theeveninglamp

[theeveninglamp]

Trapped

I stare blankly at the window, my eyes tracing the intricate patterns of the grills that seem to mock me. Beyond the bars, the sky stretches out in a brilliant blue, taunting me with its freedom. I crave the warmth of the sun on my skin, the gentle rustle of the breeze in my hair, and the sweet taste of carefreeness but the grills remind me that I am trapped.

Trapped in a world of expectations, where everyone wants a piece of me. My parents, my teachers, my peers – they all demand perfection. I am suffocating under the weight of their expectations.

My gaze drops to the mess on my desk. Notes are scattered everywhere, dog-eared and worn. My pencil pouch lies open, its contents spilling out in a chaotic jumble. Pens, pencils, highlighters, and sticky notes all mingle together in a maddening dance.

The clutter reflects the turmoil in my mind. Thoughts swirl, a jumbled mess of anxiety, fear, and uncertainty. I am lost in a sea of responsibilities, with no lifeline in sight. The window seems to be calling to me, beckoning me to escape the chaos. But the grills hold me back, a harsh reminder that I'm not free to fly. I am a bird in a gilded cage, trapped by the expectations of others. I sigh, my shoulders sagging under the weight of my responsibilities.

I gather my notes, trying to impose some semblance of order on the chaos. But the grills remain, a constant reminder that freedom is just out of reach.

-- 사유의 일기, 1.17.25

[theeveninglamp]

Offbeat

Wishes made but timing betrayed. According to the stars, I was late. By a minute, by a month. And the dreams? They slipped through the cracks of chronology...

-- 12.11.24, 사유의 일기

[theeveninglamp]

I am but a lone star, lost in the infinite horizon of night. A faint whisper of light, drowned by the celestial chorus. A constant presence, yet forever eclipsed. My heart yearns to be the radiant sun, to illuminate the skies and warm the soul. But alas, I remain a mere flicker, a second choice, a consolation prize.

Yet, I hold on to the fragile thread of hope. Perhaps someday, the darkness will recede, and my light will be seen. Perhaps someday, I will be more than just a faint glow in the void. Until then, I will continue to shine, a beacon in the darkness, a whispered promise of a brighter tomorrow.

-- 29.11.24, 사유의 일기

[theeveninglamp]

Chaos in "Pink"

As the pink sky weeps its gentle hues, the train horn's deafening blast shatters the serenity. The train thunders into view, a force of chaos and momentum, threatening to derail my fragile sense of peace. The pink sky's tranquil beauty taunts me, a cruel reminder of the calm I crave but can't attain. The train's relentless roar is the soundtrack to my chaotic life, a constant reminder that serenity is just out of reach.

-- 사유의 일기 , 24.11.28