Hey, I'm 25 and beginning to realize I'm totally undateable. Here's some things I do to prove my theory.
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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Do not date me, I will vom in yer bathroom
This week I slept with this guy for the first time, then proceeded to get a stomach bug and vomit on his bathroom floor, then his toilet. He held my hair and was very kind.
#undateable#totallyundateable#vomit#sex#first time sex#third date champ#third date#nice guy#im a bad date#dating#datenight#date
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I don't understand these reactions. People act like your life is sad and meaningless without a significant other. As if the other relationships in my life aren't wonderful and fulfilling. My time is full of people I love, and my heart is full.
I have had three people ask me in the last two days if I meant boyfriend when I said I did something with a friend, and they all sounded really hopeful and then equally disappointed when I reiterated “friend.”
A) We hardly know each other so why do you care; B) not everyone wants to be in a relationship; C) I am not a spinster.
And I know when I do get into a relationship the questions will be “when are you getting married?” and “do you want kids?” and it’s just… annoying.
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Netflix and puzzles.
Today on "Am I Depressed or Just Lazy?"
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my transformation into a bitter angry old woman is almost complete
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vine
the things i find on the internet
unmute it
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replacing my heart with another liver so i can drink more and care less
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On Aug. 9th, 2014 a Ferguson, Missouri police officer racially profiled and fatally shot 18-year-old Michael Brown as the teen stood with his hands in the air. His family and community members are calling it an execution. Racially-motivated police violence has no place in law enforcement and represents the systemic police abuse against Black communities in Ferguson and Missouri at large. Enough is enough. We need widespread public pressure to ensure justice for Michael’s family and to prevent this type of indefensible violence in the future. Please join me in calling on federal and city officials to investigate, prosecute, and fire all officers involved by clicking here.
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At dinner the other day my dad asked me if I thought that I was stuck in my ways since it's been so long since I've been in a relationship... Thanks dad.
#totallyundateable#undateable#relationship#single#not dating#dating#singlehood#my dad#dad#gee thanks#thanks#dinner#stuck in my ways#thanks dad#rude
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even when im not laying facedown on the floor literally, i am always laying facedown on the floor figuratively. in my heart or whatever.
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Precious
i literally cant get over this
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whats the worst thing youve ever done?
I hurt someone who loved me unconditionally
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This literally happened to me last night trying to take a picture of a cute boy
Trying to take a sneaky picture and the flash goes off
#totallyundateable#undateable#dating#boys#hot boys#cute#literally#just happened#last night#embarrassing#pictures#flash
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Well that took an unexpected turn..
#totallyundateable#undateable#okcupid#message#dating#online dating#single#not funny#was that a joke#joke#unexpected#unexpected turn of events
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Me that one time I had that dude over
(brushes crumbs off bed) yea baby hop on in
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Sound advice from a good man.
#totallyundateable#undateable#bestfriend#best friends#pizza#i love pizza#ate too much#text#wise words#advice#indignity#pizza day
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