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truths33k3r4 · 9 days ago

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CHAPTER 14 - Only a Teacher, Never a Father

For most of Mikey’s childhood, Splinter’s bedroom solely remained ‘off limits’ to the brothers. And on the rare occasion that they did find themselves in the mysterious nook, it was most likely for the purpose of awaiting a punishment. Despite the soft, crimson carpet and the smoky scents of flickering candles spread out the room, the space never felt warm. Even the majesty of the hand-painted mural on the wall did nothing but remind them just how small they truly were.

Mikey winced at the sensation of sweat seeping into his jittering palms, his darting turquoise irises finding their home everywhere except his father’s face. He was sure he’d picked and pulled at every stray thread on his hand wraps, causing the ends to fray. He couldn’t help it! Energy always had a special place in his soul, usually stemming from joy, laughter, or a good beat. But the adrenaline causing his palms to become the ickiest of slip-n-slides was foreign and very much unwelcome.

He hated not knowing what to do. And when he was unsure, he would fidget; That was something he could pour the nervous energy into, by twiddling with his fingernails, picking at dry skin, or pulling and twirling material around his fingers. Sure, it would leave his wraps a glorified ball of yarn encasing his arms, or his nails would get a little too short, but it was better than catching himself spouting off random words in a chaotic mess that barely resembled a sentence. They had Don for that, and the youngest would never steal an iconic habit from his temperamental, genius brother.

The stress building inside of the youngest wasn’t helped at all when he saw how his older brother had handled training. Raph was rarely one to make a verbal sound during exercising, always keeping his pain just as secret as his bleeding heart. So it really threw Mikey for a loop when his fiery brother had not only groaned loud enough to be heard, but had also somehow injured himself before a spar even broke out. It twisted the youngest’s tender heart when he saw his tough brother whimper through the pain that had pulsed through his arm. And when Mikey had asked what happened, his older brother bit his lip and shoved his discomfort back into unseen shadows. Just like always.

After Splinter had caught them talking, things just went downhill from there. The dojo became as silent and cold as falling snow as they finished their stretches and tumbles. Not a single diss was given from Raph as the brothers exercised, which twisted Mikey’s brain and gut even more; Instigation and insults were as common as bruises in their home. Especially in the room where they trained and sparred. So that further proved to the youngest how unwell his fiery sibling really was.

A determined scowl grew on the youngest’s face.

He’s got another thing coming if he thinks this is over. Soon as I’m done here I’m gonna drag his berry-hued butt to Sensei. Or Leo. Maybe both.

“Ahem.”

Mikey flinched at the seemingly calm and patient sound that rumbled through his father.

Oh crud. I totally got lost in my head again.

“S-Sorry, Dad!” The youngest whimpered, as he straightened his posture and did his best to give his full attention to his waiting sensei. He purposefully placed his hands at his sides, hoping that would be enough to keep himself from picking at his wraps. With a forced breath he lowered his shoulders as his father knelt down in front of him. Mikey inwardly struggled not to rise up and help his aged sensei when the master let out a strained grunt as he knelt on the mat.

“Now that I have your undivided attention,” Master Splinter spoke with faded brows raised and the glimmer of an amused smile, “We can finally begin. Firstly, I will start by telling you that you are not in trouble.”

Mikey couldn’t help but sigh in relief at the news. “Oh, good! PHEW!” He nervously laughed, dramatically swiping his hand across his forehead and flicking off beads of sweat.

“Yes.” Splinter softly chuckled along, most likely attempting to soothe the frayed nerves of his youngest son. “There is nothing necessarily wrong, but there are… changes that will soon be happening to you.”

His father’s gentle but worrying words felt like a stone with soft, smooth edges but a staggering weight hidden within. Part of Mikey wished his father just acted like Raph sometimes, and replaced the babying tones with iron, blunt force. At least that way the pain would be over quicker, and the youngest wouldn’t be left anxiously waiting for the bombshell to go off.

He tried to swallow the girthy stone of his father’s words, nearly making him choke as he squeaked, “What do you mean by ch-changes?” He asked cautiously, waiting for the rock in his gut to become a stick of dynamite.

His father’s face shifted, conflict pulling taut every wrinkle. Mikey unknowingly tensed as a decision was made behind his sensei’s mossy irises.

“I shall start with where you are in your training.”

Oh. That’s it? Really??

“That’s it?” Mikey asked, bringing volume to his inner thoughts without realizing it. A stern glare from his father silenced both his mind and his words.

“No, it is just where we will start.” Splinter corrected with a subtle twitch of wavering patience from one of his ears. “Do you recall what your older brothers did when they turned thirteen? How their training and passions intensified?”

…Uh… That’d be a nope.

“Um… Not really, Sensei…” Mikey admitted, his gaze straying to the floor. “I was kinda in my own world back then.”

It was true. He’d always been a bit more of an “airhead” as Raph so gently put it. When he was a kid, his world consisted of drawing, singing, and watching movies. When he wasn’t doing those, his time was put into schoolwork and hanging out with his brothers.

Things didn’t begin to change until Leo and Raph turned eleven and twelve; One fateful day they both emerged from Sensei’s room, Leo sobbing and Raph bleeding from a deep cut across his right eye.

Ever since that accident their father changed; Bed times became more strict, schoolwork was watched with a prying eye, and laughter became scarcely heard from their dad’s mouth. He especially became really hard on Leo, pulling him aside all the time for Bible Study and training rather than allowing the oldest to just… be a kid. There was no doubt that Leo had messed up that day when he cut Raph, but part of Mikey really wondered if Sensei had gone too far with the rigorous spiritual and physical exercises he had put the eldest through.

If Mikey could look through his oldest brother’s eyes, would he see Splinter as Father, or would he only be known as Master?

“Mm.” Splinter thoughtfully hummed as he began stroking his beard, “It is true you were not the most observant of my students… Which is part of what makes it further frustrating when your raw talent is squandered with childish behaviors. If you truly put your all into your studies and training, I could one day see you as a master yourself.”

Mikey’s posture struck rigidly at the combination of his father’s insult and compliment as if he were hit by a flash of lightning. “T-Thanks?... I think?” He shrugged, dazed from the aftershock.

Master Splinter sighed as his ears drooped. This was not going according to plan at all. “The purpose of my words, Michelangelo, is not to uplift, but rather determine.” He stated, lighting a spark on the wick of dynamite wedged between Mikey’s heart and lungs. “Like your brothers, you will soon have to decide a role in your team. Can you recall the positions they chose?”

The flickering sparks traveling through Mikey’s gut made his heart rate pulse uncomfortably. He had to make a conscious effort to not grip his chest to slow it down, for fear of revealing his anxieties to his already patience-challenged sensei. Regardless of the discomfort attacking his body, he tried his best to push through.

“Uh, let’s see… Leo obviously chose Team Medic and Leader,” The youngest recalled, tapping one of his fingers as if counting, “... I’m gonna say Raphie went with Team Tough Guy?” He asked mischievously, as he tapped a second finger.

“Not quite.” Splinter monotoned, as he softly shook his head. “Raphael chose the role of Team Strategist. You out of everyone in this household are aware of his skills in recognizing weak points, as well as always being aware of his surroundings.”

Fair. The jerk’s gotten way harder to sneak attack thanks to his newly found spidey-sense…

“Yeah, he can always tell if you busted your ankle or slept on your neck wrong-” Mikey drawled, swaying his head, “- and then he’ll wait till you’re out of breath or distracted to deliver the final blow like BAM!” He shouted, emphasizing the onomatopoeia by slamming his hand into his opposite palm.

“Yes…” Splinter hesitantly agreed with another tired sigh, rubbing at the fur below his graying eyes. “Which is why he now plays the strategist of the team. And what about Donatello? What role did he choose?”

“Haha, probably Team Egghead.” Mikey spouted jokingly, to which his father responded by releasing another, heavier sigh.

“Michelangelo…” The great Master exhaled, his patience now wearing as thin as the frayed strings hanging from Mikey’s arm wraps.

“Sorry, sorry, I couldn’t resist!” The youngest weakly defended, quickly scrambling to reach and catch his train of thought. “I bet he chose to play Team Tech Wizard or something like that? Oh wait! Is Team Brain a thing?”

“That’s…” Another exhausted sigh huffed through Splinter’s nostrils. “...Close enough. Yes, your brother became the Brain of the group, using his intellect and common sense to guide his team through difficult decisions and situations.”

Mikey paused, letting all the information settle and flutter back down to solid ground. “So… what’s left?” He asked, genuinely considering the fact that his brothers took the best jobs offered on the team.

“The choice you must make does not depend on the options, my student. It depends on who you are becoming, and where your best qualities lie.” Master Splinter corrected, his tone heavy with the seriousness of a samurai, but soft with the care of a loving teacher. “I could already tell what roles your brothers would choose far before I began training them. It was evident through their individual skills and souls.”

Mikey shifted where he knelt, continuing to make a conscious effort to focus on the words being told to him no matter how heavy, serious, and scary they were becoming. “How could you tell?” He asked timidly, afraid his father would chide him for not knowing the answer himself.

Instead of judgment or annoyance billowing onto his father’s expression, there came a gentle, reminiscing smile.

“Your brothers made it very easy. Donatello has always been a logical soul, seeking knowledge for the purpose of winning arguments or protecting himself from anything that would harm him or his philosophies. I would catch him late at night with his nose buried into the pages of a book, even as a toddler. This natural yearning for knowledge pushed him to grow academically.”

“That’s why he was able to get a job, right? Cause he was smart?” Mikey asked, though this time he did already know the answer.

The soft expression gracing his father’s face twisted, whiskers twitching as the Master scrunched his nose. “Your brother earned his profession by his cleverness just as much as his intelligence. He succeeded in deceiving the eyes of his employer… as well as me.” His brows descended, creasing with conviction. “Had I known what he was up to I would’ve put a stop to it.”

“Why? Doesn’t he pay for a bunch of stuff? Why wouldn’t you want money?” The youngest inquired, confusion clear in his large irises and tilting head.

“It was not about the income.” Splinter replied, his voice withering. “Truly, we do need the money if we are to continue eating a healthier diet, but I am still wary of the dangers of being revealed to the-”

“-Wait.” The youngest interjected with a raised hand, his expression turning sour and offended. “Are you seriously telling me that the only thing Don gets with his money is VEGETABLES?!”

Another, long, exhausted sigh weaseled out of his father. “Yes, Michelangelo. If it weren’t for the hard work of your brother we would solely be living off of the dry, stale pastries from the bakery down the street.”

“Why’s that a bad thing?!” Mikey burst out, his hands waving in all directions like the stray sparks of a firework. “Those snacks are so good! Why give em’ up for… for…” Mikey failed to hold back a sudden gag, “-Healthy stuff??”

The wrinkles etched into the great Master’s face suddenly became more prominent.

“As I and Donatello have been trying to convince you of for the last thirteen years- you, my son, need vegetables in your diet. Living off of baked goods will not equip your body with the nutrients it needs.”

Mikey’s offended expression smoothed out to be more placid as he huffed, “That’s why you eat the pastries with the fruit filling. Duh!”

“We are getting off topic.” Splinter deadpanned, his pointed ears dropping lower with every second that passed.

“Okay, suuure,” Mikey hesitantly retreated despite his strong feelings on the matter, “Don’s always been a nerd and Raph’s always had a good eye at spotting weakness, but what about Leo? With how stressed out he is all the time, it’s hard to imagine he chose to be Team Medic and Leader…”

…It’s almost like he was forced to. Mikey silently finished in his mind.

With how hard their father became on the oldest, it really wouldn’t come as a surprise if in the end Splinter just decided to pawn off the positions on Leo, whether he wanted them or not.

“Your oldest brother was not so obvious in his skills, but over time it became clear to me by Leonardo’s tenderness and care that he would make an excellent healer.” Splinter admitted after taking a moment to think. “How he would dress you and your brothers’ wounds after training, or would always have a first-aid kit nearby, it made it obvious to me of his skills in caretaking for his family.”

That tracked. As far back as Mikey could remember, his oldest brother was always standing nearby, bandages and hugs at the ready. It didn’t matter if the boogeyman appeared in the shadows of a dark room, or if you scraped your hands raw sliding down rope. Leo was always there, ready to help and heal what had been hurt.

A slight twinge in the youngest’s right ankle forced him to reposition on his mat as a faint mist of guilt draped across his heart.

No matter how many times I’ve messed up, Leo’s always been there.

“Despite the anxieties that drown your brother constantly, he is always able to do what needs to be done.” Splinter continued, his thin voice slowly gaining strength.

Mikey thought back to the moment when Leo told him how Lotus’ surgery went, or rather how it had quickly gone dreadfully wrong. A pang of sympathy burst in his heart when he saw the shadows under his oldest brother’s eyes, the trembling of his gloved hands, and the telltale weight of crushing guilt weighing his shoulders down. His brother’s haunted words echoed back like the whispers of a ghost.

“She felt… everything.”

Not only had the oldest been forced to do a surgery for the first time, but he did it alone. The pressure that Leo always carried to be perfect and do his best must’ve flattened him once he realized the mistake he had made. However, Mikey had made it clear to him what happened was just a really bad accident.

He was still waiting to see if the oldest had accepted that fact or not.

“As for his bestowed role of Leadership,” Splinter went on, “that came to be as naturally as his birthright of eldest. From a very young age, Leonardo would always pester and direct you and your brothers. Even when you would play together, he would give you the imaginary roles you were to act out. And you all, not quite having wills of your own yet, would willingly take his commands.”

Mikey couldn’t help the grin blossoming on his face as those warm memories filled his vision and steadied his heart. “Haha… yeah, I remember those days.” He said with a gentle fondness of the times long past, when life was just a little less complicated.

“It filled my heart when I watched him guide you all, protecting you from unknown dangers and becoming a foundation you could rely on.” Master Splinter reminisced with a similar smile. Then the vibrance decorating his aged face faded, a troubled expression quickly taking its place. “But, as with all strengths and skills, it all depends on how you harness them… I wish I had been quicker to recognize that Leonardo’s leadership had twisted into manipulation.” An unseen weight pressed down on the Master’s shoulders as he hid his face within his palm.

Mikey’s irises shrank as his eyes widened in surprise, his breath stuttering in his throat. “Th-That can’t be true.” He whispered in unbelief, brows creased and a slight quiver to his lip. “Leo wouldn’t trick us like that!”

“By God’s grace and teaching, he doesn’t anymore.” His father replied, words heavy with exhaustion. “But for far too many years he would use you and your brothers to do his bidding, getting Donatello to secretly finish his homework, or causing Raphael to lose his temper so he would be forced to his room, leaving the television solely to the eldest.”

That… can’t be right.

“But, Sensei… I don’t remember any of that! Are you totally sure?” Mikey asked, trying to keep his voice from going too high and causing another embarrassing squeak.

His father lowered his hand revealing his weary face. “The worst of sins, my son, are the ones done in secret, to the point where even the bearer does not know what they are doing.”

“No, that- that isn’t right!” Mikey defended, passion to defend clear in his growing tone, “You just don’t know him! The Leo I know wouldn’t do that! He’s always been kind and caring and c-compassionate!”

“-Michelangelo.” Splinter warned, his voice low and singed at the edges.

“-No!” Mikey cried, his tongue sharpening as his words continued to point accusing fingers, “No, you’ve never seen the true Leo. You just think of him as -as something you need to fix!”

His father’s irises shifted, a hardness suddenly overtaking the moss-like hue. In an iron tone demanding resolution of the subject he stated,

“Sacrifices had to be made for the good of your brother’s soul.”

… Even if that means you stole someone’s childhood from them?

That they’re always stressed and worried that they’re not enough?

That they can’t ever FORGIVE THEMSELVES?

Mikey’s fingers curved into fists as a small, dark seed began to sprout within him. His gaze fell to the floor, dragged down not by guilt but something else; Something planted and sharp like a thorn crawling its way up a rose.

“That’s not enough reason to break him!” The boy’s fists began to shake as he remembered the dedication forced into his oldest brother, and how through the years it wore Leo down. Where once a mischievous and silly boy played, now stood a teen with anxiety and pressure; Always building and never soothed.

All by the hands of his sensei.

His father.

Just say it.

“... Why did you train him instead of love him?” Mikey hissed, his turquoise irises igniting with anger like heat fueling the rays of the sun.

The hurt bleeding into his Sensei’s eyes was quickly flashed over by a flame of indignation.

“Michelangelo.” The great Master’s voice rumbled in whispered threat like a storm brewing in the distance. “Do not act as if you understand the decisions I have been forced to make as teacher and father. Your brother chose that road himself, and I had to discipline him accordingly. Leonardo was traveling down a path of selfishness, and it needed to be pulled from its root.”

The flame of his father’s words burned the youngest like a branding iron on delicate skin. The dark seed within him was engulfed by the blaze instantly, leaving nothing but ash and fear. Guilt and shame quickly followed, rattling Mikey’s body like the turbulence of a fierce gale. His jaw fell slack, hanging from his chin and gathering spit. His turquoise irises were nothing but pinpricks trembling at the kindled anger burning within his father’s words.

“Dad, I-I’m…” Mikey choked out, finally grasping his purloined breath and voice. His hands trembled in his lap as his face burned with shame. He whimpered, bowing his head in a silent plea for forgiveness. His eyes squeezed shut, no longer able to stomach his father’s wounded expression. “I’m s-sorry.”

Another sigh, this time steadying and cleansing, left his father. A calloused but soft palm again planted itself onto Mikey’s quivering shoulder, causing a small jolt out of the distressed child as he raised his head.

“I forgive you, my son.” His father’s voice gently soothed, the flame within still flickering but nearly quenched. “But I never want you to speak to me like that again. Am I understood?”

“H-Hai.” Mikey squeaked, his voice pulled thin from the guilt and shame tugging at both ends of his windpipe.

An uncomfortable silence sucked the life out of the room, leaving Mikey and his father in an awkward limbo, neither knowing what to do or how to save the conversation. Instinctively, Mikey began to pick at his nails as he pushed back the brimming tears in his eyes.

Dad’s never yelled at me like that before…

The unnerving chill of discipline loomed in the air, causing a slight shiver through the youngest.

Finally, thankfully, Master Splinter spoke up. “I need you to be thinking and praying about what position you shall take on your team. You will not be allowed on any missions until your decision is made. Is that clear?”

Mikey silently nodded, his expression scrunched and movement slow; The charred burns from his father’s words still stung the child’s heart, leaving him uncharacteristically speechless and still.

“There is some good news as well.” Splinter added with brows raised, “After your role on the team has been chosen… you will be allowed to pick your very own weapon.”

Mikey’s picking fingers froze instantly.

Wait, WHATTT???

“Dude- er- Dad- WHAT?! I’m gonna get my own sword or bow? Aw, SHELL YEAH!” Mikey cheered, his signature grin returning in all its bright glory. He leapt off his mat, prancing around the room, kicking and punching into the air with an invisible weapon. “H-YAH! HEEYAH!”

When Mikey caught the gaze of his father’s regretful eyes he stopped prancing around, returning to his mat sheepishly. “Haha… Sorry…” He shrugged, still wearing his shining smile.

On the outside, Mikey was using every acting skill he knew to appear calm. But on the inside was a different story.

LET’S GOOO!!! I’m gonna FINALLY go on missions too!!! HAHA YES! No more hanging back at the lair~ I’ll officially be part of the team! Well- Okay, I still gotta pick a role, but it can’t be that hard, right? I just gotta go with my gut! My personality and soul~

…Okay, how do you figure out what kind of soul you got? Do you just describe yourself and go from there? I can do that! Okay, I’m bright, and cheery, and fun, and optimistic.

So… what role would be best for someone with the personality of the sun?...

Hmm.

…This might not be as easy as I thought…

“Michelangelo Hanten, are you listening to me?”

Oh Frosted Flakes I did it again.

“S-SORRY!!” Mikey cried out, raising his hands defensively in front of his face. It offered him a clear view of his hand wraps- frayed and worn.

GUHH MAN! Another set of wraps ruined! DANG IT!

“Now…” Splinter huffed, the annoyance on his face quickly shifting to uncomfortable dread, “There is… one more matter we have to… discuss.”

Mikey couldn’t help but tilt his head, his brows slanting in question at the sudden strange behavior from his sensei. Master Splinter always spoke and moved with precision and dignity, never slurring his words or tripping on a single step. So at the sight of his master becoming tense and shifting in his seat, it really made Mikey start to freak out again.

“Okay?…” The youngest whimpered.

Master Splinter cleared his throat, straightening his robe with soft swipes of his hands. “Now um…”

Master Splinter just said “um”.

It’s the END OF THE FRIGGIN’ WORLD. EH- EH- EH- ABORT! ABORT!

“... There comes a time in every person’s life when their body…”

What’s happening?

“...begins...”

WHAT IS HAPPENING.

to change.”

Mikey’s eyes widened, a look of growing dread smearing his once excited smile like rain over chalked pictures. Without realizing it, his body’s natural response to his growing distress and embarrassment was to begin pulling his head into his shell.

Now he knew why Raph was laughing.

ABORT! ABORT! SAVE YOURSELFFF!!!

Anddd that's all for this chapter! XD

A lot of you had commented your theories of what Splinter had to talk to Mikey about, (most of you landing on the dreaded TALK from a parent), but I wanted to do just a bit more than that in this chapter. :) In my story, each of the brothers had to go through this rite of passage with Splinter when they turned thirteen. Splinter, being the wise master that he is, chose to begin "the TALK" with more pleasant news to keep his sons calm and less nervous. His hope was to excite his sons with the choosing of their roles and weapons and then... eventually deliver the SLEDGEHAMMER of discussing other certain aspects of growing up that aren't so pleasant...

(Also what Mikey said yelled to Splinter about being so hard on Leo- I may or may not have just been using him as a microphone to voice my own scolding of how Splinter, *COUGH* 2012 *COUGH* , is normally shown to treat the oldest of his sons. Like- bro- HE'S MORE THAN JUST A STUDENT, DANG IT. Yes, there are times where we got to see a more gentle side of the ratman, but CERTAINLY NOT ENOUGH- Okay rant over... XD)

Thanks for reading! Feel free to reblog!

A BIG THANK YOU TO @poetique823 for reviewing and critiquing my chapter! <3

@indieyuugure @writer-in-wonder @allyheart707 @oddartistl3 @risebabyx2 @joyjoygorl @carrots-bear @imagionationstation @howtotrainyourdragonprince @jasminegazer @brightonstudios @ninjaturtlefan-dee @rottmntlover14 @eggbem @lydjachan @sashatrout @chaosborb

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To God be the glory!

~ Melissa

MASTERPOST <- PRIOR CHAPTER NEXT CHAPTER ->

#tmnt #the strength in weakness #SIW Splinter #SIW Mikey #SIW Leo #SIW Raph #my version of tmnt!!#Splinter and Mikey have a very important chat #that will not be awkward at all #Nope #Splinter is too often placed as a teacher rather than a father #fight me #what would you guys say your favorite version of Splinter is?#As much as I complained about him 2012 is mine XD But 2003 is close #youngest sibling perspective

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