translucent-sun

[translucent-sun]

That first night on Tatooine, he couldn’t sleep. After waking up for the fifth time that night, sweat soaked from just as many nightmares – about Anakin, Cody, Padmé – he decided to give up for the night. He stripped his wet shirt off his shoulders and felt around in the darkness for his cloak, pulling it around him tightly, shivering. 

He hadn’t realized just how cold it got in the desert during the night. But he felt it was exactly what he needed at that moment. He rose, the cold ground stinging under his feet. It felt grounding. He walked blindly through the pitch-black cavern, the moons lighting up the sky outside the cave’s entry guiding him as he stepped outside into the cold. 

The clear view of the night sky left him awestruck. Of course he’d been here during the night before, all those years ago. But back then, none of them really had the time to focus on the pretty parts. Their minds were focused on things that were more important then. 

He sat, thinking about the little boy they’d found back then, and about what would happen to him much later on. It was hard to think they were the same person at all. The first filling him with fondness, if reluctantly; the latter with despair and pain. With shame that he let it happen. His mind started wandering, flooding with memories of all the ways he failed as his mentor. 

With a deep, shuddering breath, he let himself fall back until he was lying flat on the cold sand beneath him, his fingers digging in. It stung, shooting through his body, clearing his mind. After a while it was shouting for him to rise, but instead he closed his eyes, embracing the painful cold, letting it soak through him. He sighed as he felt the sensation replace everything else. He knew it wouldn’t last, but he’d take what he could get. 

Though at the same time, he felt he deserved to remember, to feel the pain of it. Forgetting, ignoring, felt like betrayal, like another failure. His thoughts wandered to his confrontation with Cody. His failure to save him. To get through to him. Deep down he knew it had been hopeless, that it was bound to fail. After all, Cody hadn't been himself; he was forced to do what he did, as Obi-Wan had learned. But he couldn’t help thinking that he just should have tried harder. Or gotten himself killed. 

All those thoughts were pushed aside once again by the cold streaming through him.

He only opened his eyes again when the first rays of sunshine hit his face, warming his freezing body. He felt like he woke from hibernation. He hadn’t even noticed that he was shaking, his teeth chattering. He couldn’t feel his toes, his fingers, numb from the cold. But everything was better than to think. 

After staring straight up at the sky for a little longer, he reluctantly rose. Without sparing the rising suns so much as a glance, he went back inside. 

He switched on the burner in passing, grabbing the blanket off his makeshift bed while he waited for it to heat up, pulling it tight around himself. He made himself two cups worth of caf, clutching the warm stoneware in his hands, willing his shaking fingers to hold on tightly. He sat on his mat with his legs crossed, leaning over his cup, inhaling. 

It was hard to grasp that this would be his life from now on. In exile, condemned to solitude. Haunted by the past, unable to make amends with any of the people he loved. They were all gone. There was nothing he could do except to live with that fact. He had to be there for the boy. Right now, there was nothing that could be more important than that. 

But the adjustment was difficult not just mentally, he realized as he let his hand glide over his mechanical leg, feeling the dust under his fingers. What he hadn’t considered when he thought about the desert planet was the sand, of all things. He’d come to think of the bionic leg as his own over the years, feeling and controlling it like it was his own, interpreting the sensory signals it sent to his body as naturally as if it was made from flesh. 

Though now, with sand grinding between its servos, blocking his movements and making his leg feel stuck, he was made painfully aware of it. Well, not so much painfully as insanely uncomfortably. The tiny grains triggered the leg’s sensors, translating into an almost unbearable itchiness. He’d have to find a way to get enough oil for a nice, long soak. And a way to prevent it from happening again for a while, preferably, making a mental note to get both the oil and some coarseweave to wrap the leg in as soon as possible. And suddenly the memory of Anakin’s disdain for sand almost made him chuckle.

[translucent-sun]

That first night on Tatooine, he couldn’t sleep. After waking up for the fifth time that night, sweat soaked from just as many nightmares – about Anakin, Cody, Padmé – he decided to give up for the night. He stripped his wet shirt off his shoulders and felt around in the darkness for his cloak, pulling it around him tightly, shivering. 

He hadn’t realized just how cold it got in the desert during the night. But he felt it was exactly what he needed at that moment. He rose, the cold ground stinging under his feet. It felt grounding. He walked blindly through the pitch-black cavern, the moons lighting up the sky outside the cave’s entry guiding him as he stepped outside into the cold. 

The clear view of the night sky left him awestruck. Of course he’d been here during the night before, all those years ago. But back then, none of them really had the time to focus on the pretty parts. Their minds were focused on things that were more important then. 

He sat, thinking about the little boy they’d found back then, and about what would happen to him much later on. It was hard to think they were the same person at all. The first filling him with fondness, if reluctantly; the latter with despair and pain. With shame that he let it happen. His mind started wandering, flooding with memories of all the ways he failed as his mentor. 

With a deep, shuddering breath, he let himself fall back until he was lying flat on the cold sand beneath him, his fingers digging in. It stung, shooting through his body, clearing his mind. After a while it was shouting for him to rise, but instead he closed his eyes, embracing the painful cold, letting it soak through him. He sighed as he felt the sensation replace everything else. He knew it wouldn’t last, but he’d take what he could get. 

Though at the same time, he felt he deserved to remember, to feel the pain of it. Forgetting, ignoring, felt like betrayal, like another failure. His thoughts wandered to his confrontation with Cody. His failure to save him. To get through to him. Deep down he knew it had been hopeless, that it was bound to fail. After all, Cody hadn't been himself; he was forced to do what he did, as Obi-Wan had learned. But he couldn’t help thinking that he just should have tried harder. Or gotten himself killed. 

All those thoughts were pushed aside once again by the cold streaming through him.

He only opened his eyes again when the first rays of sunshine hit his face, warming his freezing body. He felt like he woke from hibernation. He hadn’t even noticed that he was shaking, his teeth chattering. He couldn’t feel his toes, his fingers, numb from the cold. But everything was better than to think. 

After staring straight up at the sky for a little longer, he reluctantly rose. Without sparing the rising suns so much as a glance, he went back inside. 

He switched on the burner in passing, grabbing the blanket off his makeshift bed while he waited for it to heat up, pulling it tight around himself. He made himself two cups worth of caf, clutching the warm stoneware in his hands, willing his shaking fingers to hold on tightly. He sat on his mat with his legs crossed, leaning over his cup, inhaling. 

It was hard to grasp that this would be his life from now on. In exile, condemned to solitude. Haunted by the past, unable to make amends with any of the people he loved. They were all gone. There was nothing he could do except to live with that fact. He had to be there for the boy. Right now, there was nothing that could be more important than that. 

But the adjustment was difficult not just mentally, he realized as he let his hand glide over his mechanical leg, feeling the dust under his fingers. What he hadn’t considered when he thought about the desert planet was the sand, of all things. He’d come to think of the bionic leg as his own over the years, feeling and controlling it like it was his own, interpreting the sensory signals it sent to his body as naturally as if it was made from flesh. 

Though now, with sand grinding between its servos, blocking his movements and making his leg feel stuck, he was made painfully aware of it. Well, not so much painfully as insanely uncomfortably. The tiny grains triggered the leg’s sensors, translating into an almost unbearable itchiness. He’d have to find a way to get enough oil for a nice, long soak. And a way to prevent it from happening again for a while, preferably, making a mental note to get both the oil and some coarseweave to wrap the leg in as soon as possible. And suddenly the memory of Anakin’s disdain for sand almost made him chuckle.

[translucent-sun]

I have a question for you!

So even thought I haven't been posting snippets, I did write! I'm actually almost done (?? can't believe that myself) with Part 2, which is everything Post Order 66.

So now there's a question! What would you prefer. Should I post Part 2 on ao3 once I'm done, then treat Part 1 as kind of a prequel and post that afterwards? (I originally only this part planned so the other one would've been a prequel anyway)

OR wait with posting until I'm completely done and post them in order? That could take a while until that's finished.

[translucent-sun]

Over the next five years, they’d build themselves a comfortable life. Not an easy one, but comfortable enough. Taking on jobs had come to be only necessary when the desert’s dryness became particularly dry, when the heat became so unbearable that only the richest, biggest moisture farms with the most modern equipment were ableto harvest the precious liquid. When their reservoir was empty, their vaporator unable to keep up, and they were forced to buy their water. Only then did their life become a little more stressful. But even that was temporary. 

Obi-Wan’s only worry these days was Cody’s health. Or the decline of it. The training and connection to the Force they’d kept up with at least twice a week, be it playful swordfight or simple meditation, certainly had kept both of them fit, but Obi-Wan couldn’t help but notice that Cody needed breaks much more often, even skipping some days entirely, saying he was too tired, or simply not in the mood. 

Cody denied that anything was wrong, of course, and Obi-Wan couldn’t do much but accept his stubbornness. But accepting it didn’t stop him from worrying. 

Often, the fact that he might one day have to take care of Cody occupied his every thought. It wasn’t the taking care part that worried him – he would gladly do so, of course. It was the fact that he was getting old himself that worried him. That he won’t be able to care for him one day. It was a haunting thought. But nonetheless, it was interrupted. 

“What are you doing?” Cody’s voice came from a strange direction. Only when Obi-Wan opened his eyes, turning to follow the familiar sound did he remember where he was. 

Calling back down from the edge of the roof, his back resting against its dome, he replied, “I thought I heard a Bantha and wanted to track it. Then I must have fallen asleep.” 

The first part was entirely true. Where Banthas roam, sand people won’t be far, so making sure they’re not heading in your direction is not a bad idea. Cody shook his head in apparent amusement. 

“You’ll get burnt. Come down, dinner is almost ready.”

“Come up. When it’s only almost ready it won’t hurt to spend five more minutes out here.”

Cody sighed, punctuated by an exaggerated roll of his eyes. “Fine.” 

Slowly walking up the makeshift stairs they’d put up a few years ago, every step took visible effort, and Obi-Wan caught himself worrying again. 

With a groan, Cody settled next to him, shoulder pressed to shoulder. They sat for a minute that felt like an eternity, seconds stretched into a lifetime. Obi-Wan wished it could go on like this forever. Though when Cody finally spoke, time retracted back like a spring.

“If we don’t get back in our dinner will burn.” His shoulder bumped into Obi-Wan’s gently. Obi-Wan’s head tipped back, his eyes falling shut. 

“Just a second,” he whispered, almost a plea. 

His eyes opened, turning to watch Cody when he felt a hand in his hair. He’d started to wear it shorter again, and it had turned almost entirely gray by now, even growing white in some places. And he knew Cody loved it. As did he love Cody’s own. In general, Cody was just growing more gorgeous with age. His hair was graying too, the white streak in his once black hair almost invisible now, blending in with the gray that was slowly growing in. Only the back of his head had kept its color, bound at the back of his head in a loose knot. A few loose strands fell over Cody’s forehead, making him look a little unkept.

It was beautiful. And a constant reminder of the passing of time. He forced himself to look away, blinking, struggling against the light. He pushed the thought as far away as he could

“Alright,” he said, already rising. “Let’s go.”

[translucent-sun]

Commander Cody in The Clone Wars 4.11

[translucent-sun]

A PLEA FOR HELP: RAISING FUNDS FOR MY SICK GRANDMA 🙏.

My family is still staying in half of the church that wasn’t affected by the bombing because there is nowhere else to stay other than tents. They are limited to one small meal a day and one shower a week. They are sleeping on the floors, but no one can sleep since there is bombing everywhere around them. Even when there is no bombing, they can still hear the loud buzzing sound of the military planes above them, which would keep anyone who hears it awake. Along with everything, My grandma has diabetes and osteoporosis, so she can’t walk. She has to take her insulin medication along with many others; however, she has run out of many of her medications.” Am on my knees requesting for donation. Target $450

PLEASE SUPPORT ME IN WHATEVER WAY, SHARE, REBLOG AND DONATE.

Donation link 👇👇👇

CLICK HERE TO DONATE: PAYPAL.COM

RECEIVED:$253/$450

[translucent-sun]

Another week later, Cody had made considerable progress in his defenses. His training had been paired with meditation, teaching him how meditation during battle can be difficult but helpful, and with each day, Cody became better, faster at it. With each day it became easier to summon the Force within him, to dive into it and let himself be guided.

He wasn’t sure what Obi-Wan had planned next. They were on their way farther out into the desert, wandering for quite some time now. When Cody had asked Obi-Wan why they didn’t take the Eopies, he’d only answered that we was worried they might get startled. Why, he hadn’t told him. 

Interesting. 

The entire hike he kept wondering what it could possibly be that Obi-Wan had in mind, but with no success. He shook his head, trying to suppress a smile as he thought about all the times Obi-Wan had done this before, refusing to explain things as though they were some big surprise that would be spoiled if he did. Cody could guess the answer when they finally reached a rocky field – debris of varying sizes that must have broken off the nearby canyons, carried here despite their heavy weight by the wandering dunes. 

“There are smaller ones over there, we’ll start with those,” Obi-Wan said without turning, without facing Cody, seemingly knowing that Cody had figured it out. Cody could almost feel his grin without seeing it. 

“It makes no difference, really, neither have any real weight within the Force, but usually it’s easier to start with objects that are perceived to be lighter.”

“Maybe I should start with sand, then,” Cody joked. Or it was supposed to be a joke, though he worried it might have been more deadpan than intended. 

Now Obi-Wan turned. “Sand works as an entity. It’s a lot more difficult to focus on a grain of sand, or even of a collection of them, than it is to focus on a rock.”

“Alright," he said, clasping his hands. "I don’t think I’m ready for this yet.”

Obi-Wan cocked his head and considered Cody for a moment. “Yes, you are.” There was really no room to argue in the tone he said it, soft but stern. Obi-Wan wouldn’t do this if he wasn’t sure, and besides, so far Cody had mastered all the tasks he’d been given. But this – this felt different. This felt big. 

Meditating could easily be dismissed as auditory hallucinations if you didn’t want to believe in it; not more than what he heard in his nightmares. The way he feels his targets in their defense training could just be his natural instincts. Most of his brothers had those, they’re soldiers after all. But making rocks fly? It felt like he was stepping into strange territory, the thought of it alone, of the possibility that he would be able to do this, felt so unreal that he had to force his mind to picture it. 

He realized that it must have been a while when he noticed a funny look on Obi-Wan’s face – something between worry and wonder, wanting to say something but not interrupt his thoughts. Only when he seemed to notice that Cody was back did he continue. “You doubt your abilities, but I can feel how strong the Force is in you. You’re suppressing it, which in turn makes it feel weaker to you than it is.”

Cody sighed. “It’s just all so new to me.” 

Already moving again, walking further into the field of rocks, Obi-Wan called back, “that’s why we’re taking it slow.”

“You call this slow?” Cody laughed, hurrying after Obi-Wan. “A month ago I didn’t know I had this ability, and today we’re going to lift rocks with our mind,” he teased, wiggling his fingers in the air as he spoke. Obi-Wan chuckled softly.

“You’re making it sound like magic.”

Cody considered him for a moment. “Well, isn’t it?” He didn’t get a reply–not in words. 

Instead, the ground around them began to shake. It only lasted seconds, then the first rock lifted out of the sand, a second and third followed quickly after. Loose sand was trickling off them, the rules of gravity only broken for the rock itself. Cody had seen him and other Jedi do this trick countless times, with objects much larger, but he couldn’t help but watch in awe, his mind trying to make sense of it once again. Obi-Wan still stood with his back towards Cody, with no visible strain in his body, his shoulders relaxed.

“It is no magic,” Obi-Wan finally said. “But the power of your mind.” The rocks fell back to the ground with a hollow thump. “Your turn, I will guide you,” he added with a grin as he turned around.

“This one,” Cody said after a while. Obi-Wan had made him pick a rock and joined him on the ground, crossing his legs beneath himself.

“Alright. We will start with plain old meditation, the same way we’ve been practicing.” 

Cody had gotten quite good at navigating within the realms of the Force, at seeing through the flood of emotions and seek what he needed. And yet, this felt new. 

“Call upon the Force. Let it flow through you.” Cody felt Obi-Wan’s gaze on him. He focused on his task, and slowly but surely, he could feel it. He could manage it. “Ready?” Obi-Wan asked. Cody nodded. “Open your eyes and focus on the rock you chose. Lift your hand towards it.” Cody did as he was told.

“Exert your will on it. Feel as though you were physically touching it, taking it into your hand and lifting it off the ground.”

The rock started to vibrate, ever so slightly, barely noticeable if one wasn’t paying close attention. Cody pressed his eyes shut in concentration, almost feeling the rock’s rough surface in the palm of his hand, feeling its shape, its heat. He opened them with a gasp before sinking into himself, a bone-deep exhaustion suddenly taking over, physically as well as mentally. He shook his head, unable to voice what he wanted to say.

“You did great,” Obi-Wan encouraged him. “You made it move on your first try, that’s impressive, to be quite honest.” Cody glanced up at him, even the small movement taking too much effort. “It’s common to feel exhausted. Younglings have lost consciousness after levitating their first object,” he said with a chuckle.

“I’m not a youngling and I didn’t levitate anything, I barely made it shake,” Cody argued, but he knew he wouldn’t win.

“No to both, but you’re barely a month into exploring the Force, so don’t be so hard on yourself. We will try again tomorrow.” Why did he always have to be so damn convincing?

“Fine,” Cody exhaled. “But we will either take the rock home or find something closer. I’m not walking out here just to not make it fly.”

Obi-Wan chuckled, rising to his feet and extending a hand to help Cody up. 

“Fine,” he said in mock-defeat. Cody did not expect him to pick up the rock and stow it away in his bag. He must have noticed his confusion, because he explained, “you’ve gotten familiar with it now, with the way the rock feels when you reach out to it with the Force. It would be a shame to put that to waste.”

With a sigh, Cody took the bag from Obi-Wan and swung it over his own shoulder.

[translucent-sun]

Stargazing had become their favorite activity during their turn of the watch; there wasn’t really anything to watch out for, anyway, and if someone did approach, Obi-Wan would feel it. And so they lay in silence for a while, soaking in the pure serenity of the moment. 

“I wish we could do this more often,” Cody sighed, breaking the silence. Obi-Wan slightly turned his head, quietly huffing. 

“It must have been ages since anyone could see the night sky above Coruscant.” He noted, folding his arms behind his head, turning back to look at the stars above. “But I wish so, too,” he sighed. 

“We could just stay here. Away from everything,” Cody reminisced. “Hunt and gather what we need, build our own home from the trees we cut with our own hands." He sighed. "I miss our bed, though.” 

Obi-Wan looked at him again, a grin spreading over his face and Cody reassessed his choice of words. 

“Our bed?” Obi-Wan asked.

Cody hummed. The word had slipped out before he could stop it, but he decided to stick with it. 

“What, you’re hogging our bed now?” 

“I would never do that, I’m happy to share,” Obi-Wan teased back. He rolled over to his left side, pressing up on one elbow to hover above Cody’s face, raising the other to touch it. He cupped Cody’s cheek in his palm, his thumb stroking his bottom lip ever so lightly before leaning down for a short, feather-light kiss. In return, Cody reached up to take Obi-Wan’s hand into his own, turning his head to press a gentle kiss to the inside of Obi-Wan’s wrist, whispering against his skin. 

“I love you.” 

“And I love you,” Obi-Wan whispered back, pressing another kiss to Cody’s lips, stroking his jaw with his thumb. 

With a sudden, sharp inhale Obi-Wan startled chuckling and pulled back, all the while keeping his hand on his jaw. It had grown a light stubble over the past couple days, Cody realized. 

“I’ve never seen you grow a beard before,” Obi-Wan said in wonder. “You’re so prickly.” He leaned down to kiss his cheek, and Cody felt, heard it rasping against Obi-Wan's lips. “Is this what it’s like to kiss me?” he asked, pulling a face.

Cody couldn’t stop himself from laughing. “It’s not like I have a choice!”

“To kiss me or to grow your beard?” he asked, feigning to be hurt. Cody went along with it, teasing.

“Both, actually.”

Obi-Wan rolled back onto his back, chuckling, and Cody joined him before they went back to watching the stars in comfortable silence.

[translucent-sun]

Cody laid awake, lost in thoughts. He’d been trying to resist the temptation to ask Obi-Wan this one simple question for months now. There was no point in asking if questions about the past, Cody knew that. Nothing he’d do, no answer he could possibly get, would be able to change a thing that happened, how things went. And yet, he needed to ask. 

“Do you think,” he started, speaking quietly into the darkness. “If just one little thing had been different back then. Do you think everything would be different today?” He stared up at the ceiling. He didn’t even know if Obi-Wan was awake. If he heard him. But the question that’s been burning inside his mind for so long was finally out now. It was free. 

To his relief, or dismay – Cody wasn’t sure – Obi-Wan gave a questioning hum in return. “Of course. Every small decision or act shapes the course of the future.” Cody huffed. He didn’t know what kind of answer he expected, but it should have been this one.

“What I mean, is,” Cody elaborated. “If – You know there were some of us, some of my brothers who managed to remove their inhibitor chips long before we even knew what they were capable of. If I’d been one of them… We could’ve been together this whole time. We could’ve had a life. I caused you so much pain. None of that would’ve happened if that one thing had been different.”

“Or you and I could be dead,” Obi-Wan countered matter-of-factly before he continued more softly. “I know those thoughts are hard. I have so, so many regrets, so many things that make me wonder what could’ve been if I’d done something differently. About you, about Padmé, about – about Anakin.” His voice broke off almost unnoticeably, but Cody still caught it. “But all you’re doing is torturing yourself by asking yourself those things. We can’t change what happened, but we can make sure none of it was for nothing.” Cody felt Obi-Wan’s warm fingers against the skin of his arm, wandering down in search of his hand. “We’re here now,” he whispered, interlacing their fingers and squeezing gently. Cody sighed.

“I know you’re right, but it’s so easy to get lost in the past.” Obi-Wan stroked the knuckle of Cody’s thumb with his own, continuing the movement on his wrist, then his palm, separating their hands just slightly. It tickled, and for a split-second Cody considered pulling away before Obi-Wan suddenly stopped. Cody could almost hear the smile in his voice when he spoke.

“You know what I wish we could do again?” he asked. Only when Cody hummed in question did he continue, rising onto his elbow, hovering above him. “I wish we could go back to Coruscant, just once, and spend another night in the lower levels. Remember the stuffed Rodian peppers and Tsiraki we had at this little stall?” Cody huffed.

“The one that shushed us away and closed down when he saw a police droid nearby? How could I forget,” he chuckled at the memory.

“That one,” Obi-Wan said, chuckling now too. He leaned back just slightly. “I miss the food. And I miss the feeling of– this doesn’t make sense. I should be, and I am glad that we don’t have to keep us a secret anymore. Well, you know what I mean. But I miss the thrill of being close to you in public, on Coruscant. Being seen and knowing that no one down there knew or cared who we were. That’s something I wish we could do again. Here we’re just that strange old couple.” 

Cody smiled for a moment before locking his eyes on the ceiling, the smile disappearing.

“I don’t know…” He huffed. “Everyone always thought you’re so strictly by the rules. That we both were. I wish we could have told more people. It was exciting, even the sneaking around was fun, but I never liked having to pretend. So I am glad that we can now just live our life and be seen as whatever they choose to see, as long as they can see us. The risk is a different one now.” 

Obi-Wan smiled just slightly and Cody followed the movement of his lips closely. 

“If only it was us they were seeing. They’ll never see Obi-Wan holding Cody’s hand. They’ll only ever see Tem and Ben.” He huffed, drifting off for a second. “Sometimes I forget that this isn’t my name, I’ve been using it for so long.” He shook his head. “Either way, it’s made-up characters they see. In a way, we’re hiding more than we ever have before.”

Cody hummed. Obi-Wan was right. He hadn’t seen it that way before, but it was true. Though it didn’t really matter.

“My name was made-up to begin with,” Cody shrugged. “I love you. I don’t care whether I call myself Cody or Tem or anything else while loving you. It doesn’t matter what names we use, because it’s us loving each other.” 

Obi-Wan smiled before letting himself fall back onto the mattress. 

“You are such a smart-ass. Can we go back to sleep now?” Cody chuckled.

“Fine.” 

The bedding rustled beside him and a kiss was pressed to his lips, and without another word they went back to sleep.

[translucent-sun]

“I will head in for an early night,” Obi-Wan said. It was barely past seven, but the landing was planned for 4 a.m. sharp, and the attack as soon after that as was possible. “We should get all the sleep we can get before tomorrow.” It was a lie, really. He wasn’t tired, and even if he was, he felt that sleep would be impossible. 

Meditation, though, was what he needed. Even with their plan, he knew tomorrow wouldn’t be easy. 

A choir of “Goodnight, General,” broke out among the handful of men he had been sitting and talking with for the past couple hours. It had been intended to be one last talk-through of tomorrows mission, gathering everyone who would handle the most important details. Though after that, it quickly turned into a happy get together, the prospect of tomorrow being the last thing on everyone’s mind. Or everyone pretended that it wasn’t. Obi-Wan wasn’t sure. “Goodnight,” Cody said with a nod, which Obi-Wan returned before making to leave.

“Goodnight, boys,” he said with a wave of his hand.

Finally in his quarters, the quiet was almost overwhelming. The past hours had been a much-needed distraction, a welcome one, but now it made everything feel even more. More difficult, more serious, like there was so much more at stake. He settled down on the round pillow he’d placed in the middle of the room, preparing for his meditation. He needed to ground himself, sort his thoughts, remember his place within the Force.

He would never admit it, but in moments like this, the feeling of anxiety was almost all-consuming. If he didn’t remind himself that the Force would guide him, the fear would eat him alive. Many of the clones who would fight tomorrow’s battle hadn’t had much chance to prove themselves yet—they were spared from having to do so. But that only put the stakes higher. 

He tried to shake the thoughts off, but they kept drifting. To the clones. To Cody. Obi-Wan inhaled deeply. When was the last time he’d found meditation so difficult? He smiled when he remembered his teen years, feeling the same anxiety. Shaking his head, he forced himself to focus. But instead of focusing on not thinking, all he could think about were Cody and the others. With a groan, he gave up. He might as well lie down and close his eyes. Maybe he could trick his body into thinking he’s tired.

The morning was an early one, filled with preparations before the landing, moving everything and everyone where they were supposed to be. 

And then it all happened so quickly. Everything went according to plan, until it didn’t. What was supposed to be the battle to end all battles, the one that Obi-Wan had declared only moments earlier to be the battle to end all bloodshed, quickly became a battle of bloodshed so major, it exceeded everything he’d heard about Hypori. 

How could everything go so wrong? How could they have missed such a major detail? There really was no time to worry about any of this now. The only thing that should be on his mind now is survival. Survival of his men, survival of Cody. His own, so he could protect them. Protect him. 

Cody had already saved his life earlier, even before everything went south, and he would not let his bravery go to waste. They’d already lost too many men, too many lives, and Obi-Wan felt as each of them was ripped away, like a candle being suffocated within the Force, its light extinguished. There have been hundreds of those candles now. He’d stopped counting about ten minutes ago, afraid that the pain would overwhelm him. He would not let the same happen to Cody. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing him. The meaning of that became increasingly clear to him. 

There was no time to dwell on those feelings, though, as he received the comm to clear the bridge. They were preparing to blow it up. 

“I still have wounded on that bridge!” he called back, pleading. The only reply he received was another warning. “Where is Commander Cody?” He was sure that the desperation in his voice was audible, but he didn’t care. A crackling through the comm, then finally an answer in the voice he’d always recognize, even though it was shared by thousands.

“On our way off. Now move, General!” 

Obi-Wan had never felt so much relief in his life. 

It felt like the battle and everything following lasted for hours. Ages. A never-ending nightmare.

Though now, as he was sitting and watching the sun rise above the ocean, he remembered that he’d seen the sun start to rise before everything even started to go wrong. That only made it worse, though. All those lives lost in the matter of what, twenty minutes? Less? The Jedi existed to protect. What was his purpose if he couldn’t protect? What was the point of any of this? The sun kept rising, and Obi-Wan almost couldn’t believe that it still could. So much could happen, and the sun would still rise, announce day after day, without ever stopping, no matter what it’s witnessed the day before. So terribly gorgeous. 

He heard footstep approaching behind him, but he didn’t have the energy to turn.

“The evacuation ships are here,” he heard Cody say, faintly, as though he was far away. For a long moment he didn’t answer. And Cody waited patiently. 

“Will you sit with me?” Obi-Wan asked quietly. “Just for a moment?” Without a word, Cody came closer, lowering himself into the grass beside him. They sat in silence for quite some time before Obi-Wan finally found his voice again. 

“We lost so many men today, so many–” his voice broke off. He took a deep breath before he continued. “I was so scared to lose you, too.” He spoke so quietly, he wasn’t sure if Cody even heard him over the noise of the engines and the shouting, his own ears still ringing. Cody didn’t answer, didn’t look at him for a long moment. 

“I tried to keep a lookout on you, and every time I lost sight of you, I was terrified,” Cody finally admitted, facing him. “But I’m here, and you are here, too.” Cody put his hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder, firmly squeezing his shoulder between the gap the armor left. He could almost hear Cody comment on it, telling him how– 

“Not really effective, is it?” he asked, squeezing the spot again. 

Obi-Wan couldn’t help but chuckle, the dark cloud in his mind not quite lifting, but a few stray rays of sun piercing through. He really knew Cody so well by now. 

Cody cocked his head in confusion, frowning. “What?” 

“I knew you would say something like that the moment you touched my shoulder.” Obi-Wan sighed, his gaze lingering on the sky for a moment longer before turning to Cody. “Besides, I could say the same about yours.” Obi-Wan poked the exposed fabric on Cody’s upper arm. “Dead.” Then he gestured towards his neck. “Dead.” Finally, he tapped the upper edge of Cody’s leg armor, pointing towards his exposed thigh when Cody looked down. “Dead. Major arteries, easily accessible.” Cody rolled his eyes.

“So you might as well leave everything exposed, makes sense,” he teased, and Obi-Wan smiled. 

Five minutes with Cody, and the weight on his shoulders already felt less crushing. Present, but bearable. 

Maybe the sun was right, to start each day fresh, to give it another chance. 

“Are you okay?” Cody asked quietly. Obi-Wan closed his eyes, his smile not wavering as he lowered his head.

“Thank you,” he replied, ignoring his question. When he finally looked up at him, his eyes locked on Cody’s chest. He brought his hand up to it, planting it firmly across it. Cody looked confused. 

“For what?” Obi-Wan was still looking at the orange paint, at the sun’s ray peeking through his fingers.

“Just, thank you,” Obi-Wan repeated. From the periphery of his eye he saw Cody watching him, his confusion again changing to worry. He decided to ignore it, already rising. “Come on, before they leave without us.” He reached out his hand to Cody, and he took it.

[translucent-sun]

“Do you want to go out tonight?” Obi-Wan asked over the report they’d been working on since the early morning hours.

They’d learned by now that no one really questioned it, so it’d become a habit, sitting together when time presented itself. It should make getting the work done quicker, but usually it did the opposite. Often the data in front of them was forgotten for long moments at a time when one of them brought up a topic that could be lengthy discussed, or when a new cup of tea was needed. Though today they’d both been oddly quiet, until Obi-Wan asked his question. And Cody wasn’t sure how to react, didn’t know whether Obi-Wan was serious.

“What exactly would that look like? I mean how could we...?” They could, he supposed, tell anyone who asks that he’s staying in Obi-Wan’s quarters because they have more reports to work through, more strategies to discuss, same if he took Obi-Wan to the barracks and looked for a free room there. But that would hardly count as “going out”. He was so lost in thought that he hadn’t noticed that Obi-Wan was still waiting for him to continue, a smile slowly forming on his lips.

“Is that a yes?” Obi-Wan’s smile grew, and Cody couldn’t help but return it at his obvious excitement.

“Of course it is,” he said. “But where are we going?” There was a mischievous twinkle in Obi-Wan’s eyes when he answered.

“You’ll see.”

“What’s in the bag?” Cody asked after they’d been walking for a while. The sun was slowly beginning to set, though it was hardly noticeable under Coruscant’s city lights.

“Clothes,” Obi-Wan replied shortly, as though it was obvious. “We’ll change into them as soon as we’re at Dex’s.” Cody stopped for a moment, his brain trying to catch up.

“You’re taking me to Dex’s?” Cody couldn’t help but chuckle. “Why would we need to change clothes? It’s certainly not the fanciest of places.” He looked down on himself, considering his dress uniform.

“Only to change and to store everything we won’t need. The point of going where we are going is that no one knows our relations,” Obi-Wan said, motioning towards the republic sigil on Cody’s shoulder, then towards himself. “Don’t exactly want to be flaunting them.”

Now that Cody thought about it, he really didn’t have any clothes that didn’t mark him as part—as property—of the republic army. He had his armor he personalized, something to recognize him by, sure, but even that didn’t belong to him. He had his dress uniform. A republic issued set of pajamas. His blacks. All of them adorned with the sigil of the republic, making sure everyone who looked at him knew at first glance where—whom he belonged. He shook the thought off.

“When will you tell me where we’re going then?”

“Patience, dear,” Obi-Wan chuckled.

“To level twenty-five eighty-seven please,” Obi-Wan ordered the droid piloting the taxi once they sat inside, and for a moment Cody thought he must have misheard. Only when the droid answered in its tinny voice, confirming the request, could he be sure that he didn’t.

“One ride to Coruscant’s underworld, level twenty-five eighty-seven. Please note that we are not liable for theft of personal belongings or physical harm.”

Cody turned towards Obi-Wan slowly, only to find him looking back at him expectantly, looking smug.

“Really?” Cody chuckled. He really didn’t have to say much more, the look on his face must have been enough.

“Hey, I know a few places where the food is amazing,” Obi-Wan replied. “You’ll see.”

They arrived shortly after, and as soon as they stepped out of the taxi, Cody felt like he was in an entirely different world. He’d been to the lower levels before, but never during the night, and certainly not for fun. But now they were standing on the dock, and even here everything around them was buzzing with life.

“Come on,” Obi-Wan said, and without looking at him he could hear the smile in his voice. When Cody didn’t start moving, too captivated by the neon lights, Obi-Wan gently grabbed him by the arm and guided him along. “What do you want to do first?” Cody was positively overwhelmed.

“Well, what are the options?”

“Well,” Obi-Wan echoed, his hold on Cody’s arm softening. Cody felt his fingers trailing down the thick material of his coat before Obi-Wan’s fingers interlaced with his own. “We could just go explore or get a drink. Visit the night market, try a few things as a starter and then have a proper dinner somewhere.”

Cody chucked. “That doesn’t sound like options, that sounds like an entirely planned out night. How long have you been thinking about this?” He knew this most likely wouldn’t have been a spontaneous idea – it was too big for that. Organizing the clothes, making sure they both didn’t have any duties tonight, this plan. Cody couldn’t exactly place the feeling that came over him. Gratitude, yes, but also something at the back of his head that told him he didn’t deserve it. He couldn’t think about it for too long before Obi-Wan tugged, swinging their joined hands between them when Cody caught up to walk in step.

“I have been planning, but not for long. I’ve been thinking about how we could spend time together outside our usual settings, and I talked to Anakin about it, asked him how he and Padme do it. And he told me about how they went on date nights down here, early into the war. I wasn’t sure how you would like that, but I thought it would be worth a try.” He shrugged as if it was the most obvious, easiest thing. “So if it was a plan, how would it sound?”

Cody stopped walking, forcing Obi-Wan to do the same. He looked around at the hundreds of people walking past, none of them paying even a second of attention to them, and just for a moment, Cody considered kissing him right there and then.

“It sounds absolutely perfect.”

They did as they said, exploring and marveling at the neon lights reflecting off puddles and dirty chrome, of shards of glass both on the ground and in broken windows. Cody knew of the reputation of the lower levels, knew the population’s struggles. But being here, it was hard not to romanticize it. Some of his brothers had told him about Naboo’s Festival of Light once, and though he’d never seen it himself, he couldn’t imagine it to be more beautiful than this. It was magical. Cody was tugged out of his thoughts, quite literally, by his hand.

“Are you there?” Obi-Wan asked. He sounded amused, the corner of his mouth lifted with his raised eyebrow, and the smile only grew when Cody didn’t reply. Too occupied with the way the differed colors of light tinted Obi-Wan’s hair, sparkled in his bright eyes. There was nothing that could be more beautiful than this.

And this time, Cody did lean in and kiss him. It lasted no longer than a couple seconds, but time seemed to stand still and the kiss felt like an eternity when Obi-Wan returned it.

“What was that for?” Obi-Wan whispered when they parted.

“Thank you,” Cody simply said. “For taking me here.”

[translucent-sun]

In a very deep "I hate everything I've ever done and don't have the motivation to do anything ever again and I want to throw away an delete everything I've ever made" phase right now so I can't even find anything I like enough to post, BUT this is starting to look promising! Imagine I actually finish this

[translucent-sun]

“I will head in for an early night,” Obi-Wan said. It was barely past seven, but the landing was planned for 4 a.m. sharp, and the attack as soon after that as was possible. “We should get all the sleep we can get before tomorrow.” It was a lie, really. He wasn’t tired, and even if he was, he felt that sleep would be impossible. 

Meditation, though, was what he needed. Even with their plan, he knew tomorrow wouldn’t be easy. 

A choir of “Goodnight, General,” broke out among the handful of men he had been sitting and talking with for the past couple hours. It had been intended to be one last talk-through of tomorrows mission, gathering everyone who would handle the most important details. Though after that, it quickly turned into a happy get together, the prospect of tomorrow being the last thing on everyone’s mind. Or everyone pretended that it wasn’t. Obi-Wan wasn’t sure. “Goodnight,” Cody said with a nod, which Obi-Wan returned before making to leave.

“Goodnight, boys,” he said with a wave of his hand.

Finally in his quarters, the quiet was almost overwhelming. The past hours had been a much-needed distraction, a welcome one, but now it made everything feel even more. More difficult, more serious, like there was so much more at stake. He settled down on the round pillow he’d placed in the middle of the room, preparing for his meditation. He needed to ground himself, sort his thoughts, remember his place within the Force.

He would never admit it, but in moments like this, the feeling of anxiety was almost all-consuming. If he didn’t remind himself that the Force would guide him, the fear would eat him alive. Many of the clones who would fight tomorrow’s battle hadn’t had much chance to prove themselves yet—they were spared from having to do so. But that only put the stakes higher. 

He tried to shake the thoughts off, but they kept drifting. To the clones. To Cody. Obi-Wan inhaled deeply. When was the last time he’d found meditation so difficult? He smiled when he remembered his teen years, feeling the same anxiety. Shaking his head, he forced himself to focus. But instead of focusing on not thinking, all he could think about were Cody and the others. With a groan, he gave up. He might as well lie down and close his eyes. Maybe he could trick his body into thinking he’s tired.

The morning was an early one, filled with preparations before the landing, moving everything and everyone where they were supposed to be. 

And then it all happened so quickly. Everything went according to plan, until it didn’t. What was supposed to be the battle to end all battles, the one that Obi-Wan had declared only moments earlier to be the battle to end all bloodshed, quickly became a battle of bloodshed so major, it exceeded everything he’d heard about Hypori. 

How could everything go so wrong? How could they have missed such a major detail? There really was no time to worry about any of this now. The only thing that should be on his mind now is survival. Survival of his men, survival of Cody. His own, so he could protect them. Protect him. 

Cody had already saved his life earlier, even before everything went south, and he would not let his bravery go to waste. They’d already lost too many men, too many lives, and Obi-Wan felt as each of them was ripped away, like a candle being suffocated within the Force, its light extinguished. There have been hundreds of those candles now. He’d stopped counting about ten minutes ago, afraid that the pain would overwhelm him. He would not let the same happen to Cody. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing him. The meaning of that became increasingly clear to him. 

There was no time to dwell on those feelings, though, as he received the comm to clear the bridge. They were preparing to blow it up. 

“I still have wounded on that bridge!” he called back, pleading. The only reply he received was another warning. “Where is Commander Cody?” He was sure that the desperation in his voice was audible, but he didn’t care. A crackling through the comm, then finally an answer in the voice he’d always recognize, even though it was shared by thousands.

“On our way off. Now move, General!” 

Obi-Wan had never felt so much relief in his life. 

It felt like the battle and everything following lasted for hours. Ages. A never-ending nightmare.

Though now, as he was sitting and watching the sun rise above the ocean, he remembered that he’d seen the sun start to rise before everything even started to go wrong. That only made it worse, though. All those lives lost in the matter of what, twenty minutes? Less? The Jedi existed to protect. What was his purpose if he couldn’t protect? What was the point of any of this? The sun kept rising, and Obi-Wan almost couldn’t believe that it still could. So much could happen, and the sun would still rise, announce day after day, without ever stopping, no matter what it’s witnessed the day before. So terribly gorgeous. 

He heard footstep approaching behind him, but he didn’t have the energy to turn.

“The evacuation ships are here,” he heard Cody say, faintly, as though he was far away. For a long moment he didn’t answer. And Cody waited patiently. 

“Will you sit with me?” Obi-Wan asked quietly. “Just for a moment?” Without a word, Cody came closer, lowering himself into the grass beside him. They sat in silence for quite some time before Obi-Wan finally found his voice again. 

“We lost so many men today, so many–” his voice broke off. He took a deep breath before he continued. “I was so scared to lose you, too.” He spoke so quietly, he wasn’t sure if Cody even heard him over the noise of the engines and the shouting, his own ears still ringing. Cody didn’t answer, didn’t look at him for a long moment. 

“I tried to keep a lookout on you, and every time I lost sight of you, I was terrified,” Cody finally admitted, facing him. “But I’m here, and you are here, too.” Cody put his hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder, firmly squeezing his shoulder between the gap the armor left. He could almost hear Cody comment on it, telling him how– 

“Not really effective, is it?” he asked, squeezing the spot again. 

Obi-Wan couldn’t help but chuckle, the dark cloud in his mind not quite lifting, but a few stray rays of sun piercing through. He really knew Cody so well by now. 

Cody cocked his head in confusion, frowning. “What?” 

“I knew you would say something like that the moment you touched my shoulder.” Obi-Wan sighed, his gaze lingering on the sky for a moment longer before turning to Cody. “Besides, I could say the same about yours.” Obi-Wan poked the exposed fabric on Cody’s upper arm. “Dead.” Then he gestured towards his neck. “Dead.” Finally, he tapped the upper edge of Cody’s leg armor, pointing towards his exposed thigh when Cody looked down. “Dead. Major arteries, easily accessible.” Cody rolled his eyes.

“So you might as well leave everything exposed, makes sense,” he teased, and Obi-Wan smiled. 

Five minutes with Cody, and the weight on his shoulders already felt less crushing. Present, but bearable. 

Maybe the sun was right, to start each day fresh, to give it another chance. 

“Are you okay?” Cody asked quietly. Obi-Wan closed his eyes, his smile not wavering as he lowered his head.

“Thank you,” he replied, ignoring his question. When he finally looked up at him, his eyes locked on Cody’s chest. He brought his hand up to it, planting it firmly across it. Cody looked confused. 

“For what?” Obi-Wan was still looking at the orange paint, at the sun’s ray peeking through his fingers.

“Just, thank you,” Obi-Wan repeated. From the periphery of his eye he saw Cody watching him, his confusion again changing to worry. He decided to ignore it, already rising. “Come on, before they leave without us.” He reached out his hand to Cody, and he took it.

[translucent-sun]

I'm in such a huge writer's block I'm fighting the urge to just post everything in fear I'll never finish it 😭 I've been working on it for One and a half years now and I'm afraid it might take a couple more at this rate!

[translucent-sun]

A few quick sketches I did for my story, either to get a better idea of what things should look like or just because I thought it would be fun to draw it

[translucent-sun]

With a wave of his hand, Obi-Wan closed the door. And even quicker, he crossed the room and had his hands on Cody's neck, his lips attached to Cody’s, who returned his hasty kiss eagerly. Cody brought his hands to Obi-Wan's waist, then let them wander to the small of his back before interlacing there, keeping him close. When they finally parted, Cody gasped.

“I think this might be addictive.” Cody huffed, too out of breath to really laugh. Obi-Wan rested his forehead against Cody’s, chuckling.

“That might become a problem if that’s the case.” He pressed another kiss to Cody’s lips, drawing back before Cody could return it. “How much time do you have?”

“Half an hour, maybe one if we can come up with a good excuse,” Cody said, apologetic. Obi-Wan nodded, taking his hand and guiding him towards his bed.

“Enough time for a nap, then.” He grinned, lying down on his back. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. “Lie with me?” He patted the empty space beside him, and Cody thought back to the day in Obi-Wan’s quarters in the temple. How he’d wanted to kiss him, and now he was allowed to. He squeezed in next to him on the narrow bed, nowhere as comfortable as the one in the temple.

But that was barely worth the thought as Obi-Wan’s finger moved across the back of his hand, tracing his knuckles. The touch was nice but unfamiliar, and it took him a second to realize that it was intentional. Cody turned to look at him, but Obi-Wan was now staring at the ceiling.

“Your mission would have started today, wouldn’t it?” he suddenly asked. Sighing, Cody turned back to stare at the ceiling, too. He’d almost forgotten about it until this week.

“Yes,” he said. “But it doesn’t matter anymore.” From the corner of his eye he saw Obi-Wan’s head turning, and he faced him. “They’ve reassigned it to someone else when it became clear that we wouldn’t make it back in time.” Obi-Wan looked at him for a moment, something like regret on his face.

“I’m sorry,” he said, quietly. “You have put so much thought into your strategy. But I have to admit I’m a little relieved that I won’t have to let you go.” Cody chuckled.

“No, it’s alright,” Cody assured him. “I was looking forward to it,” he admitted. “But this is so much nicer.” He turned his hand, Obi-Wan’s finger now tracing along his palm. He interlaced their fingers, squeezing gently.

“Less dangerous too,” Obi-Wan joked, grimacing when he must have realized that what he said wasn’t true at all. “Well, it’s my preferred kind of danger.” Cody chuckled. He rolled onto his side, perching up on his elbow until he was hovering over Obi-Wan.

“Mine too,” he said before leaning down and kissing Obi-Wan, slowly at first, deepening it when Obi-Wan returned the kiss enthusiastically. Obi-Wan’s arms found their way around Cody’s middle, pulling just enough for Cody to feel it, with no actual strength behind it. Just a comfortable weight Cody was tempted to give in to. So he did. He let himself be guided, shifting the weight from his arms until he was lying flush with Obi-Wan, chest pressed to chest. And still the weight around him was there, pulling him impossibly close. Obi-Wan hummed into the kiss, the sound vibrating through Cody’s body.

They rested, just like that, for a while, exchanging lazy kissed when they found each other’s lips.

“No one would believe me if I told them how gentle you are,” Obi-Wan suddenly whispered against his lips, nipping at them between words. Pulling back, Cody looked down at him, his brows furrowed but grinning.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked. He knew, of course. Everyone saw him as so stoic and serious. He’s been told many times that that’s probably what makes him work with Obi-Wan so well—that they’re both no fun, all business. He huffed at the thought. Obi-Wan brought his hands up to Cody’s face, resting a thumb on each corner of his mouth, drawing the smallest circles.

“Your resting face can look really intimidating if you don’t know that it’s just because you’re so deep in thought, imagining me in all kinds of situations.” Cody smile fell and he didn’t know how to respond, blinking slowly. Obi-Wan's smile only grew in response. “I might not be able to read your mind, but I see how embarrassed you get when you realize that I’m looking at you, and now I know the reason.” Obi-Wan lifted his head, trying to reach Cody’s lips. He pulled back further, his smile returning.

“Do you want to know how I imagined you?” he teased. To his surprise, Obi-Wan shook his head.

“No,” he said. “I’d rather you show me when we get there.” Cody felt himself blushing again. “I don’t want to get excited about something I can’t have—” Obi-Wan shot upwards again, faster than Cody could react. He grinned into the short kiss. “—yet.”

This time Cody leaned in to kiss him properly, meeting him halfway. It only lasted for a moment, though.

“I need to get back,” Cody said, groaning. Would they ever have longer than this? Obi-Wan sighed but released him from his embrace. Cody rose, straightening his dress uniform as best as he could. Looking down at the creased fabric, he sighed. He should have worn his blacks, or at least something under his uniform so he could have taken it off. Obi-Wan chuckled, seemingly noticing the same.

“You’ll have to find an excuse for that,” he said from where he was still lounging on the bed, nodding towards him. “And that’s something we’ll have to learn to consider. But we still have two more nights on ship to test the crease-resistance of your other clothes.” How did Obi-Wan say these things so nonchalantly while just hearing them left Cody with a racing heart?

Trying to overplay his nervousness, already on his way to the door, he said, “we’ll try something else tomorrow, then.”

His blacks, hidden under his dress uniform until the door has closed tightly behind them, proved to be the winner.

[translucent-sun]

is this a fix-it fic?

Kinda, but not really! I mean it fixes things as in they get to reunite and be together, but... things still happen as they have to happen. It's a "different journey, same destination" kinda thing, if that makes sense? Every bad thing still happens, but they get the chance to have good things, too.