traumatic experience of fighting over household chores.

“Agreed.” Yeonjun smiles and pats Hyunjin’s back. “Hey, I’m sure if you apologise and do the laundry everything will be fine.”

“I guess you’re right…”

“Of course I am,” Yeonjun sounds almost offended Hyunjin would ever assume anything else. “That’s why you listen to your elders.”

Hyunjin rolls his eyes. “You say it as though you’re some 106 year old wise guy of the town. You’re one year older than me.”

“One year can make a lot of difference.” Yeonjun wags his finger in Hyunjin’s face. “Talk to me again in one year and see how much has changed.” Hyunjin tries to think of a comeback, but before his brain can provide him with anything another group of costumers walks in. Yeonjun winks at Hyunjin before going back to the counter and accepting the first order. Sighing, Hyunjin straightens his back, puts his costumer service smile on and starts helping Yeonjun prepare the drinks.

[-]

They’re really getting training now. Somehow just the thought lets a smile bloom on Kwangsun’s face. After all, none of the higher-ups would have agreed on sending them off to missions if they didn’t trust him and Chan, right? Okay, maybe trust is too strong of a word for that, but it’s definitely a good sign. In their situation every little step forward should be celebrated. Especially steps like this.

Kwangsun has a slight skip in his step as he walks into the kitchen, starting to look for stuff he can use to cook dinner for them. Though since they haven’t been grocery shopping in a while, there’s not really a lot to work with. They only have rice and noodles to be precise. Yup, plain rice would make a great celebration meal. Maybe Kwangsun should go grocery shopping? It’s not that late yet, he could go buy more ingredients to cook some proper meal for them. Kimchi jjigae would be awesome. If he’s already out and about, he should buy more than just the ingredients though. Some snacks wouldn’t hurt either. And they’re short on tissues and apple juice. Is there anything else? Kwangsun feels like he’s forgetting something. Don’t they need more shampoo too? Or is it soap? The answer feels within his reach but Kwangsun can’t quite grasp it.

“Chan-ah?” he calls, already leaving the kitchen. There’s no way both of them forgot, right? Plus, Chan might have wishes of his own, which Kwangsun would be happy to fulfil if Chan just replied. Still starved for a reply, Kwangsun walks down the hallway and opens the door to Chan’s room. “I’m going gro-”

Kwangsun freezes in the door frame, completely still. He forgot to knock, which was a mistake. Chan specifically requested it when they moved in. How did he not remember something that simple? Just having come out of the shower, Chan is still shirtless. That by itself really wouldn’t be a big deal if it wasn’t for the long, faint pink lines raking over Chan’s back. Most of them crisscross over his spine at the height of his ribcage, but some extend to his shoulders as well as lower back.

Chan’s entire back is covered in scars.

It only now dawns upon Kwangsun that he’s never seen Chan without a shirt, not even when in the practice room today. How did Chan even manage to change that quickly? And how come Kwangsun hadn’t realized how much Chan must have hurried to hide this? Or questioned how urgently Chan had insisted that Kwangsun knocks whenever he enters his room?

“What the fucking hell are you doing here?!” The aggression in Chan’s voice is so foreign. He’s never sounded like this, not during missions or while discussing plans or anything. Kwangsun’s heart drops to his knees. Chan is scary right now. His jaw is set and his face pulled into a scowl. His gaze has an intensity that has Kwangsun’s throat go dry. This is bad, this is really bad. Chan stumbles backwards and presses himself against his closet while trying to cover himself with the shirt in his hands. The mixture of anger and horror on Chan’s face makes Kwangsun feel like a monster, as though he murdered Chan’s family right in front of his very eyes.

“I’m sorry, I-” Kwangsun can’t seem to form proper words. He honestly has no idea what he would even say except apologising for barging into Chan’s room like that. Though he feels like an apology won’t cut it.

“Get out!” Chan screams, losing his patience. Kwangsun has never heard Chan yell before. “Get the hell out! Leave me alone!” He comes closer as though he’s planning to personally drag Kwangsun out of the room. Kwangsun nods hastily and rushes outside as quickly as possible. His heart is racing like crazy when the door slams shut behind him. The abstract painting on the wall next to Kwangsun trembles with the force of it.

“And fucking knock next time!”

[dearly-somber]

I’m Yours | k.yh | day6

-> pairing. non-idol!younghyun x female reader

-> genre. fluff, s2l (strangers-to-lovers), university!au, pining

-> rating. 13+

-> w/c. 886

-> warnings. none!

-> a/n. I’m you-o-o-o-ours

-> collection. songfic

-> started. ???

-> fin. Oct. 18th, 2020 @ 20:23

-> edited. Fri., Jul. 14th, 2023 @ 23:45

Light summer breeze. Petals falling down in the most satisfying way, pooling at your feet as you walk to the beat of your heart, holding the handle of your umbrella tight enough to whiten your knuckles.

The crickets were out now that the darkness had fallen, a slight drizzle of rain warming your blood. You were wearing an oversized sweater and some shorts that were hidden underneath the fabric you wore on your upper half, a pair of old sneakers to match.

You had decided to take a late night walk, eyes red and puffy from too much crying. You had been having some boy trouble and had been embarrassed in front of probably your whole university, so crying was the only way to make you feel less shitty, and no one could tell you otherwise. You had been walking for a few minutes and stopped by your favorite café near Han River, going to stand over the bridge running over the river after ordering yourself some coffee. You were sniffing the air with closed eyes when you suddenly opened them to what you had assumed was an angel, before you realized that he didn't have wings.

He was wearing a creamy beige turtle neck sweater and jeans with ankle high boots, his black hair falling very gently into his face and accentuating his jawline as he watched the water as if it was the most interesting thing on earth. He had a see-through umbrella over his shoulder, the fairy lights that were attached to it only making him look that much more angelic, if it were possible.

You continued shamelessly staring at the gorgeous stranger, eventually wandering over and standing next to him.

"Penny for your thoughts, stranger?" you asked in a light voice, a warm smile adorning your face.

The angel turned to look at you slowly, eyes jumping around questioningly, as if to ask "Who? Me?"

You immediately decide that this angel was cute and that you wanted to keep him, your smile getting wider. Just a few hours ago you had embarrassed yourself in front of everyone you knew while talking to a boy that you liked, yet here you were making it seem effortless.

"Do I know you?" He asked in the most honey like voice you had ever heard, the sound strangely addictive. Still smiling, you shook your head with a shrug.

"Not at all." You giggled childishly at the way his brow furrowed in confusion, at his mercy, completely helpless to his charms. "I just noticed the way you were staring at the water and you look like you're thinking very deeply about something," you explained, heart jumping into his hands when he laughed in disbelief, tilting his head at you with a smile.

"Is that so?"

You nodded, your cheeks starting to ache from smiling too much.

"Why don't I tell you over a cup of coffee, since we're at a café?" he asked cheekily, a grin pulling at his lips.

You nodded eagerly, taking his hand and pulling him over to the seating area. You turned to look at him with a grin of your own before saying, "Great idea! I've already ordered."

---

After sitting down he introduced himself as Kang Younghyun, occasionally called Brian by his close friends, who was majoring in Business at your university with Music as his extra classes. You told him your name, telling him that you’re majoring in Writing, hoping to become an editor (since you weirdly enough enjoy editing), and that you were taking art and music as extra classes.

"So then, Younghyun, you sill haven't answered my first question," you said matter-of-factly, sipping at your latte with a raised brow.

"Oh, that? I thought that was you flirting?" he mused with a smirk, the teasing tone in his voice making you chortle.

"Oh no it was, but I'm genuinely curious," you said, chortling at the way he laughed disbelievingly.

"I was thinking about how I need to man up and ask this girl I like in my music class out." he said, shrugging as he sighed deeply.

"Oh, you like someone?" you asked dejectedly, playing with your coffee cup. Brian nodded, sighing again.

"Well then," you said, slamming your fist against the table and gaining not only Younghyun's attention but a few people around you's attention as well.

"I say, go for it! I doubt you have anything to lose," you encouraged him confidently. He raised a brow with a smirk, looking at you as if to say "excuse me what?"

You rolled your eyes before starting to explain.

"Listen, Brian—can I call you Brian?"

"Go ahead." He smiled.

"Right then, Brian, listen. You seriously have nothing to lose. Maybe a smudge of pride but that's nothing. I mean have you seen yourself? I'm sure every girl would be willing to throw themselves at you, hell, sign me up!" you rambled on, hands all over the place and not realizing the way Younghyun was looking at you.

"You really think so?" he asked softly, making you think of a puppy, your heart melting.

You nodded solemnly, smiling at him.

"Definitely."

With the most shit eating grin ever, he cleared his throat. "Okay, then. Y/N, I really like you and would like to take you to dinner."

“Oh, shit.”

[erreversible]

pairing: youngpil (young k/wonpil) rating: (no rating for now) tags: idolverse, mind reading au, slow burn

summary:

Younghyun can read minds, but it doesn’t make anything easier.

excerpt:

“Hyung?”

Something dark and heavy lifts off Younghyun’s face and he sucks in a lungful of fresh air, squinting against the sudden brightness.

Wonpil’s frowning face fills his vision. “Are you okay? Did you really sleep through all that noise?”

“Wha…?”

“Your alarms.” Wonpil straightens. It occurs to Younghyun that he’s currently horizontal in bed and that Wonpil had just very kindly pulled a pillow off his face. “They kept ringing.”

Shit. Younghyun jerks upright, regretting it when he’s hit with vertigo. Before he can topple over and brain himself, Wonpil is there, steadying him by the shoulders.

“Am I late?” Younghyun asks desperately, clutching his spinning head.

“No, you’re fine. We leave for rehearsal in an hour.” A hand, cool and soothing, comes to rest on the back of his neck. “That’s not the problem… You’re totally burning up.” Another presses against his forehead. Younghyun sighs in relief, his own hands falling limp into his lap. That feels amazing. He hadn’t realized how hot he was until now.

“Am I?”

[yongwaifu09]

Check it out

[unmanageable-day]

Days gone by - MASTERLIST

summary. after a typical break-up, your cousin tried to set you up with his friend who happened to just broke up recently as well. after months, you knew it wouldn’t end well and the universe agreed, as suddenly he went m.i.a and it was easier for you to live being free and single. until one day he texted you again…

genre. social media!AU, fake dating!AU / angsty (still trying to find spots to add some fluff)

pairing. DAY6 Young K (Kang Younghyun) x female reader

status. on-going

Chapters.

1) is it a yes?

2) i have her

3) not a one-time

4) is this even right?

5) everything's good

...

[just-some-random-blogger]

So... Haha... I Like You...

DAY6 Park Jaehyung x Reader Summary: Jae was that nice guy that owed you big time; you didn't mean to catch feelings for him. Word Count: 2k+ Warnings: Fake Boyfriend AU, College AU, lying, cheating, pining, fluff, angst, etc.

A/N: sooooooooo this happened and then I made this edit and now i just have to write gosh i love jae so much. THE EDIT IS MINE AND SORRY ABOUT THE TYPOS I HAVE AMMSKSKSKM

I had exactly 28 polaroid pictures of him.

Twenty eight.

20 + 8

I mean to take five pictures of him, and yet things got so out of hand.

I really, really didn't mean to...

And you're probably rolling your eyes, because how in the world could I say this? How in the world was I planning to get out of this alive?

"Your socks are down again," a voice jolts me out of my running locomotive thoughts. My shoulders jolt suddenly at the readmission to reality. I tilt my head up and find Jae, giving me a blank look as a candy stick sticks out of the corner of his mouth. His lips are unnaturally red because of this strongly strawberry scented lolly, and though he does nothing but look at me, I feel my pulse in my chest and my palms begin to sweat.

I turn down to my feet and find my left leg has a loose sock unlatched on my calf, sitting by my ankles. I bend down quickly and pull it up.

He clicks his tongue, "we could go sock shopping today. If you're still to stingy to buy those socks you wanted, I'll buy them for you because I feel physical pain when I see your ugly bacon socks that can't even do one job."

My eyes flick back up to his face. Jae's stupidly adorable face that I shouldn't think is remotely cute, come on!

I part my lips and begin to think of something to say-- something like he was a stupid boy for making his lips sugary and shiny like that.

I suppose I give a disgruntled look because he furrows his brows and makes my heart race faster.

"You good, sweetie?" he says purely out of mastery, and not because he thinks I'm his sweetie.

I pull a sour face and gulp roughly. I look away and ruffle my hair, "shut up, we're going to be late."

This crowded hallways was the perfect place to lose this hiccup.

I slam my locker door and clench my binder on hand. I pull on my backpack string and storm off into the crowd.

Jae doesn't get it and stands there with a incredulous and confused face. He pulls out the lollipop from his mouth and guesses it's probably the distance the other has in hardened sugar again. He chucks it into a can and calls, "wait up!"

Jae is too quick, and too damn long-legged, my gosh. He is also a slinky skinny boy and goes through the crowd and gets to me no biggie. A lil out of breath but no biggie.

He releases a sigh and catches my gaze.

"I threw the lollipop away," he says, as if it solved the theory of time travel and takes my hand.

My beating pulse is in my clammy hand, and this moron takes it into his large one. He does it because it's what he's been doing for me. He thinks absolutely nothing of it, but right now in this moment, it hits hard. It brings calamity to my mind, and I can't decide if I am more giddy that he is holding my hand or hurt because he can do it because it's nothing.

He looks around, off to his side to dodge people. Jae again thinks nothing of his actions as he tightens his grip and leads me off to our next subject.

This damned subject is the reason for this all. Had he not had a hard time in his homework, had he not slipped out of the passing rate so bad, had physics not been the bane of his existence, then maybe I wouldn't have had to tutor him, maybe he wouldn't have been so desperate to ask the "smartest kid in class" for tutoring lessons, and maybe he wouldn't have even talked to me that day I had the crummiest time of my life.

And sure, I guess maybe had that not happened, I would still be a train wreck too preoccupied in my jerk ex Younghyun.

Maybe I wouldn't have found someone else to vent to about my stupid, trivial, fickle, cliché sob story.

But ultimately, I guess it's all his fault!

Had that stupid brat not hooked up with my best friend- ex stupid best friend,

then--

Jae tugs me close as me go through a thick crowd of people. His grip on my hand is tight and firm, but it isn't strangling, it doesn't hurt. It feels secure. It feels... safe.

I look at our joined hands.

... I don't really wish to be stuck with friends and boyfriends who'd think of doing that.

Jae makes a panicked sound, "gAh! I saw mister Kim walk towards our classroom!"

He and I begin to make it through and down the left hallway. His long legs cut back to keep in pace with me as we jog up to our room. We both release a breath, and Jae finally lets go of me to open the door. My hand feels cold.

I don't know why he has to smile when he opens the door for me. I give him no reaction and immediately tread off to hide from his hot eyes.

I don't particularly know where my feet are taking me, but apparently it's to the wrong side of the room because Jae pulls me back by my backpack, causing me to crash into his chest.

I grunt and feel heat trickle up my neck and ears. He isn't looking at me when I look up at him. Jae airily says, "not there," and straightens me up.

My face burns when he shoves me under his arm. My nose is intoxicated by his stupid candy scent and cologne. My stomach begins to dance like a washing machine.

Because of my preoccupation to my own bodily reactions, if goes unbeknownst to me where exactly Jae is looking, or glaring exactly.

I do notice his jaw clench, but I do not know it's because of the putrid sight he sees.

Younghyun watches a few rows away. Jae and he give each other looks. The later clenches his jaw and tries to make eye contact another. Jae is too protective and keeps everything under his arm. He makes sure to show full distaste and turns to give what he's protecting a kiss.

A kiss.

I said he kissed my head.

I turn to him and feel like a tomato. Jae smiles at me and leads me to the other corner of the room.

I can't do this.

Mr. Kim does his lesson.

He talks about theorems and angles.

He removes his coat halfway because he was getting into his discussion.

And even though all I could to is watch, or barely look at the professor in front of the class, blabbering on and on about equations, I was unable to actually listen or register any information, because, dammit, Jae was looking at me.

He had his right cheek in his hand, and his elbow on his desk and he was looking at me.

It was not intense.

It was bored.

He kept pointlessly bothering me, as in he found it boring to even annoy me.

But I was cut into a statue because of it.

All I knew was Mr. Kim was opening and closing his mouth, and Jae had his hands extremely near my face as he fiddled with the tips of my hair.

"I'm hungry," he mutters.

"Go eat something then," I reply, too snippy, too fast.

He takes a moment to reply and I make the grave mistake of thinking that I've upset him. He is fine. Jae is simply looking at the hair he was fiddling with as he thought of an answer.

The moment we made eye contact and I felt my stomach drop, I knew.

I couldn't do any of this anymore.

"I kinda want a burger and some fries."

I turn away from him and reply, "then go get some."

He drops my hair and props both of his elbows on the desk, bored, "okay."

I turn to the direction opposite to Jae and feel the sunshine through the window telling me to jump out while I can.

I don't.

The bell rings.

Jae takes my hand again once I have all my things tidied up. He takes my binder from me and begins to lead me out of the door. He makes sure I walk in front of him as we do so.

He wraps his arms around me fron behind and rests his chin in my head, "I'm sorry you have to deal with that."

Deal with what?

What is he talking about?!

Does he mean the hair fiddling?

Why would he apologize?

"My offer to break his teeth still stands, you know."

Wait. He's going to break teeth?

Break who's teeth?

Hold on.

Does he mean Younghyun?

"Who else would I be talking about?" he scoffs out from above me.

"pssh, I didn't know the loser was here."

.... and I'm speaking to myself aloud now.

We make it out of our building and the sun is just spotlighting the tree's leaves just right.

Jae's holding my hand again.

I'm dragging my feet.

Why doesn't he mind that I'm basically being such dead weight to him? I look out and see a girl coo at the sight if him.

Jae catches it and smiles because he hears the part were she says they looks so cute.

Suddenly, he remembers.

"Oh hey," Jae stops and pulls out something from his bag. I look at the hand he held as he then hands me something. "I figured since we used up a lot of your films, you'd need some more."

I take the small paper box from him and stare at it like oblivion.

Jae chuckles, "don't need to thank me for being such a good sugar daddy when I took up most of the pictures you have anyway."

My cheeks burn at the fact he called himself a sugar daddy.

It is in my silence and lack of teasing or mocking banter Jae knits his brows. He straightens up and fixes his own bag, "hey are you okay? You've been uncharacteristically meek today."

I release a breath as I turn to my feet.

Jae is really concerned at this point.

I fake a smile and turn to him, "yeah, no, I'm good. Mr. Kim's new discussion really got me."

"... but he did a recap of last week's discussion."

I am caught off guard. I chuckle nervously. I scratch the back of my head and rack my brain for an excuse. I think of nothing and play it off weakly.

Jae straightens up. He is about to speak but I beat him to it, "actually Jae, there's been something bugging me lately."

He knits his brows and crosses his arms seriously.

My breath hitches.

I gulp, "I think we can finally call it even."

There is a moment of silence

Jae blinks and shakes his head slowly. "Uhm, I'm... I'm not following."

I chuckle nervously, "well," I snap my fingers, "as you showed just a while ago, you're actually understanding the physics lessons by yourself now, and, like, Younghyun doesn't contact me at all anymore-- hell I don't even think fo the bastard anymore--" I grumble quickly. I turn from afar back to Jae and feel heavy underneath his gaze.

I give a pinched smile and conclude, "yeah, eh, we don't have to pretend to be girlfriend-boyfriend anymore."

I wait for a response.

A laugh.

A sigh of relief.

Something.

But there is none.

Jae just looks at me, perplexed.

"I'm just thinking," I point to my temple and motion, "I keep playing it in my head that you have to keep putting up with me. And like- and like- you spend money on me that even I don't want to spend on myself, and I don't think it's fair to you."

Jae shifts from where he stands and speaks, "well if that's what you're worried about. Don't. I really don't mind." Ask me why.

I sigh and chew on my bottom lip.

Jae catches on and knows it is a sign of agitation.

"Well, actually there's more."

Am I really going to be saying this?

I clear my throat and go back and forth the palms of my feet, "I actually just think--"

No. I am not going to do it.

"--that we should just go back to how things were."

Jae is mortified with what it could mean.

I catch in and immediately clarify, "I just mean! That... I haven't hung out with my friends in a while. And, like, Dowoon has been looking for me for a long time now..."

False. Dowoon could give a rat's ass about me and would most definitely kill me if he ever finds out I used him as an excuse to get out of a dreaded confrontation about my one-sided, undeserving like to Jae, which according to him is not one-sided at all, which is extremely preposterous as it is.

Jae feels himself deflate, key words: my friends. Wasn't already there a friendship between him and Dowoon?

"I really appreciate everything you've done for me. I'm glad that you don't need me anymore."

Jae wants to scoff at what he just heard, who in the world said that?

"I think it's best for all of us that we get out of each other's hair..." I explain.

I swear I saw a flicker of hurt in his eyes, but it's just my wishful thinking because Jae breaks into a warm chuckle, "well, you are pretty annoying."

"Ha ha," I reply, rubbing my shoulder.

Jae, who felt so good when he woke up, feels like burrowing underground. He pushes the though of it away though, because he sees the genuine smile in front of him. That genuine smile that got him the moment he saw it.

I gave him the most sincere statement I could muster up at this point, "thank you for everything, Jae."

He smiles back, softer, and waves me off, "we're even."

I nod, "even Steven."

He nods.

We stand in an awkward silence.

I realize the box of polaroids he gave me is still in my hand. I turn to it and turn to him.

He beats me to it, "consider it a parting gift."

I look at him and somehow feel hurt, hurt that he's making it as if we don't have physics class together anymore, or literature or home economics.

I pull myself back however and remind myself of the truth.

Dowoon's an idiot and Jae deserves way better that some girl who cried for months about a jerk.

I shake my head and purse my lips, "okay."

There is a breeze cutting in between us, begging us to go our separate ways.

Jae shoves his hands in his pockets and musters up the lamest, "guess I'll eat alone then."

He regrets saying that.

My heart breaks.

He takes a step back, waves off and promptly dissmises me with one last, "bye."

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