thetinyvampire

[thetinyvampire]

I. AM. SO. EXCITED.

Fawx & Stallion. Season 2. November 11th.

[thetinyvampire]

I finally did it! So here is my silly little contribution to Fiction Podcast Zine Event!

ID in alt texts and under the cut (I did try my best with them)

[ID: Photo of the front page of a zine. On the top of the page there is text in big pink letters: „What to do while listening to a podcast”. Below is smaller text in purple and black: „LittleAceBee’s helpful fun guide”. Below is there is doodle of a bee wearing purple headphones. Next to it, in blue spicy cloud, there is a text: „with illustrations”.

Page 3. In the middle of the page there is big colourful text: „Make art & craft”. Above it, on the left there is drawing of cross stich project with „Podcast tim” written on it and there is text reading „cross stitching!” below it. Next to it, on the right is drawing of thread spool and needles. There is text above it reading „sewing!”. The furthest on the right there is a drawing of a painting on an easel with text „painting!” below it. Below the big text, on the left there is a drawing of hand drawing a drawing of two stick figures, one is signed „podcast blorbo”, the other one „me”. There is text saying „drawing!” above it. On the right of it there is a drawing of half knitted scarf and ball of yarn. Above it is text saying „knitting!”.

Page 2. On the top of the page is big dark blue text: „Clean”. Below it are to drawing of two girls wearing purple headphones. One on the left is holding feather duster and dusting a drawer. One on the right is mopping the floor.On bottom part of the page is bus window with a word „commute” written on it in cloudy font. On the right of the text is standing a girl in purple headphones.

Page 4. On the top half of the page there is drawing of a path in woods and girl with purple headphones walking on it. Below it there is green text: „Take a walk”. On the bottom half of the page there is drawing of a pink computer. On its screen there are three text posts: „Emotional liveblogging”, „hxkboayzmjkl” and „oh my god…”.

Page 5. On the top of the page, on the left there is a drawing of a person with short hair and there is a cloud with big word „talk” written in it. On the right there is a girl knitting a scarf with unimpressed expression on her face. Next to her lays a phone. Below is similar scene but instead of person with short hair there is a skeleton in their place and from girls eyes there are two lasers pointing at the skeleton. Further below there is word “talk” crossed out. On the bottom part of the page there is drawing of chopping board with knife rested on its corner. On the board there are pieces of vegetables spelling “cook”. Next to the board there is a phone and its screen there’s logo with big P and text “podcast”.

Page 6. On the top half of the page there is a drawing of a girl eating. Above her is big green text: „eat”. Next to her on a table there is phone with P on its screen. From the phone there is speech bubble and inside there is text: „choose episode carefully or you might hear the grossest thing ever”. On the bottom half of the page there is vertical written word „play”. Overlapping with its „a” there is „game” written. On the left of the text there are scattered ten colourful puzzle pieces. On the top right there are cards laid down for solitaire. Below there is computer with little house on its screen.

Page 7. On the top half of the page there is drawing of face of girl in purple headphones. She has horrified expression and tears streaming down her face. The background is dark. Above her is simple text: „stare into the void and cry*”. Below her is another text: „remember to cry quietly to still be able to hear the podcast”. On the bottom half of the page there is a drawing of a girl in purple headphones. She is watering flowers spelling a word “gardening”. Above there is flying bee.

Page 8. On the top of a page there is purple text saying: “I hope my helpful fun guide was helpful.”. Below in big pink letters there is a text saying: “thank for reading!”. On the bottom of the page there is small text saying: “#fiction podcast zine event”]

[thetinyvampire]

Sasha James... they could never make me forget you

[thetinyvampire]

Needed this in my life about a week ago

Printing this and hanging it up in the laundry room ☺

[thetinyvampire]

I STRUGGLED SO MUCH WITH THIS COMIC IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY

[thetinyvampire]

I don't have a wasps' nest in my attic, but I do have an ant collony in my pantry, and it's making me feel just as likely to murder people.

[thetinyvampire]

EVERYONE STOP EVERYTHING THERE'S A NEW EPISODE OF KEEP IT STEADY

[thetinyvampire]

Jon and Martin seasons 1-5 :,^)

[thetinyvampire]

Ok so I've been obsessing over season two thinking about Good Omens a normal amount and I also just started the Magnus Archives and I can't help but imagine how absolutely hilarious it would be if the two existed in the same world like just imagine:

Anathema: I was riding my car when this car ran me over. There were two men inside. One was moving unnaturally, almost like he had no bones, and the other one just kept smiling ominously...

Jon: Interesting. What did they do?

A: They magically fixed my bike

Jon: what

--

Statement: So I work at the Ritz, have been for a couple years, and there's this couple, whenever they came in a table would miraculously become free

Jon: And did they eat weird stuff? Have multiple mouths?

Statement: Oh no they just eat sweets and stare at each other. I think the tall one is preparing to propose.

Jon: I miss when this job was about Eldritch horrors

--

Mary: I am a Satanic nun of the chattering order. On a rainy night, I was handed the antichrist to deliver to his new family on Earth. Once our mission was accomplished, a mysterious fire destroyed the convent...

Jon: Finally!

Mary: yeah, these two gentlemen came to ask about it a few years later. They were quite nice. I think they're a couple

Jon: GOD DAMNIT

[thetinyvampire]

WAHOO

We are ineffably elated to confirm that Good Omens will return for a third season! This calls for a round of hot chocolate and sweet treats!

@neil-gaiman

[thetinyvampire]

Consider: an episode of doctor who where everyone is David Tennant except the doctor

So now canonly we have

Ten (David Tennant)

Tentoo (David Tennant)

Ten 2.0 (David Tennant)

Fourteen (David Tennant)

NotDoctor (David Tennant)

[thetinyvampire]

I'm everyone else's smallest enemy

i am my smallest enemy

[thetinyvampire]

was sitting on the floor of the library today (as you do) and listening to the Magnus Archive 26 when someone came over to warn me that there were MAGGOTS in the carpet and let me tell you I did not take it well

[thetinyvampire]

Wicked girlie through and through! My friend sent me a song a couple years ago and I listened to the whole cast album during the night. Been obsessed ever since.

reblog if the first musical you listened to was not Hamilton

[thetinyvampire]

one sentence summaries of every TMA episode

(1-60 i'll add more soon)

part 2 up!

world's most effective anti-smoking PSA

man DOES NOT open coffin. everyone claps.

woman is judgemental towards neighbor even though she has hobbies that are just as weird.

book makes multiple people fall off chair.

man finds bag of teeth and decides he absolutely needs to fuck around and find out.

worm sti.

there was a SCARY MAN in the WAR.

fuck this tree

well at least ted bundy was a great father :)

i'm like 55% sure vampires are real and i'm willing to take those odds

bitches be dying. you're next.

we kill this man because he made the soda too warm.

sorry ur husband's dead. maybe get some help.

Unbox with me ! (GONE WRONG)

hah i'm safe from this one because i have decided to Never Go Into a Cave Ever.

man is so annoying about this spider that even his cat can't be bothered

man's bully finds a book about a Bone Turner and subsequently begins turning people's bones.

this guy sucks at DIY home improvement

aw maybe this priest didn't do anything THAT bad!

oh fuck nevermind

THE SKY ATE MY SON.

the worms stole my identity. i haven't left the house in days.

man beats german children at game of bravery and wins a coin (he later loses this coin)

my ex boyfriend gets casted in the muppets and dies

sorry mom, i've abandoned jesus for a new religion : jesus in the dark.

tall squiggly and HANDsome

old man arm wrestles demon through door knob

the buzzfeed unsolved guys finally catch a ghost but it's their sound tech

immortality but at what cost

working at the big meat factory was so traumatizing it made me vegetarian

i go to america and get almost killed by a furry

well if you love that wasp nest so much why don't you MARRY it (and then she did)

antisocial boat crew bands together to exclude one guy from a midnight party. he dies from the rejection.

bone apple teeth

remember when that norwegian guy threw a tantrum about us not digging a hole? turns out we were right to not dig that hole.

babe come over my parents have taken ill and passed away

man fucks around and it costs him everything

HOMOPHOBIC CHINESE VASE

oh god oh fuck the worms are here

thank you for participating in worms! please rate your wormsperience from 1 to 10.

the wormsperience has left me deeply scarred. i'm going to get lost in a tunnel about it.

🎸music makes me loose control🎸

spooky stories to tell at the next police slumber party

child threatens to run away and join the circus one too many times, and now the circus has come to cash in.

these mosquitoes are mad sus

man frequents local barnes and noble and then dies(?) after liking a book too much.

realtor gets eaten by the backrooms twice. it's a terrible shame.

both me and this weird goth dude have an unsatisfying italy vacation

guy who turns people's bones gets a new job where he continues to turn people's bones.

man who should never be allowed to build prisons builds a prison.

Something Big Is In The Water.

what if u heard me about 15 feet behind you fumbling around and calling out ur name 😳 (and we were both prison guards)

i'm going to be honest i didn't retain anything from this episode except that this guy has the silliest old man voice ever

everybody hates the tax man, including these creepy taxidermy animals

hmmgh. ant house.

so turns out being only 55% sure that vampires are real in my career as a vampire hunter has had some consequences.

the only thing keeping you company in space is your abandonment issues

🎶 the snack that smiles back 🎶 (my husband!)

maybe the real treasure was the house siblings we encased in spider web along the way.

your dead brother wrote books about ancient myths and WHAT

Part 2