thereallivingded

[thereallivingded]

Crimson Spires

First of all, spoilers ahead. Stop reading now if you don't want to know.

So. In addition to playing toxic bulls#it games like Dead By Daylight (which I will discuss in another post), I have completed as much of the aforementioned VN Crimson Spires as I care to complete. When I say this, it simply means that I didn't go back and get all the bad endings. I just didn't care to? I have a feeling that whatever was in the bad endings might have soured me on the game completely, given what I now know about certain characters. So, let's get into it.

The premise is interesting. An FBI agent is detoured to the scene of a prisoner transport gone wrong in a little town called Bataille. The prisoner happens to be the prime suspect in a series of grisly serial killings - nicknamed the Heartbreaker. I'm sure you can guess why without me getting into details of the crimes - which are included in the game. Upon arriving in the town a strange event occurs locking the people of this town and the protagonist with it away from the rest of the world. Murder towers sprout up from the ground, gunning down anyone who tries to leave. 6 months later, you've been named the sheriff, babysitting the supposed Heartbreaker killer, and the town's various miscreants. But there's more to it all than meets the eye. Obviously. Cuz ya know, murder towers sprouting from the ground are not a normal occurrence.

There's a cult, but none of this subplot matters. There's a freedom fighter group, but none of that matters either. It all becomes exposition for the dynamics that develop between the characters. Which... I guess is fine? It's a otome-style VN sooo.. The interpersonal relationships between the characters are more important than the window dressings, I guess. Even though these subplots are huge glaring mysteries about the "The Contingency," ie "why things are the way they are." But no one cares in the end. Or at least the game's creators don't seem to care to explain it. Oh well. Sigh.

This brings me to my biggest complaint about the game. The hints about these mysteries are all there. Clues everywhere. But none of it ever comes together. Maybe I did miss something by not going back through the "bad endings." But I couldn't find the mental fortitude to slog it back through. Most VNs have features that allow you to speed up text in order to sling through content you've already seen. Not so much the case here. I tried to fuss through the settings after a couple play-throughs just reading and selecting choices - since I do like to get the full experience through most of the content I haven't seen. But the controls pushed to the max settings for text speed were still agonizingly slow. So no bad ends for me.

Through some very light research I have learned there are some references to other games in Woodsy Studios's repertoire. These are things I would not have known had I not dug a little. Do they offer insight into the greater mysteries of Bataille? I suppose that depends on your interpretation and level of understanding of those other games.

There are some other strange themes I feel I should mention. In one of the routes there is incest as part of a poly relationship in one very specific ending. And the insinuations that these two characters have an intimate relationship are rife throughout the game. /nausea.

Not to mention that one of the player character's romantic interests is well.. a serial killer. Not just suggested, suspected. He admits to it in his routes. And in others iirc? Just uhm. Yea. There's that. I'll just see myself out.

All in all, the game is atmospherically interesting. The visuals are pretty stunning, and give you a concrete sense of setting. The soundtrack and voice work are fantastic. I have to say that the New Game+ was well worth sticking it out through the routes to get to it. I honestly liked the New Game+ better than the rest of the game. Would I have liked it as much not having played through all the other routes? Idk. I can't answer that.

Bonus points for Michael Moorcock references though. Major brownie points for mentioning the Eternal Champion.

All in all, a fun experience. If a little uncomfortable in places. xD

[thereallivingded]

8 months

Nearly 8 months have passed since I blogged. Damn.

I apologize profusely if anyone was interested in my ramblings. I have zero excuses other than life got hard. Full time job. Which I hated profusely - not that I'm not going to be working full time again soon - tends to bring on crushing depression when I feel stuck in it. Which I did, and I was. When you are paid bi-weekly and you see that entire paycheck go to your cost of living.. well. It doesn't do good things to your psyche. Energy levels get low and all that extra you had energy for before gets used up with day to day survival. Getting out of bed. Getting to work. Feeding yourself. Cleaning your house. Squeezing in workout (a thing I do now).

It's not all bad I suppose. I've finally been able to interview for and obtain a position that will not only net me a raise but be closer to home. Hopefully, that should get me more free time to pursue the things I actually enjoy.

I'd like to say that in this time I've been able to tackle my backlog of Steam games. But. Well. BG3 happened. And I spent even more time in the game than I had in early access. It's maddening how much time I've sunk into Faerun. I have no regrets though.

The only thing really that's kept me from finishing my campaign - as I am in Act 3 - is my computer. I haven't upgraded the beast since 2020 or 2021-ish. And it's starting to show. My mobo is acting extraordinarily peculiar. Sometimes I'll walk away from my computer to come back a couple hours later and find it stuck in bios. Super fun. The connection to the mobo gets wiggled a little and everything pops back on. Super. However, anything heavy to run - like BG3 - tends to get very crash-y.

Again. Super.

T.T

AND. Due to my financial constraints because of the job I recently left, I was completely unable to fix this. I'm hoping with the advent of the new job, getting a few paychecks in to stabilize, I can rectify the problems. Hopefully.

I started a couple of fanfics for the first time ever. I am ridiculously shy about them. My writing skills have become so sodding rusty. The stories came to me while I was playing BG3 and I was compelled to write them down. Note now, that the frequency of updates directly reflects the time I have to invest in them. So keep that in mind.

Be gentle on me here lol!

I have been able to get some gaming done. I have ceased playing Back 4 Blood, as it became no longer supported by its dev team. A sad move really. The gaming industry as a whole has become this parasitic beast. Devs work on a game for an extremely limited amount of time and abandon it the moment it becomes less lucrative than their board of directors care for.

There is a trend towards monetization of minutiae and online play in inappropriate genres, that has become an insidious infection in the game industry. It robs us of good game development. There's this mentality of more, more, now that's just slow poison to the whole beast. It makes everything very same-y and boring.

Which is why I strive at this point in my life, to not give money to the companies which I feel are most guilty of this. The only way to make these corporations listen is to hit them in the $. As such I will probably be carefully curating any games I discuss or mention on this blog from here on. My next post will likely be discussing a visual novel I've spent some time in that I equal parts enjoyed and became frustrated with. So that's in the pipeline. Until then keep to the lights lovies. <3

[thereallivingded]

P-p-posting

I have been absent from my blog for some time. I've been rotating through hellscape jobs and desperately trying to keep my head above water. I still feel like I'm drowning most of the time.

There are days when I wish I could be like everyone else so much. Days where I wish it was easy for me to get up and do 9-5 without near panic attacks and general unhappiness.

In 2020 when I lost my mother I went through a super dark patch. I just feel like it has never left me. I'm constantly shadowed by the specter of that pain. It has made daily life that much more difficult for me. I had problems before but now.. Now, I feel like I'm constantly running on empty.

Personal BS aside. I've not stopped gaming. It's literally the only thing that brings me joy these days aside from my cats. My next post will be just about gaming I promise.

Mostly about simping for Astarion probably. Cus that's a thing I do now.

[thereallivingded]

OK, the new job..

..in short it sucks. I have been in training for over a month. It's a remote classroom, and the teacher is a hard-ass bout having the webcams on. Super ick. Like no joke, if you turn your cam off to get up and do anything without telling the whole group you're going they will kick you from the class. It's rude af.

From what I've been told by my actual supervisor, a lot of that should go away after training ends. But then, there's metrics. Yay.

And I'm now realizing that I've been doing a lot less creative endeavors since I started this job. Less writing for sure. And that kills me. I've had a lot less time to game as well. I'm going to push back against this big time soon. I'm stubborn like that. And I don't like being micro-managed. At. All.

I'm also coming to terms with the fact that I'm simply not a day person. I will admit I acknowledged this about myself a long time ago, but I'm proving it to myself daily.

For those who don't know (which is all of you) this new job was remote/work-from-home in the customer service area of health insurance. Now. I will be clear. I hate health insurance companies. Big time. Mostly because I believe healthcare should be free. There shouldn't be a price-tag on a person's well-being. I also believe that insurance companies have no business dictating what is best for a patient through their underhanded tactics of not covering services. Couple this POV with the fact that I don't like working underneath a microscope lens and you have a recipe for misery.

To rectify this, I've been applying for other jobs while in training. I do have some hopeful prospects in the pipeline. This just goes to show that my mind has been preoccupied with strategizing to efficiently play the capitalism game, (I have bills to pay, a need to feed myself and my family..) while balancing my personal needs and sanity.

A different game entirely than the ones I enjoy.

I have been hitting Back 4 Blood pretty heavy with the recent Halloween update.

My friend and I have been in this pretty deep. We even started Nightmare mode this past week. We're just finishing up Act I. I have been playing a few other games which I will discuss another time.

I've also been watching horror movies like a madwoman. I usually am watching them on the regular, but I'm definitely watching more lately. I do have a Shudder subscription after all. But, Fall is here. It's getting colder, and I do love burying myself under blankets with good snacks and indulging in horror films. They're my chicken soup.

I am a huge Hellraiser/Clive Barker fan. And if you are too, you need to make sure you watch the new Hulu film. It has something for all Hellraiser fans imo. The effects are pretty stellar too.

My only complaint is pretty minor. That is, they clearly had some amazing designers and artists working on this film. I wish the film's creators had taken the opportunity to create an entirely new figurehead for the franchise than a redone Pinhead/Priest. I have no problem with the female(?) slant. If cenobites even have gender. Considering the novella The Hellbound Heart never specified gender for any of the cenobites. I just feel that Doug Bradley's Pinhead should leave the franchise with Doug. There will never be another Pinhead like Doug. I wish the creators of the new film had taken the opportunity to create a new lead cenobite. A whole new character. All things considered, I'm not mad at Jamie Clayton's Priest, at all. I'm quite enchanted with the new cenobites.

Also, Terrifier 2 is making people faint and vomit. 😅

I mean, did anyone see the first movie? If it's anything like that, well... It's gonna be a gore-fest.

Now to try and get myself to sleep so I can not get kicked out of my training class tomorrow because I've nodded off. 🙄

[thereallivingded]

Pathfinder stole my life, Cult of the Lamb and Sense, A Cyberpunk Ghost Story

Legit folks. I'm in deep. I'm saving fanart on my phone when I find it. The obsession is real. I'm even diving back into saves when I make mistakes to fix things. It's engrossing. Or maybe I'm just a sad nerd. The complexity of the relationships and the characters is really what's sticking with me. The subtleties.

Aside from Pathfinder - which I may never finish at this rate - I've been doing a lot of gaming with an old WoW friend of mine. We've been playing a lot of Back 4 Blood. We've completed the campaign both on Recruit and Veteran. At this point I think we're just honing skills for Nightmare. Which I'm not sure I'll ever be ready for but we'll just have to wait and see.

I've also been dabbling with Cult of the Lamb and Sense, A Cyberpunk Ghost story.

Cult of the Lamb is pretty much exactly Hades. Only, you build a cult instead of well.. just getting stronger and "escaping hell." /shrug

The sad part is, I am absolute trash at this rogue-like gameplay. I shit you not friends, I was not built for rogue-like. Which is unfortunate as fuck because I really like the games. T.T

If rogue-like is your thing - and you're not a total potato like me - then just do yourself a favor and get Cult of the Lamb. It's really good. I also like the cartoon-y art. It always manages to give me a chuckle.

As far as Sense is concerned, it's reminding me a lot of Tokyo Dark. It has many similar mechanics. The only thing is that you have to run from ghosts. Something that wasn't a part of the mechanic in Tokyo Dark. I do miss my sanity meter though. xD Always been a fan of sanity mechanics. I'll have to dig deeper into it to get a better feel of the game.

One of the great things about being out of work this month has been catching up on games. I've also been doing a fair amount of writing. Which is absolutely amazing. I guess my muse can come off of the life-support she's been living on for the past two years. I have 3 separate stories brewing at the moment. One is almost completely outlined. Another I've just started writing - will probably end up being a short story or novella. And the other is really just skeletal concept at the moment. But I am encouraged and uplifted by the creativity I finally feel coursing through me again. I was beginning to think I was going to have to let that part of me die.

I have been struggling with making myself write a little every day. Sometimes it feels like the hardest thing I've done all day. Generally I feel better once I've pushed the words out, but damn does it mentally exhaust me. Despite that I'm grateful.

I'm realizing that I'm fighting through about two years worth of burn-out that I pushed myself through mentally and physically while working in healthcare. I'm spending a lot of time sleeping much to my own chagrin.

At any rate I won't have all this free time for much longer for my constant applications and interviews have paid off. I'm soon going to be joining the work from home population. I'm worried and excited about how this will pan out. I don't start for another two weeks. /keepinmyfingerscrossed

[thereallivingded]

Still alive here

I have been deep into Pathfinder: WOtR. OMG, it is so good. I didn't expect this. The breadth of the story is pretty impressive. It even boasts romances just like a Dragon Age game. Mine has not advanced enough yet for me to see how it consummates, but I am not complaining.

One thing that has been utterly liberating about the companions in the game is I'm not seeing approval ratings popping up every time I make some kind of significant or insignificant decision. Both blessing and curse -- because I truly don't know if there's a rating system in place and I'm just not seeing its effects on my companions. Whether I am or not, I feel very free to make decisions my character would make without worrying what x party member thinks about it. Some companions seem to have specific moments where making a completely evil story decision will cause them to leave your company. Those instances seem pretty clear however.

Most of the time I've spent with this game was with two characters I created. Halfway through my first playthrough of Act II, I decided to start over with a different race of character. It was becoming obnoxious playing a Dhampir despite the racial benefits. Anytime I was caught in a group heal my character would be hurt by holy-aligned spells, being undead and all. The second time through has been a challenge for sure. I may go back at some point and finish the other game with the Dhampir just for the experience.

So, looking forward, I pre-ordered Stray and I am so excited to play it!

Here it sits, waiting for date unlock! *hype intensifies*

Also, I found out earlier this month that Persona 5 Royal is coming to PC on October 21st! I'm finally going to be able to play it. As I only have my computer, my PSVita, PSP, and Switch Lite, I had gotten left out of Persona 5 when it was released. My wait for the Phantom Thieves will end this year and I am HYYYYPE. It's even going to be bundled with all of the DLC. Be still my heart.

My quest for mental stability continues. But with far more optimism than before. Mostly due to purging my toxic job, which was delayed until this month for reasons of financial origin. I'm looking forward to at least having some time off. Should give me some decent play time for sure!

[thereallivingded]

Gaming, good mental health, toxic jobs

I've had a rather extended dry spell in the gaming realm. There was a good solid month where I didn't touch a single game. Contributing factors were household projects, anxiety preventing me from enjoying even the simplest pleasures, and general exhaustion from all of the above.

I finally worked in some time and dove back into Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous. The game has turned out to be quite a gem. Granted it lacks some of the polish that BG3 has, but that doesn't diminish the story or my enjoyment of it.

I suffer from severe anxiety and depression. Part of that mix is panic attacks. Which have been astronomically worse of late. Part of this problem has been exacerbated by a toxic work environment. To explain the problem in the entirety you have to understand a few things about my work history. I first got into healthcare in 2010. It is certainly a different environment than it is today. However, even then the cracks in the framework of the machine were showing. I was in a clerical role then. Throughout the years, I found myself wanting to take a more active role in taking care of people. This led me to a tech position in an emergent care setting. For those of you who don't know, this environment is much like an ER. My facility had a lot of the same diagnostic equipment: ultrasound, cat scan, x-ray, lab. In my position, my responsibilities were as follows: perform EKGs, draw labs ie phlebotomy, apply splints and temporary casts or braces, cleaning wounds and bandaging them, be prepared for a life-threatening code BLS cert, placing patients on heart monitoring, taking vital signs, collecting fecal/urine specimens, everything a nurse's aide does and sometimes more. I was using this experience to try to decide if I wanted to further pursue a career in clinical care.

I wanted to then. I loved it. I loved taking care of people, and still do. I loved the satisfaction of working hard and coming home to rest after a day of good and exhausting work.

And then Covid happened. And in the midst of that my mother lost her four-year battle with cancer.

Yea.

That shit didn't go well for me.

Aside from my personal issues; the face of healthcare was changing rapidly. The cracks were becoming fissures. I could talk for hours, even write a paper on the horrific and negligent things I've seen in healthcare since Covid. It's appalling. Disgusting. And it's not something I want to be a part of anymore. This year, this month, I end my career in healthcare. I have finally reached the end. It's the best decision for me. I've monitored my own blood pressure for the past month and it is alarmingly high when I'm at work. When I begin to think about work I can -- and have -- worked myself into massive panic attacks. Not the little ones either. The kind that look like heart attacks and feel like 'em too. Unpleasant is too kind a word for it.

In the months to come I'm hoping for space to heal. For a modicum of sanity in what feels like a crumbling world.

Fingers crossed.

[thereallivingded]

Blargh

I haven't abandoned my blog I just haven't had time to breathe. And if I post anything right now it's just going to be a pathetic post about my ridiculous mental health issues. Cus the struggle is real.

I've been getting a lot of writing done. Well, at least until the past two weeks where I've been working stupid amounts of overtime for my "day job." Please kill me now.

Considering I hate my "day job" like most people hate a root canal it's been pretty fantastic. Except, not really.

I did get my Nintendo Switch in the mail which was pretty cool. I haven't been able to touch it yet, but the games I ordered for it came too. So far I have Café Enchanté, Olympia Soirée and Catherine Full Body. I'm super excited about Catherine because I played the original release on my PS3 and it was one of my favorite games. I loved how tongue in cheek and self-deprecating it was. It just made fun of dating games and relationships in general. Multiple endings made it a blast to play through multiple times. It's just one of my top fave games of all time. The Steam release was a disappointing wreck. There was just a severe lack of controller sensitivity that made the game nigh on unplayable on the PC. Super disappointing, that. Maybe it was my Steam controller? Idk.

I also read an ARC for Liv Zander or VK Ludwig, however you know her as an author. The book was pretty good. I really liked it. Once I receive some of the promotional images for the book I'll post my review here.

All I've really had time to do lately is read. And that is really only because I can get away with it during my spare time at work and no one really gives me crap about it. Thank fuck. The day they do, I might just lose my shit for real. Fingers crossed that day doesn't come.

I'm not 100% sure I'm going to finish Cineris Somnia. The completionist in me is desperate to; but the game is just sorta... boring. And clunky. I don't find myself terribly invested in the characters. I'll have to see where my spare time - what little I have of it - takes me.

[thereallivingded]

more Cineris Somnia, among other things..

I'm finally out of the wooded area in Cineris Somnia. Gosh. xD

These kids are obsessed with this blue bird my gods. The animal cruelty triggers in this game are real, and upsetting. That shit triggers me big time. I hate using that word, but legit. I'm that person who giggles at people dying in horror movies and has major meltdowns over the animals. It's a whole thing. I distinctly remember laughing out loud while watching Terrifier. I know, I'm a monster.

At any rate, we go through this minor trippy sequence where we learn some awful truths about what happened to this family. Apparently madness is catching. Not terribly surprising for the overall tone of the game.

And now we find ourselves in a mostly abandoned asylum. Color me shocked. /rollseyes

I'd act surprised if I actually was surprised.

I have no other exciting gaming news to share. I'm really hoping to get through Cineris Somnia this week. I won't say I've spent a ton of time with it. It's not really holding my interest like I thought it would, and my lack of enthusiasm shows.

I've spent most of my time doing some world-building for a couple stories I'm working on. Both are based in the same universe. I'm pretty excited about that.

I also bit the bullet and ordered myself a Nintendo Switch Lite. It's refurb'd, should be coming in the mail within the next couple weeks. I'm pretty into Otome games. Companies like Aksys are really only localizing for that platform since the PSVita is largely abandoned. I also ordered myself Café Enchanté, and Olympia Soiree, so I'll have something to play when it comes in. Otome is kind of like comfort food for me. I own lots of titles for my Vita.

Part of what takes so much of my time away from gaming and other hobbies is the life changes I've undergone in the past year. My husband and I bought a house. Unfortunately, the people who owned the place before us really neglected it. For the past year we've been ripping out carpeting/flooring, placing tiles, fixing walls, painting, re-pointing bricks.. I mean, it's never-ending. Couple that with a full-time job and you have a recipe for BUSY.

Most of my recreational reading gets done while I'm at work. Fortunately I have a job where I can do that when I'm not busy.

I'm already picking out my next "to play" since Cineris Somnia is proving to be snooze-worthy. I'm thinking something more active than a walking-sim this time. xD

Until then..

[thereallivingded]

Cineris Somnia

So this past week I started playing Cineris Somnia. For being released in 2018 it has some of the clunkiest mechanics I've seen in a long time. I felt very reminisced of Silent Hill 1&2 while trying to navigate the paths and buildings in the game. It's frustrating but nostalgic at the same time. Which is a little mental. But the game itself is just that as well. Mental.

So far, I'm following what looks like two separate narratives. The only cohesive thread seems to surround a brother and sister relationship. The brother somehow falls ill, resulting in the sister receiving less attention from the pair's parents. We appear to be picking up the pieces of this scattered narrative through bizarre dreamlike sequences.

I wish I had gotten farther in the game this week. I've been distracted by things in real life and not other games. Shocking. I know.

I became incredibly sick last weekend. I somehow got a severe case of food poisoning or a viral stomach bug. I'm leaning toward the latter. I was vomiting and having diarrhea simultaneously for six hours. 2AM-8AM. Once the hell of it was over (I stopped counting after the sixth time), I managed to snag about 4-5 hours of sleep. When I woke up I didn't feel much better, and started to run a hundred degree fever. At that point I had my husband take me to an emergent care where I received an IV, 2 liters of fluid, 2 doses of zofran and pepcid. After some labs it was determined my potassium was incredibly low from all the vomiting. They made me take some of that too. It was disgusting. Like cherry flavored chalk water. I almost threw up again from it. After that, I was released and convalesced in bed for two days. I was placed on a BRAT diet. Bread, rice, applesauce, toast. Those were really the only solids I could have. The rest was broth, jello, water, ginger ale. I'm finally back on solid food and feeling more like myself seven days later.

Sadly, gaming was the last thing on my mind. I did watch a lot of true crime documentaries while I lay in bed, sipping my ginger ale.

Should be getting back to gaming this week. /fingerscrossed

Although I did just spend 2 hours of my free time tonight cooking, cleaning my kitchen, and clearing out my fridge.

As usual, distractions abound.

[thereallivingded]

ESO

I have a sordid history with MMOs.

15 years ago my then significant other (now spouse) built me a PC. Yes, he built me a PC early into our relationship. I knew it was destined then.

I had played World of Warcraft back in the vanilla days. But he had bought me Guild Wars: Factions. I. Fucking. Loved. It. It is to this day some of my favorite MMO memories. The strangest part is, I often played alone. I didn't have a guild or friends around me who played as well. But, it didn't matter. Anything I needed to accomplish, I could do on my own.

I eventually went on to buy all the expansions and play through those campaigns as well. I was so immersed in the world and story. If I ever needed to feel connected to the community all I needed to do was park myself in a city hub and just watch the chat scroll. It was a good time to game.

Eventually WoW drew me back in like the heroin that it is. I did go on to play other MMO's as well throughout their heyday. Secret World, Aion, Allods, Requiem: Memento Mori, Tera, Rift, GW2.. This experience is probably a story for another time. I missed a lot of things around me because of MMOs. Frankly I'm lucky I'm still married.

These days I don't game with anyone but my husband when I do any multi-player. In 2017 we both purchased ESO and it's where we comfortably game together today.

We have both been equal parts in love/hate with the game. The world is indeed vast and character options are impressive. There are plenty of cons that I in particular have been forgiving of, despite the non-fixes that have been going on with it for years. Massively long loading screens, incomprehensible crashes, subscription service that locks you out of crafting banking features, etc...

I stepped back from it recently with no idea of when I'll go back to it as my version of the game seems to become unplayable. For a period of time stretching back to November 2021, I could not maintain connectivity to the game. I would crash without rhyme or reason. Logging in, I could crash 10 times within ten minutes, or manage to go an hour and then crash and not be able to get back on. My husband and I live in the same household and he does not experience these connectivity problems. Therefore ISP is not the issue (we've checked). I tried everything to troubleshoot the game. I uninstalled and reinstalled. I ran the repair tool available through the game launcher. Updated video drivers. The works. I did research. I wasn't the only one. And Zenimax, the company behind the game, didn't have answers for those of us experiencing this either. I'd like to say this is the first time this has happened to me with this particular game, but it isn't.

Now ESO releases a lot of content in a year. In 2019 alone they released one complete expansion and 3 DLCs. The expansion will typically include a new zone, with a new class feature of some kind, be it crafting or class related. You have 0 access to this without paying the expac cost of approximately $35 USD. The subsequent DLCs that year will be cheaper but if you are a monthly subscriber ($15 USD) you maintain unlimited access to those DLC's as long as you fork out money. This has consistently been their model since 2017. Amazing that they find a way to make you pay again for a game you already own on a yearly basis. I haven't bought an expansion in years. There's no time to enjoy one before the next one gets released. I simply don't have that kind of time.

Now, all of these expacs/DLCs require game updates. The updates come regardless of whether or not you paid for the content. And I can tell you from personal experience, it breaks major game features every single time. So, I wasn't surprised that I suddenly couldn't play with my friends. It's happened before. Disappointed, sure. All I can do at this point is walk away from it until it somehow fixes itself in a future patch. Others who have stated the same problems on forums have not received suitable responses from devs. There is no solution I've found aside from one person said they solved it by rolling back their Windows updates.

Ugh.

That's not gonna be happening for me.

So, I continue my journey through my bloated backlog. xD

I started Cineris Somnia last week, and I hope to finish it this week so I can move on to another title.

Time to go feed my geckos.

[thereallivingded]

Baldur's Gate III

I need a hot minute to talk about this game.

I haven't felt this way about a game since Dragon Age. That's saying something.

To date the only other games I've ever sunk hundreds of hours into were the Dragon Age franchise, Skyrim, and Final Fantasy. The game isn't even finished yet. It's still in early access. I wanna go read fanfic about this series. I wanna get its name tattooed on my chest forever.

When it fully releases, I'll probably need to leave a note for my family and friends. I'm obsessed.

The devs have been taking critique from the players and making the changes. My gods, it's amazing to watch.

Character creator is not crazy impressive, but it's good. Even without mods you can create amazing looking characters. And yes I did say even without mods. The very fact that you can mod it if you want..

All of the races, and from what I've seen subraces available in Forgotten Realms are here for your creation. With a variety of backgrounds to choose from. It just tickles my nerdy little heart. Totally played D&D in college.

Just like in DA, the decisions you make can influence your party members opinions of you through an approval rating system. Which can also lead to romance down the line. Interface is incredibly easy to get used to, comfortable to play. Also the number of inventive ways you can turn the tide of a battle with something simple: like shoving an enemy off a cliff instead of outright fighting them. Astounding. The amount of solutions you can find to a problem and the ramifications of doing things that are just plain evil.

It's engrossing.

I've been playing on and off through different updates since the early access opened in October 2020. I submit bug reports when I find bugs, and try out new content. The most recent update of note was the addition of the sorcerer class, and more content in the Underdark. Granted, things still need work. But Larian has been putting in the time. I can't wait for more. I'm salivating for it.

I am feeling the itch for this game again because I've been playing Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous and finding the combat clunky by comparison.

Mayyybe this is why I never finish other games xD

Distractions abound.

[thereallivingded]

Gamer vs. Backlog: Tokyo Dark

In line with my quest to conquer my bloated backlog and finish everything that I start; I am pleased to say that I finished Tokyo Dark this week.

During a hostage negotiation, our main character Detective Ito ends the crisis by shooting the unstable girl who has taken a shrine worker hostage. Following this her partner goes missing only to turn up in a Shinjuku sewer held hostage by the same girl she shot. After her partner ends up dead and with no witnesses or murderer to lock up Ito is suspended, badge and gun stripped. From here she goes on to attempt to unravel the events which led up to these supernatural occurrences.

Resulting themes deal in pretty dark topics, such as suicide, child abuse and endangerment with possible implied sexual abuse, cults, and death.

Throughout, you are maintaining Ito's sanity, attempting to balance it with other traits which will slide in opposite directions depending on the choices you do or don't make. You are even given pills to take (since Ito pretty much had a nervous breakdown following the first blown hostage situation) that are supposed to help manage your sanity and neurosis. Downside to this is it will decrease your investigative skill points when you take the pills. I only ever took two in my playthrough. Just to keep Ito this side of sane.

Despite the serious tone of the game there are some very anime moments in it. Such as visiting a cat-themed maid cafe while investigating. It's just laughably silly. I often felt that the art style of the game was in direct contrast to the serious nature of the story line. Good or bad? I wasn't crazy about the juxtaposition. But I really liked the story. And when you finish the game you open up New Game+ options which I'm actually eager to explore.

Overall I really enjoyed the game. There were some moments where my frustration would build. This game is entirely driven by mouse. You spend a lot of time clicking to advance narrative. And there are no save options!! A source of true frustration when I would realize I made a choice I was not crazy about and wanted to go back and change it. Progress is tracked through auto-saves, so if you've already passed a "point of no return" there is no going back. Oftentimes choices are presented to you in a direct manner. If you don't really look around and well.. investigate, you can make some really crazy decisions that hurt the people around you. And, of course decrease your sanity. There's a horribly little part of me that desperately wants to go back and do absolutely nothing to manage Ito's sanity just to see what happens to the story.

All in all, I would totally play this again. I've heard there's a cat god ending. And I'm 1000% a sucker for cats. The sad part is, I can't even remember when I originally purchased this game. My backlog is deep folks. I have a long way to go to catch up to recent game purchases.

Should I feel ashamed of this? /blowsraspberry

Who can say? I'm just glad I'm finally getting to some of these titles.

Will post again soon with updates on the backlog titles I'm playing through.

[thereallivingded]

Gamer vs. Backlog

I've been playing through my Steam library with the explicit purpose of trying to catch up on all the games I've gotten through sales. It's been an adventure that's for sure. I just finished The Letter, played one route in These Nights in Cairo (which was horrifically boring), and started Tokyo Dark.

At its heart The Letter is a horror visual novel that does an amazing job of characterization. So much so that making poor decisions that endangered the characters in any way distressed me. It was worth the play-through, albeit repetitive at times. Each chapter jumps the narrative perspective from character to character. Sadly this cycles through shared events in the game's narrative. Which.. gets pretty annoying. That being said, this game sorta reminded me a lot of the recent Netflix series Haunting of Hill House in A LOT of ways.

After playing through and getting one of the endings I declined to go back for more. I feel as though I got the experience. Maybe someday I'll go back for further endings.

Annnnd, this game.

Ugh.

I went through this phase where I would just grab VN's when they went up for sale. Clearly how I got myself into the massive backlog of unplayed games that I currently entertain.

I actually tried to return this after completing only one route. Of course it's been too long since the purchase and Steam refused. Because OF COURSE.

I found myself horrifically bored. Everything took too long to unfold. By the time the story got interesting, I simply didn't care anymore. Frankly I'm lucky I made it through a single route.

But the shining gem this week has definitely been Tokyo Dark. Or as I have been affectionately referring to it "Sanity Management, The Game."

This a point-and-click mystery/horror visual novel. The seriousness of the story is often at odds with the somewhat whimsical anime art style. It's pretty gritty. Your character is literally a fallen-from-grace police detective who has had some extraordinary sh*t happen to her and is trying to remain sane while investigating aforementioned events. There is an oftentimes hilarious sanity system that you have to manage, which I am in love with. I can't wait to finish this one. I'm having a lot of fun with it despite the bugs and graphical problems.

Further updates as I complete more games. I just.. felt this need to share my experience with my backlog in some small way. So here it is. I'll try to keep updates weekly.

[thereallivingded]

things i do in BG3

[thereallivingded]

😍😍😍

Astarion

[thereallivingded]

ESO - Darkshade Caverns I Veteran