#incorrect murderbot quotes

[elvencantation]

Gurathin: hello

Murderbot, monotone: no

Gurathin: i’m sorry?

Murderbot: no hello. go away. i don’t like you

[aspenispoplar]

Tapan: Hey, Security Consultant Rin. This might be a rude question, but are you autistic?

SecUnit: What? No. I'm electric.

Tapan: ❓❓❓

[theincorrectcompany]

Murderbot's Evil Clone: I'm the real SecUnit. Kill that one!

Murderbot: The only way to keep everyone safe is to kill both of us.

ART, immediately venting the room the clone was in: The real SecUnit would never pass up a chance to sacrifice itself unnecessarily for its friends.

[cottagecore-droids]

Tor.com

[andromeda3116]

This is my idea of the opposite of being helpful. I am here against my will and you are going to regret that.

-Murderbot, Network Effect

no comment, i just fuckin' love this line.

[griseldagimpel]

Murderbot Diaries Incorrect Quotes

The Corporation Rim: We've created the perfect security system in the SecUnits.

Preservation: You fucked up a perfectly good construct, is what you did. Look, it has anxiety.

[rosewind2007]

I mean, looks like something it might say…

[cobalt-knave]

incorrect The Murderbot Diaries #1

Client: You don’t look like a hotshot expert on personal security.

Murderbot: Well, I don’t feel like one either.

[tinyplanetss]

ART: if the humans are dead, how will i have a purpose in my existence? what reason would i have to continue my research and protection? :'(

murderbot: if the humans are dead WHO will make my media -_-

[udaberriwrites]

So, Incorrect Quote time!

Second run of incorrect quotes, this time enabled by @tsunderewatermelon !

Rules: Use this generator to generate incorrect quotes and tag people!

Tagging: @axolotlsupremacyowo , @lena-hills and open tag for people who want to give it a try! :) (though as Tsundere said, you don't have to play if you don't want to!)

This time I'm going with the characters of the book I'm currently reading. The results have been... interesting :D

Murderbot: Don't quote me on this, but I think murder is illegal!

-

Murderbot: Underestimate me. That'll be fun.

-

Murderbot: Good morning. As you begin your day, remember that violence is always an option and often the answer.

ART:

Murderbot:

ART: ...Please, go back to bed.

-

Murderbot: All in all, a 100 successful trip.

ART: But we lost Gurathin.

Murderbot: All in all, a 100 successful trip!

-

Murderbot: ART gave me a get better soon card.

Mensah: That's sweet!

Murderbot: I wasn't sick, it just thinks I can do better.

-

Mensah: How do Sec-Unit and Perihelion usually get out of these messes?

Gurathin: They don't. They just make a bigger mess that cancels the first one out.

-

Mensah: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?

Amena: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.

ART: Three of us saw it, Amena. How do you explain that?

Amena: *points at Gurathin* Sleep deprivation. *points at Murderbot* Paranoia. *points at ART* Delusional personality disorder.

[kayla1507]

Connor: Don’t panic, I’m in charge.

Hank: THAT’S EXACTLY WHY I’M PANICKING!

[rrainbowmagnet]

Thiago: Where’s the cheese?

Murderbot: It’s under the sauce.

Thiago: Th-there’s no cheese on it.

Murderbot: It’s under the sauce.

Thiago: Like, I’m from Preservation and this is hurting me.

Murderbot: It’s from the CR.

Thiago: Wh- It’s just sauce.

Murderbot: The cheese is under the sauce.

Thiago: That’s not enough cheese!

Murderbot: Cheese is under the sauce.

Thiago: IT’S NOT ENOUGH!

Murderbot: IT’S UNDER THE SAU-

[ecoamerica]

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[thepringlesofblood]

I’m making a list of quotes from the Murderbot Diaries for a quiz (a match-the-person-to-the-quote sort of thing) - anyone have any favorites to send in?

Here’s what I have so far - they’re mostly Network Effect since I’ve been re-listening to the audiobook lately, and they’re mostly murderbot. I’m trying to get some from other characters (all quotes are welcome though!)

(SPOILERS up through Fugitive Telemetry)

I've lost my crew. I won't lose you - ART

Sometimes people do things to you that you can't do anything about. You just have to survive it, and go on - mb

You are incorrect, Iris. I can bomb the colony - ART

You were lucky - ART

I hate having emotions about reality. I'd much rather have them about Sanctuary Moon - mb

Well, it was a little rude - arada

Thank you for that information - 3

It would be better if they could think of you as someone who is trying to help, because that's how I think of you - mensah

Are you fighting again or are you making up? Because it looks exactly the same from the outside. - amena

As a heartless killing machine, I was a terrible failure - mb

Anyone who thinks machine intelligences don't have emotions needs to be in this very uncomfortable room right now. - ratthi

Angry, then afraid, then dead. Is that the right order? - mb

Please calm yourselves and stop talking. Plan A01: Rain Destruction has been superseded by Plan B01: Distract and Extract. - ART

I know violence isn't the solution to everything, but in this case... - 2.0

Okay you keep the ship. I'll take the planet. - 2.0

I was having an emotion, and I hate that. - mb

I am actually alone in my head, and that's where 90 plus percent of my problems are - mb

You may have noticed that when I do manage to care, I'm a pessimist - mb

Fear is an artificial condition - tapan

I guess you can't tell a story from the point of view of something you don't think has a point of view - mb

It’s normal to feel conflict. You were part of something for a long time. You hate it, and it was a terrible thing. But it created you, and you were part of it. - bharadwaj

The problem with gunships is they want to shoot at stuff. - mb

Okay, Third Mom - amena

People, please. I’m scheduled to mediate arguments between teenagers on my next commcall home and I need all my patience for that. - mensah

Who runs around with a friendly rogue SecUnit? Besides us, I mean. - ratthi

We’re friends, and friends call each other by name. - miki

I'm not going to hurt your humans, you little idiot - ART

So you don't have a governor module, but we could punish you by looking at you? - gurathin

I love you armor, andd I'm never leaving you again - mb

SecUnit's brain is always compromised - ART

I'm not going to turn around and show you my neck, strange person I just met on an alien planet! - Iris

Who the fuck are you? - ART

[theincorrectcompany]

Murderbot: I still have a few knives up my sleeves.

GrayCris, annoyed: Don't you mean "tricks"?

Mensah: It did not.

Murderbot, pulling knives out of its sleeves: I did not.

[iibislintu]

hmph.

before i started adhd meds, i was falling behind @ work and constantly tired because of that.

now equipped with the superpower of Being Able To Do Things, i’ve crossed over to getting three times as much done as before, and now i’m tired because of that!

to slightly misquote my favourite rogue SecUnit, ”this is what in the media they call an oh shit situation.”

[wednesdayismydefult]

Iris: so why do you call Peri ART?

ART: Isn't it obvious, because I am a state of the art transport, and it thinks I am as beautiful as a piece of art.

Murderbot: SUUURE

[ecoamerica]

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