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[theloveslut]

To help others on a plane, you have to put your mask on first

We often forget that you truly will not be of use until you heal yourself first. I've found myself in situations where I hope the other person can heal me. It's shitty because it should be no one's job to heal you. If you go into a relationship warning the other person, "I need to check your phone because I got cheated on in my last relationship," "I'm hesitant to trust you because my last partner lied to me a lot," or "I'm insecure because my last partner made me feel insecure," sorry to break it to you but you are NOT ready for a relationship. When you get into a relationship, it is unfair to bring past experiences into it. Your new partner is NOT your former partner. I'm no expert; trust me, I'm currently on my healing journey, understanding all this for the first time. My downfall has been always talking to someone, whether it's been serious, a simple crush, or just fucking. I've never truly allowed myself to be alone and deal with all the shit I've dealt with in my love life. Sometimes, by constantly having someone, you forget to deal with the endings of relationships. Then, when you're finally alone, you feel all breakups at once. But you HAVE to help yourself first; if you work on healing yourself first, you will become aware of your worth, and you won't give your energy, time, and heart to the first person who compliments you. I've been giving my heart to people who showed they would not care for it. And this goes back to way long ago, but that's a story for another time.

Remember, on a plane, they always tell you to put on your mask before helping others. Apply the same rule to your life.

xoxo

[theloveslut]

I am a slut for Limerence

I've journaled these things before, but there's something about blogging on a page that makes it feel more liberating. This is my journey of looking for, experiencing, and losing love. I'm at a moment in my life where I'm not exactly sure what I'm looking for, I don't know if a relationship is what I need or want right now. But, for the first time ever, I've started dating. Dipping my toe in this chaotic dating pool. Seriously, why is dating so hard nowadays? I feel like men or dating, in general, get shittier by the second. No one wants to commit nowadays. But am I one to talk? I'm not even sure I want to commit nowadays. I don't know if it's the planets, my zodiac sign, or things I need to work through that cause me to automatically get engulfed by someone's presence. I'm trying to fix this, though. Learning detachment. I learned that most of the time, I feel "limerence." Once I actually looked into limerence, I thought, "What the fuck!" Limerence has a lot to do with not receiving attention or affection as a kid, so when you're older, you tend to praise or cling to someone who gives you attention, even if it's not much. You put them on a pedestal, ignoring some or all of their red flags. Your emotions and thoughts revolve around them. And these are Intense emotions, obsessive. Your mood becomes low if you don't see them or receive a text from them, but as soon as you receive that "hey" text, your heart skips a beat, life has meaning again, and you're... happy. Not to mention, most of your thoughts revolve around them, about the two of you together, fantasizing about what could be. I've been a slut for Limerence for the longest time. Once I actually learned what limerence was, it made a lot of sense. But learning about it has allowed me to begin trying to heal this part of myself that feels the need to fall into limerence. I'm currently on this journey, so join me. It will be an interesting ride.

xoxo