thomasharrisonfox

[thomasharrisonfox]

It’s time to be proud!

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[thomasharrisonfox]

Hogwarts Houses as consoles

Gryffindor: XBox! I love Halo and and Doom and Skyrim and Fallout! I can be a badass in those games

Hufflepuff: Nintendo! I love the fun of Mario! the cuteness of Pokémon and I love Zelda!

Slytherin: Sony! I love the art of Persona, the coolness of Kratos, the class of Uncharted and I love me some JRPGS!

Ravenclaw: PC Master Race! I’m in the modding community and we are the most powerful way to play video games. But I also have a soft spot for SEGA. There is a charm in Yakuza and I love me some super monkey ball. Also Sonic   

[thomasharrisonfox]

The 7 Deadly Sins

[thomasharrisonfox]

Wolf: GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!!

Fox: Calm down Wolf!

Wolf: get your fuzzy paws off me Foxikkins!! 

Fox: Please calm down Wolfie pins!! We don’t want a repeat of our first date!

Smashers: .....

Fox: .....

Wolf: .....

Sonic, Dark Pit, Falco and Lucario: That would be $50

All the Smashers except Sonic, DP, Falco, Lucario, Fox and Wolf: I hate you

[After Galeem’s and Darkhon’s defeat]

Wolf: We did it!

Pit: We won! We won! We won!

[the smashers gets close while they’re celebrating their victory.]

Wolf: [quickly taking out his blaster] BACK! GET BACK, YOU SAVAGES!

Pit, and the other Smashers moving back: Whoah!

Fox: [getting in front of Wolf] Sorry! Sorry! He’s just not used to positive feedback.

[thomasharrisonfox]

MegaMan: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Toon Link will and will not eat.

Ness: Grass? Yes!

Pit: Moss? Yes!!

Ness: Leaves? Ohh, yes!

MegaMan: Shoelaces? Strange but true!

Ness: Worms? Sometimes!

MegaMan: Rocks? Usually nah.

Pit: Twigs? Usually!

MegaMan: Mythra’s cooking? Inconclusive!

Zelda: I’m sorry, but how did you… test this?

Ness: You just hand them stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if they eat it, they eat it.

Zelda: … I don’t know how to feel about this.

Blue: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

[thomasharrisonfox]

Mario: What the?

Sonic: You may have won the console war. But I will have the last laugh. Now all of Nintendo is under a life debt to me 

Sonic: Vibe check.

Sonic: (destroys Tabuu’s wings)

[thomasharrisonfox]

Hello, I’m a simple madman here with a rather compelling theory i think

So it’s confirmed Nintendo will be at E3 this year, yeah?

Meaning we likely will get a character reveal.

When is E3?

The date is scarily close to anothers..

I feel the next DLC character is going to be the robust robot creator, Dr. Ivo Robotnik, aka:

Dr. Eggman

The timeline matches up near perfect. Characters like sephiroth and byleth were announced one day and released nearly a week later. A lot release same day, to be fair.

Meaning Eggman can be announced at E3, have a direct a while later, and have the character drop on the anniversary date. It only makes sense.

He’d even complete the villain lineup :)

Thanks for coming to my TED talk

[thomasharrisonfox]

If Video Game Companies were people

Nintendo: Your childhood best friend that is fun to be around. Is super likeable and is a complete man-child. However he has a GIANT ego, and he goes crazy if you try to copy him 

Sega: Your other childhood best friend. He and Nintendo used to be giant rivals, however SEGA had recently fell into hard times. He isn’t as fun to be around as Nintendo, however he tries his best, and he full blown allows you to use his stuff. Things are looking up for him recently. Has a pet hedgehogs that he loves, however he made a few mistakes when caring for him. 

Sony: A Japanese business man, that is a neat freak and has giant OCD. He is fun to be around at parties. Has a rivalry with Microsoft. 

Microsoft: An American business man, that is a complete computer genius and he is apparently a good shooter.  

Capcom: A Japanese marital artist with a cyborg arm. Is best friends with Nintendo and Sega. Can be dotty and makes a few blunders here and there. Also likes puzzles, has a law degree, and a monster fetish. 

Valve: A shop keeper that likes to joke that he can’t count past 3. Has a literal valve handle stuck in the back of his head. He wears the suit from Half-Life and carries around a portal gun. He’s well loved by all  

Epic: Valve’s rival. A battle royal contestant/host. He has made a ton of money through his battle royal alone and he intends to use his money to buy other properties. Is trying to compete with Valve, but is failing.

Ubisoft: A French sniper and assassin. He’s a master of silent kills and an excellent hacker, but he is prone to messing up. He also good at dancing and loves to party when he has free time. Is a history nerd and loves alternate history stories

EA: A mob boss that runs a pyramid scheme. He is always scheming about how to make more money in the most immoral way possible. He abuses his children on the daily and goes into a tirade if he’s not making enough money.  

Bethesda: A fallout survivor hermit that is surrounded by bugs and is always lying. However he has high charisma, is a smooth talker and outgoing; very sociable and easy to talk to. He tends to repeat himself, often giving everyone the same thing in a different form. He’s a total dork/nerd/geek.

Activision: A veteran solider that used to be a good man and Sony’s best friend, however greed had corrupted him. Is now EA’s rival and is just as, if not worse than him. Is abusive to his wife, Blizzard. Is trying to redeem himself with a bandicoot and a dragon.  

Blizzard: Is Activision’s wife. Is very creative and loves E - sports. However she has a questionable relationship with China. 

Konami: An angry dishonorably discharged espionage soldier. He used to be a hero in the eyes of many, but became bitter and greedy and now runs his own casino. Makes EA look like a saint. 

Square:  A strikingly handsome Japanese swordsman. He’s tends to overcomplicate things which therefore confuses everyone. He’s a music lover and always finds the beauty in aesthetics. Is a fantastic story teller, and has a complicated relationship with Nintendo

Rare: A British man that is on death’s bed. He’s forgotten by most everyone. He often remembers the golden years and wishes he could go back and relive them again. Is under care by Microsoft and Nintendo, but they are not good at it.

CD Projekt Red: A Polish swordsman who was on the brink of dying, but was revived and praised by all. Owns his own store which he periodically watches over. Unfortunately, when he was building a flying car it blew up in his face, and is trying to recover from it.  

Atari: A French man that used to be the cool kid on the block, until he had an incident with an Alien. Died when he was run over by Sega and Nintendo. Was a good ping pong player 

Level 5: A detective that loves puzzles. He also has a magical watch that allows him to see Yo-Kai. He’s world renowned for his keen puzzle-solving skills and abilities to contact the spirit world. Is best friends with Capcom

[thomasharrisonfox]

Who Broke it?

SEGA: So... who broke it? [Everyone looks at the broken model of the Dreamcast 2 Micro-console] I'm not mad. I just want to know.

Nintendo: I did. I broke-

SEGA: No, no you didn't. Sony?

Sony: Don't look at me. Look at Microsoft.

Microsoft: What? I didn't break it.

Sony: Huh. That's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Microsoft: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Sony: [leans in on him] Suspicious.

Microsoft: No it’s not!

Ubisoft: If it matters - probably not - but I saw Square near it

Square: Liar! I’m not interested in sabotaging SEGA

Ubisoft: Oh, really? Then what were you doing in SEGA’s office earlier?

Square: I was there to tell him that Yuji Naka’s new game was a disaster!

Ubisoft: Geez take the chill pill 

Nintendo: All right, let’s not fight. I broke it, SEGA you can make a mini console, just like me and Sony.

SEGA: No! Who broke it?!

Activision: [looks at EA, then at SEGA] Sega... EA's been awfully quiet.

EA: REALLY??

Activision: Yeah! Really! 

EA: Oh, my God!!! [everyone starts arguing at one another except SEGA, who leaves the room and run’s into Capcom]

Capcom: Who...

SEGA: I broke it. It wasn’t working very well, and I realized that I would be doing the same mistake as what happened to the Ouya and Stadia. I predict ten minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. [turns to look at the video game companies as they continue to argue, then looks back] Good. It is payback for them mocking me for all these years. 

[thomasharrisonfox]

Every DnD session

Old Wizard: What can you do?

Barbarian: I’m super strong

Fighter: I always win fights

Sorcerer: I’m good at magic

Rouge: I’m good at stealth 

Monk: I make good decisions 

Old Wizard: That’s not really a power...

Fighter: No, trust me, it is.