the-itzy-bitzy-spider

[the-itzy-bitzy-spider]

ThunderShield: a Steve Rogers/Thor rec list

There is a line in a classic Avengers Tower fic that I always remember when I think of ThunderShield: “Thor/Steve porn is surprisingly sweet and wholesome.”

While not every story on this list is either porn or wholesome, I think that's definitely a running theme.

They Could Never Be the Same by ABrighterDarkness (@alwaysabrighterdarkness) (Teen And Up Audiences | 1,234 words | No Archive Warnings Apply)

Summary: The situation at hand being a magically-miniaturized Steve Rogers who had hardly spoken a word but followed either Thor or Natasha around like a tiny shadow ever since they’d been released from Medical. SHIELD medical were, of course, every bit as shocked to have the Avengers show up en masse to deliver an apparently four-year-old Captain America to get checked over.

Grey by throttlegainwell (@throttlegainwell) (Explicit | 3,632 words | No Archive Warnings Apply)

Summary: Thor had failed so colossally that the bards of old would have composed epic tales of his blunders had they not all met untimely ends. Post-Infinity War. Half character/relationship study of Thor and Steve, half sex in a shower stall between grieving teammates.

Calisthenics by ipoiledi (@ipoiledi) (Explicit | 5,058 words | No Archive Warnings Apply)

Summary: Thor’s laughing. “I mustn’t tease you so,” he decides. Also available as a podfic read by sallysparrow017 (@laheylupin)

More below the cut!

A Fall From The Sky, A Dazzling Light by hafital (@hafital) (Explicit | 11,164 words | No Archive Warnings Apply)

Summary: What if Steve was found in the ice a year earlier? And, when Odin banished Thor from Asgard, the Bifrost sent him to Brooklyn, instead? A What If story.

Safe as Houses by NachoDiablo (Explicit | 3,038 words | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Summary: Steve takes a weekend cabin getaway. Thor stops by. Things get out of control. Steve's fine with that. Or: Werewolf Sex in the Woods

Tie Me Down, Set Me Free by AzureTiger (@azuretiger) (Explicit | 10,855 words | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Summary: It’s always important to maintain a healthy work-life schedule. Steve isn't very good at that, and needs to learn when to stop. People learn in different ways, and Thor is more than happy to give a hands-on lesson.

Stress Release by ToTheWolves (Explicit | 1,384 words | No Archive Warnings Apply)

Summary: Set during the first Avengers movie. Steve needs to blow off some steam. Thor can help.

Let's take it for a spin by TetrodotoxinB (@the-itzy-bitzy-spider) (Explicit | 3,663 words | No Archive Warnings Apply)

Summary: Thor's been off world for a while. Steve made really good friends with his hand in the meantime. Thankfully, Thor is now back, and he's brought Steve a surprise.

sorrow waited, sorrow won by napricot (Mature | 3,655 words | No Archive Warnings Apply)

Summary: “Get drunk with me. We can attempt to drown our sorrows in a veritable ocean of spirits!” says Thor, then he tips his head back and chuckles. The motion of his throat makes a droplet of sweat run down his neck. “Spirits of both kinds: alcoholic and ghostly.” Steve really hopes Thor’s not being literal about the ghosts, and he absolutely does not have the mental fortitude to ask right now. Instead, he asks, “There anything around here that can even get both of us drunk?” “There are still a few bottles of Asgardian mead that Stark stashed away. They might be the last such bottles in the galaxy, actually, now that Asgard is no more.” After all hope of regaining the Soul Stones is lost and Thanos is dead, Steve and Thor take what comfort they can with each other.

Thor: Ragnacock by Hades_the_Blingking (@swaglexander-the-great) (Explicit | 5,585 words | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Summary: Loki tries to prank Thor by making him fall in love with a toad. Steve gets in the way. What happens next probably won't surprise you.

Angel Among Men by ABrighterDarkness (@alwaysabrighterdarkness) (Teen And Up Audiences | 42,655 words | No Archive Warnings Apply)

Summary: “I dunno, Cap,” he said at last. “You’re not exactly human either, though, are you?” Steve had considered the man for a long moment and then shrugged. “Not anymore, I don’t think.” “That isn’t something that just changes, Rogers. Not on your scale. If you aren’t now then I’d wager the entire outcome of this war that you never were. Sounds about like you’ve always been this way. Just bigger now. Maybe this isn’t all wrong. Maybe you were all wrong before.” ________ Steve went into Doctor Erskine's experiment a man, he came out something other entirely. With the highly secretive nature of the serum and Doctor Erskine's assassination, Steve has to learn this new form the hard way. An avenging angel sent by God was what the old woman had called him. But what kind of angel burned everyone they touched, marked everyone they kissed for death? By the time SHIELD recovers him from the ice, Steve was certain that he was no angel, avenging or otherwise. It's lucky, then, that Thor has the patience necessary to prove to Steve that he's not the monster he fears he's become either.

Reparation by AzureTiger (@azuretiger) (Mature | 192,954 words | Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con)

Summary: It's Thor who falls from the rainbow bridge instead of Loki, and it's Thor tasked with bringing the Chitauri invasion about. He arrives to Earth a very different man, a more skilled warrior than he was, but wrong. Broken and made into something stronger. What will it take to stop him? What will it take to set him free?--Steve struggles to find his place in the 21st century, and to find himself. The Avengers seems to be a good starting point, though there are some things Fury can never give him. What Steve needs is someone who's had time stolen from them, too. And in helping each other, maybe they can help themselves in-turn.

The Mark of Asgard by Hades_the_Blingking (@swaglexander-the-great) (Explicit | 24,263 words | No Archive Warnings Apply)

Summary: When someone turns 15, the first line their soulmate will say to them appears on their wrist. Steve has the rare occurrence of two: One is normal, the other one is...weird. In other words: Steve finds out things get a little more complicated when you're on a team of Avengers, and Fate ties you to an Asgardian. Hilarity ensues.

Amenity by AccursedSpatula (Explicit | 3,891 words | No Archive Warnings Apply)

Summary: "If you truly do not desire this, then I shall stop. But otherwise, I have no qualms about offering you a bit of...comfort."

Going Down by vassalady (@vassalady) (Explicit | 996 words | No Archive Warnings Apply)

Summary: Steve fucks himself on Mjolnir. Thor joins in.

Collide by snack_size (@snack-size) (Explicit | 42,506 words | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Summary: During their third mission, Steve is caught under a collapsed building and is severely wounded. Thor is the first to locate them and stays with him consistently throughout his recovery. As their friendship deepens, both struggle with admitting their feelings to each other.

the sun did not yet know by asocialconstruct (@a-social-construct) (Explicit | 188,029 words | Rape/Non-Con, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Summary: Really just an excuse for gratuitous tiny!Steve/Thor slavefic id porn, and later shrinkyclinks porn. Tags to be added as chapters progress but in general consider this choose not to warn. -- Thor finally steps into view, arms crossed over his chest, and he’s bigger than he looked on the dais, broad shoulders made ever broader by the heavy drape of a cloak brushing his heels. If not for the long hair and the close trimmed beard, he could be on a poster for the Reich, blond and strong-jawed as they come. “So,” he says. “You are still a disappointment.”

[the-itzy-bitzy-spider]

Omg just like my girl 😍

Happy boy

(via)

[the-itzy-bitzy-spider]

Omg just like my girl 😍

Happy boy

(via)

[the-itzy-bitzy-spider]

Just an extremely Normal thing to say

Reminder they want to increase the budget for ICE from 3.5 to 45 billion dollars.

Reminder the majority of that will be for building new detention centers.

Reminder ICE are *currently* detaining tourists who can pay for a plane ticket home and people with visa issues that were already resolved, because they have to make quota so Trump can brag about the numbers going up.

Reminder most of these people were already in the immigration system - that's why they were easy to detain.

Reminder this is all at taxpayer expense.

Reminder these are people.

[the-itzy-bitzy-spider]

Once upon a time there was a girl whose wicked stepmother forced her to clean the entire house for Pesach all by herself. So while her stepmother and stepsisters left early for the grand seder at the Prince's palace, the girl spent the afternoon sweeping and dusting and washing and polishing. As she finally burned the last crumbs of chametz in the fireplace, she saw the sun setting and knew she would never make it to the Prince's seder on time, so she began to prepare her own meager dinner: a little Passover pizza. But miraculously, her fairy godmother appeared and transformed the pizza into a flying carpet to take her to the palace, and the cheese into a beautiful dress for her to wear. And to commemorate this story, to this very day, that cheese is named after that girl: they called her Matzah-rella.

[the-itzy-bitzy-spider]

The following is a step-by-step, comprehensive guide to putting on your very own Passover seder for the first time. Step One: Attempt, by all avenues, to get out of this commitment.

my guide to running a seder! published the day after the seder! my timing is perfect!

[the-itzy-bitzy-spider]

As I noted in a previous post I did some clean-up rewrites based on location, but there are only two scenes I personally take any credit for in this episode. First, the hidden lab […] The second scene was the one immediately following, where Eliot talks Hardison down. The scene had some serious emotional context for the show sure, as it was nice to finally say in text what we felt that relationship had become -- brothers. But it had a second layer. A very dear friend of mine was in Air Force Combat Search and Rescue right out of high school. When we were younger, and I was freaking out or insecure or nervous about something, he'd pep talk me. He'd do that neck grab and tuck my head in, because touching helmets like that, that's as close as you can get in a combat situation. "Fucking relax. Smartest guy I know," he'd say, often impatiently.

Well, that friend passed, not long before I wrote that scene. So I was writing him in that scene. Writing one of the four or so guys who became my brothers, who lived in my house, ate at my mom's table, sat around bullshitting in the Burger King parking lot for hours every night, who kept me from being a nervous, shy physics geek who never wrote, never performed, never joked.

When I explained that context to Christian and Aldis and Beth, I have to admit I teared up. And then -- and this is why I love them -- they dug in on that scene. They'd already rehearsed and committed to it, but then they really brought something extra. Kane in particular, knew he was playing my brother, and ran over after every take to make sure he was landing it. So know that for every time I say "Fucking Oklahoma..." because of some bone-headed stunt bullshit he did, understand I'll always love him, and Aldis and Beth, for how they acted that day.

pk_sullivan | jonrog1 | pk_sullivan | jonrog1 | "The Rundown Job" Post-Game (10 Jan. 2013)

[the-itzy-bitzy-spider]

[the-itzy-bitzy-spider]

This is so true. I live in the rural South and my kids go to school in a farm town. They are the only Jews in the entire district. My children are regularly told they're going to hell, asked how they hide their horns, and have to listen to shoah jokes. They are the only jews any of these children have ever met but they learned all of this at home and from church. This whole historical body of antisemitism comes with the culture, just like Santa or the tooth fairy. We're just the boogeyman man, some fantastical race that only exists in myth that they can blame for the ills of the world.

Now I'll give these kids some credit, my oldest son's friends have turned a 180 on this. They're understanding and accepting and supportive. They're excited to celebrate his bar mitzvah with him this year. They can learn to be good. Elementary school is harder because the critical thinking is so underdeveloped and kids just exist as little projections of their parents, but that seems to begin to change in middle school. So there's hope but only for those willing to think about it.

Source

[the-itzy-bitzy-spider]

Uk peeps!! Let’s get this going! 🏳️‍⚧️🇬🇧

[the-itzy-bitzy-spider]

This card really gets to me because if a friend gave me this for pesach, I wouldn't have a friend 😭

[Video Description: An Instagram reel by user @midrashmanicures (Rabbi Yael Buechler). Buechler is holding up a greeting card which features artwork of a slice of pizza and text reading in cursive font. Buechler says, "I'm Yael Buechler and here at CVS, I'm wondering why this Hallmark card is different than all others." The text on the card reads "At Passover, remember...".

Buechler opens the card, which plays the song Can't Touch This (MC Hammer). Artwork on the inside of the card features a croissant, doughnut, soft pretzel, slice of pizza, and a challah (all of which are all dancing with joyous mockery) /End of Description]

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[the-itzy-bitzy-spider]

[the-itzy-bitzy-spider]

Oh damn the Catholics have joined in on the war against AI "art".

[the-itzy-bitzy-spider]

If tumblr dies for real where do you think people will migrate to?

[the-itzy-bitzy-spider]

Careful with birding you can become addicted to noticing beauty in everything and appreciating nature

BEWARE OF THIS!!

[the-itzy-bitzy-spider]

Also me at the back door this weekend looking into the yard while I hollered for the kids to stay in the hallway. In fairness I was listening for the tornado, not just watching the wind. But yeah, the need to walk outside and watch is real.

Tornado