theuncleklunkabomination

[theuncleklunkabomination]

Incase you were wonderin', here's the profile picture in full. Sorry 'bout the hands, my movements are precise for a robot built in the 1980's, but that ain't exactly a high bar now is it? Makes drawin' appendages n' such a real pain.

[theuncleklunkabomination]

Klunkisms, III

Now listen kids, because this is important. Never stop tryin', and I mean it. Don't let any gosh-darned thing stop you from achievin' what you truly wanna do (long as it ain't illegal or hurtin' nobody - I won't be held liable!)

There's gon' be a helluva lotta people tryin' to put you down to make sure they's got someone on their level. Sometimes you can lift 'em up with you. Other times though, you just can't. It's a shame really, but that's how this big weird world works sometimes.

Old Uncle Klunk ain't doin' too well kid's, so apologies for being a bit slow still.

Stay safe, stay happy. Koosh!

[theuncleklunkabomination]

Klunkisms, II

Ain't nothin' worth crying for that ain't worth fighting for. If you're willing to complain about somethin', go out and do something about it or quit yer bellyachin'.

In other news, you may have seen that old Uncle Klunk has been a little quiet recently. Don't you worry yer silly little head there, I'm still around.

[theuncleklunkabomination]

If one more snot nosed little varmin' touches my bananaphone again, I'll eat yer spleen. Koosh!

[theuncleklunkabomination]

Dear Uncle Klunk.

I was wonderin' if you could snag me a gig with the Rock-Afire Explosion, y'know since you've got good connections with 'em and all that. Ain't nobody else been returning my calls, so I figured I'd reach out, ya dig? I play the bass, and I noticed they ain't got a bass player. Anyways if you could help me that'd be rad. Hit me back!

Sorry fer takin' so long to get back to ya. Negotiations haven't been easy, and I gots some bad news here. I ain't gonna sugarcoat it, they ain't lookin' to add any new players. It’s a tough break, I know, but sometimes things just don’t line up like we want ‘em to.

Now, I ain’t sayin’ the door’s closed for good, but I don’t want you sittin’ around hopin’ on somethin’ that’s not in the cards right now. Keep your head up and keep workin’ on your craft. Ain’t no tellin’ what might come 'round the bend, and if something does open up, I’ll be sure to keep you in mind.

[theuncleklunkabomination]

I initially read this blog has uncle kink abomination, you don’t have to answer this ask but I just thought you should know

Thank you for telling me. Now go think about what you did.

[theuncleklunkabomination]

Nothing as far as you know.

Why does everyone hate you so much? You’re perfect

Well now, that I couldn't tell ya. Aside from my offputtin' appearance and being wanted by several local authorities all throughout America, I'd say I'm a pretty charmin' feller! Thank ya kindly for the nice words. Koosh!

[theuncleklunkabomination]

Who are your favorite music artists besides yourself and co workers?

I'm quite partial to Tony Marcus and Hank Williams, maw made me listen to 'em when I was a baby. Folk, bluegrass and broadly any country makes me a happy ape.

I will also say, I'm a fan of Psychobilly.

[theuncleklunkabomination]

Uncle Klunk, have you ever pirated a game before?

Now, don't go tellin' nobody about my perchance illegal procuration of pirated playthings, however I must say, Cruelty Squad is a heck of a lot better when it's free.

[theuncleklunkabomination]

Who's your least favourite animatronic band? I don't really like the circus world jamboree. They feel like a knock off of the circus playhouse band too me.

Well now, it wouldn't be polite of me to talk about my fellow animatronic entertainers that way now would it?

What I CAN say though, them Disney robots got their noses higher in the air than Click can fly! They think that just because they get better pay that they're above us, and they ain't subtle 'bout it neither.

[theuncleklunkabomination]

Why does everyone hate you so much? You’re perfect

Well now, that I couldn't tell ya. Aside from my offputtin' appearance and being wanted by several local authorities all throughout America, I'd say I'm a pretty charmin' feller! Thank ya kindly for the nice words. Koosh!

[theuncleklunkabomination]

was that you at the diddy party on june 12th, 2018, in miami??? you’re sick man.

Expect a visit from the Clinton foundation. Koosh!

[theuncleklunkabomination]

Klunkisms, I

Welcome to Klunkisms.

When I can't be bothered to listen to y'all complain to me about somethin' or other, I may drop a Klunkism. This will be a short piece of advice, a joke, or even some fun facts about the crew!

Todays Klunkism goes as follows; "Remember kids, always be nice to your parents, because they're bigger than you are, and when justifiably provoked they may hit you REAL hard on the thing you sit down with!"

[theuncleklunkabomination]

And how freaking dare anyone out there make fun of Uncle Klunk, after all he's been through?!?! He lost his original personality, he got turned into Santa Clause and then he got cut in half and turned into Orwell, then he got discontinued... All you people care about is making creepypastas off of him!! HE'S AN ANIMATRONIC!!!!!!! What you don't realize is Uncle Klunk is getting you all these views and all you do is write a bunch of lies about him, he hasn't performed on stage in over 40 years... His song is called Chantilly Lace because he has a purty face but you can't see that because all you can do is smoke MORE AND MORE AND MORE CRAYOLAS!!!! LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!!!! YOU'RE LUCKY HE EVEN PERFORMED FOR YOU BASTARDS!! LEAVE UNCLE KLUNK ALONE!!!!!!! PLEASE!! Mr Freaky don't talk about animatronics and say since Uncle Klunk is an animatronic he's associated with "incidents" and missing kids or something... speaking of animatronics since when did 80s animatronics have ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE?!?!? He's on a freaking program- LEAVE KLUNKY ALONE!!!! PLEEASE!!!! LEAVE UNCLE KLUNK ALONE. RIGHT NOW!! I MEAN IT!! Anyone who has a problem with him YOU DEAL WITH ME BECAUSE HE NEEDS MORE LOVE RIGHT NOW!! Leave him alone...

Er... Yeah! What they said! I fully, unequivocally support this mess o' words vomited onto this here screen of mine. Koosh...?

[theuncleklunkabomination]

Dear Mr Klunk, are you a part of the colander hat movement?

We don't talk about the Colander Hat Movement anymore.

Koosh...

[theuncleklunkabomination]

Dear Uncle Klunk.

You're on my 'hear me out' cake

As flattered as I am, I'm fixin' to take Lola Leopard from the Circus Playhouse Band out sometime soon. My advice, find someone with flesh instead of gears and wiring - Fatz tried going out with a human lady once, didn't go so well.

[theuncleklunkabomination]

So what about glue? Is that safe to sniff?

Well actually, I ain't too sure! I'll try it out n' update ya. In the meantime, stay away from any kindergarten craft supplies in general.