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Do you ever think about how Kade's parents abandoned him and Kade's aunt fully intends to abandon him the second she can and Kade's word abandoned him for the same reason as his parents and Kade's best friend first left him in death and now plans to abandon him to her own world and Kade's crush did the same and Kade's next crush did as well and

The girl he clicks with so fully (he does not have a crush on her, no way, they just met!) he could’ve charted her on the map immediately also abandons him a week into knowing him?

Yes literally ALL the time

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unstoppable force (desire to write) vs immovable object (tired)

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WHAT

>>> the perfect court the foxhole court the raven king the king's men the sunshine court the golden raven the broken cage >>> the queen's game

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Apparently I cannot lock in when writing Sirius OR Regulus without listening to Conan Gray. It’s an illness at this point

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Jk Rowling will die in my lifetime and that’s so beautiful to think about

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I kin Sirius Black, which means Regulus is my favorite Marauders character. That’s how this works.

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Do I write the Post-Cult-Therapy AU or the We-Wiped-Our-Memories-Bc-We-Were-Sad AU or the original omegaverse or- oh no. I'm writing biokink hockey jegulus again. my bad.

I have Three writing projects but I’m daydreaming about a Fourth one instead

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I just reread Wolfsong so I could actually continue the series (I read it last year, but it hurt too much to continue) and like… love u Gordo don’t worry but I am so HYPED for Robbie & Kelly. They’re already probably my fav side characters and you’re telling me they get TOGETHER?!!

Anyway, I will probably get like 5 pages into Ravensong and fall in love with Gordo/Mark together, but I am anticipating those boys. Aghhh And we get ace rep? I am having big feelings about this.

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“how someone so warm had survived such a cold place, jean didn’t know.” -tgr page 119

“how jean’s kind heart had survived a place like evermore, jeremy wasn’t sure.” -tgr page 403

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I was pretty sure after the Sunshine Court that by the end of tsc3, Neil, Jean, and Kevin would no longer have a deal with the Moriyamas just based on the fact that too many people know that Riko hurt Kevin and Jean. HOWEVER after the Golden Raven I am so sure of this it could be a free space on my next bingo card. Lets get into it:

My strongest evidence lies in the Browning cameo. Jean should not really be a material witness in Nathan Wesninski’s trial. He even says this. And Browning, instead of shedding more light on the situation says “I guess we’ll see, wont we?” I am certain that Browning has made the connection between Neil and Jean and the Moriyamas. because he would be an absolute idiot otherwise. Why?

Quite simply, too many people know!!! Three people can keep a secret only if two of them are dead!!! And there is evidence everywhere if you start looking.

There’s too many connections back to Riko. Browning has made the connection between Neil’s appearance and Evermore. We already knew this. This book we learned: Riko met with Lola and there were witnesses. Riko was FAR too visibly and vocally pleased about what happened to Andrew. Aaron’s trial mention was very small, but gave us a ton of information, and I bet Browning is starting to look into how Drake got to Andrew in the first place. Proust should be dead, the Moriyamas cleaned that up, but that is now ALSO a red flag.

Jeremy, Cat, and Laila all know for a fact that Riko hurt Kevin and Jean. The rest of Trojans are also starting to get hints about how culty the Ravens were. They heard Jean call him the master and then immediately after, saw the Ravens try to kill Andrew and Neil.

The reporters are starting to make the same connections. Why did BOTH the Moreau and the Wesninski families send their kids to Tetsuji?

Neil told the FBI Elodie Moreau was dead. So why is there a manhunt looking for her?

Too many Ravens have killed themselves. Complete exy outsiders (Cody’s mom) are starting to get suspicious about the suicides. We the audience, Jean, Neil, and at least Andrew all know for a fact two of the suicides are cover ups. It’s not a stretch to assume more Ravens were killed for clean up and made to look like a suicide. The fact that all three of the players who went after Neil and Andrew are now dead is sus.

Neil Josten is capitol U, capitol T, capitol S Up To Something. He didn’t tell Andrew or Kevin he went to California. Each of his television appearances were calculated as hell and seemed to imply that Andrew might know a little bit about Neil’s plotting (since he and Renee played into it), but Kevin for sure doesn’t. Every time Jean has seen Neil since Riko’s death, he has been in peak chaos mode and his moves are incredibly calculated. Sure, Neil is an instigator, but we’re seeing bits of Nathaniel (the only part of Neil Jean has truly known) peek through here. We are not seeing the Neil that loves exy so much Ichirou knows he can distract Neil with it. We’re seeing crime savvy mob prince Nathaniel. Even Jeremy notes it when he says Neil’s smile is so unsettling he has to move away from the computer. The Foxes are not the ones making Nathaniel come out. Neil is playing chess with someone. We’re seeing the parts of Neil that exist in the universe where The Moriyamas killed Andrew as a warning. Why?

On that note, Neil and Stuart said that them being in California together was suspicious so the FBI would come question them, but Stuart had two tables full of people with him. We know the FBI has let Stuart and his team move around before, so the dance with the FBI in tsc might have been staged.

When Stuart was let into the country by the FBI and he stormed the Wesninski mansion, he was supposed to take Nathan alive. Why???? Why did the FBI want him to build a case against himself?? When he saw Neil was alive, he didn’t hesitate and shot Nathan dead. He must have kept tabs on Neil. Neil, the child Mary and Nathan were really never supposed to have. He watched his nephew fall in love with the Foxes. He must have known Neil would be much easier to convince to turn on the Moriyamas.

Neil is so blasé about Ichirou knowing about Andrew that even Jean makes a note of it. We have been in that boy’s head and Neil has never and will never be blasé about Andrew’s safety.

Of the three of them, Jean is the weakest link in the Moriyama secret. He has almost spilled the beans several times. He almost slipped a mention of the deal to Browning. Three people can keep a secret if two of them are dead, and Nora would not have made a point to say that this is the ONLY draft where Jean survived so she wanted to explore what it looked like when he lived if she was just going to kill him off.

Putting Jean, Cat, Laila and Jeremy in a protected building until the end of the school year is SUS. PIC. IOUS.

Which, speaking of Laila, literally RIGHT before we get the Browning cameo, a point is made that Laila’s father/family knows someone in every alphabet agency. If Ichirou has people in the FBI, so does Laila. She has her family look into what’s going on. After the Ravens fans burned her house down, the Dermotts might be in on this too.

One of the last lines Nora gives us to contemplate between books is Neil’s care free “the rules have changed”. In tsc, this is followed by a mention of Neil’s deal with Ichirou. In tgr, it very pointedly is not.

If the FBI is smart, they have to surprise the weakest link somewhere where both his hesitation or the truth will damn the Moriyamas. I am almost certain Jean is going to be called to testify at “Nathan���s” trial and be surprised by a Moriyama question on the stand. If this is the case, Neil has to know the plan or Jean will not say anything. If Neil knows the next move, and he is sitting in the courtroom when the question comes, Jean will answer truthfully. I expect Andrew and Kevin to also be there, and I expect Kevin to lose it and Andrew to have some level of surprise, but not all. Neil will not tell him something that puts him in danger.

But if Stuart or the FBI or whomever has offered Neil a chance to take out the Moriyamas and make sure Kevin and Jean and Andrew are safe, Neil Josten is going to take it. Neil told Ichirou that Riko would be his downfall. He just didn’t tell Ichirou that it was already too late.

What comes after, I don’t know. But the Moriyama empire is going down and will be decimated by the end of this series. I am sure of this.

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Being a writer is rough because I have 600 OCs from scrapped story ideas that will never see the light of day but haunt me worse than the skeletons in my closet.

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hate when someone goes “ewww why would you make those characters have an awful unhealthy toxicstyle relationship that’s so gross nobody should ever read that.” well i am actually a small and repulsive creature and i live in a cave and i’m endangered and if i don’t read stories about characters who have a relationship that is bad for both of them & makes everything worse then i will die. and here you are saying i ought to be shot in the head. here you are trying to take me out back behind the barn. i’m not even hurting anyone and you hate me just because of my many hideous eyes that look like gelatinous piles of goo. and my diet is only raw fish

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okay, the brainrot won't leave me the fuck alone, here's some more thoughts

11. So can we please get my baby Jean a haircut. Let him feel vain. Let him care about his appearance. Get the guy some curl cream or smth (does he have curly hair or am I am projecting? I'm afraid I am Neil when it comes to paying attention to appearances)

12. just... more snarky Jean one liners. something something perfume on a frog. I want this man being an asshole. he is a snarky bitch in his heart. let the bitch out. pulling a kevin day, if you will.

13. i want cody & jean to become friends. jean following up about the pat/ananya situation. cody realizing jean is asking out of genuine care and upset. them hanging out and becoming friends and cat/laila/jeremy being excited that Jean is connecting with them.

14. i ALSO want lucas and jean progress, but they don't have to become besties. I feel like Lucas respects Jean more because of the grayson situation, and Jean loathes it, because he thinks it's pity (it is a little bit). maybe jean will make more hinting comments and lucas realizes how horrific the nest is. lucas having character growth and actually listening to jean. And if people have issues when JereJean come out as a couple to the Trojans, I want Lucas to be the first to defend Jean. Jean also loathes this. (this one I don't think is realistic at ALL at least in book two, but boy do I like to think about this.)

15. barbark is fine. all y'all saying jean will rip him up wound me. the only time jean breaks stuff is when he has his mental breakdown over riko and trashes the foxes dorms (unless im missing something). man has so few dear possessions and they were destroyed/defaced. maybe im wrong. maybe barkbark will meet his demise. but i dont want him to, and i dont think he will.

16. misplaced forever partners haunts me. can jean & neil be friends. like actual friends, not just 'by-the-way-i-just-ordered-a-hit-on-your-abuser' friends. which is weird that that is a type of friend. (lowkey ship them. don't sue me. drop ur fic recs ig)

anyway, current emotional state is: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

TGR predictions

(I'm way too lazy to make a bingo board. y'alls are cute tho.)

Combination of things that I want to happen, and things I think will happen

That interview goes bad (not bc of jean/kevin tension, though that's there too) but because Jean can't keep his mouth shut. There's multiple times in TSC where he says stuff he doesn't mean to reveal and... he's not media trained. He's said it so many times. I think he reveals something. What, I don't know.

Renee visits (prob. comes with Kevin for the interview?). This is purely selfish, I just want her and Jean to talk about his list of good things, and I want Jeremy to be a lil jealous. As a treat, if you will.

I've saw someone talk about this earlier, so forgive me, this is not an original thought, but I NEED Kevin and Jean marking each other in a game. I ALSO desperately want Jean and Neil to mark each other. I can't pick. Mostly I want them all chirping each other in French but idk how realistic that is.

The hit on Grayson comes to fruition. Jean is terrible at pretending to be surprised. Chaos ensues. What chaos, I haven't decided.

Jean gets pushed into a pool. I'm not done whumping him sorry not sorry. I live for the angst.

But also! Jeremy gets injured (doesn't have to be in a game. could be related to brother/stepdad/grandfather/Jeremy tell us ur scetchy past stuff). Again, I live for the angst. Not sorry. (This could potentially be a book 3 thing as well)

I want Jean to buy something with ducks on it as a memento for Elodie. Ideally I want her to miraculously be alive but that's not realistic at all. So he carries around a lil keychain or magnet or something.

Painful, painful JereJean mutual pining. Ceramics is so fucking homoerotic but it isn't addressed. Like I want them to kiss, but it's more entertaining if it's painful. (can you tell I like angst)

Jean develops a new mantra! And it involves Jeremy! As his partner! And Jeremy catches on and uses it more! When Jean is spiraling. And then, hear me out, Jean comforts Jeremy with it when Jeremy inevitably spirals, bc it's helped Jean so much.

I cry. And read it... at least twice that weekend.

(Might add more to this as we get closer, but this is what we got so far)

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okay okay hold on I'm on my way

Starting a prayer circle so we can witness service top Jeremy in The Golden Raven

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fuck this i'm going to [remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health] get jeremy knox pregnant.

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needed this today ✍️✍️✍️

yes researching for fic is fun but did you know you can make things up and no one can stop you