thedegenerateasexual - Tumblr blog

[thedegenerateasexual]

[thedegenerateasexual]

ugh god that gun/claws thing was so HOT

[thedegenerateasexual]

it is not NEARLY late enough at night to excuse this nonsense but this is what i do for stress relief

[thedegenerateasexual]

im coming out against chris argent/dean winchester bc 1. you can’t break up my otp like that 2. argent and dean both have too many issues about men to fuck it’d be like dean and cas nobody would ever make the first move 3. argent would be absolutely disgusted by dean’s general lack of restraint which would be UTTERLY apparent the second he gave dean the green light. as soon as dean got his mouth around all of that he’d go ham and that’s just not the kind of energy argent is looking for like i just think they’re both ******* sorry

[thedegenerateasexual]

for @thedegenerateasexual

[thedegenerateasexual]

i meant to reblog that second post to this blog but like whatever. no one on my main EVER has to know

[thedegenerateasexual]

[thedegenerateasexual]

Can you please link the destiel fic where cas can’t cum till dean says his name I’m too embarrassed to ask off anon but I really want to read it 🥺

ANON I CAN'T :( i made fun of that fic for being like. bad. if i linked it in public the author would be able to find out i was making fun of their fic for being horrible and that goes very deeply against my principles (which are: don't make fun of fanworks where the creators can hear you). if you make a sideblog or something you can message me on there and i'll send it and i'll never know who you were i promise

[thedegenerateasexual]

i am just saying,

if cas cannnibalized michael to remove him from dean it would give a whole new meaning to the phrase “ate him out”

[thedegenerateasexual]

actually, disregard what i said about objectivity in the post below this. i'm not objective about his stupid carpenter hands 👎

[thedegenerateasexual]

me, feeling smug: haha i AM immune to misha collins. thats on asexual superiority [someone posts a picture set of his hands and i am taken out instantly]

[thedegenerateasexual]

you guys don’t get it. you can’t keep talking about castiel’s HANDS. i’m asexual. hands are the second thing i notice after the face. you CANNOT make me fall in love some man’s HANDS, not again, not AGAIN,

[thedegenerateasexual]

horrible stories i have about supernatural porn

this isn’t a blog that i usually post spn content on but my main blog is sfw because i have some minors following it so like  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ anyway these are stories about porn, not porn stories themselves (i do have a link for the last one, but i don’t want to post it in public, because i’m a firm believer of not making fun of fanfic in public). im putting it behind a cut because it’s absolutely gonna ruin your day. if you’re in the polycule you can reblog this bc not everyone has my sideblog but if you’re sitting there going “what’s the polycule” then you can’t

for context, i was on the kmeme for spn in early 2009 before it became nothing but extreme underage and dog porn. i watched it transform into the uh place it is now and eventually bailed. two of the worst spn porn stories i can think of are as follows:

story the first: the spn kmeme had a very strict policy of no kinkshaming. everything is allowed, even underage, bestiality, etc. there was some discourse on the kmeme once about HOW young is too young, exactly? because someone posted a request for filling involving john/sam but sam was, yes, AN INFANT. there was a lot of back and forth about whether or not the person requesting was being a troll and whether or not the people on the request thread were kinkshaming. eventually they ruled in favor of this prompt. it was filled twice.

story the second: i was long gone by the time this posted but it still made waves over to where i was and it’s like, a classic leopards ate my face moment but also it makes me want to die. the kink meme both 1. allows bestiality and 2. has a section for rpf. so obviously the kmeme being what it is there was quite a bit of j*red p*dalecki fucking his dog. i don’t know why. it’s UTTERLY cursed. anyway, the dog died (very sad) and so someone posted a combination prompt of.........rpf/bestiality/NECROPHILIA. they wanted to see the dog being given a, how can we put this, final goodbye. cue more discourse similar to the above. THIS prompt was eventually ruled as a troll prompt and was taken down (but the other one was fine?!?!?!)

stories i have that don’t involve the kink meme: the artist mythagowood. DO NOT GOOGLE “mythagowood supernatural” unless you are prepared to see truly unsettling things. this person photoshops images of the cast engaging in tentacle porn, mpreg, prolapse porn, etc etc. the most famous of all of these is “ass bees” which involves j*red p*dalecki spreading them to his prolapsed asshole covered in, well, yeah, you get the idea. there was a rumor going around that this infamously horrible art is what inspired the “bees?” card in CAH, but no one has ever been able to prove it one way or another

other things: for a christmas event i was participating in, everyone was supposed to prompt 5 things they wanted and then fill at least one prompt someone else left. i thought of four prompts, but blanked on a fifth, and then as a joke i added “draw dean like one of your french girls - wearing this one only this” and posted a picture of the samulet. lo: one of the most famous artists in the fandom actually took me up on it. full frontal. hyperrealistic. it was...incredible. i’ll always be grateful for the hard work she must have put in.

and finally, for a tamer and less cursed example: my favorite dean castiel fic is the one where cas can’t nut until dean says his full name (castiel winchester, obviously). the first time i read this and liveblogged it at @maulthots i laughed so hard i cried. we have spent an inordinate amount of time since committed to the bit:

Sam at the worst possible time: Castiel Winchester Cas: UNNGGHHH

someone: hey whats your full legal name castiel: already crossing his legs

Cas applies for a driver's license and then gets arrested for public indecency

cas goes in to sign the adoption papers for jack and the pen starts shaking in his hand social worker: and the last name? cas: HNNNNNNHGGGH

dean loses cas in a walmart and gets them to make an announcement over the pa and knows which direction to go by following the sound of the nut

cas gets pulled over for speeding and they ask for his license and he has to carefully keep his eyes off of the place where he signed his name cop: castiel winchester huh cas: HHHHHHHRRRG

dean and cas get into a pizza earing contest and cas successfully finishes the last slice. sam stands up and proclaims, "castiel wins--" "HUUOOOGGGGGH"

cas turns on the television ready to enjoy a nice relaxing evening of genre tv oh no. its the vampire diaries OH NO...HIS EYES DRIFT TO THE CORNER C W  “HRRRRRRRKKK”

anyway. it’s a really good fic. i won’t name it in public because it’s rude to make fun of fics in public but absolutely DM me if you want the link. it’ll make you cry i swear

[thedegenerateasexual]

[thedegenerateasexual]

imagine being trapped in an extremely slow elevator with jr bourne. jesus christ

[thedegenerateasexual]

this is for liz’s eyes only everyone else look away

👀👀👀

[thedegenerateasexual]

brownbicon replied to your post “someone tell me im funny”

jensen sbsdhdksna sna

thanks for ur support always