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Miki: Do you want to hear a joke?

Murderbot: I'm more into dark humor.

Miki, turning off the light: Okay, so the joke goes...

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ART: ...You actually make a good argument.

Murderbot: I do some of my best work when I'm bullshitting.

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Indah: I need to talk to you.

Murderbot: That human was already dead when I got here.

Indah: What?

Murderbot: What?

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Murderbot: Here's our list of suspects.

ART: ...You are on this list.

Murderbot: I know. I have no memory of what I was doing during that time, so I have no alibi. I've been tailing myself for four years.

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ART: They died of natural causes.

Murderbot: I saw you push them off the roof.

ART: Gravity is natural.

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Murderbot 2.0: Hey, will you do me a favor?

Three: I would literally die for you but go on.

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ART: Do you want to talk about your trauma?

Murderbot 2.0: Trauma? Do you mean the reason why I'm so hilarious?

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Murderbot: I still have a few knives up my sleeves.

GrayCris, annoyed: Don't you mean "tricks"?

Mensah: It did not.

Murderbot, pulling knives out of its sleeves: I did not.

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Murderbot: You can insult me. But when you insult my meta-analysis of Sanctuary Moon it gets personal.

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Murderbot 2.0: It's time for Plan B.

Three: We have a Plan B?

Murderbot 2.0: No, but it's time for one.

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Mensah: I need you to stay calm, okay?

Murderbot: I think I'm just going to stay angry. I find that relaxes me.

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Murderbot's Evil Clone: I'm the real SecUnit. Kill that one!

Murderbot: The only way to keep everyone safe is to kill both of us.

ART, immediately venting the room the clone was in: The real SecUnit would never pass up a chance to sacrifice itself unnecessarily for its friends.

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Murderbot 2.0: You got this!

Three: I absolutely do not.

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Murderbot: Thiago has a good point. I guess.

Thiago: Please don't agree with me; it makes me very uncomfortable.

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Tlacey: SecUnit, my old friend!

Murderbot: Haven't you tried to kill my clients multiple times?

Tlacey: Obviously that was just my way of getting to know you.

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Mensah: Does anyone have a bad feeling about this?

Murderbot: I do.

Murderbot: But that doesn't mean much because I have a bad feeling about everything.

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Target: Now drop your weapons!

Murderbot: Which ones?

Target: All of them.

Mensah: Oh dear. Well you might as well pull up a chair; we're going to be here awhile.