titiagls - Tumblr blog

[titiagls]

I have a theory about gen z and millennials, so please help me out with this poll.

Please make sure to vote as to whether you got vaccinated as a child or not, if you did not get chicken pox. Take care, spread this around, and vaccinate your fucking kids. Poll is not exclusive to any country. Vote no matter where you're from.

[titiagls]

Thanks to the really talented @redreart here we have Destiny's and Joseph's twins : Matt and Theo. At first I wanted to wait for their apparition in the story to share this but as I'm stuck sooooooo much (😭) I decided to share it now 😅

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A post shared by Safe Place 🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈 (@fuck_homophobia__)

[titiagls]

❈ The Seed Family ❈

Joseph - Jacob - John - Faith

[titiagls]

[titiagls]

yesterday when working with my case manager, she went through a long checklist of my comprehensive needs to refresh our treatment plan. as a part of the questions she was asking me, she asked for various areas of my financial struggles, including if i was able to afford social activities such as hanging out with friends, going to the movies, etc. as part of my necessary purchases. the question was specifically phrased as "Do you have enough money every month to be able to afford social activities?"

this was not proposed as a "luxury". the question was not phrased as "Do you have enough money every month to afford luxuries/luxury purchases?" this was listed with the necessities like food, housing, medical needs, transportation, bills, and clothing. this made me burst into tears when i realized it was considered a necessary part of everyone's mental and well being. my case manager told me that not a singular person on this planet deserves to have to "earn" the right to socialize, interact with leisure activities, or to do things that bring you personal fulfillment. your money does not, and should not entirely go toward survival and practicality. it will ruin your mental health.

to any poor person who has ever been told that they don't "need" or "deserve" social or leisure activities or that your money "needs" to go 100% toward survival: they are straight up lying to you. it is a fundamental part of your mental health. don't fucking listen to them.

[titiagls]

do you guys ever like forget you're interested in something until you start engaging with it again and you go "oh wait i'm like crazy crazy about this yeah"

[titiagls]

[titiagls]

Feel free to delete this, but: in light of all of the stuff about creative envy/jealousy lately, I'm wondering if you have any advice for a person whose creative self-esteem has been completely destroyed by negative fandom experiences. I greatly appreciate your blog and I'm not sure where else to turn at this point. I am an older person in fandom (I am nearly fifty) and in a conservative career path, and I have nobody IRL I can talk to about fandom-related business for fear of judgment, retaliation, or just "making things worse".

I've been writing fanfiction for around fifteen years, mostly in several video game fandoms. In 2022 I started writing for a smaller fandom (like, <1000 works on AO3 kind of small), which is what got me to finally join Tumblr. Right away, I realized it was the same three people (over and over) in this fandom who seemed to organize all collaborative projects and just sort of "hovered around" everyone. One of them was a very popular author, and they both wrote a popular ship (we'll call them "X/Y"), whereas I preferred to ship X with Z. I generally kept to myself and did my own thing. I occasionally wrote smut with these characters, but mostly just supernatural dramas and humor rated M or below.

My writing, of course, was not popular (because of the ship, I'd presume - which, mind you, was two consenting adults), and the lack of engagement/feedback was really shitty (but manageable to a degree). But then these people who seemed to hold all the social capital in this fandom started coming after me. It started with passive-aggressive vagueposting, and it ended with one of them messaging me out of nowhere (while I was at work) to tell me I was not allowed to submit any work to an "anthology" they were curating because my work made them all feel "icky", while one of the others refused to interact with me at all despite not even knowing me (which another person told me was over shipping, too). I was also told nobody wanted to do fic trades/prompts with me because my work was "too out there" and was "causing discomfort". My work isn't kink/fetish, gore, pro-bigotry or anything like that - it's just a minor-character ship that people got their undies wadded up over for a reason I still don't understand.

I ended up so crushed by this backlash that I stopped writing anything to do with that game and unfollowed/blocked most content related to it as well. And now I want to write something new, and share something new on AO3, and I just...can't. I'm so scared that this will just happen to me again, I'm convinced the problem is me, that I'm a terrible writer, that I'm a reject and a freak, that I brought all of this on myself by doing something unpopular/different, and I'm just...not sure how to abort this creative self-hate spiral I've gotten stuck in, and I'd appreciate any thoughts you could give me, because time and space and touching grass aren't fixing it.

Oh anon, I'm so sorry you went through that 💗 None of that was your fault, and none of it was deserved. You were being bullied by a group of mean-minded individuals who decided to target you over, presumably, which two dolls you liked to make kiss.

None of their behaviour was actually about you. Nothing you did was actually wrong. You're not a terrible writer or a reject or a freak. You're a human being who was treated horribly by others. Those fans who were bullying you have a lot more to be ashamed of than you do.

I totally understand why you'd feel the way you do, anon. The tactics that they used convinced you that you were the problem instead of them. But bullying is always about the issues that the bully isn't dealing with. Their ego, their insecurities, their need for power or control.

I'm sorry that you don't have a support system you can talk to, and I'm glad you reached out. If you have the ability to, I'd recommend seeking a counsellor or therapist that you can talk to about it more. People in those roles shouldn't be judgmental in the way you're fearing, and they might be able to give you that support that you don't have anywhere else.

I hope you do continue writing, since it's something that brings you joy. And when you're ready to post on AO3 again, make sure you use the tools available to protect you from bullying again. You can restrict comments to just registered (logged-in) users, and if someone starts harassing you, report it to the Policy & Abuse team. Restrict asks on tumblr so that you don't allow anons - or even turn your ask box off altogether.

I can't tell you with 100% certainty that this won't happen again, unfortunately. But what I can tell you is that people like that are a tiny minority in fandom. While they might end up accruing power sometimes and even become BNFs, there will always be people who see them for who they really are.

In the end, whether you write and post again or not, I just want you to know that you're not a horrible person, and you're not a freak. You're a fan who was writing about something you love, and you didn't deserve to be treated like that. 💗

[titiagls]

Just got out of the cinema where I watched Inside Out 2 and I must say that while I love the first movie, this second one is a real gem too, Pixar never disappoint me !

[titiagls]

I sadly had to lose my maternal grandparents and my father to realize the same thing : the problem isn't death, we know it will happen to everyone no matter the age, the problem is the absence...

[titiagls]

every time i start to feel cringe for being too deep in the hyperfixation i remember the intense depression i have waded through and have to remind myself that enjoyment is fleeting (so grab it with both hands), and life is for loving (so hold that love close), and if anyone thinks i’m cringe they must not be having a very good time (and i hope they can find a good time soon).

[titiagls]

[titiagls]

When reading fanfic keep in mind that for professional literature: 

Short story: under 7,500

Novelette: between 7,500 and 17,500

Novella: between 17,500 and 40,000

Novel: over 40,000

Fics over 40k are literally a novel written and shared for free.  If you have written a 40k+ fic, you have literally written a novel.

[titiagls]

You know what people don’t talk about often enough? Playing catch up in life after spending your teens or early 20s suicidally depressed. There’s so many more layers than just being able to say “I don’t want to die anymore.”

The difficulty in academia or a career after spending years thinking you wouldn’t be alive long enough for any of it to matter.

The exhaustion that comes from self awareness and self soothing, with the constant voice in your head saying “don’t go backwards.”

How lonely it is to watch the people your age starting families when you’re just barely learning what stable relationships are, and the sudden societal pressure of being “up against a clock” for these kinds of things.

The judgement from others if you change your image or interests this late in the game just because you finally figured out who you really are under the demons.

Be kind to those who are developing and blooming after years of not planning on being here long. We are living a life we absolutely didn’t think we’d have, and it’s hard enough without society reminding us there’s expectations of our age.

We didn’t get to be young; we were too busy fighting battles few know.

-

[titiagls]

I have two 10% discounted spots available to get additional meds for my cat 💜 he's doing so much better, thanks to everyone who helped !!!

[titiagls]

Last Line Game

Tagged by : @cassietrn (thank you my lovely 😘) Tagging : @cloudofbutterflies92 @g0dspeeed @direwombat @simplegenius042 and anyone who wants to do it (sorry in case of double tags)

Without leaving him time to answer, Destiny left the room, the door not closing properly behind her and Raphael heard her talking to someone. "Tell Brother John to prepare for the Cleansing, the sinner will give me his answer soon."

"I will. Praise be to you Mother."