tortoiseandtherose

[tortoiseandtherose]

VAGABOND BLADES - OUTLAW ROYALTY (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1520610188-vagabond-blades-outlaw-royalty?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=slayershigaraki Oh, another post-apocalyptic story? How original, right? Pft! Look at ya... sittin' there with your smug, arm-chair critic opinions; puffin' out your chest like you're the final boss of good taste. "It's all been done before." Oh, no shit, Nostradamus. So has fuckin' breathing, but here you are, still doing that. The delusion is palpable, my guy. You think your limp-dick cynicism makes you clever? You think you've got the range to shit on this demon slaughtering, blood slick, chaos drenched fever dream? Fuck you. You don't know shit. You definitely don't know Sky King and Ezra Black. If you did? You'd be swan-diving into this bangarang mayhem. But hey, no pressure. Nobody's stapling your eyelids open. You wanna ghost out? Bye! This isn't a fucking sleepover. This is volitional havoc, baby. We're not here to beg you. Ezra and Sky? They're two majestic slaughterhouses who have been Crane kickin' existential horror in the dick since they were seven & eight. You ever see an eight-year-old tear a demon's jaw off with his bare fuckin' hands? You should. These two were goin' full Mortal Kombat on demons. Bare-knuckle survival in a nonstop horror gangbang of blood, viscera, fangs, claws, and absolutely zero goddamn hugs. No bedtime stories, no parents, just rage boners and annihilation. Cut to the now. The boys are knocking on thirty and they're incorporeal. In a world they shouldn't have survived, they Detroit Smashed that shit into the goddamn pavement. Yeah, they shook it down in the most disrespectful way possible. Savage intellect, weaponized charm, and pure, unapologetic carnage. The last remaining relics of a time when people had balls. Sure, maybe their moral compass is more of a "suggestion" than a "guiding principle." Who gives a fuck? If you were expecting some virtuous, noble bullshit, I don't know what to tell you. Wrong story, pal. *Cue the goddamn soundtrack* (Now let's rip that fourth wall down and go ride this motherfucker into the sunset!)

[tortoiseandtherose]

VAGABOND BLADES - OUTLAW ROYALTY (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1520610188-vagabond-blades-outlaw-royalty?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=slayershigaraki Oh, another post-apocalyptic story? How original, right? Pft! Look at ya... sittin' there with your smug, arm-chair critic opinions; puffin' out your chest like you're the final boss of good taste. "It's all been done before." Oh, no shit, Nostradamus. So has fuckin' breathing, but here you are, still doing that. The delusion is palpable, my guy. You think your limp-dick cynicism makes you clever? You think you've got the range to shit on this demon slaughtering, blood slick, chaos drenched fever dream? Fuck you. You don't know shit. You definitely don't know Sky King and Ezra Black. If you did? You'd be swan-diving into this bangarang mayhem. But hey, no pressure. Nobody's stapling your eyelids open. You wanna ghost out? Bye! This isn't a fucking sleepover. This is volitional havoc, baby. We're not here to beg you. Ezra and Sky? They're two majestic slaughterhouses who have been Crane kickin' existential horror in the dick since they were seven & eight. You ever see an eight-year-old tear a demon's jaw off with his bare fuckin' hands? You should. These two were goin' full Mortal Kombat on demons. Bare-knuckle survival in a nonstop horror gangbang of blood, viscera, fangs, claws, and absolutely zero goddamn hugs. No bedtime stories, no parents, just rage boners and annihilation. Cut to the now. The boys are knocking on thirty and they're incorporeal. In a world they shouldn't have survived, they Detroit Smashed that shit into the goddamn pavement. Yeah, they shook it down in the most disrespectful way possible. Savage intellect, weaponized charm, and pure, unapologetic carnage. The last remaining relics of a time when people had balls. Sure, maybe their moral compass is more of a "suggestion" than a "guiding principle." Who gives a fuck? If you were expecting some virtuous, noble bullshit, I don't know what to tell you. Wrong story, pal. *Cue the goddamn soundtrack* (Now let's rip that fourth wall down and go ride this motherfucker into the sunset!)

[tortoiseandtherose]

VAGABOND BLADES - IN FULL BLOOM (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1523851768-vagabond-blades-in-full-bloom?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=slayershigaraki Oh, another post-apocalyptic story? How original, right? Pft! Look at ya... sittin' there with your smug, arm-chair critic opinions; puffin' out your chest like you're the final boss of good taste. "It's all been done before." Oh, no shit, Nostradamus. So has fuckin' breathing, but here you are, still doing that. The delusion is palpable, my guy. You think your limp-dick cynicism makes you clever? You think you've got the range to shit on this demon slaughtering, blood slick, chaos drenched fever dream? Fuck you. You don't know shit. You definitely don't know Sky King and Ezra Black. If you did? You'd be swan-diving into this bangarang mayhem. But hey, no pressure. Nobody's stapling your eyelids open. You wanna ghost out? Bye! This isn't a fucking sleepover. This is volitional havoc, baby. We're not here to beg you. Ezra and Sky? They're two majestic slaughterhouses who have been Crane kickin' existential horror in the dick since they were seven & eight. You ever see an eight-year-old tear a demon's jaw off with his bare fuckin' hands? You should. These two were goin' full Mortal Kombat on demons. Bare-knuckle survival in a nonstop horror gangbang of blood, viscera, fangs, claws, and absolutely zero goddamn hugs. No bedtime stories, no parents, just rage boners and annihilation. Cut to the now. The boys are knocking on thirty and they're incorporeal. In a world they shouldn't have survived, they Detroit Smashed that shit into the goddamn pavement. Yeah, they shook it down in the most disrespectful way possible. Savage intellect, weaponized charm, and pure, unapologetic carnage. The last remaining relics of a time when people had balls. Sure, maybe their moral compass is more of a "suggestion" than a "guiding principle." Who gives a fuck? If you were expecting some virtuous, noble bullshit, I don't know what to tell you. Wrong story, pal. *Cue the goddamn soundtrack* (Now let's rip that fourth wall down and go ride this motherfucker into the sunset!)

[tortoiseandtherose]

VAGABOND BLADES - BLACK JEDI SORCERY (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1523687414-vagabond-blades-black-jedi-sorcery?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=slayershigaraki Oh, another post-apocalyptic story? How original, right? Pft! Look at ya... sittin' there with your smug, arm-chair critic opinions; puffin' out your chest like you're the final boss of good taste. "It's all been done before." Oh, no shit, Nostradamus. So has fuckin' breathing, but here you are, still doing that. The delusion is palpable, my guy. You think your limp-dick cynicism makes you clever? You think you've got the range to shit on this demon slaughtering, blood slick, chaos drenched fever dream? Fuck you. You don't know shit. You definitely don't know Sky King and Ezra Black. If you did? You'd be swan-diving into this bangarang mayhem. But hey, no pressure. Nobody's stapling your eyelids open. You wanna ghost out? Bye! This isn't a fucking sleepover. This is volitional havoc, baby. We're not here to beg you. Ezra and Sky? They're two majestic slaughterhouses who have been Crane kickin' existential horror in the dick since they were seven & eight. You ever see an eight-year-old tear a demon's jaw off with his bare fuckin' hands? You should. These two were goin' full Mortal Kombat on demons. Bare-knuckle survival in a nonstop horror gangbang of blood, viscera, fangs, claws, and absolutely zero goddamn hugs. No bedtime stories, no parents, just rage boners and annihilation. Cut to the now. The boys are knocking on thirty and they're incorporeal. In a world they shouldn't have survived, they Detroit Smashed that shit into the goddamn pavement. Yeah, they shook it down in the most disrespectful way possible. Savage intellect, weaponized charm, and pure, unapologetic carnage. The last remaining relics of a time when people had balls. Sure, maybe their moral compass is more of a "suggestion" than a "guiding principle." Who gives a fuck? If you were expecting some virtuous, noble bullshit, I don't know what to tell you. Wrong story, pal. *Cue the goddamn soundtrack* (Now let's rip that fourth wall down and go ride this motherfucker into the sunset!)

[tortoiseandtherose]

VAGABOND BLADES - MAGNIFICENT MOTHERFUCKERS (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1520560581-vagabond-blades-magnificent-motherfuckers?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=slayershigaraki Oh, another post-apocalyptic story? How original, right? Pft! Look at ya... sittin' there with your smug, arm-chair critic opinions; puffin' out your chest like you're the final boss of good taste. "It's all been done before." Oh, no shit, Nostradamus. So has fuckin' breathing, but here you are, still doing that. The delusion is palpable, my guy. You think your limp-dick cynicism makes you clever? You think you've got the range to shit on this demon slaughtering, blood slick, chaos drenched fever dream? Fuck you. You don't know shit. You definitely don't know Sky King and Ezra Black. If you did? You'd be swan-diving into this bangarang mayhem. But hey, no pressure. Nobody's stapling your eyelids open. You wanna ghost out? Bye! This isn't a fucking sleepover. This is volitional havoc, baby. We're not here to beg you. Ezra and Sky? They're two majestic slaughterhouses who have been Crane kickin' existential horror in the dick since they were seven & eight. You ever see an eight-year-old tear a demon's jaw off with his bare fuckin' hands? You should. These two were goin' full Mortal Kombat on demons. Bare-knuckle survival in a nonstop horror gangbang of blood, viscera, fangs, claws, and absolutely zero goddamn hugs. No bedtime stories, no parents, just rage boners and annihilation. Cut to the now. The boys are knocking on thirty and they're incorporeal. In a world they shouldn't have survived, they Detroit Smashed that shit into the goddamn pavement. Yeah, they shook it down in the most disrespectful way possible. Savage intellect, weaponized charm, and pure, unapologetic carnage. The last remaining relics of a time when people had balls. Sure, maybe their moral compass is more of a "suggestion" than a "guiding principle." Who gives a fuck? If you were expecting some virtuous, noble bullshit, I don't know what to tell you. Wrong story, pal. *Cue the goddamn soundtrack* (Now let's rip that fourth wall down and go ride this motherfucker into the sunset!)

[tortoiseandtherose]

VAGABOND BLADES - GODDAMN SYMPHONY OF VIOLENCE (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1522800593-vagabond-blades-goddamn-symphony-of-violence?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=slayershigaraki Oh, look at you. Perched up with that pretentious, void-eyed expression, like you've transcended narrative structure or some shit. "Oh, a post-apocalyptic story? Yawn. Predictable. I'm so emotionally unavailable I can't even get hard for world-ending stakes anymore." Fuck you. You don't know a goddamn thing. And you sure as hell don't know Sky King and Ezra Black. If you did? You'd be swan-diving into this blood-soaked, bangarang mayhem. But hey... no pressure. Nobody's stapling your eyelids open. You wanna ghost out? Bye motherfucker. This is volitional havoc, baby. We're not here to beg you. Ezra and Sky? Oh, they're two majestic-ass, demon-slayin', slaughterhouses. These motherfuckers have been roundhouse-kicking existential horror in the dick since they were seven and eight? Barely old enough to tie their fuckin' shoes. These two were goin' full Mortal Kombat on demons. Bare-knuckle survival in a nonstop horror gangbang of blood, guts, teeth, claws, and absolutely zero goddamn hugs. No bedtime stories, no parents, just rage boners and calamity. Cut to the now. The boys are knocking on thirty... and they're incorporeal. In a world they shouldn't have survived, they Detroit Smashed that shit into the goddamn pavement. Yeah, they shook it down in the most disrespectful way possible and they're not just surviving... they're thriving like absolute fucking kings. Sure, maybe their moral compass is more of a "suggestion" than a "guiding principle." Who gives a fuck? If you were expecting some righteous, noble bullshit, I don't know what to tell you. Wrong story, champ. Sky and Ezra? They're nightmares wrapped in sex appeal and soaked in blood. These two don't sneak up on you in the dark... they own the dark. They don't haunt dreams... they ruin them. *Cue the goddamn soundtrack* (Now let's rip that fourth wall down and go ride this motherfucker into the sunset!)

[tortoiseandtherose]

VAGABOND BLADES - GODDAMN SYMPHONY OF VIOLENCE (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1522800593-vagabond-blades-goddamn-symphony-of-violence?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=slayershigaraki Oh, look at you. Perched up with that pretentious, void-eyed expression, like you've transcended narrative structure or some shit. "Oh, a post-apocalyptic story? Yawn. Predictable. I'm so emotionally unavailable I can't even get hard for world-ending stakes anymore." Fuck you. You don't know a goddamn thing. And you sure as hell don't know Sky King and Ezra Black. If you did? You'd be swan-diving into this blood-soaked, bangarang mayhem. But hey... no pressure. Nobody's stapling your eyelids open. You wanna ghost out? Bye motherfucker. This is volitional havoc, baby. We're not here to beg you. Ezra and Sky? Oh, they're two majestic-ass, demon-slayin', slaughterhouses. These motherfuckers have been roundhouse-kicking existential horror in the dick since they were seven and eight? Barely old enough to tie their fuckin' shoes. These two were goin' full Mortal Kombat on demons. Bare-knuckle survival in a nonstop horror gangbang of blood, guts, teeth, claws, and absolutely zero goddamn hugs. No bedtime stories, no parents, just rage boners and calamity. Cut to the now. The boys are knocking on thirty... and they're incorporeal. In a world they shouldn't have survived, they Detroit Smashed that shit into the goddamn pavement. Yeah, they shook it down in the most disrespectful way possible and they're not just surviving... they're thriving like absolute fucking kings. Sure, maybe their moral compass is more of a "suggestion" than a "guiding principle." Who gives a fuck? If you were expecting some righteous, noble bullshit, I don't know what to tell you. Wrong story, champ. Sky and Ezra? They're nightmares wrapped in sex appeal and soaked in blood. These two don't sneak up on you in the dark... they own the dark. They don't haunt dreams... they ruin them. *Cue the goddamn soundtrack* (Now let's rip that fourth wall down and go ride this motherfucker into the sunset!)

[tortoiseandtherose]

VAGABOND BLADES - YOU THINK IM THE VILLAIN? (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1522645860-vagabond-blades-you-think-im-the-villain?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=slayershigaraki Oh, look at you. Perched up with that pretentious, void-eyed expression, like you've transcended narrative structure or some shit. "Oh, a post-apocalyptic story? Yawn. Predictable. I'm so emotionally unavailable I can't even get hard for world-ending stakes anymore." Fuck you. You don't know a goddamn thing. And you sure as hell don't know Sky King and Ezra Black. If you did? You'd be swan-diving into this blood-soaked, bangarang mayhem. But hey... no pressure. Nobody's stapling your eyelids open. You wanna ghost out? Bye motherfucker. This is volitional havoc, baby. We're not here to beg you. Ezra and Sky? Oh, they're two majestic-ass, demon-slayin', slaughterhouses. These motherfuckers have been roundhouse-kicking existential horror in the dick since they were seven and eight? Barely old enough to tie their fuckin' shoes. These two were goin' full Mortal Kombat on demons. Bare-knuckle survival in a nonstop horror gangbang of blood, guts, teeth, claws, and absolutely zero goddamn hugs. No bedtime stories, no parents, just rage boners and calamity. Cut to the now. The boys are knocking on thirty... and they're incorporeal. In a world they shouldn't have survived, they Detroit Smashed that shit into the goddamn pavement. Yeah, they shook it down in the most disrespectful way possible and they're not just surviving... they're thriving like absolute fucking kings. Sure, maybe their moral compass is more of a "suggestion" than a "guiding principle." Who gives a fuck? If you were expecting some righteous, noble bullshit, I don't know what to tell you. Wrong story, champ. Sky and Ezra? They're nightmares wrapped in sex appeal and soaked in blood. These two don't sneak up on you in the dark... they own the dark. They don't haunt dreams... they ruin them. *Cue the goddamn soundtrack* (Now let's rip that fourth wall down and go ride this motherfucker into the sunset!)

[tortoiseandtherose]

THE RULE OF THREE - DELICATE WEAPON (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1512881767-the-rule-of-three-delicate-weapon?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=slayershigaraki You stumble into two situationships simultaneously. As in, two Hashira are all up in your business. There's not just attraction; there's this magnetic pull, this insane connection that you can't explain. And you're trying to push them away, "Look, I just want to murder demons, go away!" But these guys? They're not backing down. They've both made it abundantly clear: they aren't sharing. The level of possessiveness is... well, let's just say it's a whole other demon you didn't anticipate facing. So, there you are, a multi-breathing, demon-slaying machine who just wants to get the job done, saddled with a teenage apprentice who looks up to you, and somehow tangled in a love triangle with two top-tier demon slayers who are basically playing a tug-of-war with you as the rope. And let's not forget, all the while, you've got the shadow of Doma looming in your past like a bad acid trip. It's like, you finally made it to the big leagues... and it's a whole new kind of insane. A good kind of insane... maybe? Yeah, this is gonna be one wild ride.

[tortoiseandtherose]

VAGABOND BLADES (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/story/390322725-vagabond-blades?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_myworks&wp_uname=slayershigaraki Oh, look at you. Perched up with that pretentious, void-eyed expression, like you've transcended narrative structure or some shit. "Oh, a post-apocalyptic story? Yawn. Predictable. I'm so emotionally unavailable I can't even get hard for world-ending stakes anymore." Fuck you. You don't know a goddamn thing. And you sure as hell don't know Sky King and Ezra Black. If you did? You'd be swan-diving into this blood-soaked, bangarang mayhem. But hey... no pressure. Nobody's stapling your eyelids open. You wanna ghost out? Bye motherfucker. This is volitional havoc, baby. We're not here to beg you. Ezra and Sky? Oh, they're two majestic-ass, demon-slayin', slaughterhouses. These motherfuckers have been roundhouse-kicking existential horror in the dick since they were seven and eight? Barely old enough to tie their fuckin' shoes. These two were goin' full Mortal Kombat on demons. Bare-knuckle survival in a nonstop horror gangbang of blood, guts, teeth, claws, and absolutely zero goddamn hugs. No bedtime stories, no parents, just rage boners and calamity. Cut to the now. The boys are knocking on thirty... and they're incorporeal. In a world they shouldn't have survived, they Detroit Smashed that shit into the goddamn pavement. Yeah, they shook it down in the most disrespectful way possible and they're not just surviving... they're thriving like absolute fucking kings. Sure, maybe their moral compass is more of a "suggestion" than a "guiding principle." Who gives a fuck? If you were expecting some righteous, noble bullshit, I don't know what to tell you. Wrong story, champ. Sky and Ezra? They're nightmares wrapped in sex appeal and soaked in blood. These two don't sneak up on you in the dark... they own the dark. They don't haunt dreams... they ruin them. *Cue the goddamn soundtrack* (Now let's rip that fourth wall down and go ride this motherfucker into the sunset!)

[tortoiseandtherose]

VAGABOND BLADES - BOOM-LORE TIME! (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1520502730-vagabond-blades-boom-lore-time?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=slayershigaraki Oh, look at you. Perched up with that pretentious, void-eyed expression, like you've transcended narrative structure or some shit. "Oh, a post-apocalyptic story? Yawn. Predictable. I'm so emotionally unavailable I can't even get hard for world-ending stakes anymore." Fuck you. You don't know a goddamn thing. And you sure as hell don't know Sky King and Ezra Black. If you did? You'd be swan-diving into this blood-soaked, bangarang mayhem. But hey... no pressure. Nobody's stapling your eyelids open. You wanna ghost out? Bye motherfucker. This is volitional havoc, baby. We're not here to beg you. Ezra and Sky? Oh, they're two majestic-ass, demon-slayin', slaughterhouses. These motherfuckers have been roundhouse-kicking existential horror in the dick since they were seven and eight? Barely old enough to tie their fuckin' shoes. These two were goin' full Mortal Kombat on demons. Bare-knuckle survival in a nonstop horror gangbang of blood, guts, teeth, claws, and absolutely zero goddamn hugs. No bedtime stories, no parents, just rage boners and calamity. Cut to the now. The boys are knocking on thirty... and they're incorporeal. In a world they shouldn't have survived, they Detroit Smashed that shit into the goddamn pavement. Yeah, they shook it down in the most disrespectful way possible and they're not just surviving... they're thriving like absolute fucking kings. Sure, maybe their moral compass is more of a "suggestion" than a "guiding principle." Who gives a fuck? If you were expecting some righteous, noble bullshit, I don't know what to tell you. Wrong story, champ. Sky and Ezra? They're nightmares wrapped in sex appeal and soaked in blood. These two don't sneak up on you in the dark... they own the dark. They don't haunt dreams... they ruin them. *Cue the goddamn soundtrack* (Now let's rip that fourth wall down and go ride this motherfucker into the sunset!)

[tortoiseandtherose]

VAGABOND BLADES - STOP FUELING MY SILENT RAGE (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1521801219-vagabond-blades-stop-fueling-my-silent-rage?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=slayershigaraki Oh, look at you. Perched up with that pretentious, void-eyed expression, like you've transcended narrative structure or some shit. "Oh, a post-apocalyptic story? Yawn. Predictable. I'm so emotionally unavailable I can't even get hard for world-ending stakes anymore." Fuck you. You don't know a goddamn thing. And you sure as hell don't know Sky King and Ezra Black. If you did? You'd be swan-diving into this blood-soaked, bangarang mayhem. But hey... no pressure. Nobody's stapling your eyelids open. You wanna ghost out? Bye motherfucker. This is volitional havoc, baby. We're not here to beg you. Ezra and Sky? Oh, they're two majestic-ass, demon-slayin', slaughterhouses. These motherfuckers have been roundhouse-kicking existential horror in the dick since they were seven and eight? Barely old enough to tie their fuckin' shoes. These two were goin' full Mortal Kombat on demons. Bare-knuckle survival in a nonstop horror gangbang of blood, guts, teeth, claws, and absolutely zero goddamn hugs. No bedtime stories, no parents, just rage boners and calamity. Cut to the now. The boys are knocking on thirty... and they're incorporeal. In a world they shouldn't have survived, they Detroit Smashed that shit into the goddamn pavement. Yeah, they shook it down in the most disrespectful way possible and they're not just surviving... they're thriving like absolute fucking kings. Sure, maybe their moral compass is more of a "suggestion" than a "guiding principle." Who gives a fuck? If you were expecting some righteous, noble bullshit, I don't know what to tell you. Wrong story, champ. Sky and Ezra? They're nightmares wrapped in sex appeal and soaked in blood. These two don't sneak up on you in the dark... they own the dark. They don't haunt dreams... they ruin them. *Cue the goddamn soundtrack* (Now let's rip that fourth wall down and go ride this motherfucker into the sunset!)

[tortoiseandtherose]

THE RULE OF THREE - THE BONES OF A DYING WORLD (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1472033527-the-rule-of-three-the-bones-of-a-dying-world?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=slayershigaraki You stumble into two situationships simultaneously. As in, two Hashira are all up in your business. There's not just attraction; there's this magnetic pull, this insane connection that you can't explain. And you're trying to push them away, "Look, I just want to murder demons, go away!" But these guys? They're not backing down. They've both made it abundantly clear: they aren't sharing. The level of possessiveness is... well, let's just say it's a whole other demon you didn't anticipate facing. So, there you are, a multi-breathing, demon-slaying machine who just wants to get the job done, saddled with a teenage apprentice who looks up to you, and somehow tangled in a love triangle with two top-tier demon slayers who are basically playing a tug-of-war with you as the rope. And let's not forget, all the while, you've got the shadow of Doma looming in your past like a bad acid trip. It's like, you finally made it to the big leagues... and it's a whole new kind of insane. A good kind of insane... maybe? Yeah, this is gonna be one wild ride.

[tortoiseandtherose]

VAGABOND BLADES - WAXIN' POETIC (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1522370282-vagabond-blades-waxin%27-poetic?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=slayershigaraki Oh, look at you. Perched up with that pretentious, void-eyed expression, like you've transcended narrative structure or some shit. "Oh, a post-apocalyptic story? Yawn. Predictable. I'm so emotionally unavailable I can't even get hard for world-ending stakes anymore." Fuck you. You don't know a goddamn thing. And you sure as hell don't know Sky King and Ezra Black. If you did? You'd be swan-diving into this blood-soaked, bangarang mayhem. But hey... no pressure. Nobody's stapling your eyelids open. You wanna ghost out? Bye motherfucker. This is volitional havoc, baby. We're not here to beg you. Ezra and Sky? Oh, they're two majestic-ass, demon-slayin', slaughterhouses. These motherfuckers have been roundhouse-kicking existential horror in the dick since they were seven and eight? Barely old enough to tie their fuckin' shoes. These two were goin' full Mortal Kombat on demons. Bare-knuckle survival in a nonstop horror gangbang of blood, guts, teeth, claws, and absolutely zero goddamn hugs. No bedtime stories, no parents, just rage boners and calamity. Cut to the now. The boys are knocking on thirty... and they're incorporeal. In a world they shouldn't have survived, they Detroit Smashed that shit into the goddamn pavement. Yeah, they shook it down in the most disrespectful way possible and they're not just surviving... they're thriving like absolute fucking kings. Sure, maybe their moral compass is more of a "suggestion" than a "guiding principle." Who gives a fuck? If you were expecting some righteous, noble bullshit, I don't know what to tell you. Wrong story, champ. Sky and Ezra? They're nightmares wrapped in sex appeal and soaked in blood. These two don't sneak up on you in the dark... they own the dark. They don't haunt dreams... they ruin them. *Cue the goddamn soundtrack* (Now let's rip that fourth wall down and go ride this motherfucker into the sunset!)

[tortoiseandtherose]

VAGABOND BLADES - MELANCHOLY SADNESS & THE INFINITE CRYBABY (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1522035516-vagabond-blades-melancholy-sadness-the-infinite?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=slayershigaraki Oh, look at you. Perched up with that pretentious, void-eyed expression, like you've transcended narrative structure or some shit. "Oh, a post-apocalyptic story? Yawn. Predictable. I'm so emotionally unavailable I can't even get hard for world-ending stakes anymore." Fuck you. You don't know a goddamn thing. And you sure as hell don't know Sky King and Ezra Black. If you did? You'd be swan-diving into this blood-soaked, bangarang mayhem. But hey... no pressure. Nobody's stapling your eyelids open. You wanna ghost out? Bye motherfucker. This is volitional havoc, baby. We're not here to beg you. Ezra and Sky? Oh, they're two majestic-ass, demon-slayin', slaughterhouses. These motherfuckers have been roundhouse-kicking existential horror in the dick since they were seven and eight? Barely old enough to tie their fuckin' shoes. These two were goin' full Mortal Kombat on demons. Bare-knuckle survival in a nonstop horror gangbang of blood, guts, teeth, claws, and absolutely zero goddamn hugs. No bedtime stories, no parents, just rage boners and calamity. Cut to the now. The boys are knocking on thirty... and they're incorporeal. In a world they shouldn't have survived, they Detroit Smashed that shit into the goddamn pavement. Yeah, they shook it down in the most disrespectful way possible and they're not just surviving... they're thriving like absolute fucking kings. Sure, maybe their moral compass is more of a "suggestion" than a "guiding principle." Who gives a fuck? If you were expecting some righteous, noble bullshit, I don't know what to tell you. Wrong story, champ. Sky and Ezra? They're nightmares wrapped in sex appeal and soaked in blood. These two don't sneak up on you in the dark... they own the dark. They don't haunt dreams... they ruin them. *Cue the goddamn soundtrack* (Now let's rip that fourth wall down and go ride this motherfucker into the sunset!)

[tortoiseandtherose]

VAGABOND BLADES - STOP FUELING MY SILENT RAGE (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1521801219-vagabond-blades-stop-fueling-my-silent-rage?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=slayershigaraki Oh, look at you. Perched up with that pretentious, void-eyed expression, like you've transcended narrative structure or some shit. "Oh, a post-apocalyptic story? Yawn. Predictable. I'm so emotionally unavailable I can't even get hard for world-ending stakes anymore." Fuck you. You don't know a goddamn thing. And you sure as hell don't know Sky King and Ezra Black. If you did? You'd be swan-diving into this blood-soaked, bangarang mayhem. But hey... no pressure. Nobody's stapling your eyelids open. You wanna ghost out? Bye motherfucker. This is volitional havoc, baby. We're not here to beg you. Ezra and Sky? Oh, they're two majestic-ass, demon-slayin', slaughterhouses. These motherfuckers have been roundhouse-kicking existential horror in the dick since they were seven and eight? Barely old enough to tie their fuckin' shoes. These two were goin' full Mortal Kombat on demons. Bare-knuckle survival in a nonstop horror gangbang of blood, guts, teeth, claws, and absolutely zero goddamn hugs. No bedtime stories, no parents, just rage boners and calamity. Cut to the now. The boys are knocking on thirty... and they're incorporeal. In a world they shouldn't have survived, they Detroit Smashed that shit into the goddamn pavement. Yeah, they shook it down in the most disrespectful way possible and they're not just surviving... they're thriving like absolute fucking kings. Sure, maybe their moral compass is more of a "suggestion" than a "guiding principle." Who gives a fuck? If you were expecting some righteous, noble bullshit, I don't know what to tell you. Wrong story, champ. Sky and Ezra? They're nightmares wrapped in sex appeal and soaked in blood. These two don't sneak up on you in the dark... they own the dark. They don't haunt dreams... they ruin them. *Cue the goddamn soundtrack* (Now let's rip that fourth wall down and go ride this motherfucker into the sunset!)

[tortoiseandtherose]

VAGABOND BLADES - SLIDE INTO AVOIDABLE DEMISE (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1520662029-vagabond-blades-slide-into-avoidable-demise?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=slayershigaraki Oh, look at you. Perched up with that pretentious, void-eyed expression, like you've transcended narrative structure or some shit. "Oh, a post-apocalyptic story? Yawn. Predictable. I'm so emotionally unavailable I can't even get hard for world-ending stakes anymore." Fuck you. You don't know a goddamn thing. And you sure as hell don't know Sky King and Ezra Black. If you did? You'd be swan-diving into this blood-soaked, bangarang mayhem. But hey... no pressure. Nobody's stapling your eyelids open. You wanna ghost out? Bye motherfucker. This is volitional havoc, baby. We're not here to beg you. Ezra and Sky? Oh, they're two majestic-ass, demon-slayin', slaughterhouses. These motherfuckers have been roundhouse-kicking existential horror in the dick since they were seven and eight? Barely old enough to tie their fuckin' shoes. These two were goin' full Mortal Kombat on demons. Bare-knuckle survival in a nonstop horror gangbang of blood, guts, teeth, claws, and absolutely zero goddamn hugs. No bedtime stories, no parents, just rage boners and calamity. Cut to the now. The boys are knocking on thirty... and they're incorporeal. In a world they shouldn't have survived, they Detroit Smashed that shit into the goddamn pavement. Yeah, they shook it down in the most disrespectful way possible and they're not just surviving... they're thriving like absolute fucking kings. Sure, maybe their moral compass is more of a "suggestion" than a "guiding principle." Who gives a fuck? If you were expecting some righteous, noble bullshit, I don't know what to tell you. Wrong story, champ. Sky and Ezra? They're nightmares wrapped in sex appeal and soaked in blood. These two don't sneak up on you in the dark... they own the dark. They don't haunt dreams... they ruin them. *Cue the goddamn soundtrack* (Now let's rip that fourth wall down and go ride this motherfucker into the sunset!)