thatcontrolfangirl

[thatcontrolfangirl]

“the way autistic people express empathy can seem strange to others, and they might be incorrectly seen as unempathetic when in reality, the problem is miscommunication” AND “many autistic people have low or no empathy, and talking about this does not promote stereotypes or make us bad people” can and should coexist.

[thatcontrolfangirl]

I kinda wanna talk about my empathy situation because I think it’s a bit unique to my specific autism.

I have slightly low cognitive empathy and even lower affective empathy. I don’t feel the emotions of others unless they are extremely close to me and I know them very well. This never changes for me no matter the situation. I can, however, sometimes understand the emotions of people I know because I have a little cognitive empathy. I can’t often put myself in someone’s shoes but I understand emotions enough to understand why someone might be sad, or angry, or happy.

Example: a friend is crying because their dog died. I don’t know this dog, this is not a sad occasion for me personally. I don’t cry or get sad, in fact this event might be annoying for a split second because it ruins whatever I was going to do with the friend. However this feeling isn’t permanent and usually passes quickly. However, I can understand that my friend is sad because their dog died and might need a friend to listen to them. I will still be BAD at comforting them because I cannot fix the problem and autism makes communication in general hard. Either way, I end up at least trying to comfort my friend. The end goal is the same, I just skip the step of getting emotional because my brain doesn’t work like that.

Honestly I don’t understand empathy at all. I get cognitive empathy, understanding someone’s emotions is useful. Affective empathy, or, feeling someone else’s emotions, though, is a mystery to me. Isn’t it harder to do things when you’re getting emotional over someone else? Hyperempaths/ normal empathy ppl please fill me in.

[thatcontrolfangirl]

high empathy autistics: left out and underdiagnosed because many professionals thought all autistics have low empathy

high empathy autistics: earn their rightful place in the autism community after lots of advocacy

autism community, including low empathy autistics: we can have high empathy or low empathy! not all autistics are low empathy but we need solidarity

(some) high empathy autistics: actually no, low empathy autism isn’t real, we actually all have high empathy! we’re just misunderstood teehee! Also empathy equals being a good person and if you don’t have empathy you’re an abuser. (HEAVY sarcasm of course)

low empathy autistics, who have literally done nothing wrong and are now being pushed out of the community: wtf?

[​this is a VENT POST, don’t start discourse. Either use that empathy you love to boast about and put yourself in my position, or just scroll away]

[thatcontrolfangirl]

please can we do inbox trick-or-treating this year. can we make that a thing on tumblr. please please please please please

[thatcontrolfangirl]

Support Autistics with low/no empathy!

Support Autistics with intellectual disabilities!

Support Autistics who weren’t gifted kids!

Support Autistics who were in special education!

Support the Autistics who are so often demonized or left out by the community

I'm not the first to say this. I won't be the last to say this.

But if you support Autistics, you need to support all Autistics.

Support the ones with moderate needs, the ones with high needs. The ones that are loud. The ones that haven't learnt any social skills and are seen as embarrassing by allistics.

Support the ones who are hyperverbal and talk way too much about their special interest.

Support the ones who are nonverbal and communicate with AAC and struggle to be heard.

Support the ones with stereotypical behaviours and then ones who mask so hard they deny they're autistic at all.

Support the Autistic parents who are exhausted all the time and the Autistics who still live with their parents.

Support Autistics all the time. Not just when they make you feel good.

[thatcontrolfangirl]

[thatcontrolfangirl]

explain your gender in 10 words or less without using boring words like “male”, “female”, “nonbinary”, “masculine”, “feminine” or “androgynous”.

go!

[thatcontrolfangirl]

If you want, tag where you’re from

[thatcontrolfangirl]

Hiro! Tamago! Seriously?! You bunch of tech wizards won't help Goofy fix a little old camera?

[thatcontrolfangirl]

she is so beautiful, she’s also a lesbian ❤️

Say something good about this character!

[thatcontrolfangirl]

reblog to teleport your mutuals to a massive party when jkr dies

[thatcontrolfangirl]

Sorry had to delete the poll- round two of autism stereotype polls!

Just a reminder that low empathy does not equal bad person, people with personality disorders are not inherently abusive, and self-proclaimed “empaths” can fuck off

[thatcontrolfangirl]

what are some of you guys woman/girl blorbos. like female characters you are utterly obsessed with

[thatcontrolfangirl]

[thatcontrolfangirl]

I'm not a lesbian, but I will never deny how much the lesbian community means to me. As a young queer kid, growing up in a conservative christian household, there weren't a lot of places I could look to for people who seemed like me. Different in the same way I mean. I didn't find them at church, but I did find them in visible lesbians, butches with three piece suits and short hair or my lesbian cousin with her pin up poster on her wall. I have always found comfort in the way butches talk, this sort of tough no nonsense tone who care so deeply, who have been so kind to me even if they called me an idiot and a dumbass the entire time. To young closeted me, these were my heros. Lesbians who were unabashedly themselves, who saw something in me before I did and took me under the wing because of it. I may not be a lesbian, I may not be a women, but I can never lie and say the butch lesbian community hasn't been a home to me. Words can never express how much butches mean to me. They've always been the women I've looked up to, the type of person I've wanted to be. I may not be a woman, and I may not be a lesbian, but I want to be butch, to be like them even just a little bit.