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[thehauntedmistress]

don’t look back into the sun 

“drop everything”; delete all social media, quit your job, pack whatever you can in a duffel bag, get the fuck out of this town.

requested by anonymous    [ listen here ]

[thehauntedmistress]

With all of the travelling I've done, I have spent long periods of time away from lovers that I have ached, physically ached, to be in the same room with, and these lyrics just hit me hard

Radiohead | Cut A Hole

wish that i could come out of your phone superhero powers burst out of the sound with a bunch of flowers and you just say the word apparition comes with a long and winning handsome smile wish we could connect step into the void off the diving board blend into the light down the cable-lines run under the earth re-forming on the wind two places at once taste the air with you undo all ties wish that I could flick one of those eyes lift this all away see that stretchy smile go right across your face

cut a hole  cut a hole cut a hole 

[thehauntedmistress]

Model: Theresa Theresa Photo: Alain Warnier Outfit:Dress Art Mystery & Bizarre Noir

Welcome to Gothic and Amazing | www.gothicandamazing.com

[thehauntedmistress]

*screams*

Thom Yorke by Masafumi Sanai, 2002

[thehauntedmistress]

That moment when someone you had to cut yourself off from suddenly sends you a message three months later

[thehauntedmistress]

2018 Predictions

• Donald Trunp will make up an assassination attempt against him (not stage one, just say it happened)

• Very brief trend of wearing shirts inside out

• Hackers will attack Ajit Pai and uncover some sort of secret fetish of his (my guess is piss or feet but who can say)

• Mothman sighting will re-emerge followed by most likely another bridge collapse or maybe a building

• Someone (Florida Man) is gonna try (and fail) to eat a crocodile alive

• Boston Dynamics is finally gonna make a robot you can ride

• A prank youtuber will do a livestream where they will actually get murdered for real

• The Hot New Meme™ will just be screaming (think rickrolling but 1000× worse)

[thehauntedmistress]

When a guy stretches out and his shirt lifts up and you can see his belly reblog if you agree

[thehauntedmistress]

Hey ladies lemme give you some truths: 1. Sex is supposed to feel good. 2. It is as much for you as it is for men. We need to start voicing our desire for pleasure to these men who are terrible at sex and hold them accountable. No reason we should have to go through this.

[thehauntedmistress]

For Aziz Ansari and Others Like Him: How to Be an Amazing Sexual Experience

CW: Some curse words and sexual content, but mostly great advice

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A lot of stories have been coming out about the horrific side of sex and dating, the most recent one being babe's article about a woman's date with Aziz Ansari. And while I think her experience was a majority terrible sex and a lot of her gross feelings were moreso disappointment in the experience and in herself for not speaking up as much as she would have liked, I think Aziz is a P.O.S. sexual partner who needs to learn how to have sex and listen to both verbal and OBVIOUS non-verbal cues from his sexual partners.

So from a woman who has had both amazing sexual experiences that made it difficult for me to focus on work the next day and terrible sexual experiences that left me feeling like I downed a whole bottle of $1 vodka, here is my guide on "How to Be an Amazing Sexual Experience."

The central thesis of this guide is: It is possible to get your rocks off AND be a great lover. Problem is, a lot of people don't know how to be the latter. Being a great lover is central to you becoming an amazing sexual experience. *eyeballs Aziz Ansari*

1. NEVER BE AN AGGRESSIVE SEXUAL PARTNER UNLESS IT HAS BEEN ESTABLISHED BY BOTH OF YOU THAT THAT IS WHAT BOTH OF YOU WANT. This is not porn! It is scary when someone is sexually aggressive when you don't expect it, and it's also hella rude. It makes someone think, "Will it get worse if I speak up?"

2. ALWAYS CHECK IN WITH YOUR PARTNER WHEN YOU ARE ABOUT TO DO SOMETHING NEW. WITH A NEW PARTNER THAT IS LITERALLY EVERYTHING. And there are sexy ways to go about this. "Would you like me to go down on you now?" Or, "How about I turn you over and do it from behind?" Or simply, "Mind if we move this to the bedroom?"

3. CHECK IN WITH YOUR PARTNER OCCASIONALLY. Don't be overbearing, just ask how they are doing. "Are you having fun?" Or, "You really like this, don't you?"

4. IF YOU WANT SOMETHING, DON'T EVER COMMAND THEM TO DO IT UNLESS YOU HAVE ESTABLISHED THEY LIKE TO BE COMMANDED. "I want you to ____", "I would love it if you did ____", or just ask.

5. IF SOMEONE SEEMS UNCOMFORTABLE, STOP. Ask how they are doing. Offer to chill out, BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T TRY TO BE SEXUAL AGAIN *glares at Aziz* UNTIL THEY SAY THEY ARE READY. Until then, be gentle, sweet, and calm. Brush their hair, rub their back, cuddle. Be a decent fucking human being.

6. IF SOMEONE SAYS THEY WANT TO STOP, STOP. Get dressed, chill out. Don't do anything sexual. Don't kiss them unless they want to be kissed. Don't touch them unless they want to be touched. The goal is to calm down and relax.

7. IF YOU BOTH GO THROUGH WITH THE WHOLE THING, BE A GOOD LOVER ALL THE WAY UNTIL YOU PART. Cuddle, get some comfort food, talk, watch TV, massage, whatever. If you're crunched for time, do your best to do some of these things before you part. It really seals the deal on the experience.

If you're sitting here thinking, "That's a lot of work" or, "That doesn't sound sexy." The only sex you should be having is with a prostitute who's job it is to focus on just your sexual needs or with someone who gets off by serving others. You shouldn't be having sex with people who are looking for a shared experience.

It is possible to do those things and still have an amazing sexual experience for yourself. The best sex I've ever had is with people who do the above and I always make sure to do those things too. Because, like a decent human being, I want my partners to enjoy the sex they have with me. And because, like decent human beings, they want me to enjoy the sex I have with them.

Follow these rules, and you too can be the reason someone is trying to hide a boner/lady boner at work.

[thehauntedmistress]

It’s like watching a car repeatedly drive straight into a wall. It’s unexplainable, it looks like it hurts a lot, but ultimately it ends up being darkly, ironically funny.

[thehauntedmistress]

My personal favorite was the pile of notes in front of Gwyniveres sanctuary that all said, "Amazing Chest Ahead"

i really love the concept of leaving notes on the ground for other players in a game with only premade words and phrases to choose from because like

bloodborne is already fun, but seeing “it’s the scourge of the elderly” before fighting a bunch of old dudes on a bridge, or “reminescent of snake” to warn you an NPC is a traitor, "gorgeous view ahead” in front of a mirror, “reeks of wheelchair”, and my personal favorite

[thehauntedmistress]

I used to work for Dollar Tree. One time a customer left a bag and my manager asked me to go run it out to the customer and when I reached the customer, for some insane reason, I said, "My master says this bag is yours." I immediately corrected myself but the woman just said, "You're weird, kid," and got into her car.

I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

[thehauntedmistress]

If you see this

You were visited by the magic kitten of rest. Reblog to have a good night’s sleep.

(her name is Lola and she’s my foster)

[thehauntedmistress]

Whoa Black Betty

[thehauntedmistress]

*HEAVY BREATHING*

the quality! ….

[thehauntedmistress]

Brb, crying

Mojito The Therapy Dog And Skywalker The Deaf Kitten

Best friends!

Photos by ©mojito_rose

[thehauntedmistress]

I am an ENTP and I love INFPs with all of my heart. I love how passionate they are. I love how intelligent they are. I love how fierce they are. I love that they stand up for what they believe in and stand up for themselves and who they love. I love how sassy they are. I love how silly they are. I love how honest and pure they are. I love how much they dream and I love to watch them talk about those dreams. I love their art that is so raw and honest. I love how much they love people. I love how analytical and philosophical they are. I love mentally sparring with them. I love debating with them. I love their emotions. And being engaged to an INFP has made me the brunt of the INFP's condescension and scorn when they are hurt; even that I have come to love. Hell really hath no fury like an INFP.

Hell Hath No Fury Like An INFP

One misconception which I would like to end right here and now, is that INFPs are the overly sensitive little weaklings sobbing in the corner. This needs some clarification.

Firstly, due to our dominant function being introverted feeling (Fi), all of our emotions are directed inwards. I guess we’re the typical example of the phrase ‘swallow your feelings’. So, if you see somebody publicly weeping over a lamb chop, do not immediately think ‘Ah, INFP’. Because I think this is very unlikely. The INFP, when upset, will approach the world with their best poker face, calmly walk away, lock the door behind them and then weep over the lamb chop.

PDEs (Public Displays of Emotion) are not the property of the INFP. For that particular awkwardness, you’ll have to look to the extroverted feelers.

Admittedly, yes, we are sensitive. But I believe that this is due to our kind hearted nature. For the INFP, unless you can do something with your whole heart then it’s not worth doing at all. We are the ones who put all of our eggs in one basket, emotionally, so when the eggs crack, it’s no yolk! [laughs to one’s self] We care so very much about our friends and family, so when they hurt us we are cut deeply.

Again our Fi means that we only open up to those we trust, and when these people betray that trust we introvert our feelings once more. This might seem like we’re sulking, but honestly, if you’re mean enough to deliberately hurt someone then you have no right to complain about getting a reaction because of it. And trust me, we always know when you meant to do something.

The INFP’s main concern is the genuine. A friend who is cold one minute and loving the next is not a real friend to the INFP, and we cannot trust somebody unless they are a real friend. Constancy is key. Likewise, no matter how close you might be to an INFP, if you hurt them badly enough, or do not behave like a friend as you should, they have no qualms about retracting your friendship.

So yes, we are not so forgiving of others as other types are, so in this respect, we may be sensitive. But do not for one minute think that this means you can walk over us. INFPs will bend over backwards for their friends, but at the first hint of being used, the INFP will flee. Likewise, if you think you can push the INFP around, you will find yourself in hot water.

I am a formidable opponent in an argument. Rather like a ferret. And whereas I am usually laid back, if you encroach on the INFPs beliefs or values and try to emotionally blackmail them, you will find them uncharacteristically cold and decisive. “And then the cage comes down!” Betrayal can cause the INFP to completely cut ties, and they will not look back.

INFPs will not initiate a fight but they will be damned if they let you end it. Hell hath no fury like an INFP on the defensive. The dreamy INFP will go straight for the jugular, and trust me, they know all of your insecurities, know exactly where to hit a nerve. They don’t consciously make a note of these, but it is hard to not know when you understand people so well. They might not get credit for it, but, when riled, the INFP is the world’s greatest public speaker. But this is only when they care about the topic at hand. If you are argumentative and try to get us worked up over a misplaced plate in the laundry cupboard, you’re barking up the wrong tree. The INFP, as with relationships, is a switch. Completely and utterly obsessed or remarkably disinterested.

It’s the INFP paradox

source: INFPosts