tainmenter

[tainmenter]

I've just been informed by a friend that the "Roast Chicken" motif I used for "LIGHTS, CAMERA" was actually snuck into "It's TV Time," meaning I somehow got that right too...!

With Deltarune chapters 3/4 coming soon and the recent hype around Tenna and Pluey, I've been reviewing all the little lore-drops we have so far, and I decided "Y'know what, I've always wanted to make a Deltarune fan-track." Besides, it's good practice to make a "showman" type theme for a certain character in my own game. Not sure what to classify this as. It's not exactly a cover since there's not a song to cover, but at the same time I'm hesitant to call it an original work since I definitely did take inspiration from other fan-made Tenna themes. In any case, I hope you enjoy! (Also, fun fact: Most of the shadow crystal related themes like THE WORLD REVOLVING or NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO BE A are titled in all caps.)

[tainmenter]

Finally got around to posting this one on YouTube! I'd appreciate it if you checked it out! (Plus, you can loop this one! Way more convenient than pressing the play button over and over and over and over like I do... hah...)

DRIVE ON, TOGETHER...!

Although Two Planets Approach the Roche Limit easily remains my favorite track from Kirby and the Forgotten Land, I have a special place in my heart for A Full Speed Farewell from the New World. Kirby as a franchise has always, especially in the 2010s and onward, had an exceptional ability to make memorable finales, but this one blew all the previous games' finales out of the water in my eyes. The visuals are stunningly beautiful, on par with those of Xenoblade, and the adrenaline-fueled feeling of being unstoppable in the climax of the game is one that I'll forever remember. Slowly realizing what was about to happen in-game, only for the iconic invincibility theme of my childhood to kick in... it goes without saying that I was moved to tears as the stars in my eyes took shape for one last drive, watching the world around me fall apart while I powered onward. As for the song itself, I especially admire its composition. The entire 100-second song is composed of only two motifs: one being a staple of the Kirby franchise, and one being from the Forgotten Land. You can hear the clash and unity between the old world and the new world, fighting for control over the melody while blending with each other perfectly. The instrumentation reflects this too—the song creates a mix of chiptune reminiscent of past Kirby games and more modern sounds (especially electric guitars and synths), reflecting the past and future of Kirby going hand in hand as the series transitions to its next phase. I wanted to both emphasize this symbolic duality and add my own personal touch to it, so much of the song consists of soundfonts from Kirby Super Star, my first retro Kirby game, and from Undertale, the game that first inspired me to pursue my dream of making my game, a dream I still pursue to this day. Likewise, I tried to blend the compositional styles of the Kirby franchise and of myself, and I may have snuck in extra motifs from 90s Kirby and from Deltarune, though the latter is very well hidden. Every second of the song is filled with an insurmountable hope to it, almost as if it were saying "Nothing can stop you, so drive onward!" Despite the song being at a fast-paced 185 bpm, the song makes frequent usage of rapid 16th note patterns, reflecting the sheer speed and power you hold in that moment. You can feel both the desperation of the final boss and the indomitable force of Kirby, earning the song its invincibility motif. All of this culminates around 68 seconds into the song, in which a minor key version of the Forgotten Land motif takes the spotlight, trying to push away the invincibility motif, only for it to grow louder and more prominent, pushing away the darkness. From a personal standpoint, the song almost feels like one of love and care, as if you were fighting with all of your heart to pull someone dear to you back from the depths. In a way, it reminded me of one of the final boss fights of my own game, in which the boss is throwing everything he has at the protagonist in one last desperate attempt to push him away, but the protagonist remains unshaken, fighting with a godlike hope for the sake of the boss. In any case, I hope this analysis was enough to fill the ~2 minutes it takes to listen to this cover. If you enjoyed it and want easy (or at least easier) access to it, I'm planning on uploading this to my YouTube channel alongside some of my other song covers (and soon some original works too!), so stay tuned.

[tainmenter]

I think the only thing I got right about this theme was the vague Spamton leitmotif (and not even the right one, at that!) and the saxophone soundfont. Suffice to say, my expectations were both subverted and surpassed by this chapter!

With Deltarune chapters 3/4 coming soon and the recent hype around Tenna and Pluey, I've been reviewing all the little lore-drops we have so far, and I decided "Y'know what, I've always wanted to make a Deltarune fan-track." Besides, it's good practice to make a "showman" type theme for a certain character in my own game. Not sure what to classify this as. It's not exactly a cover since there's not a song to cover, but at the same time I'm hesitant to call it an original work since I definitely did take inspiration from other fan-made Tenna themes. In any case, I hope you enjoy! (Also, fun fact: Most of the shadow crystal related themes like THE WORLD REVOLVING or NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO BE A are titled in all caps.)

[tainmenter]

within the deepest reaches of my mind there is a boombox playing Super Paper Mario OST - swoon.exe on loop

[tainmenter]

Another quote from Toby Fox that resonates with me:

It's been years since I started writing my game. It started with one scene, looping in my mind, a scene I found to be so important to me that I wanted to share it with the world. It's only expanded since then, into a collection of scenes and little details that shape a world inside my mind... It's a world that's only existed in words and music for years, and it's one that I've only been able to start actualizing recently. I want someone out there to see the things that I felt were worth devoting myself to, and maybe... they'll feel heard, and in turn, I'll feel heard too.

I believe this set of statements is one of the truest reflections of my goals as a game developer.

I'm well aware that the game I'm making isn't for everyone—perhaps some may find it too aesthetically driven, perhaps they may find it too layered and not aesthetically pleasing enough, it could be too short, it could be too long, it could be too cookie-cutter, it could deviate too much from the norm—I won't know until I try. I spend countless hours worrying about how the public, from the masses to the individual player, will perceive my game, or if they'll perceive it at all (after all, there's never a guarantee of success). Nevertheless, I have to stay driven with my goal in mind, my true goal.

I want to make a game that'll reach someone's heart.

Maybe it's the person that needs it most.

Maybe it's someone who lived their whole life afraid of things they couldn't control.

Maybe it's someone who wanted to save the world and felt too small and powerless to.

Maybe it's someone who just felt they didn't have enough time.

Even if it's only one person, even if my game is ever even seen by one person, even if that one person ends up being me... I have to keep making my game for that person. I have to make something that can be torn apart, unraveled, and explored to resonate with someone beyond just how it looks because someone out there deserves that experience, and I want them to be seen and told that it's okay to feel the way they do while illuminating a path forward.

I can only hope that I reach that person someday, and as long as I'm still breathing, I'll keep working at my dream for them. All I can ask is that everyone who wants to see that dream come true bears with me during the process, and I'll make it worthwhile.

[tainmenter]

DRIVE ON, TOGETHER...!

Although Two Planets Approach the Roche Limit easily remains my favorite track from Kirby and the Forgotten Land, I have a special place in my heart for A Full Speed Farewell from the New World. Kirby as a franchise has always, especially in the 2010s and onward, had an exceptional ability to make memorable finales, but this one blew all the previous games' finales out of the water in my eyes. The visuals are stunningly beautiful, on par with those of Xenoblade, and the adrenaline-fueled feeling of being unstoppable in the climax of the game is one that I'll forever remember. Slowly realizing what was about to happen in-game, only for the iconic invincibility theme of my childhood to kick in... it goes without saying that I was moved to tears as the stars in my eyes took shape for one last drive, watching the world around me fall apart while I powered onward. As for the song itself, I especially admire its composition. The entire 100-second song is composed of only two motifs: one being a staple of the Kirby franchise, and one being from the Forgotten Land. You can hear the clash and unity between the old world and the new world, fighting for control over the melody while blending with each other perfectly. The instrumentation reflects this too—the song creates a mix of chiptune reminiscent of past Kirby games and more modern sounds (especially electric guitars and synths), reflecting the past and future of Kirby going hand in hand as the series transitions to its next phase. I wanted to both emphasize this symbolic duality and add my own personal touch to it, so much of the song consists of soundfonts from Kirby Super Star, my first retro Kirby game, and from Undertale, the game that first inspired me to pursue my dream of making my game, a dream I still pursue to this day. Likewise, I tried to blend the compositional styles of the Kirby franchise and of myself, and I may have snuck in extra motifs from 90s Kirby and from Deltarune, though the latter is very well hidden. Every second of the song is filled with an insurmountable hope to it, almost as if it were saying "Nothing can stop you, so drive onward!" Despite the song being at a fast-paced 185 bpm, the song makes frequent usage of rapid 16th note patterns, reflecting the sheer speed and power you hold in that moment. You can feel both the desperation of the final boss and the indomitable force of Kirby, earning the song its invincibility motif. All of this culminates around 68 seconds into the song, in which a minor key version of the Forgotten Land motif takes the spotlight, trying to push away the invincibility motif, only for it to grow louder and more prominent, pushing away the darkness. From a personal standpoint, the song almost feels like one of love and care, as if you were fighting with all of your heart to pull someone dear to you back from the depths. In a way, it reminded me of one of the final boss fights of my own game, in which the boss is throwing everything he has at the protagonist in one last desperate attempt to push him away, but the protagonist remains unshaken, fighting with a godlike hope for the sake of the boss. In any case, I hope this analysis was enough to fill the ~2 minutes it takes to listen to this cover. If you enjoyed it and want easy (or at least easier) access to it, I'm planning on uploading this to my YouTube channel alongside some of my other song covers (and soon some original works too!), so stay tuned.

[tainmenter]

i'm going to run every executable on your computer at the same time

[tainmenter]

As a writer, I've been especially interested by depictions of violence as a metaphor for intimacy and vulnerability.

There's a scene in the game I've been making for quite some time now where this jester—someone who's spent most of his life masked both metaphorically and literally, who conceals himself from the world in every capacity out of fear that any knowledge of who he really is may ruin his life—is unmasked in a moment of weakness. As he searches through the rubble, desperate to find the mask before someone can see his face, the protagonist sees him. The jester is terrified, but he tries to maintain his composure, acting as though nothing has changed, that he's still the infinitely reliable and captivating showman the protagonist knows him to be. Seconds later, he swings his dagger, aiming for the throat. The ensuing fight displays the jester consumed by fear, desperately trying to kill the protagonist, the only person who's seen even a glimpse of who he is underneath it all, and the only person who could ruin his life. He fights like a cornered animal, rapidly and brutally attacking out of fear of his secret being shown to the world, and the protagonist is torn between defending himself and trying to help the jester.

To tell the truth, I always thought of the scene as an allegory for making oneself vulnerable. You hate yourself for doing it, you hate yourself for ever letting someone get close enough to see who you are, and the whole time, you just wish they'd disappear so nobody could show you to the world—even if they've never shown any intent of doing so, you know that anything is subject to change, and someday, they could hate you enough (especially with the unlikable person you are) to try to ruin you. The fight isn't meant to be pretty. It's animalistic, it's saddening, it's irrational from the player's perspective. It's your first glimpse at someone deeply damaged who resents you for seeing him, but at the same time, he needs you. As much as he bemoans it, he needs someone to see him, yet he knows he can't have that without running a risk he's not willing to take—his only choice is to deny himself that vulnerability and try to stop it from ever getting out, as much as he hates himself for the things it drives him to do. The violence is his last attempt at salvaging things after he's already made himself vulnerable, his last attempt at reversing the past and going back to his perfectly constructed persona that keeps him safe. In the context of the game, you can quite literally see his fear controlling him, pulling his strings as his solitary way of life is threatened.

Of course, there are dozens of other things that scene represents—to give an example, one of the things I had in mind when I first wrote the scene was the notion that misanthropy as a philosophy is ultimately rooted in fear (of course, that one requires a bit more context about the character)—but I think the one that personally resonates with me the most is the cruel nature of vulnerability. We all have a side of us that we wish nobody could ever see, and for better or for worse, we do let that side of us out sometimes, whether it's to people we've learned to love and trust or to strangers we hope we never cross paths with again. Vulnerability isn't pretty. It never is. To cite the Hedgehog's Dilemma, we can't be intimate or vulnerable to someone without risking hurting them or getting hurt. Some people are able to accept that risk, but many lack the ability to, and the jester is especially terrified of the idea of having to trust someone not to hurt him—even someone as benevolent as the protagonist, who has shown him nothing but good will; however, the more the jester fights, the closer he gets, and the more of him the protagonist sees. The fight, if nothing else, is an intimate one. You see years of repressed emotions intensely burning, pouring outward further and further as he gets increasingly more frustrated with you for seeing it and with himself for letting you. In the end, he loses this fight against you and himself, and he has to face the cruel reality that he has to trust someone. As much as he loathes it, he's relieved that he can finally be vulnerable with someone. Such is the way love works: once the fears have run their course, once the worst of you has been brought out and even then accepted, maybe you can learn to overcome that fear and take the risks that come with vulnerability.

I suppose if any of this spoke to you or resonated with you, I'd appreciate if you'd follow my account. I'll be posting a lot more about the progress of my game development here, and I'm especially excited to share some of the things I've been pouring hundreds of hours of thought into for the last few years. Odds are, I'll probably make a separate blog for more spoiler-heavy stuff once I gain a larger audience. As it stands, I'm still looking for a pixel artist/animator before I can continue progress on the game's production outside of fleshing out the story/music (though I've been trying to pick up pixel art/animation myself), so if you're interested, please reach out. Thank you.

[tainmenter]

Myna: a birding game!

Hey everyone!

I’m currently working on Myna, a quiet birding game about self-discovery and reconnecting with the natural world.

This is my first ever game, and I’m still a beginner programmer, so things are still in the early stages. I'll be posting updates and progress pictures and videos on this blog. If you have thoughts, ideas, or just wanna chat about birds or game dev I'm always here!

[tainmenter]

I believe this set of statements is one of the truest reflections of my goals as a game developer.

I'm well aware that the game I'm making isn't for everyone—perhaps some may find it too aesthetically driven, perhaps they may find it too layered and not aesthetically pleasing enough, it could be too short, it could be too long, it could be too cookie-cutter, it could deviate too much from the norm—I won't know until I try. I spend countless hours worrying about how the public, from the masses to the individual player, will perceive my game, or if they'll perceive it at all (after all, there's never a guarantee of success). Nevertheless, I have to stay driven with my goal in mind, my true goal.

I want to make a game that'll reach someone's heart.

Maybe it's the person that needs it most.

Maybe it's someone who lived their whole life afraid of things they couldn't control.

Maybe it's someone who wanted to save the world and felt too small and powerless to.

Maybe it's someone who just felt they didn't have enough time.

Even if it's only one person, even if my game is ever even seen by one person, even if that one person ends up being me... I have to keep making my game for that person. I have to make something that can be torn apart, unraveled, and explored to resonate with someone beyond just how it looks because someone out there deserves that experience, and I want them to be seen and told that it's okay to feel the way they do while illuminating a path forward.

I can only hope that I reach that person someday, and as long as I'm still breathing, I'll keep working at my dream for them. All I can ask is that everyone who wants to see that dream come true bears with me during the process, and I'll make it worthwhile.

[tainmenter]

the opposite of the underdog is the updog

[tainmenter]

i have just been informed that "round" etymologically stems from the word "rotund." i feel betrayed. we didn't make a funnier word with another letter in the middle, we made a less funny word by removing a letter. why would anyone do this?

it fascinates me that there is a word called "rotund" that almost means "round" again. yes just make the same word with a t in the middle

[tainmenter]

it fascinates me that there is a word called "rotund" that almost means "round" again. yes just make the same word with a t in the middle

[tainmenter]

what emotion does the tetris theme even elicit

[tainmenter]

i cannot stress enough how much this image has impacted how i put on my jackets

[tainmenter]

Very fond of this analysis, and I highly recommend giving it a read for those who haven't already. I could definitely see Deltarune going further in this direction with the newer chapters. To add onto the idea of getting "more light" and going upward from the Dark World -> Light World -> Real World -> Heaven, I'm especially curious as to whether there exists something beneath, or rather "more fictional than," the Dark World, especially with Gaster's remark of "Dark, darker, yet darker." Moreover, one of the Spamton Sweepstakes easter eggs has a tab title saying "But what if it could..." that changes to "... get darker than dark?" when you click the chair, changing the sprite of the chair into a darkened and moving one. Perhaps one of the new chapters will explore the idea of a Dark World within a Dark World: the dreams of dreams, so to speak. Rather than Gaster existing lighter than the Light World, it could very well be possible that he exists darker than the Dark World, which would tie in with his remarks in Entry #17 and the theory that Undertale takes place in a Dark World. Perhaps the Vessel could be Gaster's attempt to make a vessel for himself rather than the player—requiring the dreams of someone from the "real world" for him to exist in the worlds above. All things considered, I'm looking forward to what the next chapters will have in store for us and how they'll develop the leading theories/spawn new ones.

Deltarune: an essay on why I do not exist.

Toby Fox created a piece of fiction called deltarune. It was the product of a particular dream that he had, and is set in the light world. In the light world, there is a character, the knight, who creates fictional worlds called dark worlds. Suzie and Noelle, who exist in the light world, describe their times in the dark worlds as dreams.

There is a prophecy in deltarune, “a legend of hopes, a legend of dreams, a legend of light, a legend of dark”. This prophecy connects hopes to light and dreams to dark. The dreams of lightners are represented by the dark worlds and the hopes of darkners are represented by the light world.

Spamton’s goal is to reach [heaven] aka the light world, and ralsei believes his purpose is to serve the lightners. These resemble the hopes that people in our “real” world have in religion, with a lot of christian imagery being used.

I believe that just like how the dark world was created by a lightner, and how the light world was created by a “real” person, Toby Fox, our “real” world was created by God the father.

The motif of light, or light motif (joke intended), is prevalent in the bible when describing heaven, a higher plane of existence than earth. The more light, the more real the universe is, the more dark, the more fictional the universe is. Hope is when darker beings worship lighter beings, and a dream is where a lighter being creates a darker piece of fiction.

The lightners in deltarune worship the angel. Not much is known about the angel, but in Undertale, the player is the angel, so as a being in the “real” world influencing the light and dark worlds may be the same being that the lightners worship.

W D Gaster has had an effect on our “real” world, hijacking the official Undertale twitter, and likely being the voice behind the goner maker sequence due to the Gaster's theme in another him, meaning that Gaster is responsible for connecting us, “real” people to the world of Deltarune. W D Gaster must therefore exist lighter than the light world but still being a fictional character, darker yet darker than we are. Gaster is likely behind Spamton's insanity due to the garbage noise Spamton refers to being a sped up version of the music for entry 17. Gaster knows that his existence is fictional, breaking the fourth wall by talking to us through Toby Fox, and drove Spamton mad with knowledge that his world is fictional, explaining Spamton's desire to get to [heaven].

I also believe that the roaring is caused by dreaming darker, as Ralsei prevents Berdly from creating a fountain inside the dark world, before describing the roaring. It would be interesting to see in the future how the theme of fiction is continued in deltarune, maybe dreaming too dark causes everything to be lost to fiction.

In conclusion, I believe that the pattern of light and dark does not end with Toby Fox creating Deltarune, but with our world being a fictional creation. We worship god just as darkners serve lightners and lightners worship the angel. Heaven is brighter brighter yet brighter than anything in our world, with everything being made by god, a higher power. I cannot prove that I am not just artificial, so the logical conclusion is nihilistic in nature: I do not exist.

[tainmenter]

Anyone know a good place to start learning pixel art and animation?

I've never exactly been the best at visual art—I get way too impatient with myself, I don't have a steady hand, all that—but I do want to make more progress on my game since I've got so much done in the area of story/music with little to show for it (at least without posting spoilers about the game... lol). I'm hoping to find a pixel artist at some point, but in the meantime, I'm hoping I can at least try my own hand at making my ideas come to life.