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swordandcat · 7 years

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Three’s a Crowd but Nine’s a Party: Chapter 7

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Once upon a time, there was a girl. She was plain, and uninspiring, and came from an uninteresting family. She didn’t have a father, and her mother was always busy with work, leaving the girl to her own devices. Despite her tremendous bad luck, there was nothing that others would find interesting in her. No talents, no intrigue, no engagement. She was left alone.

Isolated, and continually plagued by misfortune, she wondered what made her different from the other girls in school. Why were they happy, and why was she not? Why did their parents pick them up, and why did hers not?

She read a lot. Stories, myths, legends. She eventually came to a startling conclusion: she must not be like most people. Surely, she was treated differently because she herself was different.

In her childish desperation to find meaning out of the emptiness in her life, she filled that emptiness with delusions of grandeur. She believed she was an angel, struck from Heaven and descended to Hell. Her misfortune? A curse from God. Her loneliness? Penance for her existence.

Life moved on swiftly with this new discovery. For a time, it filled her heart. Her own imagination was enough to keep her moving, facing forward.

Then the little girl grew up. And her delusions weren’t as well received as they were in her early childhood. It was harmless at first. Teasing, joking, light ribbing. Her delusions made her the center of attention. It was almost fulfilling.

Then teasing turned to pranks, escalating in severity. The jokes were no longer harmless, made at the girl’s expense. Things went missing, diligently done work stolen and copied, or defaced. She was cornered during breaks and lunch, pushed around like a rag doll.

For a time, the girl bore it with patience. Her mother was still busy, all the time. She didn’t want to distract her from her work. She didn’t want to cause problems. If staying silent could keep things quiet, then she would be silent.

She thought, perhaps, it would end eventually. But it kept going. And it kept getting worse. Things of real value were taken from her. Jewellery, money. Public humiliation. The girl’s thoughts got darker, and darker, her delusions driving her into a corner. More than once, she contemplated ending it all, embracing sweet release.

But before she was driven to that, a light shone upon her.

She remembered the moment vividly still. It was in the wake of another merciless round of humiliation. The girl was curled up in a corner, out of sight, hoping she would just disappear.

That’s when she appeared.

“Are you okay?” An angel. A real one, not make-believe like the girl. She reached out with a hand of salvation, and for a moment the girl was so shaken she didn’t even know to take it.

“I’m new around here. Can you show me around?”

Like a drowning soul to driftwood, the girl grasped onto the hand, allowing herself to be saved.

Things got better. No longer alone, the girl was at last happy. The angel did not mind her delusions, delighted in them, even. She humoured the girl’s imagination, gladly going along with her daydreams. It was like a dream come true for the girl. She sought validation from her new friend, proof that her life was worth value. She confided in her as well, her fears, her weaknesses, the darkness in her heart. The angel took them in stride, soothing the wounds in the girl’s soul, showering her in love and affection.

They grew close.

Even the bullying stopped. It was like a miracle. Everything was good.

But it was not to last. Her misfortune reared its ugly head. Signs of unrest began to surface.

“Mana.”

The girl sat with the angel, staring out to sea. Their hands were intertwined, a physical manifestation of their connected hearts.

The angel tilted her head, looking at the girl with a gentle smile. “What is it, Yohane?”

“I saw the she-devils talking to you the other day,” the girl said carefully. She looked at the angel. “Were they bothering you?”

The angel shook her head. “I’m fine, Yohane. They just wanted something from me.”

The girl stared into the angel’s eyes, and she trusted her. She nodded, letting the topic go.

But she spotted more things as time went on. The angel was as radiant as ever, but she seemed less lively. Tired. Sometimes when she smiled at the girl, it wouldn’t quite reach her eyes.

Then one day, she was gone. The girl had only known after the fact that she was hospitalized for severe depression and anxiety. The angel had shouldered the girl’s burden, taking the torture that was intended for the girl onto herself. And even one as radiant as the angel could only take so much. She broke, refusing to see anyone, not even the girl.

The others blamed the girl.

The girl blamed herself as well.

She was cursed. To hurt herself. To hurt anyone around her. She shut herself away, putting on a stoic front. Emotionless, and unassailable. As for the delusions that caused this, she locked them away, knowing that it was exactly those that made her and the angel a target. Even if she was nothing without the delusions, even if she was just an empty shell, at least no one would get hurt.

And never again would the girl allow someone to be hurt because of her.

* * * * *

Yoshiko laughed as she finished her story, her voice hollow and bitter.

“So I distanced myself from the world. I’m not going to let it happen again, not to anyone,” She took a deep breath. “Especially not to you.”

“Yoshiko…” Yo’s voice cracked. “I never knew…”

“I’m not… proud of what I did.” Yoshiko looked away. “I relied on her. Too much. I could have— Should have— seen what was happening. But I let my happiness blind me. Because I was too selfish and cowardly to fight my own fights.”

She bit her lip, feeling a wet heat in her eyes. No - don’t cry, not now, goddamn it.

But no matter how hard she fought it, the dark memories dredged up long forgotten emotions, ones she’s tried to lock away for her whole life. Tears rolled unbidden down her cheeks, and she broke down, the mental walls she built up crumbling as she felt, as vividly as ever, the crushing guilt and regret that had haunted her for her entire life.

She turned to the only person she could - Yo, sitting next to her - and clung onto her for dear life, using Yo as an anchor to avoid being washed away by her emotions altogether.

Momentarily caught off guard, Yo quickly regained her composure and put her arms comfortingly around Yoshiko, gently patting her on the back. “It’s okay,” Yo said soothingly. “Let it all out.”

As Yoshiko continued to wail and sob into her shoulder, Yo said quietly, “I’m not going to pretend to understand how you feel. You’ve been through so much more than I have… You’re so much stronger than I am.”

Yoshiko shook her head, somewhat petulantly, like a frustrated child. “I- I’m not… I’m a coward…”

“A coward wouldn’t throw herself under the bus, again and again, just to protect her friends,” Yo said patiently, but firmly. “You’re brave, Yoshiko.”

She looked away briefly, adding under her breath, “Braver than I ever will be.”

Yoshiko didn’t seem to catch that, just continuing to cry, exhausting her bottled up negative emotions in the process. Yo simply allowed her to do so, rocking her gently from side to side and tenderly stroking her along her back. Minutes of this passed, as Yoshiko let out years’ worth of distress and insecurities.

“But you know…” Yo murmured quietly. “You don’t have to bear it alone anymore. You have friends. People who care for you.”

She licked her lips, trying to think of a way to vocalize what she was feeling. “This Mana... she took it all onto herself. Your pain and hers. We don’t have to do that. I’m not going to take responsibility for all of your problems, and I’m not going to ask you to bear all of mine, either. But there are things that we can share. Weights that we can carry together. Aoki, for example. Pressure from our peers. That’s not something that we should shoulder individually. That would break anyone.”

She paused for a moment, seeing if her words were having any effect. Yoshiko seemed to have calmed down a little, though she was still sniffling and hiccupping. “And it’s not just me. There’s Ruby, and Hanamaru. Hell, even Chika and Riko. We’re all in this together. There’s no need for you to be alone, when you’re surrounded by people willing to support you.”

Yoshiko took a shuddering breath, and pulled back a little so Yo could see her weak smile. “Thank you,” she said hoarsely, wiping the trickle of tears off her cheeks.

“It’s the least I can do,” Yo said. “Given how I’ve… not been the best to you recently.”

Yoshiko shook her head, but Yo put a hand up to silence her objections for the moment. “Just… as I’ve said. I’ve kept you hanging ever since we had the talk. I haven’t really done anything to move forward either, so…”

She took a deep breath, and with newfound determination she stared into Yoshiko’s eyes. “I’m going to confess to Chika. She’s going to turn me down properly. Completely break my heart. Then I can move on and give you the attention you deserve. I can finally be the girlfriend that you’ve waited so long for.”

Yoshiko’s eyes teared up again, but this time not from her repressed memories, but from long overdue joy. Smiling tearily, she cleared her throat and leaned in close, her breath tickling Yo’s face. It was obvious what she was aiming for, but she still paused with an inch between them, and asked breathily, “Can I?”

Rather than answering, Yo leaned forward and closed the distance between them, pressing their lips together. It was clumsy and impromptu, and Yo felt like it would have been much better under more romantic circumstances, but it was still a magical experience. The last time they kissed was when Chika broke Yo’s heart by going out with Riko. Yoshiko had kissed her to prove a point.

This time, they wanted it. Both of them. It was like a spark passed between them, drawing them close, a magnetic force binding them together and urging them to push for more and more. Needy hands wandered each other’s bodies, pulling them close, tangling in hair and sneaking under clothes. They were breathless, but energized; emotionally exhausted yet jubilant.

Yoshiko was smiling from ear to ear, and Yo had a lopsided grin on her face. Both were breathing heavily, and being so close together they could feel the rise and fall of each other’s chests, and their beating hearts beneath. “That escalated quickly,” Yoshiko murmured breathlessly.

“It could escalate more,” Yo blurted out, not even sure if she was ready for what that implied but still desperately wanting more.

Yoshiko’s cheeks, already flushed, grew a darker shade of red. But instead of going further, she pushed gently against Yo and cleared her that. “That’s very tempting,” Yoshiko said, shyly tracing a pattern onto the bed sheets. “But you’ve given me a lot to think about.”

She licked her lips nervously. “I’m… not sure if I’m ready for it.”

Yo breathed in, clearing her head of the manic desire that had temporarily overtaken her in the moment of exhilaration. “Right. No, you’re right, of course. I just— I got caught up in the moment.”

Yoshiko nodded, understanding what Yo meant completely. She’d been waiting for this moment for so long. Ever since that first kiss. Yoshiko felt like she was getting drunk off of the affection Yo was showering her with.

But now that they were this close, old fears flared up again. It would be so easy for either of them to get hurt. One misstep and everything could have been for nothing.

For however much Yoshiko craved intimacy, she was just as afraid of actually getting it.

“I need to get used to… thinking about myself,” Yoshiko said quietly. “And what you said as well. It’ll take a long time for me to get back to being normal.”

“You don’t have to be ‘normal’, Yoshiko. You’re you,” Yo said.

Yoshiko shook her head. “You’ve been helping me see my flaws since the first time we’ve met. I didn’t learn my lesson the first time around. I… want to be normal. I want to be better.”

“Until I am, I don’t know if I will ever be ready.” Yoshiko looked down. “I’m sorry if you wanted more.”

Yo shook her head. “It’s only fair that it’s my turn to wait. Besides, I have my own problems to sort out. I… don’t know if I’m ready either.”

Sitting a little straighter, she took both of Yoshiko’s hands into her own. “But we can work through them together. Your change. My problems.”

“Together,” Yoshiko breathed, looking down and smiling. “This sounds ridiculous and cheesy and dumb, you know that?”

“Yes, but,” Yo leaned forward, pecking Yoshiko on the lips. “I’m cheesy, and ridiculous, and dumb. You’ll have to get used to it.”

Yoshiko rolled her eyes, giggling with uncharacteristic glee. “Thanks, Yo. Today just went from the worst to the best.”

“You’d think seeing Aoki get punched would make it best by default,” Yo smirked.

Yoshiko considered that for a moment. “Even bester,” She decided, flashing Yo a wonderfully wide smile. But then she thought a little more, and her expression grew a little more serious.

“But just to be completely realistic, I’m a lot to handle.” Yoshiko began, “I’m not very good at talking. I can be temperamental.”

“That’s okay,” Yo said softly. “No one’s perfect.”

“Are you really okay with someone like me?” Yoshiko asked, her voice small.

“That’s a silly question,” Yo said. “I’m okay because you’re the way you are.”

* * * * *

In the end, Yoshiko had ended up staying the night. Her mom was fine with it, and Yo’s mother seemed all for it as well. At first Yo’s mom was concerned about Yo’s suspension, but after a quick defense from Yoshiko, she even offered to talk to the school to lift the punishment.

They went to bed early that night, the events of the day taking their toll on their exhaustion. They slept together, cuddled up under the sheets. Yoshiko fell asleep quickly, all the crying having tired her out completely, but Yo stayed awake for a while, content to just hold Yoshiko and enjoy her presence, though she eventually drifted off to sleep as well.

In the morning, Yoshiko woke up in a tangle of limbs next to Yo. For a moment she panicked, wondering why she was in bed with Yo, until she remembered what had transpired yesterday.

She lay there, for a moment overcome with conflicting emotions.

She couldn’t believe that this was actually happening. Despite all of her missteps, despite her messing up again and again and misinterpreting what to do, Yo was still willing to accept her. Even after hearing her story, knowing what she’s done to Mana, she didn’t turn her back on Yoshiko.

She pinched herself, to make sure she hadn’t just retreated so far into her mind that she was hallucinating.

No, this was real.

She had to resist the urge to squeal out loud. All this time, she had fully expected Yo to change her mind and decide she didn’t like Yoshiko all along. But she didn’t.

It sucked that her laptop was broken, sure, but that hardly put a dent in Yoshiko’s newfound happiness. Despite being terrified to death that she’d let Yo down again, messing up somehow and ruining their relationship, Yoshiko was feeling optimistic for the first time in weeks.

She carefully freed at least her upper body, turning to look out of the window. The sky was bright, the sun well up into its daily arc. Yo was suspended, and she herself was given time off due to the circumstances, so neither of them was required to go to class.

The clock read about 9AM. She didn’t want to wake Yo, but it was necessary to free her legs from beneath the girl. She pushed Yo gently, shaking her by the shoulders. Yo mumbled something incoherent, and opened her eyes blearily.

“I had the weirdest dream that we actually managed to kiss,” she said, still only half-awake.

“We did manage to kiss,” Yoshiko informed her.

“Oh.” Yo said, taking a moment to absorb that information. “Cool.”

Her cheeks turned red, but she took the news in stride as she glanced at Yoshiko, “Does that mean we’re dating now? I don’t think we established that.”

“Well, everyone at school thinks we are now,” Yoshiko shrugged, feigning disinterest. “Might as well, right?”

“I feel like that’s a really arbitrary way of deciding if we’re dating or not,” Yo said, but nevertheless she smiled and snuggled closer to Yoshiko. “I mean, not that I mind.”

Yoshiko’s cheeks flushed, a warm fuzzy sensation spreading throughout her body just at Yo’s proximity.

It was strange.

In spite of everything, all of her worries and her doubts about whether or not this was the right course of action, and wondering if Yo would get hurt because of her... now that Yoshiko was actually there, with Yo right beside her, those concerns seemed utterly insignificant.

She still felt them, just as acutely as ever, but being with Yo just seemed… right.

The last time she felt like this, she was with Mana.

Yoshiko shook her head as doubt crept back at the recollection of her. It was going to be different this time.

“Hey,” She spoke up abruptly, trying to distract herself. “Do you have plans for today?”

“Well, I want to talk to Riko later,” Yo said. “About… y’know. I don’t want her to think I’m actually trying to take Chika away.”

“It’s not like you could. From what little I’ve seen those two are stupid in love…” Yoshiko mused.

She wondered if things could have gone better between her and Yo if they had just been more honest with each other, like Chika and Riko seemed to be.

“It almost makes you jealous, doesn’t it?” Yo said, causing Yoshiko to look up in surprise. Was Yo thinking the same thing as her?

“They seem so… functional,” Yo tilted her head, smiling self-deprecatingly. “I wonder how they do it.”

“I’m sure we could be functional too, given time,” Yoshiko said quietly.

“You think so?” Yo looked down at her hands. “It took me this long to be able to come to terms with my own feelings.”

“One can hope, anyway,” Yoshiko mumbled, before she sat up, and got off the bed, stretching languidly. “Can we get breakfast now? I’m hungry.”

Yo smiled, and nodded. “Yeah, sure. Let’s look at what we’ve got downstairs.”

* * * * *

Riko sighed. Despite by and large being quite good at studying, she found herself unable to focus on the lesson, the teacher’s rambling about the Edo period going way over her head. She spun the pen in her hand, clicked it twice, spun it again.

“Riko,”

She sighed again, and looked out of the window. Yo didn’t come to school. She heard the news about her being suspended, but it was still a bit of a shock to come to school and find her desk empty.

“Riko—”

She picked up the pen, and doodled a treble clef onto the corner of her notebook. She felt bad for Yo. She was just standing up for the girl she liked, she shouldn’t be punished for that. Sure, she punched someone, but it was righteous self-defense, right?

“Riko!”

Chika jabbed Riko right between the shoulder blades, causing her to squeak out in surprise. “Whuh- What?” She looked around. The whole class was looking at her. Riko whimpered, her cheeks turning bright red.

“Ms. Sakurauchi… please pay attention in class,” her teacher said, mildly annoyed. “Now, can anyone tell me when the Edo period was officially ended…”

Riko breathed out, slumping forward slightly and trying not to draw any more attention to herself.

“Hey, Riko,” Chika whispered, leaning forward. "What’s up? It’s not like you to get so easily distracted.”

“It’s nothing… just worried about Yo.”

Riko breathed out. “The rumour that she and Tsushima are dating has spread. Not all of it is good, too. I heard some girls saying that she’s picked Tsushima just to make herself look better.”

“We know that’s not true, though,” Chika said. “Isn’t that the important thing? Yo’s not the kind of person who would mind, either.”

“But still,” Riko murmured. “It feels like we should do something about it.”

Chika shrugged, and turned to focus back onto the lesson. “I’ve tried before. People will say what they want to say,” She said. “We should wait until she gets back before trying anything.”

Disappointed, but acknowledging Chika’s point, Riko sighed and focused back on the lesson as well.

Eventually the bell for the end of school rang, and Riko breathed a sigh of relief as she stretched her arms out after a long day of taking notes.

“Hey~” Chika sidled up behind her, draping her arms over Riko’s shoulders and pulling her in a loose hug. “You’re gonna go to the music room again?”

Riko nodded. “I want to submit a composition for an upcoming contest,” she said. “You don’t have to wait for me, I’ll probably be a while.”

Chika pouted, but nodded and gave Riko a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. “We playing tonight?”

“I’ll login if I can,” Riko promised, waving her off as Chika left the classroom.

She sighed, touching a hand to the spot where Chika kissed. A year ago, she couldn’t even imagine being this physically close to someone. Now she couldn’t imagine a life - at least in the near future - without Chika.

As she started to head over to the music room, her phone buzzed.

<Yo>

Hey

Are you busy?

Riko tilted her head at the text.

<Riko>

Not really

Did you need something?

<Yo>

Actually yeah

I kinda want to talk

In person

Its pretty important

Riko raised an eyebrow at the message. It didn’t seem like Yo to arbitrarily exaggerate something, so it probably was important.

<Riko>

Can it wait?

I’m at school right now, but I can meet you somewhere

<Yo>

Uhh

Can I meet you at your place?

I might need to swing by Chika’s afterwards as well anyway

<Riko>

Sure.

I’ll go home and wait for you?

<Yo>

Yeah, okay.

Thanks.

Strange. Even through text, Yo seemed tense. Normally she’d be more casual. Breathing out somewhat uneasily, Riko put away her sheet music - she could compose another day - and prepared to head home.

* * * * *

Yo fiddled with the hem of her shirt nervously as she and Yoshiko stood outside Riko’s house.

“What if she hates me?” Yo said suddenly.

Yoshiko shook her head, holding Yo’s hand. “You’ll be fine,” she said consolingly. “Riko won’t hate you.”

“What if she hates me and she tells Chika and Chika never talks to me again?”

“Yo.” Yoshiko stared flatly at her. Yo stared back, and sighed after a few moments.

“…Right, you’re right. I’m just being dumb,” Yo said meekly.

“I thought I’m supposed to be the pessimist,” Yoshiko said jokingly. She sighed, and squeezed Yo’s hand. “Look. If you’re not ready for this, you don’t have to do this.”

“No, I do.” Yo said, her voice firm despite her nervousness. “I… I need this. For closure, if nothing else.”

“Just say what you need to say,” Yoshiko said. “You said we’ll start sharing burdens. I’ll be there to support you.”

“Yoshiko…” Yo smiled, and took a deep breath. “Okay. Here goes.”

She stepped forward, and pressed the doorbell. A few nerve-wracking moments later, the door opened, with Riko standing behind it in the doorway.

“Hey, Yo,” Riko said, smiling at Yo, then noticing Yoshiko and nodding at her as well. Her gaze did wander over their held hands, but she didn’t comment on it. “Yoshiko.”

“Can we come in?” Yo asked nervously.

“Oh, of course! Would you like to go to my room? It’s a little cramped and messy, but at least Mom won’t walk in on us,” Riko said, leading them inside and upstairs.

In spite of her claims, Riko’s room was neither cramped or messy. Books were neatly shelved away. The bed was tidily done, and the piano was pristine, a protective cover draped delicately over it. Riko gestured towards the bed and seats. “You can sit wherever. Do you want anything to drink? Tea?”

“It’s… fine,” Yo said, sitting down on the edge of Riko’s bed. Yoshiko sat down next to her. “That won’t be necessary.”

“Well, alright,” Riko murmured, sitting down on the piano bench and looking towards Yo. “So, what’s this about having to talk? Is everything alright?”

“Everything is… fine. Nothing is wrong, if that’s what you’re worried about, it’s just…” Yo took a deep breath. “I need to talk to you about… Chika. I want your permission to do something.”

“Chika?” Riko frowned, confused. “Permission to do what?”

“I— well,” Yo cleared her throat. “I’ve… well. For the longest time, I’ve had a… a crush on Chika. Even up until recently, I’ve had lingering feelings for her. Even when you two are together, and happy.”

Riko nodded slowly. She glanced at Yoshiko, then back at Yo, gesturing for her to continue.

“I don’t— I don’t want you to think I’m trying to take Chika away from you. Because I’m not. I just,” Yo took a deep breath. “I want to give Yoshiko the attention she deserves. And I don’t feel like I can do that if I’m still thinking about Chika, even if just a little bit.”

“I want to confess to Chika. And I want her to reject me. I think that will give me the closure I need to move on,” Yo said. “I wanted you to know that I’m planning to do this.”

Riko’s expression was unreadable for a moment. She breathed out slowly, nodding slightly. “Okay. I… appreciate you telling me this. I might have misunderstood something if you didn’t.”

She glanced out the window for a moment, over the balcony and at Chika’s room. She then turned back to look at Yo, and smiled at her. “I’m not going to get mad, if that’s what you’re worried about. Really, I’m grateful you trust me with this. And… I trust you too. If you think this is something you need to do, then you should do it.”

She chuckled, playing with a strand of her hair bashfully as she continued, “Actually, Chika and I were kind of worried. You seemed a little out of it lately. I’m glad you’re trying to get to a better place. And,” She grinned at both Yo and Yoshiko. “Congratulations on finally getting together. Took you long enough.”

Yo blushed, as did Yoshiko. “Riko!” Yo whined. “You’re supposed to be the nice one. Is Chika infecting you?”

“Well, it’s your fault for taking so long to do it.” Riko shrugged. She stood up, and gave her a small smile. “So, are you going to do it today?”

“As soon as possible,” Yo said, trying hard not to grimace. “It’s going to hurt, but… I’ll be better for it.”

“Then you can do it right here,” Riko said. Walking over to the balcony, she leaned slightly over the edge and shouted, “Chika! Are you there?”

There was the thumping of feet, and Chika threw the window open, leaning out as well. “Riko! I thought you were staying at school?”

“Change in plans,” Riko said. “Hey - guess who’s here with me?”

Chika frowned, tilting her head. “You have a guest?”

“Yup!” Riko turned around, beckoning for Yo to come forward. “Actually, she has something to say to you.”

Yo swallowed, the fluttering in her stomach getting worse by the moment. As though sensing her nervousness, Yoshiko gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “You can do it,” she said quietly.

“…Thanks,” Yo said.

Taking a deep breath, she stepped forward onto the balcony.

Riko smiled and retreated, gesturing for Yoshiko as well. “Let’s give them some space,” She whispered.

Yoshiko nodded, and the two of them stepped out of the room, closing the door behind them.

Now alone in the room, Yo took another steadying breath and gave Chika a shaky smile.

“Hey, Chika,” She said. She put a hand on her heart, trying to still her heartbeat. “Can we talk?”

#world of oasis #aleneshazam #fanfic #fanfic update #YouHane #YouYoshi

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