the-cheesiest-trashcan - Tumblr blog

[the-cheesiest-trashcan]

Just a gif to make your day better

[the-cheesiest-trashcan]

Every year it’s like

New year........... easter............ HALLOWEETHANKSGIVINGCHRISTMAS

[the-cheesiest-trashcan]

Peter Parker Talking To Yukio...

Peter: So your sword only has one blade? So it can only swing one way?

Yukio: *nods:

Thor: *flys in* HAHA MY HAMMER SWINGS BOTH WAYS

Thor: just like me *winks at them both*

[the-cheesiest-trashcan]

Stop 👏 telling 👏shapeshifters 👏 to 👏 shift 👏

It really annoys us to be stopped on the street and asked to be changed into a celebrity, no we don’t like impersonating Oprah

Stop 👏 telling 👏 vampires 👏 to 👏 smile!!!

[the-cheesiest-trashcan]

Oh hi there! How are you?

It’s nice to meet you! What’s your name?

Mines, wow-I’m-really-fucking-depressed

Hehe

Heh

Yeah I know my mom was a bit crazy

[the-cheesiest-trashcan]

*a tall man taps me on my shoulder, asking if I’m okay, I turn, time is in slow motion, the cereal I was stuffing in my pockets all fall out, tinkling on the hard wood floors, I open my mouth to tell him what I’m doing, but all that comes out is one sound*

“WhAt”

[the-cheesiest-trashcan]

My mom had to get a ultrasound and it was all black we couldent see anything

I said ‘the void is in you mom’

And the doctor deadass turned around and said ‘that’s what you get when you scan my head’

[the-cheesiest-trashcan]

Nothing says

“Hey I wanna kill myself today”

Like mixing red bull with your coffee and dumping the entire bag of sugar in too

[the-cheesiest-trashcan]

drinks fix everything

Angry? Smash back some tequela!

Tired? Have a nice hot coffee!

Accidentally sent your ex nudes? Try some arsenic!

[the-cheesiest-trashcan]

*11pm*

Brain: PLEASE SLEEP, YOU HAVENT SLEPT MORE THAN 5 HOURS SINCE THE SUMMER OF 89

me: “ughhh if I go to sleep in 5 more minutes I can look at aproximatly 40 more memes, then I can get 9 hours of sleep”

Me: *scrolls through Instagram for 30 seconds, looks at clock”

Me:.

..

.

Me: WHAT THE FUCK

Clock: *4am*

[the-cheesiest-trashcan]

Sometimes

Sometimes I just feel the need to scream stupid shit

So I went outside and yelled

“IM A FUCKING FLAMING HOT CHEETO!”

I’m now in jail for public disturbance

[the-cheesiest-trashcan]

Same

When you forget to close the sugar bag

Me: *pours sugar into my life sustaining coffee*

Sugarbag: *avalanche of ants cascade out and go everywhere*

Me: *debating what I should do, this is the only sugar and I NEED MY FUCKING COFFEE*

Me:.

..

…

….

Me: “hey, looks like I’ll have some extra ants with my coffee”