thatdudenicolaw - Tumblr blog

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[thatdudenicolaw]

It doesn’t happen like that. You don’t just wake up one day and find that everything has worked itself out. You must get out of bed, morning after morning, and make a conscious effort to control the circumstances of that given day. You must learn to handle your issues with grace because you respect what they are attempting to teach you. You must drown your insecurities slowly, one self-realization at a time. You must allow yourself to feel the fear bubbling just beneath your skin but you must never allow it the satisfaction of crippling you; grit your teeth and march on. You see, they never tell you how hard these things will be. This fight to reclaim yourself is not easy or straightforward but, my god, is it necessary. 

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Cigarettes After You

When I met you l was a stranger, a void invoked by the love that I left behind.

I had nothing but the

smell of cigarettes that stained my shirt that I haven't probably washed.

You filled the void within with words of kindness and brought the sun back to my life until you became my only vice.

Your face lingered like a stain of nicotine, hazing through my mind.

So I quit smoking.

You alone eased the longing for warmth.

In my mouth, your name was the safest.

So I quit smoking, but only for a while.

So much like a cigarette, you burned into the night and vanished in the light of day.

Now I sit alone under the skies, waiting desperately for a shooting star,

wishing upon the heavens to bring you back to my life-with nothing but a burning cigarette in hand.

Sighing through a smoke or two-left with nothing but the taste of cigarettes lingered longer than you.

Help me quit my vice, that is you.

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Kylemore Abbey

Connemara, Ireland, 30 VI 2023

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The Gardener’s House at the Palace of Versailles, France

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Bilal Al-Shams, Sacrifice

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