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[thesecondplacename]

The Boy with the Bread

part 8

summary:

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I was left standing. He was always going to pick her, and I was the fool who kept hoping that he would someday pick me.

I left his home, carefully walking outside, I glanced around and my eyes found Prim. She was putting the fallen snow into a bucket rather quickly.

Walking over to her, “What are you doing?” I county help but be curious over what was happening.

“Gale, “ she seemed to think of something before continuing. “The Peacegards whipped him, he’s in bad shape. The snow, I have to bring it to him.” Gale? He was injured?

I followed Prim into her home, and everything felt like chaos. Katniss was a mess, crying and screaming. Peeta was holding her back, Ms.Everdeen, was working on Gale, who seemed to be dead. Blood was everywhere.

I couldn't breathe. I made eye contact with Peeta who only casted me a glance before turning his attention back to Katniss, she was bleeding. I shouldn't be here, I ran out the door trying to breath the smell of blood filled my whole being, Gale’s lifeless body was playing like a loop thru my mind.

I don't know how I made it home, but I did and quickly made it into my room.

It was too much, again I had gotten my hopes up, and again I was hurt, it was a never ending cycle of pain. And now Gale is bleeding out in Katniss' home, everything was too much.

I lost it. I threw my dresser onto the floor, ripped my mirror off the wall and smashed it onto the floor. Someone was screaming and destroying my room. It was me. I had completely lost it, everything had become too much for me to handle.

I don't know how long I was there for but I do know that once I regained consciousness, my entire room was gone, everybit of furniture had been completely destroyed. And I laid at the center of it all. I was sobbing, so hard that I didn't even notice that my room door opened. My mom had returned to see the destruction I made. She didn't yell or try to scold me for the mess, instead she joined me on the floor and wrapped her arms around me.

“Shh, baby it's ok, I'm here.” she spoke so softly as she held on to me so tight. “Let it out baby, it's ok, I can take it.” And she did as I sobbed into her arms. She didn't once loosen her grip. She didn't once let go.

“Why am I so hard to love, why is loving me so hard?” Why am I so unwanted? Why do people struggle so hard to want me?

“I love you, I love you so much (Y/n).”My mom spoke as her grip around me tightened. “Let my love for you be enough (Y/n).” I wish it could be. But it wasn't, and I think that she knew that.

“I’m sorry.” It was all I could say.

“It’s ok, as long as I’m here you don't have to shoulder this pain. As long as I’m here you will always have someone who loves you more than life itself.” I let myself break down in her arms, knowing that she wouldn’t leave or let go.

I don't know how long we were there together, but the sun was already setting by the time I had managed to pull myself together.

“You ok?” I looked into her eyes and she looked so tired, she must have just come home from working and saw the mess I was in. I felt so guilty she deserved her rest, but here she was taking care of me instead.

“Yeah, thank you mom,” there was something I needed to do. “I need to see Gale. the Peaceguard.” She seemed to understand, as she let me go, and pulled me up to stand with her.

“Go.” She spoke with a tired smile.

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Working on part 9 as I upload this!!

[thesecondplacename]

The Boy with the bread

Summary: Somethings never change.

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I froze, I could move. He was pressing against me so hard that I thought I would break. I didn't know whether I should pull him closer or push him away.

Before I had to make that decision he pulled himself away, he looked as surprised as I did like he hadn't expected himself to do that. I tried to speak but I was at a loss for words, what could I say? What do you say in a moment like this?

“I’m sorry (Y/n), I shouldn’t have done that.” Peeta pushed away from me. “I’m so sorry. You don't deserve this, you deserve so much better than this.” He was walking back and forth, “(Y/n), we can't.” “I love you.” I moved to grab him, and he let me. “I have always thought of myself as someone who didn't need anyone who could survive by myself. But you showed me that there is so much more to life than living in fear and waiting for death. Run away with me. Let's find a life free from everything where we can be together. Please?”

“(Y/n), I love -” the doors of Peeta's home were thrown open with so much force it felt like the whole house had shaken.

“Peeta, Katniss needs you.” Haymich was at the door, I looked at Peeta hoping he wouldn't go that for once he would choose me.

“She needs me, (Y/n).” That's all he said before he was out the door. I was alone again, I was broken again, it seems like nothing changes, rather it just repeats itself.

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Note: Sorry for such a short update, I'm using my mom's computer to write this.

I promise the nest update will be longer and it will happen very soon!!!

[thesecondplacename]

Title: The Boy with The Bread.

Summary: one last talk

Part 6

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I should feel nervous or even scared but I was filled with confidence and a wavering feeling of readiness. They had returned from the tour a day or two ago and I had let them settle down before I went to their home. The feeling of calling it their home didn’t leave a sick feeling in my stomach, it felt weird but other than that I was ok.

I was ready, I could do this, raising my hand I knocked and waited for a few seconds before the door opened. It was the man I saw when I first visited Peeta’s new home, he still reeked of alcohol, and he looked me up and down before he addressed me.

“Are you lost?” He was eying me with caution.

“Is Peeta home?” He gave me a slow nod before he went inside to retrieve him or at least I assumed that's what he was doing. He did return with Peeta who looked a little shocked to see me.

“(Y/n), is everything alright?” I couldn't stop the smile from forming. He was always so concerned for me. “Yeah, actually I wanted to talk to you,” I snuck the older blonde a quick look. “In private.”

“We could do that, Haymich, could you give us a minute.” Haymich gave Peeta a skeptical look but left the house to return to his own house, before Peeta invited me inside. It still looked lovely and lived in, more art pieces were hanging on the wall, as I made my way to the couch I saw that Peeta was bringing fresh pastries and sweet teas. Picking up the one decorated with pastel pink frosting, it tasted absolutely delicious.

“ Um, did something happen, I mean it's been a while since we last spoke,” We had left on messy terms. “ I thought that we agreed to never see each other again.” He’s not mean in the way he speaks instead it is spoken like a fact.

“We did agree to that, but I didn't like the way we ended things.” He seemed to understand where i was coming from. “It's been a while since we last spoke and I’ve come to terms with a lot of things, you didn’t deserve the way I spoke to you.” He looked like he was in pain, and I couldn’t understand why that was.

“I am really happy for you Peeta, and it was selfish of me to be so cruel to you especially after everything you’ve been through,” I took a deep breath before continuing. “You have found someone you want to spend your life with and even though it isn't me I’m happy for you, this is me apologizing for the way I acted I hope you can forgive me Peeta.” I gave him a shy smile.

The way he was looking at me was confusing, anger and a mix of sadness. Oh, I was too late. The apology was too late. I messed up and it was too late.

“Don’t apologize to me, please don’t ever apologize to me.” He was angry, I know I messed up but I still hoped that he understood and would forgive me.

I was hoping that he still held a soft spot for me.

"I know that I can never make it up to you," I wouldn't cry, I was done with crying. "But even if you hate me and never talk to me again please know I'm sorry for the way I acted." It was near impossible to hold back the tears but I did, I wasn't the victim here.

He got up, I thought he was going to leave and immediately stood up to apologize again.

The words never left my lips; instead, his hands held my face and I was frozen. My lips parted softly as a soft gasp left me. What was he going to do? The thought that he might hit me never crossed my mind no matter what changed between us he would never lift his hand against me.

Maybe he was going to yell and wanted to do it straight into my face.

He didn't do that.

Instead he did something worse. He kissed me.

‐—-----------------------

Apologies for any spelling mistake, my laptop broke and I'm writing on my phone. Updates are going to be even slower,,sorry!

[thesecondplacename]

Title: The Boy with the Bread.

Summary: Finally accepting things.

Part 5

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His hands were cold, I hated them. I hated the way his breath tickled my face as he was only inches apart from my face. I hated the way his hands felt on my body, they were wrong, they felt wrong, they didn’t hold me in the way Peeta’s did. I hated myself.

The sun had set by the time we arrived back at his house. I forced out a goodbye, and quickly headed home. Where I layed on my bed thinking about how I hate everything, Peeta, Katniss, Gale, and me. Why couldn’t I just forget about him? Why was my entire life falling apart just because he left me?

When the sun rose, I forced myself to find my place in life and I tried so hard to fit into that place. Gale had begun to distance himself from me, and I understood why what happened in those woods was not something either of us were ready for. But It hurt to be alone going through everything, he still had a connection to her, she still wanted him in her life, she wanted to fight for him. It wasn’t fair but I had shed enough tears and screamed enough for one lifetime over it.

I was forcing myself to heal and pretend like every step I took didn’t feel like I was dying. Like the slighted brush of wind wouldn’t topple me over. I was going to build my life back up, I was going to become whole again even if it killed me. Going to work selling my paint wasn't something that was profitable and wouldn't put food on the table, so I went into the mines and took out the tesseract. To be able to feed my family, I couldn’t be weak and crying all the time.It was cruel to my family and we couldn’t afford it.

That was when I had received the news.

Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mallark were getting married.

He was getting married, and it wasn’t to me. Of course I knew that we were over and that we would never get back together but it never really felt this real. We had once talked about marriage, the home we would make together, whether we would take in children or not. The life we promised each other after we aged out of the reaping before he was chosen, before he fell in love with someone else. I thought that I would feel pain and betrayal, maybe even anger but instead I felt nothing.

The wedding tour was beautiful, I had seen clips of it, everything was perfect from what I saw Peeta looked so happy as did Katniss. I was happy for them for the first time since the games. I felt nothing but acceptance. The burning pain of being not enough was gone. It was like my mind and body finally decided to let go of everything, let go of Peeta and the thought of not being with him didn’t bring unrelenting pain instead it brought an understanding that I never once thought possible.

It was a weird feeling, I loved him I don’t think I would ever stop loving him but I was ok. Although I would have been fine not seeing him again I couldn’t leave things alone, I could let that argument be the last thing I ever say to him.

I was going to see Peeta for the last time, and I was ok with that.

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[thesecondplacename]

Title: The boy with the Bread

Part 4

Summary: A final talk with Peeta.

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Here’s what I know to be true, Peeta liked or even loved Katniss at one point in his life, the feeling resurfaced during the games and while he still loves me, he also cares for her. That is one thing I know for sure; another thing is that the President is threatening both of them. He believes that the stunt with the berries was an act of rebellion against the capitol. So, if he and Katniss don’t convince all of Panem that they are just dumb teenagers that wanted to be together he’ll kill everyone. It is a lot to process, I don’t even know where to start asking questions.

“What does that mean for us?” It was selfish to ask especially with everything on with him, but I had to know where we stood.

“I love you, but I don't know what President Snow will do if he finds out that we are - were together.” Were is he breaking up with me? “I just want you to be safe and it has become very obvious that you won't be safe with me. “He wasn’t looking at me, he kept his head to the ground. I wanted to argue and say otherwise but what would be the point?

“So, this is it?” After everything we had been through. Was this the way we ended, forced apart by someone else. “You have to say it Peeta, or I’ll misunderstand what you're telling me.” I was being difficult; I know I was, but I couldn’t stop myself.

“Y/N,” he was struggling to form his words, I wanted him to fight for me, not just let the world tear us even further apart. "I think that it's best that we don't see each other anymore, I sorry,” he was sorry? “Please, leave.” I couldn’t believe him, how could he so easily just end our relationship, not even trying to keep us together.

“Fine, if that's what you want Peeta.” He looked so hurt that I almost want to take it back." Have fun with your new life and your new girlfriend.” I was being mean, it wasn't fair to him, but it hurt me that he was just letting me go like everything that we had meant nothing, like I wasn't worth fighting for. I had gotten up and left, before he could see me cry like an idiot.

Leaving his home, it felt like everything was becoming real. We couldn’t be together, we couldn’t get married, and we couldn’t grow old together. It wasn't fair, it wasn’t fair we deserved a happy ending. It was the least we deserved.

I don’t know how I ended up at Gale’s home, but I guess I understood that he was the only person in our District that could understand what I was feeling. After all he was now Katniss' cousin.

Knocking at his door I didn’t even know if he was home, I hoped he was because I needed the comfort that he had provided me during the games and even after the Games when Peeta was ignoring me. His mother had been the one to open the door, she gave me a kind smile, but immediately knew something was wrong and went to get Gale.

“Hey, what's the matter?” Gale's voice sounded so concerned, and it took everything not to break at the sound of it. “Mom, I'll be back in a bit.” He led me past houses and under the fence though the forest of trees, until we came to a clearing.

“We can talk here, free of prying ears, ok?”

“Peeta, he left me, he doesn't want me, he doesn’t want to fight for me.” I broke for what felt like the hundredth time since Peeta was picked as a tribute.

Gale has strong arms, warm and strong arms which he held me in. “He’s an idiot and doesn’t understand what he is losing.” I buried my head into his neck seeking comfort from the only person who could understand me.

“It hurts, it hurts so bad Gale.” Why doesn't he want to fight for me? He fought for her, he was willing to die for her, why couldn't he do that for me? “What's so wrong with me that he can't fight for me?”

“You’re perfect, anyone would be lucky to have you.” Looking up into his gray eyes there was a serious look in them.

“Anyone?” Does he mean himself? “Even you, Gale?” This was wrong, I shouldn’t be saying this.

“Y/N, you hurt and confused, you don't know what you’re asking.”

“So, you don't want me?” Why couldn’t I stop myself?

“I didn't say that.”

Gone was the boy with the bread. Gone was everything that made me happy.

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What do you think??? A very tragic end with Peeta, who to know if you get back together.

[thesecondplacename]

Title: The boy with the bread

Part 3

Summary: Reader finally gets to see Peeta.

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I had hoped when Peeta came home, he would be able to explain why he told all of Panem he was in love with Katniss Everdeen. That didn’t happen. Instead he was so busy doing tours and having interviews in the capital that it felt like he was moving on with his life and slowly moving - me out without even giving me a proper goodbye.

Although most people would have taken that as a sign that they were not wanted; I was not most people. So putting up a brave front as if I hadn’t cried and screamed over everything that happened during the games. I went over to his new home; he was no longer living in his family's bakery. When I knocked on his door, I expected him to open the door. I already planned how the conversation would go and as well as its resolution. He would open the door, I would force him to explain everything to me and if it was acceptable we would be able to move forward together. 

“Hello?” She opened the door. Why hadn’t I planned for her to be here? Why did I expect her not to be here? It was so stupid of me not to plan for her to be the person to open the door. I was left standing there lost for words.

 “Katniss, who’s there?” Peeta, his voice seemed to flow through the house, I needed to say something. She was looking at me like I was soft in the head. 

“Is Peeta home?” He was, but it felt wrong to ask for him. 

“I’ll get him.” before I could even say anything she was walking back into their house. I could do nothing but stand outside their door and try to calm myself. I could hear faint talking between them, as I stood outside waiting to see if Peeta would even be willing to see me. 

It didn't take long before she came back and with a different blond hair male, he was older and reeked of alcohol. They both excused themself before leaving me there. It was confusing as I didn't know whether to go into the house, leave, or just stand there like an idiot. It didn’t take long before Peeta himself came to the door to greet me, and invite me inside. It was nice inside, clean and well lived in. I could never even dream of affording something like this, I could work everyday and still would even be able to afford the cheapest couch pillow. 

He sat me down and brought me fresh pastries and a sweet tea. I couldn’t force myself to pick up a single thing. This felt wrong, everything was wrong, we weren't supposed to be here. The nice house with the lavish food and the expensive furniture, this was not the life that was meant for us. 

“I know why you’re here,” I couldn’t breathe. ”If you’ll let me explain, I can make everything better,” Why can’t I breathe? “ No, I'm sorry that was the wrong thing to say. I can make everything make sense, but you need to trust me and believe everything I'm saying.”  Why can’t I breathe, my chest hurts, it hurts so much.        

“Y/N?” his hand found me and slowly he brought me back to him. “Hey, are you back with me yet?” His voice was so kind and it made me want to cry. I slowly nodded my head in confirmation. 

“Listen to me when I say this Y/N, everything in the games was fake.” What?

“Everything?” Could he really mean that, was it all a lie? I could barely stop the smile from forming. “You never liked, no loved Katniss?” Please Peeta say yes.

“I can't say that I never had feelings for her, I won't lie to you Y/N,” I could live with that, I could. At least that is what I was telling myself.

“It’s hard to explain, but I’m going to try my best,” He was staring at me so hard, his blue eyes were almost hypnotic. “If you'll let me?”   

“Ok” because that is what we both deserve.

 ----------------------------------------------------------- -------     - Sorry, for such a late update. heh, here is part three!                                                              

[thesecondplacename]

Title: The boy with the bread.

Part 2

Summary: watching the games, and finding comfort

Warnings: mentions of committing suicide, and more angst

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He was gone, and I was left alone. As if that wasn't enough to be stripped away from him, we would all be forced to watch the games, to see the interview. I didn't know if I could bear it. How was I supposed to watch him up there?

As it turns out I was worrying about the wrong thing, I should have been more worried of having to hear and see him confess his love to the female tribute of our district Katniss Everdeen. It was confusing watching him talk about her in the same way he used to talk about me, how he looked at her like she hung the stars in the sky. She was beautiful, with her long straight black hair, gray eyes, and olive skin. I could almost understand why he said that he loves her, but we were together and had talked about having a life after the Games. It didn't make sense as to why he would be saying all of that.

A part of me hoped everything he was saying was a lie to stay alive for us, to come home to me. I could almost convince myself of that if it weren’t for the fact that the way he looked at her was so vastly different from the way he looked at me. Stronger, more intense. It hurt, it hurt so much to the point I thought I was dying, here I was waiting and praying for him to come back to me just for him to be snuggling up against her and kissing her throughout the games.

There was only one person who understood what I was feeling. Gale Hawthorne. I don't believe he and Katniss were ever really together, but he loved her just as I love Peeta. So as the games progressed we sought peace with each other, trying to understand what was going on in their heads. Everyday we would stand together to watch the games holding hands as a sort of comfort, afterwards he would hold me as the pain would be too much and I would end up crying into his arms and sometimes the roles would be reversed and it would be me holding him.

As the days passed we became closer than ever, once acquaintances to friends who understood each other in so many ways. The games were coming to an end and it was like a punch in the gut when we all found out that two tributes from the same district could be winners. Only for a second, just for one second I found myself wishing that I missed heard the change of rules because if two people came home they both would come home together and where would that leave me. After all, why would he want me when it was so clearly shown that he could only love her?

Gale kept a tight grip on my hand as we watched both Peeta and Katniss commit suicide together. My hand hurt in his grip but I didn't try to get him to let go as I was fastly becoming numb to everything around me, he would rather kill himself then hurt her he would rather die than come home to me. What did I do that was so wrong, at what point did I matter less than everyone else?

I was forced back into reality when I heard the sound of the games being over, they both were still alive. Peeta was alive, I couldn’t hold myself up anymore, my knees were so weak that I collapsed, or I would have if Gale hadn’t caught me as I was going down.

“He’s coming home” tears were falling. “Gale, I'm scared.” What did that mean for me and Peeta, for our future? —------------------------------------------------------------

Note: I'm having way too much fun with this story! Haha Part 2 is done.

Part 1 link

[thesecondplacename]

Title: The boy with the bread.

Summary: Peeta’s picked for the games.

Warings: Ang —--------------------------------------- Living in District 12 is the dream, no, really constantly being malnourished and worrying about being picked for the Hunger Games, it's a dream come true.

For all the sarcasm I spit out there is one thing that makes everything bearable, Peeta he’s the kindest man I know. Both of us have had a secret relationship for about a year, but it started long before I took the leap of faith and confessed my feelings to him. I make paints, not well but well enough that he trades a loaf of bread for half a dozen every 2 weeks. This exchange brought us close, and we got to know each other.

We both had a vision planned for our life. To get married when we aged out of the reaping, I was becoming more successful in District 12 making a steady income that helped feed my family and still have leftovers, scraps really but leftovers non the less. I was on good terms with his father and could hold a conversation with his mother, but Peeta, he was adored by my family. They absolutely loved him. We had a plan and only had to luck out a few more times and we were safe, or at least that's what we hoped would happen.

It doesn't matter how much you want something, how much you pray for something, sometimes you don't get what you want. I remember how my heart stopped when Peeta’s name was called, how I wanted to take his place but that look in his eyes stopped me, my entire life was overturned with just a single word. I was barely able to recognize that someone had volunteered, but when the district raised their hands in defiance I followed.

I was after his mother, she gave me a pitying look, and I knew that we hadn’t kept our relationship as good a secret as we originally thought. I walked into the room where he was standing, and almost burst into tears.

“Peeta,” I couldn’t think of anything to say, how could I give him reassurance that he would live when so many from our home didn't. “I love you, I love you so much. Please try to live, try to come home to me, please I can't do this without you.” I was crying.

He threw his arms around me and held me in a tight embrace. “You can, you can do anything you put your mind to, close your eyes when they show my death, you don't deserve to see me like that.” His voice was thick, he was trying so hard to say everything without breaking. “I love (Y/N). I love you, I’ll try, I promise.” We held each other trying to say everything before we were separated.

“Peeta, when you come home let’s get married, ok?” his blue eyes were staring at me so intensely. “Ok, let's get married after-” The peacekeepers came in before he finished.

We were separated.

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Note: This was originally only going to be a two-part story, but there is only a certain number of words a post can have so apologies in advance for the people who don’t like that, I’ll be sure to link all the Fics together so it's more seamless to read. To restate this story will have multiple parts.

[thesecondplacename]

Title: Misunderstandings

Summary: A misunderstanding, and a lot of unsaid words leads to a breakup.

Warning: None

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I couldn’t understand why he kept so many secrets. It hurt, the feeling of him not trusting me or the idea of having done something to be unworthy of his trust. And although I knew I hadn't done anything; he constantly reassured me in that area, he could always keep the bad thoughts at bay although not for long.

Tucking a stay of hair behind his ears, watching as he sleeps soundly his chest rising and falling. The thought had formed weeks ago and had left me restless. Slowly getting up in an attempt not to wake up Deek. Which had failed in all honestly it was a failed plan to begin with as his super natural hearing had alerted him the moment I had sat up.

“What’s wrong?” He was not truly awake and had hints of sleep in his voice, I had barely swung my legs off the bed.

Taking a deep breath, “ I think, I want to break up.” I wondered if he could hear the shake of my voice and the uncertainty of it. He sat up almost immediately.

“Did something happen?” He reached for my hands that layed on my legs, pulling away from his touch. It would be harder to do this if I let myself be held by him. If he spoke in the soft voice that made me want to stay.

“I don't think I love you, I - don't think i can, not in the way you want me to.” it wasn't the truth at least not the whole truth, if I said the truth, it would hurt him more than saying I couldn't love him in the way he needed.

“Where is this coming from?” looking up from where my gaze was fixed on (the wall where a dent layed from an unknown object) he looked so lost, like he couldn't understand where all of this was coming from like there hadn't been hint and signs, “Please, let's just talk about this, before anything else happens.”

I couldn't give him that, if I did then I would say the truth and then I wouldn’t be the strong one. I would fall to pieces, and I don't think I could put all the pieces back together. If I had to hear him answer all my questions on why he was always gone, and why he ditched me, why I was second when I put him first, if I heard about the other people, I would destroy me.

Instead of saying all my thoughts out loud, I smiled “I'm sorry Derek, but it's better this way, it's better for both of us if we ended it here. I’m a hundred percent sure that you'll find someone that can be there for you, you are a great man and,” I was rambling, taking a deep breath, and slowly letting it out. “I’m going to go”

He looked so hurt, it made me want to hold him, but it would defeat the whole purpose of breaking up with someone if I went back to him, so I grabbed my things and left. I wanted until I hit my first red light; I broke down, unable to hold back anymore, I needed someone who would be there, and he needed someone who could understand.

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Might make a second part were, everything gets resolved.

[thesecondplacename]

Title: Immortality

Summary: If you let me consume you, the world would pay for it.

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It hurts. I loved him first and I'll be the last person to love him. With all my years and my never aging appearance, my curse to love so much it consumes my whole being and sets it ablaze leaving me with nothing but the ashes of what could have been if I wasn't me. 

Mortality, something that struck fear into so many people, a reminder that the clock never stopped for no one, the constant reminder that at any chance they could die. Immortality, people have gone to war and killed just for a chance at having it. I wished with every fiber of my being that the next time I looked into the mirror I saw the signs of wrinkles and the imperfections that come with age, but my prayers fell on deaf ears for any God that listened could not hear my shout and pleases, I didn’t have a soul that any being could save. When you have outlived dynasties and empires, seen water turn into land, and been fought in every war that came about, you no longer have a name, have no origin, just a nameless face among a sea of people. 

A long time ago I came to the realization that loving someone could only cause pain, for when they die, and so many years had passed I would no longer remember their face, their mannerisms, what made them laugh, I no longer could remember who I pledged my heart to. The pain of their death and only an abandoned grave with a name that was no longer legible, it was like they never existed and the faint memory of a laugh or soft touches were the only thing left but soon that would disappear from my mind and the pain would stay knowing that I loved a ghost.   

No matter how hard someone tries it is impossible to make your body do what your brain wants instead of your heart. The way heat would rise to my cheeks and the way my stomach would come alive with butterflies, all the signs were there and it only made it harder to stay away. His laugh was contagious and he gave his smile out like it was halloween and I was a child, gentle touches that left marks that burned and imprinted onto my skin. I was in love with a man named Richard John "Dick" Grayson, and I would do everything in my power to destroy that, the man that lighted up the dark clouds in my life, someone that made the pain of living bearable.  

It was hard pushing away someone who wanted to stay, I tried to be hurtful and make my words turn into blades that left wounds so deep that they would scar. But every time I opened my mouth I couldn’t be as mean as I wanted, the thought of destroying  a light so bright and glorious that made people stop and wonder if the sun had come down and taken human shape. The only thing that I could do that would not destroy that light was to leave in the dead of night far away for Gotham and everything that had to do with him, China or Brazil, something that would not remind me of him of the smile that made me stop and hold my breath. Because if I stayed and let myself have him I would consume him and everything he gave me freely, and if that happened, if I engraved a place in my heart and let my whole being be set ablaze by him. Then to only lose him to time, having to hold his body as age took him or if I lost him sooner than I was meant to I would burn the world in my madness, no one would be safe, men, women, and even children would feel my pain for generations.  

I would make the world remember the soft smiles and the soft touches, I wouldn't let his grave be lost to time, I wouldn't let him be lost to time. I had given so much of myself to him. I don't think he even understands how much I have given to him, it’s not normal to love like this and it was dangerous. So I did the only thing I knew, I left without  a trace, I wanted to be remembered only as a bad dream and nothing more and hopeful in a new millennium I would no longer remember the love he so freely gave to someone so undeserving.  

[thesecondplacename]

Title: Is it like a sex thing?

Summary:nothing could make you stop loving your big ol’ puppy.

Warnings: none —----------------------------------------- Truth be told I should have realized that there was something wrong with Scott but who could in their right mind guess that he was a werewolf?

The possibility never crossed my mind, no I thought he was a vampire which made less sense than the latter but could you fault me for making such outrageous theories?

Never one to back down from a challenge I thought that in time everything would work themselves out but I was right in that account and in almost everything else I suppose.

English class was slow and I couldn't focus for the life of me, my mind was working and focusing on how our talk went. Nothing prepares you for when your boyfriend says that he is a werewolf, and what do you say to that? Thanks for the information? Cool? Nothing just stared blankly at him, that might have been better than what I did.

—---------

"Scott this is totally not creepy at all," he had dragged me into the woods which would have been less creepy if it wasn't midnight " this couldn’t wait till morning?"

He finally turned to look at me, and he seemed nervous and a little jittery. Grabbing his hand I gave him a soft squeeze trying to get him to relax.

"What I'm going to tell you is going to change everything, and I need you to stay calm" I could feel my mind working trying to figure out what could have made him this winded up. Worried, I tried to give him a reassuring smile.

“Whatever you need to tell me it won't change anything,” still holding his hand I walked closer to him “unless you're planning on breaking up with me then, killing me so as no one else can have me. Then I suppose that thing would be awkward between us.” He finally cracked as smile

“Well, no um what I want to say is that, um.. Shit, no” Laughing at him, I could understand why he was so nervous, nothing he could say that would make me stop loving him.

Flashing a shy smile, he took a big breathing in and slowly let it out and spoke more camly “Imawerewolf” he had said it in on breath, it had taken me a second to process what he said.

“Ok, that's fine. I don't judge if that's what you're into” it was a bit weird but if you love someone then you love everything about them. It wasn't the weirdest thing out there, was it like puppy play? Or more did he like too pretend to be a dog in a non sexual way?

I was too caught up in thought about how to process the information he just gave me, to see how red he had become. Did he want me to also pretend that I was also a dog? Did the size matter, could I be a Lab or maybe a chihuahua? I finally managed to pull myself together and look at him, he looked so embarrassed, had I taken too long to respond or was he expecting more? So many questions and not enough answers.

“NO, sorry, no that's not what I meant, I am a werewolf.” Ok? Was this a thing he just did, maybe I should call him mom she was a nurse this could be like an illness. “ I was turned by a bite, I'm an alpha, a true alpha. Derek hale he also a werewolf, and all our friends with the exception of Stiles.” Too much information was given at once.

“Oh, why isn't Stiles one?” It seemed like a mean thing to do if you were going to be playing wolves then why not all be wolves? “Did he not want to be one, is this like a pick and choose situation, why are there true alphas? Do I have to play along, because I could handle the sex thing but with a group it would be a little to much for me to handle. Not that I don't support you, I just am not into role-playing at least that hands on.” I hoped that this wouldn’t make things awkward in our relationship.

“(Y/n), this is not a sex thing and Im not playing make belive, im a werewolf.” he lookes so servous like he real was a werewolf…… LIKE WAS A WEREWOLF.

“What, you are a dog, like you transform into one and get on all fours?” My mind was spinning and the information was too much. A werewolf. What the hell was my life, what the hell was his.”Like you're not joking and Stiles is not going to jump out and yell that this whole thing is a prank?” He looked small and scared and I could feel my heart practically beating out of my chest.

“I would understand if you can't handle this. If this is too much.” handle this, handle what? That my boyfriend was a supernatural being? Or that almost all our mutual friends are werewolves? “I trust you, and if you want to leave and never talk to me that fine”

“I love you,” he gave me a shocked look, that might have been because it was the first time I had said it. “I love you Scott Mccall, if you think being a werewolf is going to scare me off then you haven't been listening to me. You could tell me you wanted this to be a sex thing and i’d be willing to give it a try because you are the only person I want to be with, do you understand?”

He was laughing and the next thing I knew I was being pulled into a hug. So, what if I had a big ol’ puppy for a boyfriend who already acted like one. There wasn't a big difference from an hour ago till now.

---------------------------------------------------

So much dialogue... :[

[thesecondplacename]

Title: Summer Love

Summary: Loving someone for at least one summer is enough.

Warning: cheating

—----------------------------------------------------------

The first time you met Baxer Ward charming was an understatement, he never seemed to do more than anyone could handle. It could be that he was a new neighbor or just a new face but non the less he piqued the interest of everyone that met him, especially you but on the other hand Cove didn't seem to be interested in him, in fact Cove could even go as far as say he didn't like him.

Baxter Ward, funny, cute, and smart but thinking about him in such a way made you feel dirty wrong in a way that couldn't be put in words. The reason for such feeling and thought was that Cove was the only one that you should be thinking about in that way but here he was so willing to do anything that you allowed him to do.

There was a word for what you were doing cheating, but it wasn't like you were really cheating you hadn't kissed or done anything like that. Mosty talking and holding hands which didn’t make you feel as terrible as it should. Instead, it made you feel alive like sparks were flying off you and butterflies in your stomach, nothing even close to what you had felt with Cove. Baxter understood you in ways that Cove never could. It came easy to you with Baxter.

But no matter what you felt with him breaking up with Cove was out of the question there were a million reasons that you could think about not to, but Baxter could be so convincing telling you that your happiness should come first, that you should never have to settle because it was expected of you. The truth was you wanted to leave Cove and run away with Baxter but the thought about how it would crush Cove and how your parents and Coves would react immediately dashed away anymore thought on the matter.

The summer was coming to an end, and your relationship with Baxter with it. Cove had been none the wiser about everything going on. Truth be told he probably didn't want to assume that you would ever do something that would destroy everything that you two had built together, but Cove hadn't truly known you. The secrets that piled up and suffocated you were never ending. But you could forget about it all once he left, you could try to make yourself love Cove in the same way he loves you.

The last time you would see him was when your moms made you drop off cookies, with a note that thanked him and wished him a lovely life. Heart pounding as you couldn’t even knock on his door, you dropped the box on his doorstep and left it there with a letter of your own, hoping beyond hope that he’d understand where you were coming from. The heartbreak was like nothing you ever felt before, cold and painful. It felt like someone had sat on your chest and at the same time your knees had gone numb, your hands were shaking, every part of your body wanted to run back and run away with him.

The night had come to an end and you had brought Cove to poppy hill against every part telling you that breaking up with him was a mistake you could pretend and if you did you could never make Cove happy in the way he deserved at least if you left him he would move on and find someone else and be happy, that what you needed to convince yourself that what would happen at least.

As you sat down with him the moon was in full bloom, the wind gave a gentle breeze and it was almost too perfect like life was trying to convince you that what you were going to do was a mistake, but you had to put yourself first at least once in your life.

“Will you marry me?” He spoke so softly and you couldn’t be the one to make him stop smiling, so what if you're unhappy at least he’ll be happy.

“Yes” as tears fell you could try to love him in the way he deserved.

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry for not posting, this one's for anyone playing Our life, it SOOO good 10/10 would recommend

[thesecondplacename]

Title: A last Goodbye

Summary : writing a goodbye letter.

Warning: major character death

—————————————————————-

The truth of the matter was that no matter what anyone did, everyone dies. It’s not like I’m being pessimistic or a downer, it's the truth and I’ve had a long time to accept that long before I’ve joined the scouts and promised my life to them. But every now and again I am struck with fear about how I die. I want to die fighting, not begging for my life at the hands of a titan or anyone for that matter.

But for as long as I've been alive I don’t think there has been a moment that I’ve truly been in love; that makes no sense in it’s own. What I want to say is that but I never cried for anyone that I’ve lost. It might make me a monster and an emotionless human but I can't remember that last time I’ve truly wanted to protect someone. I Protect my comrades but more out of sence duty more than anything.

I don’t think I have ever thought I would end up sacrificing myself to save someone, that wasn’t an order but my own free will. Truthfully I can’t say I regret it not even for a moment and neither should you. To say that I would do it again in a heartbeat is an understatement. The moment I first met you I think I began to understand the ‘love at first sight’ corny I know but the truth nonetheless.

You came into my life and turned it upside down and I can’t help but thank you for that. My dear the moment I die to the moment I’m reborn I’ll forever love you and in my next life I’ll long for you, always searching for you. In my absence I expect you not to mourn me, you're too strong to let my death destroy your life, I can’t say the same though.

These might be my last words to you and I have no clue on how to end this letter. Should I thank you for all that you gave me or for making me realize what love truly is? I don’t know but if my life has taught me anything it is that we are never truly saying goodbye. But I hope in another life we meet and can truly be happy ever after.

- My heart

As I tuck the note away knowing that he’ll find it when he goes through my things. The mission was my last and knowing it will save many lives was not what I cared about, if I took the mission he didn’t have too, and that was enough for me.

————————————————-

Note: very sorry for the short fic.

[thesecondplacename]

Hi, I was wondering if you could do Sebastian from stardew valley with a male reader asking them out? Like Sebastian can't believe that someone would ask him out, and it's just really fluffy. :)

Title: Picnic

Summary: inviting Sebastian on a date.

Note: Hello!! Just reading this made me so happy, love the idea.

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I had been pinning after Sebastian ever since I had moved into my grandfather's old farm house, spending almost all of my time flirting with him and trying to get his attention.

But all of it was ignored, nothing I did seemed to interest him. No amount of flattery of lavish gifts seemed to make him turn my way; it just seemed to irritate him.

"Sebastian you look lovely today" his face turned away but I could see his ears turn bright red.

"Would you do me the honor of letting me take you on a date?" Smiling at him, he looks ready to run.

"Fine, let's do it." I tried not to show my surprise at his acceptance, instead breaking out into a huge smile.

"I won't disappoint, meet me at the beach at 6." I had to stop myself from pulling him into a hug out of pure excitement.

---------------------(timeskip)----------------------

I had set up a grand picnic, a blanket, a throw out sandwich, fruit, and punch. I had gone all out. My heart was beating so fast, I couldn't hide how my hands were sweating. I could only think of how I could mess this up.

Rearranging the flower I had gotten him, I was too focused on it to notice that Sebastian had arrived.

"Hey," snapping my head around, I could see he was standing right their; scratching the back of his neck " this is really nice of you." I could see the fant redness of his cheeks.

" I'm glad you like it. I kinda went all out." Nervousness seemed to be pouring out of me like an overflowing cup, I wanted him to like everything.

" I wasn't sure if you were joking or not." Confusion swept throughout me as I tried to understand why he thought that.

"I don't understand," why would he think that? Had I given him the impression that I was just playing him.

"I mean why would you want to be with me when you have so many more options? It's not like I'm that special." Hearing him say that had felt like a punch to the stomach, why didn't he see what I saw?

"You're beautiful." He snapped his head in my direction at that. " I mean that if I didn't like you I would have done all this, I care about you Sebastian; trust me on that."

Tears had formed in his eyes, reaching out to him and pulling in a hug. I could hear his sniffles slowly smooth out, as I gently rubbed his back.

Pulling his face towards me, wiping away his tears, smiling softly at him. Words could not describe what I felt for him.

"Let's enjoy this." He broke into soft giggles, his smile made my heart beat ever so fast.

"Let's."

[thesecondplacename]

Title: Honeymoon

Summary: You and Ushijima decide to finally to do it after waiting for so long.

Warnings: Smut

Note: Hello! I did change apart of the request, I do hope that you don't mind. The part I changed was that the have sex after the get married.

---------------------------

The wedding was very formal, the Ushiijima family had planned the whole thing as well as paid for it. My family wanted nothing to do with the wedding or me after finding out that I wanted to marry a man. It had hurt and was something I tried not to think about too much, wanting to focus on wakatoshi and the wedding.

Seeing him in a traditional japanese wedding dress, he was dressed in white with a white head dress. I worn a black kimono with a red slash, this was something the Ushijima family was insistent on traditional, traditional, over and over again the relief that the wedding was over was something that probity should have been replaced for sadness, but the it had been a long day and we were finally able to relax and bask in each others presents. The Ushijima family had set us up in a vacation home, in the mountains for our honeymoon.

“This place is beautiful, why were you hiding it?” I could help but joke as we put our things away.

“ It was never brought up.” smiling at his monotone voice.

As we both finally got to the bedroom, the mood was not set at all. It probably had to do with the experience that neither of us had. I had studied and researched how to do it without hurting him, it had been embarrassing but I was determined to not to mess this up for either of us.

Sitting on the eag of the bed looking at Wakatoshi put away the rest of our things, as he loomed over me I pulled him until he trapped me with his thighs. I could see the way his cheeks turned bright red as I wrapped my arms around his waist.

“Wakatoshi I love you, I have waited so long to have you be mine.” Letting my head rest on his chest. “ I can't wait to wake up to you everyday for as long as you’ll let me.”

Pulling him into a soft kiss, slowly getting more heated letting my hand roam his body. Slowly pulling Wakatoshi shirt off before going back to our heated makeout session. Pushing his body back onto the bed as I hovered over him, letting my hand rest on his cheek as I pressed kisses down his body until I reached his belt. I could hear his soft moans and grunts.

“(Y/n) please.” His voice sounded so broken and I haven’t even done anything yet.

“Wakatoshi look at you so perfect for me, and I haven’t even touched you.” Teasing him as I pulled off his belt and removed his pants. He placed his hand on my chest stopping me.

“(Y/n) it’s embarrassing being the only me naked.” His head was turned to his side, his face a lovely red.

Taking off my own clothes, so we both were naked and continuing what I was doing. His moans and grunt were the only thing I could hear, not even bothering with my own pleasure too focused on Wakatoshi, holding onto his hips as I slid into him as carefully as I could trying not to hurt him. Finally bottoming out, slowly moving until his soft moans became so loud, begging me to move faster and harder. Until we came, softly pulling out hearing him whimper as a result.

“Are you ok Wakatoshi?” I couldn’t help but worry, this was our first time I didn’t want to hurt him.

“I’m fine, just tired.” Pulling away from him to clean him up.

After coming back from the bathroom he was already asleep, I couldn’t help but smile at Wakatoshi, letting my hand push his hair away from his face and pressing a kiss to his temple.

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I have come to a realization that I'm not good at writing smut, request at your own risk.

[thesecondplacename]

Bts:

Seokjin-

In the crowd

Yoongi-

Pictures

Starting again

Namjoon-

Love

Jimin-

12 month in a year

Jungkook-

Fight

Hoseok-

Well what if wasn't?

Haikyuu:

Ushijima

honeymoon

Harry Potter:

None

Attack on titans:

Levi

A last goodbye

My Here Academia:

None

Naruto:

None

Stardew Valley:

Sebastian-

Picnic

A new arrival

Death Note

Note

Our Life: Beginnings and always

Summer Love-Baxter Ward

Teen Wolf

Scott Mccall

Is this a sex thing?

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If any problems please message me so I can fix.

[thesecondplacename]

Hi! I just found your blog and I really like it ☺️

I love Sebastian from SV and I have one idea in mind for a long time 😅

So... Seb x son of Rasmodius (and also Abby half brother)

If you don't like it - just ignore

Stay cool~~✨✨

Title: A new arrival

Summery: Moving to to your grandfather old farm, wanting to become closer to your father.

Note: Hello! Thank you for the ask, i hope you enjoy.

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Having moved to the old farmhouse was a new experience, Robin had shown me around meeting the town people. They were an odd group of people but a close knit community. The farmhouse was a sight the years had weathered it down and no longer held its former glory.

Deciding to go see my father I had made my way to the plaza going up to the first person I saw, in hopes of finding where to locate my father’s house. The first thing that got my attention was a man with shaggy black hair, a large part seemed to cover over half his face, and he was alone.

“Hello there, do you happen to know a man named Rasmodius?” Jumping at the sound of my voice, he snapped his head around. I got a good look at him, he wore all black and his dark eyes eyeing me up and down.

“You mean that old wizard guy?” I couldn't contain my laughter at that, wounding if that was what he was known for. Smiling at him I could see blush rising on his cheeks.

“Yes, that ‘old wizard guy’.” He turned his head to the side and scratched the back of his neck, embarrassed that I mocked the way he addressed my dad.

“Yeah, he lives past the place that sells animals, hard to miss the big old tower.” He seemed to debate something before speaking up. “You’re new here, right?”

“Yeah, I just moved here, I wanted to get closer to my dad. I wanted to get away from the cities too loud you know?” Trying to relate make conversion.

“You’re dad?” His eyes widened at the resistion.“The wizard is your dad! I’m sorry I didn’t know.” His face turned bright red.

“It’s ok you met no harm, but if you want you buy me a drink” It was my turn to blush at my own boldness.

“Ummh, have a drink with you?” It was like the thought that I would ask him out was outrageous, by the way he seemed to look at me like I was joking with him. “That's not funny.”

“I wasn’t joking?” confusion swept through me. “Excuse me if I come off as rude but I mean it and I actually have to get going. My dad is waiting for me, but if you do come around to agreeing to go out with me feel free to stop by.” Smiling softly at him before heading off.

He looked at me like I just gave him a difficult puzzle to solve, waving him bye before leaving and slightly hoping that he would take me up on the offer to go out.

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