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they/ them | ao3: 8piphany | i write i guess@toastedpagesfiles for masterlist
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toastedpages ¡ 4 months ago
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i might write Nanami domestic husband typa shi 😂
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toastedpages ¡ 5 months ago
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hush
short ran haitani x reader au
2,313 words
one shot (?)
read here : https://archiveofourown.org/works/62911465
thank you for reading ! 🙌
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toastedpages ¡ 5 months ago
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we can’t always get what we want
a drabble | Chifuyu Matsuno x reader
A/N: i spent 2 hours writing this one 😭 im bawlin’
You sigh, dropping your phone onto the bed with a dull thud. Lying there, staring at the ceiling, you wonder—what would’ve happened if you’d just confessed sooner?
Chifuyu has been your best friend since childhood, the boy you've had a hopeless crush on for almost ten years. At first, it was easy to brush off—just a fleeting thing, a silly infatuation born from spending too much time together. But now, in your twenties, it’s different. It feels different. Deeper, heavier—like real love.
But is it? Or is it just a prolonged crush, twisted into something bigger? Falling for your childhood best friend—it sounds like something ripped straight from a cheesy romance novel.
And yet, the thought of telling him lingers. Even if you’ve spent years convincing yourself it doesn’t matter, that it’s not a big deal, that you can live with this secret—
You don’t want to live with it anymore.
A week after your failed attempt at confessing, you find yourself venting to Baji, another childhood friend who somehow managed to figure out your feelings long before you ever admitted them to yourself. He never pushed you, never spilled your secret—just waited, letting you come to terms with it at your own pace.
“You never know what might happen,” he said, slurping up the peyoung yakisoba you bought him. “Anything could happen. You know, possibilities are endless.”
You shoot him a look. Of course, you’ve thought about it. A thousand different outcomes have played out in your head—some good, most bad. Maybe Chifuyu likes you back. Maybe he doesn’t. Maybe he lets you down gently, or maybe it ruins everything.
Or maybe—just maybe—he’s felt the same way all along.
The thought is enough to make you feel insane.
“So, what’s the plan?” Baji asks, raising a brow.
You shrug. There is no plan. There never was. Chifuyu is your first love, and you don’t know how to let go of that.
You want to move on. You want to discard these feelings and live peacefully, without the awkwardness of flinching when he gets too close or feeling your stomach twist when he talks about his crushes. Without the ache in your chest that makes it harder to breathe.
But the world won’t let you.
Because every time you see him, Chifuyu just gets brighter. His presence is undeniable—like a magnet, like gravity. Everything slows when he walks toward you, the world narrowing until it’s just him. His green eyes, his blond hair—you can pick him out in any crowd, in any place, without a second thought.
And then he smiles.
And suddenly, forgetting him feels impossible.
Chifuyu has always been kind. That’s what you like most about him.
But maybe that’s also the problem.
Because every time he shows you kindness—every time he remembers your favorite drink, or throws an arm around your shoulder, or listens to your rants without complaint—it’s so easy to believe it’s just for you. Like you’re special. Like you mean something more.
But you’ve seen him do the same for others. You’ve seen the way he laughs with his friends, how easily he cares for everyone around him.
To him, it’s nothing. Just how he is.
To you? It’s everything.
And now, here you are—trapped in a moment that feels like fate.
Chifuyu's green eyes lock onto yours, concern flickering behind them. He reaches for your hand, his thumb brushing gently over your skin, the warmth of his touch sending a shiver down your spine.
This is it, you think.
“You okay? You’ve seemed a lil’ down lately,” he asks, voice soft. “I’m always here to listen, Y/N.”
The words nearly break you.
You swallow hard, forcing down the lump in your throat, blinking back the sting of tears. You don’t want to cry—not here, not now, not in front of him. Not when you’ve spent years hiding this part of yourself.
But there’s no turning back.
With a shaky inhale, you finally speak.
“…I’ve liked you, Chifuyu. Since we were ten.”
His eyes widen slightly, but you push forward, the words spilling out before you can stop them.
“I don’t know when it started. Maybe it was when you stood up for me in elementary school, or when you shared your snacks with me even though you loved them just as much. Maybe it was when you started showing up at my house after bad days, just to make sure I was okay. I don’t know.” You laugh, breathless. “But I do know that I’ve liked you for ten years. And I tried—I really tried—to let it go, but I can’t. I just… I can’t.”
Silence.
You feel sick. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe—
Then, he squeezes your hand.
And in that single touch, you already know.
He exhales softly, lips parting—like he wants to say something, but the words don’t come easily. His eyes flicker with something unreadable, something hesitant, something not love.
A small, sad smile pulls at his lips. “Y/N…”
It’s all he says.
But it’s all he needs to say.
Your heart sinks.
You nod, even though you don’t want to. Even though it hurts. Even though a stupid, hopeful part of you wants to shake him and demand why not?—why can’t things just work out the way you want them to?
But life doesn’t work that way.
Chifuyu is your best friend. And you’re his. That’s all you’ve ever been to him.
You squeeze his hand once before letting go.
You’re ready to accept everything. It won’t affect you... anymore? The pain would still be there, but you know you can always move forward and just be happy for the both of you.
We can’t always get what we want.
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