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thethirstynoona · 5 years
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you ever look forward to commuting just bc you’re so excited to experience the fleeting joy of listening to you favourite music while wistfully gazing out of the window and daydreaming about alternative lives you could have lived
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thethirstynoona · 6 years
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Kpop has destroyed me in so many ways, but mainly because when my friends ask why I’m fangirling so hard over a picture, I can’t tell them it’s because his fucking forehead is showing.
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thethirstynoona · 6 years
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“lullaby” dance practice (boyfriend version)
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thethirstynoona · 6 years
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I HAVE NEVER FELT SO ATTACKED
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thethirstynoona · 6 years
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jb → lullaby mv
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thethirstynoona · 6 years
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looking good
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thethirstynoona · 6 years
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I- DONE.
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thethirstynoona · 6 years
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Thank you for the update!!! We’ve missed you here on tumblr. I just wanna let you know that no matter how long you take, there are people who will always be waiting for you, like me :) hope life’s doing you good. :)
I’ve missed it, too.  It feels good to write again, and even better to hear that you’re glad to have me back.  I don’t know how many people care about my personal life, but I’m just happy to be getting back to a regular schedule after a few months.  Thank you so much for sticking around and waiting for me to get back on it. :) It means so much.
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thethirstynoona · 6 years
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Monster - Chapter 16
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She was perfect in every way, and I was a monster destined to ruin her beauty.  I would fight; I would protect her from me, but my resistance was fading with each of her advances.  In the end, I would destroy her.
Category: Drama | Suspense | Violence | Moderate Smut Word Count: 4,016 Group/Member: EXO | Baekhyun A/N: Baekhyun’s Perspective
Chapter 15 | 
Jeju Island.  The thought of visiting hadn’t crossed my mind since the incident with Taeyeon.  When I received the fateful phone call from my mother, it almost seemed like destiny.  Y/N, the woman for whom I’d pined for weeks, unable to reach, was finally within my grasp. Despite every ounce of my being urging me to let her go, I knew I couldn’t let things end like that.  She deserved better than living a lie served to her on a silver platter by my ex-fiancée.
My heart was pounding and my palms were sweaty – I hadn’t been this nervous since I was a young boy. I didn’t know how to start when contacting her, and I felt nothing I would write would have sufficed.  Rifling my thoughts of how best to approach it, feelings of ire flashed before me as visions of Taeyeon and Jongin danced into my head.
No.  I had to start learning how to control my emotions if I was to win her back.  Jongin was with her at the resort, and even if my contact in the industry wasable to buy me a window, there was no doubt he’d eventually find Y/N in my arms.  The best plan of action would be to wait until I arrived in Jeju – by then I’d know exactly how much time I’d have with her.
Private planes make travel insanely convenient.  The moment I knew of Y/N’s whereabouts, I hopped into my family’s G6 and headed her way. It was a mere twenty minutes before departing when my contact at Jongin’s management company agreed to fly out an up-and-coming artist from their Japan branch for a meeting.  Good news is almost guaranteed when men are easily swayed by money.  Though I still hadn’t the slightest clue as to what I was going to say to her, I needed to begin the conversation.
Me: “Jaaaaagiiiii…I found you. ;)”
“Erase these messages after you read this, because Jongin is not to be trusted.  I promise to make amends for everything I’ve done, and I will explain everything to the best of my ability when I get there, but you need to be on your guard.  I can’t guarantee that Jongin doesn’t already know that I’ve contacted you, so you need to act as normal as possible.”
“I can give us a window tonight to talk, but I don’t know for how long.  Go to the poolside bar right before the late night movie starts – that’s at 10:00 pm, so preferably 9:45.  The bartender will direct you from there.”
I sat in my seat, tuned into the screen on my phone and nothing else as the plane took off.  Was I too desperate?  Was it enough?  It felt like everything was happening in slow motion, and the fear of her possible avoidance crept into my heart – it felt like the plane was going to crash because of the turbulence in my soul.  As soon as the plane was safely in the air, she responded.
My Love: “9:45. I’ll be there.”
Albeit was short; Y/N acknowledged my contact.  It may have only been a text, but I could hear her voice as if she was standing next to me, clutching my shoulder.  The thought of punishing her rose into the forefront of my mind, and I fought it back – if it hadn’t been for my depraved mentality, she would have never left me in the first place.  I didn’t deserve her.  Before wallowing in my sorrows, I decided to rest my mind with a nap during the flight.
Twelve hours had passed before everything fell apart.  Twelve hours of a rollercoaster of emotions, finally leading up to the moment where everything was clear.  It was exactly 12:00 am midnight when she intruded upon the heated discussion between Y/N, Jongin, and me.  Taeyeon, the deceiver and manipulator of my entire existence, had finally shocked me into remembering the missing memory from Jeju all those years ago.
“What she means to say, dearest Jongin, is that the only reason she stayed with you is because you were the last tie she had to your sister, Kay.”
The sound of her voice was worse than hearing nails on a chalkboard.  Taeyeon stood in the archway with her arms folded and an eyebrow arched, judging the scene with dripping disdain.  For once, I’d gained the upper hand in her game.  Y/N sat frozen on the bed, while Jongin’s mitigated fury fired back up, his eyes shooting daggers at me.
“Kai, that’s not true – don’t listen to her!” Y/N dramatically cried.  It was evident that she wouldn’t be able to control her emotions, and if left unchecked, Taeyeon would play on that to manipulate the situation. I had to act fast.
“I would take anything Taeyeon says with a grain of salt, Jongin,” I started, his eyes seething into me, “I mean, think about it.  She’s convinced you to deceive Y/N, whom you supposedly love, and make her believe that I wanted nothing to do with her.  Taeyeon’s goal is control and manipulation.”
“Yeah, and what’s yours? Torture and terror?” he bitterly rebuked, rising from his seat to use his stature in a menacing way. Unfortunately for Jongin, I had spent a good portion of my life practicing and mastering the art of Jiu-Jitsu – neither height nor muscle mass could intimidate me.
“While your quick response may bear some truth, you can’t deny that you’ve unintentionally agreed with the fact that the woman for whom you are working is not to be trusted,” I calmly replied.  Jongin scratched his head for a moment, before Taeyeon rolled her eyes and stepped in.
“Byunnie, stop confusing the boy.  Leave these two and come with me – we both know you’re no good for Y/N,” Taeyeon innocently commanded, holding her outstretched hand towards me.
“That’s not true,” Y/N interjected, wrapping the blanket around her like a towel and walking towards Taeyeon.  “Baekhyun isn’t the best boyfriend in the world – quite frankly he’s closer to the worst, but…but he doesn’t belong to you – he…he’s mine.”
Y/N stuttered her last words, but I couldn’t fight the smile that appeared on my face; I knew she meant it, and even though she was clearly intimidated by my former fiancée, she stood her ground.  It was only after seeing the devious expression painted on Taeyeon’s face that my smile faded.
“Silly girl, do you know what happened in this very suite ohso long ago?  Perhaps you should ask your man,” she sneered as she retracted her hand and walked towards the kitchen area.  Taeyeon rested herself against the counter with her arms outstretched behind her; she was toying with me.  It was in that very spot that I last remember seeing her before I blacked out and she disappeared from my life.
“What does it matter? You’re alive and well, making it a point to keep me out of Baekhyun’s life – who cares what happened here?!” Y/N angrily retorted, hastily approaching Taeyeon.  Kai attempted to hold her back, and she slapped his hand away. If Y/N kept at this, she would play right into Taeyeon’s hand, though I still wasn’t sure exactly what that was.
“You know what?  Fuck this – I don’t need you!” Kai spat before jetting towards the door.  “All of you deserve each other!  I should have listened to Kay in the first place.”  He stormed out of the room, which left an opening for me to regain some control over the situation.
“Well now, it seems things are getting a little heated.  Perhaps we should all sit down and talk this over like adults?” I innocently suggested, pulling a chair from the dining area table.  Taeyeon grinned maliciously before bursting into a chuckle.  Luckily I was able to calm Y/N, and she sat down in the chair.
“Oh Byunnie, don’t act so chivalrous.  We both know it’s simply a ruse to pull innocent victims like Miss YL/N into your web of corrupted lust.  Don’t try to distract from the situation at hand…it’s time to be honest with your new love and tell her what you did to me,” Taeyeon cheekily mentioned, each word falling an octave lower than the last.
Taeyeon knew I didn’t remember anything, and if she had it her way she’d recount the story in such a way that I became an even bigger monster than what Y/N already thought of me. She had me in check and there wasn’t any move I could make to reposition the pieces in my favor.
“I’d make a reference to you being a rose with sharper thorns than a chef’s knife, but there’s nothing whimsical or romantic about you, Byunnie.  It takes a true sadist to do something like this –“ she pulled at the organza material covering her arms and chest to expose a myriad of scars: the first stretching from her clavicle to her sternum, the second from her shoulder to her elbow, and the third along her hand from her wrist to her middle finger. She turned around to show one last wound – one that looked like she’d been stabbed in the back.
My composure was failing amidst seeing the permanent markings I’d left while having flashbacks of her fighting me.  I’d broken the bathroom mirror in a rage and had grabbed the largest shard I could find. Taeyeon had been screaming at me until a few quick slashes across her had her on the ground, pleading for her life. I had shaken my head and struck once more, her vibrant blood staining the carpet beneath her.  The blurred visions in my head crippled me to the floor as my hands came to my face.
“What did she say, what did she say?” I kept asking myself over and over.  I refused to believe that some part of me was so sinister as to physically harm anyone I loved in such a way.  Y/N was quick to come to my side, though her reassuring touch on my back didn’t do much to soothe the savagery eating away at my soul.
“Could you really handle a relationship like that, Y/N?  Would you be willing to accept a man who carries the burden of a beast within, never knowing when it will escape?  You’ve already walked away from him how many times in the short encounter you’ve had – how can you honestly say that you would be there for him?” Taeyeon probed. I could feel Y/N’s energy tense up at each question, as if she was holding something back.  Whether she had something up her sleeve or she was trying desperately to keep her emotions in check, I couldn’t tell, though she was definitely holding onto something.
“Baek?” Y/N coolly called, positioning herself in front of me on the floor before prying my hands away from my face and looking into my eyes.  “What do you remember from that night?  Tell me anything you know.”
“Y/N, I don’t want to –“ I started before she cut me off.
“I want to hear what you know.  Anything she tells me will only be a lie, and I promise I will forgive you for whatever happened,” she reassured, squeezing my hands in hers.  I could feel her composed pulse before taking a deep breath to explain.  Y/N deserved to hear this story when she had originally asked – not like this.
“I did it.  Seeing Taeyeon’s scars brought it back.  I hurt her while she cowering on the floor in fear…she ran from me and I shoved a large piece of broken glass into her back. She dropped to the floor because she couldn’t walk…I left her to rot on the floor before I opened the sliding glass door to the balcony.  It was pouring rain and I screamed in rage, letting the rest of it go.  After some time I retired to the bedroom and passed out; when I woke up I had completely forgotten what had happened.  Only Taeyeon’s blood that had painted the walls and the floor along with the broken glass from the bathroom mirror were what greeted me – Taeyeon was gone.  All of her belongings, her phone…everything…the were all still there and–“
“I had to escape.  I didn’t know what your next move was going to be, and since you had damaged a nerve in my back I couldn’t move. Luckily my uncle was in the area and was able to fly me off of the island to a private hospital room back home where I was able to heal in secret.  It was through a lot of physical therapy that I was able to walk again – since that happened I’ve made it my mission to keep unassuming women who stroll into your life aware that they’re dating a monster,” Taeyeon rudely interrupted, her smug face searing a hole through my skull.
“Why not contact the authorities like a normal person?” Y/N blurted out before I had a chance to say anything in response.  I glanced at her profile, and her expression was stern and unyielding.  This was the Y/N for whom I had fallen, and I was overcome with happiness to have her by my side in that moment.
“Why didn’t you contact the authorities when Baekhyun pretty much assumed the role of rapist in the park the first night you had sex with him? Didn’t that come off as a little disturbing?” Taeyeon quickly riposted, continuing with, “Or how about when he drugged you and coerced you into having sexual relations with a stranger?  Oh and don’t forget that he left you in a smutty hotel alone – do you even know what happened there?”
She had Y/N in a corner – we all could feel it.  Evidently Taeyeon had been keeping tabs on the entirety of my relationship with Y/N; though I knew she wouldn’t reveal what happened in the sex hotel because it had only been Y/N and me, albeit Y/N was unconscious the whole time.  I was curious what comeback my current love was going to use as retaliation when she said it – the word I had needed to hear for the past two years; the word…or rather name…that brought everything back.
“Just admit that you’re Hayeon!”
(2 years ago)
“Baby boy I want to try something new tonight,” Taeyeon winked as she traced a finger under my jaw. We had just finished a late dinner and could barely keep our hands off each other in the elevator.  She pulled my necktie off of me and wrapped it around her own, tightening it to insinuate breathplay.  “This is getting a bit boring, don’t you think?”
“So how can we spice it up?” I slyly queued as she waltzed from the elevator into the foyer of our suite, teasing me with her tight dress.  I caught her hand before she eluded me and pulled her back, wrapping my hands around her to caress her naughty backside.  I pulled her legs up and hoisted her onto my hips, and her faced melded to mine, our lips caught in a tasty tango as I strut towards the kitchen.
Taeyeon hopped off of me and playfully pushed me away, only to tug at my Gucci belt.  The moment her fingertips touched the leather, I knew exactly where her mind was going…and it was nowhere nice.  In one swift movement I freed my belt from its confines, snapping the leather at her.  She smirked and bit her lip, to which I responded by turning her around and forcefully bending her over the countertop, rubbing her aching behind before I began my punishment.
“Give it to me, Daddy,” Taeyeon whined, wiggling her butt along my hand and waiting for the slap she desperately was seeking.  I glanced at the belt, and with a mischievous grin I let it whip as she screamed out in pleasurable pain, crying “more, more!”
After a few more satisfying lashings and feeling the imminent welts along her swollen cheeks, I snaked the belt around her neck and tightened its grip.  I dropped my pants and aligned my cock at her folds; hugging her hips and stroking her hair, I sucked on her earlobe before thrusting deep inside from behind.  Our safeword was ‘watermelon’ and by the sounds of her moans, she would have been able to state if we were taking it too far.
It was an odd feeling to use a belt over a scarf or my bare hands – the lack of touch wasn’t something that did it for me, but clearly it was making Taeyeon more aroused, since she came within seconds of the torture.  Her slippery mess made it easier to pummel into her faster, but not before I spun her around to watch the ecstasy take place.
“Baby,” she panted, trying to grasp at me.  I wasn’t going to budge – Taeyeon liked it rough, and she had asked for this.  “Baby wait, just…one…thing.  Call me Hayeon.”
My brain was having a hard time comprehending the complexity of her statement, despite its simplicity. In my attempt to grasp the concept of her request, I had stopped all movement.  Taeyeon slapped me to break my frozen posture.
“What did you ask me?” I disbelievingly asked, “Hayeon…why Hayeon?  Who’s Hayeon?”
I began to back away in my confusion, thinking it odd that my fiancée would want me to call her by another woman’s name.  Taeyeon’s expression was unreadable as she unclasped the belt and removed it from her neck.  Imprints of the leather dimpled her skin; she steadied herself on the counter before speaking.
“Did you know I have a twin sister?” she deviously began, cocking her head to the side before meandering around to the other side of the counter.  Her eyes never left mine; she was reading my movement like a wild cat stalks its prey.  I got the feeling if I said the wrong thing she would strike – was this some kind of sex game she wanted to play?  My ability to read the situation was stifled, but the feeling in my gut told me to run.  I decided to stay silent and let her talk.
“Funny thing about identical twins – sometimes they’re not identical at all.  One always gets more affection and attention from family and lovers, while the other winds up alone, dejected and vengeful because she’s never been noticed,” she disparaged before breaking into a manic cackle, “But not anymore! Even ugly twins get their time to shine…you just have to make it work, not wait for things to happen!”
I’d never seen this side of Taeyeon – it was like she had a mental break and was spiraling into madness. No, this couldn’t be the Taeyeon I had proposed to – but she never mentioned anything of having a sister, let alone a twin.  My mind racing, I had to say something, “What are you talking about, Taeyeon?!”
“Taeyeon?  Taeyeon was my sister. She was always prettier and more popular than me.  Who wants to hang out with boring Hayeon? Our friends never expressed their preference, but they made it really clear when they all joined the same fucking sorority without telling me!” she paced the kitchen space with a methodical canter, grabbing cutlery from one of the drawers and tracing it along the counter.
“Then there was you, Byun Baekhyun.  Your family’s persuasion landed you in an upper-level business class in your Freshman year, which coincidentally was the same class as me.  Of course you didn’t notice Hayeon…nobody ever noticed Hayeon!  You even sat in a study group with me, but never once acknowledged my existence! All semester long you worked alongside me in that class – you never saw how much I cared for you, how much I wanted you…” she seemingly collapsed onto the counter, but before I could move a muscle, she sensed my intention and snapped her head up, glaring at me.
“It wasn’t until you went to a social mixer put on by Taeyeon’s sorority that you finally noticed a Kim sister…and of course it was Taeyeon!  You fell for my twin without so much as a thought for me and the months I dedicated to making sure you passed that fucking class.  You would have failed if it weren’t for me!  You would have nothing!  But that’s okay…you can’t wait for things to happen…you have to make it work.  While you were courting my sister, I was busy with a personal trainer to get me in the same shape as well as getting a nose job to get rid of the ugly hump on my bridge.  I went to acting classes every day to learn how to act like Taeyeon, how to talk like Taeyeon – I even tracked her schedule and tailed her for months to memorize her schedule!  The coup de grace was learning finance so I could replace her completely.”
“What did you do to her?” I cautiously probed, the ire in my gut burning away the previous intention of running. If she had so much as laid a finger on my love, I was ready to take her down.
“Nothing.  Hayeon is gone, don’t you see?  There’s only Taeyeon, and that is me.  Didn’t it feel different, Byunnie?  Didn’t it feel better?” she maniacally asked as she closed the gap between us.  Curiosity is the devil’s advocate, and it got the better of me, so I had to ask even though I already knew.
“Did what feel different?”
“Sex, silly.  It was the night before you proposed…you were nervous about tying me up, but I talked you through it…and now look at you!  Look at us!  We can finally be together as the true Taeyeon and Baekhyun!”
Without so much as a first thought, my hands warped to her neck.  I couldn’t stop myself from squeezing harder to prevent her airflow – I didn’t even propose to Taeyeon!  I proposed to this…imposter!
“Oh – fuck – yes, baby…” she choked out, which sent a carnal quake throughout my body.  I was becoming aroused.  The minute clarity struck me upside the temple was the moment I abdicated my grasp on her – this was never something that Taeyeon would have wanted. Her and I were normal and were happy with the regular sex we had and the regular life we shared.  I don’t know that it would be possible for me to ever be that way again.
I quickly escaped into the bathroom, where I saw the true monster I’d become staring back at me. I’d been manipulated into a person I had never intended to be – I’d been broken.  Wallowing in sorrow had never been my style, so I made a snap decision to end it.  A swift right hook to the mirror and it came shattering down at the same time Hayeon came clambering in.
“Get away from me!” I fiercely cried, holding the largest shard I could find to my neck.  The venomous snake lurched at me, fighting me for the glass and receiving some damaging blows in the process.  She attempted to flee, but before she could escape I gave the final strike, stripping her of the ability to run.
“How could you do this to me, Byunnie?  How could you do this to us?  You betrayed us!” she frantically screamed, throwing anything within her reach at me.  I was done. She could get up and kill me for all I cared, but she wouldn’t beat me to it.  I walked onto the patio, ready to face my fate.
“Y/N, go home.  Now,” I vehemently commanded.  I didn’t have to see the terror in her eyes, for it emanated throughout the room.  She never deserved someone like me, she deserved to have a better man; a man who wasn’t weak to manipulation or the power of suggestion.  I’d hurt her for the last time, and it was finally the moment to let her go.  She didn’t waver, nor did she look back as she walked out the door.  It took a moment to sink in, but when I was sure she was gone and I could only feel the tension of Hayeon’s fear and my loathing that I continued the conversation appropriately.
“Hello, Hayeon. It’s been a while.”
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thethirstynoona · 6 years
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hello arms 🙃
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thethirstynoona · 6 years
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Hm. I seemed to have finished Chapter 16 of Monster, though I’m not sure what to think of it.  Either way, I hope you guys are ready for it - it’s been a long time coming. Meanwhile, I’m going to delve right into Chapter 17, so look forward to that as well! :)
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thethirstynoona · 6 years
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Baekhyun // W Korea - making of
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thethirstynoona · 6 years
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WHAT THE FUCK
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thethirstynoona · 7 years
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Yes! U are so sexy!!! 😍🙌🏼
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thethirstynoona · 7 years
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baekhyun x red for anon ❤️🍓🌹
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thethirstynoona · 7 years
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Hiii, I just read monster and I wanted to say that it’s now one of my favorite fan fiction. I really like the way you write, the plot is just amazing and I’m mind blown?? Thank you for writing such an amazing fiction 💛 and I was wondering when would you update it?? No pressure haha, just so I know bc I’m sooo excited to read the rest of the story!!
Awe you’re so sweet thank you! :)) I’ve been working on Chapter 16 for a while, been distracted by life so I haven’t found much time for it, though it’s always in the back of my head to finish! I don’t expect it to be too long that you’ll have to wait for the next installment, though it is coming to a close relatively soon. Thank you so much for reading and enjoying! ^_^
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thethirstynoona · 7 years
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180112 aimee迷糊小姐 (UNIQ’s manager noona) weibo update: “Black and white POP 🖤 ​​​”
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