thesnapewecandreamof

[thesnapewecandreamof]

Okay! Time for my self indulgent head cannons.

Severus Snape took very few students for his N.E.W.T classes which was kind of obvious as passing Potions O.W.Ls with an Outstanding was almost as easy as Chudley Cannons finishing top of the list in Quidditch. But whatever nefarious schemes Minerva McGonagall seemed to cook up against her Slytherin colleague, the infuriating man just wouldn't budge.

He would give his best to the best and nothing to any lesser than that.

And that was precisely the reason why very very few students have seen a completely different version of Snape. He hadn't become warm and kind and cuddly all of a sudden but there was an almost unearthly spark of razor sharp intelligence in his usual sarcastic verbose and a surprising burst of passion in his lectures which reminded his students that the Slytherin Head of House quite deserved his sterling reputation; in academics that is.

And those few super intuitive and rare assortment of Ravenclaw, Slytherin and the occasional Hufflepuff and Gryffindor students finally manage to see past that bitter mask into the mind of an insanely genius and a wildly humorous man.

Severus was a little lose tongued with his N.E.W.T students much to their collective delighted surprise.

The man was a glacial vampire if there was one but Merlin the man was funny.

A weird kind of stoic deadpan homicidal humour but hilarious nonetheless.

Snape: ...and Mr. Haleberry is going to suddenly and violently lose his family jewels by the end of this class.

Haleberry: why sir?

Snape: would Ms. Ivanosky do the honour of explaining that if she is done staring at Ms. Sharma's lips?

*Vishakha Sharma hiding her red face in her manicured hands*

Ivanosky: *blushing madly* if you mix Vampire Bat wings to salamander blood in presence of a basic solution than your potion would explode instead of turning crystal blue like it should.

Espinoza: but what has that do with Haleberry's balls sir?

Snape: everything. Because that will lose him and his partner's entire project marks and I don't think Ms. Daniella would be very forgiving.

*Haleberry gulping and Daniella smirking nastily*

Snape: focus dunderheads, this is just the beginning.

Carthwright: Professor why did our solution turn purple ?

Snape: Ask Ms. Lopez whether staring at my arse was worth the trouble of putting cockroach's brain in the cauldron instead of its feet.

Lopez: In my defense it is a very nice arse Professor.

Snape: Climbing up and down a gazillion stairs twenty times a day would do that to anyone's derriere but thank you.

Beaufoy: *snickering* Lopez prefers ze arse is it?

Lopez: Just like you who prefers the cock Francois.

Beaufoy: que préférez-vous professeur?

Snape: pourquoi ne demandes-tu pas à ta mère Francois?

Beaufoy: wha...

Snape: The Contessa was very fond of Ancient Gaelic Romantic prose...mid coitus that is.

Beaufoy: but.. but my mother was betrothed when she was only nine...

Snape: The Count loved to watch.

Sharma: *snorting and choking like the rest except Fracois Beaufoy who looked rather green* Did you fuck all the Slytherin students' parents professor?

Snape: Most of them, there might have been a few Ravenclaws and atleast two Gryffindors.

Haleberry: Impossible! Gryffindors! No fucking way..

Snape: *looking thoughtful* Richards Madden had quite powerful legs, I still have a bruise in my left hip. And Black maybe a bastard but his cock was definitely larger than that of his brother's.

*pin drop silence in the class*

Snape: Can we get back to lesson. I have a five o'clock with the Headmaster and I need my mental facilities intact for concocting the next suicidal operation hopefully without any forced interaction with lemony sugar monsters.

The entire class bursts out laughing, of course he is a secret spy.. but Professor Snape is so bloody funny! Snape smirks oh so very lightly. Somedays he loves his vocation..

[thesnapewecandreamof]

Real talk for a quick second asking for a friend- I’m the friend. If you know me you already know I love me Some James but like

Why do people forget that whole “Date me and I’ll stop bullying you friend, Evans. If not I’ll keep going” thing?

[thesnapewecandreamof]

Snape except he accidentally spills tea on himself

Like any good spy, Severus wanted to make sure he can avoid any possibility of being discovered. He needed someone to help him and Dumbledore seemed like a wise yet foolish choice.

Severus is the very definition of wise yet foolish. When he thought he trained his mind enough, he informed the headmaster and they sat down for some tea with veritaserum.

He drank the tea and as his eyes began to glaze over, Dumbledore asked him, “Who are you-”

“Someone who’s dealing with too many issues and will likely take out his anger on students.”

Okay then.

“Where does your loyalty lie?”

“To the one who controls my life entirely. I doubt I’ll make it to forty but I’m certain that every second towards my death will be frustrating and painful.”

Dumbledore hid a wince.

“Why are you a spy?”

“Because I was an idiotic youth.”

“Who are the members of the Order of the Phoenix?”

“The only person I have in contact with that has ties to the Order that I know of is Dumbledore.”

Dumbledore sighed in relief, this was going better than expected.

“Are you okay?”

Severus blinked, opened his mouth, and closed it again.When he began to speak Dumbledore couldn’t help but grimace. That was bit too truthful. They both needed an alcoholic drink after this.

[thesnapewecandreamof]

On the topic of ur recent ask abt Potions and Curses, Trust me, we’re as excited to see how Snape and the founders interact JUST AS MUCH as we are to understand the world the founders introduced Snape to in that hc!! Both are good, we’d be happy to see what you keep tending to accidentally write of that AU 😂

The thing is what I have in mind is on the opposite ends of the emotional spectrum. I have angst on one end and fluff on the other. Finding a way to mesh those two things is where I’m having trouble. I want it to have some sweet, sweet, protective!founders and write some history between the four of them. But I also want to talk about some ancient rituals/potions that are bordering on dark and how Severus takes in some moral dilemmas.

And of course the whump, I do love whumping Snape.

Ofc there’s the option of making a crack!au out of an AU but that’s a lot of work.

I’m making some progress tho, like I’ve made some sort of “draft” on how the founders will interact with Severus and how their relationship impact the others but yeah. The mood of my writing is hard to control.Thanks for the love tho anon. You’re awesome!

[thesnapewecandreamof]

Snape likes fireflies..

It was a cold night in Cokeworth. Severus pulled his threadbare jacket closer to his tiny frame. He looked up at the full moon above him, shifting his position on the tree branch to get a better look. The yelling stopped a few minutes ago but he’s learned not to take anything at face value. 

Silence means many things in their household. 

So he’s up in a tree, close to freezing but not quite, and wondering when it’s safe to come back inside. There are many noises during the night but he’d rather risk facing some unknown entity than whatever lays waiting indoors.

At least the moon was providing him some light.

Almost as if life remembered that she was always against him, a cloud gently moved to block out the moon. Severus sighed at his luck and shivered. His young mind had no trouble making up images hidden in the dark. He could almost make out sharp fangs in the distance; see glaring eyes glowing in the shadows.

He took a deep breath and tried to list reasons why those couldn’t possibly exist. It’s just his imagination after all. And the cloud would move away soon and the moon’s light would banish the illusions his mind made. 

He was not going to curl up, close his eyes, and hope for the best. He wasn’t a crybaby. 

But then his eye caught something. He gasped as a lone firefly moved a few inches from his face. He looked around and a smile formed on his face. There were dozens of them, hundreds even! He made his way down the tree to get a closer look at the insects. 

There were so many of them! How had he not noticed them before?

He ran around, catching a few and being careful not to crush them. He marveled at the light emanating from his hands before letting the little creatures go. It was fantastic. He laughed as he spun around, taking the beauty of the light.

Hours seemed to past with him just playing around with the insects. He felt foolish when he gave a small wave towards the fireflies when he snuck back indoors but he went to bed smiling that night.

He wished there were always fireflies to accompany him during dark nights such as this.

Edit: thanks to @b-i-s-e-x-u-a-l-l-y-g-a-y for pointing out the text repeated.

[thesnapewecandreamof]

Snape but he’s laughing at something during an order meeting, a real laugh. The order is shocked how much more alive he is when he laughs

“He’ll be okay. Just be sure he gets some rest after the meeting.” Molly said as she took away the empty vials. She didn’t understand why Snape had to attend the meeting since Dumbledore could easily share what happened when the professor is recovered. Or at least after a few hours of sleep.

The injuries weren’t serious but Severus had to take a rather dubious potion that calmed him down and relaxed his nerves. He was a little bit too relaxed though.

He had a little smile on his face as he recalled the events of the Death Eater meeting he attended. It was rather unnerving to watch. As some other order members began discussing their bits, a soft chuckle was heard in his general direction. Everyone did their best to ignore the odd sight.

After the meeting Fred and George were discussing some plans for their latest experiment. They were trying to figure out the correct formula for a joke product that could be upgraded into some form of weapon for the order. The twins were startled when a low chuckle rang behind them.

Snape loomed over the sofa they were occupying with an unnerving smile on his face. He motioned for the paper and George hesitantly handed it to him. How very much like their early days of students causing mischief in potions class.

Molly was startled to see her twins with the misanthropic professor a few minutes later, and the whole room grew quiet when Snape let out a laugh at what her boys said. Said children were snickering to themselves as well. She turned to Dumbledore and saw the old wizard with an odd look in his eyes.

Fred and George looked disappointed when Dumbledore had to leave with Severus in tow. She saw how Snape had a soft smile on his face as he bid goodbye and wondered if she’d ever see such a sight ever again.

[thesnapewecandreamof]

I think you’re so wonderful!!!! All of your headcanons, every single one, is so wonderful to read. It always make me happy and excited when I see updates on your blog!! I hope you know how much we adore your writing

Thank you anon! I’ve been receiving a lot of love lately and I’m beginning to wonder if this is some serious foreshadowing of what’s to come. But maybe that’s just me being negative.Hopefully I’ll come up with some more content AND have the time to do it. *Sends you a virtual hug!*

Thank you anon! I’ve been receiving a lot of love lately and I’m beginning to wonder if this is some serious foreshadowing of what’s to come. But maybe that’s just me being negative.Hopefully I’ll come up with some more content AND have the time to do it. *Sends you a virtual hug!*

[thesnapewecandreamof]

i was wonderin, do you still feel as passionate about this blog as when u started? and why? would you rather we request any specific genre or using any specific characters alongside snape?

When I first started this blog I was brimming with ideas on how to torture about Severus Snape. I wanted to write about so many things but had little time and energy to do so. This blog is literally what it says on the description, a place where I dump plotbunnies that I can expand on in the future.

I have so many drafts and not all of them may see the light of day.

My passion about the greasy boi feels a bit...less. I rarely have free time now both because of work and personal things. While Sneep no longer consumes my every waking thought I still occassionally get ideas on how I can kill, whump, fit him into an angsty story.

It's not that I'm ignoring asks(Unanswered ones haunt my dreams) Some just takes more thinking than others. I tend to answer shorter once more often bc I waste hours trying to think up a good answer.

You can send any genre of asks (preferably not smut bc I'm horrible at those, humor also isn't my forte but I can try) It really helps me focus on a scenario and cook up a plot.

This became very long wow.

[thesnapewecandreamof]

i love. ur writing so much. ur an inspirationan—actually, literally, because you write so well and so often! You write, write, write, it’s amazing. I look up to you a lot

Me: (hasn't posted anything in weeks)

Are you sure you sent this to the right person lol?

In the chance that you did, this ask has made my day. Thank you Anon!

[thesnapewecandreamof]

So you never did a follow-up on Potions and Curses... I just wanted to say that this is incredibly sad.

Never say never! It's taking awhile but everytime I write it ends up focusing on the Founders and Severus' relationship with eachother instead of the Unforgiveables and angst.

I may or may not have created a crack!AU out of this angsty hc.

I'm not quite sure if it'll be a continuation of the hc or if I'll expand it into a fic. Also not sure if I'll make it canon-compliant or make it in its own univers.

[thesnapewecandreamof]

cant believe that this is how this scene actually went (x)

[thesnapewecandreamof]

god ur oc matthew makes me soft,,, c can i please have matthew working to get severus slowly adjusted to physical affection? Because he is a touch starved lad, who is somehow also touch repulsed because of how sensitive he is,, but they work thru it and severus, albeit flustered and sort of embarrassed, learns how to receive and initiate physical affection.. happy stuff for my soul please,, ur happy writing is like chicken soup,, heals me,,

- Matthew was headed for the kitchen. He smiled when he saw Severus stretched out on the sofa, a book in his hand. He gently laid a hand on his lover’s shoulder as he passed by, noting how the muscles immediately tensed. 

- He just assumed Severus was surprised. Perhaps he was too engrossed in his book to notice Matthew.

- After a long day in St. Mungo’s, Matthew wanted nothing more than to go home. He lost a patient that day. Severus saw him enter and stood to greet him, freezing in his spot when Matthew tiredly wrapped his arms him. 

- Matthew smiled when he felt Severus slowly wrap his arms around him. He didn’t care how light the hug was.

- Once he got the time to truly think, Matthew knew what was wrong with Severus and decided to help him through it. He wasn’t a very touchy person but he was certain a few touches wouldn’t kill him and his lover.

- He started out small. He nearly gagged at how cliche and cheesy he was being. He was sure some of the staff in St. Mungo’s would laugh at him should they ever find out about his plan.

- It was a simple good morning/ good night kiss. Best to start where they were a little bit familiar with. He never said their romance started in a conventional way.

- He could feel Severus getting suspicious of him. One time remarking that Matthew should stop buttering him up and tell him what he wanted.

- But it wasn’t the only thing Matthew did. It was the little things. Making sure their fingers brushed together when one of them handed a cup of coffee to the other. Draping his feet across Severus’ lap while they read in the sofa. 

- He was slow to progress. He put his arm across Severus’ shoulders whenever he can, he held Severus’ hand as much as possible. He was unsure what would be too much but he pushed passed his own insecurities.

- Slowly, Severus got used to all of his touches. There were less flinches, less sharp glares that would melt away once they recognized Matthew. 

- There was an incident when Severus tiredly flooed from Hogwarts to their little apartment. The potions master was exhausted and he headed straight to Matthew, wrapping his arms against his lover lightly. Matthew was overjoyed.

- “You know, the good thing about giving a hug is that you always get one back.” Before any anxiety could make Severus pull back, Matthew hugged him tight. “I like my hugs to be near suffocating.”

- He didn’t. But it was different with Severus.

- One of Matthew’s most peaceful memory would be Severus writing harsh critiques on a potions journal, his head on Matthew’s lap. The healer was reading some new experimental treatment while running his fingers through Severus’ hair.

- They learned with each other. There were more touches, and it certainly made their relationship warmer. Severus opened up about why he detested touch. How despite all that he went through, he craved it so much. 

- Matthew was there to listen to him. And Severus didn’t pull away from the hug, didn’t make up an excuse to leave. 

- But then it happened. Matthew was sleeping when he heard the floo flare to life. He heard stumbling, some crashing furniture. He grabbed his wand and headed towards the living room only to see Severus in the dark, wide-eyed and trembling. After opening the lights, Matthew gasped at all the scrapes and dried blood covering Severus.

- He took a step forward and Severus flinched back. 

- But before he could process what happened, Severus tentatively came towards him before engulfing him into a bone-crushing hug.

- “He’s back.” 

Hello anon!! Yes, something about Matthew also makes me soft. I had some fears about making him too much of a Gary Stu (Do warn me when he begins to sound like one). 

This started out very warm and soft but then I just had to insert a tiny bit of angst in there. It wouldn’t be Severus if life didn’t fuck with him once he receives more than an ounce of happiness.

[thesnapewecandreamof]

concept: ALL of snape’s students scheme together to try and get a glimpse of snape’s good side, and they manage to pull of an elaborate prank in which a student very convincingly pretends to die at his feet. he has a very brief moment of panicking and getting to his knees to hold the person to try and check their pulse, but the minute he gets a closer look he goes back to his snarky self and hisses out a characteristic, “get up. you’re fine.”

[thesnapewecandreamof]

Deathly Hallows, Chapter 32

Voldemort: Give me the Elder Wand or you won’t live to see another day.

Severus: Bold of you to assume I want to live.

Voldemort: Mate, this snake is loaded.

Severus: Merlin, I hope so.

[thesnapewecandreamof]

Snape

[thesnapewecandreamof]

The HP fandom has always hit that sweet spot between ridiculous and hilarious because “mean teacher” is without a doubt the least problematic type of character I like but in no other fandom have I ever found the same hostility I’ve found here.

By which I mean, I’ve straight out said, “I love Satan! He’s my favourite character! Satan is awesome!” and people have nodded and gone “Yeah, Satan is really cool” but each time I’ve written “I think Severus Snape is a fantastic character” online some wise scholar in my inbox has gone, “NO MA’AM THAT’S NOT ALLOWED HE WAS AN ASSHOLE AND A BULLY WHO WANTED TO MURDER A TOAD PLEASE RECONSIDER.”

That will never stop being hilarious to me.

I can love Satan, but I can’t love Severus Snape.

We’re living in a Crackfic AU.

[thesnapewecandreamof]

Famous Witches and Wizards Cards  fanart by me Harry Potter