thelextheluthor

[thelextheluthor]

So I've got this friend whose nervous because she's trans and dating this guy who she hasn't told yet because they've only been on a two dates. For this story let's call the friend Jane and the guy she was dating Jason. Happy ending don't worry.

So I tell Jane to bring her boy over to a bbq I'm having and she can tell him she's trans at my place surrounded by queer and trans people who love her and will support her if he ends up being awful.

She waits till the end of the bbq to tell him the news, by which point the rest of us have learned that Jason is a kind, friendly, empathetic, hard working, dummy. So we sit down, all of us a little worried about this gym bro's reaction when she tells him she's trans, and that she understands if he doesn't want to keep dating her it's no big deal.

He's baffled, so we explain what trans is, and after the disclosure that she hasn't had bottom surgery yet...

"Oh you have a dick?"

"... yeah."

He look's around at the room full of people with baited breath, his clearly a little afraid girl friend says

"Oooohhhh! I get it! You think- don't worry Babe! Watch this!"

And ya'll this man jumps up, runs into the kitchen and returns with one of the bratwurst we had for grilling and proceeds to tilt his head back, put it down his throat, hold it in his mouth for a moment, and spit it up without even a whisper of a gag and then looks around at the group absolutely beaming with pride.

My mans saw his worried girlfriend and her support network and thought to him self "Oh they don't think I can't please my girl, but I'll show them!"

[thelextheluthor]

Guys do you think she’s excited

[thelextheluthor]

Four puppies cuddling. Pompey, 1 century CE.

[thelextheluthor]

Superman isn't woke. You're just so evil that you see a man doing acts of kindness and you think it's a targeted political agenda

[thelextheluthor]

It is also available in English i just wasn't aware of that bc I get Spanish ads too but its the same thing in English Aztec Batman: Clash of Empires holy shit I cant wait

WE'RE GETTING AN AZTEC BATMAN MOVIE IN THE BIG 2025 AND NOBODY TOLD ME???????? The trailer came out like 2 hours ago but that doesnt matter holy shit I've watched it like 5 times already and I'm already shaking at the prospect

I cannot wait until September 18th I need this movie out NOWWWWWWW!!!!!!! Idk if its gonna be available globally but if not I might really have to get my passport renewed to go back to Mexico 😭😭😭 it'll be worth it tho holy shit you guys have no idea how much I YEARRRRNNNN to see this movie in theatres

[thelextheluthor]

APPARENTLY THIS IS NOT NEWS AND ITS BEEN PUBLICLY IN PRODUCTION FOR A WHILE?????? WHY HAVE I NOT HEARD ABOUT IT YET WHY MUST THE UNIVERSE KEEP ME APART FROM MEDIA THAT FUCKS HARD 💔

WE'RE GETTING AN AZTEC BATMAN MOVIE IN THE BIG 2025 AND NOBODY TOLD ME???????? The trailer came out like 2 hours ago but that doesnt matter holy shit I've watched it like 5 times already and I'm already shaking at the prospect

I cannot wait until September 18th I need this movie out NOWWWWWWW!!!!!!! Idk if its gonna be available globally but if not I might really have to get my passport renewed to go back to Mexico 😭😭😭 it'll be worth it tho holy shit you guys have no idea how much I YEARRRRNNNN to see this movie in theatres

[thelextheluthor]

WE'RE GETTING AN AZTEC BATMAN MOVIE IN THE BIG 2025 AND NOBODY TOLD ME???????? The trailer came out like 2 hours ago but that doesnt matter holy shit I've watched it like 5 times already and I'm already shaking at the prospect

I cannot wait until September 18th I need this movie out NOWWWWWWW!!!!!!! Idk if its gonna be available globally but if not I might really have to get my passport renewed to go back to Mexico 😭😭😭 it'll be worth it tho holy shit you guys have no idea how much I YEARRRRNNNN to see this movie in theatres

[thelextheluthor]

in light of the r/trans shitstorm, i'm speaking in solidarity with my fellow trans guys:

- you are not evil for being a man. your choices make you who you are, and you don't choose to be trans or a man. you simply are.

- you deserve the right to speak up about your struggles. you speaking up isn't "bitching," it's asking to be heard.

- you don't owe anyone passing. if someone tells you that you don't look or act "man enough", that's bullshit. you're man enough simply by being a man.

- you deserve respect. if people won't give you that, it's ok to cut them out or leave them.

- you are not alone in this. there are others who share your struggles and will listen to you.

- you are loved. if nothing else, i love you and i'm proud of you for still being here.

please, stay alive. keep your head above water. keep fighting. the world's a better place with you in it.

[thelextheluthor]

GAHHH I forgot how much I hate dodging spoilers for a movie I really want to watch (it's the reason I went offline for so long last time 😭😭)

Anyways I'm back! (Again)

This time I hope to have updates for fics I've been working on and maybe stay active for longer than like, a week. I have a lot of wips and I want to at least publish some of the one shots before I have to go back to school next month, so here's to looking out for that :)

[thelextheluthor]

[thelextheluthor]

Wait, wdym that’s not how that scene went? 🤨🤔

[thelextheluthor]

First post of the year (you'll never guess what game i just got into)

[thelextheluthor]

yes he’s the worst wolverine yes he’s Wade’s most specialest boy

[thelextheluthor]

The Honda Odyssey is to gay men what the Subaru is to lesbians.

[thelextheluthor]

Europeans really love to pretend Americans are the only benefactors of the transatlantic slave trade because they only traded slaves for 300 years as opposed to 350

Except the Irish. They remember. They get talked over, but dear god do they remember.

[thelextheluthor]

“Deadpool & Wolverine wasn’t gay enough”

we saw both of them repeatedly penetrating each other in the back of a Honda Odyssey and the camera specifically focused on the car rocking after a while before cutting to them passed out after said phallic penetration. then the pivotal moment of the film has the two men holding hands and listening to Madonna. were you asleep? because nothing about that was heterosexual.

[thelextheluthor]

Wdym this wasn't the ending. I watched the movie. This is totally real and canon 🙄