thedepressedkiddo

[thedepressedkiddo]

"The most terrible loneliness is not the kind that comes from being alone, but the kind that comes from being misunderstood. It is the loneliness of standing in a crowded room, surrounded by people who do not see you, who do not hear you, who do not know the true essence of who you are. And in that loneliness, you feel as though you are fading, disappearing into the background, until you are nothing more than a ghost, a shadow of your former self."

- George Orwell, 1984

[thedepressedkiddo]

"Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It's the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness.Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could."

- Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum

[thedepressedkiddo]

after you, i won't seek love again because i know if i do, i'll be searching for pieces of you in everyone i meet.

[thedepressedkiddo]

when the coffee starts to taste like " if the universe gave us another chance to be together again, are you willing to take it? "

[thedepressedkiddo]

"I fear to love you too much and lose you and suffer, and I also fear to not love you and miss a love chance and regret it. I live with you an unbalance state since I knew you, my life going perfectly, except my heart which is a mess. I always fear the endings, for I am used to lose anything I love, so please tell me: How can I love you without pain? And how can I not love you with regret?

أخاف أن أحبك جدا فأفقدك ثم أتألم، و أخاف أيضا أن لا أحبك فتضيع فرصة الحب فأندم، أعيش معك حالة لا توازن منذ أن عرفتك، حياتي تسير بإنتظام، ما عدا قلبي فإنه تسوده الفوضى. لكني أخشى النهايات دوما، فأنا قد اعتدت دائما أن أفقد أي شيء أحبه. أرجوك أخبرني : كيف "أحبك بلا ألم؟ وكيف لا أحبك بلا ندم؟

[thedepressedkiddo]

"I fear to love you too much and lose you and suffer, and I also fear to not love you and miss a love chance and regret it. I live with you an unbalance state since I knew you, my life going perfectly, except my heart which is a mess. I always fear the endings, for I am used to lose anything I love, so please tell me: How can I love you without pain? And how can I not love you with regret?

أخاف أن أحبك جدا فأفقدك ثم أتألم، و أخاف أيضا أن لا أحبك فتضيع فرصة الحب فأندم، أعيش معك حالة لا توازن منذ أن عرفتك، حياتي تسير بإنتظام، ما عدا قلبي فإنه تسوده الفوضى. لكني أخشى النهايات دوما، فأنا قد اعتدت دائما أن أفقد أي شيء أحبه. أرجوك أخبرني : كيف "أحبك بلا ألم؟ وكيف لا أحبك بلا ندم؟

[thedepressedkiddo]

"I exist.' In thousands of agonies - I exist. I'm tormented on the rack - but I exist! Though I sit alone in a pillar - I exist! I see the sun, and if I don't see the sun, I know it's there. And there's a whole life in that, in knowing that the sun is there."

- Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

[thedepressedkiddo]

کبھی خود پہ کبھی حالات پہ رونا آیا

بات نکلی تو ہر اک بات پہ رونا آیا

ہم تو سمجھے تھے کہ ہم بھول گئے ہیں ان کو

کیا ہوا آج یہ کس بات پہ رونا آیا

At times, I wept for myself, at times for fate,

Once the words came out, I wept for every state.

I thought I had forgotten them for sure,

But what happened today that I wept once more?

[thedepressedkiddo]

Søren Kierkegaard

[thedepressedkiddo]

The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.

"The Fellowship of the Ring", J.R.R. Tolkien

[thedepressedkiddo]

وه جو ہم میں تم میں قرارتھا

تمهيں ياد ہو کہ نہ ياد ہو

that joyous ease that was once between us

do you remember it, or have you forgotten?

[thedepressedkiddo]

"It was November-the month of crimson sunsets, parting birds, deep, sad hymns of the sea, passionate wind-songs in the pines."

- L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

[thedepressedkiddo]

"I exist.' In thousands of agonies - I exist. I'm tormented on the rack - but I exist! Though I sit alone in a pillar - I exist! I see the sun, and if I don't see the sun, I know it's there. And there's a whole life in that, in knowing that the sun is there."

- Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

[thedepressedkiddo]

apologies are pointless to me now. change your ways or get the fuck outta my way.

[thedepressedkiddo]

They call me the listener

A listener is what I always am.

Even my tears and cries

remain silent and unheard.

I wish my tears spoke,

I wish they spilled the words

my mouth never dared to say.

I wish my tears knew how to scream,

Instead of simply running down my cheeks

like salty streams.

I've never been the ink-

screaming and pouring out the words

left buried inside me.

I've always been the paper,

soaking every drop of what others write,

Carrying the weight of their words down.

The listener is what Ill always be.

[thedepressedkiddo]

They call me the listener

A listener is what I always am.

Even my tears and cries

remain silent and unheard.

I wish my tears spoke,

I wish they spilled the words

my mouth never dared to say.

I wish my tears knew how to scream,

Instead of simply running down my cheeks

like salty streams.

I've never been the ink-

screaming and pouring out the words

left buried inside me.

I've always been the paper,

soaking every drop of what others write,

Carrying the weight of their words down.

The listener is what Ill always be.

[thedepressedkiddo]

I know now that this is how it works you don't get to keep everyone in your life forever there are some people that are just meant to be a sunrise for you a light to pull you out of the darkness there are friends, lovers, relationships that are seasonal and no matter how deep of a conversation you had with that person at 2 am no matter how much you shared your heart even if you can still draw the lines of their smile like the map of a too familiar road in the back of your mind there almost always comes a time to move on a time to let go and regardless of the letting go i just wanted you to know you're always going to feel a little bit like home to me no matter how temporary it is still beautiful that i got to call so many hearts my home...