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[tenshinekoowosdiary]

22th of August 2022 Monday

Hello there, dear World.

For a bit I thought that I would change into posting weekly but then there is too much to tell. So I am back to trying to post daily. Again I am not posting about my own art but about the band my sister is in. It's called Artful Dissent and this is the first music video they ever made. It's a bit sad that the video quality varies when trying to watch this video. One fact I like about this video is that the underwater part is actually taken in our cottage lake. I am so happy it's still so clear.

Let me tell you about yesterday now. It was a bit of a struggle. I didn't get any sleep the night before. I had to manage with the power of coffee and I did pretty well considering my lack of sleep.

At morning I somehow was able to forget that school had started. I was putting my mind to editing the code of my very own website that isn't a school project. And then when I was trying to contact my teacher to help restore my WordPress site, I didn't get any answer. Maybe it was only a good thing because this way I had a change to take it easy more today.

I felt a bit like a bad person today. I had agreed to go meet a friend today. I didn't have energy to go. That wasn't too bad but also I didn't notify that I am not coming. He isn't my favorite friend but still it doesn't mean I get a licence to treat him badly. I will try to be a better friend in the future.

I don't exactly know why but today I opened Azur Lane once again. It was a bit of weird that it had kept count about how many days I had been offline. When I called my best friend when I was soon about to sleep, I almost hyped about the game. I am currently pretty sort in money because there are so many subscriptions I want to keep going and I am saving to get my games back so it wasn't exactly the wisest thing to do to play a game with in app purchases. Wish me luck that I don't start using too much money on it.

It was a bit before this day but I am happy I have figured out a new way to relax. I will put some anime rolling on my second screen and then do something other on my main screen. That way I don't feel so alone when doing something on my main screen and the anime keeps annoying thoughts away.

Just a couple more reasons to be happy about this Monday. I got a project done in which I back up every picture from DeviantArt into my external hard drive. I also separated all Pokémon art into a separate folder. Somehow going trough my own art always feels so relaxing and encouraging to do more.

Second happy thing about the day is that I learned how to make a slideshow on my own to my own website. Before, I had to ask my friend to make me one but now I can do it myself. Only adjustment I want to learn to do also is to make the slideshow pages linkable so people can continue where they left off.

But this should be enough for one post. I hope people have a nice day.

[tenshinekoowosdiary]

16th of August 2022 Tuesday

Hello there, dear World. Today I want to promote the music of my sister's band. This is my favorite song from them. I have got their permission to use their music on my social medias as background music so I have a reason to be thankful and promote their music. At some point I will also make a music video to this song when I have learned how to.

Today has been really exhausting. It has been two nights in a row that I have slept poorly and it has been two mornings that I have vomited a bit while trying to brush my teeth. If this continues on, I will have to take a month of from school again or something. I wonder am I just too stressed because of trying too much again. I wouldn't like to admit that.

The best part of today was that I called my best friend. I tried to explain him what problems I am facing while trying to use WordPress. He didn't understand about anything and I don't remember much else about our discussion but it made me relax nicely. Going to the church cafe also made me relax. I also played Diablo 3 a bit. I almost felt bad because Blizzard is what it is but main point should be that I didn't give them any more money even that I played their game.

When it comes to school, I did do the required hours and did learn some things about WordPress but I was still a bit disappointed in myself because I wasn't able to do what I wanted to as fast as I wanted to. I learned about plugins and how to make columns to a post but I still couldn't figure out how to make sidebar navigation to be visible on only one page. Hopefully I will figure it out tomorrow.

[tenshinekoowosdiary]

15th of August 2022 Monday

Hello there, dear World. Today has been a good day but somehow exhausting. It is most likely because I got so little sleep last night. Main points about today are that I went to school of course, after school I went to pay one dept to one friend and when I was back home I got pretty tired. I had to cancel one online meeting because of that.

Morning didn't start nicely. When I tried to brush my teeth, my mouth got overly sensitive to the foam again and I vomited a bit. I had to start brushing my teeth all over again because of that of course. It wasn't fun.

School day was exhausting but I learned couple of things about WordPress which I am supposed to use to make my website. I wondered for couple of days how to even make a drop down menu on the platform but I found that out. I also learned how to make different pages for different blog categories. I feel like I accomplished something important. I am happy.

When I was meeting that one friend to pay a dept, I ended up staying to play Exploding kittens and to watch Only yesterday. Sometimes it takes some time for me to motivated to play games but I had played Exploding kittens before and ended up winning. My opinion on Only yesterday is that it's watchable but not actually my kind of a movie. I am older than the main character but still couldn't assimilate well.

When I was back home I ate something to get more energy but it didn't help well enough. I made some coffee too to have enough energy to help my Ghanaian friend to manage his volunteering organization but even coffee didn't help enough early enough. I think drinking coffee was actually a mistake because now it's 10:00 pm and I feel like doing plenty of things before going to sleep.

[tenshinekoowosdiary]

13th of August 2022 Saturday

Hello there, dear World. First week of school this semester is over now. It has gone better than I thought. I am happy. What I am also happy about is that even with school work, I have had energy to do my chores at home little but little. My little living room is still messy but the nurses are also happy about my cleaning progress.

Honestly said, I am not sure what will happen to my Tumblr account when I get my website ready. Will I just ignore whole account because I can keep a blog on my own website or post the same stuff on both. I don't know yet. Most likely I want to use my own website for everything related to me and my art so I will at least keep my website updated about my Tumblr if nothing else.

Today's video is not connected to my art or me in any other way than me liking it. Electro Swing seems to be my new favorite music genre and it is thanks to this video that I found it.

[tenshinekoowosdiary]

11th of August 2022

Hello there, dear World. I never thought I would say it like this but life is keeping busy. Things that keep me busy are of course school and art but now I also have social medias to update about my art. Last but not least I am helping my Ghanaian friend to organize his organization because he doesn't know much at all about social media. It is really sad that Instagram somehow doesn't let him make an account for the organization even that Facebook does. It's weird because they are both organized by Meta I believe. Weirdest part of all of this is that I actually enjoy this busy life and knowing when I am doing and what.

Today I got some information from my teacher about WordPress. He explained that you actually can customize it how ever you want if you know how to code well enough. I am happy. I thought I had to make a more simple and undesired version of my art website as my last school project. I am happy I was wrong. He also told me that WordPress is the current standard so if I learn how to use it, I will be most likely hired.

Then about today's art piece. It's so old that I don't remember much about it. But it is one of the more rare pieces in that sense that the lines aren't black. Personally I like it so and that it's just line art basically.

[tenshinekoowosdiary]

10th of August 2022 Wednesday

Hello there, dear World. So it has happened, school started again last Monday. I feared so much that I will fail the start of school somehow but for now it has gone so much better than I feared. Okay, I have already overslept once but it was just one class that I skipped accidentally. I still call this start a win.

If you people don't know yet, I am studying to get Vocational Qualification in Business Information Technology. That's a word monster, I know. I have had more energy to study than I first thought but that changed a bit today. I thought my teachers would support me to do my art site with raw code but I was so wrong. Now they want me to do it with WordPress where you don't even need to know how to code. It feels as if all my coding studies have been in vain. Well at least I think I can still continue from here and actually learn to code and do the things I want. From here, I mean a whole new school.

In the end, someone who doesn't know a single bit about it could do my final assignment as well because I don't know anything about WordPress. I am as depended on Google as anybody else would. This final test proves nothing about my studies. I am strongly disappointed in this.

Then about today's art piece. It wasn't until now that I learned that I can just link to DeviantArt when I want to show an art piece. I am happy. Now I don't need to download them to my laptop and post them from there. I am happy. This little Tree Monster is called Mököliini. They do long travels in the world to seek places with as much moisture in the air as possible.

[tenshinekoowosdiary]

7th of August 2022 Sunday

Hello there, dear World. Let me again start with today's picture. It was supposed to be a logo for my sister's band called Artful Dissent but in the current time they have hanged it into something that is easier to see when it's in a small size. I understand. In the end there is so much details that would become miss able if this was the logo.

Today is the last day before school starts again. In the same time I am excited and full of fear that it will not go well. Today I had a little more stress because my old school password didn't work anymore and I didn't know when to be at school tomorrow. Luckily one of our teachers was online in Discord even that it is Sunday. Now I know I have to be there at 10:00 am. For someone who has sleeping problems, that can still be challenging.

I like to know things and learning isn't as painful as to most but school still brings it's schedule with it. Recently I have just fixed my daily schedules to work pretty well but now I have to take school into the calculations. It might not be so easy to still do everything else I want to do.

[tenshinekoowosdiary]

6th of August 2022 Saturday

Hello there, dear World. Today I have felt slightly down and lacking energy until I had my coffee. Sometimes I am afraid of drinking coffee because I am so sensitive, but usually it helps. After coffee it has been nice. Reasons that make me happy today are that I was able to enjoy playing Pokémon LeafGreen. During some years long ago I was just annoyed about playing them because I had to clear the game three times to get the roaming pokémon. Gaming should be fun and I am happy it's that way lately.

Today I linked my Instagram to Facebook, Twitter and this here, Tumblr. It makes me happy that that is possible to do so. It is easier to stay visible on all of them this way and my followers can pick which media they want to follow most. I recommend that no-one follows all.

Then about today's picture which is a drawing of my very dear sister. It is drawn with some crayon like tools that are very much better to use. If I find that picture again, I will refine it a bit but I think it's worth showing you as it is.

[tenshinekoowosdiary]

5th of August 2022 Friday

Hello there, dear World. Today has been another good day even that I don't have too much to tell. I don't know why but today being on my phone has felt more relaxing than before. Maybe because I learned a bit how I can organize apps and have two of them open simultaneously. I am even thinking about switching my bullet journal into digital form.

Good things about today were that I had the energy to select all images and videos of animals from my Google Photos account to a separate album. I found some nice content there. In the way doing that I found too much pokémon go related pictures so my next project is to remove the ones I don't need. I also had energy to play a good session of LeafGreen. The Power switch on my DS lite usually takes many tries to work and today I found out a way to turn it off pretty reliably. That makes me specially happy.

The creature in today's drawing is called Medusia. It's my own Fakemon. I was supposed to create sprites for it into one fan pokémon game but I never got myself to finish them. But there is still time. Maybe later.

[tenshinekoowosdiary]

29th of July 2022 Friday

Hello there, dear World. Today is a good day once again. Here is a flower for you. I know this is a really old picture and hasn't taken too much effort to make but I still think it's worth showing to people. Even that it is made carefree, I find it intriguing and visually attractive.

As said, today is a good day once again. What makes me happy is that I went to buy GBA wireless adapters, two of them, today from a store where I am a regular. What makes me specially happy about that visit was that the person keeping the place up said that I can get a special discount just for me on the Pokémon games I have to get again. I think he feels compassion towards me because my games were stolen some months ago. There are actually two stores where the cashiers remember my face. I don't need a card to prove I am a regular. That makes me happy. Also there were couple of games I need so I can transfer pokémon from 3rd generation to current. Actually enough for that so it was a good visit.

I don't know how many of you know but I have a financial guardian who takes care of a big share of my money related tasks. Yesterday I got 50 € from her to buy the wireless adapters. For some reason I started looking for drawing tablets. I got a really big itch to get one again because that was probably stolen too. I can't find it anywhere. I admit. I am bad with money so I was so proud of myself not buying drawing tablet and buying what was planned.

[tenshinekoowosdiary]

28th of July 2022 Thursday

Hello there, dear World. This time I will tell about the art piece first. It is really short clip but I really want to share it because I think the sound is so mysterious. If you believe it, this voice is actually made by playing ukulele but edited severely. There is really no singing even that it might sound like it. For me it really sounded like there was a deep male voice singing something. At first I didn't get what the words are but this is the first part that I heard when I listened to it with more focused mind. I named the part and maybe the whole song as follows:

Sound of no-one

So you think that no-one is so moved by your simple death.

I don't actually know how old this little sound is but today I really payed attention to it. Yesterday I posted a post to TikTok with the full sound but it might need some editing so I will post it here if I ever get to editing it fully and specially if I find out what I think the rest of the track is saying to me.

Today has been a nice day. I was a little disappointed in myself when I woke up again. I had my alarm ringing but I didn't wake up to that. Instead it was about ten. That isn't really bad considering that it is still summer leave but I still felt bad about it. The things that have made this day a good day none the less is that I helped my African friend to make YouTube account for his non profit organization called Jinho Volunteers. That was a good deed done. My Ghanaian friend doesn't know much about working digitally nor has a computer what so ever so most likely I will be helping him with his organization's digital accounts much for a while. I will feel useful. That feels good even that sometimes I feel I don't have too much energy left from my own duties.

[tenshinekoowosdiary]

27th of July 2022 Wednesday

Hello there, dear World. Today is a wonderful day. What makes it wonderful is that my bedroom finally feels like it's my bedroom. Usually I have had too much stuff there and unorganized. Well now it's finally tidy in my standards and organized. It still needs more drawings on the walls but still it already feels like home. I felt like jumping and rolling on my bed and actually did that when my nurses came to check how I am doing today. Slowly I will make all rooms feel like home.

As you guys might have noticed, my internet name is TenshinekoOwO. Shortly just Tenshi so this picture is telling about me. Weak Tenshi has died, hopefully for good and this strong Tenshi is back. I posted this picture because I have faith that things will go better here on. I have had more energy than before now and it hasn't been just a random day once but already for like two weeks. Of course I can't swear that this is going like this for good but now I feel good about how I am doing and I have a good feeling about the future.

Because I have found my scanner's power cord and my external hard drive, I feel like now is really the time to focus on organizing my art and maybe photos too. My google drive is pretty full. Hopefully during that process I will get more inspiration to draw new art too. Another art project that I am going to do is to color my first comic. I don't know will people appreciate it at all even if it's colored but for a long time I have thought that I should appreciate the effort my little self made when I was small. So I will use the old lineart and color it with my current skills.

[tenshinekoowosdiary]

26th of July 2022 Tuesday

Hello there, dear World. Last night it happened again. I stayed up all night and now I am writing with the power of sheer coffee. Not too much have happened since last post but I want to write this now anyway. I felt uncomfortable some time during the night but now with my coffee, I am doing okay. I still hope that next night goes better.

Today I have managed to clean the last and toughest room meaning my bedroom. Now there is just lots of organizing left because I have gotten too keen to organize all of my stuff at once and now they are all in one huge mess. But after I am done with organizing I can be happy and at least almost remember where everything important is. Truth to be told cleaning is my weakness. I can say it might have something to do with my diagnosis but I will never get better if I start hiding behind my diagnosis too much.

Next month is coming sooner and sooner. It means that my school is starting soon but even that I am a bit scared, I also wait for it. I have been able to stay up in daytime for some time now so if I take it easy, I should be able to arrange my sleeping schedule to school life. Two other reasons are that I get a tiny bonus money when the next month starts and I get to start new Bullet Journal. For me that is a fun thing.

Today's drawing is from my teen years. I think it still looks okay except for the moon because I remember what some people have said about my earlier way of drawing moon's craters. I personally like the lion monster thingy really much.

[tenshinekoowosdiary]

25th of July 2022 Monday

Hello there dear World. Today is a good day. There are several reasons for that. One of them is that I found this awesome music artist on YouTube. I guess that the name of the original artist is Mitsukiyo. This is exactly what I call cute music. It is giving me really much energy to do my daily routines. Even that I still think Brony Music in general is good but this kind of makes me more fan of cute anime than ponies.

Other reasons that make me happy today are that I got my kitchen cleaned today. I have on my To-do-list to clean the entrance and bathroom too but I still have time. As I am writing, it is 4:44 pm. I also have to mention that I did my first YouTube stream in a bit. I got this idea to make streams of me reading my book. No-one came to listen at the time but maybe some time when I have properly advertised it someone will come. The third thing that makes me happy is that maybe I don't need to publish my art book physically which will cost too much to the customers. At least I wish that people will like more the YouTube version where they can just listen to my voice.

I think TikTok and YouTube can help me a lot to become professional artist but there is somethings that annoy me about them. Nearly at the very start of me using TikTok I tried to look how I can stream my drawing. Phone would be good tool to stream. It is right that if I draw digitally, my laptop is the best tool for that of course but I would like to stream my traditional art drawing too. I tried to look how to stream on TikTok but apparently you need 1k followers to do that. Then I saw that there was option on YouTube to make a stream but then again my account is not authorized. I am annoyed. I guess streaming takes much data on YouTube servers but it still annoys me. It's so hard to become professional artist with all of this.

That's all for today.

[tenshinekoowosdiary]

21st of July 2022 Thursday

Hello there, Dear World. Yesterday wasn't that good day. I didn't complete all the tasks I was planning to do. The night before I had been up until like 4:00 am. I had been trying to animate but then too many times the animating program just stopped responding. I realized that I might need a new laptop or PC to animate.

When me and my best friend started to wake up, we decided to cuddle up and keep sleeping like that for a bit. That a bit of time stretched long and it was like 5:00 pm when we finally woke up. After that we went to buy some food. We were planning to boil some potatoes and fix sausages and such but then it happened that my friend suddenly needed some time for himself.

At home I started a project of organizing my manga and books. Slowly I am going to organize my whole apartment so I know where everything is and throw or give away things I don't need. It's going to be so nice when I know where everything is.

Today's picture is of Liara. I was asked to draw her by a friend but then he didn't like it. I think the line work could be more clean but otherwise I am happy about it.

[tenshinekoowosdiary]

20th of July 2022 Wednesday

Hello there, dear World. Yesterday was an excellent day in my opinion. I was able to complete all the tasks I was planning to do. That makes me really happy. This was the first full day I spent with my best friend at his babysitting a cat job. Doing my daily tasks took me almost the full day so I did feel a little pinch when he said that I shouldn't make my day all booked up with tasks. I think he was right that when I am with friends, I shouldn't keep myself occupied the whole time. I do enjoy accomplishing stuff but I should write to my book to give him some attention too.

On my activity list there was taking a walk too. I thought taking some photos as we waked would have been nice but he walked so fast, I couldn't focus my camera. He told afterwards that we could have stopped if I asked to but for some reason I didn't realize that soon enough. The thing that made me happy about the walk was that I learned how close by my dad lives to the place. If it wasn't so late already, I would have called Dad and asked to visit him at least quicky.

Today's picture is of a potato as you can see. The funny part is that those eyes and mouth were there already when I peeled off the potato. I didn't carve them myself.

[tenshinekoowosdiary]

19th of July 2022 Tuesday

Hello there, dear World. Yesterday was a good day again. As usual I didn't complete all the tasks I wanted to do but who cares. I had agreed to go babysitting a cat with my best friend after I pick some free food from the nurses. For some reason I had decided to do my hair childishly that day. I had pulled my front hair to the right and on the left I had gathered the rest of my hair to a high ponytail. When I went to fetch the food, one male nurse complimented my hair. I was a little disappointed when my best friend said that the hair style didn't quite compliment me.

Before I arrived at the cat babysitting place, my best friend had informed me that all his shirts are in the laundry. We are close friends so it didn't feel wrong or weird to me that he was without a shirt at my presence. But when he sent me to buy some couscous and cola and I came back with him wearing an apron it did feel weird in a funny way. He wanted to take it even further and wanted me to take a picture of him cooking with rum bottle in the background. I took it and thought it really is a funny picture of him but of course it would be too embarrassing picture to show here but I got his permission to tell about this happening.

Then about today's art pieces. The first one is pretty old. One of my family acquaintances asked me to draw something for her baby. She told me that babies like red as a color so that's why I drew a red haired fairy there. I personally like the see trough effect on the dragonfly's wings.

Then about this stupid twisting worm formed by lines. I am actually surprised I was able to make it. The animation teacher on YouTube said that one shouldn't be bothered by the pin tool yet, but lookie here what I made with the pin tool just by messing around with it. I am proud noob animator.