#zenokei

[zenokei]

— the sun has set ; michael kaiser.

starring :: michael kaiser x reader

wc :: 800

tags :: hurt/comfort, reverse comfort, nightmares, implied self harm and abuse, kaisers backstory (brief)

synopsis :: michael kaiser often times has nightmares about his past, and you’re the only one who seems to not mind his outbursts.

when michael kaiser has days where the weight of his life seems to overcome his resolve, there will be no doubt that on that night, scenes of his past come and haunt him. agonizing nightmares keeping him pinned onto nothing but illusion as he chokes on awaiting tears in his sleep. it’s unbearable, really: constant tossing and turning without his consciousness, harsh clutching of his blanket, and the straining furrow of his eyebrows—and it hasn’t changed ever since.

well, perhaps it’s been bearable from the moment you’ve been by his side when he sleeps.

“mihya,” you call softly, “come on, wake up.” 

drenched in sweat, kaiser gasps as his eyes open to darkness. he reaches out for what’s closest to him, and to his advantage, it’s you. “you’re with me.” you mumble, fingers combing through his hair—not stopping until you feel his body’s tension loosen up, even for a little bit. “i’m with you.” from his head that’s buried on your abdomen, he looks up; breath still undeniably trembling with frustration and anxiety.

“you- what time is it?” it’s too quiet around you both, the busy streets outside sounding empty–only the sound of light rain echoing is out. “it doesn’t matter, rest up again. i’m right here.” when kaiser realizes he’s overslept from the initial nap he took many, many hours ago, he feels around for his phone.

12:39am. 

“liebling, sorry- you should be the one asleep. i’ve had plenty already.” suddenly, kaiser rushes off the bed, slightly stumbling as he does so. the abrupt loss of his presence creates a frown on your face. knowing his usual ways when facing a nightmare of such level, kaiser isolates himself. 

“mihya,” you call out, voice still kind as ever, yet he doesn’t look back.

“mihya,” you call once more, and you’re standing up from the bed, going after him.

“michael!” now, he looks at you: eyes in disbelief when you tug on his arm with force. “let me go. i’m going for a walk.” he pulls back, but you don’t let him. “not tonight, stay inside.” although you knew what to be expecting, the sheer anger and pain in his voice has you wincing. “it’s too fucking suffocating here right now- damn it, don’t touch me!” as kaiser hears his own words when you reluctantly let go of his arm, his body slumps down to the floor.

his back is against the doorframe, legs tucked onto his chest like a pitiful child as his head is hung low. looking down at him, your breath shudders for a moment. you assume–rather you’re fairly certain that kaiser’s nightmare still lingers in his eyes. him mistaking you for someone that would hurt him is most likely. 

so you take his pace, sitting down in front of him on the cold ground even if he doesn’t dare look at you. “out of all people, why you?” kaiser tiredly whispers, arms muffling his voice. “me?” you whisper back, copying the way he’s sitting, although it only differs as your eyes are locked on him. “why did i think you were him? you’re not him.” kaiser’s voice is small, hands tentatively tapping on his skin as he trembles. “mn. i’m not. it was just a nightmare, mihya.” once more, his breath is uneven, and it’s bothering you more.

“it’s not about that! why am i always thinking about that bastard, even though there’s no reason? even in my fucking sleep, i see him! what the fuck is up with that?” you only hum, feeling sorrow come undone from kaiser’s body. “am i not free? despite everything i’ve done to leave that shitty place?” when you see kaiser’s hand itch to grasp at his neck, you quickly intervene. concern washes over you when you notice just how glossy kaiser’s cheeks are, its faint shine is reflecting under the dim light. 

“mihya, you’re with me. are you not? that should answer everything.”

you gently lean your body towards his, and kaiser’s head rests itself on the warmth of your neck. “but-” his frustrated sobs are getting covered up by you. “no. nothing more, nothing less, mihya. i’m with you, and you’re with me.” his arms heavily grip on your shirt, fingers trembling as he tightly embraces you. “it was only a bad day,” you whisper in his hair, lovingly hushing him to only listen to your lone voice. “mihya, it’s okay.” kaiser’s body is still shivering under your hold, tears dampening your collarbone as it seems to not give in anytime soon. but that’s fine.

“we can stay here like this, or maybe go back to sleep if you’d like that instead.” the palms of your hand gently pry his face from your shoulder, and it continues to caress it as kaiser sniffles. “what do you think?” the burden in kaiser’s mind dissipates to your palm, its weight getting heavier as he pushes his head onto it. 

“stay,” and you will. with a tender thumb that wipes away his tears, it consoles him, making kaiser feel the most humane as he’s ever felt.

“okay.” you smile at him, before pulling him back into an embrace that kaiser will never take for granted.   

© zenokei | do not repost, copy, or use my works.

[zenokei]

— my one true love ; itoshi sae.

starring :: itoshi sae x reader

wc :: 400

tags :: slight angst, hurt/barely any comfort, implied love-bombing, slight codependency, avoidant attachment, reader is overwhelmed

synopsis :: itoshi sae didn't think his love would hurt you.

the itoshi sae he becomes when he’s with you is nothing like what outsiders see–what those who are far from being his lover see. instead of his cold, closed-off demeanor, he is the nicest when it comes to you. 

itoshi sae loves to love you,

and he breathes to be able to love you–and perhaps you just don’t see it.

“sae, do you love me?” one night, when your thoughts push everything aside and suffocate you, you mutter. ‘i love you.” you shake your head, making his words bounce off your ear, unbelieving. “tell me the truth,” even though you sit beside sae’s body, arm locked with his, you feel lonely. “please.” you beg, tears hidden and falling directly on sae’s shoulder. “i love you, that’s the truth.” but during that night, you don’t believe it. and it makes sae feel guilty.

every breath of “i love you” he gives out feels like home; not because it’s him getting used to it, but rather, him feeling like a kid again. his heart oughts to beat like never before, blood pumping as fast as it can to reach his cheeks and show you how pathetically in love he is with you. yet, is it not enough? to change for you is something he will do forever more, no complaints. 

“i don’t think you should love me.” he expects the worst, but he can’t bear to let you go so foolishly. “why?” he’s scared, and you’re no better. “i’m undeserving,” your voice breaks while his heart slows down. “of?” the distant murmurs of the sea’s waves are haunting, it sounds too clammy now, and sae is starting to hate it as jaw clenches tightly. “you,” in between soft sobs you say, “your love,” unbeknownst to you, sae has been staring at your worn-out figure for the longest time already, eyes stinging with angst as he does so. “your everything, sae.”

for the first time in his eternal days of loving you, itoshi sae falters.

you’re wrong–because you are the first and only one worthy of his love.

“why would you say that-  how could you even say that?” sae’s voice breaks now, and he’s unable to look at you without his composure breaking. “i don’t know-” you’re cut off, and a pitiful voice that’s not yours echoes through the seaside, “you’re so stupid.” a weight leans onto the top of your head, everything else becoming silent once more. 

that night, sae lets you cry; and each tear that falls down your swollen and tired face feels like an insult to sae’s love for you–and yet, he can’t do anything about it. 

itoshi sae loves to love you: but what can he do when his love might not be what you need?

© zenokei | do not repost, copy, or use my works.

[zenokei]

— blue lock archive

starring ::

⋆ itoshi sae. my one true love

⋆ itoshi rin.

⋆ michael kaiser. the sun has set

© zenokei | do not repost, copy, or use my works.

[zenokei]

— zenokei's masterlist

yuqi | jersey 10s enthusiast :p

⋆ info | 18+ ;; i write, reblog, and babble about anything and everything

⋆ works | blue lock

— “ lukewarm ,,

© zenokei | do not repost, copy, or use my works.