theamazingmudkip - Tumblr blog

[theamazingmudkip]

Sitting on the couch, crying but not feeling anything. Not knowing where to go after yet another disappointment has hit me.

What do I want?

I want to run around until I physically cannot anymore

I never want to move again

I want to sing so loud the walls start to shake

I never want to say another word

I want to feel something

I never want emotions again

I want a hug

I want to kill someone

I want to laugh

I want to cry

I want nothing

I want everything all at once

I want to leave this place, go to a world more magical than ours, learn magic a wizard school, fight monsters, travel through time with a madman in a box

I want trust

I want certainty

I want everlasting friendship

I want love

I want happiness.

[theamazingmudkip]

No but my body literally violently reacts to being just a tad too warm. Like I literally get a fever and I’m just sick in bed. And then you have my friends who go out for a run, or who sit outside in the sun, meanwhile I want to cram myself into my tiny-ass mini-fridge.

Being a little too cold: brrrr i’m a little too cold !!!

Being a little too warm: i am going to kill the next person who makes eye contact with me.

[theamazingmudkip]

So I missed the first appointment of my ADHD diagnosis journey. I had on my calendar it was at 10:30 am, I got a reminder text 2 days ago saying it was 10:30 am. I went an entire week reminding myself it was 10:30 am, and then last night I went to bed and for some godforsaken reason I suddenly thought it was at 11:30 am, so then I woke up an hour too late, and I missed it.

[theamazingmudkip]

Who was gonna tell me that The Duck Song 4 dropped?!?!

[theamazingmudkip]

This post is for people who think they can’t do things: yesterday I rode 100 km on my bike. I don’t have any training, but I do ride 2 km to and from school every day. Wanna know how I did it? The answer is: I’m delusional, and I don’t know my limits!

[theamazingmudkip]

Audhd is fun, you get the best of both worlds. Your autism doesn’t like overstimulation, but your adhd hates understimulated, and sometimes, if you’re lucky, you can be both over- and understimulated at the same time!

[theamazingmudkip]

Stardew valley modding is an emotional rollercoaster. One moment everything works perfectly, and then your character just walks off-screen into the void.

[theamazingmudkip]

No but why is this exactly what happened to me 2 weeks ago?

"wow, this autism sure has a lot in common with ADHD" <- Me three weeks ago, about to describe every single symptom of ADHD to my phsychiatrist and then claim that it's probably just my autism.

[theamazingmudkip]

inflation hitting hard in the valley

[theamazingmudkip]

can you fucking believe parents literally give birth to whole ass children and then argue with them why they shouldn't have adhd or try to talk them out of being autistic

[theamazingmudkip]

Forget everything else in the update, this is the single best update

[theamazingmudkip]

Just got new orthotics (I think that’s the word, the things you put in your shoes for support and shit), and MY FEET HURT. I have had new ones every year since I was 2 years old, and every time I’m surprised by how much they hurt in the beginning

[theamazingmudkip]

I hate being autistic/adhd because too much noises hurt but not enough noises hurt. Like fucking hell brain can you decide. Wdym you won't because the light is too strong today. What the hell does this have to do with sound.

[theamazingmudkip]

I hate that going outside helps my mental health.

[theamazingmudkip]

I've had a revelation

[theamazingmudkip]

Okay, but can we talk about Epic: The Musical for a second? This whole thing is GENIUS. These songs tickle my brain in the right way. Anyway, here is my complete ranking of every song, fight me.

Just a Man

Warrior of the Mind

There are other ways

Wouldn’t you like?

My Goodbye

Puppeteer

Done For

Survive

The Horse and the Infant

Keep your friends close

Remember them

Storm

Open Arms

Full Speed Ahead

Luck runs out

Ruthlessness

Polyphemus

[theamazingmudkip]

The feeling when your brain is just domkqjezjodmqjioejfsmlkdjqhenlijnqfvs, so you just sit there staring into infinity.