tequilamockingbird2015

[tequilamockingbird2015]

Hello everyone. I think I last logged in about four years ago. So it’s been quite some time.

I should have announced that I was going to stop running my blog. This community has done so much for me and my recovery, and I owe you all an explanation.

So you all know how I was studying hard to be a therapist? Well, it happened. I’m finally a licensed therapist! That being said, it would be ethically quite sticky for me to give mental health advice to people who aren’t my clients. Therapists are supposed to refrain from offering any clinical interventions or interpretations to people who are not in our care, so I am not sure if answering asks is appropriate. But perhaps I can still post about coping skills and strategies for mental wellness that I find helpful, without necessarily recommending them to anyone in particular? I’ll give this some thought.

When I started this blog, I had just been diagnosed with BPD and was really suffering. This community helped me understand my disorder and connect with others who relate as well. I have met several friends through the BPD community here, and one of them I actually now live with!

All of you here—your guidance, support, feedback, and love—have made such a big difference in my recovery. I finished DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) and I can now say I no longer meet criteria for BPD. Yes, some days are hard, but overall my illness is far more manageable and my quality of life has dramatically improved. I just wish everyone had access to therapy like I did.

Now that I’m a therapist, I do CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), DBT (of course), CBTp (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Psychosis), and I have just completed training in CPT for PTSD (Cognitive Processing Therapy). The exciting aspect of this work is that there is so much more to learn and so many ways to help clients. It’s very rewarding, but admittedly I am struggling with feelings of inadequacy. I wonder if I was better at giving advice when I was running this blog!

My personal life has changed too. I found out that I don’t have major depressive disorder and persistent depressive disorder, like my therapists thought I did; it turns out I have bipolar II. I also have delayed onset PTSD. I have alluded to this before, but I had trauma in high school. Up until a few years ago, I was pretty much okay, but then I ended up in an environment that very much reminded me of my trauma and that triggered full-blown PTSD and the hypomanic episodes. This also triggered panic attacks and eventually panic disorder, though CBT has helped immensely with that.

Not gonna lie, these new diagnoses felt like a major setback. I made so much progress with BPD… and then these other disorders developed. PTSD in particular is really kicking my butt. Thankfully, it’s not affecting my work at all. I would still say that I’m not struggling nearly as much as I was several years ago, before I was in DBT. I’m trying Prolonged Exposure Therapy for PTSD, so I will see how that goes.

Anyway, I appreciate you all. Thank you for everything you have done to make my days brighter. It’s been a honor running this blog and being part of this community. Recovery is possible. And beautiful.

All my love,

TM

[tequilamockingbird2015]

Medication is often stigmatized and that really bothers me. I’ve taken meds on and off for years to supplement my focus and combat my anxiety. I’ve adapted because of prescriptions. None of us are weak for this, we’re simply helping our brains get the chemicals they need to function better.

Available on RedBubble!

Please do not repost or share without credit.

© Megan Fabbri 2017

[tequilamockingbird2015]

BORING SELF CARE series.

🗑📞💷💊🚿📩🚽📎

The next few days I’m going to share drawings about how self care is often really really dull and unenjoyable. And not the “tumblr” kind of self care which is often lovely but not always real. Sometimes you just need to have clean clothes in your draws. Even though these things often build up in your mind the actual doing is often not as bad (unless obviously you are low on spoons 🥄, which is another discussion really as picking up your clothes off the floor may use energy you need to say, feed yourself. ) What are your boring things you do which are self care? #boringselfcare

Follow me on my Instagram: @makedaisychains

[tequilamockingbird2015]

BPD positivity requested by anon! 💕

[tequilamockingbird2015]

i want to be so kind it echoes backwards in time and undoes the things that hurt you. i want to be so kind it radiates from me. i want to be so kind that i make someone else find faith in humanity again. there’s not much i can do, i’m small and weak and i only know so many words. but i know i can be kind. and sometimes, i believe, that changes the world.

[tequilamockingbird2015]

[tequilamockingbird2015]

how do i know if i need to see a therapist

the number one indicator that you should see a therapist is thinking “hmm, should I see a therapist?”

[tequilamockingbird2015]

I think I’m gonna start making comics to help me deal with bpd… here’s one

[tequilamockingbird2015]

types of healthy coping skills

1. self-soothing

comforting yourself through the 5 senses

Touch: stuffed animals, stress balls, taking a bath, a soft blanket

Hear: music, audio book, guided relaxation

See: snow globe, glitter, calming images, art, anything that pleases you visually 

Taste: tea, mints, gum

Smell: lotion, candles, incense 

2. distraction

removing your focus from the stressor for a period of time

puzzles, art, crafting, reading, movies, gaming, exercise, being social

3. opposite action

doing the opposite of the impulse that aligns with a positive emotion

affirmations, inspiration, lighthearted and encouraging focus

4. emotional awareness

identifying and constructively expressing what you’re feeling

journaling, listing emotions, using a emotional identification chart, drawing, therapy

5. mindfulness

centering and anchoring yourself to the present moment

meditation, guided relaxation, yoga, breathing exercises, candle gazing, going for a walk

6. ask for help

this is important to do when you feel like your coping skills are not enough or they are too negative and detrimental  

therapy is ideal for helping a person create a healthy coping strategy and incorporate it into their life 

*a coping skill is considered healthy if it helps you to deal with stress more positively, does not hinder your progress, and isn’t harmful physically or mentally. A coping skill can become negative when it is used to completely avoid dealing with the stressor. 

[tequilamockingbird2015]

ahh … ha ha. oh god. ye good ole fear of abandonment. 

also, for the record, you can reblog even if you don’t have bpd. I understand a lot of people with different disorders may feel these things, even though we experience them differently. so you are allowed to reblog! 

[tequilamockingbird2015]

By: Federico Babina

[tequilamockingbird2015]

I always hate it when people are all “so do you go to school, or are you working, or” and I either have to

make up some lie, or

eventually get around to “I am not working because of depression/anxiety,” and subsequently have to deal with whatever bullshit-riddled and completely unsolicited opinions on mental illness this stranger feels obligated to share with me.

So my therapist was like, “You don’t have to do either. You can just say you haven’t worked in a while because you’re recovering from an illness.”

I tried it when the home inspector was here today, and it fucking worked. He was like, “oh, I’m sorry, are you doing better now,” and I’m like yeah, and don’t worry, it’s not contagious, awkward laugh, and we moved on.

MY THERAPIST. IS A GENIUS. Because it is an illness, so it’s not a lie to say that, and it’s also none of his business to know specifically what it is, and I clearly don’t want to give more details, so we should move on from this topic. MY THERAPIST IS A GODDAMN GENIUS.

[tequilamockingbird2015]

Sometimes when I talk to my significant other about a person/a group of people and he says something seemingly negative/even just constructive about them I get really upset or defensive because I sort of feel like he's talking about me, even though I don't even know the person that well/at all (like a celebrity) or am a part of that group. Like I develope weird overly emotional connections to them and then anything not positive seems like a jab at them/me and upsets me. I don't know what to do

Hey there,

Part of this might be that who and what you are attached to is part of your identity. If you don’t really feel like you have your own sense of self, you may feel like the things and people you like comprise your entire identity. It’s common for anyone to have their sense of self partially derived from their interests (like if you are a huge fan of martial arts or love seeing Broadway shows) and feel a little hurt when someone makes a negative comment about it. If you are extra attached though that can amplify how much more it hurts and how much more personal it feels, because if you struggle with identity it may feel like this celebrity or interest is everything you are, like you don’t exist outside of your attachment to them.

I had a similar experience. When I hear someone say something negative about a group I affiliate myself with, I translate that to “They are not talking about me specifically. It is not about me. And I am more than my affiliation with ____.” Every time I hear that I take a moment to breathe and translate what I just heard. I have to remember that other people aren’t quite as sensitive as I am and may not realize that not liking my interests feels like disapproval of myself as a person. They don’t mean what our brains tell us they mean. They don’t associate us with that group as intensely as we do. They are talking about this one person/thing separately and don’t really see it as talking about us, if that makes sense.

This isn’t to say that I am simply telling you “well don’t take it personally.” I’m encouraging you to take a step back, check the facts about what they are really saying (which is surface-level really), and remind yourself that they see you as a person beyond just an association with a celebrity or interest. Remember, people can disagree on things and still like who the other person is. Try to think about times when you still liked someone overall even if you didn’t like something they liked. Does that mean you disapprove of that person? Or that you love them any less? Definitely not.

Trust me, I know it’s hard and it requires practice. It will get easier with time though.

Hope this helps,TM

[tequilamockingbird2015]

Anyone else with social anxiety act kind of extroverted?? Not necessarily because you feel comfortable, but because if there is silence it gives your brain time to be like they don't like me they think I'm boring quick gotta say something interesting!! Also let's reflect on the last thing you said and how horribly awkward it was!!

[tequilamockingbird2015]

I wish people didn’t see being ‘triggered,’ as being mildly offended or upset by something.

Triggered means something completely different.

It means feeling sick. It means feeling numb. It means relapsing. It means being destructive. It means being torn apart. It means being transported to the worst times.

It’s not a joke.

It’s fucking horrible.

[tequilamockingbird2015]

[tequilamockingbird2015]

You need to remember that you’ve managed to get this far in life. You’ve been in situations where you thought you’d never make it out but you did. You lived to tell the tale. You survived another day. You got through it. You learned from your mistakes, you realised where you went wrong, you grew as a person. You made it. So whatever you’re going through now, you’ll get through that too.