thatfrailsoul

[thatfrailsoul]

Personal readings are open again!♡

– Receive guidance from me

Please read everything thoroughly ♡

pictures from pinterest → one, two, three

There are moments in which... Everything is just a little too much. Too much chaos or too much stagnation. Too many ideas or doubts. Too much pressure. There are moments in which it is so frustrating and scary to wait or try to decide, risking so much of what we managed to achieve so far. There are moments in which we just crave something clear, something direct and simple to help us find that peace. There are moments in which we hope for an answer, a message that is only for us, that can help and guide us through everything that is overwhelming us. So we pray, we hold onto that sign, that dream, that feeling, looking for someone that could explain to us their meaning... And so now, if you ever want or need, I can be the one to help you with it. With connecting with yourself, your heart and your mind. With asking those questions that you don't know how to say out loud. With finding their answers, and understanding them without any if or but. With finding your own safe and right path.

– So... how it works?

– In each reading, personal or here on my blog, my focus will be always first and foremost you, your safety and wellbeing. Mental, emotional and physical. No matter the topic or the situation that we are talking about, I will look at it always from your perspective. What you need to know or understand. What is the best for you and what you should do to stay safe and on the right for you path. And this means that in my readings I will always prioritise you over others in your life or that are of your interest. Willingly not diving into their life, intentions, feelings or reasons - more than necessary for your guidance and what you need and can know - and intentionally not nourishing your focus on anyone but your own self and your journey and growth.

– For every guidance you must choose only one situation/ topic that you would like the reading to be about. Prioritizing what is challenging you the most now and what you feel like you need the most help with. In case you have more than one situation that you would like to look at, you will need to request and pay for a separate reading for each one of them. In addition, you may not ask questions about death, pregnancy, legal, medical or health related situations, or about celebrities and fictional characters. As I'm here only to help you with understanding your own self and your world more, so you can make your own decisions and steps in life.

– In case you already did a reading with me, and you would like to receive once again guidance for the same situation or topic - unless there were some significative changes in the situation itself or how you feel about it - I will use my right to decline your request. Simply because by providing you guidance I'm meant to help you to move forward and make progress, learn and grow. Which is the complete opposite of making you pay again and again - nourishing your focus on the wrong things - for the answers that you already have and need only to truly hear and understand.

– This service is for entertainment purposes only, and it's not a substitute for medical, psychological or legal consultation. In the same way, you hold the responsibility for your own actions and decisions in your life, good or bad, and me, or the reading and this service, are not responsible for it in any way or form.

– Rather than dividing the readings based on the topics or having a set price, I prefer to decide it with you, based on your necessities and financial situation and possibilities. This way you can always be comfortable with the price you are paying, while also receiving the needed for you guidance.

– A refund is not possible, even if you change your mind before the date of our reading. A reading is something really serious and important, so I want you to be really mindful of your choice and take your time to be sure of your decision before paying, to avoid having regrets or spending your money uselessly.

– If you are interested in receiving personal guidance from me, or if you have some more questions about my service, you can message me here through my blog. And I will answer you as soon as I can, usually within 24 hours. This way we can talk it out, so you can be more sure about your decision and aware of all the details about how it works. Talking with you first will also help me understand your situation better so I can eventually give you a more suitable reading, or let you know if, for any reason, I can't or don't want to read for you.

– After we talked and when you are sure about your decision, and only after that, you will be able to book a reading with me and pay for it through my kofi page in the "tips" section.

– You will receive your reading within 3 days after we organised and confirmed everything. In case I have a lot of clients you will receive it a little later, but you will never need to wait for more than a week after paying me.

– The reading itself will be sent via email. The videos of the shuffle of the cards are not available, for storage reasons, but you will always receive the photos of all the cards that will deliver your message.

Lastly, please remember that personal guidance or not, you always hold the answers you need within yourself. And, while I do help you in understanding them better, you still can do it on your own. So if you don't feel sure, and especially if you have a challenging financial situation, don't feel pressured in paying me or anyone else for help. But instead take some time for yourself, slow down. And listen closely to your heart, that you can always trust. ♡

_

[thatfrailsoul]

Hello, I hope you are doing well!

If you are still open to suggestions for your Divination Jukebox, I would like to recommend a song called ‘All Your Days’ by Shallou and Emmit Fenn. When I listen to this song, it reminds me of the simple joy of being able to share your day with the person you love, all of those days adding up to the privilege of sharing your life with someone, and they with you. It evokes this feeling of being so content and fulfilled and sure, all through a specific person’s companionship. In particular, the height of the song makes me envision a montage of small, simple moments shared by two people throughout the course of their life shared together. And although I have yet to experience this myself, this song makes me hopeful that, maybe, someday I will.

On another note, the music video tells a different story to the song when listened to on its own. They both narrate beautiful stories, and different elements will resonate with different people, so I would recommend taking the time to experience both (but only if you would like to!) Even if you don’t use it for the Jukebox, I hope you enjoy the song, regardless. It is one of my favourites to listen to, when I need a little bit of hope and joy, and I hope that it brings you something similar ☺️

All Your Days: https://youtu.be/QqY4hkr2z3A?si=WMeMA93s-4nu0r4x

In the end I did both, I watched the video and I listened to the lyrics without anything else, just my imagination and feelings... It is such a bitter sweet song and message, full of nostalgia, or even fear and surrender, that I think so many of us can recognise and relate to. So I hope that I'll be able to make a worthy reading for it.

Thank you so much for this suggestion, and for sharing your own interpretation, I'll keep it close to my heart as I read the cards... And even though it did take me too long to arrive to your suggestion, I'll start working on it these days, so I hope that you'll like it and that, someday, I'll receive your suggestions once again. ♡

_

[thatfrailsoul]

— Summertime sadness

a summer pick a pile tarot reading

(pictures from pinterest → one, two, three)

Sometimes… Our hearts start to race too fast, the chest feels just too tight. The thoughts become louder and more confused, each one of them trying to convince us that they’re the ones telling the truth. And all we want to feel… Is just peace and reassurance. Two arms that hold us tightly, a voice that whispers to us words of sweet comfort… Giving us all the needed answers.

And yet, it happens so rarely. We face it all alone. And this summer… Once again we will need to be our own guardian, as we step up to protect us from others, or from our own mind…

A season has passed since the beginning of this year… So seemingly little yet enough time to start to have doubts about all our plans, the chosen paths, that we still weren't able to make work, no matter how hard we tried.

The bitter realisation hits, and so does the quiet surrender and tired fear of what will happen next… In the second season of this year, the one that we imagined completely differently from what it looks like now, when we can see it on the horizon.

So how on earth will we be able to survive it, when we are already so tired and broken, feeling so cold and alone… While the nature around us blooms, being taken care of by this world, almost mocking us for all the failures and stagnation surrounding us..?

Slow down. Allow this sadness and tiredness to overwhelm you. Stop holding it in… And feel it truly, listen to it, as your heart will call you to that one pile that speaks to it, holding the message that you need to hear.

-Pile One,

the four of wands, the three of cups, the ace of swords.

Your steps are so fast, so chaotic now. They are rushing you, pushing and pulling you, from one opportunity, one solution, to another, before you realise where you are looking or where you are going, before you can stop them and force them to slow down… But did you really lost control over them, or did you let go, letting the frustration and fear caused by this stagnation overwhelm you, while silently hoping that one of many things you are resorting to would work?

This journey, this situation, is barely on its beginning. And yet so many months have already passed in front of you before you even could manage to make your second decisions. Before you could make any progress, achieve any result, find any confirmation that this one is really worth the wait and hopes…

And now it is already summer. A season that should've seen you coming glowing with victory and enthusiasm for what's ahead… Not with shoulders bent under the weight of failed plans and expectations, and the jealousy for the satisfied and proud voices of others for their journeys, that you can already hear…

It really shouldn't be such a big deal, you know it. And yet this change of seasons feels so definitive. Your ability to live well the next months so dependent on the success of the last ones… You just imagined it differently, the plan in your head was much more specific and neat. Perfect to the tiniest bit. And now you will need to keep on going, to work, to worry, to rush. Because if you stop for just a moment, trying to live up to that idea of summer that you've had in your mind, everything will just collapse, being so fragile and little to be able to sustain a few carefree months…

But, fortunately, things don't work this way, the events of our lives are rarely so specific in their failure or success. There are so many things that are halfway done and already good to be enjoyed. While others, although being kind of confusing and shallow, still are not enough to disturb or destroy what we've created so far.

You think that you didn't accomplish anything, that there was no progress, no victories on your end. That every single person around you did something, and so they fully deserve this period of calm and joy under the sun… But you too deserve it. You have a project, you have something that you are working on, regardless of how much progress you made so far. It is enough. It is enough to feel proud. It is enough to feel that reassurance of a work that is being done.

So don't start to condemn yourself already now, to that full of work, worries and pressure, summer. Don't mourn already the fun plans and relaxing days that you won’t have this time. And don't feel the frustration or shame, because of how little you did compared to others. Because it is not true. It is not real. That failure that you are convincing yourself that you are.

It's just a different type of journey, of a process. It just has a different pace than someone else's, or that you expected when you started it. But it doesn't in any way condemn it to be a loss, something to be ashamed for. Nor does it mean that it will never give you anything, unless you run from one place to another in search of a different way to save it and make it work.

It is fine. You. And this journey. Even if there is still so much to do, even if you weren't ready to be at this point in your life by summer.

A change of season is not a deadline, it's only a different phase that is meant to help you, being dedicated to something specific. In this case, it is to remind you to slow down and breathe, to relax for a moment. To step aside and wait for a while, allowing this journey to complete its process. To allow all the seeds that you planted with your dedication and effort… to finally grow, instead of being suffocated by your worry.

You can step aside. You can wait a little before doing another step or making a decision. You can slow down in some moments and then speed up again as you work on it. Nothing will go worse or collapse if you stay one day outdoors, with your loved ones. Nothing will burn to the ground if you eat an ice cream in a park, or swim for a few hours, resting. Actually, these little moments will only help you, more than any search for another way would ever do to you. Just because you too need some time and rest, some distraction and experiences that aren't only about this situation or project.

You will have your summer. You will have your fun and you rest. If you’ll allow yourself to. Exactly because of all the hard work you already did, and that is more than enough right now and in this moment, even if you convinced yourself of the opposite.

Everything is going well, everything is alright. And you can have your vacation and carefree summer. Just trust yourself, your decisions and steps so far. Trust the time that they are taking to evolve into something better and bigger. And make use of this slower pace that this situation is forcing you to have. Don't see it as stagnation, failure, or menace. See it as it is, just a moment to rest and recharge, before coming back stronger, with a clear mind, and even more ready to take charge.

p.s.

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♡ Find my readings directly in your inbox

♡ Receive personal guidance from me

-Pile Two,

the nine of cups, the eight of wands, the seven of cups

It is so different from last year, isn't it? And it is so strange. How you can be the same exact person, and yet you feel much stronger. How there are so many same situations that haven't been resolved, that are still trapped in this overwhelming stagnation… And yet you are kind of okay with it. You are over it, you somehow accepted and surrendered. Enough to not allow these situations and problems, these in a sense failures, to stop you from trying something new in the meantime, as you wait for them to evolve. It's almost like there is a new realization in you, the one about the time and the life that keeps flowing regardless, the one about you that have the permission to flow with them too, even if there are some things to which you feel still tied.

It is good, it is refreshing, to feel this way. For the first time in so many years you don't really have any fear of the new season. You don't see the deadlines, you don't hear them mocking you or rushing you. You see only something different and something new. Something that you genuinely want to try and explore, not allowing yourself or others to limit you anymore…

Or at least this is how you feel about it in one moment, in the grand scheme of things when you are looking at this new season getting closer from the horizon. But when it is indeed here… When you actually need or can get up and choose, start something, focus on it, looking away from all your not finished projects, fears, doubts or concerns… It kind of vanishes, that enthusiasm, optimism and readiness. And your body becomes stiff, the mind empty, or perhaps filled with that old and well known judgemental voice.

And it is just a shame. To realize that you are so strong and confident until the moment comes. Even if it is only about one season or one project. Even if it is only about an idea or a routine. It is a shame that all this energy seems to be just smoke that goes away as soon as that famous door of opportunity opens…

But can you really blame yourself, for slowing down unconsciously your pace in some moments? You’ve got through a lot. You managed a lot. No matter if it was hardly won battles or the process of accepting their losses. You managed to grow while staying true to yourself no matter what you were overcoming, no matter what lessons you were learning… It is new to be here and feel so different for once about this season, about this phase of the year in which you usually just observed others and their adventures, their fun stories… Trying to imagine how could it feel to be so relaxed and free, from the responsibilities or burdens, enough to have something new to look forward…

You need to still get used to it, you need to feel it truly. That freedom and possibility of choice that you have now, that you earned. So don't be so fast to feel regretful or frustrated because of this one step that your body seems to be unable to do now. Give it time. It will be fine either way, even if you don't choose a new path to go onto right now. One season, in the grand scheme of things, seems very little, its true. But still it is more time that you ever had just for yourself, or on which you actually had the control over. So you can go a little slower. You can dedicate first some time to just adjusting and wondering, exploring different ideas or desires of yours. You can just follow the flow, not resisting the events nor forcing them. You can be here for one more moment, in this sort of a middle ground between one journey and another, allowing yourself to be cuddled by your little victories and opportunities ahead that won’t run away no matter how much time you will rest and do just a sweet nothing.

p.s.

♡ Toss a coin to your reader

♡ Find my readings directly in your inbox

♡ Receive personal guidance from me

-Pile three,

the ten of cups, the king of cups, the two of swords.

Things didn’t exactly go like you expected… Your life doesn't really seems enough ready for this hypothetical new and exciting start… And the voices around you, their words, their judgment hidden in their ‘’advices’’ are not making it any easier to accept this failure… Or to find any strength and courage to continue to hope for it, even if the things are becoming so tough around here.

But, among all those mean, or, for some reason offended by your choices, voices… There are a few that are a little sweeter, a little more understanding, more patient in this waiting of seeing your growth and victory in all these battles. There are those that are more silent, perhaps, but still so close and caring. Still fresh and delightful, when they give you relief as they heal your scratches, convincing you that it is still possible to make it through, that everything is still okay no matter how it seems now…

They might be a friend, a family, a partner… They might be your own voice, a little phrase found in a book or film, a message hidden somewhere on the internet… But no matter what form they have or where they came from, they are still worth it, to be heard, to be believed as they whisper to you words of comfort and faith in your steps on this journey.

It is not how it was supposed to be. It is taking longer than expected, with so many moments in which you are simply unable to do anything or control it. It is so uncertain and confusing, still keeping it a secret about if it was worth it. And it does lead the way to all the doubts and questions, letting them right into your mind, allowing them to take control of your body that becomes so anxious and frenetic, as it looks for any other way or something else that could save it and make it work in time for deadlines and needs that are coming too close now…

But there is no use in this chaos in which you are trying to find some answers or comfort in. It is only tiring, draining, and annihilating. To your health and the one of your dreams and passions that you are trying to manifest by forcing them. It is frustrating, it is scary, it is simply unfair. I know it. But consuming yourself about it will not make it any better, it won’t resolve it.

As all those messages, sweet words, signs from this world or others, might sound cliche and kind of boring… They are true. You are doing your best, you are doing well. Not for this situation, this grand plan and its manifestation or for the comparison with any other person and their progress… You are doing enough for yourself, for what you can control and what you can do with what you have, with how you can make use of it. And even if it is so little now, compared to what it could've been, it is still worth it, to remain and to have faith, to celebrate even this little progress. Instead of declaring your loss, your inability, your lack of fortune or skill, your deservedness…

It won't be such an easygoing summer, just because you will not be able to escape your own heavy thoughts and the spirals in which they drown you… But it can still be a good summer nonetheless. It can be still a good season, with beautiful memories, peaceful moments, exciting news and discoveries, and long awaited progress… You just need to have a little more understanding. For your self and this journey. The way you go thought it, with all its ups and downs, and the way it evolves when you can't control it. It is important for you, so believe in it and respect it. Respect the way the things are unfolding enough to wait a little more. And respect all the hard work you did so far for it, enough to not judge yourself and your progress.

It will eventually work out, as it always does. And in the meantime the only real thing you need to do is to go easier on yourself, and trust those kind voices that keep believing in you and in your goals even when you have a hard time trusting them. Because they know something, they see something more than you do, and it is your strength, resilience, and deservedness, that will never pass unnoticed.

p.s.

♡ Toss a coin to your reader

♡ Find my readings directly in your inbox

♡ Receive personal guidance from me

_

[thatfrailsoul]

– Good luck and fate

Divinatory Jukebox: Chance in Coin || Chants of Curse, by Pengosolvent.

tarot pick a pile reading → one, two, three

There are things… that seem to choose us. The ones that seem to be the answer to all our questions, the solution to all our needs, the medium for all our dreams… There are things that captivate us, hypnotize, by whispering to us the promises that we so sincerely need to hear in that moment of our lives. So we follow them. Climbing over every obstacle, ignoring every bleeding wound, never turning around to listen to the voices that are trying to stop us, afraid that it might be a test, a cruel game in which we’ll lose everything we achieved so far… Everything that is contained in that one final prize that is looking back at us from the horizon. So shiny, so perfect, so desirable. Like the moon itself that is gazing upon us, guiding us… And yet, we lose ourselves in the dark, one step away, a wrong turn taken in a rush… The same promise is still visible, still present, but with so many new insurmountable obstacles between us, ready to tear apart our tired body, heart and mind. Leaving us without nothing, if not emptied inside out.

Was it really a good decision, a worthy plan, but just poorly executed? Was it really our fault, of our incompetence or lack of faith and patience? Or was it someone else's responsibility, perhaps a malevolent strategy to make us fall and forget about salvation or healing? Was it maybe… Just a coincidence? Or destiny? And does it even matter now, when we are on our knees, consumed and heavily breathing, lost between the opportunities and chances that never chose us back to begin with? Should we stop, start from scratch… or should we live with it? Should we see something, understand, about this journey that betrayed us so fiercely?

Slow down. Breathe. Stop holding in your emotions for a moment and let them flow. Let them guide you to the pile that has something to tell you now.

— Pile One,

the house: the hanged man and the ten of cups

It’s unexpected how it has grown on you. This journey, this idea and hope that became only stronger, even disperate, as your every try was abruptly refused and stopped.

This place and situation is so suffocating, pressuring, too tight to let you breathe, feeling safe with what you've managed to harvest so far… And yet not even one of your steps leads to the opposite direction, to another option, away from this nightmare. Not even one of your mind’s frenetic thoughts is about leaving... Because there aren’t any better ways to live here, there aren’t any options left that you didn't try already, failing.

It’s not really a matter of should you stay or leave, for you now. It’s just the matter of how to keep on holding on with the little strength and patience that you still have within you. What else could you do to make things work here and now, on this journey that you already dedicated so much of yourself to. As you will try your best to hide and ignore the delusion that is starting to overwhelm you. For this idea, your fate, yourself and your decisions…

You are chaining yourself to it, forcing yourself to look only in that direction, focus only on that one thing, not daring to say out loud that it all revealed to be just a failure… And you are deliberately convincing your own heart - that is screaming for you to find an exit - that all you found out here, all that you learned… Will ever serve only this place and way, only these people…

But you know well that this is not the truth. You know well that this journey, even with its harsh reality or perhaps because of it, teached you how to use the little that you have, to survive and make little steps forward despite everything that you went through. Because, even if it might indeed be wrong, but you did stay. You managed to resist and hold on for so long, and not just because of pure coincidence, luck or such strong manipulation of those that are holding you by the neck. No. You did it all yourself. Your conviction and determination did it. Even if it was a mistake, even if it was for the wrong reasons, but it did work, you did push yourself through all of this just because of your resilience and strength and anger that nurtured all of it.

So you can do the same, but for the right things now. You can leave. You can stop. You can take with you only what you experienced and learned, leaving without ever achieving what you initially had in mind. And you can make it work even with these crumbles. You can create with them something else. And you can find another place or journey or people that could fill in those little empty spaces. You can. Just because you did all of this up until now. And that same strength or stubbornness, fear or hopelessness that made you hold up so tightly… They can be the ones to push you forward somewhere new, somewhere different. They can be used to help you do something good for yourself, after all this time, instead of torturing you from inside out.

Simply because they are yours. Not of that place, those people or that journey. They are not the ones that gave you all this strength and faith. You always had them. And they won't disappear the moment you’ll take a step away from them.

There is no mistake, nor guilt, nor shame, in accepting that this one is not working. There won't be any failure, any destruction in your life just because you realize and accept it. There will be only an epiphany. A much needed ending to this suffering. And a new beginning, so many other journeys, that you can now recognise and choose thanks to the simple switch of your perception. And the power that you will finally start to feel once you realise that you are doing something only because you want to.

p.s.

♡ Toss a coin to your reader

♡ Receive personal guidance from me

— Pile Two,

the stars: the emperor and the death

There is something about it… Something so simple and yet complicated. Something that you know already, deep down within you, and yet you don't dare to say it. Something that others are trying to tell you… And yet their chosen words are so out of place that they can’t reach you. There is something hidden and yet so clear and obvious to all of those involved... And it’s your power of choice that you have upon it.

It feels strange, it feels odd and even ridiculous to hear it. How in the world could you be the one deciding this when every your step and breath are controlled and forced into someone else’s will? I wouldn’t dare to be another one that tells you to just go away and leave it, condemning yourself to a situation much worse than the one you are enduring here, right? Because if it is so, you already have enough of it. You feel literally crushed under all these opinions on how to manage your life and the things you are living. Advices that you never wanted, that never really give you the answer that you want to hear now.

That you are doing pretty well, that you are making progress. That you are doing everything in your power and thus things will work out in the end, despite all the problems. That you waited and endured a lot, and you need to just have a little more patience. To see the day in which it will all be recognised and cherished. Each tear, each heavy breath, each ache in your tired body. Each anxious thought and your heart’s screams that you ignored somehow... You just want to hear that it will be worth it. Because the idea that all this suffering was for nothing is much more painful, painful to even think it.

And yet there is a kind of truth to it. It is for nothing, if you destroy yourself for it.

This journey, this idea or plan, was something that was supposed to help you live a whole new life. New experiences, new perspectives, new rhythms, new achievements. New things to be excited and proud about. But also new things to enjoy and live. Something that you are not able to do now, because you simply are too tired to even think about it.

You are consuming yourself. Using every inch of you just to go through it, in hopes to see, perhaps one day, finally the end of it. Because it is already too late, you are too much into it, you have already done so many things for it that you can't possibly drop and leave it…

Or perhaps you can. Realising that nothing of this makes sense if there won’t be a happy and healthy you to witness it. Not a reward, a recognition, an achievement. Not any ‘’victory’’ against those that enjoy torturing you while you are barely breathing. It makes no sense already. Not because others don’t see it or don't believe in you and your achievements. But because of you who don't believes it either, but between nothing and something, chooses the one that appears to be more worthy of keeping.

But is nothing really so disgraceful? Or does that mean that you have simply the hands free to hold between them anything else, with all the time and chances to turn them one way and the other, look at them closely, possibly finding something you would have never seen in them just through a fast and tired glimpse from the place you chained yourself with?

p.s.

♡ Toss a coin to your reader

♡ Receive personal guidance from me

— Pile Three,

the bouquet: the star and the eight of coins.

Your sleepless nights and tired mornings are filled with so many thoughts, so many doubts now… About if you did the right thing, if you really did everything you needed to make this work, if you are not making a mistake by having so much faith in it…

And as each day passes, and the answer to those questions does not arrive, each of those thoughts become much heavier and draining, not living space for any other emotion than just fear and regret in your heart.

But that moment, that first step that you chose to do, was such a gift for you and your journey, for your growth. A gift that wasn't yet delivered to you.

It is indeed frustrating to keep on going without having any confirmation, any sign or certainty that this is really it, that it won't be a dead end or a trap like it already happened so many times. But… What you are doing is worth it. It is worth it regardless of the success or failure, regardless of the outcome that you will hold in your hands at the end of this path. And this is what this world, with such a particular and cryptic, sometimes even confusing way, is trying to make you understand.

It is important the reason and the goal for which you are doing all of this. It is the motivation, your inspiration and strength to move on. But at the same time it is not the only thing. Or, to be exact, the goal itself is not the only thing that made you chose this specific way and path. You chose it also because of the how. How learning and experimenting in this environment will be. How this new journey will feel with these specific people, in this specific place. How their ways will influence and help you to find your own right way… So why, now, you are focusing and waiting only for that outcome? Why are you rushing so far into the future with your anxious mind, not spending even a second in this present moment, truly feeling and experiencing the journey that you on your own chose for so many reasons that spoke to your heart?

There is nothing that you are missing or not understanding, there is nothing that you are doing wrong and that is causing this outcome to not be reached yet, to not be found… A part of, perhaps and simply, not living truly in this moment.

Because it is all already here. That goal, those experiences, those feelings. They are not yet complete, it’s true, they are hidden in the little interactions and experiences of this new routine that you are still adjusting to. But they are already here, scattered all around you, and you are walking on them without really realising it, not feeling them, their weight and presence. With a head too far away to feel what your body is experiencing.

But that joy, enthusiasm, progress, victories and success are all already here and you are living them. Even if it will take some time to fuse them all and to create that dream that you once saw and chose.

Don't worry and don't rush. Or, at least, don't put on your own self the pressure and the responsibility of not seeing any concrete results yet. Don't blame so fastly your own self and your decisions, because you don't have any of them. You are doing well. You made the right choice. It just needs some more time and experience to see it all grow and bloom into something more. So for now, have patience, have more faith in your own self, in your decisions and your capabilities to make things work once you focus on them. And take your time truly doing it, immersing yourself in this new life that is manifesting in front of your eyes. Pay attention to every moment, every detail, every step that you take, realising how much actually is it, how much you are already accomplishing. And don't hide too much in your future or in your head. There is a whole life that you are living right here and now, and it needs you, your attention, care and appreciation. Because you did a lot to be here now, and it is not fair to your own self to don't enjoy it or trust it, choosing to listen only to those fears that overwhelm your mind.

p.s.

♡ Toss a coin to your reader

♡ Receive personal guidance from me

_

[thatfrailsoul]

– Receive guidance from me

Please read everything thoroughly ♡

pictures from pinterest → one, two, three

There are moments in which... Everything is just a little too much. Too much chaos or too much stagnation. Too many ideas or doubts. Too much pressure. There are moments in which it is so frustrating and scary to wait or try to decide, risking so much of what we managed to achieve so far. There are moments in which we just crave something clear, something direct and simple to help us find that peace. There are moments in which we hope for an answer, a message that is only for us, that can help and guide us through everything that is overwhelming us. So we pray, we hold onto that sign, that dream, that feeling, looking for someone that could explain to us their meaning... And so now, if you ever want or need, I can be the one to help you with it. With connecting with yourself, your heart and your mind. With asking those questions that you don't know how to say out loud. With finding their answers, and understanding them without any if or but. With finding your own safe and right path.

– So... how it works?

– In each reading, personal or here on my blog, my focus will be always first and foremost you, your safety and wellbeing. Mental, emotional and physical. No matter the topic or the situation that we are talking about, I will look at it always from your perspective. What you need to know or understand. What is the best for you and what you should do to stay safe and on the right for you path. And this means that in my readings I will always prioritise you over others in your life or that are of your interest. Willingly not diving into their life, intentions, feelings or reasons - more than necessary for your guidance and what you need and can know - and intentionally not nourishing your focus on anyone but your own self and your journey and growth.

– For every guidance you must choose only one situation/ topic that you would like the reading to be about. Prioritizing what is challenging you the most now and what you feel like you need the most help with. In case you have more than one situation that you would like to look at, you will need to request and pay for a separate reading for each one of them. In addition, you may not ask questions about death, pregnancy, legal, medical or health related situations, or about celebrities and fictional characters. As I'm here only to help you with understanding your own self and your world more, so you can make your own decisions and steps in life.

– In case you already did a reading with me, and you would like to receive once again guidance for the same situation or topic - unless there were some significative changes in the situation itself or how you feel about it - I will use my right to decline your request. Simply because by providing you guidance I'm meant to help you to move forward and make progress, learn and grow. Which is the complete opposite of making you pay again and again - nourishing your focus on the wrong things - for the answers that you already have and need only to truly hear and understand.

– This service is for entertainment purposes only, and it's not a substitute for medical, psychological or legal consultation. In the same way, you hold the responsibility for your own actions and decisions in your life, good or bad, and me, or the reading and this service, are not responsible for it in any way or form.

– Rather than dividing the readings based on the topics or having a set price, I prefer to decide it with you, based on your necessities and financial situation and possibilities. This way you can always be comfortable with the price you are paying, while also receiving the needed for you guidance.

– A refund is not possible, even if you change your mind before the date of our reading. A reading is something really serious and important, so I want you to be really mindful of your choice and take your time to be sure of your decision before paying, to avoid having regrets or spending your money uselessly.

– If you are interested in receiving personal guidance from me, or if you have some more questions about my service, you can message me here through my blog. And I will answer you as soon as I can, usually within 24 hours. This way we can talk it out, so you can be more sure about your decision and aware of all the details about how it works. Talking with you first will also help me understand your situation better so I can eventually give you a more suitable reading, or let you know if, for any reason, I can't or don't want to read for you.

– After we talked and when you are sure about your decision, and only after that, you will be able to book a reading with me and pay for it through my kofi page in the "tips" section.

– You will receive your reading within 3 days after we organised and confirmed everything. In case I have a lot of clients you will receive it a little later, but you will never need to wait for more than a week after paying me.

– The reading itself will be sent via email. The videos of the shuffle of the cards are not available, for storage reasons, but you will always receive the photos of all the cards that will deliver your message.

Lastly, please remember that personal guidance or not, you always hold the answers you need within yourself. And, while I do help you in understanding them better, you still can do it on your own. So if you don't feel sure, and especially if you have a challenging financial situation, don't feel pressured in paying me or anyone else for help. But instead take some time for yourself, slow down. And listen closely to your heart, that you can always trust. ♡

_

[thatfrailsoul]

– Salt is kind of magical, and so are you

(some piroshki I made with my mom a few days ago and that sent me into the overthinking of the salt.)

In the last few days, for pure coincidence, I took again and again bites from unfinished and unseasoned food - they were waiting for that final touch of salt.

And in every single case, as soon as I tried them with salt, I had this simple but amazing realisation of how much salt actually matters. How it makes the food just taste so much better, filling my eyes with tears of enjoyment... A little tiny detail that made me spiral in so many thoughts.

For example, how long it has been since the last time I actually tasted the food I was eating, taking a moment to feel every ingredient and what they added to the dish.

Or, also, how we are probably just like the salt. A tiny sparkle that is convinced of having only one thing that they do and contribute to this world or the lives of those around them, without realising their actual worth and power. The power to make a single moment instantly much better, so much that the others catch themselves regretting of not noticing us, appreciating us or connecting with us sooner, and hoping to have a chance to do it more in the future.

So, in conclusion, you are the salt. Do with this information whatever you want.

_

[thatfrailsoul]

Divination Jukebox! I have too many songs in mind now that I think about, but I'll go with this one!

Chance in Coin || Chants of Curse by Pengosolvent

https://youtu.be/CPXs9zQuCoQ?si=wINSvjWygCfWP40s

I'm very fond of the beginning and the strange, operatic voice samples (i might send another song. I had one I was completely addicted to for over a week recently lol)

There is something so hauntingly beautiful about this song… I've never heard anything of this genre or like this before, but it is soo addicting, even soothing in a sense. I just can feel that it will create a very unexpected and deep reading. So I'm genuinely grateful that you’ve suggested this one!

It took me quite a while to arrive to your song, but I will start to work on it today, and in a few days it will be finally ready. I promise that as soon as I will reopen the divinatory jukebox I will be more prepared and organised better, so I won't ever ever make you wait for so long. (And I hope that one day I will see one of your suggestions once again in my inbox).♡

_

[thatfrailsoul]

– Lately, the weather...

Is that kind that makes you want to make your steps a little more slowly, breathe a little more deeply, asking others if they would like to go for a walk... And, honestly, I love it. I missed it so much.

(an entry from my diaries)

_

[thatfrailsoul]

– I think I dreamed you into life

Divinatory Jukebox: “I Knew I Loved You”, by Savage Garden.

tarot pick a pile reading → one, two, three

Those eyes, those smiles, that sweetest smell once they let you closer… A face that you could recognise in an instant, even though it never was caressed by your gaze before. A voice that you can almost hear, as you are walking through this life, one step after another, devouring the distance and the time keeping you apart… All of it, every single detail, feels more like a memory, rather than imagination and desire to find that someone. It seems more like a fate that is taking a little longer, a secret that you somehow know and await to manifest. Something that, each day and instant, is whispering to you sweetly about all those moments your hearts are destined to share. But there is a missing peace in there somewhere. A detail they don't mention, leaving it all to your imagination and dreams. But it is so important… to know when and where your encounter will be, and what to do in the meantime… isn't it?

There is a little spot in your heart, buried under all the emotions, all the memories of people that were once there, and those that stayed… There is a little corner that is still not filled, that nothing and no one really fits. Almost like it's being saved for someone special, without you knowing a thing. A little surprise, a gift, something so precious that the life itself can’t resist the urge to give you clues and signs about them. About that one person that stands out so much among the others, with so many threads of destiny that are pulling you closer. A lover, a friend, a mirror of your own soul, made of the same stardust that birthed you into this world... There is someone, out there, that you still need to meet, and yet every inch of you already knows them. You feel them, you know they are coming, that your paths will soon cross each other.

So slow down. Calm your breath, your heart, your mind. And pay attention, listen closely, to the message that the pile that is calling you has for you right now.

p.s. There is a way to keep the messages of the universe much closer. A little box of treasure with all the guidance, all the advices, secrets we discover… A way to find my readings right in your inbox, where they are safe, all yours, and you can savour each word with your own rhythm, whenever your heart wants it… Through my free newsletter to which you can subscribe right here, obviously only if you want to.♡

p.p.s. Which pile you felt called by? Let me know, or follow me for more readings like this one.♡

– Pile One,

the stork: the two of cups and the three of coins

The voice of your tired and lonely mind is so loud lately… So motivated and persistent to let you know that it will never happen. That there aren't people that are so perfect as you imagine them, not even you compare to the one you envision… The one you feel so real only when you dream, eyes closed, with heavy breathing, as you search for them through your unconsciousness, the only light among all those nightmares, and the only place they seem to live in…

One after another, so many faces, voices, words… and not even one seems to be the one. So you are starting to think that perhaps you should just accept it and stay still, finding enough in those that are around you… But then again you are overwhelmed, like in a fever, with all the details about them that you already love so deeply, that start to feel more and more like memories, and not only what you dream of, not something that is so easy to forget and give up.

There is a constant battle within you. The cold reality and pure need to feel that warmth of a connection that is deeper. The mind that is ready to give up, that feels ashamed and even guilty for nurturing for so long a dream that never became more real… And a heart that knows, somehow, that it is possible, that it is worth to believe in and wait for it, that you can't be the only one to long for such connection, and thus you should be able to find it, to find them, sooner or later.

But even if it is so… There is no need to consume yourself so much for it. To fight so strongly, to exhaustion, for something that will either way find you, even if you will not do every single thing to make sure it happens, or perhaps to force it.

This soul, whoever they are, or whenever they are now in this moment… they exist, you know? They are living, breathing, moving through their days and journeys. They are writing their own story, their chapters, their slow or fast moments. And with each decision, with each step, they are following that thread that pulls their hand tenderly but so reassuringly, showing them the right and safest way. A way to find you.

So please breathe. There is no time running out, chances missed, or obstacles not avoided. There is nothing between you if not just life. The journeys, the stories, that you need to live on your own first. Before sharing another one with them, side by side, exactly like you hope for. There are just things that you need respectively to experience, to create. The things that only you or them can manifest. You can’t do everything on your own, speed up the process, find the right path, and run right away to that person. And it makes you feel hopeless, just because you think that these things are the only ones that could give you reassurance, be those signs that everything is going well, that this dream is still possible… But you don't realize, in this frustration, how many confirmations and signs are here already. In you and in the reality around you. In your growth, in your confidence, in your courage to be honest about whom you want to walk on your journeys with, and the confidence to say it out loud, to not settle for someone that you don't feel right and aligned for the life you want now. You see only connections that won’t work, people that leave, the emptiness around you. And not the space that they are making for someone else, right by your side, giving you the real chance to welcome them in your life once you will find each other.

Give them and yourself some time, some space to live your separate stories. Focus on your journey, on the things that you desire to experience, to do, to make, but put on hold just because there isn't someone to witness it, to enjoy them with you, to appreciate or admire it the same way you do. Don't bottle them down, don't write those endless lists of what you would do once you have someone to share it with. Just do it for yourself, now, when you the most want it.

Follow your mind, not only the heart's calling. Give it something to love and to be nurtured by too, now, so it can calm down and stop being so judgemental of your heart’s desires and whispers about someone that is not here. Fill your life with joy, with appreciation, with true presence. With healing and growth. And those things that you will finally feel and live, not those that you need to, but those that you want to, will be the ones to guide you faster to the one you are hoping to find one day. Because the things that connect you are not the choices about the work, the place where you live, how you dress, talk, or look at others. How many things you want to do with that someone, or how many plans you have prepared for the moment you will be in front of each other. No, a connection like this goes right through your hearts, somewhere deeper, stitching you through all those things that make you both bloom with love and joy, not for someone else, but for the world around you.

p.s.

buy me a tomato 🍅 (if you want to)

– Pile Two,

the garden: the wheel of fortune and the stars

It is so interesting to have you here… Glimpsing silently into a story that is not really about you, but that you would like so much to live just to don't feel so strange and different for not having it… For not having that love, that someone special to run towards.

You are here, reading these words, looking for the answers to the questions that you don't even ask yourself, just because others made you feel like it is wrong, to find enough in just your self, in not needing someone else’s love to surround you and nourish you to help you heal and grow.

But… You are not wandering lonely and pointlessly around now. You are living. Experiencing this life, these journeys. You are becoming more and more you, with each step. Shedding the past, healing the wounds, creating space for the real you to bloom. And... it is not useless, it is not wasting your time, being too isolated, egocentric or antisocial. Just because you are not looking obsessively for someone to hold your hand, to warm you up, to love you… Just because you are finding it all in your own self, looking first in your own eyes, trying to understand that soul in the reflection of a mirror, instead of seeking someone else's gaze in hopes to find in there any answers.

So many of us heal, discover our true self, through the connections with others. Through their opinions, their actions, their decisions… And how they makes us feel, what they force us to feel, not leaving any room for hiding or second-guessing. And it is right. In the good and in the bad. It is normal and needed to have someone that shows us who we are, how much we are deserving of love, through giving it to us or by denying it... But it is also okay to understand it all on your own. To feel all of this within, growing and healing through a connection that is much deeper, hidden inside, and not somewhere out there, in another soul that you need to meet in order to realize it.

There is no need for judgement nor any forcing, there is no need for you to wait to feel and create precious moments just because so many souls want to do it with someone. You can do it on your own. You can be the love of your life, the closest and dearest soul. You can be the one that you share the deepest bond with. The one that you will never be not mesmerized by. The one that you could never forget, never stop believing in. The one you can't wait to meet, some day, looking in the eyes of who you will become, feeling their love and understanding overwhelming your soul.

You can do it. Even if some dream of a perfect love, or others are longing for a true friend… You can do it differently, you can feel the closest to the person you will become one day, feeling complete already, not waiting nor looking for anyone else. Because this is who you are, this is what your soul truly wants. Who it is truly looking and calling for. And it is more than enough.

p.s.

buy me a tomato 🍅 (if you want to)

– Pile Three,

the scythe: the page of cups and the six of swords

In a sense… they already saved you. Not by being in your life, right here by your side. Not by holding you, hugging you, protecting you from this world. Not by whispering to you sweet and comforting words… But by just being a possibility. The chance itself that there is someone, somewhere out there, who would understand you right after the first glance, feel you after the first smile… It was enough to save you. To save yourself in the meantime.

It might not be ‘’ideal’’, the healthiest, the most romantic and heroic way to survive… But it is the reality. In which, sometimes and for some reason, we do feel alone and vulnerable, in danger even, among the people that we trust our heart with, after they scratch and crush it... And we do need to hope that there is someone different out there, to give us the strength to go through it, when our own love is not unfortunately enough to make it.

There is nothing strange or shameful in this. In giving yourself hope, someone to believe in, even if you don't know yet the sound of their voice. And in surviving for them, for a chance to meet them and be with them. In looking for them in the eyes of others, sometimes believing that you finally found them, convincing yourself a little too much perhaps, just to be hurt once more, when you didn't expect it anymore… It is fine. It is all okay. You are not delusional, your head is not too much in the clouds, your heart is not too romantic for the harsh reality of how the relationships are becoming now. You are not too naive because of your belief, or too egocentric when you choose it over some poorly made promises of those that never deserved to come so closely.

We all have someone, someone that we connect with so deeply, understand so naturally, so easily as breathing. And that's it. This is the truth. But some people believe it and some don't. Some know it from the beginning, others forget about it or refuse to hope for it. And some… learn and understand it amidst and despite everything. Exactly like you did. Choosing to focus on this thought, on this feeling, rather than the bad endings of the stories that everyone is so fast to believe in, surrendering to it.

They exist. Many of them. All the souls that you will feel finally safe and at peace with. And each your breath, each your step and decision, is already guiding you to them, exactly like it is supposed to be. You just need to remind it yourself, for a moment. Now that the life seems a little too stagnant, a little more cold and lonely, with all those judgemental voices screaming so loudly. Don't look at them, don't listen. Turn around, focus your gaze on your direction, your goals, the things that you believe in. Let them stay behind, becoming more and more indistinguibile, in their assumptions, and inability to have peace when someone still has hope for being loved and appreciated. It's their way of thinking, their experiences, their choices. They don't influence you, or your own journey. Nor the one of the souls that are looking for you, as you dream about them, hoping.

p.s.

buy me a tomato 🍅 (if you want to)

_

[thatfrailsoul]

– Tea bags, old glasses case, and cucumbers

First used as a bookmark. Second repurposed as a little pen holder. Third just a representation of the obsession of these days. ♡

_

[thatfrailsoul]

– It's like learning to fly

Divinatory jukebox: "One step at a time", by Jordin Sparks

tarot pick a pile reading → one, two, three

We do so much for it, to reach it… We grab an old and trembling stool, and we get up on it, even if it is ready to collapse with us at any time, menacing us every second with that kind of scary crunch. We hold onto the shoulders of others, even if they are absolutely sure that there are better and safer ways to do it. We stretch our arms until it literally hurts, pointing our feet, so frustrated to see our fingers only slightly touching it… We do so much, and for so long. To the point that we start to forget why we are really doing it, why we need it so much, why we just can’t move on without finding that one thing, without holding it in our hands.

There is a little reminder somewhere, in a forgotten drawer, in a list of things to do or to achieve hidden in your notes, at the back of your mind in the memory of that moment full of excitement and inspiration where this idea, this journey and adventure began… There is somewhere that reason, that motive, behind your courageous first step. Protected from all this frustration, stagnation, lack of progress. Unreachable by those judgemental and mean words, by those failures that you can’t stop thinking of… And now, when you least expect it, when you think that you don't need nor want it, it is coming again to the surface, falling out of that dusty box, touching your cold hand hidden in your pocket. It is returning to you to remind you of why you started this and why you should continue to hold on.

P.s. tomorrow is my birthday 🎂🎈

And I'm so glad I managed to post a reading, especially such a sweet one, closer to this date! This blog, little by little, became my safe space. And even if we are not so many, I really wanted to share a little of my happiness with you today (and tomorrow). So I wish you truly peaceful and good days. A comfy bed. A full belly. A clearer mind and warmer heart. And moments of peace and rest between one "adventure" and another. Thank you for being here. And thank you for existing in my same lifetime. ♡

– Pile One,

the house: the four of coins and the justice

picture from → pinterest

A shared room. Borrowed clothes, toys, books. A gentle but inescapable hand that guides you, shows you the right direction for your steps… There wasn't really that much time or space for you to grow into the one you’re supposed to. Not when you so often fitted someone else’s shoes, someone else's story.

It took quite a lot of courage to slow down, to slip your hand out of theirs, to look away from where they were guiding you. To try to create your own path, that no one ever walked, perhaps only tried. With your own hands getting dirty for the first time in a while, and becoming tired of the hard work and patience it needs in order to be cleared out.

It took so much of you that, once you found yourself in it, in all this dirt, stones, brambles… Once the night came down, and the darkness surrounded you… You couldn't ignore that tiredness. The one that inevitably transformed that ardently desired liberty of choice, all those possible steps, so many directions… In just responsibilities, in risks and dangers around you, in fears within you that you didn't have any chance to escape from.

And it is not so easy to get up again, at all. At each uncertain step you remember more strongly all their words and premonitions, on how it will never work, on how you don't have any idea of what you are doing, or how you will come back sooner or later, begging for their protection and support.

But even as you start to doubt and overthink, get caught up in all those memories and feel too heavy to get up and keep on moving… You are not letting yourself die from hunger, from cold, from loneliness. Your fingers caress the earth and nature around you, meeting and recognising all the things that can work for now, that can be enough for a while, that can help you survive tonight.

Slowly, uncertainty, but you are finding all you need, and even what you never hoped for. You are transforming that little spot in which you felt exhausted and trapped in, convincing yourself that you already failed… In a place that is safe for you for this moment, a place where you can rest, as you survive and in the meantime become more used to it, more calm and stronger.

And even if it is only temporary, only for now, so unstable and frail, it is still something. Something to start from tomorrow when the sun will rise and you will see better, when you will be able to recognise what is it that you really need more of, to get through the cold nights and scary storms.

It could've been better to have it all figured out and prepared before the adventure. The map, the food, something to keep you warm and some company… But there is magic in doing it this way too, living it one day, one moment after another. There is the unexpected, the surprises, the mistakes that you will learn from. There is the experience, the knowledge and confidence that an already walked path couldn't give you, no matter how bumpy the road could be.

It is different from what you thought, and perhaps indeed too similar to how they said it would be… But not for this reason it is wrong or impossible, to go through it.

You are doing much better than you fear now. Exactly because it is something so new, so lonely for you. And yet you are still making progress. You are still finding in it something that is worth it. The silence that is not disturbed by any angry or frustrated voice, only your steps and the world around you. A beautiful view that you can enjoy and appreciate for as long as you want to, without anyone rushing you. A pace that you can change whenever you want because it is only up to you. To rest or to keep on going.

And not matter how simple or how little… it is still something. Something that gives you much more than any other story others wanted you to live. It is yours. Only yours. Completely. And it is worth it.

That stubbornness is still right here. That desire to do on your own, your own choices, your own mistakes and victories, yours and not of someone else that never understood your soul. And this, this still counts as a reason to hold onto that dream, even if its not on the horizon yet, even if only your heart knows what is it that you are searching for.

p.s.

buy me a tomato 🍅 (if you want to)

– Pile Two,

the child: the three of cups and the emperor

picture from → pinterest

It wasn't only for the goal, for that fishing line and reward... wasn't it? This journey called you much sooner, before you even knew what achievement and success was, what having recognition and admiration meant… You met this inspiration and passion when you had so little in your life, so few things that you could hold in your tiny hands, but that meant much more than anything you have now does. Every step, every creation, was so full of colours of excitement and curiosity. Of so many feelings that were all that you ever needed or wanted from your experiences. Just the joy and warmth of doing them…

But it is not enough anymore now, isn't it? Not for your mind that grew up so much, became so mature, so serious, so responsible. Not for that part of you that just can’t allow yourself to do something, to invest so much time and energy in it, if it does not serve any other purpose than just enjoyment. It would have been beautiful, and much easier if it was enough… But this cruel world and your reality does not accept it, does not reward it. Something that you do simply for yourself. It wants results, motives, goals and achievements. It wants a worth that is more concrete and material, otherwise is only making you waste time, putting you in danger, without having anything to back you up.

And although it is not your fault, that it doesn't work this way for you personally, that it is not giving you those more material results and returns… It still hurts a little, when you start to think that, maybe, it is you who wasn't good enough to make it work better, to not force you to say goodbye to something that you carried in your heart for so long, betraying that little you who was so sure that it will be a lifelong bond.

But… Do you really need to leave it behind? To put it aside, in a little angle that will become more full with time with all the things that you renounced just because they didn't work out enough? Making it more and more difficult to reach them, useless even to try, in those few but still present moments in which your heart will desire to enjoy them one more time?

It might not serve the same purpose you hoped for. It might not be something so ever present, a foundation for your wealthy and good life. It might not be completed in years to come, touched only from time to time in those nostalgic afternoons… But it is still worth it. To keep it in your life. To leave it as that safe space and moments to create, to enjoy things just for the sake of it, to be you again once in a while. The you that doesn't need to be so stressed and so serious about your every action. The you that doesn't need always to calculate the convenience of doing something in order to allow yourself to spend time with it. The you that still values and protects what they feel in the process, and not only its outcome.

p.s.

buy me a tomato 🍅 (if you want to)

– Pile Three,

the scythe: the king of cups and the four of wands

picture from → pinterest

Even if it seems so hopeless, so useless, so needed to just let it go… It hurts much deeper, much stronger. It stings right into your heart for which this meant more than just "a lot". No matter what one says, or how the reality is now, it always feels like there is genuinely more to it. That there is something that your anxious and frustrated mind, or the judgemental ones of others, just don't see now. Something that will reveal itself if you just wait a little longer, hold on to it a little stronger.

And it is indeed like this. There is something powerful and meaningful enough to manage to slow you down, when you are trying to convince yourself to say to it goodbye… But rather than being in the thing itself, in this journey, passion or idea… It is more in you, in what you can still do to make it work, how you can do it. The options, ways and opportunities that are hidden in your own mind and attitude.

A lot of time had passed since you started this journey, since you decided to give it a try. But at the same time so little happened, you are still a child that is learning to walk on this path. You made your steps always in the same direction, confidently following the signed road on a map that you once found. And you did so while doing your best, managing everything in the perfect and right for you way. But who knows how long ago that map was traced, who first found that path, or how long it took them, how many things they sacrificed or how many others were gifted to them by those who they love just to manage to arrive to the end of that road…

You are different, just because you are you. And by the time you arrived here, so many things have changed since you hid that map in a pocket of your mind. It did gift you the knowledge and awareness that it can be done, that the place and time in which your life is so full of joy and wellness thanks to something you love is indeed possible… But it can’t show you every single step. That, is something that you can only understand and choose once you are already in the middle of your journey. Exactly like right now, when you are starting to feel so much as you go through it.

Those emotions, even negative, are not necessarily a warning, a sign that it is not it, that you need to stop. They would have meant it, but then letting go of it and forgetting it would've been so much easier… No, they mean something else to you, to your journey. They are urging you to write a different story from the one you once read. They are whispering to you new expressions, new plots, new ways.

It is up to you now, actually always, to choose how to go about the things you face and live as you go through them. And from time to time, you will need a little reminder about it, a little suggestion to your mind that starts to stress too much when it doesn't see clear answers and guidelines. A little message from your heart that it is okay to try to do things differently, instead of quitting them all together. There is no need to be so categorical. And there is no rush to make it work before the sun sets.

p.s.

buy me a tomato 🍅 (if you want to)

_

[thatfrailsoul]

Hi @thatfrailsoul,

I want to suggest two songs for Divination Jukebox to you.

I find it interesting to can suggest songs for your readings.

I have two songs on my mind that I want suggest to you.

First is One Step At A Time by Jordin Sparks. I always listen to this song whenever I want to feel enthusiastic again to chase my dreams.

Second is I Knew I Loved You by Savage Garden. I think it will be great if you can do readings based on this song about how to be a person that can love someone or know that someone maybe is his/her soulmate before met them. The struggle and what they must do to overcome that.

Thank you. Hope you like it.

It took me perhaps too much time… But I'm finally listening to your songs, as I'm shuffling my consumed but beloved tarot deck. ♡ I actually listened to the songs you suggested as soon as I found them in my inbox, and I couldn’t wait to thank you for introducing me to them! ‘’One step at a time’’, in particular, is the one I can’t stop singing these days. I love how you can ‘’hear’’ her smile as she sings, it just warms my heart and fills me with peaceful joy with each verse. This one, also, will be the next and first reading I will do based on your suggestion. Followed right by ‘’I knew I loved you'’!

I truly appreciated you giving me insight about your feelings connected to these songs, it is always helpful for me, especially as I'm preparing the base for the reading. So thank you so much once again.♡

Between work and studies it took me a while to restart with the requests for the divinatory jukebox, but in the next weeks it will be all about you and your songs.♡

_

[thatfrailsoul]

– It is the eighth of march, the international women's day.

And this is my little tribute to my precious mother and her beautifully chaotic little art studio and atelier.♡

[thatfrailsoul]

Do you offer paid readings?

picture from → pinterest

Unfortunately at the moment no, as for now I'm focusing on catching up with the requests and suggestions for my divinatory jukebox. But I reopen them from time to time! If you would like to have a reading with me, you can for now follow me, so you'll be one of the first to know once I will offer them again.♡

_

[thatfrailsoul]

– And I don't want your pity, I just want somebody near me

Divinatory jukebox : "Nobody", by Mitski

tarot pick a pile reading → one, two, three

It really does feel like gambling. The people, the connections, the bonds between us. The search for the right moments, right ways, right rhythms… that takes all the attention, all the feelings, leaving the bits of relationships that we manage to create to be just a mirage. A fever dream we go through with so many complications, anxiety, doubts and fears. Rushing us to the ending, to those cold goodbyes full of tears. And the only thing remaining is to wonder. Did we really experience it? Was it really possible for something like this to happen to begin with? And will this fate chase us down again, forcing us to relive it?

Connections are never easy to begin with. There are too many details and requirements, too much of that complex and at times frustrating humanity in them. Too many to make it work as easily… But we don't help ourselves either. Our mind, our judgement, our anger and frustration that are so easily thrown right back at us, at our own actions and decisions. The answers and explanations that we don't want to hear. The feelings that we don't want to feel because of the fear that it will make it all too real…

This reading is that one message that you are not reading, pretending that you never received it. That truth, that motive or the explanation, that you don't want to make yours. Something that you need to accept, to keep in mind, to learn or do… Something that this world is trying to tell you, with your whole castle of walls around you, hoping that you will allow it to come through. Hoping that you will take a moment to stay in silence and breathe. Listening to your inner voice, that will guide you to that one pile that hides your message in it.

{ Follow me for more readings, reblog or let me know in the comments which pile you chose - I'm really curious.♡ }

P.s. A little question for you ♡

– Pile One,

the clouds: the queen of cups and the knight of wands

picture from → pinterest

Your way of feeling, of loving… of showing it, never was the problem. It never depended on how much you changed for someone, or how much you embraced your own true self. It never was important that you did it for them, how you did it, even if they claimed that it was everything. It never really made any difference, not when all that you did and tried was something that they expected from someone else... Yes, every single one of them.

Every person, every relationship, every connection that faded right before your eyes... They said they wanted it all from you, not realising that they needed it from themselves. Because we do project, we do confuse the things, we do misunderstand the reason behind what we feel. And we almost never admit it, never think that it is only something ours. We cry at what we don't receive from others, what we don't find, what we don't feel. But in reality is at us that we are screaming, not understanding how is it possible that someone that is supposed to genuinely and unconditionally love us, can’t simply make us feel safe and enough within, to the point that we need to seek it in others, begging for it…

But, ironically enough, this story is not about you. You were only the witness of it, again and again, so many times in all these years. You were the person that was used as a mirror, condemned to listen to so many tones in their voices, to see so many contrasting emotions on their faces, thinking that they were looking at you, but not realising that they weren't really seeing you, that they weren't talking to you.

And amidst all of it, you hid yourself. You closed up. Seeking that moment of silence and apparent calm, that space to reflect and think. You tried to understand, to really listen to all those words that are still right here in your mind, hurting you every time you thought you forgot them. You looked for that truth, for that explanation on what you really did wrong, how it could've happen so many times, in so many different situations, with so many different people across the time. But you never found it. So, in doubt, you just chose to never really come back. To not expose your apparently dangerous self to all those innocent souls. To not express your feelings, not through actions nor words, just to not burden them all. Those poor ones that might be forced to endure your wrong type of love.

But it is ridiculous. You don't have so much power over others. No one has such power, except when it is used on our own selves. You can’t be possibly the reason of every disgrace or conflict. And you know it. You are just not able to remind it to yourself, being under all the garbage of their own internal problems that they throw at you without any shame.

It is indeed a too much of a coincidence that it happened so many times with so many different people. But you are not the one that connects them. Or to be exact, not in a way that you convinced yourself you do.

Your love, your ways, just who you are, are not the ones to cause so much distress and pain, you are not the one to broke them down, to destroy their walls and stab them. You are just someone who has a gentle and tender enough way to make them all feel safe. Safe to get closer. Safe to trust. Safe to open up more and more, without realising that all that they were ignoring and bottling down up until now, will simply explode, reversing all their anger on those that are with them, on those that care and want to help them.

You are just that kind, that understanding and patient. Enough to assure others that you won't allow anyone to hurt them so much. That you won’t allow even your own hands to scratch them, always ready to correct yourself and change just to protect their heart. But you can’t always do it. You can’t heal the wounds that they themselves are opening up. You can’t find a cure for an illness that they themselves aren't aware of where it is coming from. You can’t understand it yourself, and then make them understand that you are not the one that they are resenting so much. Not when you both are so resilient in not accepting it.

It is a heavy fate, the one of making others feel so accepted and safe that they don't hold anything back, not even things that have nothing to do with you and what you can make work… But it is not a reason to hide yourself. To keep you in the shadows, never again crossing other paths. It is not your fault that you love strongly and sincerely enough to make others want to escape their traumas, their pains and fears, just for a chance to feel and see this world the same way you did. And it is not your responsibility, the fact that they don't know how to control it, how to sort all of it, once it crashes down upon them.

The only thing you do is love. In all the ways and forms. All you do is being caring, understanding, open… So why would you change it when they see it as something else, as too much or not enough, just because it is different from the love they got used to? Let them go, let them pass by, if they can’t feel satisfied, if they want more as soon as you are willing to give them what others never wanted. But don't do so convinced of the fact that there won’t be someone that will see in you enough. Someone that would feel the same and express it in the same way. Someone that will find you, as soon as you make a step out of the punishment of loneliness that you put yourself in.

– Pile Two,

the birds: the king of cups and the two of cups

picture from → pinterest

You crave them, those feelings. The understanding, the acceptance, the complicity, the intimacy… And yet you force yourself to stop before, every single time you catch a glimpse of it, of the possibility to have it.

Can it be called self sabotage? Self defence? Trauma? Perhaps. But at its core is only the uncertainty of what it will lead to. The wander about whether you will truly find someone that understands you, if they will be really so aligned with you like it seems to? If their thoughts will follow the same flow of energy… Or if their mask of appearance will come down, revealing a wolf in the sheep’s skin, ready to devour you and your every feeling.

It just seems to you like a promise of a heartbreak, long before even connecting. All the time spent together, the little moments that were created, every shy way to get to know each other better… only for them to become someone you need to escape from. It doesn't seem worth it, it doesn't seem safe. It feels just like another losing game destined to leave you feeling played.

But… what else can be a stronger protective or revealing spell than our own words? What else can really shows us who we are and who is standing in front of us? What can be powerful and intimate enough to guide us right to others people core, to their soul, overcoming every obstacle they put in front just to protect themselves from others? And how else someone could ever find us, recognise us, without never listening to the voice of our heart, without seeing what our mind hides?

It is a risk, it is a long and intimidating chess game. But it is not at all worthless, not when it gives you a chance to know your opponent. Perhaps discovering that they are not playing to make you lose in your battle, but only to have a chance to be beside you, to get close to you, through a dance of lunges and parries, until one of you loses all the armour and weapons, remaining vulnerable in front of the other… and seeing in their gaze only admiration and the desire to hold your hand to help you get up stronger.

You are protecting yourself, hiding, making silent and fast steps in the shadows, hoping that no one will notice you, no one will reach out for you and pull you right under the painfully strong and inquisitive light. But while containing your breath, feeling that you only want to come back to your own safe bubble... you also, sometimes, slow down and stutter. When you see someone so bright that it is impossible to not cling to them with your eyes. Someone with a voice so sweet, a laughter so genuinely joyful and free, that you keep hearing them inside your mind for days to come, unable to forget what it sounded like. Someone so caring, so gentle and delicate in their ways, that you can't help but observe them from your hiding spot, admiring them like an angel that somehow survived amidst these mean and angry souls. You still do it, even if you tell yourself that it doesn't matter, that it doesn't mean anything because you will never again come out and get closer to them. You still do it, even if later you tell yourself that it was probably all false, a well played role in this life’s theatre. You still admire them, the people. Their ways, their character, their interests. You still feel that desire to come closer, to see their eyes and the whole universes inside them.

So why don't you just do it? Why don't you let yourself free from this cage that you put yourself in, convinced that it would protect you? Why don't you just connect, not for the future, not for a chance, not for the outcome… but only for that single moment? Because connection is not only about the bonds we create, the relationships that we later have. It is not only about if one thing was true or a lie, a promise or a betrayal to our heart. It is also that one moment, that one second, in which you feel that admiration, that excitement, that desire for more. It is that complicity, those smiles, those bright and joyful eyes. It is that interest, or attraction, or even playfulness caused by all the outcomes that those moments can create and make possible now, make them real.

You are not only protecting yourself from the worst, the most dangerous, the most painful moments… but from those that can make you feel safe and whole too. Those that could teach you, inspire you, guide you. Those that could bring those emotions and colours to a life that is now becoming a little too silent, too heavy in the emptiness they are forcing on your heart.

Make that step forward, allow others to see you, to hear you. Allow them to get to know you as you connect with them. Not just for those relationships that you could create and that already overwhelm your mind with all the things you should fear and worry about… But for you two. Those versions of you and them in this exact moment, so innocent and genuine. That don't have any fault. That didn't yet do anything bad, if not feeling called by another soul.

– Pile Three,

the birds: the eight of coins and the seven of wands

picture from → pinterest

You welcomed them in. Every single one of them. So many souls that you courageously connected with. So many minds that you genuinely understood. So many hearts that you devotedly took care of… No matter what it took, no matter how difficult at times it was. How often you felt torn apart, consumed, by their lives and stories, remaining with so little patience, strength and courage to take care of yourself, of your days and journeys…

There wasn't anything that was too hard, too much to do for them. There wasn't anyone that didn't deserve more attention, more patience, even as you were bleeding because of them. It felt as normal and necessary as breathing, to take care of them, to defend them… even from your own self, when their voices raised in accusation of your love being too suffocating, your desire to help and care, too much.

One after another they changed their mind, their appreciation, their gratefulness for what you did for them, for your way to be and care… And from being cherished and known as someone who is just so caring and loving, one day, you became someone who no one wanted anymore, not so close to them.

They knew better, they were doing everything right, and your suggestions or worries weren't anymore so needed, they became advices no one asked and apprehension no one wanted to be the focus of. They all became mature, independent, and strong enough to face this world on their own. Forgetting thanks to whom they were able to grow and learn so much, who was there by their side every time they'd fall, even if it was difficult for your own self to stand tall as you were holding them.

And while you couldn't force yourself to be angry at their confidence and growth, you also couldn't ignore the fact that it wasn't only this, there was annoyance and resentment too… for the aspects and ways of you that they used to love, choose and look up at you for. And for a heart that is genuine as yours, who can’t and doesn't want to see the bad in those that you love… it is simply confusing. A change so sudden in their behaviour and preference for you and who you are supposed to be. And so many of their voices, of whom used to beg for you to be more closer, that now ask you with anger and frustration why you are here, so ever present?

You can't understand it unless you are in their mind. And they won't tell you what happened either… Because for them the only one to change was you, now that all that they asked for became too much and not anymore needed for them. So you took a step back. Became more silent, more reserved. Not because you wanted to, because you were shy or afraid of being more… But simply because it seemed what all of them wanted. A connection that is only superficial, without any bits of true bond in it, more distanced, more cold. And, just to be sure, you did the same with others too, those that still didn't had a chance to get to see more of you, receive your attention and love, and now will never do. Because you can’t know if they will truly appreciate you or if, apparently, they'll only use you.

But is it really the right thing to do, the right solution? The one to condemn and treat someone coldly, because of another person that actually deserved it? Is it right to ignore those that want to be closer, just because someone else once didn't stay longer? To don't help those that feel so lost and confused, even when every inch of your soul wants to hold them tightly and show them how to go through it?

You are compassionate, you are gentle, you are caring. You want and need to be this way genuinely, without any expectation for others. You are that kind of person that is healing this world, taking care of it, helping us grow with your love and knowledge and experience. And yet you are forcing yourself to become like others, colder, distanced, not interested in what someone feels or goes through. You are trying to change your character, the way you are, the things that you are devoted to and your morals… And because of what? Some people that got up so easily thanks to your support to think that they made it on their own. So naively, like a child who is rushing to show you how well they go on that bike, not seeing that hand that safely holds them.

They might not realise it now. They might continue to think like this for a really long time. But sooner or later they will look back and see all that you did for them, silently thanking you, hoping once again for your forgiveness. But in the meantime, you didn't do it only to have that back, didn't you? You were this way with them because this is who you are, not for them to appreciate it. So why stop being you because of those few? Why putting on pause who you are, not allowing yourself to be this way with anyone else, until those specific people realise their mistakes?

Be you. Be true. Be open and honest. Unlimited in the way you love and care, in the way you truly engage with others. Don't change yourself. Don't try to be someone else who you are not, don't present yourself to new souls this way, because you are much more. And there are so many people who will appreciate your ways and understand their worth.

_

[thatfrailsoul]

{ A message that I needed more than I thought. Thank you from the bottom of my heart ♡ }

To @thatfrailsoul

Who put the fire in your eyes, the steel in your spine? Your quiet resolve to learn and deepen your soul? Holding joy and sorrow with equal grace. It's scary that things break in this world, isn't it? Teacups, hearts, clouds. You're learning to see the world for what it is and what it could be. When you sit by your desk and let the pen dance over the pages of your journal, I consider myself lucky to witness your mind at work. Not just your mind, your heart works in tandem trying to figure out a portal to clarity and self-acceptance. You're a lover in a time of fear, how dangerous. How admirable. How free.

Nothing is perfect in this world, it's true. Because there are no mistakes, only the poetry of who you are. We're all more than one life and one moment. So, are you. My dear, look no further. You're the beginning and the journey. You're the spark, the wave, the question and answer.

Yours,

мир

[thatfrailsoul]

Hello, this is a feedback. Your last pick a card event really caught my attention and I read it. (I think it's better not to say which one. ☺️) You have written down everything I think about myself. This really surprised me. That's why I want to give you this feedback so that you can be known and recognized. I hope you reach great places ! 🩷

picture from → pinterest

You are so so sweet! Thank you so much for deciding to do it, to let me know. It is a little gesture but it is so important to me. I will hold your message tightly and close to my heart. 🩷

{ ♡ }