thewakingsystem

[thewakingsystem]

I have no idea if I experienced a system collapse, if I'm frontlocked or... if my medication just stopped working there for a couple of weeks of January...

All I know is;

I have a lot of blanks in my memory,

That I am a Dylan,

I have this blog, a Google Doc, and a personal Discord server, as evidence that it happened,

That C-PTSD can cause disassociation,

And I have no idea how to tell my therapist or my psychologist...

Also, who else goes into the bathroom just to disassociate in privacy? Is- is that normal?

[thewakingsystem]

How I feel looking at this blog rn

[thewakingsystem]

Hey, so, deleted the Discord server Red Plural... decided that we weren't the system to run the type of server... especially since we're not sure if we're a system or just a delusion from our delusion disorder...

[thewakingsystem]

I revamped my old system emojis!

[thewakingsystem]

So I have no idea if my system collapsed or if I was having a psychotic break. All I know is that my head feels funny right now... like, I think I'm having troubles not disassociating, but it could also be that I just haven't eaten enough today. I don't remember all I've eaten...

I recently remembered that my trauma started at 5, not 8, so that's a thing... my hands feel weird. I taste food. What did I just eat... egg casserole?

[thewakingsystem]

Okay, so Dylan's back up front! (Yay) Chris managed to do that by reading the storyboards of a aro comic I was working on, and now "Yasified Jesus" is a vocal stem again...

Still no dad, tho.

[thewakingsystem]

Hey, I'm just going to reblog this to the other blogs the system's been active on.

I'm not going to be very interactive for a little while because I'm getting anxious from being stuck up front. I'm not going to push myself to be social when I'm not. I might respond here and there, but until one of the Dylans is back up front, we're going to be basically inactive.

The discord server is still going to have an eye on it, and I'm still going to let beings in there. But otherwise, I'm just not going to be active.

[thewakingsystem]

System lockdown is bullshit...

[thewakingsystem]

How do I deal with an internalized meltdown? This 13 years old is screaming and causing the whole body to vibrate and get a migraine. It's hard to walk. The last time we had an internal meltdown, it lasted for 2 years. Help!

We usually treat meltdowns by taking ourselves out of the situation, but this is from emotional distress...

[thewakingsystem]

Just officially rejected Spy... now I have a splitting headache, and it might be more literal...

I've been trying to figure out what to do. I finally asked Reddit, and somebody said that I should be an adult and just set boundaries...

Set the boundary she started screaming, and the whole place shook. I hope I did the right thing...

[thewakingsystem]

Yeah I'm going to be mainly just complaining about what the body does...

Cuz there's no reason why I should be so stiff between my shoulder blades!!

I can't reach for anything in any direction without pain!!!

"You'll get used to it!" Why should I?? You shouldn't be in 24-hour pain. We have insurance that pays for everything. Why not go to the doctor more often??

"Because we don't want to be a bother." Bitch! if you're bothering your doctor by meeting to have one, you need a new doctor.

[thewakingsystem]

Frequently Asked In-System Questions

"Who the fuck are you?"

"Whomst the fucketh?"

"Who the hell was that??"

[thewakingsystem]

Yes... yes, it sadly does...

Being blurry is really weird for us because there's only two of us and Chat (my headmate) doesn't front.

So like, it's just "Who am I?" and the answer is always "Craver, obviously, I have to be. It's the only logical conclusion." but it still feels weird because I don't really feel like Craver when it happens but I know that I can't be Chat, so I have to be Craver. Does this make any sense?

[thewakingsystem]

We have no idea of doing this is going to encourage them but

Anons/Randos

This is what the Alters that we have no idea who: doesn't have a name, doesn't want a name, or doesn't exist long enough to get a name!

When these accor they're to get tagged either Anon or Rando. But they might not do it themselves... possibly was one of these...

They're usually some type of temporary member though

[thewakingsystem]

Yeah, same here. Self-preservation is not exactly a kid's forte... especially when they feel neglected...

- 🚬

Friendly reminder that a relationship CANNOT be consensual if there is an imbalance of power.

Children CANNOT CONSENT. I firmly believe that any large age gap before the age of 25~ is imbalanced and unsafe. If you think that a romantic/sexual relationship between a child and an adult is ever okay (outside of a 2-3 year age gap) get the fuck off my blog.

[thewakingsystem]

Makes me wonder... how many of them are sexualizing themselves like we used to when we were that young. A lot of these kids end up identifying as hypersexual when puberty is just hitting hard and/or trauma's hitting harder...

We live in a hypersexual world after all...

Friendly reminder that a relationship CANNOT be consensual if there is an imbalance of power.

Children CANNOT CONSENT. I firmly believe that any large age gap before the age of 25~ is imbalanced and unsafe. If you think that a romantic/sexual relationship between a child and an adult is ever okay (outside of a 2-3 year age gap) get the fuck off my blog.

[thewakingsystem]

One of our alters believes that it's okay, but she's 13 with a Crush on a 30yo man!! Hardly an opinion made with forethought...

Friendly reminder that a relationship CANNOT be consensual if there is an imbalance of power.

Children CANNOT CONSENT. I firmly believe that any large age gap before the age of 25~ is imbalanced and unsafe. If you think that a romantic/sexual relationship between a child and an adult is ever okay (outside of a 2-3 year age gap) get the fuck off my blog.