thekillective

[thekillective]

that awkward moment when you spend hours wondering why you just feel Different right now like you're a totally different person... and then you remember you're a system and realize you're just. not the host.

[thekillective]

Since our systems both have had a trillion shots at tumblrs, we just want to say hi and maybe possibly be friends

That’s even if we can act like a decent group of people to you all

hello !! ofc we can be friends, but we're a little bad at maintaining interaction sometimes so if that's cool💀

[thekillective]

[thekillective]

i don't think we really acknowledge how scary it is being a host who doesn't remember the system's trauma. you know about your system, you know you have traumas you don't understand, and you know a couple triggers, but the information is being withheld from you. people having flashbacks inside while you lay there on the verge of tears, stuck in a trance. the system's rushing to cover your eyes but you can still hear the screaming. pushing a little bit too far because you can't stand not knowing and then regretting it because now your closest friends in the system are pissed at you and won't talk to you other than when they're trying to gaslight you. and then you can't even be mad at them because you know they're just doing their jobs and protecting you from things you can't handle yet. but that doesn't mean it doesn't suck.

[thekillective]

one thing we've learned about being a system is that we're usually overthinking just how noticeable the differences between us are. like i dunno if people think i suddenly develop a lisp sometimes because i'm tired or something? but at this point i know they're not gonna say anything about it so i don't worry.

-🎸

[thekillective]

Alter Intro #1

Name: Ricky

Pronouns: he/him

Age: 36

Role: protector & cohost

Sign-off: 🎸

I'm an introject of a real person (I don't usually call myself a factive) but I don't like to publicly name my source out of respect (which is just a personal choice/feeling, others can do whatever they want).

Some random facts about me are that I wear gloves as often as possible because I hate feeling things on my hands and also I have a bit of a lisp.

Likes: Rainy days, Sonic The Hedgehog, Christmas, car rides

Dislikes: Being bored, most textures on my hands

—

My Mini Playlist:

San Diego by Blink-182

Pass The Nirvana by Pierce The Veil

Complete Collapse by Sleeping With Sirens

DROP DEAD by TX2

Promise by Crooked Teeth feat. Telltale

—

-🎸

[thekillective]

The KILLective

Basic Info:

Undiagnosed DID system

Polyfragmented (200+ parts)

Body is 17

Default to he/him

Autistic

—

Hosts:

Spencer: He/slit. 17. Signs off with 🔪 (personal blog: @thebloodwaltz)

Ricky: He/him. 36. Signs off with 🎸

—

Other Frequent Fronters:

Lars/Rex: He/him. Mid 20s. Signs off with 🍷

Baxter: Any pronouns (ask for preferred). 19. Signs off with 👑

Vinny: He/it. Ageless. Signs off with 🩸

Patrick: He/they. 31. Signs off with 🧲

—

(Full intros will be posted over time. Other parts will probably just sign off with their names.)

—

Welcome to our blog!

[thekillective]

shoutout to the DID systems who never experience full blackouts in the present, who always have at least a little bit of knowledge of what's happening all the time. that doesn't invalidate your experience of amnesia or mean you don't have it as a symptom, it just means your brain didn't see that as a necessary part of protecting you. every single system functions differently and that is way too easy to forget, so go easy on yourself <3

-ricky

[thekillective]

this is like. my third try at using tumblr let's see how it goes lol